What’s the Funniest Thing You Heard Someone Say or Do While Sleeping? Here’s What People Had to Say.

I have a confession to make: I sleeptalk. A lot.

And, in my younger days, I even took the occasional stroll in my sleep and scared the hell out of my parents and my siblings.

And if you’ve spent any time sleeping in the vicinity of other humans, you know that things can get really weird once the lights go out for the night.

AskReddit users talked about the funniest things they’ve seen folks do and say in their sleep.

1. Well, that’s weird.

“My ex-boyfriend sometimes talks in his sleep and the funniest story was this one time I was still up reading a book and I hadn’t noticed that he was already asleep next to me.

Suddenly he bursts out ” Will you just give me the f*cking yogurt already, Shannon!?” in a flawless British accent and scares the sh*t out of me.

We’re both German and none of our first languages include English. We didn’t know a Shannon. He’s lactose-intolerant.”

2. Making conversation.

“My girl woke up one night and said “Did you find your rocks?” and I asked her what she was talking about and she said “I don’t know, I’m just trying to make conversation.” and promptly went back to sleep.

She has no recollection of this.”

3. This is amazing.

“My boyfriend either recites postcodes (delivery driver) or calls the dog in his sleep.

So either he is mad no one is responding to his postcode nonsense or I get a flying 30 kg dog to my body.”

4. Horse.

“Once my ex said “horse.” That’s all. Just horse. But with a sense of urgency…

The same ex told me I once sat straight up in bed and mumbled, “Jesus, grandma, you scared the sh*t out of me.”

I had been dreaming that I was in bed at night and my grandma (still alive at the time) wandered into the room and stood at the end of the bed with a blank stare.”

5. It’s very fluffy.

“So this one time while my s/o was sleeping, she randomly reaches over and starts to pet my leg softly.

When I ask her what she’s doing she looks at me like I’m stupid and says “what does it look like? I’m petting this fluffy baby penguin.” Then pauses for a second, pats my leg again and blurts our “Wait this isn’t a penguin!”

I have never laughed so hard over someone talking in their sleep.”

6. Lost in the supermarket.

“My wife started screaming one night that she was lost in the local grocery store. And that no matter where she went she couldn’t find her way out.

I asked her has she tried checking out at the cash registers? She then looked at me and said in her most sincere voice, “that’s why you are the smartest person I know.”

And then she rolled over and fell back asleep.”

7. Wasn’t me!

“He farted very loudly and proceeded to say, “you got the wrong guy!””

8. Don’t move.

“One night, my boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night, tapping me on my shoulder. He put his finger on his mouth, whispered “shush” to me, then pointed at the door and told me “I can hear something, don’t move”.

Predictably, I nearly sh*t my pants. All the worst possible scenarios crossed my mind, and the moment of silence after he shushed me felt like hours.

Then, he started waving his hands and talking about Tetris, ‘the twirlies’ (idk), and making sure we don’t align… And that’s how I learnt my boyfriend talks in his sleep.”

9. Your wife is scary.

“My wife was an avid sleep talked for a long time and her midnight announcements range from simple single words to elaborate speeches. The ones that really stand out to me are:

Waking up in the middle of the night to her suddenly sitting violently up in bed, throwing back the covers, and screeeeaaaaming: “TARANTULA!!”. That will make you very awake, very quickly.

Whispering my name repeatedly which woke me up so she could share in a hushed, cautious voice: “There is an alligator in here.” When I expressed my concern (playing along) she told me, still whispering, that: “It’s okay. It has been here before.”

But my all time favorite was when, from her perspective as she later explained, she was dreaming that I was playfully sneaking up on her and she saw me and was calling me on it.

From my perspective, my wife sat up in the middle of the night, starting into the darkest corner of the room and said repeatedly in a soft sing-song voice: “I seeee youuuu.” My flipping blood froze.”

10. Well, this is weird.

“Years ago, my wife was mumbling in her sleep and seemed a bit upset. I wanted to comfort her, without waking her up too much, so I said, “Honey, you’re fine. Do you know where you are?”

She slugged me in the arm, and said “I’m in place where punch buggies are seen first.” She then rolled over and muttered to herself, “chugga-chugga-chugga-buggy”, and went back to sleep.

She didn’t remember a think the next morning.”

11. Mom.

“My mom sleepwalks sometimes.

When she was in the middle of her residency, she came into my room in the middle of the night and sharply asked, “Did you give {patient} her dose of {medication} like I asked you to 15 minutes ago?”

I groggily replied, “Who? Wha?”

She just huffed and said, “Well I guess that answers my question.” Before turning around and leaving. (without closing the door of course)

She didn’t remember a thing about it the next morning.”

12. Stop that!

“My boyfriend woke me up the other day by gently putting his fingers in my mouth and I kept moving my head out of the way until eventually I was like “can you stop that!!!”

He then sounded genuinely upset and asked why I woke him up as he was having a really nice dream about feeding a deer.

Brilliant.”

Have you ever heard someone say something really funny or weird in their sleep?

If so, please tell us all about it in the comments.

Thanks in advance!

The post What’s the Funniest Thing You Heard Someone Say or Do While Sleeping? Here’s What People Had to Say. appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About Things That Are a Lot Cheaper if You Do It Yourself

I wish I knew how to fix cars…

I supposed it’s never too late to learn new things, but it’s something that I just never took the time to figure out or explore when I was younger and I think it would be nice to be able to some of those basic maintenance things myself.

And it would be cheaper, too…

People on AskReddit talked about what is much cheaper if you do it yourself.

1. Give it a shot.

“Buying computer upgrades separate from the OEMs, like RAM and storage.

Apple is a perfect example. $1000 for 64 GB of RAM for an iMac.

You can buy 128 GB of RAM for $600 off Amazon.

What a ripoff.”

2. Get ‘er done!

“As a woman, anything related to our beauty saves me so much money!

Waxing, one on one lashes, manicure and pedicure, professional make up, hair extensions, etc etc etc.”

3. Let’s get fancy.

“Drinking fancy drinks.

A fancy cocktail at a restaurant or bar will run you about 7 dollars depending on what you get and where you go.

You can buy the ingredients and make it yourself, and end up paying less per drink than you would at the restaurant.”

4. Most vehicle stuff.

“Vehicle maintenance.

Not talking engine swaps or anything but most stuff is relatively easy to do and parts are cheap. Get a scanner that connects to an app on your phone and if the check engine light comes on see what the fix is. Watch a youtube, get a friend and some beers and try it yourself.

If you have a motorcycle change your own oil. I put in the best synthetic with a good filter for less than $70 while a dealer would charge me $120 for whatever oil they use. It takes maybe 5-10 minutes rather than dropping it at a dealer for the day and because it is so convenient I do it more often.”

5. Pest control.

“Minor pest control.

Buy some borax ant traps for crawling bugs, and buy an indoor bug zapper to kill flying bugs like flies and mosquitoes.

It’s like $20 for an indoor bug zapper and it was one of the best investments I ever made to stop getting bit by mosquitoes inside my house every summer.”

6. Good idea!

“When my aunt got a quote for how much it would cost to remodel her kitchen she was like “Forget that!” and took a basic carpentry course and remodelled it herself which ended up being much cheaper and influenced her future endeavours.

Now she does woodworking and has a pretty good business selling her work at art fairs and she restores and resells antique furniture for fun.”

7. Truth!

“Picking up your take away food.

Covid made it super convenient to order from services like Uber Eats, but when it’s all said and done, a $20 dinner is closer to $40 after service fees, delivery fees, and tips.”

8. Might as well try it.

“Making your own pizza.

Get the dough ingredients. Make a good batch of tomato sauce (freeze the rest) and get the toppings you want.

You’ll save labor and delivery costs.”

9. You can do it!

“Eating healthy.

It is very inexpensive and easy to prepare at home. So many people want to use the excuse ” I can’t afford to eat healthy!”.

Not true at all. If you can afford fast food, you can actually save money by eating healthy.

Vegetables and a protein source (chicken, fish, beef, pork, beans) are easily less than $20 a week per person.”

10. It adds up in a hurry.

“Coffee.

I lived in the US for a year as an exchange student a couple of years back and I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHY some people felt the need to go out EVERY SINGLE DAY to get coffee.

And some of the people I know didn’t even go to a regular Café, they went to F*CKING STARBUCKS EVERY SINGLE DAY. B*tch, just buy a f*cking coffee machine and make coffee at home.

“Oh, but I don’t like black coffee, I like other flavors and blablabla…”

First of all: go f*ck yourself. Second: you can learn how to make those complicated drinks in a weekend, you’re just too lazy to learn and too stupid to save money.”

11. Get busy!

“Cleaning.

It will be cheaper of you use grandma’s old cleaning solutions and a little bit of elbow grease.

Paying someone to clean for you might seem good but if you stop groaning and do it you will have it done in an hour or two.”

12. All kinds of things.

“Lots of things are very simple to fix, and parts are available online.

I’ve saved myself thousands by ordering parts online. I’ve fixed my washer and dryer, A/C, cars and trucks, computers etc. Lots of parts are easy interchange and diagnostics is usually pretty simple.

Plus most things only need simple hand tools.”

13. Bingo!

“Mowing your own lawn.

In addition to some good exercise and outdoor time, it gets you away from the kids for an hour as well!

What’s that honey? “RRRAAAAPPPPAAAA” I can’t hear you!””

What are some good DIY tips that you can share with us?

Talk to us in the comments!

We really appreciate it!

The post People Talk About Things That Are a Lot Cheaper if You Do It Yourself appeared first on UberFacts.

What Is Your Most Toxic Trait? Here’s How People Responded.

It can be really hard to take a long look in the mirror and admit the things about yourself that aren’t exactly great.

But sometimes it can be a useful exercise…even if you THINK you might be perfect.

If you had to admit it, what would you say is your most toxic trait?

Here’s how people on AskReddit responded.

1. Two big ones.

“I can’t let go of things and I take things way too personally.

I rationalize it like this “I wouldn’t dream of saying or doing something like that to this person, so why are they doing it to me?”.

Also, I procrastinate like no other. Seriously, you could give me a year, or 2 days to do something. Wouldn’t make a difference.”

2. Oversharing.

“Growing up feeling very unknown/unseen, I have a tendency to overshare and get excited if someone shows an interest in me. It can come across as overriding and waiting for someone to finish what they are saying just so I can say my thing.

I also want people to genuinely like me so I tell them a lot of the bad or difficult stuff right away, so they are pre-warned and I don’t feel like I’m wasting my time with someone who can’t handle the sh*t that lead to who I am now, and the people I still interact with on a semi-regular basis (mainly family).”

3. Need to be validated.

“Most of the time when I ask people for their opinions, I don’t actually want to hear their opinion.

Instead I want to hear my opinion come out of their mouth. I’m always hoping that they will have the same opinion as me because it makes me feel validated.

I don’t actually care about what they really think.”

4. Insecure.

“I’m extremely insecure and overthink a lot.

I feel constant fear of being disliked or abandoned.

I need a lot of reassurance in things because my anxiety makes me so scared and worried I either hold on too tight or I push people away even though I want them close which only end up hurting them more.”

5. Just can’t hide it.

“I’m not good at hiding my emotions. Specifically, if I’m in a bad mood, everyone knows it.

I used to be an absolute nightmare when I was younger because of it; I’d turn my bad mood into everyone’s bad mood. I don’t do that anymore, but I’m still not good at hiding it.”

6. High standards.

“I have impossibly high standards for myself and I tend to place this on others as well. Then I get p*ssy/grouchy when people fail me.

Deep down it is a self protection mechanism, having been let down by so many people, it is just easier to assume and expect the worst, that even the best of those I love will let me down.”

7. Checked out.

“I mentally checked out of my life.

Sometimes i just sleep for half of my worktime (thanks covid) and after work drink and watch sh*t on Netflix. Rinse and repeat, anticipating weekend. Then friday arrives and i feel even worse (counterintuitive, isn’t it?).

I know i should find me some new stimuli/tasks/hobby/anything but i… Idk? Can’t be bothered?”

8. Back to me.

“I talk about myself way too much and don’t ask about the other person nearly enough.

Probably not my most toxic trait but definitely the one that’s giving me issues at the moment.”

9. Might be time to reach out.

“I’m bad at keeping in touch with people I care about.

The phrase out of sight out of mind is really true for me. I tend to just be absorbed by what’s right in front of me. It’s very rare that I would have a thought like I wonder how my sister is doing or I wonder how such-and-such friend is doing after xyz event or even I wonder how my girlfriends day is going.

I care about these people obviously, but they also don’t seem to naturally occur to me in my daily thoughts. This unfortunately leaves it up to everyone else to reach out to me, to hang, to make the invitation, to chat, etc. I’m always super stoked when they do, but I regret putting that on them. I’m fortunate that they do all make the effort.

I am a good friend… like with anything else I do, when I’m with someone I’m very much absorbed in that interaction, so that I think helps put away any doubts about my interest in the relationship.”

10. Ingrained in you.

“Because my father was and is a huge racist, I still have racist thoughts that I am fully ashamed of and I know they are wrong.

It’s just ingrained into me sadly.”

11. Holding grudges.

“I hold grudges basically forever and I hate it.

To put things in perspective with a little example, a childhood friend one time did something mean to me when we were 7. We kept talking after that, but whenever we did I would remember that day with ridiculous detail like it was etched with a laser on my brain.

I finally let go of that grudge one day when we were casually remembering childhood moments and she remembered that day and apologized. About 20 years later.”

12. At least you’re aware of it.

“I’m manipulative and selfish.

I just finally accepted that a few months ago. I can’t even tell you guys or anyone else the things I’ve done. Even though I regret them now and know they’re wrong I know for a fact I’d have Redditors screaming at me for being a selfish prick.

In vague terms, I’ve used people, lied, guilted, and messed with the system to get what I want and never really thought of it as manipulative until I got on meds and got some help.”

13. Time to recharge.

“I’m emotionally unavailable. Sometimes I just disappear.

My closest friends understand this but it’s off putting for new friendships. It’s nothing personal, I just need to recharge.”

Okay, now we want to hear from you…

What do you think is your most toxic trait?

Talk to us in the comments and spill your guts!

The post What Is Your Most Toxic Trait? Here’s How People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

Hairdressers Discuss the Things You Do That They Love And Really Dislike

I don’t know a single person who hasn’t been uncomfortable at a hair salon.

It’s a strange power dynamic, they’re in charge of your looks, and you’re never quite sure what you should talk about for all of those endless minutes.

If you’ve ever wondered if you’re doing the right thing or not, these 14 hairdressers are baring it all.

14. Ew, I never thought about that.

Always clean your ears before a haircut you don’t want someone up that close to you with waxy manky ears ??

13. It’s awkward for both of us.

Please don’t keep your eyes open when washing, it’s kinda awkward if you know someone is staring right up your nostrils.

Be clear in what you want, preferably already know what you want before you sit down in our chairs, having the “do I want pink or do I want blond oh I just don’t know” conversation is really annoying because it takes time we could use in a better way and honestly I’m down for both and it’s not my head so I’m not going to make that decision for you.

If we are done with a cut, please don’t “help” with removing the hair, your not removing it you are actually making it worse by patting it into your clothes, sticking to your skin and letting it fall into your shoes. We know how itchy it can get when you do that.

You don’t have to talk, you don’t have to be silent, just know that we are stylists first and not necessarily therapists, if you tell me you are going to hurt yourself I’m not equipped with helping you with that. We can have a good chat, I can tell you about my struggles and you can tell me yours, but really talk to someone who actually knows how to help and deal with that. It can be a very hard thing to hear for us too.

Please remember we are human, we have lives and families too, so sometimes we are a little less happy, it’s not that we hate you, maybe we lost someone close to us or are going through a break up. Working when you know that any moment now you’ll get a call saying someone died is making it hard to be super cheery. We don’t have to share those things.

Please be realistic when it comes to hair. Good hair isn’t cheap and cheap hair isn’t good. We need to work with what you have, and if you want the impossible, it’s impossible. Its not about not being able to. It’s being realistic. “But she can go from red to blond in a week” no babe, that’s a wig, and your hair won’t make it. Pick something else, either lay down Some serious money and follow the exact care and time instructions, or stop arguing.

Most stylists aren’t making bank, in fact it’s a very low paying job, we are on our feet all day dealing with chemicals and work in positions that aren’t always good for our backs/hands/wrists/shoulders. Its not unusual if we don’t have time for the bathroom or to eat. Many times I have been busy from the moment the door opens until it closes, and still won’t have eating anything. It’s very very hard work, and after we’re done, every single person in my team is done talking for the day and need some winding down time. we are perfectionists and passionate in our jobs. We do it because we love it and the people, but a lot of us are struggling. Especially now, so be kind to us.

12. That second one made me lol.

My wife has cut hair for aver a decade.

From what I’ve learned do two things.

1. Wash your hair at least a day or two before getting it cut.

2. Look at a ruler to understand how units of measurement work.

11. They just want you to be honest.

Hairdresser here.

I had cancer, I want my hair to be long again to my mid back. Can you help me get there? If it were me doing your hair I would suggest just cleaning it up and making it look like you have a style even when you are going through the awkward parts of growing it out.

Often it entails keeping the back short to keep the mullet at bay until the top and sides have had a chance to catch up. Once your hair is at a chin length bob or so, it will be easier to then let it all grow from there. Hair grows average a half inch per month. That’s 6 inches a year. If you have a buzz cut now, 6 inches will be about Bob length. Another year then you’re approaching your goal length.

Keep getting light trims, every 3-4 months or so to keep split ends away.

10. Have some guts.

Former hairstylist, don’t ask to have an inch off all over and then “we can go from there if I want more.”

That’s asking me to do two haircuts, come on.

9. Don’t lift your head.

Helpful- Bringing pictures of what you would like. Visuals are always helpful.

Unhelpful- Lifting your head up to try and help us while we shampoo your hair. This actually makes things more difficult and can end up getting your shirt and/or the floor wet if you lift when we are not ready for it or if you lift your head too high. Just relax your neck and enjoy the scalp massage, we will support and lift your head when we need to.

8. Don’t ever cut your hair in anger.

Do NOT come to the stylist in a raging fit because your boyfriend hurt your feelings so now you’re going to cut your long hair into a pixie to show that you have control over your life.

No matter how awesome it looks, you WILL hate it, you WILL cry, and you will HATE us for allowing you to do it.

This is why stylists will always try to talk you down off that ledge, and many will offer a slower transition (“Let’s try a shoulder length bob!”) or refuse you completely. It’s not that we hate you. We want you to love us and come back, but if you hate your hair you’ll hate us by extension.

7. Well ok then.

DON’T ?

ASK ?

FOR ?

ANIME ?

HAIR ?

6. You have to pony up the dough.

People who are willing to spend 6 hours and $400+ on a fantasy color such as pink, blue, purple etc. Only to not buy professional salon products. I only recommend to my guests what they absolutely need!

The shampoo and conditioner that we have at the salon is made for specific types of hair with special ingredients. If you use herbal essences, Pantene, or tresemme (basically 90% of any shampoo you can find at the grocery store) on a color like that, it will completely wash out the first time you shampoo your hair.

They have a higher pH and will strip your hair. Also they have waxes and silicones that will deposit onto your hair strand to make it feel soft, but really it’s preventing any type of moisture into your hair strand.

5. It’s fine to say you just want a trim.

Barber of 13 years here, clients say this to me at least 3x a day. It’s absolutely fine and perfectly reasonable if you like the shape of the hairstyle but want a shorter length.

Any barber who can’t understand how to execute that shouldn’t be licensed.

4. Be on time!

✂Hairdresser here for a high end salon

Helpful: Bringing a picture (or a couple with similar pictures) of what you want. Try and match your natural hair texture to the texture in the picture. Be realistic if the hair color is making you love the cut-not the cut itself. Good tipping (hey being honest). Finding a stylist you like the overall vibe of. If making a big cut-tell the front desk that when making appointment so they can alert the stylist ahead of time. Willing to understand sometimes a style won’t work for your lifestyle/face/upkeep and we need to find something else

Not helpful: Being late for appointment. Being rude/ telling stylist how to complete the service (if you don’t trust the hairdresser to complete the service I recommend seeing another stylist) Wiggling/Nodding-or not containing children who do so. Dirty/greasy hair Wearing a turtleneck/hoodie to appointment…..?‍♀️

3. If you have curly hair, you have to find the right person to cut it.

Not a hairdresser but someone who cuts my own and friends/family hair because I got tired of not being listened to by professionals :

Curly hair should not be cut wet. I used to not mind the way it looked right after being cut (when they blow dried / straightened the crap out of it) but then I’d go home, shower, and discover it was too short and badly shaped when curly again.

A good hairdresser will cut curly hair dry or slightly damp so they can see the shape and real length.

2. Mind your body.

Don’t switch how you’re sitting halfway through the cut! Even crossing/uncrossing your legs can make a difference in how the cut turns out!

1. Be polite, and don’t expect miracles.

Mother who’s a retired hairdresser

Helpful:

if it a style your looking for, bring in a good, quality photo of your style. Don’t bring in cropped, wig photos because your hair isn’t not like a styling head.
communicate with your stylist about what you want and don’t want. If you want to try a product or trimmed in a specific way, let the stylist know! They cannot be mind readers of your needs and wants.
be realistic about your hair style. Certain styles are better for one hair type over another. If your hair has more breakage for a style that is more for a thicker type, do not judge the hairstylist trying to accommodate you. They’re trying to make you happy and they’re trying their best to adjust to that hair type for that style by doing things one way over another.
Unhelpful:

don’t blast off at the stylist who tried to “up sell” products, they hate it just as much as you do. Just be polite to say no if you don’t want it. They’re aren’t trying to spike up your bill, they have to follow selling guidelines otherwise they’ll get marks on their reports for not selling enough.

if they notice anything off about your hair (mostly lice or something very hazard-like) they have to deny due to protocols. DO NOT scream at them and demand them to do it. They have to be careful with certain things that could possibly be transmitted home to their loved ones or other customers. My mother had to deny a child because this poor kid had over 40+ ticks in his hair and she did not want the ticks to run around (they’re very hard to kill). The mother screamed about it at my mother but protocol had to be followed. Most will be kind enough to let you know how to treat the problem and will gladly accept you back once your able to control your situation.

do not move around like you just drank a bunch of caffeine. There is risk of getting cut, poor cuts on the hair and much more. Moving around makes it worse not only for you but for the hairstylists who would have to redo it again.

I’m definitely appreciative of these tips.

If you’re a hairdresser and you’ve got any more, share them with us in the comments!

The post Hairdressers Discuss the Things You Do That They Love And Really Dislike appeared first on UberFacts.

What Do You Think is Your Favorite Silly Joke? Here’s What People Said.

It can be hard to come up with new material to make folks laugh.

You want to entertain them and continue to make them think that you’re the funniest person on the planet, but a lot of the time you don’t have enough time in the day to come up with new material.

So what can we do about that…?

I know, we can steal some jokes from other funny folks!

What’s your favorite silly joke?

Let’s see what people on AskReddit had to say about this.

1. Oh, man…

“American trying to pick up UK chicks in a bar.

“Hey are you girls from England?”

“It’s Wales!”

“Oh I’m sorry. Are you whales from England?””

2. A real zinger.

“Waiter, this soup is cold!”

“It’s gazpacho”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Gazpacho, this soup is cold!”

3. I see what you did there.

“What’d the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is very heavy, and the other one is a little lighter.”

4. Total Dad joke.

“Does Santa pay for parking?

No, it’s on the house.”

5. Here it comes.

“I’m reading a horror story in Braille.

Something bad is going to happen… I can feel it.”

6. Hardy har har.

“Person A: I took my wife to the Caribbean.

Person B: Jamaica?

Person A: No, she wanted to go!”

7. Culture clash.

“Did you hear that people in Dubai don’t like The Flinstones?

But the people in Abu Dhabi Dooooo!”

8. A classic.

“A man is looking at a car in a showroom, asking about the different features.

Man: Cargo space?

Salesman: No…car stay Earth.”

9. Works every time.

“While on a road trip look out the window and say “Oh look a flock of cows”

Passenger: ” no it’s a herd of cows”

Me: “HEARD OF COWS? OF COURSE I HAVE THERE’S A WHOLE FLOCK OVER THERE”

I love doing this joke.”

10. Give it a shot.

“Said in one sentence quickly:

What’s the most important part of a joke timing.”

11. Flag humor.

“I don’t know about any of the other advantages to living in Switzerland, but the flag sure is a big plus.”

12. Good books to check out.

“”Behead the Bleachers” by Seymour Butts.

“Trails in the sand” by John Sundraging

“Get out of my way” by Hugh Jass

And, last but not least…”Downspout” by Wayne Dwops.”

13. I’m gonna use this.

“Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan.”

14. I get it!

“Why do seals swim in saltwater?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.”

15. Change is good.

“How many therapists does it take to chance a lightbulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb really has to want to change.”

What’s YOUR favorite silly joke?

Please share it with us in the comments!

We will be forever grateful, friends…

The post What Do You Think is Your Favorite Silly Joke? Here’s What People Said. appeared first on UberFacts.

What Do You Think is Your Favorite Silly Joke? Here’s What People Said.

It can be hard to come up with new material to make folks laugh.

You want to entertain them and continue to make them think that you’re the funniest person on the planet, but a lot of the time you don’t have enough time in the day to come up with new material.

So what can we do about that…?

I know, we can steal some jokes from other funny folks!

What’s your favorite silly joke?

Let’s see what people on AskReddit had to say about this.

1. Oh, man…

“American trying to pick up UK chicks in a bar.

“Hey are you girls from England?”

“It’s Wales!”

“Oh I’m sorry. Are you whales from England?””

2. A real zinger.

“Waiter, this soup is cold!”

“It’s gazpacho”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Gazpacho, this soup is cold!”

3. I see what you did there.

“What’d the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is very heavy, and the other one is a little lighter.”

4. Total Dad joke.

“Does Santa pay for parking?

No, it’s on the house.”

5. Here it comes.

“I’m reading a horror story in Braille.

Something bad is going to happen… I can feel it.”

6. Hardy har har.

“Person A: I took my wife to the Caribbean.

Person B: Jamaica?

Person A: No, she wanted to go!”

7. Culture clash.

“Did you hear that people in Dubai don’t like The Flinstones?

But the people in Abu Dhabi Dooooo!”

8. A classic.

“A man is looking at a car in a showroom, asking about the different features.

Man: Cargo space?

Salesman: No…car stay Earth.”

9. Works every time.

“While on a road trip look out the window and say “Oh look a flock of cows”

Passenger: ” no it’s a herd of cows”

Me: “HEARD OF COWS? OF COURSE I HAVE THERE’S A WHOLE FLOCK OVER THERE”

I love doing this joke.”

10. Give it a shot.

“Said in one sentence quickly:

What’s the most important part of a joke timing.”

11. Flag humor.

“I don’t know about any of the other advantages to living in Switzerland, but the flag sure is a big plus.”

12. Good books to check out.

“”Behead the Bleachers” by Seymour Butts.

“Trails in the sand” by John Sundraging

“Get out of my way” by Hugh Jass

And, last but not least…”Downspout” by Wayne Dwops.”

13. I’m gonna use this.

“Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan.”

14. I get it!

“Why do seals swim in saltwater?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.”

15. Change is good.

“How many therapists does it take to chance a lightbulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb really has to want to change.”

What’s YOUR favorite silly joke?

Please share it with us in the comments!

We will be forever grateful, friends…

The post What Do You Think is Your Favorite Silly Joke? Here’s What People Said. appeared first on UberFacts.

A Woman Told Her Stepsister She Can’t Model Her Clothing Because She’s Obese. Was She a Jerk?

Whenever weight issues are brought up amongst friends, family members, or complete strangers, you know that it’s gonna be ugly and hurtful.

And this actually sounds like a pretty sad situation to me.

A young woman who is in design school was asked by her overweight stepsister if she could model her clothes…and then it went south in a hurry.

She shared her story on Reddit’s “Am I the *sshole?” page. Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for telling my stepsister that she can’t model my clothing because because she’s obese?

“I’m currently in a design class in college and for one of our projects, we had to create a clothing line made out of sustainable materials.

Since I love sewing and thrift-flipping, I was super excited about this. I made all the clothes based off of my own size so there isn’t a lot of size variation.

Last week, I asked two of my friends who are close to my size if they could model and I think my stepsister may have overheard because later that day, she asked me if she could model too.

I wasn’t expecting this question so I stumbled and initially told her that I’d already enough models. She didn’t take this as an answer and asked if I could just let her wear one piece since she loved how they all looked. Recently, she’s been really into modeling and photography so I get why she was so adamant.

I insisted I had enough models and that I couldn’t let her, which really upset her. She ended up going to her dad crying about it and he brought the three of us together for “conflict resolvement time.” He was on her side and asked if I could just let her do one piece.

I was getting p*ssed at this point, but I continued to say no because I know her weight is a sensitive issue for her and her dad. He called me selfish and my stepsister nodded in agreement. This was my breaking point.

I said, “I’ve been saying no this whole time because I did not want to hurt her feelings. You guys wanna know the real reason? I don’t think she’ll be able to fit into any of the clothes I created. She’s obese and I designed the clothes to fit my body type. I’m sorry.”

Well, cue the waterworks. Her father just shook his head at me in disappointment and said I didn’t need to “stoop that low.” All of us are now p*ssed off.

AITA?”

And here’s how Reddit users responded.

This person said there’s no way she acted inappropriately. The clothes were for a specific body type and her stepsister clearly wasn’t in that group.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person thought it was okay for the woman to tell her stepsister NO, but thought calling her obese was not the best idea.

Photo Credit: Reddit

A self-described “fat girl” said that the stepsister was ridiculous to even ask to model the clothes in the first place.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person believes that the stepsister is “pulling the fat shaming card” and is being manipulative about he situation.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Lastly, this person thinks that the woman was way out of line and could have handled the situation in a much better way. In other words, she could have been polite about it.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Now we want to get your take on this situation.

Talk to us in the comments and let us know what you think.

Thanks in advance!

The post A Woman Told Her Stepsister She Can’t Model Her Clothing Because She’s Obese. Was She a Jerk? appeared first on UberFacts.

A Woman Told Her Stepsister She Can’t Model Her Clothing Because She’s Obese. Was She a Jerk?

Whenever weight issues are brought up amongst friends, family members, or complete strangers, you know that it’s gonna be ugly and hurtful.

And this actually sounds like a pretty sad situation to me.

A young woman who is in design school was asked by her overweight stepsister if she could model her clothes…and then it went south in a hurry.

She shared her story on Reddit’s “Am I the *sshole?” page. Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for telling my stepsister that she can’t model my clothing because because she’s obese?

“I’m currently in a design class in college and for one of our projects, we had to create a clothing line made out of sustainable materials.

Since I love sewing and thrift-flipping, I was super excited about this. I made all the clothes based off of my own size so there isn’t a lot of size variation.

Last week, I asked two of my friends who are close to my size if they could model and I think my stepsister may have overheard because later that day, she asked me if she could model too.

I wasn’t expecting this question so I stumbled and initially told her that I’d already enough models. She didn’t take this as an answer and asked if I could just let her wear one piece since she loved how they all looked. Recently, she’s been really into modeling and photography so I get why she was so adamant.

I insisted I had enough models and that I couldn’t let her, which really upset her. She ended up going to her dad crying about it and he brought the three of us together for “conflict resolvement time.” He was on her side and asked if I could just let her do one piece.

I was getting p*ssed at this point, but I continued to say no because I know her weight is a sensitive issue for her and her dad. He called me selfish and my stepsister nodded in agreement. This was my breaking point.

I said, “I’ve been saying no this whole time because I did not want to hurt her feelings. You guys wanna know the real reason? I don’t think she’ll be able to fit into any of the clothes I created. She’s obese and I designed the clothes to fit my body type. I’m sorry.”

Well, cue the waterworks. Her father just shook his head at me in disappointment and said I didn’t need to “stoop that low.” All of us are now p*ssed off.

AITA?”

And here’s how Reddit users responded.

This person said there’s no way she acted inappropriately. The clothes were for a specific body type and her stepsister clearly wasn’t in that group.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person thought it was okay for the woman to tell her stepsister NO, but thought calling her obese was not the best idea.

Photo Credit: Reddit

A self-described “fat girl” said that the stepsister was ridiculous to even ask to model the clothes in the first place.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person believes that the stepsister is “pulling the fat shaming card” and is being manipulative about he situation.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Lastly, this person thinks that the woman was way out of line and could have handled the situation in a much better way. In other words, she could have been polite about it.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Now we want to get your take on this situation.

Talk to us in the comments and let us know what you think.

Thanks in advance!

The post A Woman Told Her Stepsister She Can’t Model Her Clothing Because She’s Obese. Was She a Jerk? appeared first on UberFacts.

Woman Asks if She’s a Jerk for Forcing Her Boyfriend to Do the Dishes

This is a really weird story: I’m just gonna say that first.

I often wonder how people who are in “adult” relationships end up in these kinds of situations, and it kind of blows my mind. But, maybe that’s why I’m still single…who knows…?

Anyway, a woman took to Reddit’s “Am I the *sshole?” forum to ask if she was justified in her actions with her boyfriend who seem like a real catch.

Let’s take a look.

AITA for “forcing” my boyfriend to do the dishes?

“I’m lactose intolerant.

Every time I make tacos, my boyfriend always makes jokes about how I’m “disrespecting Mexican culture” by not having cheese in my tacos. I’ve told him multiple times I’m not going to give myself the sh*ts just to make him feel better about my friggin’ tacos (he’s not even Mexican, he’s white.).

This came to a head last night when we were having tacos again. I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, I noticed my taco looked tampered with. I go to inspect, and lo and behold, there’s f*cking cheese buried underneath the other ingredients.

I told my boyfriend he was a raging do*che canoe and went to bed, leaving him to do the cleanup. I still haven’t spoken to him all morning, and he’s complaining about how I “forced” him to do the dishes, because normally I do them.

AITA here?”

Oh, boy…

And here’s how folks on Reddit responded.

This person made their point loud and clear: this woman needs to drop the zero and get with a hero!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user brought up a good point: if someone is lactose intolerant, you don’t mess with their food. EVER. That is just messed up.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person said that she needs to dump the guy already and just get it over with.

Photo Credit: Reddit

An individual who is also lactose intolerant said that she needs to get out of this situation before it gets worse.

This is someone’s health that we’re talking about…

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person said she should make him do the dishes and THEN kick him out.

Sounds like a plan!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Finally, a Mexican person weighed in and said that they don’t even put cheese on their tacos, so this guy doesn’t even know what the hell he’s talking about.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Now we want to get your thoughts on this situation.

Please tell us what you think in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Woman Asks if She’s a Jerk for Forcing Her Boyfriend to Do the Dishes appeared first on UberFacts.

Woman Asks if She’s a Jerk for Forcing Her Boyfriend to Do the Dishes

This is a really weird story: I’m just gonna say that first.

I often wonder how people who are in “adult” relationships end up in these kinds of situations, and it kind of blows my mind. But, maybe that’s why I’m still single…who knows…?

Anyway, a woman took to Reddit’s “Am I the *sshole?” forum to ask if she was justified in her actions with her boyfriend who seem like a real catch.

Let’s take a look.

AITA for “forcing” my boyfriend to do the dishes?

“I’m lactose intolerant.

Every time I make tacos, my boyfriend always makes jokes about how I’m “disrespecting Mexican culture” by not having cheese in my tacos. I’ve told him multiple times I’m not going to give myself the sh*ts just to make him feel better about my friggin’ tacos (he’s not even Mexican, he’s white.).

This came to a head last night when we were having tacos again. I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, I noticed my taco looked tampered with. I go to inspect, and lo and behold, there’s f*cking cheese buried underneath the other ingredients.

I told my boyfriend he was a raging do*che canoe and went to bed, leaving him to do the cleanup. I still haven’t spoken to him all morning, and he’s complaining about how I “forced” him to do the dishes, because normally I do them.

AITA here?”

Oh, boy…

And here’s how folks on Reddit responded.

This person made their point loud and clear: this woman needs to drop the zero and get with a hero!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user brought up a good point: if someone is lactose intolerant, you don’t mess with their food. EVER. That is just messed up.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person said that she needs to dump the guy already and just get it over with.

Photo Credit: Reddit

An individual who is also lactose intolerant said that she needs to get out of this situation before it gets worse.

This is someone’s health that we’re talking about…

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person said she should make him do the dishes and THEN kick him out.

Sounds like a plan!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Finally, a Mexican person weighed in and said that they don’t even put cheese on their tacos, so this guy doesn’t even know what the hell he’s talking about.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Now we want to get your thoughts on this situation.

Please tell us what you think in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Woman Asks if She’s a Jerk for Forcing Her Boyfriend to Do the Dishes appeared first on UberFacts.