Bartenders Discuss the Weirdest Things They’ve Seen on the Job

I worked as a bar back for a little while, and during my short tenure there, I saw some total weirdos doing weird stuff.

Hey, booze makes folks get crazy and it makes people who were already crazy EVEN CRAZIER.

You ready to get weird?

People who work as bartenders shared their stories of weirdness on AskReddit.

Let’s take a look.

1. I’ll take that to go!

“Worked a bar right downtown on a very main street in a very open and visible setting.

Middle aged wealthy looking guy comes in, orders a pint.

No problems.

Gets the pint, walks back out the door, probably gonna smoke / hang out outside.

Whatever.

Gets back into his car and immediately pulls it and drives off.

He did it so fast and with such confidence like it was a f**king Big Mac and we were McDonald’s. Full pint in a glass, it was hilarious and weird.”

2. A great combo.

“A lady came in and very casually asked for a pack of Camel Crush and a glass of milk.

I asked her if she wanted ice in it as it was a hot Texas summer day.

She said no then went out to the patio to smoke her cigs and drink her milk.”

3. Really bad.

“Bartender in a strip club here: Amateur night, random girl hops up on stage, crowd loooooves it.

She uses water to make stage slippery. Slides around, overshoots and flies off the stage, somehow straddling the arm of a broken metal chair, cuts her crack/bu**hole way wide open.

Needs to go to hospital. I was in nursing school so I assessed her injury…..bad. Bad bad bad.”

4. A drink for my friend.

“Bartending at a busy pub in London.

There must have been thousands of people crammed into this place. This man gets to the bar and orders himself a pint.

Then out of nowhere he pulls a live lobster from his jacket and asks if his mate could have a pint too.”

5. Time to go.

“Had a lady who p**sed herself sitting at the barstool.

She proceeded to reach into her purse to grab a pill bottle filled with god only knows what. Well, in her intoxicated state she dropped the pills…. Directly into her p**s puddle.

She picked them out of the puddle, swallowed them, and was pretty promptly kicked out after that.”

6. Good Lord.

“Crackhead bursting in with a chainsaw sure woke me up on the graveyard shift.

That or the couple who’d been hitting it off at the bar did a shot and the girl suddenly threw up in her hands.

The guy didn’t miss a beat, just assured her “no it’s ok” and sensually licked her fingers clean.”

7. The nice side of town.

“After getting out of the military, my well off cousin and her husband owned a plaza on the nicest side of town.

A bar had just went belly up in that plaza, so they decided to buy the liquor license and open one themselves. It was a very high end wine and spirits bar with a similar high end menu. On Friday and Saturday, jazz and blues musicians would play.

I was the only non-trained bartender, so I’d handle the easy drinks and run them to tables. We had this one table, they were a couple, that ordered everything on the menu, and drinks only a real bartender could make well. They had to have racked up a $500-$600 bill easy. They both got up to use the restroom at the same time, and they didn’t pay the tab.

In the confusion of chasing them out the door, another patron went to the bathroom and to his horror, there was p**p smeared on all four walls, the mirror, the toilet, the door, paper towel and soap dispensers, everywhere. It was mortifying.

Check the women’s bathroom, same thing. It was early in the night, and not one of us could could bring ourselves to clean it. We had to close and have a professional cleaning service come.”

8. Insane.

“This happened a few months ago at a college bar.

We were just opening and we’re still pretty empty when a guy in his mid 30s walked the exit door without a mask (Covid regulations mandated one door for entry and another for exit only). Our biggest and most direct bouncer immediately came up to the guy and told him he needed to go around and use the other door to come in and to put a mask on.

The guy starts arguing saying there were no signs about the rules blah blah blah. Eventually the guy starts postering strangely like he had a gun hidden in his waistband or something and wouldn’t back down from our bouncer that was at least twice his size which was putting me on alert a little. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to grab back up to kick this dude out so I grabbed another bouncer and they got rid of the guy.

All normal after that for the next few minutes until 15 minutes later I hear a loud bang out back. The guy apparently rolled up to the original bouncer in his pick up, rolled down the window and told the bouncer he had something for him then raised a shotgun and fired. Luckily the bouncer wasn’t hit but we closed for the night after that.

It was the weirdest thing I’ve seen in the sense of how little someone was willing to kill over. Literally using a different door and putting on a mask was enough to potentially ruin his life and end another…”

9. Cleared the place out.

“A guy comes in and orders a pint and then goes and sits at a table beside and elderly couple and a group of tourists. He then proceeds to s**t himself.

I had to drag him out because he refused to leave. He left kicking and screaming. The place pretty much clears out after that.”

10. Well, that worked out.

“Small town bar…guy rides his horse to town.

Proceeds to get drunk, goes out and rides the horse into the bar.

Horse knows where home is so the guy lets the horse take him home!”

11. Party time! Oh, wait…

“Worked a private party, supposedly 75-100 people are going to be arriving. Host family shows up, probably about a dozen or so extended family members, toting a cake.

Party start time comes and goes, no more guests are arriving. After about an hour I talk to my manager, all “WTF did you call me in for, this isn’t a party at all!” I end up talking to the host family, and the main mom starts crying that nobody wanted to celebrate with the birthday girl.

I got sad, and asked who the birthday girl was, so at least I could buy her a big drink on the house. Mom responds “She’s dead. She died a few months ago.” She then proceeds to weep uncontrollably for a very long, awkward time. I WORKED A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A DEAD WOMAN.

Nobody else ever showed, and we made food for 50, and had food prepped for another 50. I made almost no money that night. My boss did allow me to get hammered in the house after they left, however.”

12. Who’s your friend?

“I had a guy that came in with a service cat which I didn’t know it was a thing. The cat had to be trained because we had a live band that night and he just chilled there.

The owner of the cat even got up to go to the bathroom and the cat just sat there in the barstool and didn’t freak out from the amount of people or the loud music.

And yes he got a shot of milk.”

13. Down in Mississippi.

“I am from backwoods Mississippi and was working in the city closest to my hometown at the time. Lots of forest areas that are super isolated.

I was bartending. Alone. Sunday morning at a brewery. I had one ornery regular that had come in, one random lady who wore headphones and had her back to me.

In this dude rolls from his SUV, illegally parked, wearing a plaid button up that had sleeves that were both different colors from the body. And on each shoulder… two huge big foot emblems. I told the man I liked his shirt because it was a cool shirt. He said, “I’ve seen it.”

Because I have a goofy old man for a dad, I laughed. And he said, “No seriously, I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the big foot.” The regular choked on his drink. This man proceeds to tell me all about the big foot he’s seen.

For like half an hour. It’s near my parents’ home, actually right near where my brother is buried, apparently. I ask him about what parts he saw it specifically, he has no details. Just assured me that his friend showed him, and also that he’d seen little ones, as well. No more than 3 feet tall.

Then he said he had more shirts to show me and went and got them from his car. This is where the regular chugged the rest of his beer, said, “Sorry kid, I can’t deal with him,” and left me there.

He comes back in, and tells me all about his plans. In the back of his SUV, some weird contraption. You could only see it when he opened the door. Turns out, it was A BIG FOOT CAGE.

His plan, and i swear to God this was verbatim, was to “catch it, and then call all the news stations and journalists and bloggers and media. Let them get their pictures and stories and videos. And then… and then let him go. Because he doesn’t belong in a cage.”

And then he asked me if he could buy concert tickets (we were not a concert venue) and left without purchasing anything at all.

I was so sad that no one had experienced it with me until the girl from the table turned around and was like, “I unplugged my headphones as soon as he walked in and listened to all of that and oh my God.””

How about you?

Have you ever seen any weird stuff go down in a bar, either as a worker or a patron?

Tell us your stories in the comments!

The post Bartenders Discuss the Weirdest Things They’ve Seen on the Job appeared first on UberFacts.

May 13, 2021

Bartenders, What’s the Strangest Thing You’ve Seen While Working?

Bars attract weirdos. Full stop.

Couple that with the fact that alcohol makes weird people even weirder, and you know you’re gonna see some wild sh*t if you hang around these kinds of establishments for any amount of time.

And bartenders? Well, they get to see it all!

Bartenders on AskReddit shared stories about the weirdest things they’ve seen on the job.

1. Very strange.

“A couple came in once, I sat them down, gave them menus and all that.

Not ten minutes in I pick up a call and it’s a woman asking to speak to the guy. I politely let him know someone’s on the phone and they say its urgent. He has a quick chat, seems okay and hangs up the phone before going back to the table. 5 minutes later, she calls again, I go over again, apologize and say they seem really concerned.

At this point he’s clearly tense and making an effort not to raise his voice. After a few minutes he hangs up, hands the phone back to me and says “if she calls again, just tell her I’m not interested in speaking to her”.

Lo and behold, she calls again, and I say exactly what he asked, to which she laughs in kind of a clichè “crazy ex” kind of way, and I sh*t you not, says “well tell him I hope he doesn’t eat too much because when he finds the tyres I slashed he’ll be walking home, wishing he’d spoken to me” and hangs up.

I went over a minute later and asked what kind of car he had because there was someone double-parked outside and wanted to check it wasn’t him. I figured it wasn’t worth freaking him out if it was an idle threat.

He described the car and said where he’d parked it. I took a cig break and went to check… All 4 tires were fine, but that poor bugger had not a single window left unsmashed or severely cracked and there were a couple of rocks laying on the ground.

Needless to say, they did not stay to finish their meal.”

2. Great guy!

“A guy who p*ssed himself sitting on a a barstool and then wanted to fight me when I cut him off and wouldn’t serve him a new drink.”

3. Look out!

“A car plowed into the bar, coming all the way in, and flipped a pool table on its side.

Pinned three off duty Applebee’s waitresses against the bar.

No one was hurt and the woman who was driving tried to order a drink.”

4. Classy.

“I once witnessed a woman openly fondling herself (dress hiked up, underwear pulled aside) in the middle of a not super busy bar.

It was very obvious she wanted people to see. The weird part was, after a bar back yelled at her and told to stop or get out, a guy walked up to the bar back and said “don’t talk to my wife like that”

This really happened.”

5. Wow.

“Used to have a regular who sold her time on Backpage. She loved our queso so she always had the guys bring her there.

What stuck out was that she always ordered Jagermeister and Diet Coke. In the same glass.

I once had to kick her out because she got so wasted she was giving a blow**b under one of our tables, when I could clearly see the d**k in her mouth, she’s lying about what she’s doing and says she is looking for something.”

6. Where did you come from?

“The weirdest is definitely having a mariachi band burst in through the door of the pub, play two songs and leave!

Keep in mind this is the UK, it was a dark rainy mid week night.

I don’t know where they came from or where they went after but while they played they had the attention of everyone in the pub.”

7. Sad.

“Naked kid maybe 5-6 years old came in. Reactions ranged from WTF to laughter to attempts to help.

Kid went straight to this lady, an every night regular, who turned out to be his mom. Apparently he hid in her car and she was too zonked on various substances to notice.

Kid was naked because he had literally nothing to wear, I later learned, and their duplex apartment a few blocks away was a vermin infested Hellhole. Mom was a serious addict.

Her kid following her to the bar was the impetus that led to him being taken away and her getting sent to rehab. I learned all this after the fact.

But the kid walking naked into the bar was definitely among the most unexpected things I’ve ever seen.”

8. Tragic.

“A heavy set middle eastern man was drinking heavy and got very drunk at my bar. When he went to the restroom his prime rib dinner had arrived.

I think he shot-up some smack in the stall cause when he came back way drunker. He then cut a long big strip of prime rib, about the size of a thick hot dog, then while glaring at me, threw his head back and proceeded to swallow it whole like a baby bird would a worm from its mother.

It of course got stuck in his throat choking him and he passed out and fell on the floor. I/we cleaned out his air passage and gave him CPR. 10 minutes passed and he was still unconscious when the paramedics arrived.

He left with a heart beat but died later that night in the hospital.”

9. A wild crowd.

“Worked at a serious dive for five long years.

Once had a crack addict covered in prison tattoos explain to me why it’s better to shoot her**n into your pe**s than into your neck (I am a woman, no pe**s to shoot heroin into here). He was actually kind of a good dude in his way, he taught me how to stop people who were smoking crack in the bathroom without having it get rough for me.

The trick was politely yelling from the hall to the washroom “Hi! I know you’re smoking crack in there but if you could please leave I won’t call the cops, thank you!” and honestly it worked like a charm.

I also once served a very large woman with some pretty decent stubble and her man friend, who was cross eyed and kinda smelt like pee. They were sitting at a booth at 2 or 3 in the afternoon and she was taking “bl**job” shots – which are topped with whipped cream and you’re not supposed to use your hands to drink.

Each time I brought her one she lifted her breasts, one by one, and placed them on the table so that she could lean over them to reach the shot glass on the table with her mouth.

By shot number three or four she had whipped cream in her whiskers and her man friend was leaning across the table to stroke her face and say “I f**kin loooove you” honestly I actually think the moral of that story is that there’s someone for everyone, and that’s kinda sweet?”

10. He was in a good mood that day.

“Gordon Ramsay walked in, ordered a 1/2 sized margarita, and told me it was perfect after he finished it.

He was a f**king gentleman and even bowed and said thank you on the way out. I later learned they were filming an episode of Kitchen Nightmares around the corner and he knew the chef who owned the restaurant where I was bartending.

He came in the next night too. I had a convo with Gordon Ramsay two days in a row.”

11. Strip club.

“Used to bartend at a strip club, so I definitely saw some weird things. The ones that stick out the most include:

Bartending in VIP and a guy refused to pay the girls for the hours. VIP host, who was also a former fighter, asked the guy to pay. Guy gets belligerent, calls him a slur and spits in the host’s face.

Host hits him once, KO. Guest comes to, stands up and spits blood at everyone and is escorted out. Dancers brought the teeth they found to me at the bar… not sure what I was supposed to do with them.

Watched as one unique dancer, who typically communicated via meows, slowly sip her drink as a guest licked and smelled her armpit.”

12. It was a Tuesday night…

“It was a Tuesday night and we were closing at mid-night.

A group of about 6 gentleman came to my bar, seemingly intoxicated but overall pretty friendly. Small talk revealed they are mostly from the Portland area and are here (undisclosed location near the Philadelphia area) for their best friend’s wedding (tomorrow).

The one guy asks for a shot of the most expensive tequila we have. That is Clase Azul Anejo at $150 a shot. He says “Ill take it.” So I run downstairs (this occurred on a rooftop bar) grab the bottle and all the fancy stuff to go with it, perform my lil presentation in front of him, and he grabs the snifter filled with $150 worth of our best tequila and says “okay boys circle up!”

Without missing a beat as if it were choreographed, the six guys get in a circle and start flapping their arms (positioned like chicken wings from the chicken dance), crouch down, and start chirping like baby birds.

Guy #1 then takes the shot and spits it into guy #2’s mouth, guy #2 into guy #3’s mouth, and so on until it reaches guy #6 who receives and swallows the now certainly warm and slimy shot like a f**king champ.

Found out afterward they were all on shrooms but coolest s**t I’ve ever seen. Woulda comp’ed the shot if I had the power. Hope those boys are doing well.”

Now we want to hear from all the bartenders out there.

In the comments, please tell us about your weird work stories.

We can’t wait to hear them!

The post Bartenders, What’s the Strangest Thing You’ve Seen While Working? appeared first on UberFacts.

July 26, 2019

15 Bartenders Share the Strangest Conversations They’ve Overheard

One perk of being a bartender: hearing all the drunks and weirdos tell their tales. People spill out their guts to barkeeps, and even if they’re not being directly addressed, you know they’re still listening to everything going on on the other side of the bar.

In this AskReddit article, bartenders reveal the weirdest conversations they’ve ever heard on the job.

#1. Awwwww

“Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a women say to her friend, “Hey look, the bartender’s really cute.”

Friend: “No he’s not!”

Response: “Oh yeah, you’re right.”

#2. Negotiations

“Work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our convention center. I’ve heard way too many negotiations between businessmen and escorts.

Last one I heard involved the guy asking the lady how much extra she would charge to let his friend watch.”

#3. Classy

“Had a husband and wife who were by far the most rude people I’ve ever encountered, talking with a traveling business man. By the end of the night the business man was propositioning the woman to go back to his hotel room for some money.”

#4. Lots of cheating

“Lots and lots of cheaters. It’s weird that serial cheaters take their girls to the same spot.”

#5. Heated argument

“I’ve bartended but my favorite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar. “Look all I’m saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generation’s perception of how many police helicopters exist.” Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha.”

#6. Tennis ladies

“I bartended at a country club, and there was this one group of tennis-ladies that would always sit at the bar and get absolutely sh*tfaced on weeknights at our wine nights. They took a liking to our main bartender and kept calling him exotic (he’s Mexican), they would say how love his beard, would talk about their fav (not tennis related) positions, how they kept their nether-regions tidy, slip him their numbers, how sh*t their husbands were, etc. Gave me death glares every time I’d be bartending/bar backing with him lol.”

#7. So obvious

“On Valentine’s Day this year, we had a guest who accepted a FaceTime from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn’t see the girl, but it was so obvious.”

#8. Categorize them

“I overheard a woman who worked for a New Zealand online dating service, and was basically a profile censor. She described her job as being 80% dick pic removal, and had seen so many she could divvy them up into a few distinct categories.”

#9. Shady business

“I heard some chick say “and the worse part about it, is that lucky bastard got a whole gram of crystal out it for free.”

#10. Now I’m in love with myself

“I hated myself until I discovered masturbation.”

#11. Hahahaha

“Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I’ve heard. At first the usual “Lemme tell ya, you’re a good person. I love you man.” Later on (still fairly basic): “Fuck the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!”

To finally this gem: “If a tornado were to blow you away… I would fly after you.”

#12. Adorable

“Guy: “I think I’m going to need a coke chaser for this one.” Girl, presumably SO: “we already did all the coke…” Guy: “Coca Cola, you idiot!”

Not even the most memorable, just the most recent. For sure, a real snapshot into their relationship.”

#13. Wonder how that worked out…

“I once listened to three people have an in depth discussion about how they were going to kill the “local vampire” and the steps to take to protect themselves from the coven that said vampire is surely from.

My favorite though what a heated debate over whether the first Robin would be a crime fighter if Batman hadn’t picked him up and trained him.”

#14. Sounds fun

“I once heard a guy tell his buddy, “It’s fun, it’s like laser tag but with real guns” That was twenty years ago and to this day kick myself for not getting the whole story.”

#15. These are on the house

“A customer is on the phone in the middle of the bar, not too crowded but a long bar. Guy couldn’t have been more than 25. I go to help someone at the end of the bar and on my way back I overhear:

“No, I don’t care! She’s my sister, she is THIRTEEN and there is no reason she should be doing cocaine! At all!”

Gave him a few drinks on the house that night.”

The post 15 Bartenders Share the Strangest Conversations They’ve Overheard appeared first on UberFacts.

May 7, 2019

12 Bartender-Approved Liquors To Class Up Your Drinking Habits

Back when I was a young man, I admit I was a little intimidated every time I walked to the bar. What would I order? There are SO MANY ALCOHOLS!

While it took a lot of trial and error for me to finally figure out my preferences, you won’t need to struggle as I did, thanks to this list of bartender-approved liquors that you can’t go wrong with.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Marketing firm Metrixlab recently sent a survey to 10,000 bartenders throughout the United States, asking what brands of alcohol they are most likely to recommend to their customers. The survey is in its 15th year and is used by spirits company to see where their brands stand with these important point of sale influencers.

Here are the results.

Patron Tequila for Best Overall Spirit

Second year in row after overtaking Fireball.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Johnny Walker for Blended Scotch

Ranked first since the beginning of the study in 2005.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia

Hennessy for Cognac

For seven years out of the past eight.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Grand Marnier for Cordial

Highest ranking for the past six years.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia

Baileys for Coffee Cordial

Leader for the past six years, ever since the category was included.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia

BACARDI Flavors for Flavor Spirits

This year, BARCARDI overtook Absolut Vodka for the first time.

Photo Credit: BACARDI

Bombay Sapphire for Gin

Overtaking Hendricks.

Photo Credit: Pexels

Patron for Tequila

Ranked highest since 2008 (also best overall spirit).

Photo Credit: Pxhere

Grey Goose for Vodka

Was only outranked once since 2005 (by Absolut).

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Jack Daniel’s for Whiskey

Consistently first.

Photo Credit: Flickr

BACARDI for Rum

Ranked first for the past 12 years.

Photo Credit: Pxhere

Jack Daniel’s for Shot/Shooter

Overtook Fireball for a first time lead.

Photo Credit: Flickr

The Macallan for Single Malt Scotch

Second straight year after overtaking Glenlivet in 2017.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia

Spirit companies know who their true customers are – the bartenders. Cause bartenders wield huge influence over their customers’ choice of beverage for the evening.

Cheers!

The post 12 Bartender-Approved Liquors To Class Up Your Drinking Habits appeared first on UberFacts.

March 13, 2019

15 Bartenders Reveal the Weirdest Things They’ve Heard on the Job

Bartenders hear all sorts of things. People don’t usually sit at a bar to be sober and quiet, so between being the patient ear to some poor guy’s sob story and hearing some drunk couple plan out the rest of their evening, you know they’ve heard some absolute doozies.

In this AskReddit article, bartenders reveal the weirdest conversations they’ve ever heard on the job.

#1. Categorize them

“I overheard a woman who worked for a New Zealand online dating service, and was basically a profile censor. She described her job as being 80% dick pic removal, and had seen so many she could divvy them up into a few distinct categories.”

#2. Sounds fun

“I once heard a guy tell his buddy, “It’s fun, it’s like laser tag but with real guns” That was twenty years ago and to this day kick myself for not getting the whole story.”

#3. These are on the house

“A customer is on the phone in the middle of the bar, not too crowded but a long bar. Guy couldn’t have been more than 25. I go to help someone at the end of the bar and on my way back I overhear:

“No, I don’t care! She’s my sister, she is THIRTEEN and there is no reason she should be doing cocaine! At all!”

Gave him a few drinks on the house that night.”

#4. Shady business

“I heard some chick say “and the worse part about it, is that lucky bastard got a whole gram of crystal out it for free.”

#5. Now I’m in love with myself

“I hated myself until I discovered masturbation.”

#6. Classy

“Had a husband and wife who were by far the most rude people I’ve ever encountered, talking with a traveling business man. By the end of the night the business man was propositioning the woman to go back to his hotel room for some money.”

#7. Lots of cheating

“Lots and lots of cheaters. It’s weird that serial cheaters take their girls to the same spot.”

#8. Heated argument

“I’ve bartended but my favorite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar. “Look all I’m saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generation’s perception of how many police helicopters exist.” Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha.”

#9. Awwwww

“Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a women say to her friend, “Hey look, the bartender’s really cute.”

Friend: “No he’s not!”

Response: “Oh yeah, you’re right.”

#10. Negotiations

“Work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our convention center. I’ve heard way too many negotiations between businessmen and escorts.

Last one I heard involved the guy asking the lady how much extra she would charge to let his friend watch.”

#11. Tennis ladies

“I bartended at a country club, and there was this one group of tennis-ladies that would always sit at the bar and get absolutely sh*tfaced on weeknights at our wine nights. They took a liking to our main bartender and kept calling him exotic (he’s Mexican), they would say how love his beard, would talk about their fav (not tennis related) positions, how they kept their nether-regions tidy, slip him their numbers, how sh*t their husbands were, etc. Gave me death glares every time I’d be bartending/bar backing with him lol.”

#12. So obvious

“On Valentine’s Day this year, we had a guest who accepted a FaceTime from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn’t see the girl, but it was so obvious.”

#13. Hahahaha

“Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I’ve heard. At first the usual “Lemme tell ya, you’re a good person. I love you man.” Later on (still fairly basic): “Fuck the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!”

To finally this gem: “If a tornado were to blow you away… I would fly after you.”

#14. Adorable

“Guy: “I think I’m going to need a coke chaser for this one.” Girl, presumably SO: “we already did all the coke…” Guy: “Coca Cola, you idiot!”

Not even the most memorable, just the most recent. For sure, a real snapshot into their relationship.”

#15. Wonder how that worked out…

“I once listened to three people have an in depth discussion about how they were going to kill the “local vampire” and the steps to take to protect themselves from the coven that said vampire is surely from.

My favorite though what a heated debate over whether the first Robin would be a crime fighter if Batman hadn’t picked him up and trained him.”

The post 15 Bartenders Reveal the Weirdest Things They’ve Heard on the Job appeared first on UberFacts.

November 9, 2018

10+ Times Bartenders Helped Women Stay Safe from Creeps at the Bar

Bartenders have long been the hallowed providers of libations and a sympathetic ear to your problems, but they’re also taking on an even more important duty – keeping women safe at the bar. Here are several great examples from AskReddit users. Cheers!

1. Tinder date

“I had to use it when on a date off tinder. We met up and he had already got me a drink just sat there (shot of something clear) and then said to me that I should do it then he would take me some where better for more fun. I wasn’t comfortable so excused my self to the bathroom and saw a poster that said about ask for Angela if you’re uncomfortable. Went to the bar and asked for Angela and immedietley this guy was playing along saying oh yeah she’s working in kitchen tonight he got me a taxi and walked me out the back door and into the taxi to make sure I got there without any hassle. Never saw the guy again.”

2. I’m a friend

“Working as a bartender and bouncer for the past couple years, I usually just try to watch for body language of people that are in the bar. If it looks like someone needs a quick escape, I’ll approach and pretend I’m an old friend that hasn’t seen them in a while, if they actually don’t need help, I can excuse myself by saying they look like a friend.

Either that, or I’ll try to position myself behind the questionable party and give a thumbs-up and cocked eyebrow as a sort of “You good?”.

Edit: Well, thank you to the people who commented on this comment, and thanks to whoever gave me gold! Really awesome of y’all.”

3. You’re not her boyfriend

“This is a relatively new thing, but us girls have been doing some form of it for a long time.

Back when I was a bartender, I noticed a girl stumble into the pool table. She was crying and clearly very intoxicated. I went over to ask if she was okay, and some guy I hadn’t seen her with all night jumps up and says, “I’m her boyfriend, I’ve got her.” No the f*ck you do not.

We got her to calm down and give us her phone to call her roommate so someone safe could take her home. It sucks that it’s necessary, but I’ll always love my boss from that bar because he threw that creep out, physically.

We saw her again. She didn’t have a boyfriend or remember that night.”

4. New to the area

“I went out on my own one night and was having a few drinks at a local pub. I had just moved to the area so didn’t really know anyone. A guy sat down next to me and was chatting. At first is was just casual but he eventually became really tipsy/handsy. Then the guy actually kissed me just out of the blue and I told him I was not ok with it. He said I was leading him on – which was not the case at all.

He got angry and stormed off to the washroom. I was feeling really uncomfortable and unsafe. I didn’t know my new neighborhood yet. The bartender saw that I was feeling off right away – he didn’t even know me but could tell. He asked if I wanted to be shown out the back door and if they could put me in a cab home so that I could go without the guy following me. They even paid – and apologized that I felt unsafe in their bar. I was totally blown away. I would totally go back there and feel completely taken care of.”

5. Chivalrous bouncer

“I’m a bouncer in a nightclub. No drink safewords but we actively keep an eye out for situations which don’t look above the radar. If a girl’s leaving with a guy and she looks too intoxicated to stand I’ll take her aside and ask what his name is and how she knows him. If she’s scared or needs help getting away from a bad situation I’ll call her a cab and walk her to it. I’ll also say to the bloke that I need to see some ID because ‘his entry stamp isn’t the right one’ as soon as I see it I’ll take a photo, pass it on to the police and ban him for life from out club.

We’ve built up a reputation as the safest nightclub in our area, which draws both crowds especially girls. It’s massively helped our business being so focused on safety.”

6. Creeper

“Had a creeper at a hotel bar who wouldn’t leave me alone despite my best efforts to ignore him. I even asked him politely and not so politely to “leave me alone”. He actually kept trying to touch me and told me that I was going to go to his room with him. He had a strange angry edge too. So I gave the bartender a “help me” look and said to him something like “I need to talk to you about that thing with my tab, remember?” and asked if could do it when the bar closed (which was like 5 minutes later).

He looked at me and said, “Give me a minute”, made a phone call and then said, “So, they can help you at the front desk”… meanwhile creeper is literally not leaving me alone is still trying to actually hang on me and keeps talking.

So I start to leave and creeper is trying to kiss me and pull me close but I tell him I have business at the front desk and walk to the front desk. About 3 employees were there and I said “The Bartender said you could help me with my tab?” And one of the employees says “oh, I need you to come here with me to fix that”. And she says to the guy “You need to stay here, this is personal business”. The employee (a woman) and I start to walk away and of course the creeper followed us. She actually walked me to a staff elevator and he tried to get on with us. She told him “Get out of here and leave us alone” as a male hotel employee came up to him just then and the elevator door shut. The employee walked me literally to my room door and stayed until I had it locked on the other side.

I have had (and still occasionally do have) guys hit on me but never anything like this incident. I actually wrote a long long email to the hotel corporate office and the actual hotel about the bartender and two employees because they helped me in what I would say was “above and beyond”… the guy really frightened me. I have been as brand loyal as possible to the hotel chain ever since.”

7. Take a hint

“Had a bar call 911 once after they bounced a guy who was creeping out a woman. He stood outside the bar and flat out said he was waiting for her until she came out, which he did. He started following her and told people they were together. I literally had to stand with this moron while this poor girl and her friends got into the car, and dipsh*t tried to stand really close so he could get the address.

I told the driver her address, but gave the address of the jail, which most taxis know, and he seemed to get the hint. Guy tried to complain later that we had “unlawfully detained” him just so he couldn’t get the girls number and address.

I mean… Yeah, basically that’s what we did. Move along.

Edit for clarification: I responded to the 911 call, I’m a police officer.”

8. Pretend you know me

“I’ve actually been used to escape by a random before. Was at a local bar with a bunch of friends and out of no where girl walks over, sits on my lap and between a teeth clenched smile just said “pretend to know me”. I laughed and loudly said “Hey you! Where’d you wonder off to?” Thankfully my friends picked up on it because inside of 10 seconds a few of my female friends were chatting with her and standing between her and the guy she’d fled.

I asked her after what about me made her know I was a safe person to turn to and she said “because you’re here with a bunch of women. Total honesty. Thought you were gay.” Lol.

Edit: holy crap. Welp. There goes my Reddit silver AND Gold cherry. Ya’ll are awesome.”

9. University town

“My university town had the highest incidents of sexual assault for 5 years in a row, the school and community took it really seriously and implemented procedures all over the place.

I asked my friend, who was a bouncer at my favorite bar/club, what happens when a girl orders the drink. He said it changes week to week in the ladies bathroom to confuse men when word gets out. You can use any of the former ones and the bartenders will jump into action.

Generally they find a way to get you away from that person whether it be a “phone call” or they need to show you something. Once you’re out of eye sight they whisk you away to the opposite floor of the place (bar is on the bottom, club is on the top) and keep the date occupied until your gone. If he gets away from his “company” they radio that the drink got spilled and every bouncer abandons their post to try and keep him away from you.

They escort you out the backdoor into a waiting cab. They pay the cabbie to take you home and make sure you’re not followed. When you get home they ask that you flick your front porch lights on and off and call the club to let them know you’re safe. They also save the security cameras from that day in case you have need of it at a later date.

I never used their service because my friends were the bouncers and usually intervened before I needed to say anything.”

10. Leave me alone, please

“Semi-related, but I was out at the pub on campus for a show, and had been there previously in the day celebrating our last exam with some friends. Some guy who was sitting at a table next to us and trying to chat us up earlier was still there with his buddies and was drunker and braver and of course he got me alone when my friend went to the bathroom.

He wouldn’t stop talking to me and getting in my face and yelling about himself and when I excused myself to go to the bar (literally was like “ok bye.”) He followed me to the bar and ordered the same thing as I did and offered to pay and I said I was good and he did not. stop. talking. And I must have looked mad as f*ck because the bartender walked over and went “hey you were here earlier right? Buddy give us a second I need to speak with her about her tab.” The guy leaves and the bartender tells me I looked distressed and asked if everything was ok, I told him I was fine but this guy was in my personal space and not leaving. So he said if he doesn’t stop that I should come back and order a whiskey lemon and security would be notified, and he would walk me back to my car if I needed it.

We ended up moving tables and I think he got too drunk to stand up and left not too long after that but I was so relieved to know the bartender was watching out. I’m not one for confrontation and it just feels so much safer to be able to duck out with someone having my back.”

11. Aggressive

“I’m a bartender in a small town. Anytime a new woman comes into the bar I let her know that if she ever feels uncomfortable or needs anything to ask me to go out for a smoke with her. I’ve had plenty of people use it to get away from some just usual creeps.

But NOTHING beats the night a guy asked this girl to go home with him. After she politely refused he grabbed her and called her a bitch. We already had our eye on this situation, my bouncer immediately came out of no where and tazed this drunk assh*le.”

12. Let them know

“PSA to the ladies:

I’m a guy who’s worked 20 years as a bartender, club manager, and security dude. We LIVE for taking out assh*les. If you ever are having an issue with a guy, date or not, please let anyone there know and I bet they would be thrilled to make the asshole go away (or put you safely in a car)

When I used to hear after the fact about incidents in the club where a patron was harassed I alway wish I would have known what was going down— staff will usually gladly step in.”

13. Thank you

“I had a creep corner me in a bar once and tried to stroke my thigh. I dude I’ve never met before came up and said “hey sis I’ve been looking all over for you!” And he put his arm around me and walked me out. Thank you so much stranger.

Edit: since I’m seeing a lot of comments about this. It was pretty obvious they were not working together. The nice guy walked over from a group of friends (all college aged) and the creep was in his fifties. And when I said he walked me out, he just walked me to the door of the bar.”

14. View from a female bartender

“Female bartender chiming in. In the decade I’ve been doing this, most bars I’ve worked in don’t have a safe word or drink. I’ve worked in 3 major cities with large universities and bar districts and not one I’ve ever seen.

I consider keeping patrons safe a large part of my job, especially working at clubs or at music festivals. I’m watching anyone that gives me a weird vibe or people that are obviously on a newish date and most other bartenders that give a shit do the same. There’s a “look” other women will give when they need help. Either cornered into a conversation they obviously want out of or trying to turn down free drinks from some guy that won’t take no for an answer.

That’s when I just go over and pretend I’m bussing or wiping the bar and make eye contact with her until she gets I’ve got an understanding of what’s going on, then I just ask her how she’s “doing” in a tone that also conveys I’m there to help if need be. If her answer is weird or she keeps eye contact too long with me, or in a “please don’t leave” kinda way, I immediately get security and try and get her an Uber if she’s tipsy, or find her friends. I do everything I can to make sure they get home. I unfortunately can tell so many stories of drugged/drunk girls completely out and having to literally keep men away from them because they all swear they’ll get her home safely or that they know her or her friends.

So ladies, you can always tell your bartender literally anything is going on. We consider the workplace kind of ours and don’t want any bad shit happening to anyone that comes in. Just tell us and we’ll help you.”

15. Slammin’ drinks

“Ehhh this is a “close but not quite” situation but it may get attention due to the lack of legit responses.

A guy I was with was with was SUPER adamant about me keeping up with him slamming drinks. He would drag me to the bar and order for me, then egg me on to drink faster, etc. I did NOT want to be drunk with him.

He ordered me a vodka soda and I maintained that slightly pained look on my face, hoping to catch the bartenders attention. When he looked my way, I widened my eyes just a little and subtly shook my head “no”.

I watched him as he poured me drink by faking the vodka pour and just filling me with what I presume was soda water (not normally my drink of choice so I wasn’t sure what it was – kinda looked like stale Sprite) and he garnished it with a lime and everything. Said “cheers” when he handed us our drinks.

This continued for a while until Drunky McSmashypants wanted to leave. Bartender said to me “oh you had asked about seeing Megan, right?! Yeah she’s in the back, go ahead while he closes out”

I sort of hovered by the restrooms which were tucked away, watched the bartender BS with the dude for a while, and he eventually left lookin all annoyed. When the coast was clear, I came out, said my thank yous, and he said “anytime, happens more than we care to admit” so I thought it was pretty cool that the bartenders were aware enough to pick up on the little signs and help a sister out. I guess during their conversation he basically convinced the dude that I didn’t seem into it and he thought he saw me leave already. Drunk dude was druuuuuunk so I guess he bought it without further intervention necessary.”

The post 10+ Times Bartenders Helped Women Stay Safe from Creeps at the Bar appeared first on UberFacts.

November 8, 2018

15 Ways You’re Annoying Your Servers and Bartenders Without Even Realizing

If you’ve ever had the pleasure of working in the service industry, you know just how infuriating customers can be at times. While most people are generally fine, there are always those customers who are just plain rude, pushy, and completely oblivious to any sense of boundaries.

Maybe as a customer, you have no idea how annoying you are, and you really don’t mean to be. If you’re genuinely trying to be kind to your servers, it’s time to listen up. DO NOT DO THE FOLLOWING THINGS, EVER.