Category: askreddit

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15 People Who Met Celebrities and Had NO Idea Who They Were

This is a classic, classic move and if you’ve pulled it off before, I salute you.

Here’s a fun game: if you ever meet a celebrity or are in their presence, act like you have absolutely no idea who they are. It’s really fun!

That’s what these AskReddit users did. Bravo!

1. That’s nice

“This happened yesterday! My wife took my son to the zoo, and he wanted to read every little plaque in the reptile area. My wife was distracted for a moment, so he asked the nearest stranger to read the plaque for him. My wife turned around to see Scarlett Johansson happily reading the info to him.”

2. On with your day

“My dad met Robin Williams in an elevator. He got in and they rode a few floors in silence. They stopped on a floor and s bunch of fans ran in and started getting pics with Robin. My dad said he was gracious and took pics with everyone.

The doors closed and they rode a few more floors and my dad turned and said “does that ever get old?” and Robin smiled and said “Nope. Never.” Then my dad got off on his floor and they nodded to one another and my dad went on with his day.”

3. Hahaha

“My mom is a big sports fan. One time she was shopping at and saw a really large, fit looking man who she didn’t immediately recognize but seemed familiar.

She thought it must of been a professional football player or something, so she went up to the only other person in the shop, who was this smaller wierd-looking guy, and asked him if he knew who the athletic looking man was. The short guy looked at my mom and said “That’s my bodyguard, I’m Elton John.”

4. Shaq Attaq

“I (almost literally) ran into Shaq at a small restaurant in LA. He was standing in the doorway. You know how some people are so tall you don’t “see” them? So I’m exiting the doorway, and say “excuse me man” and he stepped aside so I could leave. He is one large human being.”

5. No cuts

“My mom yelled at Pierce Brosnan. She and my dad were at a ski resort getting lunch. My mother gets quite hangry (an unfortunate trait I inherited) and was waiting in line to order. Right as she’s about to order a guy tried to cut in front of her and interrupt her.

She snapped and told him to go to the back of the line like everyone else. She got her food and went back to my dad sitting there mouth wide open in shock.

“Do you know who that was?”

“No?!”

“That was Pierce Brosnan. You just yelled at James bond”

“Well he shouldn’t have tried to cut me”

6. That’s who that was…

“I was 10 years old in 2002 when my mom took me to the Bronx Zoo for the first time. It was a rainy day so we practically had the whole place to ourselves except for 3 British kids running around, chaperoned by a woman. My mom quickly befriended the woman while I made like a kid and joined the hoard, looking at spiders and scorpians and sharing in the awe and excitement of the animals.

After about an hour when we said our goodbyes, my mother told me that the kid, Daniel, who I had been hanging out with had played Harry Potter in the movie that came out last year.

I had thought he looked familiar.”

7. You don’t know Jack

“My cousin rode a ski lift with Jack Black in Vail. Just the two of them. Her husband and I were in the lift behind them, freaking out. When we got off the lift they’d gone their separate ways. We made our way to her she was like “wow, that guy on my lift was so nice.” We were like NO SHIT THAT WAS JACK BLACK. She was like “THE SCHOOL OF ROCK GUY?!?!”

She was so embarrassed. She said she rambled on about living in Iowa for most of their conversation. We laughed our asses off.”

8. I know you…

“I worked at a movie theater in Albuquerque at the time they we’re filming the first avengers film. Captain America was about to come out, I remember because we had the huge standee of him in the lobby. I was reading in the box office when three people came up. Guy asked for 3 tickets to Bridesmaids.

It was dark out and he had a green baseball cap and sunglasses. He paid with a credit card. Christopher Evans. I stared at the card after I swiped it. Handed it back. “I need you to sign the receipt” he did. And then he walked in.”

9. Oh, Mom

“My friend’s mom (over 70yrs old) owns a small asian grocery store. Post Malone came walking in with his girlfriend and his mom had no idea who he was. A few cute things happened:

She was nervous because of his tattoos, but happy/not worried once he bought a lot of food. She had no idea he was a celebrity.

She gave him a free snack for buying so much food and told him to come back for lunchtime for cheap and tasty gyoza (he did come back the next day!)

She was worried he would get mugged going to his car because of 3 big men outside so she followed him outside (they were his bodyguards)

She really liked his “cool car” (it was a lamborghini)

She told my friend about the encounter that evening and he pulled up a youtube video based on the description – it was him. When Post Malone came back the next day for Gyoza she got a selfie with him (it’s on my friends phone so I don’t have the picture available right now). Whole thing is adorable with how innocent his mom is.”

10. Curb your enthusiasm

“I was a student athlete in college and was required to “volunteer” a certain number of hours per year. One of the options was to help freshmen move in, which I obviously chose so I could scope out the new talent.

I just finished helping move a kid’s stuff and head back to the loading area, and a black SUV pulls up. Out hops Larry David, his ex-wife, and their daughter who was starting school. I immediately recognized him but played it cool, he wasn’t getting a ton of recognition since I’m guessing not many college students are fans of Curb/Seinfeld.

I introduced myself to them all and he introduced himself and said “Hi, I’m Larry,” and mentioned they were from LA. I replied and said “I used to live in LA, and you look really familiar. Did we meet?” To which he replied “No, I’m just one of those faces,” and gave me a huge wink.

He was cracking jokes the entire move and introducing himself to everyone just as Larry. Just as funny in person as he is on TV. After finishing the move he was nice enough to take a pic with me. Great guy, and the only major celebrity I’ve ever met.”

11. Nice tip

“I used to be a server at a Mexican restaurant right outside LA in the late 90s. One day Leonardo DiCaprio came in with who I assume was his mom to have lunch. This would’ve been post Titanic so really at the peak of his breakthrough mega celeb status.

He was wearing a ball cap, sunglasses and unshaven but I recognized him anyway. I didn’t let anyone know and I wrote something like “your movies are awesome, I hope you liked our food” on his receipt when I dropped it off at the table.

After he left, I swung by and picked up his payment and he had left me a note back that said “thank you so much for not blowing my cover” with a $100 tip. Shit was awesome I was only like 19, I went and got some Playstation games with it after my shift ended.”

12. Chris Rock

“In the Mid 90’s I was a cab driver. Our service was like a cross between a limo and a taxi, and we serviced some fancy resorts. As I dropped off my passenger at a resort, another guy asks if I’m a taxi, and I say yes, so he tells his friend their cab is here.

His friend got in the car and said “this ain’t no cab, smells too good to be a cab” in that unmistakable Chris Rock voice.

He and his friend just bullshitted with each other for the ~15 minute drive to a local night club. There was a white kid trying to talk to a yellow-cab driver ahead of us in the parking lot and Chris Rock started imitating the kid, like “I need a ride, yeah, I’m drunk, but I need a ride”, and I was trying really hard not to laugh out loud.

He wasn’t nearly as famous yet at the time, but I had seen his stand up routines on Comedy Central and knew exactly who he was, but didn’t go fan-boy on him.

10/10 would drive Chris Rock again.”

13. What should I say?

“I was at IKEA in Vancouver and noticed this lady in a low hanging hat had dropped something. I helped her pick it up and noticed it was Sarah McLachlan. Didn’t let on that I knew who she was because I couldn’t think of anything to say.”

14. JT

“I met Justin Timberlake and had no idea it was him until someone told me afterwards. Went to a basketball game with my dad and we stopped by the bar area in the arena first. The game had just started so it was pretty empty except for the bar itself.

My dad goes to the restroom and I walk up to the bar to order a beer. There’s only one seat at the bar next to a guy in a baseball cap and sunglasses. I politely ask if the seat is taken and he just says “nope, it’s all you, man.” We shoot the shit for a couple minutes.

He’s sitting on my right and eventually he says he and his wife are going to go to their seats. He extends his hand and asks my name. I tell him and ask his name. He says, “Justin. Nice to meet you dude, have a good night.”

He and his wife leave and the bartender comes up to me and says, “You know that was Justin Timberlake, right?”

I immediately did a double take and couldn’t believe I didn’t recognize him even with the hat and sunglasses. I told my girlfriend at the time who was a huge Justin Timberlake fan and she couldn’t believe I met him without knowing it was him. She wouldn’t let it go for like a month.

EDIT: To answer some questions, this was a Memphis Grizzlies game and no the bartender wasn’t messing with me because during one of the timeouts, they showed him on camera and had him come on to the court to wave at fans and hype the crowd up etc. I don’t think he expected them to do that and didn’t like it because he left at halftime. Probably just wanted to go to a game without being hounded by fans or something.

EDIT 2: I never got a good look at Jessica Biel. She was wearing sunglasses as well but she didn’t say anything at all during our conversation and since I didn’t even realize I was talking to Justin Timberlake, I wasn’t about to gawk at this random beautiful woman while talking to her husband. ?

EDIT 3: I’m aware JT is a part owner of the Grizzlies. I’m not sure if I’m right about why he left at halftime in my first edit above. That’s just a complete guess given that 1) he left, 2) I’m assuming he didn’t want to be recognized with the hat and sunglasses and 3) he obviously goes to plenty of Grizzlies games and usually he isn’t trying to hide his face, assuming that’s what he was trying to do this time around. But who knows. He could’ve left the game early for any number of reasons.”

15. We’re from California

“I helped Steven Spielberg move his daughter’s bags into her college dorm.

I was working a shift helping first-years move in and I see a guy in a hat and sunglasses who is unmistakably Spielberg. I strike up a conversation, ask if he needs help with the bags, etc. First names only — “We’re from CA. My wife, Kate, and I sent all our kids to East Coast schools though.” Stuff like that.

Later, when his daughter opened the door for the first time, he whipped out a camcorder and, wearing the biggest Dad grin, recorded the whole thing before turning the camera on my friend and me to ask us about the city.

So, I have a supporting (the luggage), speaking role in a limited release (home movie) film shot by Steven Spielberg.”

The post 15 People Who Met Celebrities and Had NO Idea Who They Were appeared first on UberFacts.

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Ditch Those Doritos – These 15 Snacks Are as Healthy as They Are Yummy

What’s something you can eat a whole bunch of in one sitting and not have to worry about being unhealthy? The answers are surprisingly delightful (my go-to is nuts), so go ahead and indulge!

#1. Also still an orange.

Cutie oranges. They’re like 90 calories a piece and also still orange.

#2. Crunchy and refreshing.

I’d go for sliced red and orange peppers. Crunchy, refreshing, and hey a Tony bit of ranch to go with it can’t be too terrible. Tiny though, that shit is like 80 calories a tbsp.

#3. PB2.

I love peanut butter but I can’t justify 190 calories for 2tbsp. Go get some PB2. It’s only 50 calories for 2tbsp. Smear that stuff on apples, celery, bananas, bread, and everything else you own because it is miraculous.

#4. Half-sour pickles are game changing

I used to go for a family size bag of salt n vinegar. Shred it without realizing until last bits….

Switched out for jars or pickles. Worked like a charm. It solved that crispy sour tangy craving and zapped calories. I’m down at least 40 lbs since I swapped to pickles a few years back

Edit: thank you everyone, I was not expecting my most upvoted content to be regarding my love for pickles. First, blood pressure topic: yes I have high blood pressure. Long time. I’ve been taking medication for many many years for it. My blood pressure is actually been better in the past few years since the switch, but I do you know and understand the consequences of salt. I hardly ever use salt with anything else really. My massive weight actually came as a result of medications over a decade ago. Had been constantly battling to lose the weight, and in recent years actually kind of gave up. And that’s when the weight started coming off. I drink a minimum of a gallon of water a day but usually twice that. Most of my diet it’s liquid because I’m extremely thirsty person(yes I know that a warning for diabetes, doc keeps looking but I’m safe). Oddly enough, the weight started to finally come off when I got on a regular regimen of medical marijuana. I think it rebooted my metabolism.

As for the pickle enthusiasts and pickle lovers… My grocery store favorite is zesty Dill. Every year my mother makes usually a solid 20 dozen jars of pickles and I claim about half of them. A lot of the ones I claim, I add pepper flakes and some garlic. I usually eat one jar in one sitting, and try to set my my max at two jars a week for staying sodium conscious. I try to only get potato chips, as re su of these choices, when it’s a special occasion with guests.

Thanks everyone. I know Rick would be proud.

Extra edit: Thank you kind stranger so much for my first silver, which is my first of any badge here. I truly appreciate it.

#5. Your poops will be great.

Grapes. Find the best grapes you can and go to town. Your poops will be great afterward.

#6. Underrated vegetable.

Snap peas. We’ve been getting them fresh from a farm stand, then cooking them for just a couple minutes in a pot with a splash of water and some garlic salt. They’re like CRACK. We fight over them and can’t seem to get enough. Toddler included. 10/10 underrated vegetable.

#7. It gets me through.

Whenever I’m craving chocolate I find that a handful of peanuts and dried fruit gives me the short-term energy boost my body needs to get me to the store to buy chocolate.

#8. It’s so easy.

Roasted Chickpeas/Garbonzo Beans.

It’s so easy. I never thought it would be, but I tried it last week and it’s literally just:

Preheat oven to 375F (190C)

Drain can (or 2) of chickpeas. Pour out onto a pan. Pat dry with towel, or don’t. It doesn’t matter too much.

Throw them in the oven for 30 minutes. (You’ll want to take them out every 10 minutes or so to move them around a bit.)

Remove from oven and pour into bowl. Toss with a spoon of vegetable oil, salt, thyme, and a good spoonful of chili powder.

Pop it back into the oven another 10-15 minutes. (I’m definitely going the full 15 minutes the next time I make these because holy hell they taste so good when they’re just perfectly crispy)

It’s like popcorn, but nuts, but they’re chickpeas, but they’re spiced up, but they’re magic.

Edit: it has been pointed out that while these ARE a healthier alternative, they are still calorie dense. I think they’re relatively filling though.

#9. It’s also delicious.

Plain popcorn

A cup of air-popped popcorn only has 31 calories, and high in fiber. Studies have found that popcorn will fill you up more than other popular snacks such as potato chips. It is also high volume, having pretty much the same nutritional value as a popcorn kernel.

It’s also delicious.

Edit: Obviously you can throw some salt or spices on there, I was just pointing out how healthy popcorn is at its core.

#10. Little slushie bites.

Frozen grapes. They’re like little slushie bites.

Edit: Thank you for the gold, stranger!

Edit 2: And the silver, friend!

#11. Smarta**.

A bowl of rice is great if you want to eat 1000 of something.

#12. Salty and sweet.

Add tajin to fruits to get your salty fix.

#13. Watermelon is great.

Probably celery or cucumber. You might be able to get away with watermelon as well, I once went through 3 1/2 watermelons a week. Watermelon is great

edit:

I’m going to buy a watermelon now.

#14. Surprisingly low calorie.

Pineapple is surprisingly low calorie for sweetness.

#15. Seaweed packs.

I tend to eat roasted dry seaweed packs. Only like 25 calories a pack and not that much sodium if you get good ones.

EDIT: Since this blew up, many people have been asking about specific brands. The one I get is a Korean brand called gimMe organic. I personally like the sea salt. 25 calories a pack and only 65mg of sodium. Just be careful with consuming large amounts due to iodine.

I’m stocking up the next time I hit a price club!

The post Ditch Those Doritos – These 15 Snacks Are as Healthy as They Are Yummy appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Reveal the Moment That Ended Their Last Relationships

Fact: relationships are fluid. They’re constantly evolving, sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. And sometimes it just needs to end but one spark is needed to send a relationship over the edge to its death.

In this AskReddit article, people opened up about the tipping points in their last relationship. Hang on tight!

1. That’s a GOOD tipping point

“When she drove 4 hours to meet me at the hospital where my mom was dying. We had not been together for long but she comforted me in such a way that i could never forget. I knew I loved her and I married her 1 year later.”

2. That’s awful

“He and I had this moment, lying on the bed, listening to some music, in my room, while the sun was setting, the city buzzing away below us, after a long day and I felt this wholesome feeling, like I knew where I belonged. And right then and there, he looks at me and said: “if you ever leave me, I’m gonna make your life a fucking hell.”

Guess I belonged far far away from him.”

3. Can’t stop, won’t stop

“She wouldn’t stop sleeping with her ex boyfriend and then decided to marry him. She told me this via text.”

4. I can breathe again

“Month after month after month, excuses why he couldn’t pay rent. And yet he would spend all his income on eating out, online gaming memberships, etc. Would also try to guilt trip me into getting him stuff constantly. 1 day we went to visit relatives in another state during the week before xmas and my uncle snapped.

He told him off about how he’s manipulative and can see that what he does has dragged me down as a serious burden. I didn’t attempt to intervene, he was absolutely right. And after we left, ex bitched me out for not stepping up for him. We broke up the day after and suddenly I felt like I could breathe again.”

5. Karma

“He was going out during the night to see two other girls. TWO. And when I saw him during the morning he would be tired as hell (because obviously he was out) and tell me he had sleeping issues. I found out he was cheating on me with the two girls when they both saw me hugging him and went to scream at me. For the karma part, the three of us agreed to leave him and not talk to him again, and I’m still a friend with one of them.”

6. Makes me feel sick

“She would threaten me with physical violence and self harm for years if I ever left her, I was made to choose between my friends or her, certain threats made if I’d choose friends over her etc. having to be in contact with her at all times if I wasn’t with her, going through my phone and years of messages with my closest friends whilst I’m asleep etc, deciding who I could follow on Instagram, be friends with on Facebook based off how attractive they were or if she deemed them as a ‘threat’ etc. even if they were long term friends – Makes me feel sick thinking about it all again.

Crazy shit. I was younger and didn’t realise how abusive she really was – lost a lot of friends because of her.

She eventually did another one of her ‘fake’ break ups and I decided not to crawl back to the person that would always tell me that no one else would ever love me etc. said “Okay, I’ll pick up my stuff tomorrow” or something along those lines and then she obviously freaked out realising I wasn’t falling for her tricks and playing into her usual games. Haven’t seen or heard from her in four years now.”

7. Ugggghhhhh

“I was leaving the gym and told her I would be over to her apartment in about 45 minutes after I showered. I kid you not, at the 45 minute mark she was texting me upset that I wasn’t there yet. I apologized and told her I had to go to the bathroom so its taking a little longer but I was on my way and almost there. Showed up at about the 50 minute mark, she would not open the door beyond leaving the security latch attached, and only to tell me to fuck off.

So, after about 5 minutes of trying to reason with her to let me in and her responding that she didn’t want to hang out anymore because I took too long because I was probably talking to “some hoe at the gym”, i decided to leave. When I got back to my apartment I figured might as well entertain myself and play some video games. About 40 minutes later she shows up to my place banging on the door. I happily open the door thinking she changed her mind!

She sees that I was clearly playing video games and enjoying a glass of wine, walks over and picks up the wine and throws it on the ground pissed off that I found something to do other than stare at the wall because she didn’t want to hang out with me. She sees how in shock I am at her reaction and tries to brush up the broken wine glass with her bare hands. She is bleeding and crying and im in shock and pleading with her to stop because she is tearing her hands up. I suggest she leaves and that was the last time we were in the same room together. What a whirlwind of a relationship that on was!”

8. Not treating her right

“He kept treating his dance partner better than me (would take her out for drinks to try she hadn’t before, took her shopping with him, post photos of her online, etc) but wouldn’t hold my hand in public, nothing about me on social media whatsoever (totes fine but if you go on and on about how great your dance partner is and making it seem like your girlfriend doesn’t exist, it doesn’t feel great), etc.

I have no issue with female friends or dance partners, but don’t pay for dinner and drinks with them and then have your girlfriend pays for every single date night (I dropped $70 for a movie night, $40 of which were his drinks).

Dude still hits me up whining about how we could’ve worked out, how he misses my cat, etc. I dumped him over a year ago.”

9. Not gonna get better

“Things had been going downhill for a long time, and we ended up in marriage counseling, which was actually what did us in. Sitting in a room with her refusing to listen to me and her own counselor about things going on in our relationship really clued me in to fact that things weren’t going to get better.”

10. Paint colors?

“We moved into a house together and things were a little on the rocks, but I figured I could work a little harder and she would too. I had my doubts as she was a control freak and really only took what I said about things at face value (really saw that later on after we split). We had a huge fight about the living room paint color.

She said it was just awful and couldn’t put up with it. We went round and round about it for a week or so until I finally just decided I could concede on this one, but that I got to choose the bedroom color. She described it as a cream color, but like adding too much creamer to coffee. “Disgusted” was her word for it I want to say. Anywho, I’m standing in the paint aisle on my day off and utterly exhausted from a week of work and remodeling. I’m dead ass tired and she’s combing through the paint swatches.

She finds the color and we get it mixed. We end up in an argument in the car as I’m opting for bed and she wants to paint. I told her it is better to do it during the day so we can open the windows and let it air out better. It was currently raining and I didn’t want water marks. It escalated and grew until she finally just got so pissed that she left. I decided to be nice and start painting the opposing window wall to at least show her I heard her thoughts. I got it all mixed up and dipped the roller.

Rolled over once and it all hit me at the exact same time: I was sick of her and her controlling attitude. I was done feeling like an ass for things I didn’t do wrong. I was tired of living her dream life. You know why it hit me? That paint was the exact same damn color as the wall.”

11. That’s a dealbreaker

“When my now ex-wife was arrested for having a sexual relationship with one of her female students…”

12. Didn’t learn a lesson

“She just kept getting drunk and going crazy. I had to call the police on her because she took a bunch of pills when I left during one of her binges. She would call me at night often, drunk as hell and yell at me, and then threaten to cut herself when I refused to come over at 1 in the morning. She still drinks to this day.”

13. Addiction

“His crack addiction reared its ugly head – after he was clean for more than a year.”

14. Lies

“She started telling me how she had to defend me to my friends after I had to miss watching a show with them to go into work. My friends told me that wasn’t true and she spent the entire time shit talking me.”

15. Refusing to get help

“I got tired of carrying her to bed after her nightly binge drinking. Also, her complete denial of being an alcoholic and refusing to get help.”

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10+ People Reveal the Reason Their “Crazy Ex” was So Crazy

Exes are exes for a reason. Often, it’s a matter of just drifting apart. You might build an amicable relationship, or you might never speak again. Some exes, though, are unique. They have been a little unhinged while you were together, or your break-up may have brought out their… special side. These 15 redditors reveal the stories behind what made their exes crazy.

1. 500 phone calls is 499 too many

This will get buried but that’s okay. I dated a girl my freshman year at university for 3 weeks. That’s right, not a full month. I noticed that I needed to bail when she asked to celebrate our 2 week anniversary. Like really celebrate. So after an awkward week I managed to break up with her, only to truly unlock the depth of her pool of crazy. She called my phone 500+ times, and left literal hundreds of crazy screaming/crying voicemails, all in one day. When I didn’t respond that day, she took to the Internet. She found my mothers contact information via LinkedIn (as my mother doesn’t use social media, unless it’s for her job) and called her countless times and even sent her emails. When all of this failed, she sent her meathead brother and his posse of upside-down triangle-shaped men to my house in broad daylight to stir shit up. Which neither my parents nor the neighbor, a fairly young former marine and his new wife, appreciated. After much police involvement, and a few drawn firearms, the crazy bitch gave up (sort of). I still get a call about every 2 months and letters in the mail asking to meet up and “work things out”. Thanks for letting me get that one off my chest.

2. Don’t date people in art school

When I was in art school, I became involved with a girl who was one of the most gifted painter/printmakers I’d ever seen. Everyone knew she was going places. Teachers unabashedly praised her in critiques. She was several years older than me, but I was so smitten it didn’t matter. On our first date, we smoked weed, then salvia, then drank whiskey til we blacked out.

Unfortunately, it hardly stopped there. I quickly realized she had a drinking problem. Every day, she began drinking in the early afternoon. By nightfall, she was belligerent, and often violent. Every night was a new horror…dragging her out of bars, breaking up a fight she’d started with a homeless person, finding her passed out on my porch in the early morning hours. Once, she even jumped out of my (moving) car after an argument.

I couldn’t handle it. I cared about her, but I couldn’t spend my life as a babysitter. Not now, but especially not at 21. I broke up with her sweetly one weekend. She was upset about it, but said she understood and hoped we’d still be friends. I agreed we could.

Monday rolled around, and I walked into my first class. “…You didn’t see the artwork on the wall, did you?” The first person to greet me asked. No, I said. “You need to go look,” said the friend. I sauntered back to the doorway, and looked around. Hung on the wall opposite my classroom was a life-sized woodcut print of me, drowning. I was gasping for breath, fingers clutching nothing but water. More dead than alive. I have a deep fear of the ocean. I haven’t been in a large body of water since I was 10.

For a month, I was faced with the aspect of my own gruesome death.

Everyone agreed it was beautifully done.

And that’s why you don’t date people in art school, kids.

3. Never threaten the dog

I suspect she was crazy long before I knew her, but I realized she was a fucking sociopath when she asked me to euthanize my dog because “he was taking up too much of ‘our’ time”.

4. Stuck in high school

My husband’s crazy ex (just girlfriend from high school) was crazy because she set up a appointment for portrait session to have pictures done of our 3 children for her house. No, we did not let that fruitcake take our children. They broke up their senior year of high school, and this is when we were in our 30s. Shocked at contact from her, nevermind the appt, we found out she also had her phone number listed (phone books then) as Mrs. Our Surname all those years, which was never her name. She was stuck in her high school fantasy, which was frightening.

5. Not the stained glass window!

She forcefully moved in with me, then a few weeks later managed to drink a bottle of Jager while I was at work, then proceeded to throw the case of bottles I brought home after work onto the floor, before throwing my bong off the front porch and storming off into the darkness.

My co-workers who came over to enjoy said beers were a little taken aback, but I managed to salvage a few beers from the mess on the floor and we sat on the couch to figure out what the hell to do with the beast when she returned. Didn’t take too long before all hell broke loose. You see, my door was janky. She thought we had locked her out and proceeded to punch her fist through a $1,000+ stained glass window before peering through the bloodied glass and screaming, “You think you can fuckin lock me out, huh?! HUH?! YOU CAN’T. I’LL BREAK MORE WINDOWS. I’LL DO IT, I SWEAR I WILL. LET ME IN!”

I calmly walked over to the door and cautiously opened it and immediately got punched in the face. Called her Dad and told him to come pick up his daughter before I called the cops. He told me to call the cops.

edit: she had like a 5 year run on The Dirty afterwards, and now she thinks she’s an IG model posting only 3 types of photos; her duck face, her 3 or 4 yr old son, and her partying in Vegas. I only know this from the updates my friends provide, bitch was cray so there’s no way I’d be lurking on that.

6. One date

Painted my name all over his bedroom, bathroom and lounge room. Proposed and then Photoshopped us into wedding pictures, sent invites all his family, mine and my friends, got an ultrasound photo online and tried to announce to Facebook we were expecting a baby, shaved our initials into his cat and left hundreds of love letters taped to my car So that was crazy… We went on half a double date with friends, I was just being a good sport, noped out when he proposed when my food came. The rest came over the next week.

Edit to clarify as I feel I wasn’t clear: this was all after the one and ONLY date. This wasn’t a ‘we dated for months and then his crazy came out’ this was ‘we met an hour ago why are you proposing to me’

7. Just creepy

Walked miles in the snow to my house, tapped on my bedroom window for an hour until I acknowledged him. I turned him away. In the morning I heard rustling in my closet upon waking up. The little fucker snuck into my house somehow and was hiding in my closet. I threatened to call the cops so he left. Weeks later, he emailed me pictures of me sleeping from that night. I still have nightmares about finding him in a closet.

8. This is really terrible

After I broke up with her, she used makeup to feign bruising on her arms, neck, and face. She then proceeded to send pictures of it to all of our mutual friends “warning them” about me.

9. It begun with a cat

Cat disappeared. strange, was a friendly cat.

upstairs neighbor with big dogs came down screaming that my ex had somehow convinced both dogs to jump out the window to their deaths.

she attacked me with scissors and a knife, different days.

blew some guy in his car outside of our apartment

finally, turned on her hairdryer and threw it in the shower with me.

takes a lot to piss me off.

EDIT: This has gotten more attention that I expected so I should probably elaborate a bit. Two disclaimers, I was young and stupid and she was sexy as fuck. This doesn’t excuse my not bugging out much sooner, but it might give you some insight into my frame of mind.

The above is pretty much all in chronological order.

Regarding the cat, not really that unusual, he was an indoor outdoor cat, so any number of things may have happened to him, a neighbor may have thought he was a stray and taken him in, he may have been hit by a car while he was out on a prowl, I have no idea. It’s more of a “in retrospect, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that crazy bitch killed him” thing.

The dogs; now that’s much stranger. My ex hated those dogs, they were big and noisy, and ran around the upstairs apartment playing all the time. As such she started a bit of a war the with upstairs neighbor who was herself, pretty nuts. I stayed the fuck out of it. My ex had said several times that she was “going to kill those fucking dogs”, but I passed it off as just being annoyed with the constant noise. Hell, I didn’t like it either. But otherwise the apartment was great. So we weren’t really too excited to find a new one. The incident, whatever it was, happened while I was at work. I came home to the crazy neighbor screaming at my crazy ex about how my ex somehow had coaxed the dogs to jump from the window. Now, my ex was very petite, and these were big dogs, so there was no way she could have broken into the neighbors apartment and physically thrown the dogs from the window. I’ve owned a few dogs in my life, and no matter how stupid they are, they were never so dumb as to just fling themselves out a window.

Now, I have no idea what the fuck actually happened, and to this day, (all this happened like 20 years ago) I can’t explain it. At all. BUT, at this point I did start looking at my ex from the corner of my eye, wondering.

Attacking me with scissors and later with a knife. Well, these incidents proved beyond a doubt that she was dangerous. But, both happened in the heat of a moment, during arguments. As I mentioned earlier, she was quite petite, and I was much faster than her, so I had little trouble disarming her without really being in harms way myself. I mean, it wasn’t like she was going to just try to kill me in my sleep in cold blood, right? Yeah…

I forgot to mention, there was another attack, where she tried to mace me in our apartment.

Inside.

windows closed.

I just backed up, and raised one eyebrow, like wtf are you even doing? The mace just settled in a big cloud in the middle of the room, missing me entirely. This REALLY made her mad, she she charged in for another go with her can of mace.

Straight into the cloud she’d just created.

She dropped like a rock. I rolled my eyes. “Okay, come on, let’s get you to the bathroom and wash this out.” The make up sex was great.

But at this point the relationship was pretty much over, it was just a matter of actually, officially ending it. Which, neither of us really seemed to want to do.

All of these things, of course, happened over a few years, and of course in the time between these instances, it was all normal boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, shopping, vacations, laughter, dinners and talking about the future, and of course arguments and fights, some her fault, some mine, most we were both to blame. It wasn’t like it was two or three years of nothing but crazy 100% of the time. Relationships aren’t that simple.

Anyway, near the end we had both sort of stopped caring, that’s when I caught her having sex with a guy in a car outside the apartment. That was the “whelp, this is 100% done” moment. It was failing before but I had hopes we could still work though it or something (like I said, I was young and stupid, and she was hot). But nahhh… done.

So I set my mind and attention to finding a new place. I didn’t even want to bother with fighting over the apartment, it wasn’t THAT nice. I just wanted out. Oddly, we were getting along fine now. We had both accepted it, or so I thought.

One day I come home before her and hop in the shower. The past several days had actually been great. Laughs, sex, cooking. Like a normal couple. She comes home while I’m still in the shower, walks in the bathroom, turns on her hairdryer, and without a word, without emotion, just throws it in the shower with me. Just a dead eyed stare.

I pulled a fucking Matrix slow motion action jump, arms out, water droplets slowly flying out in some sort of hyper reality, as if, well, someone had just thrown a hairdryer in your shower. Probably yelled “WHAT. THE. FUCK?” Then I got dressed and walked the fuck out.

Came to get my things later with an army of friends.

10. I would also not let her in

In one of our many fights she tried to leave in MY vehicle and stormed outside. I had my keys on me so when she walked out i locked the door to get her to have her mom come get her. She turned her wedding ring around and while staring at me through the back sliding glass door, this bitch proceeds to use a diamond to fucking marr her face neck and arm, while saying “youre gonna go to fucking jail! Look at these scratches, you fucking did this to me! Let me in or ill call the police!”

Now i dont know about you, but if a woman is in a certain state of mind that she will use the hardest natural substance known to scratch her own body up, im not letting her in.

So she called the cops and i had to explain to them that i did not in fact attack her and if they would care to notice that out of all her scratches she had none on her left arm.(for the uninformed, here in merica we wear our wedding rings on that hand) then they had an “ah ha” moment so big i thought i was in the fucking take on me video. They finally saw the fuckery at play and hauled her off. Any way that was our second time being married…. thats my crazy ex story.

11. How did she get into the apartment?

In college I had a girl I use to hook up with for like a year. She comes over and invites her friends one night. I walk out to our patio area and literally talk to one of her female friends for maybe 15 seconds. 2 hours later we are leaving my apt and we are the last two to leave. She stops me pours her entire vodka drink on my head in punishment for trying to hook up with her friend. So I told her to get the fuck out and that our situation was over.

My roommates and I go out to ze barz for a couple of hours and come back to find our apt a mess…but only the common area and my room. She poured vodka all over my bed and My room was also covered in dog food. I guess she was trying to send a message. I called this chick and politely told her she’s out of her mind and if I see her again near my apt I’m calling the cops.

Having said that, hands down the best chick I’ve ever hooked up with. But as Mr. George Bluth says you never marry crazy. Or something to that effect.

12. Duck!

She woke me up because I had the night sweats and she was convinced I had Aids. For some reason I decided to appease her and got a full STD screen including an expensive Aids test. A few weeks later I drove to her house to give her my signed note (I had to specifically request) stating my clean bill of health. She accused me of forging the entire thing and in the following argument pulled the plates out of the cupboard and Frisbeed them at me. I left immediately. About 6 months later (I had just started dating my now fiancé) she contacted me to tell me she believed me and wanted to know if she and her two dogs could move in with me. I never responded.

13. A story from the crazy ex

Hey Reddit! Been getting more and more into this site and I really like it! Anyway, I figured I would post mine since I was actually the crazy ex (or I became it)

My first girlfriend (and romantic relationship) happened when I was in my late 20’s. Finally, it seemed, after years of dates, no replies, and rejection it seemed like the trend was finally broken!

She was a work colleague of mine and, despite my friends and family members warning to NOT DATE SOMEONE AT WORK I did not abide since I was so taken and surprised someone would be interested in me, I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I have met in body and mind. She was dorky, energetic, and seemed to be very mature especially considering my absolutely awful performances in the bedroom mainly regarding duration during intercourse – which did get better with time and experience.

We dated for a year and I finally felt such strong feelings for her. I remember waking up next to her and just smiling so much feeling like I found someone who could inspire me and I could look up to and rely on. However, after a year a new guy started working in our company. He was a bicyclist, cross-fit, and pretty attractive guy (even by my notice). A bit after he joined I noticed she became more and more distant. We then got into a fight over her not wanting to go spend a weekend at my aunt’s island and then she hit me with the “can we talk” text soon after. Her delivery was quick and efficient. She said all the nice things: “I am not ready for a long term relationship”, “You are amazing”, “I need to focus on me and my career now”, etc.

I was so sad I was actually surprised. I thought we made up over the trip issue, but then BAM this happened. I didn’t know what to do, I sat at my computer dumbfounded looking at Cheezeburger cat pics trying to make sense of it. My mind was numb. At first, I thought she was genuine and we could just be friends – NOPE!

Within a week of dumping me, she was at lunch with the other guy, he was going over to her desk, and after a month they were leaving the office together.

I cannot describe how much that hurts. I tried to get transferred, I tried to find another job, I tried to work from another location to no avail. And for 8 months straight I watch them together. In the halls, in the cafeteria, in the company gym. The all time worst part was that she would look at me like I was some kind of monster. She saw me with such un-ending fear and disgust in her eyes it drove me a bit crazy.

And crazy I did become. I started experimenting with steroids, weight gainer powder, heavy workouts & power lifting, boxing, and self harm (punching, belt whipping, and low level cutting). Eventually the roids, supplements, and lifting bore fruit and I went from 6’6” 195 (88 kg) to 295 lb (133 kg). However, as many know, roids and supplements spike testosterone which can spike anger easily. And when you have someone who is in a crippling depression getting their heart broken every day for days, weeks, and months – they lose it. I lost it.

I freaked out one night – Valentine’s day of all damn days – and drank a liter of Vodka and began yelling/screaming at everything. My best friend and roommate was terrified. Eventually I couldn’t take it. I took some Tylenol to thin the blood and walked into the bathroom with a knife and cut open my left arm. I bled out for a bit and – unbeknownst to me – my roommate did call the cops when he realized I was in the bathroom a bit too long and was silent – even the crying stopped. The EMTs arrived and stabilized me. After that it was a hard few months of rehab at a psych ward and a lot of anti-depressents, anti-psychotics, and sleep aids.

Once I got out and returned to work. She was still there – dumped the guy a bit after word got out I was in the hospital. And she began to see how big and utterly monstrous I became (still worked out even in rehab but sans the roids and supplements). I did not look at her with smiles and happiness anymore, there was only utter hatred and anger in my eyes. I honestly have never really recovered. She tried on multiple occasions to get me fired and poison the office against me. However, finally, I got another job and left the company I had been with for 6 years.

TL;DR – My ex left me for someone else, dated them in front of me. I took roids & got massive and then tried to kill myself. Then became somewhat of an office monster that made everyone a bit uncomfortable – her most of all in the hallways.

Wow…finally talking about that after a few years really feels good.

The post 10+ People Reveal the Reason Their “Crazy Ex” was So Crazy appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Couples Who Went from Married to Divorced Way Too Fast

These situations are always extremely uncomfortable. Not only for the couple actually imploding before your eyes, but for all the bystanders.

And that’s where you come in. These sordid AskReddit tales all detail stories of people witnessing marriages symbolically coming to an end.

Hang on tight!

1. 6 long months

“My friend married this woman after years of dating. They were together about 6 months, then on their first Christmas, he got her a present and she got him nothing. Later that night she left their house and didn’t come back until the next morning.

Apparently she had made an account on some dating site on Christmas, met a guy, and slept with him that night. She came clean the next day, but that was the end of their 6 month marriage.”

2. Oh my…

“Not sure how long it took the divorce to actually happen, but I went to a wedding where the bride didn’t go home with the groom afterwards. There wasn’t any cheating, she just decided she didn’t want to be a military wife. They were together before he enlisted, so I think part of it was that she wasn’t ready to move away from her family. It just sucked that she waited until that day to tell anyone.”

3. Holy sh*t

“Next door neighbor got married. Less than 2 months later she moved out, said he was abusive and a drunk. A couple of weeks later he shot and killed their neighbor through the front door after an escalating feud involving the neighbor’s dog getting shot with a bow and arrow.”

4. No sexting, please

“I went to a wedding where the bride got drunk and the groom picked up her phone and saw that she was sexting a coworker during the entire wedding… He told the officiant to not file the paperwork. Great reception though.

Edit: This occurred at the end of the reception as they were leaving to go to the honeymoon suite (the story is she was very drunk and her phone kept getting notifications so he picked it up). They did not go on their honeymoon and they returned the gifts to everyone. The guests weren’t told about what happened for a couple weeks as the bride was trying to save the relationship. I was also not privy to the legality of the nuptials not being submitted to the city clerk, so I can’t help on that front.”

5. A special day

“My wife’s family’s neighbor’s daughter got married and threw a huge wedding day bash like spent 50-70 grand. Then not even 2 weeks later got divorced. She had been cheating on her husband throughout the engagement but still wanted her ‘special day’. I heard later on that she had asked her mom if she had to live with her husband after they got married.”

6. Sad all around

“A relative of mine was forced into a shotgun wedding. The bride had a miscarriage, so they got divorced a month later.”

7. Meth is bad for you

“The husband had an unsolicited outburst at a family dinner, “I KNOW YOU GUYS KNOW I DO METH! AND YOU NEED TO BACK OFF ABOUT IT!” wife didn’t know; her dad didn’t know; nobody knew.”

8. Time to fly in the lawyers

“Some friends, who had been dating for a few months, got married in Las Vegas as sort of a drunken joke. The girl found out she would lose a lot of her trust fund because of being married. A gaggle of 4 lawyers were flown in and got a very quick retroactive annulment. Marriage lasted 4 days, except legally it was declared to have never existed at all. They dated for 3 more years then broke up.”

9. What did he expect?

“They got married in the October, she left him just after Christmas the same year. She was bored.

I don’t know what he expected really, she’d cheated on him when they were engaged too and he’d forgiven her.”

10. One annulment, coming up

“Years and years ago, my uncle’s girlfriend planned a wedding and invited everyone and didn’t tell him until the week of. I don’t know the whole story about why she did it but he went through with it and quietly got it anulled and broke up with her.”

11. Not a good idea

“I know two couples who got married for the sole purpose of having sex together. Both marriages lasted a year combined.”

12. Her last line is a zinger!

“I was a bridesmaid at a Mormon wedding (despite not being a Mormon myself.) The wedding was rushed because the parents had interstate travel coming up and didn’t wish to leave their respective children (late teens/ early 20s) without supervision while they were away. For fear of lost virginities.

I have some makeup I bought for the wedding that lasted longer than the marriage…”

13. Probably not the best idea?

“I work as a clerk at a Family Courthouse.

Bride f*cked the DJ. At the reception.

New record for the office pool.”

14. Cheater

“A relative of mine had a marriage last less than 3 weeks. They had been together for a couple years and even went to premarital counseling at their church for a few months to get ready. Their wedding was super lavish and it was clear a lot of prep and money went into it. At their wedding they announced they were expecting their first child.

Everything seemed great. Unfortunately the whole thing blew up when the wife discovered he had been cheating on her for almost their entire relationship with multiple women. She found this out while in a foreign country on their honeymoon, 4 months pregnant. I know from her mom that she had complications in her pregnancy that they attribute to the stress of all of this.”

15. Never seen again

“My dad and his second wife made it like not even four months before she left and I never saw or heard from her again. She said she was going to give me an old Nintendo 64, she never did.”

The post 15 Couples Who Went from Married to Divorced Way Too Fast appeared first on UberFacts.

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20+ of the The Shadiest “It’s Not What it Looks Like!” Stories

Every now and then, the good people of Reddit start discussing things that make me feel a lot better about myself.

This was one of those occasions.

#1. Uh huh, sure… STALKER

“About 5 1/2 years ago, I dated a guy for like 2 months. While I was dating him, I was in the process of house-hunting. I’d mentioned that the neighborhood he was living in, particularly, was one I had been hoping to buy in. Our relationship fizzled, and we mutually split. Fast-forward a couple months, and a house was on the market across the street and a couple down from his. I hated the awkward fact it was so close to his, but I loved the house itself, and like I’d said, I really wanted to buy in that neighborhood and had been having crap luck.”

“So I did what is normally recommended to anyone to do when looking at new homes… I visited in the evening to check out noise/activity levels. At no point did I contact the guy because we hadn’t dated that long and I didn’t even know if I’d ultimately end up living there. So I was parked at the house I liked when my ex suddenly walked out of his house taking his roommate’s dog for a walk. I freaked… realized how bad it might look, like maybe I was stalking him or something, and I wasn’t sure if he’d seen me or my car, so I froze as I wondered whether to just do nothing and hope he didn’t see, or try to explain myself.”

“I opted for the latter. I rolled down my window and awkwardly was like, “heyyyyy…….” and explained to him that I was thinking of buying that house. He seemed cool about it, but who knows what was really going through his mind.

I did ultimately buy the house and still live there, and he still lives across the street. Fun times!”

#2. “I put it between the front seats of my dad’s car…”

“This happened in high school, shortly after I started dating my first “boyfriend”. At the time, I would often wear a camisole with a built-in bra layered under a V-neck tee. One day, I was wearing this outfit but wanted to go shopping after school for other shirts, so I brought a regular bra with me to try stuff on.”

“After I got out of the store, I for some reason didn’t want to put the bra in my bag so I put it in the armrest compartment between the front seats of my dad’s car, and of course immediately forgot it was there.”

“The next day, my parents were getting ready to go somewhere. They had left the house, but moments later my mom barged back in, demanding to know why I was “taking off my clothes in the car”. I frantically tried to explain the clothes shopping story, but to this day I’m not sure she bought it.”

#3. “Oh hey, be quiet, he just fell asleep…”

“Sister came home to her boyfriend and our brother laying his head in his lap (her bf was holding his head in his lap and stroking his head and back) she was confused and as soon as she opened her mouth her bf turned around “oh hey, be quiet, he just fell asleep.” Apparently my brother got food poisoning and was throwing up constantly, her bf showed up to return some things she left at his house. So being* him, he helped our brother get some medicine from the store, change, and stroked his head on the couch till he fell asleep (it took a while since he was always getting up to throw up). We all laugh about it now :))”

“Edit: OKAY! To clear up some confusion, me and my sister are both 16, her boyfriend is 17, and my brother is 19 going on 20 here soon! Also! My brother is shorter than her bf (bro: 5’9, sbf: 6’1). This happened like 3 months ago.

Edit2: and my brother and sbf are both Bi, but sbf has only ever dated 1 guy years ago and my brother is like basically gay at this point lmfao, and for all those asking, they consider each other brothers”

#4. I CAN EXPLAIN!

“I work at a school portrait company. I retouch thousands of images and sometimes I need to retouch inappropriate things. Well this high school girl was wearing a see through shirt and I had to retouch out her nipples. I was in the office by myself as a 20 something year old man when a girl walks in and sees me zoomed in on this high school girls see through shirt… I CAN EXPLAIN! I told her I’m not a creep, I’m just retouching her shirt so you can’t see her nipples… It was very awkward but since she worked as a photographer she completely understood once I explained.”

#5. “Those aren’t mine!”

“Mine’s a little different. I was at a corporate function, and noticed that the president of the company was trying to clean his glasses with a paper napkin. Being the well-prepared person I am, I always keep a microfiber cloth in my pocket – I wear glasses, too, and I prefer to actually clean the glasses, not just smudge the oils around. I digress.”

“So I reach into my pocket, grab a cloth, and hand it to him. And he responds with a confused “Huh.”Now, at this time I also have a son who is going through potty training, so I tended to keep spare clothes; usually in my backpack, but also in the pockets of my overcoat.”

“I look over, and the president of my company is kind of staring at the (unused, thank God) pair of Jake and the Neverland Pirates underwear, boys size small, I just handed him. And of course, my immediate response wasn’t to laugh, wasn’t to say “oh, those are my kid’s backup pair” … no, my response was to immediately say “those aren’t mine!” Which was 1) obvious, and 2) not guilty sounding at all.”

#6. “wait… I can explain”

“I was practicing anatomy for drawing of course. So… I had to look up naked models and stuff. No big deal. Just to get the human form down. Nothing too weird. I get done sketching for the day and went to bed. Over the weekend I was animating and my dad walked in my room to ask me something. Well… he goes “what the hell?” And picks up a drawing. I was like “what?” And he sees these drawings… I legit said the line “wait… I can explain” and he walked away laughing.”

#7. Peeping perv

“One of my friends was in a cycling accident commuting home from class one night and wound up in the ER. She needed someone to make sure her dog, Fox, is taken care of and tells me she left her bedroom window unlocked so I should be able to get in the house. Now Fox is semi familiar with me but I still don’t like the idea of crawling in a window and facing a pretty big dog unannounced.”

“So I’ve got the window in the alley cracked and I’m trying to call Fox and let her know that I’m there and coming in. I’m saying stuff like “Hey Foxy girl, Foxy Lady etc etc” meanwhile the upstairs neighbor hears all of this while she is sitting on the toilet and thinks someone is doing some perv peeping tom stuff looking into windows. Luckily it was all cleared up pretty quickly as we were all college kids that saw each other in and out fairly often, but it almost took a bad turn.”

#8. “Sexy” girl cats

“A couple years ago, I started a new job. As a result, I bought a house. My wife and I own a cat and we were tired of the cat box making one of the restrooms smell bad. We ended up putting a cat door in the door that leads to the garage and putting his box out there. This way the cat can piss & shit as he pleases without making the house smell bad. We noticed that when he did his business, he would stare intently right Into the wall. As a joke, my wife and I decided to get some cat pin up pictures on the part of the wall he stares at. So that night, I find a few pics of “sexy” girl cats online. I found Pepe le pew’s GF, Felix the cats gf and a couple others. All of them in compromising poses or with a seductive look on their face (nothing pornographic).”

“The next day at work, I tried sending them to the color printer. I was especially careful as the color printer was in the main office where there was nothing but girls working. I went in to make sure there was no one near it before going back to my office and sending it through with a few other documents I needed. Sure enough, I walk back into the office to grab my “papers” and one of the older ladies in the office is standing there looking at it with an awkward but shocked look on her face.”

“My jaw dropped as I tried explaining it to her. It came out something along the lines of “its for my cat, I swear!” Well, she wasn’t really believing me, and just walked away. I never really had the same friendly relationship with her after that. I guess she just thought I was some weirdo, which I don’t blame her. Oh well, the cat loves his pictures and admires them every time he drops a deuce.”

#9. Always check your pockets…

“I got super high and drunk one night with my best friend and his gf. They stayed at my house. My friend is a loud snorer so his gf ended up sleeping on my couch. My best friend in my guest room upstairs.”

“At 4 am I woke up still pretty drunk and high. For some reason I felt the need to check social media but couldn’t find my phone. Drunk and high Me decided to go downstairs to find my phone.”

“Without realizing his gf was on the couch, I reach down by a pillow to check for my phone. She wakes up, and I’m left there having to explain at 4am why I’m grabbing her face.

I don’t think she believes my story to this day and I look like a rapist. My phone was in my pocket the whole time.”

#10. A straight-laced mistake

“I was volunteering at a pool for my instructor’s certification. The girl I was with was really thirsty and asked if I would mind getting her a Powerade from the vending machine since she couldn’t leave her class. She told me where her wallet was so I could get her change. Another staff member walked in while I was taking the money from her wallet. I was the most straightlaced, nervous kid on Earth, lol. I explained. She either believed me or checked with the lifeguard later, but either way, the first girl got her Powerade and the pool hired me later, so the second girl knows I’m not a thief. ?”

#11. Words are important

“In the beginning months of a relationship, I was staying over at my girlfriend’s apartment. We were in bed, and the only light in the room came from a bright lamp on the end table, on her side of the bed. Now, in addition to being a bit sensitive to bright light, I have a lazy eye that makes it hard to focus on things that are really close. Things like my girlfriend, at that particular moment.”

“So naturally, I asked, “Could you turn off the light? You’re really hard to look at.” I don’t know which of us had the bigger look of horror on our faces.

EDIT: My first silver! And I came soooooo close to not posting, thinking it wasn’t quality enough a comment.”

#12.”It was a dog bite!”

“A female friend of mine who is a Police Officer was on a welfare check and was bit by the property owners dog. She was about a mile from my house when bit and because I am an EMT she decided to call me to see if I could inspect where she was bitten and advise if she needed to go to the hospital. She show up at my house and limps into the kitchen telling me the dog bit her just below her left butt cheek on the rear of her upper thigh.”

“I was worried that the bite had broke the skin and she would need to get it bandaged and possibly get a rabies shot. I told her that I would have to take a look at the bite to help her so, she takes off her duty belt and pulls her pants down to around her knees to expose the bite area. It didn’t look too bad but there were two spots where the dogs teeth had broke the skin. I told her I would bandage it up so she could make the 20 minute drive to the clinic. I was just about to bandage her leg when my wife walks through the door.”

“There I am with one of our female friends, standing in our kitchen, in her police officer uniform, pants down (she was wearing a thong), I was sitting so basically her ass was in my face, and my hands on her upper thigh/butt. We both had the deer in the headlight stare as we realized how bad this must have looked to my wife. We then both shouted out in unison “It was a dog bite!”.”

#13. “…it was a year before I went around for dinner.”

“I had recently started dating this girl. We had been together maybe 3 months, and I had yet to do the “meet the parents” thing. I had been putting it off as her Dad was this fearsome Scottish dude who was known for his temper.”

“Anyhow, at my 19th birthday party (as so many do at this age) things got out of control. It was supposed to be a garden party, but it got changed to a garage party when the weather let me down. It was slinging it down. As my parents didn’t want a mess, everyone was supposed to take off shoes when coming in the house for the toilet. As you can imagine, after everyone breaks the piss seal, few lads can be bothered with all that just for piss. So we are all going through my back gate and using the grass around the corner.”

“This also becomes the outdoor smoking spot, and the combined foot traffic in the rain does not take long to turn this into a quagmire of mud and piss.”

“My girlfriend takes a massive swig of vodka. Mistake. This is not staying down. She dashes outside to vomit. She hurls up everywhere in this mud then promptly falls over in it. She is so hammered she then rolls over onto her front to stand back up. She now looks like the swamp thing, and she is going downhill fast. She is under strict instructions to be home by midnight, and it is now 11pm and she can barely stand. This is a small town with no Taxi company, and the 1 mile walk across town with someone in this state is not happening.”

“As quite a lot of people are staying over, my first gambit was to ring her home and try to get her permission to stay over too. Of course it was her Dad who answered. That request went down like a shit sandwich and was given a very firm “NO!” from the Dad who then just hung up as the conversation was over. Shit.”

“So I have to ring back and sheepishly explain that she is too far gone to move under her own power. He will need to come and get her.

“FINE!” [Hangs up again]”

“It was then I knew I really fucked up. She was still in Swamp Thing mode and her dad would be here in no time. We had to clean her up. We had already gotten her out of her jumper. With her still throwing up in the toilet, I explained I was going to lend her some of my jeans. In my drunken brain this was an awesome plan. We just had to wait for her to stop being sick. This didn’t happen. Panic is rising.”
“This was more than a one person job. I then got her best friend to help her out of her jeans. I did not hear the Dad arrive as the front door was open from other people leaving. He just walked straight in. I guess someone directed him upstairs as he walks into the bathroom, just in time to see myself and Lucy peeling the jeans down over his daughter’s arse as she was still being sick in the toilet. Time stopped.

Had I asked anyone else to help I would probably be dead. It was a year before I went around for dinner.”

#14. She admonished me in front of the class…

“4th grade. All of the kids in my class had figured out that they could get up to sharpen their pencils whenever they wanted – a way to break-up the monotony I suppose. Several students abused this privilege and I didn’t want to be counted among the abusers, as Mrs. Spangler had become vocal about this.”

“During an assignment, my pencil was dull to the point that the wood was scratching on my paper. I decided to use my thumbnail to break the wood away from the tip and expose the graphite so that I didn’t have to sharpen it. As I was doing this, my teacher walked by and exclaimed, “You’re trying to break your pencil!” I didn’t have time to establish a defense before she admonished me in front of the class.

I still think about it sometimes… I’m 37.”

#15. “Are you a lesbian”

“During lunch at my school everyone would be in the lunchroom, it was a small school so pretty much everyone ate at the same time. A friend of mine and I would skip lunch and spend the time just running around the school doing whatever we wanted. One day we were playing like an extreme form of hide and seek all around the school and she ran into the bathroom. I went into the bathroom and stepped up on the toilet seat and peeked over the stall. I had planned on being like “ha! Got you!” But it wasn’t my friend in the stall. The girl assumed I was trying to be a pervert and went and told a teacher. I got the “are you a lesbian” talk from a very conservative teacher at a very country school and the girl went around telling everyone I was a weirdo and that I tried to watch her pee.”

#16. Church lady

“I was really tall in Jr High. One of my best friends at the time was pretty short, and we had a running joke where he would use a little kid voice whenever standing next to me, because I was so much taller.”

“So one day we’re playing tag around my church building (grew up in a conservative house) after most people had already left, and my buddy runs into the bathroom and locks himself in a stall. But I was taller than the wall of the stall, so I pressed up against it and looked down at him and said in my best creepy voice “You can’t hide from me!” and he used his little-kid voice to say “Oh no! Somebody please help!”

“Of course, one of the old church ladies was standing in the doorway behind us, watching the whole thing with horror. Turns out she was there to clean, and caught us at exactly the wrong time.”

#17. “Well, jump out the window…”

“Oh man. Back in my early 20s, Around mid-2000s when Jackass was all the craze i went to a house party. A girl there took a big liking to me and kept coming onto me pretty strong. I was in a relationship and kept turning her down. I went into the parents’ bedroom to take a call when she came into the room and tried to kiss me. I said no and she started to undress, I told my friend on the other end of the phone what was going on and he just said ‘well, jump out the window’”

“20 year old, drunk me thought this was a great idea, Just like CKY/ Jackass! So I opened the window and jumped out onto the grass below, Rolled and walked away unhurt, The next thing I know there is a dull thud and semi-Naked crazy chick was laying on the ground, She had jumped out after me, hit the earth below, slipped and fallen backwards hitting her head on the ground.”

“People inside the party heard the noise and came running out the door of the house to find me standing over a semi-conscious, half naked girl….”

#18. “No! Wait it’s a gun tool thing, I swear!”

“Years ago I was dating this girl, and I had just acquired a black powder gun. Now for those of you who don’t know, one of the parts on many of the black powder guns is called a nipple, and usually require a wrench to get off. Mine didn’t have this wrench so I punched in “Ruger nipple wrench” into Google and went downstairs to grab a drink.

When I come back into her room, she’s looking at my laptop, wide eyed and nervously says “Ummm, I don’t know if I would be into that…” Cue my reaction of “What? No! Wait it’s a gun tool thing I swear!”

#19. “Assault with a deadly wiener…”

“As a broke college kid, one of my go-to meals was a $0.69 chilli dog from 7-11, which was 4 blocks from my dorm. I had no car. One winter’s night, I bundled up in my heavy coat, gloves. and beanie and went to get myself one.”

“So I’m heading back, holding my foil-wrapped dinner, and decide to run (to get out of the cold faster.) Next thing I know, a cop car screeches to a halt in front of me, and I’m ordered to the ground. Spent the next couple minutes explaing to NJ PD why I’m running out of a convenience store, at night, in a “ski mask”, waving a shiny metal object.

TL/DR: Suspected assault with a deadly wiener.”

#20. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER.”

“My friend Anna was in her 20’s but she looked really young, easily as though she could be a minor. She had too much to drink at the bar so I started carrying her home on my shoulders as she was having a really hard time walking. As we got to her house I went to let her down and she fell off and smacked her head on the fence. She was wearing a skirt and as she fell it went up to her waist. I’m trying to get her to come-to so she can go in her house when an old lady walks out on her porch and starts screaming, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT LITTLE GIRL, WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES.”

“I try to calmly explain that this is her house and I’m just a friend trying to get her home but she just keeps shouting, “WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER.” She won’t come to and I realize just how bad the situation looks, so I tell the old lady we can call an ambulance. As I tell my friend we are about to call an ambulance, she immediately comes to and fixes her skirt and stands up. The old lady says, “oh you were right, I guess she had clothes the whole time.”

#21. “That tickles my penis.”

“I babysit for extra income and took a four year old boy I was caring for to the park. I was pushing him on the swing and he pipes up, “That tickles my penis.” I have NO idea why – he’d been swinging for a good 15 minutes before announcing that and I’m not sure if he just shifted his weight in the swing, or that was the only way he knew to describe feeling butterflies in his stomach from the swinging motion, but I was legit worried he might tell his parents something like, “tweri12 tickled my penis on the swing”. I’m a woman – the fear would be magnified ten fold if I were a man.”

#22. “Daddy likes to come into my room naked…”

“When my daughter was around 3 years old, she casually told my wife that “Daddy likes to come into my room naked and play with me.” It took a minute to realize what she was talking about. A few weeks prior to that, she had woken up screaming. Bad dream, I’m guessing. I jump out of bed wearing nothing but boxer briefs to see what the problem was. To get her to stop crying, I tried to make her laugh. Luckily, my wife believed me.”

Yep. I just checked again, and I’m still lookin pretty good next to these fools.

Thanks again, reddit!

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15 Bilinguals Share Their Most Awkward “I Know What You Said” Stories

Anyone who grew up speaking more than one language has likely been in a situation where some unsuspecting stranger around them was speaking one of the languages they know, allowing them to potentially hear a whole lot of stuff that stranger thought was private. It’s even worse when they’re talking about you.

The moments below kind of run the gamut, but they all have one thing in common – they should teach us to be nice. And in the absence of that, to be careful.

#1. Oh, shit.

“I’m an American and English-German bilingual. My high school hosted some exchange students from Austria. My family hosted a student. We were the only German-speaking host family. None of the exchange students except the one living at my house knew I know German. Americans are notoriously bad at foreign language, so the Austrians assumed I was monolingual.

Anyway, I was hanging out with some of the exchange students and other hosts, and one of the Austrian kids told a joke to the other Austrians in German. I laughed. He asked, “Why are you laughing? You’re just laughing because we’re laughing?” My exchange student said, “No, she knows German.”

“Ja, ich verstehe alles,” I confirmed.

“Oh shit, now we can’t trash talk the Americans anymore.””

#2. She looked absolutely humiliated.

I’m fairly tattooed and I was working in retail, in a shoe shop. I was serving a very rude woman and her daughter, both of whom clearly thought they were better than me, and every time they asked for shoes they told me (in English) that I was very slow to fetch them and bad at my job (I was only on like my third shift). The atmosphere turned pretty sour because obviously they were being rude and it annoyed me, and as I was boxing up the shoes they wanted, the mother turned and said to her daughter something like ‘don’t ever get tattoos, this is the kind of person that has them, working in retail with absolutely no brains and tattoos reflect that! bla bla bla’ in Italian. I simply replied ‘non sono d’accordo, ma grazie’ [i disagree, but thank you]. She looked absolutely humiliated and quickly left!”

#3. Those were all true.

“I wasn’t the bilingual one, but my bilingual friend was really the star of the show. I am a straight guy and my bilingual friend is gay. We were in college for summer school 20+ years ago and everyone taking classes stayed in the same old dormitory. It was a school with a lot of international students who had even greater representation in the summer because they typically didn’t fly home for just three months. My friend had a computer, I didn’t, so he told me I could go into his room any time and use it if he didn’t need it at the time.

My friend was white, but had spent a number of his childhood years in Japan and spoke Japanese like a native. We were talking and walking down the hall toward his room and two Japanese exchange students began talking to one another in Japanese, looking at us and snickering. My friend looks over and starts dressing them down in absolute perfect Japanese and they are horrifically embarrassed. They began profusely apologizing and hurriedly waking away. I turned to my buddy, What did they say?”

“They were making some disparaging remarks about your sex life, so I told them they were wrong and not to be rude,” he said. Then he quipped, “They were making some disparaging remarks about my sex life, too, but those were all true.””

#4. Pretty freaking great.

“It’s a reverse of this actually. I didn’t know they spoke my language!

I asked my mom in Vietnamese if I could have the Mexican ice cream near checkout (that shit…is the best thing ever) & was begging her since she thought I had too many sweets. This older white man turns around & says “it’s pretty good ice cream!” in our language. Me & my mom blankly stared at him in awe.

It was the first time I’ve ever heard a white man speak Vietnamese. It wasn’t flawless, but I could understand him! It was actually pretty freaking great. He noticed our faces & was just like “Yeah my wife’s family does the same” ?”

#5. It was lovely.

“I worked as a part time clothing model for a while in an arab country, i am arab but i dont look like it apparently. Anyways, we had to walk around this convention and show the clothes, wearing heels on a carpet floor. I was young(around 16) i didnt know how to walk really well in heels yet and the carpet floors didnt help either, the women there didnt know i spoke arabic and started making fun of how I’m walking, i went up to them and asked them where the bathroom was in arabic they looked so surprised and embarrassed at the same time it was lovely.”

#6. I would pay to have a picture of his face.

“Teacher here. Had a student with serious issues concerning authority. Essentially, he would cuss out nearly anyone who tried to tell him what to do with every name in the book. One day, he thought he’d get creative and starting swearing in Spanish to avoid consequences and called me basically the equivalent of a wrinkly ball sack. Long story short, I would pay to have a picture of his face when I replied, in fluent Spanish, that he was going to call his mother and repeat what he had just said.”

#7. Both their faces dropped.

“I look mixed. I’m full Cambodian but I’ve been confused with being mixed with Black. When I was 7 I went with my mom to her doctor in Long Beach, which is mainly Cambodian populated in that area. My mom went inside her doctor’s office, leaving me in the waiting room. As soon as the office door closed, these two old Cambodian ladies start talking shit in Khmer saying how she’s a single mom (she’s not), and how she had a Black baby(me) and that’s such a shame bc she made my life miserable. They also said my skin color was ugly and I had a Black nose, etc. I just sat quietly, looking at them until one realized “Oh snap, maybe she understands Khmer.” And asks me “Hey, do you know your dad?” And I just replied back in our language, “Yeah and he’s at home waiting for us. And we have the same skin color so that means yours is ugly too.” Both of their faces dropped it was great and they had the audacity to tell my mom that I was rude when she came out.”

#8. A brighter shade of red.

“At a bar with a Russian buddy of mine. Grew up there and moved to the states when he was 12 or so. He adapted to English really well so he has no accent whatsoever. Both of the bartenders were Russian (you could tell by the accents) and were having a conversation. Friend looks to me and says “Damn, they’re talking some mad shit right now”. I asked him about who and he said the other dude across the bar in the blue shirt. I asked what they were saying and he said they were just roasting him in general. I asked if they said anything about us and he said not yet but would say something back in Russian if they did. They ended up not saying anything about us but right before we left, he said to them in Russian “You should speak a bit nicer of your customers”. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someones face turn a brighter shade of red than that.”

#9. The look of horror.

“Late to the party but once when I was younger I went to the park with my sister. We look very white and no one would know both of us to speak Mandarin fluently unless we told them.

Some money must’ve fallen out of my sisters pocket and in Mandarin we hear a mother talking to her daughter and telling her not to let us know we dropped money so that they could pick it up after we left.

Both of us turned around straight away and my sister picked up her money while both of us gave them dirty looks and we changed our conversation to Mandarin. The look of horror on both of their faces will forever be burned into my head.”

#10. His friends had a big laugh.

“I’m a white guy who lived in Senegal for 11 years. As such I learned quite a bit of Wolof, the local language. 99% of white people here don’t because they aren’t there that long. Anyways there were a few times that people were talking about me or to me in Wolof without knowing I understood them. Once there was a group of teens at the beach and one of them greeted me with a Wolof insult for white people (“red ears”), but he said it in a “nice” way, as if I wouldn’t know he was insulting me. He kept talking to me in Wolof and I responded in French that I don’t understand, while in actuality I understood very well. After a minute I had enough and said in Wolof, “Ok I’m going, I’ll see you around, black ears!” His friends had a big laugh and I moved on.”

#11. I never made any indication.

“I used to work as a dealer in a casino where our biggest richest clients were Chinese. I don’t look Chinese but I could understand and speak it. Sitting down on my table, they thought it was safe to discuss techniques to be sneaky behind my back (and also talk about me a little, I’m a young girl so I got some creepy remarks). They never understood how they never got away with things as I never made any indication I understood them.”

#12. I just think ‘why’?

“So I was living in Barcelona dating a Swedish girl about 10 years ago, and I got really into studying Swedish and watching Swedish films and learning vocabulary and stuff. So we went on vacation to Portugal with her roommate over the summer, and we’re on the beach. I’m listening to a conversation that they’re having between themselves, and honestly not understanding much of it. But then, in this moment of pure clarity, I heard my girlfriend say “…Sometimes I look at him and I just think: ‘why??’”. Oh man, I confronted her about it, and I’ve never seen someone turn so red in my life.

Because apparently EVERYONE needs to know this:

She was a really rich girl from Sthlm, trying hard (and failing) to be less boring by coming to live in Barcelona. I was 22 and completely insane; dreadlocks, going out every night and doing speed, drinking, MD, coke; waking up a lot of the time next to other girls.

Half of the time I would look at myself in the mirror and think “why??”. Which is to say: I wasn’t really surprised that she had said it, I was much more surprised that I had understood it.”

#13. Driver was shook.

“In Quebec on a ski trip a bus hit my dad’s car while trying to park. My dad got onto the bus and started talking to the driver. The driver was quite apologetic, but when my dad started asking for his insurance information he all of a sudden couldn’t speak English. Without skipping a beat dad switches to interrogating the driver in French, the language he did all of his education until university. Driver was shook.”

#14. The whole class died laughing.

“This happened in HS, My home room teacher sent me to the principles office with some paperwork that was requested. As I walk in I see this one guy in the principles office, tall black dude, will call him “Mr J” and he is speaking fluent Spanish with the Spanish teacher. I drop off the papers with the secretary and go back to class. It’s almost end of day and I’m in my English class and we have a substitute teacher…Mr. J

Well kids being kids no one is listening to him, and one of my classmates, Millie, who’s sitting on the other side of the room from me starts bad mouthing him in Spanish to 3 other girls. I kept telling her to shut up, but she wouldn’t listen and just went on and on.

He heard me try to warn her and motioned for me to stop, so I stopped. And thats when he began talking back to her in Spanish! I didn’t say a thing, and the whole class died laughing, Millie then began to yell at me for not warning her and Mr. J told her..”she tried to warn you but you didn’t listen” she and the other girls got detention for about a week.”

#15. I love Korea.

“Visiting South Korea with my wife, a native of that country. I’m shaped like a lumberjack, and have a big, red lumberjack beard to match. A group of Korean women in their 50s and 60s nearby were laughing and calling me a “bear” which I found hilarious. So one of the older ones says, “Gom” (“bear”) to me as she passes by, and I start laughing. She makes that face like, “Did he understand what just I said?” So I raise my arms and make a playful growl at her. She is horrified and starts apologizing while her friends all cover their mouths and giggle, as Korean women customarily do. I love Korea.”

Never assume, y’all. You know what that does.

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15 Things About Being an Adult That We Never Understood as Kids

As a child, I remember wanting desperately to be an adult. Grown-ups got to do whatever they wanted – they could watch R-rated movies, use swear words, and stay up late.

I never realized until I grew up, however, that all of those perks don’t even BEGIN to offset all the annoying parts of being an adult. Things like bills, responsibilities, and spending 5/7ths of your life working for people who probably don’t give you what you deserve.

The 15 things below definitely make me nostalgic for the carefree days of my childhood.

#1. Bills to pay.

my dad wasn’t a workaholic, we just had bills to pay.

#2. I really thought I’d need the karate chop.

I used to think that living beyond 24 was crazy and impossible
I used to think you would grow up to be a particular person instead of a larger version of yourself. I genuinely thought I could become Prince.
I really thought I’d need the karate chop as a part of my adult life

#3. How to cherish the silence.

As a kid I thought if it was quiet it was boring and the worst possible thing. Now I work in a library and cherish the silence more than anything.

#4. Lefts and rights.

The whole “my right vs. your right” thing confused the heck out of me as a preschooler. I knew my own lefts and rights but when my mom was facing me and used to say “my right isn’t the same as your right” I learned to just do the opposite of what she looked like. Problem is this led to me thinking that the difference was because of AGE, so kids’ lefts and rights were the opposite of adults’ lefts and rights. So somehow I got the idea in my head that when you turned 21 your lefts and rights switched (I have no clue why I specifically thought 21, I had this image in my head of blowing out 21 candles and everyone saying congratulations and you get some kind of certificate to officially switch them). Well I’m 21 now and my lefts and rights never switched.

#5. Just double the Christmas presents.

That my parents couldn’t just double the presents this Christmas if I tell them it’s okay to not do anything for next Christmas.

#6. A dog and children.

The stress of paying bills and budgeting. My parents tried to keep this hidden from me but I could tell how much they carefully budgeted. They also sacrificed for us kids. I didn’t get that until I had a dog first and then children.

#7. Value.

The value of all the shit I trashed or broke.

#8. Some people are selfish jerks.

Not everyone is inclined to do the right thing. Some people are selfish jerks and it sucks, but you just have to accept it and do what you believe is right. There are a lot of awesome people out there too, and you can’t get too cynical about the world because of the shitty people in it

#9. Not a given.

Vacations and breaks aren’t a given. You don’t just get to stop working for a few weeks randomly throughout the year, and no one plans around your vacation – you must plan all of your own (and sometimes other people’s) work around your departures. Oh, and vacations are expensive. There’s probably a reason that Billy down the block’s family is able to take five people to Disneyworld: because they have money.

I’m a violin teacher now and blew this poor kid’s mind this past weekend when he asked me what I was doing for spring break. I sort of stared at him for a second, and then remembered that spring break is a thing that kids get…so I told him that I’m working because I don’t get a spring break and he was just completely aghast. Sorry buddy, the adult world isn’t as fun as being a kid.

#10. Because they weren’t cool.

The Alanis Morissette lyric “You’re my best friend / best friend with benefits” from “Head Over Feet.” I told my parents that my best friend was my best friend with benefits when I was like 8, and they laughed hysterically and I just assumed it’s because they weren’t cool and into Alanis’s music and didn’t understand that it clearly meant “super best friend.”

#11. Special phones with letters.

How to dial any phone number that was alphanumeric. 1-800-WAIT-WUT. I thought adults had access to special phones with letters.

#12. New jokes every time.

Calvin and Hobbes jokes. Reread and there’s new jokes every time.

#13. The value of afternoon naps.

How grown-ups fall asleep after Sunday lunch, Christmas dinner, etc. It was so boring as a kid but now I fully understand the value of afternoon naps in the sun after a roast dinner.

#14. Such a pretty name.

I didn’t know what virginity was and my dad would say I would understand when I got older. In the meantime, I thought it would make such a pretty name for a girl.

#15. How seldom they do.

You wouldn’t care what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they think of you.

Youth is definitely wasted on the young.

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15 Problems That are Uniquely European

There are so many great posts about the unique aspects of life in America, so we figured why not give our European brethren a chance to shine – and by “shine” we mean “tell us all the weirdest things about your life.”

#1. Adapting.

Popping over to your friend in the next country over only to find out they have the wrong configuration of 2/3 pins only to have to quickly drive back over the border to pick up your adapter so you can charge your phone.

#2. Despite all the data mining.

Despite all the data mining Google will still suggest me website in German eventough it knows that I only speak French. Edit : yes I also speak English but on local websites there is either French or German so the website will automatically set the German option despite my location being in the French speaking part of my country.

#3. Often expected.

It’s often expected that you need to learn your native language, English, and frequently one more language to a good level.

Edit: I want to thank everyone who took their time to reply! It’s been fascinating reading all your comments about the cultures of your countries growing up!

#4. No cool stamps.

Not getting any cool stamps in the passport when travelling through Europe

#5. Living in the Balkans.

Having a war every 20 years or so​

-sincerely, someone living in the Balkans

#6. Still bitter.

The wrong song representing your country in Eurovision. Still bitter.

#7. Not speaking in online games.

People not speaking in online games since they don’t speak english as their first language and are insecure about it.

#8. Netflix content.

different Netflix content when you change country

#9. Skinny people only.

Small roads. Dunno if this is just England. But my street can only fit one car and a skinny person and the MAIN road, outside it, can barely squeeze a bus and a big van.

#10. Happened to me.

Studying a few months in a neighboring country, falling in love, getting married and suddenly having a bunch of relatives you can’t talk to. Happens very quickly here. Happened to me.

#11. Still part of the Soviet Union.

Having a website in russian language automatically because some people still think your country is part of soviet union.

#12. Dead body storage.

Having to dig massive catacombs under cities to store all the dead bodies

#13. Sh*tty Viking raids.

Spending 3 hours driving to another country because the soda, candy and alcohol is cheaper and filling entire trailers and cars with it. Everyone who lives in Denmark on Jutland takes roadtrip over the border to Germany shopping at places like Kalle and Fleggaard, and stockpile huge amounts of soda, food and alcohol so that they have enough for months or years to come. It’s basically just shitty Viking raids

#14. WWII left some exciting treasures.

Problem of Germany and most likely London and the area around. (Can’t tell for other countries; so not sure if it counts but I am pretty confident that besides Spain every country has this problem to some extent) Having to plan for bomb defusal whenever there is a bigger excavation in or near any bigger city. WW2 left some exciting treasures to search for.

#15. Not being sure exactly what country you’re in sometimes.

Not being sure of exactly what country you’re in sometimes, when you’re driving through some border regions. Taking a detour through Germany or France depending on traffic conditions.

None of that makes me want to visit again any less!

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15 Truly Terrifying Horror Movies That Don’t Rely on Cheap Scares

Are you a horror movie nut? Frankly, I’m a big ol’ scaredy-cat but my wife really loves them so I’ve ended up seeing a few as well. The thing is, not all horror movies are created equally – some just rely on gimmicks and gore rather than actually cultivating a sense of dread in the viewer.

If you’re a horror fan looking for some suggestions, it’s a good thing you clicked on this link. Users of AskReddit shared their favorite terrifying horror films that don’t rely on cheap gags and scares, and they did NOT disappoint.

Take note of these!

1. Lake Mungo

“Lake Mungo.

Shot like a documentary, and definitely one of the more realistic mockunentaries I’ve ever seen. It’s about a family in Australia who believe their house is being haunted by the presence of the recently deceased teenage daughter. Since it’s meant to be realistic, the entire film kind of focuses on the idea that spirits aren’t real. That’s all I’ll say about the plot.

It’s been about two years since I first (and last) seen it and it has certainly stuck with me. I think about it often.”

2. Good choice

“John Carpenter’s The Thing.”

3. Ringu

“The original Japanese version of The Ring (“Ringu”).”

4. The Ritual

“The Ritual is a great movie, and it’s on Netflix.

“Reuniting after the tragic death of their friend, four college pals set out to hike through the Scandinavian wilderness. A wrong turn leads them into the mysterious forests of Norse legend, where an ancient evil exists and stalks them at every turn.”

5. An old fashioned ghost story

“The Others (2001).”

6. From 1979

“Alien.”

7. A classic!

“The Hitcher. Its just this teenager who picked up a murder hobo, escaped, but then sees him in another car with a family and tries to intervene.”

8. I need to check this one out

“I don’t know anyone else that’s seen it, but They Look Like People is a pretty unsettling psychological horror.”

9. Unsettling

“Jacobs Ladder for sure, very unsettling atmospheres.”

10. Spooky

“Event Horizon was pretty spooky.”

11. Take Kubrick’s word

“The Vanishing. Dutch film. Completely terrifying. Kubrick said it was the scariest movie he ever saw.”

12. Home invasion

“Hush (2016) Most home invasion movies freak me out but this one really stuck with me.”

13. Here are two for you

“Night of the Living Dead (1968). The classic zombie flick scared the shit out of me as a kid! :O

It Follows (2015). The modern monster flick scared the shit out of me as an adult! :O “

14. Into the Catacombs we go

“One movie I liked that didn’t grab too much traction was As Above, So Below, about a group of college kids that get lost in the catacombs below Paris, and the demons they meet down there. It’s unsettling as a film, but also because it has actually happened that several people, drunk or whatnot, have ventured into the catacombs and gotten lost and died. The movie was filmed in the actual catacombs, and the effects are really good. Plus there is a psycological aspect to the haunting that occurs, particularly amongst the more guilty of the group. Would recommend.

There are jump scares, but they are legitimate.”

15. Nightmares

“The Mothman Prophecies” shares a spot with the original “Nosferatu” as one of three movies that legitimately gave me nightmares.”

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