12 Lessons Passed down from Child-To-Child Without Help from Adults

Which flavor popsicle tastes the best. Which swing on the playground goes the highest. Where to meet up after dark to go hunting for ghosts. There are certain things that you can only learn before the age of twelve – and certain things you can only learn from other kids while the adults remain adorably clueless.

#12. Break your mother’s back.

“Don’t step on the lines.”

#11. Jingle bells.

“Jingle bells Batman smells”

#10. When I was young.

“How to make one of those origami fortune teller things.

I’m not sure if kids still do it, but when I was young how to fold a single page note into an envelope to give to a friend.”

#9. Eeny meeny.

“Methods to decide who is “it”. Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish.

Eeny meany miney moe. Etc.”

#8. I died laughing.

“As an elementary school kid from 89-96 when talking about our boy parts we refferred to them as “Nards”. I am 14 years older than one of my brothers and when he was in the 3rd grade he was telling a story about how ball hit him in his “Nards”. I died laughing that day as I had totally forgot about calling them that.”

#7. Definitely go ask.

“That if one parent says no, definitely go ask the other parent to see if they’ll say yes.”

#6. Buy me a coke.

“That you yell “Jinx!” when you say something at the same time as someone. May also involve counting to ten and proclaiming that the other person owes you a coke.”

#5. Pea green soup.

“I always knew it as various prompts. You’d prompt someone to repeat the same phrase in response to you. So for example, pea green soup.

“What’d you have for breakfast.”

“Pea green soup”

“What’d you have for lunch?

“pea green soup”

What’d you have for dinner?”

“pea green soup”

“What’d you have for a snack?”

“Pea green soup”

“What’d you do all night?

“Pea green soup”

giggles”

#4. No one was told.

“That when you’re in the car and it’s raining, you watch raindrops run down the windows and pretend they’re racing each other. No one was told to do this. Yet somehow everyone did.”

#3. MASH.

“The MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House) game to predict our futures haha.”

#2. The right way.

“Waving pencils the right way makes them look rubbery.”

#1. That one thing.

“That thing where you wiggle your middle fingers upside down? Anybody know what I’m talking about? Where you put your hands together and it’s like some Egyptian seeming thing?”

The post 12 Lessons Passed down from Child-To-Child Without Help from Adults appeared first on UberFacts.

12+ People Dish on What Temptation Is Totally Not Worth Giving in To

There are a million little things that tempt us every day, and some are easier to resist than others. Case and point, I just ate FIVE homemade chocolate chip cookies in lieu of lunch.

It was totally worth it.

These 15 things may not be, though, so take heed!

#15. Forever wiped out.

“Taking advantage of someone close to you, it could be financially, emotionally (underrated), sexually or any variety. That moment of “gain” can be forever wiped out by the opportunity to have a friend or a family member there for you in a bigger moment of need.”

#14. Are you sure?

“Eating an entire bag of Doritos in one sitting.”

#13. That might change.

“The concept of a “hall pass” when married.

Had a buddy who found that one out the hard way. Your SO might say they are fine with it, but that might change in a damn hurry.”

#12. No changing opinions.

“Arguing politics on reddit. Nobody goes online to have their opinions changed. It doesn’t matter how carefully prepared and eloquent your argument is.”

#11. Worth so much more.

“Avoiding holidays and trips and expensive treats simply because you’re scared of parting with your money.

Saving your money is awesome. Good on you for doing that. But it is SO IMPORTANT to spend a little of that money on yourself. Go away on a road trip. Pay to have your parents fly down to visit for Christmas. Buy yourself some fancy whiskey and drink it whenever you feel like it. Don’t hide it away at parties, hoping for a ‘more special’ occasion to pop up one day. Don’t be afraid to spend that money on yourself sometimes.

Experiences are worth so much more than what you pay for them.

My partner is obsessed with buying a house before we’re too old to pay off a mortgage (his dad lives in self-caused poverty). I am obsessed with travelling and experiencing life before we’re too old to enjoy the more extreme stuff (my parents never did anything or went anywhere). We both know what the shit ends of the spectrum look like, so we’ve met halfway and we are saving so we can do both. We go on roadtrips every year for our anniversary, and we put money aside in our savings for a house too. You gotta find that happy medium.”

#10. On marriage.

“The “told you so” on your spouse. Like 99.9% of the time it’s not worth it. If you have to do it, do it with a look only, trust me on this.”

#9. Full stop.

“Brake testing someone who’s up your ass when you’re going 85 on the motorway.”

#8. Outweighs the rest.

“The feeling of reconnecting with your ex. Those sweet and happy memories.. but s/he is not worth of your time anymore. All those damage and pain s/he brought to you in the past outweighs the rest.”

#7. It catches up to me.

“An unhealthy lifestyle. Sure it might be easy to eat like shit and not exercise regularly, but it catches up to you really fast. It’s also hard to change your lifestyle after you get stuck in that rut.”

#6. Your own problems.

“Blaming other people for your own problems.”

#5. You might not recover.

“When you’re trying to change your lifestyle (changing your diet or activities) and you decide to ‘treat yourself’ to a taste of what you used to do, just to see if it’s still tempting.

It is. And you might not recover from a slip up like that. There’s a good chance that it’ll cement your decision and you’ll grow from it, but there’s also a greater chance that you’ll recede from the progress you’ve made.”

#4. Long story short.

“Calling your boss all the names you fantasize about. It can be so so tempting, but even if it is your last day on the job and you are never going to see them again, they can still impact your career years or even decades down the line. Knew a guy who told his mechanic boss to suck himself sideways on the last day. Well, turns out new boss was old boss’s friend. Didn’t even get to start his first day before he was fired.

Long story short, don’t mess with people who can end your career.”

#3. Last call.

“That “last call” drink. I’ve never woken up from a night out drinking and thought, “wow! I’m so glad I had that tequila shot right before bed!”

#2. Just don’t.

“Scratching at a healing tattoo.”

#1. They thought it was so cool.

“I think for most people it’s smoking. Lots of my friends got into it because they thought it was so cool when they were teenagers.”

The post 12+ People Dish on What Temptation Is Totally Not Worth Giving in To appeared first on UberFacts.

12 People Reveal the One Lesson They Had to Learn the Hard Way

Some lessons, like not touching a hot stove and looking both ways before crossing the street, can be taught and learned with only a brief discussion. Others are best learned on one’s own, no matter how hard the results can be to stomach.

These 12 people reveal the ones they wouldn’t have learned as well any other way.

#12. Doesn’t forget.

“The tax man doesn’t simply forget you exist.”

#11. Once a cheater…

“If she cheats on her ex for you, she’ll cheat on you for someone else.”

#10. Sensitivity.

“Icy Hot is not meant for your sensitive areas.”

#9. Not forever.

“As much as you love someone, and as much as they love you, your relationship can still end.
You can be the wrong people for one another, but still in love.
You can be the right people for each other, but under the wrong circumstances.
And you can be the perfect people for each other, but only for a certain amount of time, not forever.”

#8. Advice for men.

“Wash your hands after eating hot wings before taking a piss.”

#7. Never again.

“I was a little kid and wondered what it would be like to be stung by a hornet. I saw a hornet. Touched its backside.

Never again.”

#6. You can’t change a person.

“That you can’t change a person, they have to want to change themselves.”

#5. A lot harder.

“It’s a lot harder to fix something than it is to avoid breaking it. (Read: it’s a lot easier to be frugal than to get out of debt; it’s a lot easier to develop healthy habits (e.g. eating well, exercise) when you’re young and healthy than to try to change your habits after you’ve developed health problems and your metabolism has slowed; it’s a lot easier to be honest in a relationship than to try to fix a breach of trust. All of those “it’s easier” things are super hard, but the alternatives suck a lot more.)”

#4. Checking temperatures.

“To see if an iron is still hot, hold your hand an inch or two away from it.

6-year-old me put my palm flat against it.”

#3. Just in case.

“Bring an extra pair of glasses (or contacts) with you on vacation in case you lose or break them.”

#2. There are no words.

“Toothpaste isn’t a good lube.”

#1. Questioning everything.

“The intricacies of the female cycle.

I had just moved in with my girlfriend.

I had come from a home where everything was always pristine, we had a housekeeper, everything was always in its place and clean.

My girlfriend did not. She’s messy, but cleans eventually.

Now, as a man I understand the basics of what happens during that time of the month, but I never thought about it at all.

The first weekend we were moved in together, it was that time. What I didn’t know what that when she buys her tampons, she also gets her hair dye, and does it once a month.

Now, all women and most men have probably caught on that she is NOT a natural red head. Now, periods I knew a little about but hair dye? Absolutely nothing.

I walked into our bathroom after what would be the first of many monthly rituals, and I gagged. I looked around horrified, and then threw up.

What I saw: Dark red. Red in the shower, red toilet paper in the garbage, red all over the shower.

What she saw: Me throwing up, doubled over, questioning everything.

“I don’t understand?! The shower…gag…the shower walls?! gag Were you spinning around?! WHY ARE THERE GLOVES?!”

This was followed by her laughing hysterically for…it’s been 13 years now. I still have not lived that down.

TL;DR: Thought my GF became Carrie once a month.”

The post 12 People Reveal the One Lesson They Had to Learn the Hard Way appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Reveal the Hardest Thing They Had to Tell Their Parents

Serious talks with the ‘rents can be hard on everyone involved but I gotta say, these 15 heart-to-hearts would have been a doozy from either side.

#15. Parent your parent.

“To my widowed mom: that if she didn’t start using the internet safely (she fell victim to romance scams twice) and stop sending money she doesn’t have to strangers online (she’s definitely on a fixed income), I’d get power of attorney over her and her finances. Sucks having to parent your parent.”

#14. I had to tell my parents.

“One morning i got a call from a police officer who told me the that my sister was found dead in her apartment and that she apparently died of a heroin overdose. She was living in another city and i hadn’t spoken to her for 2 or 3 weeks. We knew she was addicted but went through recovery and was doing fine, back in her job and had her live on track for nearly a year.

I can’t even remember the words or what exactly he hold me because it swept me right of my feet. I just told him to hold on, please hold on i need to find a chair and suddenly my husband was there and talking to the man on the phone. I then had to tell my parents. We drove over and my mother was alone in the kitchen and i internally screamed because my dad wasn’t there. He had a small workshop and went there in the morning. So i told my mother and she just dropped onto the floor with the most horrific scream i ever heard from my mom. I then walked over to the workshop because i didn’t wanted to tell my dad over the phone. I just said her name and he knew, he fucking knew right away and he just held me while we both cried and then we went back to my mom.

Yeah that was a real shitty day. It’s been 7 years since i lost my sister and i still go through severe depression the weeks leading up to the date of her death.”

#13. Seemingly normal.

“That their seemingly normal infant grandson had a terminal disorder and had maybe four years to live.”

#12. I wasn’t supposed to know.

“That I had known for ten years about the half sibling I wasn’t supposed to know about.

Edit: wow, it’s nice knowing this isn’t uncommon. I was pretty broken up about it way back when my sister I grew up with spilled the beans. It took me so long to bring it up because at the time, she asked me not to tell our mother that she told me, and I didn’t want to betray her.

I never made contact. I thought about it a lot, still do, but I’ve battled some serious depression in my life and if it went badly it might be bad for my mental health. So I let it be.”

#11. Work up the courage.

“When I was 17 I had to work up the courage to tell my mom I didn’t think my penis worked correctly (I had no feeling due to an extreme bend). It was such a hard topic to talk about with my mother, but I’m glad I did. About 2 years, 30 doctor’s visits, and one surgery later, I had a working penis ?

Edit: Have, it still works. It just doesn’t get much use lol.”

#10. Total shock.

“My ex and I of 10 years amicably split up 3 months before our wedding date. When we told my parents together, I’m 100% positive they were expecting us to tell them she was pregnant. Total shock from them.”

#9. 10,000 miles away.

“That I had cancer. I live overseas and I know how much my parents miss me, I can only imagine how they felt while I was 10,000 miles away battling it.

I tried to be super positive about it. Mom only wanted to hear as much as was necessary, Dad kept on talking about all the ways I could die or could go wrong(his way of working out a situation).

Cancer free for six months now though!

Edit: blown away that this took off and to see all the congratulatory messages. Thank you.

I shared it with my mom whose first concern was that they weren’t present enough and made me feel i was battling it on my own, but I assured her that they were the most supportive parents and did everything they could given the distance.

I love them a whole lot.”

#8. Less than a month.

“I had to tell my mother she had less than a month to live.”

#7. Wailing the heartbreak.

“My younger sister’s husband called me to tell me that the baby that my sister, his wife, was carrying had died in utero. He asked me in between sobs to call my parents because my sister wanted everyone to come to the hospital before she was put into induced labour to give birth to her stillborn daughter.

So I called my parents, who were in a cafe. First thing my Mum said, naturally (considering what day it was), was ‘Happy Birthday, Janie!’

There was no way to break the news nicely, so I just told her that sister and sister’s husband’s baby had been stillborn and we were all to meet them at the hospital. I’ll never forget the sounds of my Mum wailing with heartbreak in our local cafe.”

#6. Guilt incarnate.

“Mom, we’re moving you out of your house into a home. (Guilt incarnate)”

#5. Everyone suffers.

“It’s me dad, your son”.

Having a parent who suffers from Alzheimer’s is fucking heartbreaking.”

#4. It broke my heart.

“That my sister was spreading lies about the family to her friends to get attention and pity. She told them things like “Step-dad hits mum and because he’s a [job title] they cover it up for him”, “I’m actually a twin but he died when we were 6 weeks old” some were so horrible, all about being abused and how my family was rich but she never got money/food/adequate shelter because we hate her so much.

I watched their faces go from confused to angry to sad it broke my heart.”

#3. The perfect couple.

“That my husband beat the crap out of me then went to bed and overdosed on pain pills. They thought we were the perfect couple.”

#2. Terrified for weeks.

“Telling my parents I flunked out of college was the hardest thing for me. I was terrified for weeks.”

#1. It was true.

“Got home from school and my mom had already received a phone call from my principal. I had to tell her it was true, my teacher had been touching me.”

The post 15 People Reveal the Hardest Thing They Had to Tell Their Parents appeared first on UberFacts.

12 People Confess What Song Always Brings Them to Tears

You know you’ve got one, too. For me, it’s A Drop in the Ocean by Ron Pope and Everything Changes by Sara Barellies. Check them – or one of these 12 – out the next time you need a good cry in the shower (or anywhere, really)!

#12. Too many memories.

“If It Means A Lot To You by A Day To Remember

Too many memories I don’t want to remember.”

#11. Someone I love.

“All I want by Kodaline

Remindes me of someone I love before.”

#10. Melancholy.

“I’ll Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie.”

#9. Hallelujah.

“Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley.”

#8. Tear trigger.

“Cats in the Cradle – Harry Chapin Lost my dad to a car accident early in my life. I have a wonderful life still thanks to my mom but this song automatically triggers tears and I can’t seem to quite rationalize why.”

#7. Heartbreak.

“For me its Terrible Things by Mayday Parade because my mom passed :(“

#6. But not the friends.

“Pictures of you by the cure. I have a few great memories and pictures but not the friends that go with them anymore.”

#5. It’s complicated.

“I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bon Iver….things are complicated right now in my love life.”

#4. A lot of pain.

“When i was like 7/8 I went to hug my sleeping dog basil who was about 14, he was a Rhodesian Ridgeback, anyway he bit me cause I think I must’ve woke him my mum took him to the vets cause she thought something was wrong and it turned out he had cancer, I can’t remember what kind exactly but apparently he was in a lot pain and we couldn’t even tell, so we had to have him put to sleep that evening. On our way back from the vets The Frays “How to save a life” played, it was first time I ever heard it now whenever I hear that song I always cry.”

#3. There were so many of us.

“Blink 182 – Adam’s Song

It’s sad, it’s emo, it’s teenage angsty bullshit. But there were so many of us that felt that way. And so many of us didn’t have anyone to talk to about it, and didn’t know how to properly cope with it. There didn’t really seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

This song made me realize how truly fucked up suicide would be, and the extent to which it would hurt everyone around me.”

#2. The best I’ve ever had.

“Maybe stereotypical and cliché, but Mad World.

“The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had”

#1. Relatable.

“How To Disappear Completely by Radiohead. Mostly while I was struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction. Since I’ve been clean and sober for 2 years now I only relate to it if I’m feeling particularly down or sad.”

The post 12 People Confess What Song Always Brings Them to Tears appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Share What Helps Them Cope with Their Anxiety

For any number of reasons, anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses seem to be even more common these days. People are always looking for ways to cope (outside or in addition to modern medication) and these 15 people are ready and willing to share the mechanisms that have worked for them.

#15. Running.

“Exercise- I find running has helped me a lot and built up my confidence.”

#14. Just saying.

“Vodka, comrade.”

#13. Counting backward.

“Counting backwards in a foreign language and or basic math.”

#12. The happy painter.

“Watching Bob Ross! His voice is so soothing, and he exudes positivity. Wrapping up in a blanket, touching something soft, or running my hands under warm water also help. I also have a squeezable pineapple keychain with little popping eyes that helps me re-focus when I’m on the go.”

#11. Reaffirmation.

“Deep breaths when a heavy feeling is preventing me from breathing correctly. (Shallow panicked breathing) So countering whatever it makes me want to do.

I have to remind myself that not everything is the end of the world. Even if I might feel like it is. Even if I feel all hope is lost and everyone hates me. I can’t ‘indulge’ myself in these thoughts. They only spiral out of control if I focus on them.

I remind myself that I can do things and that no one judges me. (At least not as harshly as I do myself) No one wants to see me fail. No one would be happy if I disappeared out of their lives. If they didn’t want me as their friend, I wouldn’t be their friend. They don’t invite me to things out of pity. Strangers on the internet don’t automatically hate me. Written text is hard to convey emotion.

That are things I know I should do. I should tell myself these things but as you probably know. It’s not always as easy as this. Tbh I’m not the best at dealing with my anxiety. I panic very easily. And the feeling just drowns out any rational thoughts. But those reaffirmations is something I can do before the feeling drowns me.”

#10. Take a step back.

“Reframing the situation.”

#9. I’m golden.

“Weirdly enough, having a little mini breakdown helps a lot. I go home, go into the shower and freak out for a bit then all of a sudden I’m feeling a lot better. Add a game to that and some solitude and I’m golden.”

#8. Give in.

“Crying.”

#7. Creativity.

“Being creative helps me along with breathing exercises.”

#6. Temporary relief.

“Stretching. Doing a little, five-minute stretch session makes me feel a lot better. It’s relief is temporary, but it helps a lot and is easy to do.”

#5. It helps me so much.

“Something I have been doing recently is talking to myself. I get bad anxiety when I’m driving sometimes, so I’ll turn off the radio, focus my mind, and speak to myself out loud. Really try to believe what you’re saying. Instead of saying “you’re gonna be fine” try saying “you’ve dealt with this before and you know you will come out the other side.” It helps me so much to hear my own voice. It sounds silly and I’ll admit it is a bit strange, but dammit if it doesn’t help me a ton.”

#4. But also.

“Meditation, and deep breathing exercises. But also pharmaceuticals.”

#3. An important first step.

“Forgive myself for feeling anxious and then step back and work out how I got there and discard what isn’t valid and work through the emotions / feelings that are.

Forgiving myself is an important first step or I end up in a spiral when I get anxious about being anxious and so on.”

#2. Every single day.

“Meditation. Breathing exercises. Positive thinking. Not just for a week but every single day. Make it a habit. Set goals. Meditation in particular has helped me a lot. Also don’t be afraid to talk about it with family and friends. Just knowing that someone understands what you’re experiencing also helps.”

#1. You were ok.

“Sometimes when I’m having a “there’s-no-hope/no-tomorrow” kind of episode, I remind myself about the last time I felt that way, then I ask myself a question. What happened between the last time you felt this way and now? You were ok. You were ok and you will be ok again. <3″

The post 15 People Share What Helps Them Cope with Their Anxiety appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ People Dish on Which Minimum Wage Jobs Should Pay Way More

There are a lot of jobs out there that most people wouldn’t want – and for some reason, the people who take them aren’t compensated very well for picking up the slack. I bet you can think of a few off the top of your head, but these 12 people had some pretty good takes on which ones deserve better pay and why.

#12. A pitiful amount of time.

“Care assistants that travel to the patients house usually in their own transport with a pitiful amount of time to spend with the patient and nearly zero time allowance to get to the next patient. They are also expected to lift patients in and out of bed or a bath which can lead to them injuring their back.”

#11. Very demanding.

“Childcare! You have to get CPR and first aid certs and do a bunch of technical training. You’re on your feet, moving and active all day (for older students nap time is a lie and they will try and come bother you about everything). You have to deal with sometimes upwards of 15 kids for 12 hours a day.

Amd you’re barely making $10 an hour. It’s a very demanding job.”

#10. A bonus every time.

“dishwashers should get a bonus every time they clean a grease trap!

#9. Pay may vary.

“Emergency Medical Technicians.

Granted, depending on the area/agency/company they work for, the pay can vary. However, there was a short period where I worked for one company who gave us “raises” to minimum wage after the minimum wage increased. We were making $0.50 above minimum, but the increase was by $0.75. So for quite some time, it was a minimum wage job.”

#8. Longer than expected.

“I’ve always thought minimum wage cleaning jobs don’t seem worth it. You don’t get that many hours and they expect too much in too little time.

When I had a cleaning job they paid me for a set ammount of hours but the job always took longer than estimated. Some times getting paid half of what minimum wage was for the hours.”

#7. On quotas.

“Any retail job that has quotas you have to sell things by that doesn’t give commission.”

#6. It’s gotta change.

“Cooks. For what they are paid and what they can typically do job-wise, they are the most critically underpaid job-wise. What I find absolutely infuriating is guys who’ve been doing it for decades, even with certifications or degrees, still usually barely earn above $13/hour.

By cooks too, I mean non-fast food. I’m all for fastfood getting better wages, but actual restaurant cooks with refined skill sets are barely making more. I’ve watched my share of head chefs rapidly age and get beaten by the workload, causing them to drink, do drugs, smoke, etc…

It’s gotta change. Food is such a primal and basic need. We can’t underpay the people giving us good food, otherwise no one will want to have those jobs.”

#5. Someone’s life.

“Pharmacy technicians, pay them as much as fast food workers, even put in drive-thrus, but if you mess up an order, it could be someone’s life instead of their lunch.”

#4. Hardly a livable wage.

“Animal handlers at zoos. It isn’t minimum wage, but it’s damn near close to it.

These people get masters degrees in how to care for and handle these animals only to get paid a hardly live able wage.”

#3. I’ve literally saved people.

“Lifeguarding. I have literally saved people from drowning and am the most trained person on sight, yet i make 8 bucks an hour.”

#2. Truth bomb.

“All of them. Nowhere in the United States can a full-time minimum wage employee afford a modest two-bedroom apartment (here).”

#1. All while smiling.

“CNAs. They get harassed, bit, puked on, clean up poop and other bodily fluids all while smiling or at least being polite/friendly. They deserve way more than minimum wage.”

The post 10+ People Dish on Which Minimum Wage Jobs Should Pay Way More appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Reveal the Piece of Conventional Wisdom They Think Is Total Crap

My personal pet peeve is the saying that “In the end it will be okay – if it’s not okay, it’s not the end,” largely because it’s total crap. But there are plenty of pieces of wisdom or common sayings that drive people mad.

Here are 15 people who shared the ones they think are complete baloney.

#15. Outdated advice.

“Starve a fever.

You need energy to power your immune response, don’t rely on 14 century medicinal advice.”

#14. Incorrect.

“There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”

Yes, there is. The notion that there isn’t is just a self-serving publicists’ lie; a way of saying that everything can be spun if you just hire the right publicist. But it’s just not true. Bad publicity can wreck careers, tank companies, cause bank runs, prompt suicides and murders.

No publicist in the world is going to get Harvey Weinstein’s career back on track; Theranos will never recover from Carreyrou’s pieces in the Wall Street Journal.

I think most people know that it’s not really true, but for some reason I keep hearing it said as though it were genuinely an axiomatic truth—as though being universally loathed were genuinely better than being unknown.”

#13. Not a good piece of advice.

“Live every day like it is your last one.” That is just not a good piece of advice”

#12. How many times.

“listen to your heart.”

No no no. Think things through rationally and do the right thing no matter how you ‘feel’. You know how many times I’ve had to get up to go to work or go for a run when my heart was telling me to go back to bed or eat chocolate in front of the TV?”

#11. Sometimes.

“‘Violence never solves/solved anything.’

Yeah, tell that to history.

Sometimes, a good swift ass-kicking is the only response on the table.”

#10. Do what you love.

“Do what you love, and the money will follow.” This is not true most of the time.”

#9. Not anymore.

“He only picks on you, because he likes you.”

#8. How about that?

“Finish your plate”. How about “stop eating when you’re full”.”

#7. Go get it.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

Bullsh*t, go get it.”

#6. The universe conspires.

“Everything happens for a reason. Well technically it does but that reason could be chance, mistake etc. Sometimes the universe conspires to collectively fuck you.”

#5. Idiocy.

“Most of the bullshit that comes from advice on dealing with ‘bullies’ at school.

Usually from people that clearly have never had to deal with bullying in any form. Some of the ridiculous ones I’ve seen have been along the lines of “Laugh with your bully, they’ll have no reason to bully you and leave you alone!”

Idiocy.”

#4. No means no.

“Don’t take no for an answer.”

#3. Except when you’re tired.

“Never go to bed angry.” Not all problems can be solved before bedtime and you aren’t required to accept someone’s b.s. because it’s bedtime.”

#2. Pyramid scheme.

“The US food pyramid.”

#1. Ok, so no.

“ignore the bully”

Ok, so no.

The post 15 People Reveal the Piece of Conventional Wisdom They Think Is Total Crap appeared first on UberFacts.

12+ People Reveal Their Deepest, Darkest Secret

Buckle up, friends – you may be about to read some things you can never unsee.

#15. I realize now.

“I was really horny, but my family was around so my solution was to go take a shower and choke the chicken in there. At the time I didn’t have a phone case on my phone since my previous one broke. I was getting pretty close standing in the shower so I went to set my phone in basket on top of the toilet where my wallet and stuff was, but instead I accidentally dropped my phone on the tile floor and the screen was completely shattered. I immediately realized I couldn’t easily explain this to my dad, so my solution was to finish my shower and get dressed, then go to the basement stairs and slip down the stairs and get scratched up and let my phone fall. I then went upstairs with my bleeding knee and broken phone and say I fell down the stairs, and that it broke my phone. I immediately got sympathy from my family and didn’t get in trouble. Nobody knows that I threw myself down the stairs and didn’t just slip. I realize now that I probably could have just said I fell, but at the time I felt I had to actually do it.”

#14. No one knows.

“I had a threesome with a couple i met online.

i was arrested last year and no one knows.

I cheated on my taxes.”

#13. I’ll never forgive myself.

“I blame myself for one of my best friends passing away. He lived across the country but I stopped talking to him when we both delved way too far into hard drugs and I blamed him for it secretly. A year later he was found dead and the last time I saw him I was barred out on Xanax. I’ll never forgive myself for that. I could and should have been there for him.”

#12. Religious disbelief.

“I would probably never consider myself an atheist, but I certainly don’t believe in many of the core tenants of my professed religion and I have very serious doubts about most of the others. The biggest problem is I’ve come to these conclusions only after recently marrying my very conservatively religious wife, and taking a job at said religious institution as a minister. I’m in a bad place right now.

Edit: Thanks a lot to everyone who has commented with advice, philosophy, and consolation. I have read every comment up to this point, and it has honestly put me a bit at ease to hear from you all. I’m going to turn off my notifications but I love all of the open discussion so feel free to continue commenting!”

#11. I find it annoying.

“I’m a mom but I hate being around other moms. I’m not even sure why but I find it annoying? I also hate talking about our kids all the time and nothing else.

Edit: I also have part of a tattoo that I secretly like even though I give people a bs excuse as to why I got it so I don’t seem like an idiot.”

#10. Just in case.

“My wife has a ceramic mug that she uses all day everyday to drink water. As long as I’ve known her she’s used the same mug. 5 years ago shortly after we moved in together, I found the same mug on eBay. That replacement mug sits in a bonx box at my office, just in case the day comes that I accidentally break the original.”

#9. Still ashamed.

“I was never fully potty trained until 7

I cringe at that every day.”

#8. Family secrets.

“I was molested by my grandpa from about age 5-9. I never told my parents or friends but did tell my therapist. I drunkly told my (also drunk) fiancé after about 2 weeks of dating but he’s never brought it back up. I don’t think he remembers. I don’t plan on telling him.

As payback, my step grandmother left me a diamond ring that just appraised for over $30k a year ago among other jewelry that appraised for about $5k. No one in the family understands why she left that to me and I’m not saying a word.”

#7. Extreme measures.

“I faked a seizure to get out of a wedding once.”

#6. Fantasy Al Gore.

“The very first time I ever touched myself in a sexual way I was in the 4th grade and fantasizing about Al Gore.”

#5. Someone knows.

“I have one testicle.”

#4. Small sense of satisfaction.

“I peed in my dad’s bottle of bacardi. He drank from it every night and was a raging alcoholic when I was younger. Anytime he acted like an asshole, I’d have this small sense of satisfaction in the back of my mind that no matter what he said or did, he drank my piss.”

#3. The last laugh.

“If anybody remember’s the toy “Sock’em Boppers”. Basically they’re blow up boxing gloves that are shaped kind of like lawnmower tires. They didn’t need to strap or tie around your wrist to stay on because at full inflation the hand insert was tight enough to snug your wrist.

Well one day I’m lying on the couch and my little brother decided to wack me in the side of the head with one when I wasn’t paying attention. His fun was cut short however: he immediately took off the bopper and lamented that it was wet inside the hand insert and that it stunk. Confused, he walked away.

I had been using it for a pocket vagina.”

#2. A light reminder.

“When I was 15 I tried to kill myself. My parents where out of town for the weekend and on that Saturday night i went into there medicine cabinet and took an ungodly amount of every pill in there (to this day i have no idea what i took) wrote out a long drawn suicide note, locked my door and fell asleep on my bed. Sunday morning my parents came home much earlier that i expected. I had left a small desk lamp on in my room and when my parents got home they tried to get into my room to turn off the light. I was obviously unresponsive and my parents freaked out so much that my dad broke down the door to my room. My dad shook me awake asking me a million questions angrily like why was the door locked, why I wasn’t responding and what was wrong with me. I groggily lied and told them i was super tired and didn’t feel good. They hesitantly believed me and left my room. When they left i grabbed the note and destroyed it. Went out into the living room and cried on my moms shoulder for what felt like hours. When she asked me what was wrong i just told her i had a really bad weekend and nothing else. To this day my parents joke about how i sleep like the dead, not knowing how close i was to actual death. I have never told my parents what happened that weekend, or how they unknowingly saved my life. To this day i still own that little desk lamp that i left on that night, and turn it on whenever I’m feeling depressed as a reminder that all you need is a little light to get you through the darkest of times. This was 16 years ago next month.”

#1. Painfully aware.

“I’ve lost weight in the past year and have been exercising and packing healthy lunches for work. My friends and coworkers comment about my weight loss and fitness level. But I dread my days off because then I’m home alone and I binge eat massive quantities of food and throw it all up. Multiple times throughout the day until my husband comes home. I’m an RN and I am painfully aware of how I am damaging my self.

Edit: holy shit, I did not expect this much support. I’m overwhelmed! I was sitting on the swing in my back yard with my husband and 3yo son when I switched accounts to share this. It physically hurt just to type it out and read the words. It’s heartbreaking to see how many others are suffering and hiding their own ED. I know I need help but I’ve always been the “strong” one in our family and I feel ashamed to admit that I am such a god damn mess. Thank you all for taking the time to reach out, its oddly comforting coming from total internet strangers ❤

The post 12+ People Reveal Their Deepest, Darkest Secret appeared first on UberFacts.

12 People Share the Most Unbelievable Thing That Ever Happened to Them

Sometimes, things happen your friends won’t believe – like, if it happened in a book or movie, you’d roll your eyes because there’s no way it could happen.

For these 12 people, though, it definitely did.

#12. Within a month.

“I worked in steel shops for a while, this one day the foreman is lifting about 12 tons of steel beams with the crane and the block failed in spectacular fashion. The load came crashing down and landed about 8 inches from the operator. The poor guy shit himself and within a month all his hair turned grey. Had I not seen it all progress, I’d have never believed it.”

#11. He thought he was invincible.

“My great grandpa knew this guy in Germany; they were building this hotel or something (all i known is that it had multiple stories). Well the guy was plastered because they were drinking beers on the job, he was on the top floor and he ended up falling on the steps. He rolled down all of the stairs on every floor, as well as falling through the parts that were still being built. Everyone was positive he was dead, but he stood up and basically thought he was invincible.

After the incident, they all decided to go to a pub to celebrate. While they were there the guy got super cocky and decided to show everyone in the pub how he survived his fall. He had everyone stack all the tables on top of each other like stairs and decided to roll down it. He died instantly.”

#10. Never found.

“When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there.

At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn. After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn’t a little crank auger, it’s a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end.

So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever’s down there he’ll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears – but this doesn’t happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up.

By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and figure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn’t remove. The motor is really straining – you know that sound an electric motor makes when it’s working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the room.

Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl – and it’s a shower curtain.

The staff is dumbfounded. They’re trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it’s clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that the shower curtain had already been replaced, and then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide the evidence?

While they’re discussing this, the room phone rings. The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it’s the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, they manage to get the story out of her:

The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl.

The actual clog was never found.”

#9. Too unbelievable for audiences.

“In the Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916, which were a basis for Jaws, the attacks stopped after a hunting buddy of Teddy Roosevelt’s beat the shark to death with a piece of broken oar. Peter Benchley, and subsequently Hollywood, decided it was too unbelievable for audiences.”

#8. Saving the day.

“I was at the beach with my wife and kids. My teenage daughter got hit by a good size wave and lost her glasses in the surf. She was super upset as she’s pretty much blind without them, has no spare and we’re not going home for days.

I ran out into the surf to try and find them knowing it’s a total long shot. I search for maybe a minute, already about to give up because of how unlikely I am to find them when I spot them, dive into the waist high water and grab them, saving the day.”

#7. It wasn’t a dog.

“Not me, but my mom.

She got home from school as a kid, saw a big white dog on her porch, and went to ask my grandma if she could pet it.

It wasn’t a dog, it was an arctic wolf that escaped from the zoo.”

#6. IRL.

“If a guy named Weiner sent dick pics in a movie, I wouldn’t believe it. Yet, Anthony Weiner did that IRL.”

#5. Ironically.

“During the development period of Ridley Scott’s Gladiator, there was a scene written for the character of Maximus where once he’d become a famous gladiator he’d do a product endorsement for a brand of olive oil.

The reason for this was historical accuracy, gladiators actually did paid endorsements for products, however because the concept seemed so anachronistic the scene was dropped, ironically to improve the sense of historical accuracy.”

#4. Like nothing happened.

“I saw a mugger walk up to a 70 something year old lady and try to steal her bag. He grabbed it she tugged back and smacked him in the face with it and told him to go fuck himself and just continued walking like nothing happened.”

#3. He survived.

“Michael Malloy- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Malloy

Tl; dr, a known drunk in an NY bar had (unbeknownst to him) a life insurance policy taken out on him by some fellow bar patrons who conspired to kill him and to cash in on the policy. Their attempts varied from covering him in water and leaving him in a park to freeze, serving him a nail sandwich, hitting him with a car, and more. He survived five attempts on his life. I cannot imagine the look on the others guys faces when he just kept returning to the bar.”

#2. World goes to sh*t.

“The whole assassination of Franz Ferdinand fiasco. 1st attempt failed, went for a sandwich, target accidentally drives past you in an alley, world goes to shit.”

#1. The silkworm emerged.

“I use to be a logger out west and had an incident that was right out of a movie. We had just taken our lunch break and were working on a fairly steep hill. We had found a silk worm and a few of us were holding it during the break (has to do with the story). Another crew above us started working a few minutes before us and the few of us below were just getting out saws back up and about to move out. We suddenly hear a loud “ROCK” shout from above. An Indiana Jones size boulder had been knocked loose and shot out from about 30 feet above us.

The three of us below saw it and dove out of the way. It proceed to crash into out packs and shatter into two giant boulders and it kept on rolling. We started yelling “ROCK” in case anyone was down there and the boulders eventually hit trees and stopped near a level area. We went back to our packs and my buddies is completely destroyed. He had a pot in his bag that he used for lunches and it was smashed.

We started to clean up and the silk worm emerges from the smashed pot like nothing happned. It always reminded me of a Disney film, where the cartoons get hit with something that would surely kill it in real life but it just bounces back up.”

The post 12 People Share the Most Unbelievable Thing That Ever Happened to Them appeared first on UberFacts.