Category: boyfriend

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Symptoms of “Good Relationship” Syndrome

Are you happy with your significant other? Do you experience bouts of joy, trust, and unafraid intimacy? Do you have symptoms of confidence, stability, and connection?

Then you may suffer from a condition known as “good relationship.” Good Relationship is a chronic condition that can last a very long time. To know whether you have it or are at risk of contracting it, you should be on the lookout for “green flags.”

What are some little known relationship GREEN flags? from AskReddit

These “green flag” symptoms have here been enumerated by a panel of dating doctors (aka Reddit users). Have a look for yourself, and consider this a self-administered test.

1. What should we look for?

Willingness to forgive you when you make a mistake/speak in anger/etc rather than hold a grudge or try to punish you. (Doesn’t mean they won’t be still be upset of course.)

Willingness to admit fault and take responsibility when they make a mistake/speak in anger/etc and work on their own negative behaviors. Related: taking you seriously when something upsets you even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal from their perspective.

Not losing their temper when things don’t go their way. Example: do you want to be with someone who blows up when the car breaks down on a road trip and makes everyone else miserable or the person who calmly calls the repair service and tries to make the best of it?

Not making personal attacks during arguments. Focusing more on how they are feeling and fixing the problem at hand, and then reconciling afterward, rather than lashing out with a list of perceived character flaws. Example: “I feel disrespected when…” rather than “You’re such a disrespectful [expletive of choice]!”

Genuine care for you and others; a lack of self-centeredness. Being open to hear the perspectives of others, even when they don’t agree. An understanding that they are not the center of the universe, they are not always right, and there is always something to learn.

In short: emotional maturity.

– xxrachinwonderlandxx

2. Watch for reduced noise perception.

The ability to co exist in very companionable silence.

– kmm91162

3. Ask your doctor if your health is more important than a car’s.

It’s a pretty convoluted story, but I was dating a guy, had to drive his car to get him from a situation, and wrecked his car due to mechanical failure, and called my mama to come get me so we could go get him.

“Rescued” him. Then had to tell him I’d wrecked his car.

His first question: “Are you okay?”

My mom overheard. “That one’s a keeper.”

– 50EffingCabbages

4. Look out for irritability-resistant cooperation.

I remember the time I was pissed at my SO and then she accidentally spilled some sauce on her lap and I angrily helped her clean it up with my hanky

– [user deleted]

5. Do you need dietary assistance?

When you’re on a road trip and your partner feeds you fries and helps you drink your soda or whatever.

I think that’s such a nice simple gesture of kindness.

– Kekitron

6. Note any increased mobility.

Genuine support in your life goals, even if that means you two will have to go long distance for a while or will have to have conflicting work schedule or it will make your relationship harder in some way. If they love you and want you to be happy, they will be genuinely interested in what you want to do and will try to support you to do that in whatever way they can. They won’t hold you back in anyway.

This is something me and my SO have been facing something similar to this recently, he’s just graduated and is looking for a job. As much as I want him to stay close by so we don’t have to do long distance for any more time than we have to (I’m going home for the summer). But if he gets a job the other side of the country I won’t stop him and as long as I’m around I’ll help him pack up.

– averagehonesthuman

7. Quick recovery periods are frequent.

Being able to emotionally connect even after an argument

– liamfaganmusic

8. Close examination of common experiences may be necessary.

Telling the little details about your day. There’s something really precious about that, and you feel in-tune with the other person.

– archived_idli

9. Note any increased memory function.

Your partner does things for you without asking and remembers little details. For example I like eating with a fruit fork (the smaller version of the dinner fork) I actually googled that since our family calls them the little forks lol.

Anyway, my partner remembers this and will grab it for me when we’re dishing up food. Another good one is they make you feel appreciated.

– SerenityFate

10. Watch what you eat.

They respect your food issues, whether preferences, allergies, etc.

Bonus Points: They defend you to their blood relatives.

– EPresage

11. Note a strong appetite for thing-doing.

If she shows equal interest in hanging out with you. If it feels like you’re dragging them into going on a date, they’re really not into you, no matter what they may say.

Besides, let’s be honest. Wouldn’t you rather date someone who is as excited and interested in seeing you and you are in seeing them?

– Crappyfanchandelier

12. Empathetic response may be above normal parameters.

You want your partner to be happy and not the other way around. Oftentimes people want to be in a relationship to solely make themselves happy

– Some-Specie

13. Take note of reading comprehension.

You recommend them a book or movie and they actually take the time to check it out.

– -eDgAR-

14. There may be a general reduction in stress.

It feels “easy”.

Effortless. Unforced. Natural.

This is a good sign of a real connection. Compromise feels like second nature. You both breath thoughtfulness and consideration towards each other.

You figure things out, together. You see each other, respect each other, and appreciate each other.

– Manateaze

15. In summary:

I feel like there’s a lot of detailed examples that largely boil down to two things: empathy and emotional maturity.

– LegendaryGary74

If you think that you or someone you know may suffer from Good Relationship, ask your doctor how their day went, cause you got nothing to fix. Congratulations.

What would you add to this list of symptoms?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Symptoms of “Good Relationship” Syndrome appeared first on UberFacts.

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“Green Flags” That are Signs of a Good Relationship

We’re all know the term “red flags”  when it comes to relationships. The little (or huge) warning signs that we’d prefer to ignore so we can just keep things going with someone whom we know deep down isn’t good for us. And while it’s doubtlessly important to keep an eye out for such things, we shouldn’t dwell on them all the time. Let’s look at something a little happier today. Like, say, green flags:

What are some little known relationship GREEN flags? from AskReddit

This post in r/AskReddit garnered over 10,000 responses. Here are some of the highlights:

1. Love is unhurried.

You don’t feel like you’re competing for their time. You’re just loved. Even when they are busy, you don’t have to worry.

People think you need to spend all your time with someone. You don’t. But the feeling of being loved removes any jealousy or insecurities.

You just know it’s good

– mewashere1

2. You can be you.

When you like the person that you become when you’re with them.

Everyone projects a different version of themselves around different people and if you don’t like who you become when you’re with someone, it’s probably not going to be the healthiest relationship.

Your SO should bring out the best in you.

– crasher35

3. Burdens are cut in half.

If it’s a chore you both hate, you do it together.

My late husband and I both HATED folding laundry, but it had to be done. So we always did it together. Made the chore less of a pain.

– AlfalfaFloozy

4. You can love through anger.

No matter how angry you are at one another. You will still go out of your way or they go out of their way to help.

I’ll be wicked pissed, but I’ll angrily make my wife her favorite dinner even though I don’t want to eat. No matter how angry we are at one another (usually only last a short period of time) we will never sabotage or try to teach them a lesson. Many times, it ends up being both apologizing to one another.

Arguing and getting angry is just part of a relationship and unavoidable. It is how you deal with it that’s sets it apart from a healthy relationship versus a bad one.

– kamikaziboarder

5. Surprise each other.

Came home from working a 12 hour shift one night to a full dinner with my favorite dessert.

Never had a girlfriend just decide to cook me a full meal for me to come home to like that.

– trgoldfox

6. Forgiveness is key.

Able to forgive mistakes.

Early in our relationship I accidentally backed my car into my Fiance’s car while coming out of the driveway. I definitely did damage. I immediately started freaking out and crying and he just calmly got out of his car, came up to mine and asked if I was okay.

He got me to calm down and said it was fine it was just an accident. He never made me feel bad about it. He called it our little bump to my friends to minimize my embarrassment.

We laugh about it to this day. – KinickieNoodle

7. Don’t be a tease.

My ex would tease me a lot and would tease me in front of his family. He would say things like “Oh she changed her outfit 3 times because she thought you guys would judge her.” Or “She didn’t really want to come over but I convinced her.” He would be laughing and joking but these things would be the truth!

When I was going to meet my current boyfriend’s family I was really nervous! In the car I said “Please don’t tell them how nervous I am, it’s so embarrassing!” He looked at me in shock and said “I’m on YOUR side! Why would I tell them that?” And it was like a freaking lightbulb! Love this guy ?

– chapter2at30

8. Nobody’s perfect.

When your SO takes criticism from you seriously without immediately trying to turn it back on you.

If the converse is also true, you two stand a great chance of going the distance.

– SqueakyCleanNoseDown

9. Have a good thing to say.

Non-sexual compliments

– ipakookapi

10. Remember the best medicine.

Laughter.

And also: I’ve been with my partner for 40 years (this month!) and I still smile when I see him across a room.

He still makes me laugh and my heart soars when I think of him.

– the_real_grinningdog

11. Love is in the details.

Listening to you and remembering the things you’ve said.

Back when me and my boyfriend started dating, he’d sometimes bring up things that I’ve said before (ex: my favorite foods, candies, etc.).

Made me super happy and could tell he genuinely cared.

– isahellarad

12. Talk to each other.

They communicate if they will be delayed and how long they will be.

Talk things through BEFORE it becomes a screaming match. Not after.

Asks about boundaries/traumas and doesn’t judge you for them, but instead respects them.

– KhajitCaravan

13. Stay in touch.

Calling/texting just to see how you’re doing, even if they don’t need anything.

– Frankfertt

14. Take it point by point.

• honesty
• genuine interest in each other’s hobbies (don’t have to do them, but at least support it)
• strong communication
• you feel like you’re hanging out with your best friend…except you wanna smash.

– Iamdaisylion

15. And of course, the ultimate test of character:

Putting the shopping cart back

– bendedsleaze

We should remember to recognize and celebrate the good in our lives and the good in each other. It’s what makes this whole crazy thing worthwhile!

What are some other things you would add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.

The post “Green Flags” That are Signs of a Good Relationship appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Biggest Red Flags About Women They Ignored

Since the 16th century red flags have been used as an indication of danger – a warning that something bad is about to go down.

I live in Chicago just a couple of blocks from the beaches of Lake Michigan, and when I see a red flag on one of my walks, I know that means “Stay away from the water, it’s not gonna go well for you.”

Sometimes the signals we encounter in our relationships are just about as clear – and yet we might be tempted to just keep swimming anyway. Take for instance the thousands of stories that came flooding in based on this prompt from silver_foks on r/AskReddit:

What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ignored because the sex was good? from AskReddit

Here’s what just a few of the top comments had to say about red flags they’d encountered with women in particular. (A lot of this is NSFW.)

1. Fourth time’s the charm?

She was married and divorced 3 times by 27.

– Screamin_STEMI

2. You’re not always the protagonist of the story.

Probably the plethora of empty wine bottles around the apartment, and the knowledge that she’d just gotten out of a long term relationship.

Somehow it never dawned on me that I was the rebound guy.

– the5thbeagle

3. It doesn’t get much more direct…

She basically told me she might cheat on me if she had the opportunity with her ex.

It was my first relationship and I was as stupid as can be.

– Genocide_Fan

4. You can read it loud and clear.

We were in a hotel and she would just keep screaming at the top of her lungs.

I kept telling her to quiet down, but instead that only turned her on more.

Only continued because she was my girlfriend at the time and it was pretty good sex for me as well.

– StaticSh0T

5. I need a diagram for this one, please.

She was my ex-wife’s, husband’s ex-wife…

– mroozienelson

6. If they’ll cheat with you…

Had an affair with a married woman, she left her husband for me, married me, then cheated on me.

If that isn’t karma idk what is.

– G4V_Zero

7. Simple things can be very telling.

She got annoyed because I told her about a coworker who felt bad about cheating on her bf.

She said “just keep sh*t on the DL… Nobody has to know if you keep your f*cking mouth shut.”

Immediately knew someone else was deep in her guts.

– ItsJustRedditRelax

8. Narcissism?

She stared at herself in the mirror during sex.

Fully moaning, and cumming, but would never break eye contact with herself,

– ask-me-about-my-toe

9. After 5 whole months, my dude?

She cried when I just wanted to make out after our first date. She said I wasn’t serious if I didn’t want to f*ck her.

She was 46. And hot as f*ck. I was 31. Cougar time!

So I f*cked her. And the sex was great, but she was f*cking crazy and I bailed after about 5 months.

– Birdamus

10. What can we say but yikes…

She called me the n word all the time. We are not black.

– Arctic_Snowfox

11. Bragging is never a good sign.

All of the lying and bragging about how good she was at it, manipulations, caught her in a lie then caught her cheating and I still didn’t wanna let go.

That sh*t hurt deep for a long time.

– TerminalCrowbar

12. Old problems require old solutions.

I used to have a subscription to Playboy before I met this girlfriend and I’d leave them on top of the toilet for reading material

(before cell phones)

One day after getting situated on the throne I opened an issue and discovered my sweetie had taken a permanent marker…

and covered all the naughty bits on EVERY nude picture (even the tiny ads in the back)

It must of taken her hours to do all the issues

– smilingonion

13. When does a joke stop being a joke?

She was a racist f*ck.

Always said she was joking but I later found out she was entirely serious.

– kalanawi

14. Let me count the ways…

Oh god, so much.

Obsessiveness, narcissism, codependency, overt stupidity, laziness, lack of ambition, all kinds of stuff.

– inomenata

15. And then there’s this simple entry:

She kept f*cking my friends

– mochalatteicecream

Remember to listen to your common sense. And let that voice be louder than…yanno…others.

Do you have a story like this?

Share it with us in the comments.

The post People Share the Biggest Red Flags About Women They Ignored appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Biggest Red Flags They Ignored from Men

I’ve never been one to get worried over a flag. Unless that flag is pure red, and it turns out I should have paid way more attention to it. Just like in these stories from the r/AskReddit thread that kicked off with the question:

What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ignored because the sex was good? from AskReddit

There were thousands of responses about people of all stripes and situations. Here are a few tales about men in particular. As you can imagine, some of these stories are disturbing and/or NSFW. Reader discretion advised.

1. Moving on up?

was hooking up/very casually dating a guy (an idiot) I’d met on tinder. i had a cat at the time, and was leaving for a long weekend so asked him to feed the cat.

i came home and he had moved in to my apartment. like fully moved in. his clothes in the closet, his sheets on my bed, he’d brought furniture from his parents house, and he put his high school hockey trophys on display in the kitchen (we were 26 and 27).

i regret to say it lasted several months, but it did not end well. what a d*ck, pun very much intended.

– allblackeverythng

2. Solve for ex.

His “ex” kept showing up at his place.

Come to find out months later, they were still together and just fighting.

And I was the unwitting other woman. :

– femmemalin

3. You’re no superman.

His savior complex with everyone around us, when we could barley manage.

– 7129527190

4. Sometimes it’s literally trash.

He would let his garbage overflow and never take it outside. His kitchen was gross. So much drug abuse, he was a plug.

Dated again, within a week he was sending me pictures of him slitting his wrists and saying he could get anybody killed.

I ran like hell.

– Readkt92

5. Smoking out the truth.

He told me he didn’t smoke cigarettes when we met and then a week later he did because “his friend started up again and needed emotional support because he didn’t want to smoke alone” (????)

He also told straight-up told me that if this one friend didn’t like me than I wasn’t “allowed” to be his girlfriend. It red-flagged a bit in my mind because I was like what’s up with this control-freak friend and why do you obey him?

And then I just ignored it for 6 months. His friend would almost never speak directly to me but I was always getting, “friend says you don’t have to hang around if you’re not going to play beer pong for 3 hours for the 4th time this week,” or “we don’t have enough controllers for the Wii U, so if you want to play, friend says you have to buy your own controller because we can’t share,” “friend says that you and I can’t hang out today because he’s upset about something.” etc.

…anyway, whatever the deal was with this friend the smoking thing was definitely in part an excuse, because it quickly became clear (another red flag that I ignored) that he was an addict. He literally needed to smoke something (either cigarettes or weed resin, but usually weed.) like every 45 minutes to an hour and we couldn’t go anywhere because he’d start getting cranky. Not like he ever had money to go anywhere because he had like a dragon’s horde of weed to maintain.

Anyway, he ghosted me, because his friend told him to, I’m sure. I was devastated lol

– noexplanation2069

6. Let’s retake anatomy 101.

He legitimately believed his butthole was self-lubricating…

– WolfNThorn

7. Rick & Morty has the worst fanbase.

His tattoo of an anthropomorphic pickle smoking a joint.

Think Towelie…but a pickle.

– hammetar

8. Abuse isn’t cute.

He liked to put me down.

He’d tell me I was stupid or that I didnt matter, in a tone that walked a fine line between joking and laughing with me and not joking at laughing at me.

I should have left him sooner but DAMN, could he work a c*ck

– Appstmntnr

9.

He would get a boner when I would cry..

– m_olive14

10. That must have been killer good.

I jokingly told him only serial killers and married men don’t have a Facebook and that’s when he told me he was wanted for murder in the U.K.

So I fucked him one last night and stopped answering his calls.

– Ikonic1904

11. Sometimes the red flag also has a little white and blue.

The giant Confederate flag on the wall

– nathz7754

12. Old fashioned doesn’t mean good.

Was really pro misogyny. He wanted a girl to save herself for him.

Didn’t want to use condom, but I forced him.

But the sex was good and he was generous with me.

– crystalclearbuffon

13. Watch out for that ego.

The fact he had a poster of himself blown up to fit his wall In his room

– ObjectiveTwo5

14. A rose by any other name would still have thorns.

He lied about his name. We were just casually seeing each other (FWB) so I never thought to question things.

Finally found out about 6 months in by looking at his license.

Turns out he lied because he didnt trust having his personal information on the internet (tinder) and never thought to correct it after we started seeing each other. Super weird. I stuck around for a while because no one likes a dry spell but it wasn’t as good after that for some reason.

– clamber333

15. Run, run, run, run!

He was 34 and I was 22. He never stopped talking about his best friend who was female and 21.

One night he got really drunk told me he was single (we had been dating 3 months) and he was mad his best friend told him she loved him but wouldn’t break up with her boyfriend.

He also once mentioned about how her doing a cartwheel when she was 17 turned his dick into “jelly” I don’t even know what that means.

– SanjiLove

What can we say but yikes? Glad to know that all of these people got out of those situations. Remember, don’t let a good time cause you a whole bunch of bad ones. Know the signs. Only you can prevent dumpster fires.

Do you have a story like this?

Share it with us in the comments.

The post People Share the Biggest Red Flags They Ignored from Men appeared first on UberFacts.

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Is Sex With People You Don’t Live With Now Illegal in the United Kingdom?

Obviously, 2020 has been an absolutely wild ride so far.

Yet, even in a year when headlines routinely outshine the most bizarre imaginations, some things still manage to be surprising. Such as the various news outlets this month which have been reporting that sex is now largely illegal in the UK. Or, more specifically, sex with people you don’t already live with. So what’s going on here?

Let’s take a closer look.

Photo Credit: iStock

The motivation

When you hear about a law like this, your mind might leap to antiquated, prudish, Puritanical motives surrounding sexuality, like how some U.S. states still technically have statues outlawing “sodomy.”

But that’s not what we’re looking at here.

In fact, the sex aspect is sort of incidental; collateral damage taken as a part of trying to repair a larger problem.

Photo Credit: iStock

It’s about the virus

Like pretty much the entire world, the UK has implemented lockdown restrictions this year to slow the spread of disease.

The things that are officially off limits by law (for now) are indoor gatherings, which, as Mashable reports, are defined as:

“when two or more people are present together in the same place in order to engage in any form of social interaction with each other, or to undertake any other activity with each other.”

Obviously, if you can’t go over to someone’s house to hang out, you can’t go over to have sex. At least, not without risking a fine.

Photo Credit: iStock

Is this new?

Sort of.

The main difference with the legislation that went into effect at the start of June is that before, the “guest” would be in trouble, but now, both/all parties involved could face consequences.

The main gist of the “stay the hell at home” guidelines really haven’t changed much, and in fact have generally loosened as the year has gone on.

Is there any way around this?

There are, of course, various exceptions to the lockdown rules, though certainly none of them are designed to give you an excuse to go get your freak on.

Social gatherings are still allowed in outdoor spaces, though outdoor/public sex is and always has been illegal and would likely get you into a whole lot more trouble than a simple lockdown violation, so no loophole there either.

Photo Credit: iStock

What happens to people who break this law?

Not much.

The default fine is £100 (about $123), which for most people is enough to sting but not enough to mess up your life. As with everywhere else, authorities in the UK really do not have the interest in nor the resources for running around punishing every last lockdown violation; the point of the law is get enough people to behave responsibly so that the virus can remain at least relatively under control.

For some, that may mean some more lonely nights.

What do you think of all this?

Let us know in the comments.

The post Is Sex With People You Don’t Live With Now Illegal in the United Kingdom? appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Their Really Bad “Nice Guy” Dating Stories

“Nice guy” is a very loaded phrase. As in, “girls don’t like nice guys like me!!” It’s a pretty juvenile perspective that seems predicated on the idea that if a man does enough nice things for a woman, she owes him some kind of affection. It’s a huge red flag most would run away from, and for good reason, as demonstrated by this huge Reddit thread. The whole thing kicked off with user targetgoldengoose taking to r/AskReddit to say:

Has anyone ever given a "nice guy" a chance after they’ve thrown a tantrum because you didn’t let them treat you like a queen? And if you did, how did it work out? from AskReddit

Thousands of responses came in. Spoiler alert: they were not great.

1. There’s so much fragility in these stories.

I finally allowed him to take me on a date to breakfast. Figured midday would be ideal to meet up in public.

I offended him immediately when I spoke to the waitress. I said, “We have two” when she asked how many we had. He insisted that she was asking him, not me, and I emasculated him in public. I laughed it off as a joke. I grew up with all brothers. Surely, he was trying to be funny.

We sat down. The waitress asked for our order. I gave her mine. He groaned and asked her to come back in a second. He told me proper protocol was for me to discuss what I wanted to eat with him, allow him to make the decision, and he was supposed to relay that to the waitress – not me!

I told him he was crazy and left. Blocked his number. Ghosted completely.

– AndThenThereIsJess

2. If your personality is based on knocking others down, you’re probably not doing great.

My wife did while she was in college.

He had constant low self esteem which annoyed her, he also loved making fun of other people. Sounds like he was just a toxic guy.

When she broke up with him he wrote a suicide note naming her as the reason and showed up on campus with a gun.

Fortunately nothing happened. He got some therapy and wasn’t allowed back at the school.

– slin25

3. The ego is off the charts.

A girlfriend told me that when she was still new to dating, she gave a nice guy a shot. They were in different states and after weeks of “owing him” a sexy picture or video she agreed to FaceTime him with a wink wink agreement that things might get steamy.

The day comes and this 300lb unwashed dude called her (190lb, 5’6) “nice, but bigger than he liked” and suggested she start working out. He then pushed for an in-person visit near him so that he could show her the wonders of carnal things.

She ghosted him shortly after that.

– milkeymikey

4. Giving endless gifts can be a bit much.

My sister did… She is a hairstylist and one of her clients was very aggressive about asking her out. He repeatedly bought flowers, concert tickets, and other gifts which he brought to her at work, and she said no each time because he seemed a little off.

He got in a car accident and was really badly injured, and she felt sorry for him so she went out with him finally. They dated a few months before breaking up, I don’t know the exact reason why. But after that he started stalking her.

It’s been over 5 years since then and he is still keeping tabs on her. She’s reported him to the police multiple times, has a restraining order, and has blocked him on FB/everywhere else, but every few months he finds a way to contact her.

So if you get weird vibes from someone, don’t give them a chance or you might end up with a lifelong stalker like my sister has.

– Isaac_The_Khajiit

5. Careful of those who always play the victim.

I dated one for 2 years. He seemed nice and was happy when I first started dating him cause girls “didn’t give him a chance due to his looks’. (He was super nerdy, I was 16 and he was 19.) He was very needy and always demanded we do what he wanted. I missed out on a lot of things, including missing out going to see Phantom of the Opera with his mom, because he didn’t want to go and would get sick at the last minute.

When I lost my virginity to him, he said I basically raped him because he didn’t realize he wasn’t ready for something like that till after we had sex. About a year and a half into our relationship he got religious. So then, whenever we had sex, he would want is to pray for forgiveness afterwards. But if I refused sex, I was a cold bitch.

– preyingmantid

6. One recurring element in these stories is how controlling these guys are.

Yes. The tantrums continued throughout the relationship. He was very controlling. If I was out with friends he would be upset that I was having fun without him.

He ended up cheating on me and dumping me only to beg me back. He semi staked me for a couple of years.

Had an online blog about what I did each day and tried to befriend my exes

– Lrad5007

7. Reverence becomes control when you take away someone’s agency.

I was once in a similar situation. I dated a sweet guy. But honestly, “sweet” is subjective. He was a gentleman, but he INSISTED on ALWAYS opening the car door for me (he literally would not let me touch the car handle, like at all), letting me eat first ALWAYS (instead of both at the same time cause honestly it’s not a biggie for me), commented that I should never cut my hair, etc…

I felt like I was with a man from the 50s. It was draining to be treated “like a queen” instead of an equal. Other than that, he was okay.

Anyways, when I broke up with him, I felt like he didn’t want to let me go. Like I had to explain over and over again that I wasn’t feeling it and that he deserved someone that would feel the same way about him.

He hung up the phone with, “you don’t know what you missed out on.”

… Mmmm… Okay, I guess…

– 100_night_sky_

8. Hopefully, we learn these lessons early.

Way too many times in college. I had guys in the “friend zone” who I decided to give a chance because I was stupid and I felt sorry for them

I last straw was when a guy took me shopping. I said “yes” in lonely desperation on a Friday night, this was a Saturday afternoon.

After every store I went into he would either criticize me for not wanting him to buy me anything (I’m not much of a shopper anyways) or ask me for sex because he bought me a used videogame I wanted.

Never again. There’s a good reason incels are incels

– MinMaxMarissa

9. Breaking relationships down to a transaction is dangerous.

Yes. It worked out that he also felt entitled to other things and felt like “no” wasn’t an acceptable answer for things like sex when he “did so much for me.”

– ApricityAmends

10. “Chivalry” is often used as a mask for being a chauvinist.

I was celebrating my last day in a city I had lived in for four years and had invited a bunch of friends out for a night on the town.

And one of these “friends” was a self proclaimed chauvinist who insisted to walk on the outside of the sidewalk. So I thought it was uncomfortable that he kept on switching to the outside as I didn’t feel I wanted that treatment. There are no horse carriages that splash shit on people anymore, I don’t need a walking feces shield, thanks. But he basically ignored my lack of comfort with that and continued to explain that it’s his duty to do that.

He ended up eventually full out yelling at me and I cried and left. That was my own night to hang with people before departing.

– queendorkus

11. Here’s a gender-reversed version of the story.

I had an experience with a ‘nice girl.’ Red flags everywhere, but I have it a shot. Extremely bad situation. It began with her moving into my place without asking within the first 2 weeks, thinking it would be a ‘surprise that I would/should love.’

She didn’t work, but expected me to make all the money AND also do every single chore since it was “my apartment.” It was only “our apartment” when she wanted to decorate something her way or change my stuff around. She had tantrums about everything possible, and if nothing was wrong she’d make something up to lose her mind about.

She also hit me with the “why don’t more guys just want someone who will love them unconditionally?” The irony of that escaped her. Men should want crazy girls because they’re crazy because they love you.

Yeah, fuck that.

– StolenCamaro

12. It sucks to feel like you’re trapped in these things.

I dated a nice guy for 7 months after he cried and begged. He was a ‘friend’ and he made me laugh so I figured ‘why not’.

It was the longest 7 months of my life. He didn’t let me have friends. He didn’t want me to get a job (he said I’d fuck the customers), he cried all the time (especially when he suspected that I loved my sisters more than him). He ended up cheating on me by writing love songs/poems to girls online. I was so happy he did that cause I thought I had to wait until ‘he did something’ to warrant breaking up. Even when I confronted him, he insisted we just go on a break.

Yeah that was the fucking worst

– ToastedMaple

13. Insecurity can get toxic real quick.

Constantly got accused of cheating because I would fall asleep talking to him (you didn’t fall asleep, you went to a party and fucked around).

Let’s see- got called names, etc. And guilt-tripped into staying with him until I finally put my foot down. Stopped staying at his house and fastened to his hip.

And one of my other ex’s always played “nice guy” until I responded with ‘I don’t know’ when he asked when we could hang out and then he replied with “You are ugly anyway”.

Had a good laugh out of that one

– ezmayalice

14. Overall, the posts were not encouraging.

Checks for stories where it worked out well.

*crickets***

– christophersonne

15. But hopefully, people can learn, and change.

I was the ‘nice guy’ who got turned down for a second date. I said the same bullshit that any ‘nice guy’ says when that happens, ie) all women are the same, say they want nice guys, only date assholes, etc.

She said ‘Well, fine, let’s have that second date but doesn’t it make you feel weird to have to convince someone to date you? Don’t you want someone who wants to be with you?’

Me: …

Changed absolutely everything about dating for me.

– WackyNephews

If you find yourself cringing from recognizing any of the behaviors described in this story as the sort of thing you’ve done, don’t give up. Recognize, evolve. Don’t be that “nice” guy.

Have you had experiences with this sort of thing?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post People Share Their Really Bad “Nice Guy” Dating Stories appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Their Really Bad “Nice Guy” Dating Stories

“Nice guy” is a very loaded phrase. As in, “girls don’t like nice guys like me!!” It’s a pretty juvenile perspective that seems predicated on the idea that if a man does enough nice things for a woman, she owes him some kind of affection. It’s a huge red flag most would run away from, and for good reason, as demonstrated by this huge Reddit thread. The whole thing kicked off with user targetgoldengoose taking to r/AskReddit to say:

Has anyone ever given a "nice guy" a chance after they’ve thrown a tantrum because you didn’t let them treat you like a queen? And if you did, how did it work out? from AskReddit

Thousands of responses came in. Spoiler alert: they were not great.

1. There’s so much fragility in these stories.

I finally allowed him to take me on a date to breakfast. Figured midday would be ideal to meet up in public.

I offended him immediately when I spoke to the waitress. I said, “We have two” when she asked how many we had. He insisted that she was asking him, not me, and I emasculated him in public. I laughed it off as a joke. I grew up with all brothers. Surely, he was trying to be funny.

We sat down. The waitress asked for our order. I gave her mine. He groaned and asked her to come back in a second. He told me proper protocol was for me to discuss what I wanted to eat with him, allow him to make the decision, and he was supposed to relay that to the waitress – not me!

I told him he was crazy and left. Blocked his number. Ghosted completely.

– AndThenThereIsJess

2. If your personality is based on knocking others down, you’re probably not doing great.

My wife did while she was in college.

He had constant low self esteem which annoyed her, he also loved making fun of other people. Sounds like he was just a toxic guy.

When she broke up with him he wrote a suicide note naming her as the reason and showed up on campus with a gun.

Fortunately nothing happened. He got some therapy and wasn’t allowed back at the school.

– slin25

3. The ego is off the charts.

A girlfriend told me that when she was still new to dating, she gave a nice guy a shot. They were in different states and after weeks of “owing him” a sexy picture or video she agreed to FaceTime him with a wink wink agreement that things might get steamy.

The day comes and this 300lb unwashed dude called her (190lb, 5’6) “nice, but bigger than he liked” and suggested she start working out. He then pushed for an in-person visit near him so that he could show her the wonders of carnal things.

She ghosted him shortly after that.

– milkeymikey

4. Giving endless gifts can be a bit much.

My sister did… She is a hairstylist and one of her clients was very aggressive about asking her out. He repeatedly bought flowers, concert tickets, and other gifts which he brought to her at work, and she said no each time because he seemed a little off.

He got in a car accident and was really badly injured, and she felt sorry for him so she went out with him finally. They dated a few months before breaking up, I don’t know the exact reason why. But after that he started stalking her.

It’s been over 5 years since then and he is still keeping tabs on her. She’s reported him to the police multiple times, has a restraining order, and has blocked him on FB/everywhere else, but every few months he finds a way to contact her.

So if you get weird vibes from someone, don’t give them a chance or you might end up with a lifelong stalker like my sister has.

– Isaac_The_Khajiit

5. Careful of those who always play the victim.

I dated one for 2 years. He seemed nice and was happy when I first started dating him cause girls “didn’t give him a chance due to his looks’. (He was super nerdy, I was 16 and he was 19.) He was very needy and always demanded we do what he wanted. I missed out on a lot of things, including missing out going to see Phantom of the Opera with his mom, because he didn’t want to go and would get sick at the last minute.

When I lost my virginity to him, he said I basically raped him because he didn’t realize he wasn’t ready for something like that till after we had sex. About a year and a half into our relationship he got religious. So then, whenever we had sex, he would want is to pray for forgiveness afterwards. But if I refused sex, I was a cold bitch.

– preyingmantid

6. One recurring element in these stories is how controlling these guys are.

Yes. The tantrums continued throughout the relationship. He was very controlling. If I was out with friends he would be upset that I was having fun without him.

He ended up cheating on me and dumping me only to beg me back. He semi staked me for a couple of years.

Had an online blog about what I did each day and tried to befriend my exes

– Lrad5007

7. Reverence becomes control when you take away someone’s agency.

I was once in a similar situation. I dated a sweet guy. But honestly, “sweet” is subjective. He was a gentleman, but he INSISTED on ALWAYS opening the car door for me (he literally would not let me touch the car handle, like at all), letting me eat first ALWAYS (instead of both at the same time cause honestly it’s not a biggie for me), commented that I should never cut my hair, etc…

I felt like I was with a man from the 50s. It was draining to be treated “like a queen” instead of an equal. Other than that, he was okay.

Anyways, when I broke up with him, I felt like he didn’t want to let me go. Like I had to explain over and over again that I wasn’t feeling it and that he deserved someone that would feel the same way about him.

He hung up the phone with, “you don’t know what you missed out on.”

… Mmmm… Okay, I guess…

– 100_night_sky_

8. Hopefully, we learn these lessons early.

Way too many times in college. I had guys in the “friend zone” who I decided to give a chance because I was stupid and I felt sorry for them

I last straw was when a guy took me shopping. I said “yes” in lonely desperation on a Friday night, this was a Saturday afternoon.

After every store I went into he would either criticize me for not wanting him to buy me anything (I’m not much of a shopper anyways) or ask me for sex because he bought me a used videogame I wanted.

Never again. There’s a good reason incels are incels

– MinMaxMarissa

9. Breaking relationships down to a transaction is dangerous.

Yes. It worked out that he also felt entitled to other things and felt like “no” wasn’t an acceptable answer for things like sex when he “did so much for me.”

– ApricityAmends

10. “Chivalry” is often used as a mask for being a chauvinist.

I was celebrating my last day in a city I had lived in for four years and had invited a bunch of friends out for a night on the town.

And one of these “friends” was a self proclaimed chauvinist who insisted to walk on the outside of the sidewalk. So I thought it was uncomfortable that he kept on switching to the outside as I didn’t feel I wanted that treatment. There are no horse carriages that splash shit on people anymore, I don’t need a walking feces shield, thanks. But he basically ignored my lack of comfort with that and continued to explain that it’s his duty to do that.

He ended up eventually full out yelling at me and I cried and left. That was my own night to hang with people before departing.

– queendorkus

11. Here’s a gender-reversed version of the story.

I had an experience with a ‘nice girl.’ Red flags everywhere, but I have it a shot. Extremely bad situation. It began with her moving into my place without asking within the first 2 weeks, thinking it would be a ‘surprise that I would/should love.’

She didn’t work, but expected me to make all the money AND also do every single chore since it was “my apartment.” It was only “our apartment” when she wanted to decorate something her way or change my stuff around. She had tantrums about everything possible, and if nothing was wrong she’d make something up to lose her mind about.

She also hit me with the “why don’t more guys just want someone who will love them unconditionally?” The irony of that escaped her. Men should want crazy girls because they’re crazy because they love you.

Yeah, fuck that.

– StolenCamaro

12. It sucks to feel like you’re trapped in these things.

I dated a nice guy for 7 months after he cried and begged. He was a ‘friend’ and he made me laugh so I figured ‘why not’.

It was the longest 7 months of my life. He didn’t let me have friends. He didn’t want me to get a job (he said I’d fuck the customers), he cried all the time (especially when he suspected that I loved my sisters more than him). He ended up cheating on me by writing love songs/poems to girls online. I was so happy he did that cause I thought I had to wait until ‘he did something’ to warrant breaking up. Even when I confronted him, he insisted we just go on a break.

Yeah that was the fucking worst

– ToastedMaple

13. Insecurity can get toxic real quick.

Constantly got accused of cheating because I would fall asleep talking to him (you didn’t fall asleep, you went to a party and fucked around).

Let’s see- got called names, etc. And guilt-tripped into staying with him until I finally put my foot down. Stopped staying at his house and fastened to his hip.

And one of my other ex’s always played “nice guy” until I responded with ‘I don’t know’ when he asked when we could hang out and then he replied with “You are ugly anyway”.

Had a good laugh out of that one

– ezmayalice

14. Overall, the posts were not encouraging.

Checks for stories where it worked out well.

*crickets***

– christophersonne

15. But hopefully, people can learn, and change.

I was the ‘nice guy’ who got turned down for a second date. I said the same bullshit that any ‘nice guy’ says when that happens, ie) all women are the same, say they want nice guys, only date assholes, etc.

She said ‘Well, fine, let’s have that second date but doesn’t it make you feel weird to have to convince someone to date you? Don’t you want someone who wants to be with you?’

Me: …

Changed absolutely everything about dating for me.

– WackyNephews

If you find yourself cringing from recognizing any of the behaviors described in this story as the sort of thing you’ve done, don’t give up. Recognize, evolve. Don’t be that “nice” guy.

Have you had experiences with this sort of thing?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post People Share Their Really Bad “Nice Guy” Dating Stories appeared first on UberFacts.

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Here Are Some of the Weirdest Breakup Texts We’ve Read

Technology sure is great. It can help connect us, heal us, entertain us, and enrich us. Also you can use text messages to break up with people, which is probably exactly what Alexander Graham Bell envisioned when he started working on the whole telephone thing.

Enter @weneedtobreakup – an Instagram account dedicated to gathering hilarious relationship texts, including a bunch that, as the name implies, seem to preceded a breakup.

From the brutal to the cute to the confusing, here are some examples of exactly how you can gain an ex via SMS.

13. Pls don’t be offended

At least they’re being honest.

View this post on Instagram

this seems more like an in person convo.

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

12. A new boyfriend

Dude. Yikes.

View this post on Instagram

and that was the last time anybody ever heard from Jake

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

11. K bye

Are you the sentimental type or not?

View this post on Instagram

Well, this is one way to do it

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

10. Poop talk or dying?

I’d cancel those dinner reservations, bro.

View this post on Instagram

Dinner sounds like the WRONG time to discuss it

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

9. Pizza for 1

Eat your feelings.

View this post on Instagram

Ice. Cold.

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

8. You’re decision

No it’s YOUR* decision and now I see why they dumped you.

View this post on Instagram

We *did* break up

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

7. You can pretend though

I don’t think there’s a word for this kind of relationship.

View this post on Instagram

#fuckbuddyzone

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

6. What?

I’m gonna need to see this in context, please.

View this post on Instagram

VERY LITERAL POTENTIAL BREAKUP

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

5. Seriously tho

If you have to ask, you probably know.

View this post on Instagram

IS THAT WHY!?!? TELL ME!!!

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

4. It’s a nice day

Maybe it’s because of your listening skills.

View this post on Instagram

MID BREAK UP!!!

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

3. My birthday present

Gee, thanks?

View this post on Instagram

Breaking up via emoji is smooth

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

2. April fools

It’s bad either way.

1. K bye

Shakespeare himself could not have penned a more elegant tragedy.

View this post on Instagram

SLEEP IT OFF

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Hopefully we’re all treating our breakups with a little bit more dignity than this. At the very least show them the respect of sending them the bad news over Snapchat. It’s called class.

What’s the weirdest breakup you’ve ever had?

Share the tale in the comments.

The post Here Are Some of the Weirdest Breakup Texts We’ve Read appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Very Honest Texts about Couples

Good relationships are built on honesty. I’m not sure if that means the kind of radical, no-holds-barred honesty found in the posts collected by @weshouldbreakup on Instagram, but if so, maybe these screenshots are from the healthiest couples ever? I hope? I doubt?

Either way they’re pretty funny. Have a look at a few examples of romantic partners being oddly up front with each other in the way only a long-term relationship can really produce. Fair warning: a weirdly high number of them are about poop, for some reason.

15. Romance isn’t dead

Feelings aren’t the only thing I’m holding in.

View this post on Instagram

ROMANCE IS ALIVE

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

14. Honestly erotic

Frank sex negotiations get me so hot and bothered.

View this post on Instagram

Romance is alive and well

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

13. Bath bomb

I both do and do not want to know the context of this one.

View this post on Instagram

Why

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

12. Formulaic love story

You can’t argue with math.

View this post on Instagram

Is this real science. Vote yes or no

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

11. Talk dirty to me

Let’s taco bout sex, baby.

View this post on Instagram

?????

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

10. My number 2 priority

Wait so…what exactly happened here?

View this post on Instagram

You’re my #2

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

9. A matter of perspective

Through a mirror darkly.

8. Early riser

We’re off schedule.

View this post on Instagram

some people are morning people. some people are not

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

7. A bright idea

I can’t tell if this is cute or scary.

6. TP-cal

Repeal and replace.

View this post on Instagram

This is grounds for divorce

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

5. Peanut butter jealous time

There are some lines you just don’t cross.

4. Conflicting visions

Well that took a turn.

View this post on Instagram

this is going well

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

3. A quiet place

You’re*, dammit.

View this post on Instagram

HOW ABOUT HULU AND SHUT THE FUCK UP

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

2. Chicks’n’sandwich

You’ll come crawling back once Sunday rolls around.

View this post on Instagram

Chick-Fil-Bae

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

1. Big sad energy

When you just know each other so well.

View this post on Instagram

Honesty is key

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

It’s sort of heartwarming? I guess? In a funny way. Better to be able to honestly say weird things to each other than have to hide who you are. So, they’ve got that going for them. Which is nice.

What’s the funniest exchange you’ve had with your partner lately?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post 15 Very Honest Texts about Couples appeared first on UberFacts.

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Fascinating Tweets About Some Awful Dates

Raise your hand if you think dating is a really good time. I can’t actually see any of you, of course, but I’m going to go ahead and assume there no hands in the air right now. Dating is generally thought of a necessary evil, the sort of thing you hope turns out well but might be awful. The only upside to the awful is that it can result in a lot of great stories.

Twitter user @millercycle posed the following prompt to the internet at large:

There were hundreds of replies, and most of them were fascinating, cringy gold. Enjoy this selection of examples.

14. Moving on

Please don’t use a date as a therapy session.

13. Prison and a movie

This is the grossest show and tell I’ve ever heard of.

12. Insult to injury

This is called “negging” and it’s a pickup artist technique employed by douchebags. Never be this guy.

11. A taxing experience

I have so many followup questions for this one.

10. Extortion

Boy oh boy can money make people terrible.

9. Candid camera

Look, no kink-shaming but you need CONSENT from EVERYBODY.

8. The young and the restless

This is…concerning.

7. Literally Hitler

How is this even possible?

6. Drugs not hugs

Everybody knows you don’t do this ’till the third date.

5. B I T E

I really REALLY need to hear your worst story now.

4. Nec-romance

Weirdest. 3 way. Ever.

3. Distance

Welp. She’s a free spirit, we can give her that.

2. Stranded

As someone who recently visited Detroit, this is a fate worse than death.

1. Pickpocket

Welp. Run, I guess?

These stories are truly helping me feel better about the fact that I haven’t had a date in a while. I think I’ll just revisit them every time I need that boost. Thanks for validating my loneliness yet again, internet!

What was your worst date?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Fascinating Tweets About Some Awful Dates appeared first on UberFacts.