Waiters Share The Worst Valentine’s Day Disasters They’ve Ever Seen

Though many justifiably call Valentine’s Day nothing more than a holiday called into existence by jewelry and greeting card companies, chocolate and flower vendors and the service industry, most couples can’t help but celebrate it anyway.

And there’s no shame in that.

Why not spend a night with complete focus on a partner and all things love and romance?

But for a variety of reasons, the holiday can still end in pure chaos.

Redditor Hamsternoir banked on that unfortunate reality when they asked:

“Waiters what Valentine day disasters have you witnessed?”

Of course, marriage proposals are frequently a piece of these stories.

“I was eating in a fine dining establishment (Chili’s) several years ago. In the next booth was a really young guy who had a big bunch of roses on the seat next to him.”

“He kept looking at his watch, looking at the roses, and popping open a ring box for a peek at the ring.”

“He did this for a half hour or so, then began calling and texting someone (presumably his girlfriend) over and over.”

“As we were waiting for our check, he hands my wife the roses, mumbled something, and walked out.”

“Poor guy.” — AZScienceTeacher

It’s even worse when there’s a secret audience. 

“Not a waiter but I was a pastry chef at this big resort in cape cod. We got a special order from this guy who was coming in for his anniversary ( Valentine’s day). He wanted his desert to have ‘Will you marry me?’ written on it so he could pop the question when it came out.”

“He called ahead to the front and back kitchen, even came in himself that morning to make sure it was good to go. The whole crew was behind him. We had cooks all night coming in the ask if it had happened yet.”

“I wrote the inscription on the plate and dressed it to the nines with gold leaf and expensive chocolate. I’m taking a picture of the plate just before it’s set to go out and notice our head waiter come in with a weird look on his face.”

“He says plainly ‘They don’t need it’ “

“She broke up with him before the entrees hit the table.” — jeanlukepikard

In one case, the waitstaff became directly involved.

“There was a note in our reservations that it was an engagement, they wanted champagne, a specific seat, bunch of other stuff. The server comes up to the table with something like ‘so I read we’re celebrating an engagement, congratulations.’ ”

“Confusion from the woman; glaring from the guy. He hadn’t proposed yet. She ruined it.” — ChefHannibal

For one Redditor, the proposal remains a mystery. 

“Old man proposed to old woman. He tried to get off the chair to kneel, tripped and fell and I assume broke something since he couldnt get back up and we had to call an ambulance.”

“My manager had to drive her teeth to the hospital separately because she had taken them out to eat her soup (lord knows why) and left them on the table in the confusion.” — rancid_cu**_bucket

There are, however, other versions of love lost.

“They came in at lunch the day after, so it was pretty empty but it was still for a Valentine’s Day date. They were both pretty nice at the beginning, the guy asked for a picture and whatnot.”

“As the meal went on, the dude got progressively drunker and by the time I brought the check out, the woman was gone.”

“When the dude gave me his card, he said ‘I’ll give you a bit of advice. If you’re taking a girl out to break up with her, do it at a McDonald’s and not an expensive restaurant’.” — _StanleyYelnats

Breakups aren’t always such a spectacle, though.

“These two were on a date and the guy went to go use the bathroom, The girl just up and leaves after he went to the restroom. When the guy came back he sat around for awhile until asking his waitress where she went.”

“She replied with saying that she left. The guy then asked the waitress if she would go on a date with him. The waitress said no.” — OffensiveGender

For this waiter, the relationship in question was hers.

“I was working as a waitress in a Sushi restaurant and Valentine’s Day was an all-hands-on-deck shift.”

“This guy I had just started seeing wanted to go out, but I told him that working in food service, you never get Valentine’s Day off and we’d just have to celebrate the day after or the weekend after.”

“Nope. He got so upset that he went and asked a different girl out, came to the restaurant I worked at on V-Day and sat in MY SECTION.”

“He then proceeded to spend the entire evening making a fool out of himself and making his date uncomfortable as he tried to make me jealous.”

“Needless to say we didn’t go out again. Ever.” — venustas

And there were those juicy stories of infidelity.

“In college I waited tables and Valentine’s Day was always a good one in terms of tips.”

“I once saw a couple come in to eat, halfway through the dinner the mans wife shows up to surprise the couple. The wife took the wine bottle and poured the remnants on the husbands head, took off her ring and told the girlfriend she could have him.”

“He tipped me a $100” — kobra_kyle

This one doesn’t involve a waiter, but it’s just too wild to leave out.

“I was a delivery driver for a fruit bouquet company and I had two arrangements from the same guy.”

“Routes were made for me and the truck was loaded so there was no way I could mess this up. Delivered both arrangements to the appropriate address.”

“I headed back to the store to find the store owner and the guy who sent these in an argument. This idiot put the wrong name to the houses. And it was on the card with the arrangement. Along with the phone numbers.”

“So both women called each other and then called the guy. He tried to say it was my fault. Then the person who took the order. He ordered it ONLINE. All we did was import the order.”

“I hate valentine’s day because of that place but man was that great.” — misfits90

And finally, one waiter saw them all. 

“I had a section one V-day that had a marriage proposal, a 40th anniversary, and a break up all at the same time.”

“The break up was the worst. The guy brought his high class date a gift; a mini ceramic bear holding balloons. He presented it when I was at the table and she looked at it like it was a hot turd.”

“I just knew this was not going to end well. She left at the end of the meal and must have said something because he stayed at the table for another 40 minutes, head down and crying. I felt bad, he saw the celebrations going on at the other tables.” — Odd-Examination

So for those of you celebrating V-Day this year, consider a few lessons: propose in private, don’t use the day to save a relationship, and if you’re cheating, beware!

Weird Things that Made People Cut Off Relationships Right Away

Do you remember that episode of Scrubs where JD wants to break up with a woman because instead of laughing at anything she just says “that’s so funny?”

I felt that. When I watched that, I felt that. I don’t know how I could deal with be with a person who didn’t laugh.

But how petty a reason is too petty? Let’s go to Reddit to find out.

What’s the pettiest reason you’ve rejected someone? from AskReddit

Here are some folks who are looking for love in all the wrong places.

1. The constant caller

I broke up with my girlfriend in eighth grade because she called me four times a day when we didn’t have cell phones.

I got tired of talking on the phone and broke it off.

– qkathmandu

2. Who’s laughing now?

This is awful but it was her laugh. I never told her obviously because someone’s laugh is a representation of when they are happiest.

So shallow as she was pretty awesome.

– Ochsenfree

3. The beer snob

I was rejected because I didn’t like the taste of his preferred beer.

That was it, I wasn’t asking him to stop drinking it – I just didn’t personally want to drink it. We were about to order another round, he asked if I knew the one he had just had, and offered me a taste. I gladly accepted because I try to be open to tasting new things.

I just said I found it a little too hoppy for my tastes and I was happy to stick with what I was drinking. I wasn’t rude, I said it was nice, but a little hoppy for me. His face dropped, it was almost comical. He then said something along the lines that he had changed his mind and he had better get home.

That was the end of that first date. As in he literally decided he no longer wanted another round. The date was over. He had blocked me on Facebook before I walked the 100m to the bus stop.

Pretty sure I dodged a bullet there.

– Sharkoslotho

4. Bod speeling

She was texting me to tell me about her standards for men which were pretty high.

That’s fine.

But I didn’t like all the spelling mistakes she was making.

– yawnandshrug

5. Ew

Dude kissed me open mouthed with relaxed lips.

Not meant as a make-out kiss that was a quick kiss. Just opened his mouth and smashed his face into mine then pulled back. Ew

– kitcat7898

6. Scent of a woman

I could not stand her smell. No, she didn’t stink. But it was that “immune system does not match”- smell.

I just could not get turned on, and the kisses felt like paper.

Luckily, we handled this like grown-ups and are still friends.

– IlPrincipeKaoz

7. Color me surprised

Dated a guy who was color blind.

He’d argue with me about the color blue-green even if I was the only person in the relationship who could actually SEE blue-green!!

– suresher

8. Horrible taste…

Dude was super sweet, had a lot of good qualities.

He was a plumber and casually admitted to me that sometimes he will bite/clean his nails after work and taste the remnants of what he touched that day.

I could not get over that and had to move on.

– AdmiralPendeja

9. The nose knows

It wasn’t just about her nose, or the way she spoke.. but something about the combination of the two that I couldn’t get past.

All things considered, she dodged a bullet big time

– wormholetrafficjam

10. The dangerous keepsake

Went on a first date with someone that was out of my league. Couldn’t believe my luck! On our way to dinner […]

Suddenly she screamed at me to stop the car. Not pull over, stop right here right now immediately in the suicide lane of a 4 lane major road. Just before I came to a complete stop in the middle of this busy road, she opened the passenger door and tried to jump out. If a cop saw all this it probably looked like she was escaping a kidnapping.

She jumped out of the car and played Frogger across two lanes of traffic, and I sat there stunned with my passenger door hanging open into traffic. A few seconds later, she came running back with something under her arm. I couldn’t see what it was in the mirror. She had a huge smile on her face and as she climbed back into the car she squealed with delight as she showed me what it was.

A f**king hubcap.

She said it was to commemorate our first date, and that we could share custody of it. I could have it first.

That was our first and last date.

– Uncle_Baconn

11. Oh, baby

I broke things off once because of the size of her teeth.

They were tiny compared to the size of her mouth. It shouldn’t have been an issue, but it creeped me out. I don’t know why, but it was one of those things that I couldn’t ignore and gradually became the only thing I could see. Grown woman with a mouth full of baby teeth… just weird

– CarrollGrey

12. Give me a minute?

She would call me every single day like 2 minutes after I clocked out from work. I asked her several times to just give me an hour before she called. Let me get home first. I had a 45 minute drive home that was my decompression time, blast the radio and get over the days bs.

She couldn’t do it. That hour was to much to ask “but I couldn’t wait to hear your voice!” So I broke it off. My friends tell me that’s incredibly petty. I feel like she can’t respect simple boundaries and it will be a big problem later.

– TacticoolFudd

13. Fellas, is it gay to shower?

He said he never washed his butt because it would be “gay” to touch his own a**.

After that moment all I ever saw when I looked at him was poop.

He was literally a walking turd.

Never dropped someone so fast in all my life.

– Pricklypots

14. No scrubs

He didn’t have soap at his apt.

Even by the 3rd date, no soap anywhere at his place, no dish soap even.

He never smelled or anything, but just weirded me out.

– Additional_Ad1054

15. “Poor people food”

I had an ex who i asked to put a pizza in the oven, and he did. I took a bite out of it when it was done and realised he’d left the plastic film on and it’d melted into the pizza (i thought it was just weird cheese at first.) He then blamed me for making him cook “poor people food” that he didn’t know how to cook, cos his mum apparently didn’t buy that stuff.

His mum did buy that stuff cos id talked to her about food recommendations before, the reason he didn’t know is cos his mum cooks every meal for him and he never sees it before its finished ? he assumed she makes everything from scratch.

– sakura_gasaii

Well, that’s a whole lot of yikes from me.

What’s the pettiest reason you’ve rejected someone / been rejected?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Weird Things that Made People Cut Off Relationships Right Away appeared first on UberFacts.

Here Are Some of the Weirdest Breakup Texts We’ve Read

Technology sure is great. It can help connect us, heal us, entertain us, and enrich us. Also you can use text messages to break up with people, which is probably exactly what Alexander Graham Bell envisioned when he started working on the whole telephone thing.

Enter @weneedtobreakup – an Instagram account dedicated to gathering hilarious relationship texts, including a bunch that, as the name implies, seem to preceded a breakup.

From the brutal to the cute to the confusing, here are some examples of exactly how you can gain an ex via SMS.

13. Pls don’t be offended

At least they’re being honest.

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this seems more like an in person convo.

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12. A new boyfriend

Dude. Yikes.

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and that was the last time anybody ever heard from Jake

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11. K bye

Are you the sentimental type or not?

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Well, this is one way to do it

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10. Poop talk or dying?

I’d cancel those dinner reservations, bro.

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Dinner sounds like the WRONG time to discuss it

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9. Pizza for 1

Eat your feelings.

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Ice. Cold.

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

8. You’re decision

No it’s YOUR* decision and now I see why they dumped you.

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We *did* break up

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7. You can pretend though

I don’t think there’s a word for this kind of relationship.

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#fuckbuddyzone

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6. What?

I’m gonna need to see this in context, please.

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VERY LITERAL POTENTIAL BREAKUP

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5. Seriously tho

If you have to ask, you probably know.

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IS THAT WHY!?!? TELL ME!!!

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4. It’s a nice day

Maybe it’s because of your listening skills.

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MID BREAK UP!!!

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3. My birthday present

Gee, thanks?

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Breaking up via emoji is smooth

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2. April fools

It’s bad either way.

1. K bye

Shakespeare himself could not have penned a more elegant tragedy.

View this post on Instagram

SLEEP IT OFF

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Hopefully we’re all treating our breakups with a little bit more dignity than this. At the very least show them the respect of sending them the bad news over Snapchat. It’s called class.

What’s the weirdest breakup you’ve ever had?

Share the tale in the comments.

The post Here Are Some of the Weirdest Breakup Texts We’ve Read appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About Their Rejected Marriage Proposals

Some of these are pretty depressing. A rejected proposal has to be an incredibly tough thing to go through, but in the long run, most of these people are probably thankful it didn’t work out.

Take a look at these 12 stories from AskReddit.

1. Level Headed

Current girlfriend, actually. About a year ago I asked her to marry me and she gave me an incredibly painful but calculated, level-headed response. I took her out to a beautiful place where you can look at most of the Inland Empire and if there are clouds it looks like some shit from a Disney movie.Anyway, after asking, and her saying no (very gently), I remember her exact words: “I love you, but we are both just absolutely not ready.” We talked about it extensively and while I was hurt initially, she’s more than shown since then that she’s committed to me. We’ve built a better relationship since then, not that it was bad, and we could do it right now (and have talked about it) but at this point, I’m definitely not as ready as I thought I was. Table’s kind of turned, actually.

2. Cubic Zirconia

I was in the military at the time (living on ramen so I could save money) .. spent every penny I had on an engagement ring. She thought the diamond was Cubic Zirconia (aka: a cheap imitation of a diamond) and her response to me was “Do I look like a girl who wears glass?”. I haven’t said a word to her since.

I didn’t expect her response, but I should have. In hindsight, I was in my early 20s and extremely dumb.

Before people start talking about how cheap grown diamonds are (like the youngsters on reddit typically do when I mention this story) .. artificial diamonds became available to the public around 2005 or 2006 (and still took time for the price to be worth it). This event happened in late 2003 or early 2004, so no, spending less on an artificial diamond wasn’t an option.

3. No more booze

Ask my current girlfriend to marry me almost every time I am drunk. She always say’s no.

4. Cruise

5 years together

first night of a cruise, she said no

we try to enjoy the cruise anyway

week later she tells me she’s cheating on me

10/10 would not recommend

5. On second thought…

My girl asked me to marry her, and I said “no”. She wasn’t surprised or shocked, but I felt I wasn’t ready. She just said “that’s okay” and we went on dating. About a month later I asked her to marry me (super romantic — we were at the mall eating pizza and while she had a slice in her mouth I said: “So do you still want to get married or what?”) and she said “yes”.

Been married 27 years.

6. “Accidentally”

Accidentally got a no. Proposed in a restaurant to my current wife, the whole ring in the cupcake and everything. I go on one knee, and propose, completely not taking into account how bad her social anxiety can be, I just figured her books have these types of things, maybe she’d like it. She panicked, said no, and ran out.

Woman Edits People’s Toxic Exes out of Photos for a Cheap Price

Now this is a brilliant business idea!

A Twitter user who goes by the handle @hexappeal has become quite popular lately because she will perform a very important service for you for an incredibly reasonable price.

She’ll use her impressive photo editing skills to remove your terrible ex from old photos. For only $15 a pop, you never have to look at awful person ever again! She originally started out with a $10 fee, but as demand grows, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Here’s a little message about the price increase.

 

Here’s another great example of her work.

Boyfriend? What boyfriend? I don’t remember that guy. It’s like in Back to the Future when Marty McFly’s family is slowly disappearing from that snapshot. Except this time it can be permanent!

I’m sure a lot of us could do a halfway-decent Photoshop edit to try to remove those toxic folks from our memories forever, but this woman has some serious skills, so why not throw a little cash her way and she’ll do a bang-up job? Don’t be a cheapskate, okay? You’ll thank me later.

Sometimes, social media can really be used for good.

Is this a million-dollar idea, or what? Heck, it might even be a billion-dollar idea…

The post Woman Edits People’s Toxic Exes out of Photos for a Cheap Price appeared first on UberFacts.

Funny People Talking Trash About Their Exes Is All You Need to See Today

When you break up with someone or you get brutally dumped, you know what comes next…a lot of trash talking!

And these people are PISSED. So, naturally, they needed to vent on Twitter about their breakups.

Which is good news for us! Because we’re on the outside looking in!

Let’s get knee-deep in this drama!

1. That’s not really helping you.

2. Beware of the trash.

3. I thought that was you!

4. Zing!

5. Get this person off my back.

6. Hahahaha.

7. I might need more than that.

8. The big meeting.

9. Sandy wasn’t messing around.

10. Poor lady…

11. My mom is not on your side.

12. A dangerous game.

13. I know it’s this month…

14. Think about that…

15. The power and the glory.

As the saying goes, breaking up is hard to do.

Boy, that was a doozy!

The post Funny People Talking Trash About Their Exes Is All You Need to See Today appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Their Funny #ChristmasBreakupExcuses

A lot of people get dumped around the holidays for one reason or another. The pressure, the fighting, family issues. There are a lot of potential excuses for doing the deed.

These folks shared funny, punny, probably-not-real-but-who-can-say #ChristmasBreakupExcuses for all of us to enjoy. Ho Ho Ho!

1. I see what you did there.

2. I knew this one was coming.

3. Not a good thing to hear.

4. Zing!

5. That’s pretty good.

6. Oh, no!

7. It’s hard to explain.

8. Sounds likely.

9. This is legit.

10. Fun with words! Oh, and we’re done.

11. It’s Opposite Day.

12. Showed her.

13. Classy move.

14. That’s harsh.

15. This is a good one to finish with.

They’re Grinches! All of ’em, I tell ya!

Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a holiday breakup? Tell us about it in the comments.

The post People Share Their Funny #ChristmasBreakupExcuses appeared first on UberFacts.

We Can Safely Assume 13 Exes Who Are Not Friends Anymore

Relationships can be tough stuff – it’s not all honeymooning around. If you’ve ever experienced a bad breakup, you know what I’m talking about. Fighting, pettiness, non-stop arguing.

It’s no fun at all.

And I think it’s safe to assume that all of these people are no longer friends anymore. Not by a long shot.

1. Wow! That is brutal!

2. He just wants his MF’n shirt back.

3. Don’t mess with Mom.

4. At least you’re admitting it.

5. What’s a drummer supposed to do?

6. It was totally your friend’s fault.

7. Who are you again?

8. This could be it!

9. That’ll show her!

10. That’s kind of amazing.

11. No rest for you.

12. Sick burn, am I right?

13. She’s not messing around.

Isn’t being in a relationship a TOTAL BLAST?!?! Well, sometimes it is, and then sometimes you have situations where you never, EVER, want to see the person again for as long as you live.

Let’s hope those experiences are few and far between.

Share your own ex-related horror stories in the comments, por favor!

The post We Can Safely Assume 13 Exes Who Are Not Friends Anymore appeared first on UberFacts.