Category: ask reddit

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15 People Share the Dumbest Things They’ve Done While They Were Under the Influence

People do a lot of weird/stupid/crazy things when they’re high on drugs. And a lot of funny things. And a lot of ridiculous things.

You get the picture.

AskReddit users were brave enough to admit the weirdest things they did while they were high.

1. You did your best.

“I was fucked up looking for my hotel in Atlantic City. Somehow got there and woke up the next morning to just ‘hotel’ being in the search bar of my spotify. That was my best effort.”

2. Am I allowed to leave?

“Got up to leave my bedroom and knocked on the door before opening it to go out.”

3. A role reversal.

“Went to let the dog out and I walked out instead and left my dog inside.”

4. WTF am I doing?

“One time years ago I was camping at a campground with my wife and a few friends, we’re all sitting around the fire drinking. Her brother and I go for a walk to smoke some joints. We finish that and I have to piss so he goes back to the group, and when I’m done I head back as well.

So I get back and I’m pretty baked at this point and I’m just standing there watching the fire and drinking my beer for a few minutes. I then noticed a particular Coleman lantern on the picnic table and thought to myself, ‘I don’t remember us having one of those here’.

It was at that point that I realized I was standing at the wrong damned campsite, amongst a bunch of people I have never met, while my group was watching from the next site over, laughing and wondering wtf I was doing.”

5. So proud…

“Eating yoghurt with a fork in front of my parents. My dad waited for about 10 minutes to say that a spoon might make it easier.”

6. Probably the best place you can go when high.

“Went to White Castle to get food for everyone after we smoked. We all had the same order, two double cheese sliders and an order or mozzarella sticks. When I gave her my order I didn’t just say that I wanted 8 double cheese sliders in total, I repeated the two double cheese sliders and mozzarella sticks 4 times.

By the time I got to the end of my order the cashier sounded so defeated. I still cringe thinking back to that moment, but it’s also one of my funniest smoke stories.”

7. No more ciggies.

“A few years ago I was on shrooms with some friends and we went on a walk to smoke a cig. Every time I took a puff of my cigarette, I was expecting to taste Mountain Dew and I was disappointed every time that it didn’t. I quit smoking cigs a few days after that!”

8. I’m a genius!

“Was watching a korean drama when I had a whole freak out when I realized “Holy shit!! I suddenly understand korean!” I woke my bf up and made him watch with me as I translated for him. He laughed at me for 5 minutes before he told me I was just actually just reading the subtitles.”

9. Where could they be?

“Spent 45 mins looking for my glasses with my friend. Said fuck it bc I had to leave and was now running late. When I went to put on my sunglasses I smashed them onto my glasses.

I had my glasses on my fucking face the whole time and neither myself or my friend noticed.”

10. Wait a second…

“Ordered food for delivery. Forgot. Went to grocery store for stuff to BBQ. Remembered about the food for delivery while paying in line.”

11. Sorry, my bad.

“Freaked out that I’d lost my ipod somewhere on the way to the train station. I got off the train and went back, retracing my steps all the way back to my apartment.

Only to realize that I was listening to music the whole time… on my ipod.”

12. Sounds like quite a night.

“Some girls in high school invited me to go smoke and swim in a creek with them. Of course I went to got high as f*ck. Spent the next 30 minutes sitting in the creek, I was so still that a fish came up and bit my ass. I didn’t realize what I was doing until one of the girls ask me why the fuck I was all alone sitting in the middle of a creek not moving.”

13. Didn’t get hauled in.

“I was on acid at a music festival and asked a cop if he would name a hurricane after me.

Fortunately he thought that was funny.”

14. Time well spent.

“Walked up to the bathroom mirror with a flashlight, shined it on my eyes and studied the color patterns of my eyes for about 20 minutes straight. And singing loudly at the same time.”

15. We have a winner!

“I set a hot pocket in the microwave and put in my pin number for the cook time.”

The post 15 People Share the Dumbest Things They’ve Done While They Were Under the Influence appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Things That Make Them Get Furious with Other People

I try to be positive and be kind to everyone, but man, sometimes people really get on my nerves and I can’t help but get incredibly annoyed at them.

Hey, I’m working on it, okay?

Hopefully, these AskReddit users, are as well, because they are pretty fired up about people right now.

1. Turn on your signal!

“When people slow down as soon as they cut in front onto your lane on the highway. Worst is when they do it with no blinkers.”

2. Before you accuse me…

“When people twist the truth and accuse you of things you didn’t do and people side with them.”

3. I said ‘no’!

“People who can’t take “no” for an answer and will push you to agree/accept what they say.

People who can’t accept criticism when they fuck up and affect other people’s lives.

People who can’t have a discussion where they are being told a fact and they disprove it because “back in the day…” or authority arguments should always win.

It teaches you some hardcore patience when you have to deal with people like these on the daily.”

4. I would be LIVID.

“My dog ran away 5 days ago and I’ve been posting on every website trying to find him. Someone posted him as FOUND yesterday and SOMEONE ELSE CLAIMED HIM. Had to contact the police to help me finally get him back after 5 hours of headache because the person that found him blocked me and they were only trying to cooperate after the Facebook group that originally thought he was returned to his rightful owner put them on blast for stealing my dog. People fucking suck man.”

5. Just admit it.

“When they did something obviously wrong and still openly denies it.”

6. There’s a lot of this going around.

“People who abuse their power and get away with it scot free.”

7. Clean up after yourself.

“People who say “Oh it’s their job to clean up after me” or “I’m making sure that they’re still employed” as an excuse for not cleaning up after themselves in public.

Like NO.

You don’t leave a soda spilled everywhere and then not even attempt to clean it up.

You don’t leave rolls and rolls of toilet paper all over the floor in the bathroom.

You don’t leave bags of popcorn and drinks and popcorn all over a theater floor and seats.

Take responsibility.

Clean. Up. Your. Mess.”

8. Sketchy folks everywhere.

“People that find the utmost joy in saying nasty shit behind others back.

Either that or people that plot on other peoples demise, you know like sit there and watch them make a mistake only to use it against them for their own personal gain when they could have just helped them in the first place.”

9. One of my biggest pet peeves.

“People who litter. Especially when there is a bin literally a metre away.”

10. That was supposed to be private.

“When a coworker decides to “correct” me by sending a passive aggressive email and copying the boss and the whole group instead of just saying something to me privately and in person.”

11. A huge red flag.

“People being assholes to servers/hosts at a restaurant.”

12. Put it back where it belongs.

“People who don’t return their grocery cart. Like, who do you think you are?”

13. Amen to this one.

“People who mistreat animals. I just can’t fathom the mindset that enables someone to hurt truly innocent creatures.”

14. I totally don’t understand this phenomenon.

“Youtube/Instagram/social media “influencers” who make a living off being an obnoxious piece of shit, with thousands/millions of mindless drones rooting them on, buying their merch, giving them advertising power, and imitating them.

And to clarify, I’m not talking about all “influencers”, I’m specifically talking about ones who harass, annoy, and distress people (usually completely random bystanders), cause drama, and have a mindless legion of followers who support it all the way.”

15. A sad sight, indeed.

“Graffiti on historical monuments/buildings.”

The post People Share the Things That Make Them Get Furious with Other People appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Secret Things That Their Parents Don’t Know About Them

Do you keep things from your parents? Stuff that you just think they’re better off not knowing?

Maybe they’re little white lies or maybe they’re big, explosive, dark secrets that would shatter their world.

AskReddit users went on the record and revealed what dear old mom and dad don’t know about them.

1. We’re married!

“I’ve been married for 6 years. My husband and I have been together almost 40 years but we were crazy kids who didn’t need a piece of paper to prove our love. After a health scare my husband’s sister made a comment that implied she had a closer legal relationship than I did. It was offhanded but it made us think.

We already had wills, medical power of attorney, etc., paperwork done but we decided to get married just to make it more cut and dry. Only a few people know we’re married. Our kids and a couple of close friends. And now some people on Reddit.”

2. A terrible secret

“They accused me of coming home ‘strung out.’ I was actually sexually assaulted and just looked like sh*t.”

3. Parents don’t need to hear some things

“I was raped nearly ten years ago. I have PTSD but told them it’s just a panic disorder. Theres a running joke in our family about how I’m so jumpy, they don’t know it’s a startle response. Some things, a parent just doesn’t need to hear about their child.”

4. Sad

“I still have cancer — my mom thinks I’m “cured” (she has Alzheimer’s so we’re not correcting her).”

5. Keep it covered

“That I have a tattoo. It’s been 4.5 years and they have never seen it.”

6. In the dark

“I’m glad my grandfather is dead. He was abusive, but I don’t think my parents realized the extent of it.”

7. Emotional abuse

“My mom doesn’t know that the mental/emotion abuse she inflicted on me as a child almost made me kill myself at thirteen/fourteen. She is a very big denier of these actions and manipulations during my childhood but I’ve gone through therapy and have made my peace. We have a decent relationship now but it will never be what I have with my father.

He’s the reason I stayed on this earth and even then I don’t even think he realizes that he literally saved my life when I asked him to fight for my custody at fifteen. I think he knows to some extent but I don’t want to ever ask if he knew bc I know how painful it is for him, he already struggles with the fact that he didn’t fight for me when they split (I was three). He chose to let me decide for myself and didn’t want me to resent him for taking me away from her without my own decision. I

hit my breaking point and he jumped into action with a lawyer and saved my life. I try my hardest to reassure him that he was trying his best and regardless I still turned out okay but I know he still beats himself up over it.”

8. Worried

“How I constantly worry about them dying.”

9. You don’t know me

“Everything, they never took the time to get to know me.”

10. This is scary

“My parents don’t know that I’ve “awakened” to the fact that we are in a cult and that they are blind devotees. ?

I wanted to leave but I don’t them to disown me. They are lovely people but they have devoted themselves to this stupid cult that they turn into monsters whenever someone criticizes the religion.

They think I’m “fortunate” because I was born “saved” into this stupid cult but in reality they’re being controlled by the cult’s narcissist leader and siphons their money twice a week.”

11. Not just roommates

“That I share a bed (and more) with my “roommate.” “

12. Hiding it well

“My dad always comments on how confident and chill I seem. I’m usually experiencing a lot of anxiety, mostly about money and my future. Hard to let those feelings show, though.”

13. That’s depressing

“That I regularly search the obituaries for their names. I don’t want to have anything to do with them, but I’d like to know when they are dead.”

14. Affected

“That they didn’t provide me with nearly enough emotional connection growing up. Sure I was provided for, but I was never really connected with on an emotional level. I wish they knew how much that affects me.”

15. Scandalous!

“That I failed out of college and have been pretending to go to classes.”

The post People Share Secret Things That Their Parents Don’t Know About Them appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Their Worst First Date Stories

If all dates went perfectly and people ended up together forever, the world would probably be a happier place. But it would also be a much more boring place. Then, you wouldn’t have any “awful first date” stories.

Terrible first date stories are one of the most universally relatable, because everyone’s had a bad first date–and for some people, that’s the only kind of date they’ve ever been on! But the interesting thing is, while everyone’s had a bad first date, no two bad first date stories are exactly alike. People are complex and they’ll always surprise you. Even when they’re disappointing you.

Recently, a Redditor posted an Ask Reddit thread prompting people to share their bad first date stories, and the people of Reddit delivered. Here are 15 awful first dates that will make you want to swear off dating forever.

1. Now that’s how you “think outside the bun.”

“Online dating in your 40s sucks. I met this guy online (it was not Tinder) and he kept bugging me to take me out to dinner. I finally agreed and he said he wanted to take me “somewhere nice.” Now I don’t know about any of you, but when I hear “somewhere nice”, to me that involves wait staff and tablecloths. We agreed to meet in a well-lit grocery store parking lot and ride to the restaurant in his car. It’s cool out so I put on a dress and tights and high heeled boots and go to meet him in the parking lot of the strip mall. He pulls up in a Mercedes and I wonder if I’m dressed well enough for wherever we’re going. We do the greetings and I get in his car and he drives across the parking lot–‘ to the Taco Bell drive-thru. I am not joking. I text my teenage daughter and she tells me that things like that only happen in the movies. Needless to say, there was no second date.” – SkippyBluestockings

2. Nothing says romance like “Grandma’s funeral.”

“The guy I was seeing asked me if I wanted to get together one night. Nothing special, I figured we’d hit a club or just go f*ck around with his friends per usual. So, fine, into my usual goth metal head gear I go. It’s been nearly twenty years I think, and I still remember what I was wearing- ripped up pleather pants, fishnets, chrome jewelry, and my classy af Cradle of Filth tshirt that featured two nuns molesting a naked woman. In my defense I was eighteen and this was the nineties.

I picked the guy up, and he said we needed to stop someplace first, and gave me directions to a nice residential neighborhood. We pull up to a house, and the first thing I notice is the hearse parked in the drive. Okay, cool, I love hearses. Hate driving them, but damn are they beautiful. Guy leads me into the house where we are suddenly the focus of a large crowd of very solemn people. Before I could figure out what’s going on, my date burst into tears, literally pushed me into the arms of some guy, and ran into a side room where he then threw himself across the body of an elderly woman. I just stood there in shock until one of people explained that my date’s grandmother had passed away earlier that day, and the family had gathered to say thier goodbyes before the mortuary staff took her away. His family looked uncomfortable, the mortuary staff looked like they just wanted to leave already, and I wanted to sink into the earth and disappear. One of the uncles handed me a piece of pizza and a soda and brought me out to the backyard to meet the rest of the extended family. I think I spent a good two hours trying to make small talk with the family while doing my best to cover the front of my tshirt with my arms. They were actually very gracious given the circumstances, but it was the most awkward two hours of my life. The worst part was that my date had known prior to asking me out that night and didn’t bother to warn me.” – threadtoss

3. Always keep your hookups straight.

“Moved to Houston for a new job, didn’t know anybody in the state. Decided tinder/bumble was a good route.

Worked on deep-water oil rigs in the GOM, so I’d match with the girls, and used my time offshore to get that “idk sh*t about you” phase to warm up and get to know them, that way when I got back in town we’d be semi-comfortable with each other. So I matched with this one girl and we got along great so we set up a date when I’d be back in town.

Fast forward to date night. I let her pick the place because I was relatively new to the area and figured I’d let her pick so she’d feel more comfortable. We agreed to an 8:00 bar date, I show up, at like 7:45? This girl had clearly been there for a while. She’s obviously pretty drunk so I figure “nice, she enjoys a good time”. Fast forward 2 hours, she is barely standing up and I’m lightyears behind. She was drinking like her life depended on it. So I asked if she wanted to go upstairs and kinda relax (upstairs was the more chill zone, lots of seating, calmer music, all that). So we’re walking up the stairs and on the 2nd to last step she slips and face plants into one of those “$10 bucket of beers” signs, so I call it a night, put her in a cab, pay and tip and ask the driver that he makes sure she gets home safely.

9 am the next morning, I get a text: “had a blast last night! Was sorta pissed you left so early this morning though”.

So she apparently hooked up with some random guy between the cab door and her front door. She later apologized and asked if I wanted to try again for a second date, which obviously never happened.” – prfalcon61

4. The multi-tasker.

“Several dates in and it’s starting to get fairly serious with this girl. We had been spending weekends at each other’s places and stuff. She goes to the bathroom. Comes back and had been texting. Her phone was in her hand and turned her body a bit to talk to the server. As she turns I can see her phone a bit and she had been sending nudes. From the bathroom. On our date. The name at the top of the text is her ex. I excused myself to hit the bathroom but instead just leave, stuff her with the bill and stranded there. This was before Uber, and taxis are not cheap in Jacksonville.” – GATOR7862

5. The charmer.

“Guy showed up drunk. Told me for half an hour straight how much his life sucked, how he had a hangover from the night before and how he had to go partying again although he did´t really want to.

Didn´t ask me one single question about me, was really completely uninterested. Needless to say I did not join him when he went to said party. Went home instead, when I arrived home he had already unmatched me on tinder.” – surgeonette

6. Nothing’s more romantic than Foot Locker.

“I didn’t know what he had planned for our first date. He picked me up and took me to a different city, to shop (for) gym clothes for him … since I couldn’t leave I endured, pissed. After a while, we had tea (from a really crappy place) and I had to pay for it because ‘he didn’t have money.’” – source

7. The keys to a woman’s heart: a Furby, an anger problem, and weird coffee shop issues.

“I dabbled into some online dating a while back when I was single. This one guy refused to meet me inside the coffee shop.

Stupid me decided ‘I’ll meet him outside anyways.’ We walked around the little mall for a bit chatting about our jobs and such and what he wanted to do after our little ‘date.’ He ends up driving me home and showed me this Furby that he claims he likes to punch when he’s mad and busts out the ‘so can I get in your pants or naw?’” – SmileySammie

8. Didn’t need a crystal ball to predict that one…

“He took me to go see a psychic, who proceeded to tell him that we wouldn’t last as a couple and would end up splitting up. On the 2 hour drive home he cried and said he didn’t see the point in dating if we weren’t going to end up in a proper relationship. I just wanted to get the hell out of there, but to make matters worse, when he pulled up outside my house he locked me in his van and wouldn’t let me out. Oh and then he would watch me from his van for about 3 weeks afterwards and ring my phone continuously so I couldn’t use it.” – AshleighElizabethOx

9. Anime ruins yet another romance.

“3rd date with a gorgeously giant linebacker. He was smooth and had good intentions. We finally got to his place and instead of initiating anything he ended up explaining (spoiling) the entire Naruto: Shippuden plot. Meanwhile I’m sitting on his bed waiting for him to stop talking… but he talked about Naruto for well over 30 minutes. Also I wasn’t allowed to play the stupid Naruto game on the PlayStation that had sparked his sermon, because it was “so complicated” and I had to “learn the combos first”. When he finally tried to kiss me my patience was spent and I just went home. To this day I’m still in awe of that man’s closet weebery.” – napqveen

10. And that’s why you never swipe right on someone named “Hannibal L.”

“It was a blind date, we met up at a coffee shop close to our university. He was very high, and it was hard to get a conversation going. He just kept telling me I was as beautiful as the brick wall we were sitting next to, and that my skin looked soft enough to be made into a nice robe. The date lasted maximum 15 minutes.” – merlot-o

11.  Ice, ice baby.

“There was this girl I had been trying to go out with for a while. We were kind of on and off for a bit in terms of her being interested or not. Finally we decided to meet up for drinks with the intention of having a date.

We go to one of my favorite spots where my friend is a bartender. He makes really unique cocktails which all taste amazing. This place is more of a fine dining restaurant, so the atmosphere is perfect for getting to know someone.

There was something ODD about the way this girl was acting though. She was louder than she needed to be and making weird banshee-like noises from time to time. She did seem coherent enough to hold a conversation though. I wasn’t quite sure if she was already drunk or on something. My friend realizes this and pours her a water. He also pours everyone else at the bar a water as not to single her out.

She gets extremely offended, looks at my friend and says, “So you think I’m drunk? Is that is?” He replies with a curious smirk saying, “I’ve actually poured everyone water.”

She looks disgusted but turns away and continues speaking to me. On the side of the bar is a stainless steel open cooler (looks like a sink) built into it. In this cooler is filled with ice and various bottles of liquor.

She grabs some ice out of the cooler with her hands and proceeds to eat it. After about the third handful, my friend looks at her and says, “Please don’t eat the ice out of my cooler. I can give you a glass of ice if you want. I need this ice for my bottles and this ice is actually pretty dirty.”

This again, infuriates her and she excuses herself to go to the bathroom. As soon as she leaves, my bartender friend looks me square in the eye and says, ‘Get her the f*ck out of here!’

The date ended shortly after that.”

12. More like “exclamation point!” HEY-O!

“My first date when I was 15. Got my period but didn’t notice it since I was too exited. On our way out, every single person in cafe noticed it since my whole ass was, actually, covered in blood.” – optimistic_girl

13. You two would have a great affair together.

“A friend set me up with a girl he knew. She was cute, funny, smart, everything you hope for in a blind first date. After spending a good part of the day with her, we end up at this frozen yogurt spot. We talk for a bit and she mentions how much fun she had today. Then she says how much her boyfriend would like this spot and that we should all hang out next week. Never asked that friend to set me up ever again.” – TaiTW

14. Three witnesses are much worse than one.

“I once puked on myself during a double date.” – NVSK

15. If nothing else, at least this story will teach you what “frog gigging” is.

“Oh goodness, my worst date was pretty bad.

I was 18 or 19 and got setup on a date by a friend. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and she wanted me to see a good guy. The man worked with her husband for the county police.

He and I exchange numbers, but don’t exchange photos because we both wanted to get to know each other as a person and not judge based off looks. He was honest, told me he was a little bit bigger. When I hear a little bit bigger, I think f a guy that is stocky/has a minor gut. Not a deal breaker so it wasn’t an issue.

I was having some car issues so we agreed to have him pick me up for our date. He sends me a text saying he’ll be there in 30 mins, which I appreciate so I know how much longer I have to finish my makeup. 30 minutes goes by and I think I hear a car pull into the driveway, but I wasn’t sure. Two minutes goes by and I hear honking. Yep, guy is hoking the horn to let me know he’s there. Doesn’t come to my door or even send a text, he honks.

I go outside and walk to his truck and as I’m struggling to get in, I’m only 5’1″ and his truck is lifted, I want to get right back out. This man was more than a little big, he was huge. I’m talking close to 350 big. I was irritated about that; not that he was big, but that he lied to me about his size.

He starts driving and the conversation is going well, so no issues there. I ask him where we’re going and he just tells me, “A nice, small and local restaurant that I really like.” Alright I can work with that as I love supporting local places. We get there and the place looks cute on the outside. He parks right next to the handicap parking, so we’re really close to the door. By the time he walks to the front door he’s breathing extremely heavy and is really out of breath. I’m trying not to show any concern, but I can’t help but wonder to myself how the hell is this man an officer?

We get inside the place and it’s a buffet. I know that’s not the worst, but I really hate buffets. I’ve just never liked them as I find them to be pretty disgusting, especially if you watch how people handle the food when they’re getting it. This puts me in kind of a down mood, but I’m not saying anything because he said it’s one of his favorite places. As we make our way through the restaurant we get stopped multiple times because everyone knows him and wants to talk, slightly annoying, but fine; that is until I hear him introduce me as his girlfriend. That’s right, our first date and he’s telling everyone he talks to that I’m his girlfriend. People would ask how long we’ve been together and I would speak up saying it was first date and that we weren’t actually dating. He looked like a sad puppy dog, but we weren’t and I wasn’t going to tell people we were.

We finish dinner and he tells me we need to go back to his place real quick because we need to get some stuff for the second part of our date, but won’t tell me what the second part is. We get to his place and there are a bunch of cars out front. I just dismissed it as possibly roommates. He asks me to go inside with him to grab the stuff and as we walk in I’m greeted by his entire family. Mother, father, grandparents, uncles, aunt’s, sisters, brother in law’s, nieces and nephews. This is pretty much my breaking point where I decided I can’t keep looking for positives and that there is no way in hell this man is getting a second date. As I’m meeting his family, they keep telling me how nice it is to meet his girlfriend. Girlfriend there is that word again.

In trying not to cringe as I talk to his family, but they keep calling me his girlfriend, no matter how many times I tell them that this is only our first date. His nieces were adorable and one asked to sit on my lap and have me braid her hair. I’m great with kids and won’t say no to a little girl asking me to do her hair. As I’m braiding her hair, she asks me when am I going to become her auntie? That put me into shock. This little 5 year old just asked me when I’m going to marry her uncle. I try not to show how shocked I am and just tell her I’m not sure. Once I finish her hair I get up and go talk to someone else. As I’m standing there talking to his sister, the best friend and his wife walk in the door. I find out at this moment our date is actually going to be a double date. His sister brings up marriage and does it really loud to the point where most people can hear and it goes silent as they’re waiting for my response. I just say this is our first date so if it was to get to that, it will be a while. In my head I know it’s never going to get to that point.

My date and his best friend go into the garage to get stuff to put into the truck. As they’re doing that, I get asked if I’m really wearing that (it’s August, so I have one a cute tank top, shorts and strappy sandals) to go giggin’? I have no damn clue what the hell giggin’ is so I say yes. Family members are looking shocked and his sister has me a bottle of bug spray and tells me I’m going to need it.

We get in the truck and his friend follows us. I ask him what exactly we’re going to do and he tells me frog giggin’. I have no idea what the hell that is and ask him. Frog gigging = frog hunting. For a first date he takes me frog gigging. Seriously, please don’t take a person frog gigging for a first date. He pulls over and his friends get into the back of the truck and then he drives into this big field. He finds a spot and the three of them get all excited about finding some frogs. I’m pretty annoyed by now, but in trying to be nice and I talk with the other woman there.

Once again, the damn topic of marriage gets brought up. For some reason this is a great thing to talk about on a first date for these people. As the lady and I talk she talks about her wedding and tells me how they went frog gigging and caught enough to serve fried frog legs at their wedding. They also had hush puppies, sweet tea, lemonade, potato salad, black eye peas and some other stuff.

As we’re talking about their wedding, her husband grabs the bat out of the truck bed, jumps out and runs into the field. She must have seen the look on my face and tells me he’s a taxidermist and probably just saw something. Sure enough he found a fox and looks extremely proud of himself as he’s walking back to the truck, holding this fox by the tail that he just killed. He then starts talking about his job and I honestly have no interest and I’m at the point where I’m tired of being nice because I’m being bit by mosquitoes constantly and the date has just been hell. It must have become apparent because he got the hint and stopped talking.

Finally the date is over and he’s driving me back home. He keeps talking about how much fun he had, how he can’t wait for a second date and that he really likes me. Icing on the cake, he lights up a cigarette as he’s driving. I really hate the smell of cigarettes and my asthma starts kicking in. We finally pull into my driveway and he leans in for a kiss. I tell him I don’t kiss on the first date, which is a lie and get into my house as fast as I possibly can.” – i_belong_to_da_ocean

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15 People Share What Celebrities They Think Would Be Outed as Serial Killers

First off, I think this would be a great movie. Secondly, who do you think you would pick if you were posed with this question:

“If the headline “Celebrity outed as serial killer” appeared, who would you expect it to be about?

AskReddit users offered up their opinions. I can’t wait to dig into these!

Share your thoughts in the comments!

1. Prime suspect

“It almost pains me to say this because he is one of if not the best actors in the world, but Daniel Day-Lewis. The man protects his privacy extremely well. Doesn’t do a lot of movies (retired now) and stays as clean as possible. He is the prime guy.”

2. No way!

“Bill Murray.

“No one will ever believe you.”

turns to walk away

“You’ll never have the chance to tell them.”

3. Not a good legacy

“I hope that Tom Hanks dies peacefully in his sleep at a grand old age, with an untarnished history and nothing but funny stories about colleagues and strangers he helped and made happy.

And then they go to clear out the basement of his mansion and just find hundreds and hundreds of human heads in various states of decay.”

4. Say it ain’t so

“Carrot Top.”

5. A killer trifecta

“The first names that popped in my head were Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Jim Carrey.”

6. A disturbed dick…

“Andy Dick… the dude is f*cking disturbed. Oh… he’s also a dick.”

7. I hope not. One of my favorite directors…

“David Fincher. Between Se7en, Zodiac, Mindhunter, and the rest of his entire filmography, he really seems fascinated with compelling serial killers, sociopaths, and psychopaths. The performances of these characters are always unique, captivating, and unnerving.

They have an air of authenticity to them. Fincher makes some great films, and I’m not seriously suggesting the dude’s a serial killer, but he’s probably the only famous person I can think of where, upon being revealed as a serial killer, a common first reaction would be, “…Yeah okay, that explains a lot.”

8. Might not be a stretch?

“Quentin Tarantino… just cause.”

9. It’s all in the eyes

“The Olsen twins. They got some menacing eyes.”

10. I think you’re right on the money

“There’s a distinct lack of female celebrities on this list. I definitely think Tilda Swinton could murder us all one day.”

11. Insane if he wants to

“Nic Cage. Have you seen the memes about the Ghost Rider movies having zero CGI and that it was all him? He can be insane if he wants to.”

12. A true villain

“Elon Musk is one face scar away from being a James Bond villain.”

13. Good old Woody

“Woody Allen. Anyone who marries their wife’s adopted young daughter is seriously creepy.”

14. Look at the track record

“Brad Pitt. If a man can leave both Angelina Jolie AND Jennifer Anniston he’s capable of anything.”

15. Can’t put my finger on it…

“Definitely Katy Perry. Something is off about her.”

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15 People Share the Ways They Would Absolutely Not Want to Die

This is an uncomfortable question to consider, but that’s what AskReddit is about sometimes, right?

What is a way you would absolutely NOT want to die?

AskReddit users shared their opinions on this unsettling question.

Share your thoughts in the comments below!

1. That’s not good

“I remember reading about this guy that fell into a pit of concrete powder, and he inhaled some of it. It set in his lungs, causing him to very slowly and painfully suffocate.”

2. Burning up

“Lava. it’s a lot worse than movies make it look.”

3. Uggghhhh

“Being put in a big metal container naked then having the container get heated by a fire. It would be way worse than just being caught on fire.”

4. In the mud

“Drown in the mud like soldiers during WWI.”

5. No!

“Glow Worms. The way they kill their prey is one of the most painful ways to die in the animal kingdom. They use the silk stands to attract prey, paralyse them, drill a hole in the side of their head and fill their insides with stomach acid, then leave them – for 2 weeks to digest.”

6. Nightmare

“Getting buried alive.”

7. Quite an imagination

“Surviving a High-speed Car crash only to come out of surgery, live in massive pain for two days and then your heart gives out from all the excruciating pain.

Or surviving a fire but over half your body is covered in 3rd Degree wounds, only to die weeks before being cleared to leave and having to spend all those years in the burn unit only to never see the outside world again.”

8. This is real and scary

“Brain eating amoeba.”

9. Yikes

“Being skinned.

I mean it like being flayed while fully conscious.”

10. Not ideal

“John Jones, who got stuck upside down in a super tight cave passage in Utah and rescuers couldn’t get him out… so they had to just let him die and then sealed the cave up.

Yeah. Not my ideal bucket kicking.”

11. Sounds like a horror movie

“Cheese grater.”

12. Enclosed

“My biggest fear is being crushed to death, or being stuck in such a way that I can’t move. I don’t have severe claustrophobia, I’ll climb in a small enclosed space if it’s safe no problem, I used to do it all the time when I was a welder. But seeing pictures like this just give me high blood pressure.”

13. Scary

“Driving off a bridge into deep water. Its never happened to me, but for some reason the sound of a windshield cracking upon impact with water and the feeling of a seatbelt digging into my neck and hips pop up in my nightmares a lot. I have a hard time crossing bridges in vehicles, thanks to that.”

14. Not pleasant

“That one torture method where they leave a rat on top of your stomach trapped and starve the rat so it digs through your stomach. Crucifixion sounds pretty bad too or being burned in gasoline .”

15. That’s depressing

“Dying alone and slowly from old age, after everyone I know is dead.”

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People Share Things You’d Only Know If You Grew up Poor

Poverty in the U.S. is rampant, even if you don’t see it all the time. And there are some things that you only know about and understand if you grew up poor.

AskReddit users weighed in on this topic.

1. Pre-cut

“Pre-cut Christmas trees are free on Christmas Eve. I remember the Christmas tree hunt on Christmas Eve was like our little family tradition. We would drive around in the evening looking for stores that still had trees sitting out front. Nine times out of 10, when we would ask about the tree we were interested in, they would say “just take it,” glad to get rid of them by that point.

Every year we had a perfectly beautiful tree and it was exciting to find perfect trees for free and then stay up late decorating it with home-made glitter pine cones and candy canes.”

2. Hot checks

“If you send a bad check to the utilities company on a Friday you have power for the weekend.”

3. No one will stop them

“Most gas station attendants will not stop a small child from stealing toilet paper from their bathrooms. Who knew?”

4. Libraries are lifesavers

“Libraries can save your life.

The first part of my childhood I would get home from school, usually to a vacant house. I really wouldn’t know if I was even going to see either of my parents each night. No cell phones of course. But I was always afraid… nervous at least, of what would happen if they did decide to make an appearance.

I started walking to the library everyday after school and staying till they closed every night just to avoid the feeling of anxiety for a little longer. Eventually one of the librarians noticed and took a liking to me. I think she might have been through similar things in her life that she saw in me. Gradually we got to know each other. First I started noticing there were more books being added in the genres that I liked. Then one day after the library closed, I walked over to McDonald’s.

I was a quarter or so short to buy a hamburger and she saw me asking people if they had any change. I saw her and was embarrassed and kinda hid from her. From that point on I think she decided that she was going to take me under her wing. For over a year she would come by my desk at the library and just drop off chips, granola bars, pop, whatever you know? Of course, I would tell her I didn’t need it, when in reality I only knew where one meal would come from each day.

When I would ask her where it came from, she would just say it was extras from the break room, even though I could hear her in there putting coin after coin into the vending machine. Eventually she would just bring dinner every night to the library and we would sit down in the break room with each other and eat. I finally opened up to her about my family/living issues and had her to talk to. Even though I was still pretty guarded, this was a huge relief. THEN, after I had been there almost 2 years, it was the week before school started, and I headed into the library.

Before I left she told me to meet her outside after close. I did, we walked to her car, and she pulled out a brand new school backpack, and inside was a new outfit, binder, and shoes (my first Nikes). That’s when I broke down, and my walls crumbled. She was a single lady working off a librarians income, but she still made room for me.

For 3 years she supported me as much as she could, and she was more of a friend than I had ever experienced up until that point in my life. She is the number 1 reason I got out of that house and life. She was with me at all my adoption hearings, and made sure I was put with a nice family. She was at my graduation, and my wedding. She saw me grow up and succeed in life after coming from the bottom. She saw her work and love pay off. I went to her funeral this summer and it felt like I had lost my mother, but I couldn’t stop reflecting on how much she changed my life through her sacrifice.

Truly an amazing person, and I still donate to the library every year.”

5. You gotta eat

“How good a buttered tortilla is.”

6. Wintertime

“IDK about in other states but in Minnesota they can’t shut your power off during the winter because of the danger of someone freezing to death in their house. So that was a good time to try to catch up on some other bills you are way behind on too.”

7. All kinds of things

“Government cheese, doing your laundry in a bathtub using only cold water bc the gas was shut off, trying to spend the night at your friends house bc they had food and a warm room, (thanks Nikki) loving going to school because you could at least eat there, trips to Goodwill for “new” clothes, showers at school because at least three water was warm.

Being made fun of because you smelled like kerosene, having lice and no one doing anything about it, going to school with bruises bc your parents took their shitty decisions out in you. I’m so grateful to a handful of people that saw potential in me, I went to college, got a great job, and broke the cycle . Thanks Tom and Toni.”

8. Eat up

“Pizza nights are the best birthday present you could ever fucking get.

A whole pizza, ordered exactly how you like it, and you get to have more than one slice.”

9. Change

“Food stamp paper change.

When I was a kid , if you used food stamps they would give back the change in food stamp form. My Mom was too “proud” to publicly use them so she would make up a reason to leave & I would have to pay using them – I was 11 or so. She did it every time…I had to learn to keep my head up.”

10. Sacrifice

“That sometimes your parents sacrifice everything they have, including their sanity just to see you happy. And you only learn later in life the soul crushing existence of poverty. Then you wonder how they managed to do so much with so little.”

11. F*cked

“When you get home and see a yellow notice hanging off your door you’re fucked. It’s always on a Friday to so you’re out of luck until Monday.”

12. Going hungry

“What hunger really is. I remember waiting for my dad’s payday for the grocery shopping trip and being absolutely ravenous when the food got there.”

13. A good lesson

“Witness to the adage “how much you really do have”. Major fire wiped out several hundred million-dollar homes. Heat generated left rubble of two-story homes only feet high. Families devastated. I still see the face of one man so completely shattered, I wondered if he would live to be able to rebuild.

I later was in the Command Post area when I was approached by a young girl and her Father. The Dad couldn’t speak English, so the girl would translate. “My family wants to know if this is where we can bring donations for the people whose houses burned down?” To my working knowledge, none had been established at that point. Her Father talks, she translates: “can we leave it here? Many roads are being closed, and we’re not familiar with this part of town.”

I walk with them to their car, a much older beater, the Mom and a couple of siblings in it. Dad opens the trunk, and together, we all bring out couple cases of water, canned and dry food, adult and child clothing, some used toys, and prepared food. Almost list it when each kid handed me their toys. Little girl: “we have so much stuff and we want to share with those families.”

14. Work with what you have

“Outdated technology.

When I started college, one of my professors asked if anyone in our class remembered how you changed a channel on the TV before remote controls. I was the only person in the room who remembered turning dials and adjusting rabbit ears despite being one of the youngest students in the class, because my family had a TV from the 70s until 1995.

Same sort of thing with computers, phones, etc. If we had it at all, we got something much later than anyone else (after it got cheaper) and bought used. I got my first computer in 1999. It had Windows 3.1 and that was what I used until I was able to use my financial aid to get a new PC tower for college.”

15. Cheap items

“Knowing the cheapest thing on the menu at every restaurant, for when your friends’ family invites you out to dinner. Even though you’re not paying, you’re programmed to only select the cheapest thing. My friend’s mom said “you sure like hot dogs. That’s all you order no matter where we go to eat.”

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This Guy Plans to Share Lottery Winnings with His Ex-Wife, Whether It Upsets His Girlfriend or Not

This story is sure to raise some eyebrows…

The subreddit title Am I The A**hole is always rife with drama and situations that make you really think – it’s kind of like an advice column but where there’s no expert giving answers, just other people on the internet weighing in.

And this guy wondering if he’s the a**hole is definitely stirring up some differing opinions.

Basically, he won millions of dollars in the lottery (rough life, right?) and wants to give a hefty amount of it to his ex-wife (they have 2 kids together). They’re divorced because he cheated on her with his current girlfriend, so he was definitely the a**hole in that situation.

Now, though, that girlfriend is pissed at him – to the point of threatening to break up – because she thinks him wanting to give his ex the money means he’s still in love with her.

AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf? from AmItheAsshole

He maintains it’s just about giving back to her and ensuring that his children have a good, comfortable life no matter whose house they’re at, and, well…people have thoughts.

Some (most, perhaps) think he’s definitely NTA (not the a**hole).

Comment from discussion Safahri’s comment from discussion "AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf?".

Because reasons…

Comment from discussion dmkmom’s comment from discussion "AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf?".

And more reasons…

Comment from discussion anonymousforever’s comment from discussion "AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf?".

And more…

Comment from discussion ohemgee0309’s comment from discussion "AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf?".

Others think his girlfriend maybe has a point…

Comment from discussion fstarnes9’s comment from discussion "AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf?".

Because that’s A LOT of money…

Comment from discussion TrolleybusIsReal’s comment from discussion "AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf?".

But you’re not THAT much of an asshole…

Comment from discussion druefnielle’s comment from discussion "AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf?".

Because loyalty!

Comment from discussion helpppppppppppp’s comment from discussion "AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf?".

And a few think everyone involved sucks (ESH, everyone sucks here).

Comment from discussion GKShaktiShaman’s comment from discussion "AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf?".

Because doesn’t everybody suck in these cases?

Comment from discussion MissE_bb’s comment from discussion "AITA for giving my ex wife a large amount of money I won despite the anger of my gf?".

I don’t know where you fall, but I’m with the NTA folks – there’s nothing wrong with him wanting to make sure his kids and their mother don’t have to worry, and it sounds like he’s got plenty to spare.

Also, if the thought of his gf breaking up with him makes him feel relieved, well…I think the answer there is pretty clear.

My two cents!

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People Share the Best Weaknesses You Should Share in a Job Interview

Job interviews are pretty rough for interviewees. The nerves are palpable, and the back-and-forth between employer and job prospect can often be rife with landmines.

Then there’s the dreaded question: “What’s your biggest weakness?”

Ugh, now what? Well, we’re all in luck. These AskReddit users shared their opinions on how you should answer the most infamously difficult question to get “right.”

1. Awareness

“When I was graduating college I got interview tips from my dad who was heavily involved in the hiring process at his company for his department. His advice on this one, which I’ve used ever since and has gone great, was:

The whole “say a weakness that’s actually a positive” has been done to death and is such common knowledge that it’s no longer a clever “trick” and is now seen as avoiding the question. People want to see some self awareness, obviously don’t bring something absolutely terrible up, but mention a real flaw and most importantly what you’ve done to address or work with it.

For example the one I tend to use is that I can be forgetful so I now keep multiple sets of calendars, reminders, notes, etc to cover as much as possible.”

2. Nervous excitement

“One of my actual weaknesses: when I get nervous/excited, I tend to speak really fast and breathlessly. This can actually have a negative influence on my job as I work in healthcare and have to respond/communicate during emergencies.

For my next interview, I will bring this up, and say I have discovered that taking a second to collect myself and take a deep breath seems to calm my nerves and allow me to do/say what is needed in a more collected manner.”

3. Might work?

“What’s your greatest-”

“Weakness? Finishing other peoples’ sentences.” Calan_adan

“That’s what I was gonna’ say!”

4. Sharing

“For my current job, I said that I had a hard time sharing my ideas with new groups.”

5. Controlling

“Actual weakness: Taking on jobs by myself, not taking time to train other people to do them. In the end, I’m usually “the guy” and find myself feeling burnt out.

Probably could be worded better at an interview, but this could sound like you’re a “go-getter.” It might also encourage your employer to find opportunities for you to train other people to do things you particularly don’t like doing.”

6. Dedicated

“I said “I don’t like letting go of unfinished projects” during my interviews. I feel like it shows that I’m dedicated to the work I take on.”

7. Brutal honesty

“Show enough self awareness to know your actual weaknesses and mention how you’re working to reduce their impact on your life. For example, I have an issue with speaking compassionately. For a long time, I believed brutal honesty was the best way to go about things, but it often backfired and made people less willing to work with me because they respected me less and they thought I respected them less.

My wife has helped me with this by, for example when I say something and it’s phrased badly, she’ll say “stop. Try it again.” And I’ll rephrase it to be more empathetic and kinder while still getting across the information I want to communicate.”

8. …Yet

“If you are changing industries, your biggest weakness is not knowing the industry… yet.

If you are younger, say inexperience. Anything to show your willingness to learn and develop.”

9. Good move

“I work in healthcare and always say “Not speaking Spanish” and odds are the interviewer is also not fluent in Spanish so it comes across as not really a weakness. WIN-WIN!”

10. How will you respond?

“Frame it in terms of something you’re looking to improve. “Well, at my last performance evaluation I received some constructive criticism regarding X, so since then I’ve been doing Y and Z to focus on improving in that regard.”

Honestly though, if an interviewer asks you that ridiculous cliched question either they have no idea what they’re doing and/or don’t give a crap, or they aren’t looking for an answer but just want to see how you respond to being pushed.”

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15 Things That Totally Scream “I Peaked in High School”

You know the kind of people I’m talking about – your still friends on Facebook, probably so you can feel good about yourself – but it definitely seems like high school was the best years of their lives.

And well, if you’re worried that might be you, you’d better check this list of 15 signs it could be.

15. Sad.

At my ten year reunion, the prom queen came wearing a tiara with a custom “Queen ’03” sash over her shoulder. I had to go outside I was laughing so hard.

But I’ll be damned if she didn’t rock that outfit the while time, so, respect.

Still sad though.

14. I can see that.

I dated a guy with his high school mascot tattooed on his arm. It was such a turnoff.

13. Or in real life.

Still bullying the “nerds” at your 10 year reunion.

12. Fast times.

Selling pot to teenagers and then trying to get them to stay and smoke with you.

11. #bossbabe

Want to earn money from home and set your own hours?

E: thank y’all for the hella love. And sorry you all have had that ‘bestie’ (read: distant acquaintance) reach out to you with a desperate sales pitch.

10. A permanent reminder.

Getting the score of the football game you won against the school’s rival tattooed on your shoulder.

9. It might be time for a new jacket.

A guy who graduated from my high school back in 2003 was arrested a few years ago for his 2nd DUI. He was wearing his Letterman jacket in his mugshot.

8. Bless your heart.

We used to play indoor floor hockey in a loft room in the big gym of my middle school. One game I scored three goals, one of them being a bank shot off the wall.

The next year I wrote about the game for an assignment in English class and the teacher read it to the class the next day.

I’m not sure which one was my peak.

7. Stay cool!

Sharing EVERY memory from Facebook talking about the “good ol days” and “wish we could go back” when it’s only been a few years since graduation.

6. Technology doesn’t help everyone.

Filming yourself running drills and throwing footballs off camera in front of your van/mobile home.

5. Why are you still here?

When I was in high school, this guy a year before me had a fearsome reputation. At house parties, people would fear him just by name alone. He would show up to parties with his cronies and start fights. He came from a decent enough family. Everybody wanted to be on his good side.

Anyway, he graduates high school, and most of us were still in 12th grade. I remember he used to come around lunctime to smoke with the people out front, shoot the breeze and talk about how much fun it is to just sleep in and do nothing and have all this freedom.

A couple of months of “Ohhh cool!” To, “Why are you still here?” as we awkwardly shuffled back to class.

4. It’s just creepy at that point.

Partying with high schoolers when you’re 30.

3. Peaking, indeed.

Billy Joel feels compelled to write a ballad about how you and your ex were the king and the queen of the prom, how the two of you married right after high school, and how it all went to hell from there.

Bonus points if your names happen to be Brenda and Eddie.

2. That’s quite a moment.

Me,

in a horrid realization,

in the back of my 92 Camaro,

while icing that knee I blew out at the championship game senior year,

reading through the divorce papers.

1. Nothing new to talk about.

Some of the popular girls from high school still get together very frequently, and you see updates of it on facebook. I also keep in touch with some friends from high school, and I think that that’s nice. However, one of those friends of mine once ran into them during one of their get-together. He said hi and happened to be sitting not too far from them at the bar.

He said that all they did for the whole night, was talk about high school. They looked up old classmates on Facebook, laughed at them, called them names, looked at their spouses and called them names too. They still thought themselves the popular kids, as if they still had some sort of influence on all these people. Everyone has moved on, done interesting things in their life except for them. They’re just rehashing old drama and old rumors.

One of those girls had a small bit of success as a photographer in high school. She won a couple contests that were aimed at teenagers and her photos aren’t bad. Her parents turned this into a very big deal, her friends all wanted to be in her photos, and she was dead set on going to art school and getting the recognition she deserved. I don’t know if she never made it into art school or if she dropped out, but she definitely did not become a photographer. Instead, you see her launching some new startup business selling asinine live-laugh-love shit about once a year.

I know high school wasn’t golden for me!

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