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Therapists Discussed Moments When Clients Really Caught Them by Surprise

I admire people who work as therapists because they have a very tough job.

And I think it would be very difficult to not bring all that baggage home every night…

But we’re dealing with professionals here, okay? And we’re in luck because they talked about some clients that did some crazy sh*t.

Therapists opened up on AskReddit about some of the more interesting things they’ve seen on the job.

1. Troubled.

“Parents of a “troubled” child, which turn out to be the problem themselves.

Total refusal to do any kind of introspection, try to convince everybody (cps, police, psychologist, doctor) the kid was the problem, complain the kid was… A kid (a teenager a that point) by growing too fast and costing money to feed and clothe.

He had smashed their t.v. with an axe. Turns out they hadn’t speak or pay any attention to him in several years and they spent 99% of their free time watching t.v. Kid had no other behavior problem, great in school, very calm. He just reach a point where he couldn’t stand being ignore any longer so he had what she called a “Fried Green Tomatoes” moment.

Parents dismissed their responsibility, only problem they saw was the wacked t.v. Kid got emancipated at 16 and moved to f*ck out of there.

She had a private practice and the only times she expressed any judgment was when someone seeks therapy but refused to do any work or partake in the process. Paying a therapist is not paying someone to agree with you.

You need to show up, you need to -at least- try.”

2. Wow.

“I now work in the jail and there are quite a few s*x offenders in my program.

I struggle with the ones who honestly believe their victims (as young as 8) were in mutual loving relationships with them.

It’s super difficult at times not to just say “dude, WTF!””

3. Give yourself some credit.

“Some of my clients are SHOCKINGLY BAD at giving themselves credit.

They might get a nearly straight A GPA in a brutal major while battling depression, or overcome years of phobia and get behind the wheel again, or write a literal novel, or raise a kid as a single parent with low income

Rr build new relationships after being burned, or cope with OCD well enough to hold down a job. And they’ll talk about themselves as if everyone on earth is better than them, as if their accomplishments are worthless.

And I know it’s because of depression or anxiety or another condition, but I’m often stunned by how differently I see them compared to how they see themselves.”

4. Heartache.

“Had a patient apologise for crying during a consultation, saying ‘I know I shouldn’t be sad, I’ve got so many great things going for me’

Dude.

Three months ago you had to move back to your parents after an unexpected breakup.

Back to the environment which contributed to your official diagnosis.

The same place where your sister was living- before she died, one month after your return to that house, of the same diagnosis you have.

And because she died during a pandemic, not only could you not visit her in hospital before she died, you had difficulty organising her funeral.

In addition to all that he felt financially responsible for both his parents as they’d both lost their benefits- a loss which they couldn’t appeal as their mental health was so poor the concept of fighting that decision was making them suicidal.

I want to hug a lot of my patients, but this one made my heart ache.”

5. Judged.

“The one thing I’ve judged is the situations that people survive and continue to live their lives.

I’ve worked with torture survivors, survivors of genocide and famine. I’ve worked with people whose entire villages were wiped out because a war lord wanted the water well that was sitting in the town.

It always gives me pause in terms of the anguish some people face and their resilience. So if I have one message, it would be in the words of RJ Palacio, “Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle.””

6. Psychotherapy.

“I’m a psychotherapist on an adult inpatient unit, so things rarely phase me. I purposely do inpatient because the thought of seeing people for years at a time bores me.

I’ve been kicked, spit on, seen a lot of nude people, but I help pull people back from their darkest points. It’s pretty awesome. My theory is everyone has a story of how they got there. Even a pedophile.

That being said, I had a patient that was having consensual s*x with her uncle. Very wealthy, society type people. She went very in-depth about the relationship. That one weirded me out.”

7. Are you serious?

“I currently have a young female client that is struggling with homelessness, a history of trauma, s*xual abuse, etc.

She’s not handling these things well, as can be expected. Grandmother, who is her only support, keeps kicking the ten year old out of her house (making her homeless at ten) for acting out, and told me she can’t understand why client won’t just “act right.”

Lady. Are you serious?”

8. Hearing voices.

“There was a client a young teenager that was hearing voices to hurt himself.

He had multiple crisis calls and was admitted several times to crisis centers for observation until he got prescribed meds and was starting to show improvement.

He was starting to disclose that he may have been Gay and was stressed out because his father was old school religious and a pillar of the community.

The young man was recommended to go to treatment abs start in a facility to keep him acclimate to he meds and just to give him some coping skills and all that.

His father pulled him out AMA and refused to allow him to continue medication. He also discontinued his therapy for a more religious approach.

3 months later he completed his suicide.

I see that father around and I want to f*ck him up. I wish I could.”

9. Scary.

“In working with a young elementary aged student, he would start mast*rbating when explaining how he wanted to kill his teacher and classmates in gruesome detail.

Thankfully we were able to transfer him to a more appropriate day school setting where he could receive special services.”

10. Couples counseling.

“Couples counseling; parents of a baby (4 or 5 months old).

We are halfway in our session when I ask them about their baby. Mom: she is in bed right now. Me: ah, grandparents babysitting? Dad: no, she is at home alone. Nothing can happen to her. We bought a special mattress, one where she (baby) cannot suffocate

Me: mouth open… staring at them for a couple of seconds. Then: how long did it take you to get here? Mom: 15 mins or so. Me: alright, the session is over.

I want you guys to go home immediately and call me when you arrive. Please hurry. And Never ever leave your baby alone!”

11. So bad.

“I’ve worked with some really sh*tty parents in my career. Probably one of the worst was the mom who kept sneaking the stepfather back into the house who was being investigated for molesting her daughter.

Hard not to judge someone who puts her own daughter at risk so she could get laid.”

12. Sabotaging.

“It is highly unlikely for me to have moments where I judge my clients.

It happens sometimes, but I’m able to shut down those thoughts quickly in my head and return to being present for the people I see. People are so incredibly complex that my judgment wouldn’t have any meaning anyway and it doesn’t have a place in our work together.

I will admit though, something that does get me feeling a little salty is when I have a client’s parent that attempts to sabotage the therapeutic relationship I have with their child.

Or pulling them out of therapy entirely when some of the things we talk about challenges some potentially unhealthy family dynamics. I don’t feel anger toward the parents, mostly I feel bad for the kid.”

What do you think is your biggest “oh sh*t” work moment?

Tell us your stories in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post Therapists Discussed Moments When Clients Really Caught Them by Surprise appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Admit What They Thought Would Be Easy Until They Tried It

You’ve probably been dumbfounded when trying something new in your life at least once…or maybe way more times than that if you’re a risk-taker and even a little bit ignorant.

Hey, we all live and learn, right?

But sometimes, you have to learn the hard way.

Folks on AskReddit talked about what they thought would be easy until they tried it.

1. Uhhh, no.

“Running.

I was like yeah I smoke and drink but I can definitely run like the wind. Ha, no.

Quit smoking after my first run and am now 3 years smoke free!”

2. Now, that is hard.

“Playing the guitar.

The jump from not being able to play anything to playing basic chords and a couple songs you like isn’t that much and it makes you feel like such a bad*ss. But the jump again to a working musician is astronomical.

I tried and just got burnt out and it wasn’t fun anymore.”

3. Back to Square One.

“A lot of the parts from that Ninja Warrior show. I’m a very physically fit guy and always thought that first course looked like a breeze.

Then I found a local gym with the different elements set up. Even just that very first part where you hop across a few platforms was tough.”

4. Gotta work it out.

“Maintaining a proper work/life balance.

When I was still in college, I’d either procrastinate way too much or I’d work nonstop.

I was never able to find a balance where I was still getting sh*t done but not burning myself out.”

5. Harder as you get older.

“Learning a second language.

I understand it’s far easier as an adolescent but, whew, conversational German for a English speaker is very hard for me.”

6. It’s true.

“Making (and maintaining) friends as an adult.

I never really put much thought into this, until I had no friends left in adulthood, and realized how easy it used to be as a kid in school in comparison.”

7. A tough one.

“I am not a really confident person but I keep working on my confidence.

There was a time when I tried the “fake it until you make it” approach.

Faking it is harder than expected.”

8. Works of art.

“Pottery.

I made a couple of very small, cr*ppy bowls on the wheel, but the thing I made the best and far more often was a giant mess.

I can sculpt fine but those stupid bowls get me.”

9. Maybe you don’t have the “gift of gab.”

“Socializing with a group of people I usually wouldn’t hang out with.

It’s either that or I stay alone forever…but I just can’t find any sort of relatability to these people.”

10. Better pay attention!

“On the first trip to England…

After renting a car, it proved to be a considerable challenge to drive on the “other side of the road” from what I was used to – especially in the roundabouts and on major highways.”

11. Brain drain.

“Working a job.

Doing the job physically itself, I have no problem with.

Mentally, it’s the drain of bad management and feeling like you’re wasting your time.”

12. I have to try this.

“Throwing dough to make pizza.. and pretty much the rest of the pizza making process.

Getting the dough into a round 18″ pie is tricky. Then getting the sauce even and not on the crust is a process. And getting all of it done as quickly as possible…

After several hundred pizzas I can crank them out pretty good now though.”

13. It’s ain’t easy!

“Snowboarding.

I grew up on skis and when I tried snowboarding, I literally just rolled down the entire mountain like a slinky on the stairs.”

14. Looking for the right one.

“Falling in love with the RIGHT person.

My mom used to tell me to be careful who you date because you can fall in love with anyone.

Fell for many frogs before my hubs came along and we’re close to our 13th anniversary.”

How about you?

What did you think would be easy until you tried it?

Tell us your stories in the comments. Thanks!

The post People Admit What They Thought Would Be Easy Until They Tried It appeared first on UberFacts.

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“If Most People Think of Chefs as Male, Why Is Cooking at Home Thought of as Woman’s Work?” Here’s How People Responded.

Stereotypes are strange and misogyny is nothing if not insidious. There’s no reason for people to associate the job of “chef” with “man” these days, but I would venture to say that most people probably do.

There’s less reason for cooking at home to be seen as something women do, but ask the majority of two-person households out there who cooks most nights.

This guy wants to know why those two stereotypes co-exist and honestly, I’m pretty interested in these 15 answers, myself.

Why is it that being a chef is a male stereotype but cooking at home is a female stereotype? I don’t get it? from NoStupidQuestions

Let’s take a look…

15. Men would like change, too.

If given the chance to have a stay at home husband look after the kids, I’d imagine many more women would go on to have professional careers in the arts.

But that’s more of a cultural shift that would be needed I feel, maybe in the future it will shift more

14. It’s all about the money.

Because cooking at home doesn’t pay!

For example knitting used to be a sole male profession back then since it was highly paid. As machines were introduced in the industry the pay plummeted and guess what? It became a female craft.

That’s how society traditionally worked for ages. What is profitable is man’s work and women work for nothing or little pay.

13. Time to change the default.

It’s like that for many things.

Gardening and flowers are girly but landscaping and top experts in the field are men.

Fashion is girly but top fashion designers are men (Gucci, Ralph Lauren).

Child rearing is for women but top childcare experts are men (dr. Gerber, Dr. Sears).

I think it goes back to when women didn’t work so all the professionals in every field were men out of default.

12. That’s not right.

This goes with a lot of professions. Teachers vs professors, nurses vs doctors.

Also interesting observation: once women started becoming secretaries, the profession started getting paid way less and being taken less seriously. Same with teachers.

11. Nailed it.

One is a position of power, one is a position of servitude.

10. Chefs vs. cooks.

other answers here are pretty simplistic so basically:

women were the primary cooks up until the concept of going to a place specifically to eat a quality meal (i.e., a restaurant) became popular. remember that the concept of restaurants (as we know it today) didn’t really exist until the late 18th century.

once people realized that this was a potentially lucrative business, women were pushed out. and, in many places, women were not allowed to hold property or control their own money (there were exceptions to this but usually only for already upper class women). therefore, there was no real way for women to wrench this business back from men. the label of “chef” helped the men distance themselves from what was otherwise considered domestic work ,or “women’s work”. women were “cooks” in the home, men were “chefs” in business.

this distinction has only recently began to go away.

tl;dr: the advent of the modern restaurant forced women out of their traditional work because of the opportunity for men to make money. those men became “chefs”, and the women stayed “cooks”. only now just starting to shift.

9. The only answer we need, really.

Sexism bro.

The patriarchy is one hell of a drug.

8. It’s not for family.

Cooking at home is associated with caregiving. You care for your kids, partners, etc.

Cooking in a restaurant is associated with making money, and is well known to be a high stress environment.

Caregiving stereotypes are directed at women, while men’s stereotypes surrounding being a breadwinner and dealing better with stress.

7. That about sums it up.

Women are expected to be able to cook because it’s their duty to their families.

Chefs are supposed to be artists, something traditionally male oriented. It’s a career.

It’s stupid.

6. Men don’t do chores.

I assume it’s because home cooking is seen as more of a chore, and being the head of a prestigious restaurant is a respected profession.

Back in the day people used to believe women shouldn’t work, but should instead be taking care of the home while the men went off to work.

5. But it doesn’t have to be true.

It’s a stereotype because it’s true. According to the first Google result I lazily pulled up whole searching “percentage of female chefs”, only 18.7% of chefs and executive chefs were female in 2012. That’s four out of five chefs being male, a huge discrepancy.

Why? That’s more speculative, but being a chef is a very different skill-set to being good at cooking. I love cooking at home (I’m female), but would loathe running a commercial kitchen. Because the cooking’s only part of it, and the rest is managing staff, running a physically demanding, high-pressure, competitive, somewhat physically dangerous job with write an aggressive culture (lots of shouting, swearing and general motivation-by-abuse) with hours that don’t mesh well with having a family life. I imagine it psychologically appeals to men more than women on average, just by the nature of the beast. And that’s OK.

As for cooking at home being a female-dominated activity, 70% of women cooked a home in 2018 as opposed to 46% of men (again, first result of low-effort googling). So the stereotype is less accurate – men cooking at home is on the rise – but still not entirely wrong.

The reason for that is probably historical – throughout history women tended to stay around the house more, taking care of the children, while the men worked inside or outside the home at a more specialised task (being a cobbler, lawyer, blacksmith or what-have you). It just makes sense that the person who was in proximity to the kitchen, and had the time to prepare food, would do it.

And in many cases, historically, it wasn’t a simple as home cook vs chef. Farming women would often earn money though food preparation, making cheeses and preserves to sell, winning prizes for their signature dishes at the county fair, or taking in boarders.

As women entered the workforce the idea that a wife ‘should’ cook has persisted, even when it makes little sense because she’s out of the house as much as her husband. But that’s changing, and fairly rapidly, these days – although it’s worth mentioning that even working women generally work fewer hours than working men, on average.

4. Because more women stay home.

Women traditionally stay at home, hence being a home cook. men traditionally get a profession, and being a chef is a well paying profession. edit now that this got big: i should have worded it better.

It pays well for the type of profession it is.

It’s a profession that a lot of people love doing. for example, being a plumber pays better but nobody wakes up in the morning happy to be plumbing, ya know.

3. It’s all in the gender roles.

Read that somewhere, gist was: because the cooking are different roles here, at home it’s the serving (the family/husband) in a restaurant that role is the server (which is stereotypical the female part in a restaurant) while the chef (cooking) is the leader in a kitchen/restaurant.

2. Who has the power?

This is a pattern across many different art forms.

More girls than boys take art, music, theater, etc in school, but more men than women become professional artists, musicians, broadway actors, etc.

As others have said, it comes from gendered power structures.

1. Not all men are chefs.

I’m going to replace the word “chef” with “cook” to answer part of this question.

The majority of cooks, myself included, come from rough or self-destructive backgrounds. Addicts, alcoholics, convicts, etc. The majority of these cooks are male; not entirely sure why, but I like to think that its a community that is more welcoming to those who have been through the same shit and are just trying to get through life while females in the same boat tend to have other options. Also, the background check to be a cook is almost non-existent. Statistically there are a lot more men with criminal records than women. A lot of these cooks do fall in love with it and end up going on to become chefs with a good salary instead of living paycheck to paycheck.

That’s just my guess though.

As far as women in the kitchen at home: 1950’s TV and years and years of women being told “you don’t need to work, stay at home and raise the kids and make dinner” is my best guess.

We need to stop all stereotyping! Root it out in yourselves, people – that’s the best place to start.

If you’re a man who likes to cook, tell us in the comments whether anyone in your life thinks it’s strange, or gives you a hard time.

The post “If Most People Think of Chefs as Male, Why Is Cooking at Home Thought of as Woman’s Work?” Here’s How People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About the Question: How Are We Supposed to Save The Planet When It’s Cheaper to Trash It?

Reddit has a forum called “No Stupid Question,” and this one is pretty great.

The OP (original poster) points out that even if a person wants to do the right thing for the environment and the planet and such, the fact that it’s literally cheaper to like, throw out your entire printer instead of buying a new ink cartridge make it hard.

How are you supposed to do what’s best for the environment when it’s cheaper to purchase a whole new printer than it is to buy ink cartridges? from NoStupidQuestions

That’s just one example of course.

Let’s see what these 16 folks had to say in reply to his not-a-stupid question, shall we?

16. Be the bigger person.

Same way you expect governments and corporations to spend money to protect environment – you do what you know is best even if it costs more or is less convenient.

Also last I heard you can refill the cartridges instead of buying new ones

15. You might just have to work harder.

Assuming you’re using printers and cartridges as an example, that’s the point. Environmental damage exists because it is in general easier and cheaper to do things that are worse for the environment.

This ranges from throwing recyclables away instead of recycling, to chemical plants throwing unprocessed waste away directly into rivers.

At some point, you have to evaluate whether the damage to the environment of some action is “worth” the alternative.

In your case, this would be the cost of buying ink cartridges rather than new printers (buy a laser printer).

14. Make a choice.

If you’re concerned about the environment, you do the thing that’s better for the environment… If and when you can.

You’re not compelled to do the cheapest thing possible all the time, to the detriment of your values.

13. A fair alternative, at least in this case.

I guess the best you can do is recycle the old printer, but even then, you can’t guarantee that any of the components will actually be put to use.

12. They’re trying…sort of.

Fortunately, manufacturers have started bringing refillable ink tanks to their printers. Canon G2000 for example, comes with a full tank of ink that should last a home user a couple of years.

And refilling it is quite reasonable. 40$ gets you all the colors you need and lasts another couple of years.

It has it’s drawbacks though. For example if you don’t print that much, air can get into the ink tubes which is easily fixed by a printer cleaning but it’s troublesome.

11. The more you know.

Here. From PC World:

Costco inkjet refills ($8 to $10, plus sales tax where applicable; HP 60 refill for black or tricolor cartridge, $8) Vendor URL: Costco Inkjet Refill Service

10. You’re probably wrong.

I simply stopped using a printer. I have “needed” to print something exactly 4 times at home since 1999.

When I need to print, I go to Staples/FedEx/whatever is nearby somewhere I will already be anyway.

You may think “that’s ridiculous, I cant stop printing?!?”… Well tbh, you’re probably wrong, and if you think about it very little of what you’ve printed has needed to be printed, or at least been printed immediately at home, on demand.

9. If you want to get technical about it.

The best thing you can do for the environment is elect a government that will enact systemic reforms forcing corporations to pay the cost of repairing the damage they do to the environment.

The printer isn’t particularly relevant.

8. Yeah, man. Totally.

Planned obsolescence is the enemy of the environment.

7. Damn the man.

You’re not. The idea that any individual person can significantly impact the environment—by reusing bags, by buying a Prius, by turning down the AC in the summer, by buying organic—is a myth propagated by large corporations to shirk responsibility for modern climate change.

Within the current dominant economic system (i.e., capitalism), not only is it completely impossible to live in an eco-friendly way, but even if you could do that, you’re only 1 person out of 7.5 billion (and counting). You have no power to help the planet except by fighting capitalism. Capitalism’s only way to exist is to grow, extract, grow, extract, grow, extract, ad infinitum, which is not sustainable. Capitalism can never coexist with widespread, genuine care for nature.

Also, capitalism is inherently both racist and imperialist (look up “mlk three evils”).

We gotta change this sh%t up.

6. Invest in quality.

As people point out there are better lasting printers out there, but a lot of people think affordable rather than long term.

In terms of printers, i’ve rarely needed one so buying a new one has literally been every 7 or 8 years.

But its the same for a lot of things people buy. Why is it cheaper to buy a heap of junk food instead of eating healthy? Because junk food tastes nice and people will buy more of it than health food.

I once bought shoes from Kmart for $30 and in a month became so uncomfortable, they were torture to stand/walk in. Saved my pennies and bought them from a proper shoe shop for $180 and 6 years later they are still going strong.

Those who make cheap things with shoddy quality dont care about the environment.

5. Well maybe you can make a difference?

This isn’t entirely true, I’m actually studying sustainability and climate change and thought it is true that an individual’s chooses have less of an impact that that of a large company it can still have a significant effect. People indirectly control the industry if 10% of people stop buying beef that’s a 10% drop in profit for beef producers. That can have a serious effect on how a company operates so while it is important to change the policy regulating large corporations it is still important for individuals to live more sustainability especially since the implementation of new policy is painfully slow.

If anyone wants advice on some minor changes you can make to live more sustainability here are some of the best things you can do.

fly only when absolutely necessary. Flying is one of the most environmentally damaging things an individual can do if possible drive or take a train/bus.
reduce your consumption of beef and dairy products. Cows are responsible for a significant amount of global warming due to their emission of methane which is a much better greenhouse gases than CO2. Cows are the biggest offender but generally meat is the worst offender the least environmentally damaging meat that is available is chicken.

try to repair devices and applications whey they have broken and simply buy less stuff especially if it is single use this reduces your impact as you will consume less and will cause you to produce less waste.

4. I think it’s the walking that’s the key.

Personally, I walk to the library or the UPS store.

This is one of the reasons cities are a pretty eco way to live—strangers can share instead of buying their own shit.

3. Just wait for evolution to catch up.

We need to evolve as a people. It has to do with consumer demand. We need to demand longer lasting or products.

Maybe have our government s subsidize the good stuff. And tax the single use type crap.

2. Even that’s a scam.

Recycling has so much better of a reputation than it deserves. It’s just one small step above throwing stuff straight in the garbage.

“Reduce, Reuse, Recycle” is in priority order. Recycling is a last ditch option before throwing stuff away. The best option is to just use less stuff.

1. We can only do so much one person at a time.

Doing what’s best for the environment isn’t really about what you and I do day to day. On an individual level, we could be vegan as fuck and be completely carbon neutral without making a dent on the vast, global environment. Even that #TeamTrees thing on YouTube will do next to nothing, as great as that was.

What needs to happen is companies and governments need to take immediate, drastic action. That’s the only way we can save the planet. If you still want to do something yourself, then the best thing to do is get involved in politics and campaigns, and make sure to vote for people who genuinely want to tackle the climate crisis.

Of course consumers are gonna pick the cheapest options that are worse for the environment. Especially if they have to pick between the environment or feeding their kids. It’s up to companies and those in charge to make the more environmentally friendly options more accessible.

It’s kind of depressing when you lay it all out like that, don’t you think?

What are your thoughts on companies making it harder than it should be to do the right thing?

Let’s talk about it in the comments!

The post People Talk About the Question: How Are We Supposed to Save The Planet When It’s Cheaper to Trash It? appeared first on UberFacts.

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Do You Feel More Like an Observer in Life Than a Participant? 14 People Share Their Thoughts.

If you haven’t realized by now that it takes all sorts of people to make the world go ’round, well, you probably haven’t been paying attention. We’re all made up a bit differently – some introverts, some extroverts, some who want attention and others who shun it.

Those are just a few examples, but what happens when you’re dissatisfied with what seems to be your lot in life?

This OP (original poster) is wondering whether feeling like an observer of life instead of someone living their life is normal…and if it’s ok.

Does anyone else feel like they’re just an observer and not an active participant in life? from NoStupidQuestions

These 14 people have some great thoughts on the matter.

14. It could be anything. Or just a human thing.

Really! I’ve been saying this about myself for decades. I looked up depression and every definition or take on it. I know that’s not a diagnosis but I feel like I’m not depressed. A pussy maybe? An avoider of tangled webs? Sure. Someone who just doesn’t really care? Definitely. I remember reading that people felt weird eating alone or going to the movies alone. It never crossed my mind just like this.

I’m just generally amused by observing. I hate to say it but it’s the only thing that fits. Nihilist maybe? Cringy, I know.

I sleep because I’m sleepy. I eat because I’m hungry. I do whatever I feel is bothering me the most in the moment. That is as far as purpose as I’ll go. As far as meaningful stuff in the future that will inevitably come up, I’ll cross that road when it comes but try not to look back in regret.

Go ahead and give me an online diagnosis based just on what I wrote. It’s ok, it’s free so I’ll take it with a grain of salt!

13. Get out and do it…someday.

i feel that way because i never really do anything. even though i want this life full of adventure and crazy stories.

i never go out and make them happen.

i kind of just exist, like i always have

12. It might be depression.

High functioning depression sounds like this.

I’ve always enjoyed people watching and observing rather than doing. But then I force myself to do a lot of things even though I never truly enjoy them, seeing my friends/family enjoy that I’m there is something.

Making others happy around you makes you feel like your life has more meaning and a purpose.

11. The grass is not always greener.

I lead a life that most people think is full of adventure and crazy stories, and somehow I often feel like the observer too.

10. It might be the worse kind of depression.

as someone with severe depression who gets dissociation, depersonalization and derealisation I disagree.

dissociating is extremely unpleasant

9. No one’s life is all highlights.

One thing I’ve read is, “Don’t compare someone else’s highlight reel to your behind the scenes footage.”

I think that’s important to remember.

8. Some people are just happy being alone.

Yeah, I feel like I’ve observed my whole life and never really participated, but I’ve pretty much always been ok with it. I never thought it was a problem. I’ve always been ok with being the only person in my life. I love doing things alone.

When I’m with others, especially groups, I very much struggle to find meaning in the interactions so I basically just observe, but not in a sad way, I just don’t feel the need to participate unless I’m doing so in a way that is meaningful/helpful.

I was diagnosed with depression a few years back and I’ve been “managing” it ever since. But the funny thing is, when I look back to when I was a child, I felt the same. And even looking into the future, if I end up with someone, or have kids or whatever, I feel like it won’t change the core of my default mode.

But like I said, I’m not unhappy with it. It just is what it is and I don’t mind haha

7. Being left behind doesn’t feel great.

Yeah.

For a couple of years I’ve kind of just feel like I’m invisible or something.

Or like I’m stuck in place while everyone else goes on without me. Feels bad, man.

6. Don’t worry about pretending.

I’m on the exact same page, man.

I don’t care about diagnoses.

My behavior is the result of my nihilistic perspective and I’m fine with it.

I’m not happy about it. I’m not sad about it. But I’m definitely over trying to pretend that I care about things that I don’t.

The biggest stressor in my life is my family trying to convince me that something’s wrong. I take care of myself. I eat well. I exercise. I have no debt or dependents.

I could disappear right now and nobody’s life would be interrupted.

5. There are ways up and out.

I felt like this for years.

Struggled with depression, anxiety, and a slew of other things during that time. Last year, I got a job at a Juvenile treatment center, more specifically a trauma center. Got some promotions, started making good money and became pretty well liked at work. Since then I’ve made a lot of really good friends (funny how stress and really crazy situations bring people together) and I’ve been a lot happier.

Helping kids and having people who look to me when shit hits the fan has really done a lot for my confidence in life. Doing odd jobs before, and going through the motions, without putting effort into work or my relationships really did make me feel like I just kind of existed. I’m like, waaaaay more tired all the time now, but at least I have a lot of good reasons to wake up in the morning now.

4. Huh.

Depersonalization.

Everything is so surreal and I feel like I’m watching my life play out. I’m aware, but not aware. Often I’ll know where I am physically, but not know where I am physically. It’s pretty f*cking wack just basically being a ghost unable to grasp the world around you.

3. Hold your breath and leap.

The “stuck in place” part hit me hard. Wanting to change and develop yourself, but never really getting closer to where you want to be is a shitty feeling. I don’t have the perfect plan for overcoming this, but i do think that the “just go for it” method is a possible solution.

Going for opportunities and being in uncomfortable situations made me happier and more socially active. Creating opportunities, like finally getting a job was also helpful and made me feel a bit of accomplishment.

I wish you the best, truly and i hope you find yourself in control over your life soon. Stay strong my man.

2. Find your meaning.

This happened to me when I went to University. I was the second best student in my class in college, I was proud of that fact.

As soon as I went to Uni I realized just how small I am how pointless everything was as there’s another 300 people just like me doing this course, another 30,000 around the country doing the same thing. Why should I try If someone else could easily replace me. If theres another 30,000 people doing this course then why should I try, why should I bother with anything.

I actually dropped out of Uni after my second year because of depression. Went to a therapist for a handful of sessions before going on antidepressants for a year.

Feel much better now and really enjoy life, especially the new course im doing at uni ?

1. It never hurts to get a professional opinion.

I went through this big time in college. The best description I found was from a song. “Have you ever walked through a room But it was more like the room passed around you? Like there was a leash around your neck that pulled you through…”

But yea. That’s a sign of depression. Start by putting extra effort into connecting with friends and family. If that’s either too hard to do or not enough to help you out I suggest talking to a professional.

I think everyone feels this way sometimes, but it would be disconcerting to feel this way all the time.

If you’ve got thoughts of your own, share them with us in the comments!

The post Do You Feel More Like an Observer in Life Than a Participant? 14 People Share Their Thoughts. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Two-Sentence Horror Stories That Are Legit Scary

You don’t need many words to make a big impact on a story – you just need the right words. 500 pages or, in these 13 cases, just a few sentences, it doesn’t matter.

If you’ve got something scary, bring the goods and the goosebumps will find your readers.

13. I screamed a little.

It sat on my shelf, with thoughtless porcelain eyes and the prettiest pink doll dress I could find.

Why did she have to be born still?

12. Parents have nightmares, too.

I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed.”

I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy there’s somebody on my bed.”

11. It’s always a face.

The grinning face stared at me from the darkness beyond my bedroom window.

I live on the 14th floor.

10. There’s a whole story here.

The doctors told the amputee he might experience a phantom limb from time to time.

Nobody prepared him for the moments though, when he felt cold fingers brush across his phantom hand.

9. Definitely a ghost.

There was a picture in my phone of me sleeping.

I live alone.

8. Speaks to a primal fear.

I can’t move, breathe, speak or hear and it’s so dark all the time.

If I knew it would be this lonely, I would have been cremated instead.

7. Only one sentence. Boom.

I just saw my reflection blink.

6. Never look up.

Don’t be scared of the monsters, just look for them.

Look to your left, to your right, under your bed, behind your dresser, in your closet but never look up, she hates being seen.

5. Ghost stories, man.

Working the night shift alone tonight.

There is a face in the cellar staring at the security camera.

4. It’s the “again” that does it.

I woke up to hear knocking on glass.

At first, I though it was the window until I heard it come from the mirror again.

3. 80s kids everywhere know a party is about to start.

They delivered the mannequins in bubble wrap.

From the main room I begin to hear popping.

2. I don’t like that at all.

They celebrated the first successful cryogenic freezing.

He had no way of letting them know he was still conscious.

1. It wasn’t me.

She asked why I was breathing so heavily.

I wasn’t.

Some of these sent a shiver straight down my spine!

Which one got to you the most? Tell us in the comments.

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Two-Sentence Stories That Will Send Chills Down Your Spine

Some authors, such as Stephen King, use a whole lot of words to scare the pants off their readers.

To be fair, sometimes Stephen King writes short stories that are just as scary, but no matter how brief those tales turn out to be, they’re all shorter than two sentences.

Which is what makes these 11 spine-tingling stories all the more special, if you ask me – read through and see whether or not you agree!

11. I want to read more.

The funeral attendees never came out of the catacombs.

Something locked the crypt door from the inside.

10. Alone in the dark.

You get home, tired after a long day’s work and ready for a relaxing night alone.

You reach for the light switch, but another hand is already there.

9. It’s happening again…

My wife woke me up last night to tell me there was an intruder in our house.

She was murdered by an intruder 2 years ago.

8. That second sentence catches your breath.

My daughter won’t stop crying and screaming in the middle of the night.

I visit her grave and ask her to stop, but it doesn’t help.

7. Everyone’s scared of being buried alive.

I was having a pleasant dream when what sounded like hammering woke me.

After that, I could barely hear the muffled sound of dirt covering the coffin over my own screams.

6. Scary enough.

Day 312.

Internet still not working.

5. Run!

You hear your mom calling you into the kitchen.

As you are heading down the stairs you hear a whisper from the closet saying “Don’t go down there honey, I heard it too.”

4. Like…how far back?

I kiss my wife and daughter goodnight before I go to sleep.

When I wake up, I’m in a padded room and the nurses tell me it was just a dream.

3. Every parent’s nightmare. One of them, anyway.

She went upstairs to check on her sleeping toddler.

The window was open and the bed was empty.

2. Never dangle your feet off!

You’re laying in bed and with your feet dangling out of the covers.

You feel a hand grab your feet.

1. Very well done.

“I can’t sleep” she whispered, crawling into bed with me.

I woke up cold, clutching the dress she was buried in.

Eep! I shouldn’t have read through these in the dark.

Did any of these really make your stomach drop? Tell us which in the comments!

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People Talk About This Question: The IRS Knows What We Owe, So Why Don’t They Send Bills Instead of Making Us Do Taxes?

I feel the sentiment behind this question to the depths of my soul I hate doing taxes. Loathe them.

As someone who is self-employed, though, I know why the IRS wants us to do our own taxes – they figure we’re going to cop to income they might not know about specifically.

That, or we’re going to report giving income to someone else who doesn’t report it, something like that.

Also, though, they would have no way of knowing about expenses, etc, if we didn’t tell them, but that said, the majority of single income, W2 earners aren’t coming up with any of those surprises.

Here are 17 other reasons the IRS is probably never going to let you out of this chore.

17. Stay paranoid, people.

This is one of the few actual answers. Taxes as a way to 1) collect government funds and 2) encourage certain behaviors. The govt wants an educated population. How does the government know how much you spent on education expenses? How does the government know if you gave anything to charity? And on the business side of tax, how do they know how much money a business has come from debt? Companies don’t want to much debt because it makes it more risky, but interest is tax deductible.

You don’t want the government knowing all of your whereabouts. This is how you get government overreach. To ensure that you gave them the correct amount, they do compare it to how much your employers report, but they actually use a statistical method called sampling to randomly (but also not so randomly to the people who are way off) decide whether to send someone to verify of what was reported was correct. The penalties of knowingly lying on your taxes is huge.

Can you get away with not reporting other income? Probably, but in an audit, if this is a large amount that went unreported you are going to have some problems.

16. It’s all about the money.

Because the tax preparation industry is huge and makes billions of dollars off this system. Everyone of your financial institutions reports your finances to the IRS so yes they already know how much you owe. Ronald Reagan wanted to make file taxes and easy as getting a bill but couldn’t because companies like H & R Block are huge lobbyist.

15. And all trails lead to Washington’s pockets.

To influence tax law by lobbying, implies legislators are willing to be influenced by lobbying, instead of doing their jobs and representing the people.

When are we going to start blaming those legislators?

14. It’s simple…for some people.

They don’t know how much you owe.

They know what your W-2 says, and what any 1099s you received say.

They don’t know if you had extra income that wasn’t reported – drug sales, lemonade stand, gambling winnings, etc.

They don’t know what deductions you have – new baby, high medical expenses, gambling losses, student loan or mortgage interest, etc.

If you used the correct withholding information, and only had a steady salary that was reported properly – then withholding should have taken enough money.

They probably owe you money, but you have to file to get it back.

13. Because they enjoy the confusion.

Had an old boss who was a prior ordering clerk of some sort in the US Navy. He explained to me many times how they were often required to order compulsory supplies from inter-government agencies that were ridiculously inflated compared to any other private vendor, and a bunch of other things that pointed to it all basically being a giant, cannibalistic method of basically laundering money around the system from within.

This was explained to me at a hazmat job I did for a while, one year as we all waited for the EPA to shake us down like they did every year, despite our following the prior stated rules and regs to the letter, through their purposely vague definitions of some criteria and ability to have changed some written minutiae between visits that there is almost no way to be aware of unless you work for them.

I also worked for the IRS briefly as a CSR during filing seasons, and I can fully confirm that requiring taxpayers to do their own return only results in confusion, mistakes and a shitload of paid government employees.

12. It’s all very complicated.

That would be a while lot easier, but we have a more complex and layered system I guess.
We pay federal income tax, many of us pay state income tax, property owners pay county property taxes, and some of us pay city payroll taxes. When we file, we get credits across some of those different jurisdictions for what we paid. Of course, that’s totally separate from the various excise and sales taxes paid on good or services.

We’ve also got a lot of industry pressure from companies that either hire accountants for tax time (like H&R Block), or that sell software for filing taxes. They are making money by keeping the system complex and inaccessible.

11. Like I said.

They don’t always know how much you owe. People with really simple taxes, a W-2 and a basic 1099-int, maybe. The gov. generally knows only your income, and then, not always.

They don’t know your deductions and trusting their bill would result in overpayment of taxes, especially if you are involved in any type business, have more complex investments, or use any deductions such as spending on childcare for example.

There are many deductions and credits that the gov’t does not track or know about unless you tell them via filing a tax return.

10. Ah, sweet summer children with deductions and refunds.

If the government knows how much I owe.

They know how much your employer reported to you.

THAT IS ALL.

​They have no idea what you’re going to claim.

​If you have “simple” taxes. one paycheck, one job. one house, no kids, etc… no, it doesn’t make “much sense”..

But once you get into anything more sophisticated, there are MANY reasons..

9. You might not like the result.

This already basically happens.

If you don’t file your tax return they will calculate it with their default values and bill you for it.

Since you don’t get any deductions its typically higher than if you filed. If they got rid of the late filing penalties and just sent you the bill then it would basically be what everyone is asking for.

8. No stepping on toes.

Because TurboTax lobbies to keep the tax system complicated and difficult.

The IRS is legally forbidden from using the information they already have to do your taxes for you, because that’d step on the profits of the tax-prep industry.

7. Some people ruin it for the rest of us.

This is also part of why taxes are so complicated. The more complicated, the more likely you’re going to use those tax services.

Also, some taxes codes are complicated because of thieves trying to find loopholes to not pay their fair share of taxes.

6. You don’t even know what a write-off is…

Your answer is write offs. If you track your spending in work related things, they are tax write offs to help you get money back. Any interest paid on a mortgage, vehicle milage for work excluding commute, home office supplies, work clothes, work meals, moving for work, all examples of tax write offs. Generally I have 12k-15k in write offs each year.

If they just sent me a bill or for some, their return, you wouldn’t get to include all your write offs.

All these people saying it’s a scam for H&R block or turbo tax are dead wrong. A vast majority of the country files taxes and uses write offs. Just because the ignorant few aren’t taking advantage of this system, does not make it some big conspiracy.

5. Of course it is.

I’m from Europe and that is how it’s done in every European country.

4. Ding ding ding.

I am an independent contractor, so there is no way at all the government knows how much I make, let alone my expenses.

They could make predictive calculations based on the industry, but there are probably only a few thousand of us in the US, and incomes vary quite a bit, so I would not like to see their guess.

3. That sounds heavenly.

Even in Greece, the bottom of the barrel, I login into the tax site, and it has already autocompleted everything. I can always do some tweaks if something has changed and slipped through the cracks

2. It’s a slippery slope.

Continue with that kind of thinking and you’ll be questioning why we don’t have a fair tax code that forces the highest earners to pay the highest percentage of their earnings in tax!

1. They need you to rat on yourself.

They don’t know how much you owe, they just have a vague idea.

They don’t know if you made income from an alternative source that didn’t show up on a W2 or 1099, and they don’t know what deductions and credits you plan to claim.

Man, I wish there was a way to avoid taxes.

Maybe someday I’ll be rich enough. Fingers crossed!

What do you think about this topic? Let us know in the comments!

The post People Talk About This Question: The IRS Knows What We Owe, So Why Don’t They Send Bills Instead of Making Us Do Taxes? appeared first on UberFacts.

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What’s the Dumbest Thing Someone Has Said to You? Here’s How People Responded.

I’m really trying to rack my brain about the dumbest thing someone has ever said to me and I gotta say that it’s pretty hard to narrow it down because there are so many qualified candidates.

I guess I’m just blessed…

Are you ready to meet some dummies?

Let’s dig in to some stories from AskReddit users.

1. Well, that’s odd…

“I work in a Government building, one day one of my college educated coworkers asked why there are doctors in the building moving furniture.

Having no clue what she was talking about I asked and she said you know all the guys in scrubs with DOC on the back.

We had hired prisoners to help clear the offices for renovation. DOC was for Department of Correction.”

2. Shocked.

“I was staying at a homestay/language center in South Korea last summer.

I was hanging around with some people and were chatting in English. One lovely lady, with all seriousness, said straight to my face that I don’t look like I’d speak English.

I mean…I’m ethnic Chinese and hold an ASEAN passport but English is a lingua franca like WE LEARN ENGLISH OVER HERE OKAY?

Anyway, sorry for surprising/shocking/amazing/disappointing you?”

3. Not really.

“I’m Jewish and while talking to someone about Hannukah, they said “Oh, that’s the Jewish Christmas.”

Ummm, no.”

4. It’s not fair!

“A student of mine wrote in the class evaluation: “One teacher doesn’t accept wrong answers.”

Still haunts me to this day….”

5. History buff.

“Guy online insisted the millions dead during WWII died only of Typhus.

I pointed out that guards would have died too, plus we had eyewitness accounts and testimony under oath from those who had “gassed” prisoners.

He refused to believe it.”

6. Oh, that’s why?

“I didn’t hear it, but apparently a kid in my social studies test said that Africans came here from Africa because it was better for people and they needed help.

My teacher literally called him an idiot. I’m talking about the slave trade, guys.”

7. SCIENCE.

“Someone in my 8th grade honors science asked the teacher “If we had 86 chromosomes, would we be a duck?”

The teacher and the rest of the class had a good laugh on that one.”

8. Only three states.

“A Puerto Rican girl friend of mine (living in the Bronx at the time) once said, in a group discussion about the different states we had visited, that she had only been to 3 states: New York, New Jersey, and upstate New York. (wait, what???)”

9. When’s Christmas?

“Back around the mid 1990s, when the internet was becoming common in homes, I used to chat in chat rooms.

I chatted to a girl who was about 20 at the time, from the US (me being in Australia.). She was talking about the heat, and I said it was winter here. I said our seasons were the opposite of the US.

So she says “So it’s summer in December there?”, I say yes, then she asks, in all seriousness, “Well when do you have Christmas, then?”.

Definitely the dumbest thing I’ve been asked, and still remember it 20 odd years later.”

10. Makes sense.

“I was in 5th grade and this kid sad that Jesus and Santa Claus are actually brothers but Santa left His family and did drugs.”

11. We need to talk.

“We went to Colorado and my brother back in Maryland, where it was fall, asked if it was summer in Colorado.”

12. That’s all it took.

“That apes evolved into humans when they learned to cook.”

13. You need some new friends.

“I have a friend who pretends to be rich, and once I told her about how I sometimes get bored of watching TV and she said, “well go outside and play on your go-carts, DUH. Oh yeah, you don’t have go-carts.”

Another time another friend (who was not very nice) told me I shouldn’t have given her a gift because I used it before. I said I was sorry to avoid an argument because she was always fighting with me, but I still want that thing back!”

14. Jeez.

“In the military, I had over a year of training in my highly technical field.

At my first duty station, I was sent to the Top Sergeants’ office and told since I was female, I would be working there, typing up documents. I replied that I couldn’t type, but I could repair the typewriter since I was trained in electronics repair.

They sent me back to the shop and got a trained office clerk.”

How about you?

What’s the stupidest thing that someone has ever said to you?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post What’s the Dumbest Thing Someone Has Said to You? Here’s How People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Discuss the Dumbest Thing a Person Has Ever Said to Them

What do you think is the dumbest thing a person has ever said to you?

I want you to think long and hard for a minute…

Okay, what did you come up with? Actually, hold that thought and save your stories for the comments section.

But first…

Let’s take a look at some really dumb things people actually said to folks from AskReddit.

1. A bright one.

“My sister, at 17 and a half years of age, said: “Is that why they’re called containers? Because they contain things?””

2. Not here to serve you.

“When I was around 10 my older brother had a friend who hung out at our place a lot.

One day as I walked through the room where the two of them were watching TV the friend stopped me. Apart from saying hello we never talked to each other before. He said I could pop into the kitchen and make some pancakes for them.

I said I wasn’t there to serve them and I didn’t even know how to make bloody pancakes. His stunned answer: “but… you’re a girl!””

3. The periodic table.

“A girl in 8th grade honors science asks, after our pleas and explanations that she shouldn’t embarrass herself, raises her hand and asks so the entire class can hear, “Why isn’t wood on the periodic table?”

I never liked her anyways.”

4. Not sure what that means.

“I overheard a kid in middle school tell his friend that Canadian hippies are legal when they cross the US/Canada border.”

5. It was faked!

“Get this: the moon landing was faked by Russian scientists trying to get us not to go to the moon.

And all of the astronauts were replaced by Russian clones.

Said by a kid in class…”

6. Science class.

“In 7th grade science, we were learning about fossils. Not a super in depth lesson, but just how they are created and how the affect the earth.

If you’ve never heard about Lucy, she was apparently found in a lake bed, fossilized from about 3 million years ago. She is one of the first “humanoid thingies” ever found.

Anyway, so we watched a video about her, and then the whole class was talking and suddenly a girl raised her hand and said, “how do they know what her name was?” and we had to legit explain it to her that scientists named her.

She was serious.”

7. Major eye roll.

“I am the product of an Irish American father and a Mexican mother (she is still a Mexican citizen).

In grade school, with mostly a Hispanic population, I was told that my mother was not Mexican because she wasn’t brown and didn’t have an accent.

My mom grew up speaking 3 languages, including English, from childhood. All I could do was roll my eyes at the ignorance.”

8. They’re out there…

“A friend of mine tried to convince me that mermaids were real.

His reasoning was because he saw the mockumentary about mermaids on discovery channel and were convinced they were real.

I expected that from my 6 year old niece but not from a 29 year old man.”

9. How rude!

“When I was 12 someone in my class asked if we could be friends.

I said no because she screamed at me every time I was late to class but then called me rude if I talked back (she was one of those kids that thought she was a teacher).

She said “BuT yOu ShOuLdN’t NoT bE fRiEnDs WiTh SoMeOnE jUsT bEcAuSe ThEy’Ve BeEn MeAn To YoU””

10. The trifecta.

“The earth is flat, the moon landing was fake, and my all time favorite, Karens aren’t a threat to society.”

11. Good Lord.

“My friend was pressuring me to take off my mask, she kept saying inhaling your own germs can kill you, especially when you’re breathing heavy.

Let’s just say, we don’t get along as well as we used to anymore.”

12. Wrong!

“”I went on a vacation to Hawaii and swam with Tortoises.”

This was my teacher, and he wouldn’t believe me that Tortoises couldn’t swim even after I looked it up.

He though Turtles from Hawaii were called Tortoises.”

13. Mullet lady.

“One time I was at Petco with my parrots and some random lady came and told me ”The only animal that should be here are dogs and they must have a face covering on”.

I know this sounds fake but this lady was wearing a mullet anything is possible.”

How about you?

What do you think is the stupidest thing someone has ever said to you?

Talk to us in the comments!

The post People Discuss the Dumbest Thing a Person Has Ever Said to Them appeared first on UberFacts.