10 of the Most Brutal Revenge Stories in History

Confession time: I’m actually a bit of a history nerd (or buff, if you prefer). History is full of so many interesting moments if you know where to look.

So go ahead and thank these 10 people in advance for telling some pretty amazing, true historical stories, this time about revenge.

#1. The best and the wisest out of the way

“Princess Olga of Kiev. Her husband was murdered by the Drevlians. So she was in charge of the city. Then the Drevlians wanted her to marry their prince. They sent 20 of their best men to convince her to marry their prince. She had them buried alive.

She then sent a message that she accepted the proposal, but required the Drevlians to send their best men to accompany her on her journey in order for the common people to accept the transition.

They sent the best and wisest men who governed their land. When they arrived she sent them up and offered them a bath house to get cleaned up and relax after the long journey. Once inside she barred the doors and burned it down.

With the best and wisest out of the way, she invited more of them over for a funeral service. And somehow not sensing the trap, 5,000 of them showed up. Once they were good and drunk she had her men kill all of them.

She then placed their city under siege. And after several days she asked for 3 pigeons and 3 sparrows from each household, claiming she didn’t want to burden their city any further. The people happily complied.

Olga then had her soldiers each take a bird and attach a burning coal to it (somehow) and released the birds and they all flew back to the city and it burned to the ground.

Damn it’s good to be gangster.”

#2. The Indian Slayer

“Maybe not the most satisfying but, the story of Tom Quick the Indian Slayer is pretty insane and fucked up. The Quick’s were one of the first white families to settle on the Delaware river near Milford PA. Initially they had good relation with the natives but after a group of them killed Tom Quick Sr., Jr. swore he would never rest until he killed the entire Lenape tribe, who were responsible. He supposedly killed 99 of them in his lifetime and on his death bed asked his son to bring him one more so he could make it an even 100. His son refused but after his death members of the Lenape stole his body, cut it up and sent parts to all the neighboring clans. Each clan had a pow-wow where they burnt their part of the body as a celebration of the death of their long time foe. The only problem was Tom Quick died of small pox and these pow-wow effectively spread the illness to nearly the entirely of the Lenape people. He swore he wouldn’t rest until he destroyed the tribe and in death, he did just that.

Here’s a write up from 1851 that paints him as a hero: http://www.jrbooksonline.com/HTML-docs/tom_quick_1851.htm”

#3. The men who killed his father

“Frank Eaton, who became a sharpshooter when he was 15 by outshooting everyone at a nearby fort, then personally hunted and shot down all the men who killed his father. One of the men was killed before Eaton could get to him, so he went to his funeral to make sure he was dead.”

#4. Long game revenge

“Count of monte Cristo is a pretty good one. That book is practically a standard for long game revenge.”

#5. A queen’s vengeance

“Boudica.

(According to Tacitus’ version of events which are much more fucking metal).

Boudica, as queen of the Iceni after the death of her husband King Prasutagus, saw the Romans rape her daughters, confiscate her lands and then publicly flog her. So doing the sensible thing, she raises an army and marches on Camulodunum (Colchester) in AD60.

She massacres the population, methodically burns the city, and displays the bodies for miles around. After effectively destroying the IX Legion sent to relieve it, she marches on Londinium (London). This she also burns, to such an extent that a fine red layer of pottery fragments and brick ash is visible under London’s streets, and then does the same to Verulamium (St. Albans).

Boudica is only finally defeated by Governor Suetonius Paulinus, who marches down from his campaigns in Wales to halt her at the Battle of Wattling Street in AD. 61. By this point though, she’d killed around 80,000 Roman citizens and auxiliaries.”

#6. Without retribution

“The Cask of Amontillado, specifically because of the main character’s insistence on not only having revenge, but having it without retribution, and such that Fortunado knew that it was him who did it.”

#7. Not history, but it’s too good to leave out

“The giving tree.”

#8. Too sore to defend themselves

“The story of Dinah from the Old Testament.

TL;DR- Dude rapes girl, then asks her family to marry her. Family says sure, but all of your people need to be circumsized first.

After the circumcisions happened, the family fell on them and slaughtered the men while they were too sore to defend themselves.”

#9. Rural American Punisher

“Buford Hayse Pusser, he was sheriff, they killed his wife and he went on a one man war to rid his county of all crime. He was basically rural America Punisher.”

#10. A pretty good one

“Titus Andronicus is a pretty good one and an overall interesting book.”

I’m off to fall into a Wikipedia hole!

The post 10 of the Most Brutal Revenge Stories in History appeared first on UberFacts.

December 28, 2018

15 Little Things You Can Do to Appear More Attractive

The older I get, the less I care about what people think of me, especially whether or not they find me attractive. I’m not really someone who thinks too hard about my appearance, and besides, the people who love me do so for reasons other than what I look like.

However, I must admit there are still times when looking attractive (or at least presentable) is required or desired. And if I were single, I would be more invested in my appearance, for sure. If that’s your current sitch, then you might be interested in what these 13+ people have to say!

#1. Magically transformed

“Be kind and joyful.

Be engaging.

Be funny.

I once saw a documentary and one of the women was objectively very unattractive, just a weird looking face, no makeup, almost looked like an alien. But she was so lively and fun, and full of enthusiasm and good humor that by the end of it she had magically transformed into an attractive person before my eyes.”

#2. A list of tips

“Be clean and well kept. Here are some of my best tips:

Cleanliness:

Shower daily, use good quality soap that isn’t overly scented
Wash and condition your hair every few days if not daily (depends on your hair)
Wear deodorant
Wear clothes that are clean and fit well
Looking healthy:

Drink plenty of water, it will make you look and feel more awake and can help clear up your skin
Eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, this will also contribute to glowing skin and can also help you shed excess weight
Get plenty of sleep. Not getting enough sleep contributes to weight gain, dull and/or blemished skin, under-eye circles, and an all around “tired” look
Grooming:

Keep your eyebrows maintained – if you don’t get them waxed, be sure to pluck stray hairs, especially between your brows. You can also spritz an old toothbrush with hair spray and brush your eyebrows, which keeps them in place and neat throughout the day
MOISTURIZE! This is especially important in the dry winter months. Invest in a good moisturizer for your body and another for your face. You don’t have to spend a ton of money, they have good moisturizers at drugstores and supermarkets
Keep your hair neat and brushed, styled with a little product if necessary. If you dye your hair, don’t let your roots grow out too long
Keep your nails clean and trimmed/filed/manicured. If you wear nail polish, either touch it up or take it off when it starts chipping. If your nails are long, be sure to clean underneath them regularly
Find a perfume or cologne that you like, that isn’t too overpowering, and that mixes well with your body. Wear it regularly
KEEP YOUR TEETH AS NICE AS YOU CAN. Teeth are a HUGE factor in attractiveness. If your teeth are crooked, you can’t change that (at least not immediately), but you can floss daily, brush twice a day, and wear your retainer/mouth guard if you have one. Take the best possible care of your teeth that you can
Style:

Dress appropriately for your job; this differs depending on the job, obviously
Wear a few classic pieces of jewelry. A watch, nice bracelet, rings, etc. Jewelry is fine, but don’t go too over the top with cheap, gaudy jewelry
Invest in a few pairs of nice shoes. Again, what type of shoes you invest in depends on your job and lifestyle.”

#3. Memory

“Remember the persons name and use it when appropriate. Not being able to remember my name 5 minutes after meeting me is a huge turn off.”

#4. Kind of my specialty

“Stripper here, I’m a bit late to this party but this is kinda my specialty so figured I’d contribute. People think good looks are all luck or genetics or whatever, nope. They’re attainable by almost anyone imho.

Hygiene is #1. You could be a perfect 10, but smell bad or have bad breath and that drops you instantly to about a 3. Shower everyday. Listen to the dentist, brush and floss everyday.
Have a bit of a tan. It makes you look about 5-10 pounds slimmer instantly. You dont need to lay In the sun to do this either – I use Jergens Natural glow moisturiser which is like $8.59 at Target and won’t give you skin cancer.
Whiten your teeth. You don’t need expensive procedures or veneers to do this. Crest Whitestrips work just fine. They’re about $50, for a week long treatment that lasts a year.
If you are a lady, having long hair makes you look much slimmer and more attractive. Straightening it is a bonus. Just be careful with heat treatments – if you straighten every day like I do, use a product to protect from heat. Anything by Redken is great.
Learn the art of makeup, ladies. Guys say they appreciate “natural beauty” but their idea of this is so rare it almost doesnt exist. You want to be wearing makeup but have it look like you aren’t. Learn contouring and a subtle cat eye, for example. Done right, this will up your “score” by a good 2 pts. My SO (we are very honest w each other) knows all my makeup routines; he says I’m a 7 without makeup and a 9 with, and he isn’t wrong.
Wear clothes that fit. If you’re a medium buy a medium rather than trying to squeeze into a small.”

#5. Clean and confident

“Hydrate your skin and take care of your hair.
Smell good.
Take care of your teeth.
Wear clean clothes that make you feel confident.

But most importantly: smile and make eye contact (not staring!) with people.”

#6. Posture, posture, posture

“I had success with a mixture of:

rolling out my thoratic spine (helps with slouch)
barbell rows (pulls shoulders back. ideally you’d work out your full body)
core work (straightens hips)
think about being pulled up by strings like a puppet to straighten up. eventually it becomes natural to do if you practice it enough.”

#7. Clean and trimmed

“Keep your fingernails clean and trimmed. No one cares if you look like Idris Elba or Olivia Wilde if your nails look like you pick your ass with them.”

#8. Strengths and weaknesses

“Lean on your strengths, forget about your weaknesses.

Figure out what your best feature is and make that as noticeable as possible. If you have great hair/eyes/butt/whatever, draw as much attention as you can to it.

The idea behind this goes like this – people generally only notice/remember one or two things about about a person. If you can impress on them that you have really strong shoulders or really great tits that’s generally all they’ll remember. “Karen?… Oh right, the girl with that beautiful long curly red hair! She’s pretty.” But if Karen is a little overweight or has an ugly voice, they will be less likely to remember that than if she has a good feature that she can make stand out.

As well, you can’t have awesome/perfect everything. So rather than trying to work on everything all at once, or trying to change things like height/face shape, just try to improve and highlight something you already have. Hide your weaknesses in plane sight.

So, figure out what your “thing” can be and accentuate that as much as possible.”

#9. Practice

“Learn your angles!! Practice smiling in a mirror and figure out what expressions look best on you.”

#10. Double points

“You’d be surprised what a shower a day, and clean clothes will do. Double points for having well kempt hair.”

#11. Always a jokester in the crowd

“Low lighting.”

#12. Simple things

“The same answers appear every time this gets asked, and ultimately boils down to the same pointers.

– Decent haircut (also hair that isn’t greasy).

– Clothes that fit properly (Not to baggy or purchased from Walmart, I like Ross and sometimes I’ll frequent the mall, I like the vans store).

– Cut your nails

– Smell nice (There are memes referencing a woman’s “hoe side coming out” when smelling a nice fragrance.

I’m not the best looking guy out there, kind of chubby with big glasses at times, some times I wear contacts. My girlfriend is a knockout though, and I like to think covering the previously mentioned pointers helped me out.

Side Note: If you want to meet women you have to talk to them, starting the conversation is half the battle, Introduce yourself, ask a question that may lead to another question to keep things going.

I.E. ” Do you like coffee”? Followed by “Would you like to get coffee:?

This will may lead to intercourse but is not guaranteed.”

#13. Niceties

“Be nice to other people. Show gratitude. Laugh a lot. These things are very attractive to other people even if they can’t pinpoint why they like someone. This attitude or way of being will start to show in other aspects of your life.”

#14. A great haircut

“Always have a great haircut or hairdo and smell nice.”

#15. Physical activity

“Physical activity of any sort, doesn’t have to be weightlifting but that’s an option.”

Go forth and stun!

The post 15 Little Things You Can Do to Appear More Attractive appeared first on UberFacts.

December 28, 2018

Girl Tries to Scam Tinder Date for a Free Fancy Dinner, Backfires Spectacularly

If you’re old enough to have dated both pre- and post-Tinder, you know how much the app has changed the game. One little swipe is all it takes now. Still, some things never change: dating was kinda sucky before, and it can still be pretty sucky now.

Instead of finding dates through mutual friends, we end up going out with strangers based on how somebody randomly answered our questions, then sitting across the table from people we don’t know at all, without any idea whether we like them that much.

I mean, how do we end up knowing less about a person despite having talked to them beforehand?!

Imgur user minilogo37 learned all of this the hard way. Because very soon into a Tinder date, he discovered that his “match” was just using him for dinner and drinks.

Photo Credit: Imgur

You can see where this is going, right?

Date orders the most expensive things on the menu.

No attempt at conversation.

Straight up scam city.

Photo Credit: Imgur

But minilogo37 didn’t take it lying down.

He fought back.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Boom.

Commenters were quick to praise him for his response to this nasty situation:

Photo Credit: Imgur

Also, this being the internet, people had other solutions for avoiding this kind of situation:

Photo Credit: Imgur

And yeah, some thought OP was a dick…

Photo Credit: Imgur

What say you? Did she deserve it? Should he have stayed and paid?

The post Girl Tries to Scam Tinder Date for a Free Fancy Dinner, Backfires Spectacularly appeared first on UberFacts.

December 21, 2018

12+ People Reveal Shocking Truths They Learned About a Loved One After Their Death

Losing a loved one is always terrible, but it’s even worse still when their passing starts to reveal some unsettling truths about their life. Learning something unexpected after a loved one is gones can add a whole other level to unpack before you’re able to move on.

#1. It was a match.

“We very recently found out via ancestry.com that my grandfather had an illegitimate child that was born the year he married my grandmother. I have a half-aunt, blood test confirmed.

She’s 50, and only knew who her father could be (my grandpa) because her mother told her what his name possibly was; went looking, and she eventually found us. My mother sent her DNA test in to confirm, and it was a match.

Edit: he passed away 19 years ago, after a car accident.”

#2. He got away with it.

“After his death I found out my Biological father sent a bomb to his ex-wife’s work. My mom was pregnant with my baby sister at the time. Luckily ex-wife had some weird feeling and reported the package. A bomb squad was able to do a controlled detonation.

He got away with it.

This is what I know. Remember I was a very small child so all my info is second hand.

From what I’ve heard there were no prints, no unique parts, nothing really all that special about what was recovered from the bomb after detonation. The only sort of tie was a portion of the label which was apparently a really odd/specific size and manufacturer. The only local/semi local places that purchased them were a place he volunteered for and some random law office or similar. They got the ex to tip him off that there was a lead on the labels and they were trying to find places that kept them. Then they set up a camera in the supply closet to see if they could catch him destroying evidence. Apparently he went in, reached for them, dropped his hand, grabbed a pen or something instead, smiled to himself and walked out. The place was very easily accessed by a large and varied group of people from around the city.

I have no fucking clue how was able to get off Scott free. But my mom said the police and FBI never came to the house again. It seems bizarre that when I was 3 years old the FBI was at my house for a bombing case while I probably played with my cabbage patch kid and my my little ponies.

When I cleaned out his house a couple decades later I found a wooden cigar box hidden in a closet full of wires, very small pliers and such. I thought it was really weird. About a week later I found out about the bombing.

Again I’m not 100% on all the details. I’ve heard all this info from my half brother, his mom the ex, and my mom. It was so long ago and before internet news was much of a thing. If really at all a thing in our town. I would dig up more but I really think the fuck face deserves as little thought as possible.”

#3. He died saving people.

“My dad was an Air Force pilot who was killed in a crash during a plane malfunction. I grew up thinking he couldn’t do anything and couldn’t land and that was it. 20 years after he died, I found out he had the choice between jettisoning to safety and risking the plane landing on the base and killing people or steering the plane as far away from people as he could and going down with it. I hate that I grew up without a dad but I’m glad he at least died saving people.”

#4. Even his wife had no idea.

“My mom’s step-grandpa told everyone he was an electrician and that he was always being called out of town to do various repair jobs.

After he died, the family received a letter from the president of the United States, revealing that he was actually a demolitions expert and worked in some sort of special ops bomb squad for the military. Even his wife had no idea.”

#5. Huge shock to everyone.

“My grandpa was a CIA operative during the cold war whos job it was to intercept Russian transmissions. Nobody except my grandma knew and she never told a soul. When he died, we found all his documents and she finally had to tell us. Huge shock to everyone.”

#6. It was really sweet.

“When my grandma died, a lot of homeless people showed up to her funeral. Turns out she was or had fed/helped them. They were crying so much, it was really sweet.”

#7. I’m glad.

“I had an aunt who was severely disabled most of her life and confined to a wheelchair. I was surprised to find out after she died she had a lover most of her life with similar disabilities who passed away shortly before her. I’m glad she had someone in her life like that.”

#8. One of her greatest moments in life.

“A few years after my great aunt passed away, we found out that she had a daughter no one in our family knew about. The daughter, who I’ll call M, had been put up for adoption when my aunt was very young.

M had been searching for her missing side of the family since she was young, and was in her fifties when she finally found us. Unfortunately, she never got to meet her biological mother, but she and her daughters couldn’t be happier to have found us, and we have welcomed them in with open arms.

My family is very musically inclined and several of us play(ed) instruments, my great aunt included. M’s daughter is very musically talented and always says that she never knew where she got it from until she met us. Her daughter told us that learning there was this whole side of her family who is just like her was one of her greatest moments in life.

M acts and talks exactly like my aunt did, always saying quirky stuff and being very animated, which fascinates me because she never was able to grow up and live with my aunt. My family is very close knit, and it hit really hard when my aunt passed away, so finding this woman who is my aunt made over has been such a blessing.

Sorry for the long story, I just love telling it.”

#9. Money makes people do horrible things.

“My Great Uncle raised my mother on the family farm, He wrote the will so that the farm would be in a trust for my mother, and if it were sold the money would held in an account with the interest going to my grandmother until she died, then my mother could do as she pleased with it.

Years go by and the area undergoes massive expansion and housing and property is at a premium. He turned down multiple multi-million dollar offers because he wanted to die there and told the developers to come back after he was gone. He passes away, then my grandparents contest the will and have it changed to become their property.

They get in touch with one of the developers and start trying to sell, in the middle they declare bankruptcy and take the first offer…..$250000 instead of holding out for the big numbers. Best part is they go and buy a new house and pay cash, then promptly lose it a few years later for not paying taxes.

So in closing I got to witness my family get ripped apart, my families property that had been in the family for since the early 1800s get sold for a song and to top it off it all got pissed away for stupidity.

TLDR: Money makes people do horrible things.”

#10. To everyone’s amazement.

“An elderly man at church lived alone (a widower) and was thought to be quite poor.

Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, parishioners would bring him food baskets and practical things he could use for daily living.

To everyone’s amazement, when he died, he left the church just under $2 million with a letter expressing his gratitude for the years of care the church had shown him.”

#11. He had planned his suicide for years.

“After my brother’s suicide, I pieced together that he had planned his suicide for years and used this long period of time to set my mother up to have a mental break down.

He was a junior high teacher and also intentionally messed with his students by claiming that he knew his date of death. He gave them hints (which of course came true) and his death fucked them up too.”

#12. I have no idea.

“I learnt 2 hours before my partner committed suicide that almost everything he ever told me was a lie.

The hours after his death I learnt that myself and our daughter were actually his second family. I had been with him for 13 years. He had been with his wife and sons for almost 30 years.

I have no idea how it was possible that he kept 2 completely separate lives going for so long.”

#13. She didn’t know what to do.

“That my great aunt had a baby in the backyard and buried it. This was in the 40’s, she was a teenager and she became pregnant due to rape and she didn’t know what to do.

Edit: To answer the most asked question, nobody knows if the baby was alive when it was born but if it was, she most likely smothered it to stop its cries and then buried it.”

#14. Until I looked…

“I had a great aunt that lived with her son. Actually her son lived with her. But we found fucking nasty pictures of them fucking. I think my mom had a suspicion it was going on. They both died around the same time and my mom ended up as executor or whatever of the estate. I remember her specifically saying not to look at any pictures we found, but I had no idea why until I looked at them.”

#15. Monster.

“My great aunt died about a year ago. She was in her mid 70s. We were unpacking all her things and we found her diaries, some from years ago and some just before her death. In her diaries she had mentioned that she despised her sister (to be honest, non of us liked her), and didn’t like a lot of my cousins.

Most shocking, she kept on talking about a man who she called, ‘monster’. This man had been sexually harassing her and abusing her for years. She never mentioned it nor indicated that anything was wrong. We suspect that it was her boss.

I loved her dearly, she was so sweet.”

The post 12+ People Reveal Shocking Truths They Learned About a Loved One After Their Death appeared first on UberFacts.

December 21, 2018

10+ Experts Give Advice on the Worst Things to Say in Your Next Speech

Fear of public speaking is a real thing. In fact, it’s actually one of the things people apparently fear more than death itself! What is it about speaking to a room of people that fills so many of us with the worst kind of existential dread?

I have found that practice and experience make everything easier (even public speaking), but advice from people who have been there can’t hurt, either. So, the next time you’re sitting down to write a speech, keep these no-no openers in mind!

#1. Clickbait.

“Top 13 reasons clickbait works. Number 10 will blow your tits clean off.”

#2. Here we go.

“I was lucky enough to be on the receiving end of “I know your all want to get out of here, and aren’t interested in a long speech, but that’s too bad, here we go…”

#3. It’s not pretty.

“I’m imagining you all in your underwear, and it’s not pretty.”

#4. Just no.

“So I was reading on the internet the other day…”

#5. Hardy-har.

“Just flew in from LA

boy are my arms tired.”

#6. Solid.

“When I in grade 4 the teacher told us opening line of speech should get people’s attention. So, my friend made a speech, and he yelled, “SEX! Okay, now that I’ve got your attention, I would like to talk about the environment.”

#7. Definitely not that.

“Once I was giving a speech and the podium wasn’t attached right, so just as I was about to start and I leaned on the podium it lifted up and the microphone hit me in the mouth.

When it was an inch away from my mouth, I had just finished the first word of my speech:

FUCK”

#8. A stunner.

“Webster’s dictionary defines <topic> as…reads dictionary definition in its entirety.”

Well this is going to be a stunner of a speech in already sure of it.”

#9. On mothers.

“As a mother…”

#10. An hour from now.

“An hour from now you’re all going to be asking yourselves ‘Is this guy EVER going to get to the point ?’ and an hour after that you still won’t know.”

#11. Hopefully.

“I am much smarter then you so hopefully you get what I am about to say.”

#12. Yawwwwn.

“Hello, my name is <name> and I’m going to talk to you about…..”

#13. Like…

“So like, uhhhh…”

#14. Insert zodiac sign.

“Well… as a insert zodiac sign I think that…”

The post 10+ Experts Give Advice on the Worst Things to Say in Your Next Speech appeared first on UberFacts.

December 21, 2018

15 Film and TV Fans Rank The Saddest Scenes of All Time

“Sad” is, of course, a pretty subjective term. It could mean a lot of different things to different people. Still, there are some things that just about everyone can agree are sad.

Today, we’ll be checking out what scences 15 film and television buffs found to be especially heart-wrenching.

#1. When somebody loved me…

“Jesse’s flashback in Toy Story 2. It fucked me up then and it fucks me up now.”

#2. Classic.

“When Jesse finds out that Leslie died in Bridge to Terabithia.”

#3. Fresh Prince

“In Fresh Prince when Will’s deadbeat father runs out on him yet again after a brief reunion and after he explains to Uncle Phil how he didn’t need his father to be the man he became, Will tearfully asks “how he come he don’t want me?”

Such a powerful scene. I feel such strong emotions every time I watch it.”

#4. Ugh, death.

“When the wife dies in Up. The end of Stepmom when she’s giving her children the gifts.”

#5. I’m tired, boss…

“The Green Mile when they had to put the big fella down ”

#6. Serenity

“I’m a leaf on the wind. Watch how…”

“Wash aint comin…”

#7. Baby Simba.

“Mufasa dying. I’ve seen The Lion King soo many times but I still tear up everytime I see young Simba trying to wake up his father.”

#8. Not in polite company.

“Buffy- the Body. Still can’t watch that episode with polite company around. It’s the “Mommy?” that gets me. Because we see this strong young woman who has saved the world half a dozen times over, the one everyone else looks to for strength and resolve, and in that moment, she’s just a little girl looking for her mommy. Tearing up as I write this.”

#9. Wallow in the sadness.

“Dumbo visiting his mom in jail.”

#10. It’s a volleyball. And yet…

“When Wilson falls off the raft.”

#11. Van Gogh.

“Van Gogh in gallery scene from Doctor Who. Nothing on TV has ever made me cry. I weeped like a little bitch after that.”

#12. It gets me every time.

“Uncle Iroh’s short story in Avatar the Last Airbender, where he sings ‘Little Soldier Boy’. It gets me every time.”

#13. He’s so smart.

“How the heck has no one said Forrest talking to Jenny’s grave?”

#14. Crying buckets.

“Potential spoilers for “About Time” which is a movie where all the men from a family have the ability to travel through time to a past memory and the “secret” is passed down from father to son.

Throughout the whole movie the son will periodically visit his father in his memories and slowly come to realize that his father has been revisiting him at various points as well. He learns eventually that he doesn’t just have the ability to revisit his past, but he can alter it and change his future.

This leads to him breaking things for the worse and him going back and fixing everything again. At some point the son learns that certain things are truly random, however, and can’t be controlled. In one timeline, the son has a daughter with his wife. In another, he has a son. This leads the father to teach his son to never go back before certain points, because you can’t control the dice roll of genetics. Changing your past in a way that alters who your kid will be is super risky, so it’s best not to risk it.

At the end of the movie, the son is about to have another kid with his wife, but his father has also died. He goes back to a memory that has played in the movie multiple times where he and his father are playing ping pong.

Instead of hitting the ball back at his father like he has countless times, the son lets it drop and his dad just looks at him. There is silence for a moment. Then he asks the son if he has died.

The son says yes and that he’s about to have another kid so he can’t come back to this memory anymore.

The dad says something like, “fancy another go?”

Then there’s a montage of home-movie-style clips where it shows the father and son essentially reliving their entire lives together once again before the son returns to the present never to see his dad again.

I’m a grown ass man and that shit made me cry fucking buckets.”

#15. I could have got more out.

“Oskar Schindler: I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don’t know. If I’d just… I could have got more.

Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are eleven hundred people who are alive because of you. Look at them.

Oskar Schindler: If I’d made more money… I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If I’d just…

Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of what you did.

Oskar Schindler: I didn’t do enough!

Itzhak Stern: You did so much.

[Schindler looks at his car]

Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people. [removing Nazi pin from lapel]

Oskar Schindler: This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this. [sobbing]

Oskar Schindler: I could have gotten one more person… and I didn’t! And I… I didn’t!”

The post 15 Film and TV Fans Rank The Saddest Scenes of All Time appeared first on UberFacts.

December 21, 2018

10+ People Talk About the Most Wasteful Purchases You Could Make

Our society can be pretty wasteful. Half (or more) of the things we use every day are designed to be disposable, and even when they’re not, people are still tossing them out. There are so many things to waste money on, what would you say is the most unnecessary expense?

Check out these responses for some inspiration (they also might make you feel a bit ashamed, but no worries – you’re not alone!).

#1. Televangelists.

“My favorite televangelist story is Jan and Paul Crouch’s. Their granddaughter (who worked as an accountant for their Christian TV channel) discovered illegal accounting practices, the family fired her, and she reported them. Highlights of their nonprofits’ spending:

$50 million jet
13 mansions
$100k rv FOR THEIR DOGS!”

#2. Diamonds.

“Diamond ring. When I proposed, I knew that my wife would prefer a pretty $60 ring and a romantic vacation in Greece.”

#3. The science of car buying.

“Buying a brand new car every couple of years.

You buy a $50,000 car you’re shaving off 10% of the total value off by driving it one inch off the lot. 2-3 years later because you need to keep up with the Joneses, you buy another car with the $28 grand you sold your previous car for.

You also wonder why you’re in debt and your friends are living in nice houses and funding their continuing education.”

#4. Since 2012.

“My coworker has had a gym membership since 2012. She has been there 3 times since. Her husband is thrilled.”

#5. Kids grow like weeds.

“Designer clothes for kids/babies when they will grow out of them within a few months. My wife works at a nursery she has parents who do this and tell the nursery staff to not let the child ruin their clothes!”

#6. Impulse purchases.

“Impulse purchases at the grocery stores, specifically at Trader Joe’s! I don’t need that coffee chocolate or ginger cookies or dunkers, Trader Joe’s. But when you’re near the cash counter and they take one look at me, I go weak in the knees.”

#7. One day affairs.

“Expensive weddings when they CAN’T afford it.”

#8. Hands down.

“Cigarettes.”

#9. The list goes on…

“My old roommate let one of his buddys stay with us one time. This guy had just lost his job, apartment and girlfriend in a week so we felt kinda bad for him. We agreed to let him stay to get back on his feet. He gets a job and immediately takes his first paycheck and buys a guitar. The whole paycheck. $450 or so. Next paycheck? $300 bong and some other stupid shit. This guy didn’t even have a cell phone or a car. So he “solved” that problem a month or so later by buying a $400 car that didnt run and a $20 burner phone. Never got the car fixed and just had it scrapped. Guy drove me crazy.

Edit: shameful dollar sign edit…”

#10. Very cheap!

“My new iPhone 12 was included for free with my plan! And so was iPhone 11 last year! I get a free telephone every year :D”

“And how much is your monthly plan?”

“Very cheap! $149 a month.”

#11. More interest.

“Maxing out their credit cards and always having to pay the interest.”

#12. You won’t know.

“Alllll the new baby things you never use. But you won’t know until you don’t use them.”

#13. It fades.

“Tanning. Not only does it damage your body, it fades in a week or two.”

#14. Just extra packaging.

“100 calorie packs of stuff.. it’s just a bunch of extra packaging, just get a kitchen scale and do your own 100 cal portions of whatever food you want and put them in a reusable container.”

#15. Daily optimism.

“Lottery tickets / gambling – in moderation, it’s daily optimism, and I get that. But a lot of people take it too far and sink way too much $, and hope, into it.”

The post 10+ People Talk About the Most Wasteful Purchases You Could Make appeared first on UberFacts.

December 17, 2018

15 People Reveal the Things Their Hometown is Infamous For

No matter where you end up in life, you’ll always remember your hometown. Maybe it’s a great place with fond memories, or maybe it’s a total s**thole that you’re glad to be away from. Every town has that one “thing” that defines it. Some places, though, have a darker claim to fame than others…

AskReddit users went on the record and shared what their hometowns are infamously known for.

1. Not the South

“I’ll preface this by saying this is not the South.

Back in the day, a crowd tried to lynch a black man over an alleged assault. A mob gathered, overpowered police, and stormed the courthouse where he was on trial. In an attempt to stop the violence, many government officials tried to address the crowd themselves. After none of this proved successful, the Mayor, fearing for his life, shot a member of this mob. The mob then attempted to hang the mayor as well.

Nowadays, it’s still one of the most dangerous cities in America, however only if you’re black.”

2. True crime

“A disproportionately high unsolved murder rate. In my 40+ years alive, there’s been less than 10 murders, (probably less than 5, but the last couple years have been a little crazy). Of those only like 3 are solved.”

3. It’s complicated

“The waterfall we have here and part of the Erie Canal. And it’s kind of a ghetto place. There’s the snobby tourist who come in and judge the people who live here. Like, dude take your hipster butt somewhere else if you don’t like us.”

4. The Big Easy

“Jambalaya, red beans and rice, Popeyes, Mardi Gras, French quarter, Bourbon Street, oh and Arby’s on canal.”

5. Dallas

“JFK got an unpleasant greeting from a guy named Lee Harvey.”

6. C’mon, sheriff…

“Our sheriff arrested Willie Nelson’s band… for weed.”

7. Well, sh*t

“Being full of sh*tty people. I’m not even kidding, if you go anywhere else in the province, and you mention my hometown, people usually grimace or pity you or even straight up ask you if you’re a piece of sh*t like everyone else there.”

8. Dad doesn’t reside there

“Big old prison. Smaller newer prison.

The big old one is used in films a lot, for example Shawshank.

The funny thing is, being born there it had no connotations for me. So when my parents split up and we moved, and people asked where my father was, and I told them, they all assumed he was locked up good.”

9. Deep in the heart of Texas

“Andrea Yates

Clara Harris

Enron collapse

Candy Man killer in the 70s (I didn’t exist then)”

10. Oscar!

“A giant, possibly man-eating, certainly terrifying snapping turtle, whose name is Oscar. We also have the oldest continuous annual festival in Indiana, which is a celebration of same turtle.”

11. Hellhole

“Very little, but Fatboy Slim, who grew up there, once called it “A suburban hellhole” which made the front cover of the local newspaper for three weeks in a row as people were so upset. He wasn’t wrong though.”

12. Google it

“The local football/Soccer team lied and said one of the players died so they didn’t have to play a match. (Players wanted to go to a stag do) There was a minutes silence for him and everyone thought he was dead. He was fine and just went home to Spain. This was like 2 days ago lol. Google it. Clubs name is Ballybrack FC. It’s been all over the news and I imagine it’s what we’re gonna be known for from now on.”

13. A sad state of affairs

“Apparently it’s a heroin death rate 25x the national average.”

14. Not a good combo

“Country music and meth.”

15. What an honor

“We were the subject of a 4chan prank and got Pitbull to come to our Walmart.”

The post 15 People Reveal the Things Their Hometown is Infamous For appeared first on UberFacts.

December 17, 2018

15 People Reveal the Things Their Hometown is Infamous For

AskReddit users went on the record and shared what their hometowns are infamously known for.

1. Not the South

“I’ll preface this by saying this is not the South.

Back in the day, a crowd tried to lynch a black man over an alleged assault. A mob gathered, overpowered police, and stormed the courthouse where he was on trial. In an attempt to stop the violence, many government officials tried to address the crowd themselves. After none of this proved successful, the Mayor, fearing for his life, shot a member of this mob. The mob then attempted to hang the mayor as well.

Nowadays, it’s still one of the most dangerous cities in America, however only if you’re black.”

2. True crime

“A disproportionately high unsolved murder rate. In my 40+ years alive, there’s been less than 10 murders, (probably less than 5, but the last couple years have been a little crazy). Of those only like 3 are solved.”

3. It’s complicated

“The waterfall we have here and part of the Erie Canal. And it’s kind of a ghetto place. There’s the snobby tourist who come in and judge the people who live here. Like, dude take your hipster butt somewhere else if you don’t like us.”

4. The Big Easy

“Jambalaya, red beans and rice, Popeyes, Mardi Gras, French quarter, Bourbon Street, oh and Arby’s on canal.”

5. Dallas

“JFK got an unpleasant greeting from a guy named Lee Harvey.”

6. C’mon, sheriff…

“Our sheriff arrested Willie Nelson’s band… for weed.”

7. Well, sh*t

“Being full of sh*tty people. I’m not even kidding, if you go anywhere else in the province, and you mention my hometown, people usually grimace or pity you or even straight up ask you if you’re a piece of sh*t like everyone else there.”

8. Dad doesn’t reside there

“Big old prison. Smaller newer prison.

The big old one is used in films a lot, for example Shawshank.

The funny thing is, being born there it had no connotations for me. So when my parents split up and we moved, and people asked where my father was, and I told them, they all assumed he was locked up good.”

9. Deep in the heart of Texas

“Andrea Yates

Clara Harris

Enron collapse

Candy Man killer in the 70s (I didn’t exist then)”

10. Oscar!

“A giant, possibly man-eating, certainly terrifying snapping turtle, whose name is Oscar. We also have the oldest continuous annual festival in Indiana, which is a celebration of same turtle.”

11. Hellhole

“Very little, but Fatboy Slim, who grew up there, once called it “A suburban hellhole” which made the front cover of the local newspaper for three weeks in a row as people were so upset. He wasn’t wrong though.”

12. Google it

“The local football/Soccer team lied and said one of the players died so they didn’t have to play a match. (Players wanted to go to a stag do) There was a minutes silence for him and everyone thought he was dead. He was fine and just went home to Spain. This was like 2 days ago lol. Google it. Clubs name is Ballybrack FC. It’s been all over the news and I imagine it’s what we’re gonna be known for from now on.”

13. A sad state of affairs

“Apparently it’s a heroin death rate 25x the national average.”

14. Not a good combo

“Country music and meth.”

15. What an honor

“We were the subject of a 4chan prank and got Pitbull to come to our Walmart.”

The post 15 People Reveal the Things Their Hometown is Infamous For appeared first on UberFacts.

December 17, 2018

10+ Chefs Share Some of Their Favorite Recipes That You Can Make at Home

Do you like to cook, or are you the type of person who burns water? Well, who better to get some recipes and tips from than trained chefs, who are out there cooking yummy meals for us day in and day out?

In this AskReddit article, culinary professionals share some of their favorite recipes, most of which are easy enough for even the most inept home cook to get great results!

1. Wings

“Righto, you want some hot wings? Heres my EC Wings recipe, not for the faint of heart y’all. The EC – Existential Crisis – wing recipe is all about level of burn and interaction of different SHU levels in chilli tastes. Let’s get her rollin ey, cos this one will take at least a day to throw together.

Wings, part 1

Get yerself 4 wings – This recipe is for 4 of em so multiply ingredients if needs be – and chuck em in a sealable freezer bag SKIN ON. This ain’t about dietary concerns. Add about

80mls of Soy Sauce (Sweet Soy if you’re skipping the sauce step further down)
30mls of Red Wine Vinegar
60mls Lime Juice, fresh squeezed. None of that bottled shit.
2 cloves of Garlic (finely diced, or a heaped tablespoon of Garlic Paste)
a heaped Teaspoon of Carolina Reaper Paste. For the Reaper paste I recommend Chilli Factory’s one, although this can be substituted for whatever you want heat wise – Sometimes I’ll use a smokey Chipotle instead if I’m cooking for others who ain’t on my chilli level. Regardless: for this recipe, the hottest chilli yer using is for the Marinade.
Mix all that up in a Blender or in a bowl with a fork if you’re old fashioned like that, pour it into the bag with the chook and seal it. Give her a good shake for coverage and chuck it in the fridge overnight – absolute minimum of 12 hours to marinate.

The sauce:

Another overnighter, borrowed this recipe from online and tweaked it a bit. Not a necessary addition, but you’ll be robbing yourself if you don’t do it as well.

12 finely diced Birds Eye Chillies (Peri Peri)
One clove of Garlic
40ml White Vinegar
1/2 teaspoon of salt
Combine and let her sit in room temperature for 12 hours or overnight, longer the better IMO. Now, before cooking the chicken – as the sauce has gotta cool – drop the sauce mix into a small saucepan on medium heat. Add a teaspoon of Caster Sugar and stir through, bringing it to the boil. Then crank yer heat down and let it simmer till the chillies are soft. Pour out and let that cool, I usually chuck mine in e freezer for 30 mins then fridge it. Once cooled, blender time til nice and smooth.

Guess what you just made? SRIRACHA. Noice. Well, Sriracha is with Jalapeños but whatevs, I’m manly and jalapeños are nothing to me. Plus, Jalapeños are in the Part 2 of the chicken.

Anywho, whilst the sauce is chilling in the fridge, pour 100ml of Orange (or Mango, mango works great too) Juice and a shot of Grand Marnier into a small saucepan. Reduce at high heat, whilst sprinkling more caster sugar in slowly, continuously stirring when it comes back to the boil. Once the consistency is thick like cream, take it off the heat, combine it with the homemade Sriracha, and chuck it back in the fridge. You’re left with a fruity dipping sauce that will punch you in the face if you look at it wrong.

Chicken, part 2

Almost there. This step is entirely optional as well, but in for a penny eh?

Finely dice about 6 decent sized Habaneros and [follow this guide here] (https://np.reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/3j5lqs/my_homemade_habanero_powder_xpost_from_rfood/). PROTIP: open all your windows and maybe even chuck on a face mask as the fumes get stuck in the back of your throat pretty damn well.

Chicken part 3, the final chapter

Get yerself a bowl with a few whipped up eggs in it, and two shallow bowls. To one of em, add…

Half a cup of Breadcrumbs
Tablespoon of Salt (I use Himalayan Pink Salt because I’m classy as fuck like that)
Tablespoon of Cracked Black Pepper (Sichuan Peppercorns if you got em, distinct flavour base change for the better)

Sprinkle of Cayenne pepper

Dried Chillies from earlier. If you didn’t do that shrug your loss IMO, cos it makes the recipe.

To the other bowl, chuck a cup of flour in it. Grab your wings one at a time but keep the rest of the Marinade. Give the wings a shake to get rid of excess Marinade, even pat em down with a paper towel. Why, you ask? All that acid from the vinegar and juice earlier has already penetrated the meat like a Seviche and brought the Reaper paste and garlic flavour with it so it’s only needed just prior to cooking now. Give it a dredging in the flour, and carefully dip through the egg wash. Next, hold over the bowl with the chilli breading bits, grab a handful of the mixture and sprinkle it on til you can’t see the meat anymore. DO NOT dredge it in the Breading Mix, trust me. Place the wing on a lightly oiled pan, and when fully loaded back in the fridge uncovered for an hour. This should set the breaded bits.

Finally, preheat your oven to 180 degrees Celsius and slide those bad boys in there for 15 minutes give or take. Baste over the top with the extra Marinade every 5 minutes, and turn over.

After that long and complicated process, you’ll have the Best Goddamn Hot-Wings you’ll ever eat, or my name ain’t Fatbeard. Which it obviously ain’t, but y’know what I mean.

Who’s hungry?”

2. Tips from dad

“My Dad is a chef and he always makes unusual and delicious stuff. Homemade spicy cocktail sauce with grated jicama in it. Marinade jalapeno slices in soy sauce, it’s great.

The best is something that only other chefs are ever excited to try, but it’s so amazing. Stick with me on this. . . Blue cheese cinnamon rolls.

Start with a good yeast dough, fill with a cinnamon mix that is heavy on the cinnamon and a bit a nutmeg and all spice, and light on the brown sugar. No white sugar at all.

One risen and baked sprinkle with blue cheese crumbles while still warm. Once slightly melty drizzle with a white glaze.

Do not use cream cheese frosting. Do not frost. Light on the sugar glaze, do not treat it like you think you’re Johnson’s corner.

I promise it’s amazing.”

3. Cookies

“Chicago Crunch Chocolate Chip Cookies. My mom originally saw the recipe in Woman’s Day or Family Circle years ago but this is the same one from Recipeland. She’d make these every holiday gathering and when my younger brother and I had curriculum day early release. Some people think it’s weird to put corn flakes inside of your cookies, but it’s actually pretty common in some places. I’ve just never seen it done quite like this before.”

4. Peposo

“Peposo (a black pepper based stew) is pretty great for home cooks. It looks classy as sh!t, it’s easy, doesn’t take much work, and absolutely “holy hell how can something be this good” delicious if you don’t cook often.

The only downside is that they don’t get to see you make it since the “impressive” part of the cooking happens about 3.5 hours before the finishing.

All you need is short rib (bone in you savages), a bottle of Chianti, and a ludicrous quantity of pepper. Of course, salt, tomato paste, a couple herbs, and some rice is definitely a plus.

Smash/crush some garlic, mix with tomato paste and liberally smear onto the short rib.

Buy whole black pepper corns. Crush some using a cutting board and skillet, maybe 2 tablespoons for 3 pounds? I’ve never measured, and usually add ground pepper too.

Put the beef in a pot/saute pan, add pepper on top. Poke in some herbs/ bag leaves/whatever if you have it. Pour in most of a bottle of Chianti. The cheap but not completely shit kind with work. Set it on high heat, turn down as low as you can right before boil. Add lid. Leave for 2 hours. Optionally flip beef prices and if possible, slide the bone out. If you take the bones out, leave them in the pot. Cook for another hour-hour and a half. It’s basically impossible to overdo this stuff, so just don’t stop until it’s basically falling apart when you touch it. Remove the herbs, beef, and bones. Give the bones to the dog. Enjoy his eternal love. Uncover and turn the heat back as high as it will go. Reduce until it’s nice and thick or it’s half the volume it was. Salt to taste (taste your food numbnuts). Put rice/polenta on a plate in a pretty shape. Stack some meat chunks on top. Pour over your sauce (you might need to whisk it to combat separation).

Make sure to make sexy eyes when they take a bite, they will have a spontaneous orgasm.

Honorable mention for learning to make your own marinade so that all your meat tastes better.”

5. Yummy!

“I make a grilled guacamole. Pretty standard guacamole recipe but everything gets charred on the grill and then cut and mashed. Creates the most delicious smoky flavor and takes guac to the next level! Something I thought couldn’t be done.”

6. Blew away the competition

“Mashed potato recipe I found online that blew away the competition this thanksgiving.

Boil 5 lbs of quartered, unpeeled Yukon gold or Idaho gold taters in 4 cups of whole milk, 4 cups of heavy cream, 9 sprigs of thyme, 8 cloves of garlic, 3 bay leaves. Once they are mashable, strain potatoes, remove herbs, mash, then fold the strained milk concoction back in slowly. Fold in 2-4 tablespoons of butter, roughly 2 tablespoons of olive oil, salt, pepper, and 3 tablespoons of grainy mustard.

I made turkey too so I took the bacon I used to keep the turkey moist and minced it and threw that in the mashed taters as well. Finally, to make it healthy, I threw in a handful of chopped parsley. Gold it up nicely. Watch as your taters are annihilated at thanksgiving and the sad, russet potato, dry as f*ck mash remains untouched!”

7. Beer bread

“Beer bread. It is one of the easiest things to make and who doesn’t like fresh bread. Take a can of beer, 3 cups of flour, 3 teaspoons of baking powder, 1 teaspoon of salt and mix it together. Put it in a bread pan and throw it in the oven at 375 for an hour. That’s it.”

8. Biscuits and Gravy

“Ok, I have worked as a professional chef, and here’s something wonderful for you out of my recipe file:

Special Biscuits and Gravy for a crowd

Gravy:

1 stick unsalted butter

1 medium sweet or yellow onion, very finely chopped or processed

2-3# fresh, good quality pork sausage

~1/4 c AP flour for thickening

2 c half and half + ~ 2 cups whole milk, preheated to below boiling in microwave

1/2 t fresh nutmeg

pinch cayenne pepper

salt & pepper to taste

In a medium dutch oven, over med heat, melt butter and then sauté onions until they are deeply caramelized, stirring often. Set onions aside, spray dutch oven with nonstick spray, add pork sausage, cook until heavily browned. Reintroduce onions, add flour, tossing mixture to combine – no flour specks should be visible.

Add hot milk mixture to pork and onions, using whisk or wooden spoon to scrape up fond and combine. Increase heat to med-high, stirring constantly, then drop to low when it starts simmering. Add nutmeg, cayenne, salt & pepper to taste.

Biscuits:

3 c cake flour

3 c AP flour

2 sticks butter, chilled, cut into slices

2 c shredded sharp cheddar cheese, frozen

1 T kosher salt

2 T baking powder

1/2 c finely chopped green onions (optional)

~2 c chilled cream

Preheat oven to 350F convection, 375F standard oven.

Process the cake flour with 1 stick butter until only small specks of butter remain, dump into stand mixer work bowl. Repeat with AP flour. Add cheese, salt, baking powder, green onions. Mix on low in stand mixer to thoroughly combine. Put flour mixture in freezer for 20 minutes. Add cream until a wet, sticky dough is formed, don’t overmix, make sure nothing dry remains on the bottom of the work bowl.

Using a greased spatula, turn dough out onto a heavily greased half sheet, pressing it into the corners. Bake, turning pan once, until golden, about 25 minutes.

Split hot biscuits, top with gravy.”

9. Simple and awesome

“I make a great coconut curry. It is so simple and tastes awesome.

To make the spice mix combine:

1/2 tsp cumin 1/2 tsp coriander 1/2 tsp cardamom 1/2 tsp ground cloves 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon 1/4 tsp chili powder 1/4 tsp ground ginger 1/4 tsp turmeric salt and pepper to taste red pepper flakes to taste

In a medium sized sauce pan with enough olive oil to cover the bottom, brown some meat of choice (preferably, cubed beef, chicken or ground lamb in little meat balls).Add a diced medium sized onion once the meat is 3/4 cooked through. Once the onion goes translucent, add 2 cloves minced garlic. Add a sliced hot pepper (or peppers of your choice) and the spice mix. Stir through for 20-30 seconds and then add a can of coconut milk. Stir that and bring to a simmer. Take off the stove and serve over rice.”

10. Ooooohhhh this sounds good

“PEI POTATO CHOCOLATE CAKE

1 cup hot mashed potatoes, not seasoned
1 cup lukewarm water
2/3 cup soft margarine
2 cups white sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
4 eggs
2 cups flour
3/4 cup cocoa
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350°F . Prepare cake pan (tube pan) by lightly greasing & then dusting with flour. Whisk water into well mashed potatoes until a smooth mixture is formed. Cool to lukewarm.

Beat margarine & sugar with electric mixer until combined. Add vanilla & beat 2 minutes at medium speed. Add 2 eggs and beat until blended. Add remaining 2 eggs. Beat at medium speed until blended. Sift together dry ingredients & stir to combine. At low speed, add 1/3 of the sifted dry ingredients, alternately with half the potato mixture, until all is blended.

Fold in chocolate chips. Turn batter into prepared pan. Bake in over for about 55 minutes. Cool on rack. Top with confectioners’ sugar.

Enjoy!”

11. Carnitas!

“There was a carnitas recipe on Reddit not long ago… tried it, even went to a special grocery store for Mexican coke since the recipe is different than typical American Coke… it was heavenly. And so inexpensive. And freezes so well. Three criteria for a great bulk recipe that makes your life easier, your wallet richer, and your soul happier.

Edit to add recipe from original post. If you want to find it, its on r/slowcooker

Inspired by /u/Lalalaraee !

4 pounds (or 2 kg) pork butt (or shoulder)

3-4 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon pepper

1 tablespoon dried oregano (or Mexican oregano)

1 tablespoon ground cumin

1 large brown or white onion, cut into wedges

8 cloves garlic, smashed

2 limes, juiced

2 large oranges, juiced (or 3/4 cup natural orange juice)

3/4 cup Original coke (Mexican coke is ideal)

2 bay leaves

Combine everything and cook on low for 8-10 hours. Don’t discard liquid!

Place on baking sheet, cover with 1 cup of liquid and broil. Watch closely!

The recipe recommended broiling for 15 minutes but I only broiled for 5, any longer and ours would have burned. Enjoy guys!”

12. A good bargain

“I did the chef thing for a while but didn’t like the end-game. Switched focus to bodybuilding but still have some ezmode recipes that even redditors can’t screw up.

Fish. Tilapia / Salmon / Whatev

Let sit till room temp. Put it on a sheet of foil.
Drizzle with olive oil.
Add lemon pepper and creole or season-all.
Pinch of parsely. Can be fresh, doesn’t matter.
Fold it up in foil, like a pouch, so no fluid will escape. Bake it at 425F (Make sure oven is preheated.) for 10-12 minutes depending on how big it is. 10 will be safe to eat for any size and 12 won’t overcook the smallest pieces so set your timer for 10 minutes and if it sits in the oven an extra 2 don’t stress.

Unwrap it and you’re good to go. Restaurants will charge a good $15-30 for this and you can make this for under $5.”

13. CHILI

“My mom’s super easy white chicken chili recipe, and my all time favorite. This recipe has won 3 different chili cookoffs and nobody knows just how easy and effortless it is.

1 cup sour cream

15 ounces chicken broth, maybe a little more depending on preference.

2 cups freshly shredded Monterrey jack cheese

1 small can green chilis

3 cans Great Northern beans (those white beans, whatever they’re called)

Chicken breast. I usually do 2 or 3 depending on the size.

How to make:

Cook chicken however you want, shred it or chop it, your choice. I usually just bake the chicken for 25 minutes at 350 degrees. My wife prefers shredded, I prefer chopped cuz ain’t nobody got time for that.

Drain the beans, rinse em if you want. I mash half of them, my mom doesn’t, do what you want here.

Once chicken and beans are done, throw them in a pan and add everything else on the list and mix it up, bring it up to a medium heat and just mix it around until it’s all hot, usually 20 minutes or so. The longer the better. Just cook it until your hunger decides enough is enough. When we do this chili we usually go the Crockpot route – add everything to the Crockpot and cook on low for anywhere between 3-9 hours.

Chili best enjoyed poured over fritos, with lime sprinkled over the top.”

14. Making it for decades

“Beef Wellington with mushroom pate. Never fails…been making it for decades!

2 filet mignons, about 1 inch thick

salt and pepper, to taste

1 recipe mushroom pate (see below)

1 pkg frozen puff pastry shells or dough

1 egg, beaten with 1 tablespoon milk or cream

Thaw puff pastry. Season filets with salt and pepper. On a board, roll out 2 puff pastry shells (or if using sheets, roll out the sheet) cutting a round big enough to encase the filets. Spread the pate on top of each filet. Wrap the filets in puff pastry, pate side down so the seams are on the bottom of each wrapped filet. Seal the edges with the egg mixture. Brush egg mixture all over pastry to give a glossy sheen. Roll out another sheet of pastry. Cut out shapes you desire and and decorate each wrapped filet. Brush again with egg mixture. Bake the wrapped filets on cookie sheet in a preheated 375 degree oven for about 20 minutes. The pastry will be golden brown. The filets will come out medium rare. If you are a well done lover, this will not work. Tenderloin is best under-cooked. It might get tough if you cook them till they are well done.Mushroom Pate:

Ingredients10 Tbsp butter, cut in pieces.2 1/2 c flour1/2 tsp salt1/3 c sour cream1 egg, slightly beaten4 Tbsp butter3 Tbsp finely chopped shallots1/2 lb finely chopped mushrooms2 Tbsp flour1 c heavy cream (whipping cream)1 Tbsp finely chopped chives1/2 tsp salt1/2 tsp lemon juice parsley sprigs, optional for garnish.

In heavy skillet melt butter. Add shallots cook for 4 minutes, stirring constantly. Shallots should not brown. Blend in mushrooms. Cook until all moisture evaporates, about 10-15 minutes. Sprinkle flour over mixture. Mix well. Stirring constantly, add cream and bring to a boil. When mixture thickens, reduce heat and simmer for a minute or 2. Remove from heat. Stir in remaining ingredients; cool.”

15. Moroccan food

“Shakshouka. Moroccan dish. It’s basically eggs poached in tomato sauce with veggies. Easy to make, delicious and flexible.

Add a generous amount of olive oil in a pan. Add thinly sliced onions. Saute. When they’re half-done, add thinly sliced red, yellow and green peppers (bell or horn, either works). Saute a bit more. Add diced garlic and pepper. This is the point where I add a splash of cold water to prevent burning and lower the heat to minimum.

Take a can of tomatoes and pour them in a bowl. Crush them with your hand and remove the harder parts (where the stem was attached). Add a pinch of salt and sugar (you need sugar to balance out the acidity of tomatoes).

When the water evaporates, pour in the tomatoes. Simmer for a minute or two, then mix in any herbs and spices you want – oregano, thyme and basil all work. Simmer for 10-20 minutes and enjoy the aromas. At this point, you can stop cooking and have an AMAZING pasta sauce. However, that is not shakshouka. You can also take a break at this point – say, if you’re prepping it for tomorrow, you can put it in the fridge until then.

In any case, when you want to eat, bring it to what’s effectively a boil, then reduce the heat. Use a tablespoon to make small holes in the sauce, then break in eggs. Salt to taste and a twist of black pepper. Garnish with chives, parsley and/or chili flakes. Serve with bread on the side.

If you want it hot, you can infuse the oil or just add chili peppers with regular peppers. You can also use whatever other veggies you have – for example, zucchini add thickness and volume, so you’ll want to use more water. :)”

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