Category: ask reddit

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11 Times Birthdays Did Not Go According to Plan and Went off the Rails

Birthdays are supposed to be great celebrations! I mean, that’s when you were born… and as a kid your birthday is essentially the biggest day of the year.

But… we’re not all that lucky. Some folks get completely shafted. These Reddit users were brave enough to share their sad birthday stories with the rest of us.

1. I would be SO angry!

Last year I was unemployed at the time of my birthday.

My friends and I made plans to actually go out and do something. The day before my birthday I got called to an interview where they told me I had a job. They wanted me to start the next day. So I cancelled my plans, went out and bought some work clothes and showed up for my first day of work. When I arrived, I found that there were 6 other girls there and that we were actually being interviewed again and that we would do a day of “training”. It then came out that only 2 people would leave with jobs.

Our “training” consisted of us doing 5 hours worth of kitchen labour. At the end of the day 2 girls were chosen and everyone else walked away jobless.

I was not one of those girls and I wasted my birthday on unpaid work.

2. Super!

My Birthday is at the very end of January. So often this coincides with the Super Bowl.

16th birthday was going to be a Super Bowl party. Gave out a ton of invites, paper and verbal. Had a bunch of people say they would swing by either for the whole thing or for the first half. Blah Blah Blah.

Put out snacks, had the game on the big screen. Only had two people show up and they didn’t even come inside. They just dropped off a small cake on their way to a different Super Bowl party.

At halftime I finally gave up hope that anyone else was showing up and told my mom to put the snacks away as I was going to bed.

3. Oh, get over it

It was my 19th birthday.

I was living in the dorms, and my friends got together and decided to give me a surprise party. This included them going out of their way to not see me all day, to avoid telling me happy birthday. All of my friends ignored me for the entire day, only to call me down to one of their rooms at 11:00 PM. I was getting ready for bed, ready to put the whole crappy day behind me. Instead I have to go down there to find them all drinking. They didn’t understand why that was not exactly a fun experience.

4. Face plant

I don’t remember exactly which birthday it was, I think 9th or 10th, we were all set to go to Chuck E Cheese with some friends and their parents for my birthday.

I was out in the yard with my friends playing with skate boards until it was time to leave for the pizza party. One of my shoe laces came undone, went under the wheel of the skateboard I was riding on and it pulled me down and I face planted into the sidewalk and took a good chunk if not all of the skin off my nose. Bloodied and crying, we still went to Chuck E Cheese.

I felt so insecure with this big bloodied scar of a nose while we were out in public.

5. Get better friends

For my 19th birthday, I organized a party at a friend’s house with tons of booze and tons of snacks. My ARMY buddy whose house it was at even procured Everclear for the Jungle Juice. I invited pretty much everyone I knew and told them to invite their friends.

One friend showed up.

Six years later, I tried again. I organized a “taste tripping” party where you take these Miracle Berry tablets that change the way your tongue tastes food (sour tastes sweet). I had a bunch of different foods on a platter for people to try tasting. Again, I invited everyone I knew.

Only one friend and his girlfriend showed up.

I’ve decided to stop throwing birthday parties.

6. Broke friends

Well, it was my 18th, and my first after starting university.

Throughout high school, I was fairly well off and was usually pretty generous. I talked to all my friends and they all wanted to come until I mentioned they might have to kick in half for their dinner. All bailed except one, who got depressed and cancelled. My World of Warcraft guild got together and sent me a tray of muffins and a timecard. Its always a crappy day when the only people who even pretend to care on your birthday are people who you’ve never met in real life.

Thank you, <The Muffin Kings>, for caring.

7. Series of unfortunate events

My 20th birthday.

I woke up at 8am, went to class in the crappy cold rain. When I got there and found out class was cancelled I was pretty bummed, especially since I had no ride home for three hours.

Next my sister takes me out to lunch where we find out our grandfather has to have emergency open heart surgery. Awesome. After that mess I went to see my now ex-girlfriend at school because she refused to drive home to see me.

We go out to dinner, she doesn’t have money because she spent it all on booze earlier in the week. I have to pay for my own dinner. Next we go back to her dorm room for some birthday sexy time, but instead we have a talk and she breaks up with me.

Worst birthday I’ve ever had.

8. Well that’s sad!

My birthday usually came a week after my first report card, and I got punished as a result with either no birthday, or a “bitter birthday” with just me and my parents, who would stare at me disappointedly. Or my mother was drunk, and would forget.

My birthdays since then have been pretty good, though.

9. …I just can’t

On my 22nd birthday, my housemates girlfriend insisted we go out. She kept badgering me about it until I named a local place that was semi-expensive, I also said Chilis. She kept pushing for the more expensive place insisting it was my special day.

We got there, she looked at the menus and immediately threw a fit, complaining she couldn’t afford anything. When her boyfriend attempted to buy her meal, she declined him multiple times, and refused to share his as a compromise.

For the rest of the night we ate in silence interrupted by her complaining about hunger pangs and how anyone could afford the place she had insisted we all go to.

10. Shit rolls downhill

16th birthday, I woke up to my parents fighting.

They didn’t even remember it was my birthday. Then my best friend, who happened to be the girl I was madly in love with stopped by to tell me goodbye as she was moving to Texas with her family.

I told her I liked her before but on that day I was going to tell her how I feel and ask her out.

When I got back from saying goodbye, my dad was packing his stuff and they told me they were getting divorced.

11. Like dominos…

I was really excited for my 19th birthday.

I was going to have lunch with my girlfriend, hang out with my friends after, and end the evening with pizza at my parents home. The girlfriends mum picks me up (no car at the time because I was living with the girlfriend and paying rent) and we go down to her university and she has to pick up some books so we go to the bookstore and she kills 2 hours in lines and shopping for clothing. Not all the books were bought so we went to an off campus bookstore. Another hour or so in line. I text my friends and cancel our plans.

We then go to The Olive Garden and she spends the whole time talking to her mum about something that the mum’s most recent boyfriend did. Started chatting up the server and mentioned it was my birthday to her and SHE wished me a happy birthday. Girlfriend looked at me puzzled. She had forgotten it. It’s now 8 pm and we are driving home. I’m in the backseat and I call my parents and tell them that I’ll be home soon. There’s an accident down the road on. My parents call me and ask where I am. I tell them to eat without me. 3 hours later we are out of the traffic jam and I go to my parents home and cry.

Broke up with her a few weeks later because she was cheating on me (for months now) and I was still salty about her forgetting my birthday and ruining that day.

What did you think? Have a story that can top some of these?

You know what to do… let us know in the comments!

The post 11 Times Birthdays Did Not Go According to Plan and Went off the Rails appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share When Random Folks Gave Way Too Much Information

I get it that some people are just awkward. Or nervous. Or strange. Or uncomfortable in social situations.

But even if they do fall into any of those categories, it would be nice if they kept odd/bizarre/downright creepy stories to themselves.

These aren’t ice breakers, people!

Folks on AskReddit talked about situations where people shared WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

1. I get it…but…

“Cashier at St. Louis Bread Co. informing me she’s on her period and flowing very heavily.

I get it, I’m a fellow woman, but damn. Its a restaurant.”

2. We won’t be coming back.

“A while ago, my now-wife (then, my fiance) and I were preparing to get married here in Austin.

We spent several Sundays visiting some of the churches in the area that might serve as the ceremony venue to get a feel for them.

We visited one beautiful, fairly large, older church near downtown. At the appropriate time in the service, the minister/priest, an older gentleman – roughly late 60s-ish, started giving an odd sermon about tithing and how the parishioners had been letting the church down and in a way they were stealing from God by not giving enough. It was a bit of a strange one. And it didn’t seem well-constructed and thought out; much more on-the-fly than sermons I was used to.

Anyway, after about 10 minutes of this, he wrapped up and asked everyone to bow their heads for prayer then immediately walked off the stage and started walking down the aisle. My wife and I were about 2/3 of the way back and in an empty row – the service was not particularly well-attended. I’m thinking to myself, “Well, that was kind of a weird… What’s he doing? He’s heading toward us… Oh. God…”

While the congregation was still mid-group prayer, he walked to our row and then slid all the way in until he was right next to me. Everyone was watching him (and now us) as they “Our Fathered” (or whatever it was). We finished the prayer and then sat down for the offering and a song. He then leaned over and whispered, “Good morning.” We shook hands and he continued, “I wanted to let you know that I just had a mental breakdown up there a moment ago.”

“Oh… Hey… That’s alright! I… thought it was… great!” I stammered in reply.

“You’re kind, but no. I’m kind of falling apart. I saw you two come in and recognized you were new. I didn’t want you to take that sermon as typical of our congregation… I have to get going. It was a pleasure meeting you both,” and he got up and walked right out the back door.

We didn’t choose that church.”

3. An interesting choice.

“Me, sits down for my lunch break at work. Random coworker comes and sits down and says to me, “so I’ve been watching cartoon monster porn”.

4. Wasn’t ready for that one.

“Starbucks barista here. I was working the drive thru and some lady comes in asking for an iced coffee with heavy cream.

I pay it no mind as it’s not even close to my weirdest order. She gets to the window and starts trying to explain the motifs behind getting this drink. “By the way, I’m not getting this for the caffeine. I’m constipated.”

Whatever still hasn’t phased me, I’m used to weird shit like this. She continued, “I tried an enema two days ago and that bullshit didn’t work at all!”

That’s where I had to stop and go to the back to breathe, I was not ready for that.”

5. Mortified.

“My coworker went into great detail (including a hand drawn diagram) about how constipated she was after one of her c-sections.

She said she was so uncomfortable that she asked her husband to try to dig some of the poo out of her butt with his finger. So she put a towel down on the bed, laid on her side, and he got to work. After some successful digging she rolled over and noticed a butter knife on the bedside table and asked what it was doing there to which he responded “well, it was too hard for my fingers”.

We are nurses, she told this story at the desk to a group of at least 5 people. We were all mortified.”

6. Let’s have a talk.

“My coworker told me that he has had flare ups of gonorrhea over 30 times, he has herpes, and god knows what else.

He said he can’t remember how many times he’s had a q-tip swab in his penis hole. He doesn’t believe me that I’ve never had an STD and is constantly bringing it up.

I don’t know what compels this man to constantly talk about STDs but he must have a forest fire going on down there.”

7. Mom talk.

“Chatting with another mom at the park.

Now we can chat about some pretty weird things. Like, discussing your kids pooping habits would be a normal conversation. Even to some extent discussing how things are going the bedroom isn’t that weird.

But I’ve had some weird things other moms have confided to me. The one that stands out was a mom who confessed she was a closeted lesbian, in a loveless marriage who has a huge crush on her teenage son’s girlfriend.

It got even weirder too.”

8. Google my name.

“Years ago, I lived in Florida. My girlfriend (now wife) and I went to a Chili’s one night to get some drinks with her co-workers. After they left, we went back inside to the bar for one more drink because it was still early and we lived nearby. This older guy walks in and sits down a few stools away from us and immediately starts giving us some lighthearted shit about football, then notices my girlfriend typing something on her phone. Within 60 seconds of meeting us, he decided to drop this:

“Oh, you like looking things up on them phones huh? Google my name.”

We Google his name and the first result is a news article that names him as the victim of an attempted murder-suicide by his wife. She shot him in the head, then shot herself in the head right after. She died, he didn’t. Police came after a call of shots fired, they found him unconscious but alive, medflighted him to a hospital and he woke up later that day.

And that was his icebreaker story!”

9. This is sad.

“About 1-2 years ago, I worked in a clothing store. One day, an elderly lady came in to our store. I asked her if she wanted some help and she said yes. We found what she was looking for and she left afterwards. All good.

She came in again about a week later and looked around the store. After a while, she started talking to me. Now, I’m a pretty open person and a good listener, but I definetly felt like she crossed a line when she told me about the time she was pregnant and her ex-husband kicked her in the stomach and killed their baby. I felt sad for her, but we’d only chatted 1-2 times before, so for her to be telling me this made me feel very uncomfortable; especially since she talked to me like we were long-time friends.”

10. A turn for the worse.

“I met a professional acquaintance at a friend’s show one night. We knew each other vaguely, having met a couple of times, so we started having small talk. The guy obviously had gotten one too many beers, and felt it was a great time to tell me all about his “dumb moves” from his early adulthood, how his fiancée cheated on him with his best friend and how he became an alcoholic. Alright. Definitely awkward, but manageable so far.

It took a turn for the worse when he suddenly felt comfortable enough to describe, in details, how he and his friends had raped a teenage boy that was black out drunk. The acquaintance and his friends were drunk and thought it would be fun to do that while the boy was literally unconscious and unresponsive. I noped the fuck out of the conversation right after that and hope I’ll never run into him again.”

11. Possessed.

“My super religious ex-girlfriend from college told me that she had been possessed by a demon.

It was about a year after we started dating. She was one of the most honest people I’ve ever met, someone who just couldn’t lie. I knew from the moment she told me this that she genuinely believed she’d been possessed. I kind of shrugged it off and tried not to ever address it…. and then I met her family.

On the first day I met them, the subject came up and I just couldn’t avoid it no matter how hard I tried. It turned out that she’d “sinned” by giving up her virginity (before we met) and this allowed the demon to possess her. They even had a name for the demon, which I can’t remember, but it was supposedly the name she’d always wanted to give to her future first-born son. The family had their pastor – who I would later learn had no pastoral training, no seminary schooling, etc. – come to their house to perform an “exorcism.” Long story short, this presumably freed her of the demon.

I continued dating her for another year or so after this. Any time we became intimate, she would be all into it, and then afterwards she would be terrified that she had possibly opened the door to let the demon back in.

Here’s my theory about what really happened, although I never got any confirmation on it. Within minutes of meeting her family, it became clear that this was a “truth-telling” family. They were honest and open about everything to an uncomfortable degree. It was almost as if she was raised to believe that lying was the greatest sin of all, right up there with fornication. So when she lost her virginity, she was so ashamed that she would just stay quiet about the whole thing so that she wouldn’t have to sin twice by lying about it. When she was confronted about it, instead of admitting it she would stay silent about it.

The family went to their pastor and explained the situation. This charlatan convinced them that this was a case of possession, and only through confession could she be released of the demon. I think the whole “exorcism” thing was just an elaborate ploy by the pastor to get her to confess to losing her virginity, which she did, and they were all brainwashed into thinking this was a successful exorcism of demonic possession.

I’m no psychologist, so I could be way off-base here. It’s just my best guess based on everything I was able to piece together.”

12. Liar!

“I brought it on myself. On 21st this month I was at a family meet. I started talking to a younger cousin who has seemed off & aloof for sometime & in a shitty job for someone as smart & ‘educated’. After pressing for a time, he swore me to secrecy & told me that he did not get his degree in Dec 2017 coz he had been suspended by the university for a displinary issue. His parents have no idea.

We held 2 graduation parties for him with significance gifts. He had a gown & his parents were in the graduation square very happy for him. Nobody cared to confirm. He said he has resolved the issue with the Uni senate & will get his degree at end of year 2020. I suspect he could be on alcohol/drugs & keeping the secret for 2 years might have changed the course of his life. I have not told anyone.”

13. A bit off…

“Training a new hire at my old job. Guy was a bit off, but that was pretty much the standard for where we were working.

Giving him a tour of the facilities, describing his job duties…

He let’s me know that his dad “blew his brains out”.

By the end of my two years of working with him, I sympathized with his dad.”

14. WAY too much information.

“First conversation with the new co-worker.

Me: Hey, what do you like to do outside of work?

Him: I see a psychiatrist once a week because I’m dealing with severe depression. When I was 13 my grandpa shot himself in the head in front of me and it fucked me up.

Me: …

Me: I play video games.”

15. Nice to meet you, too!

“First time I met my husband’s grandmother, I asked “how are you?”

And she replied “I am ready to die”.”

Well, that was TMI all over the place. Yikes!

Do you have a story like this? Or have you ever shared WAYYYY too much?

Let us know in the comments!

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People Talk About the Hobbies They Keep Secret From Family and Friends

Why do some of us keep secrets from the people we love? I guess it all boils down to the fact that we think we’ll be judged and no one likes that…so we keep things that are important to us to ourselves.

Or maybe we just like to have things that are ours and ours alone in this chaotic and often confusing life.

Either way, here are responses from AskReddit users who have hidden hobbies that they keep secret from their loved ones.

1. Origami master.

“I create little origami cranes whenever I have the chance. A lot of the time in school I’ll find a piece of scrap paper and so I’ll rip it into a square and fold up a little intricate paper crane, and then I’ll put it somewhere and see how long it will last before being found. A few of my friends know about it, but that’s it. My goal is to put these cranes in enough strange places that people start noticing and they’ll wonder what the fuck is going on.

I’ve managed to hide a few on top of speakers mounted to the wall, I’ve put some on top of an overhead projector, I hide them on random chairs, I’ve hid about 6 inside the piano (easily retrievable) so that if anyone opens the lid they’ll see them. I’ve put them on top of school computers and inside science equipment cabinets, on top of shelves and amongst textbooks. I even managed to get one into the teachers bag. It’s funny how people don’t notice them, they’re hidden in plain sight.”

2. Nice work!

“I have written two books. I am currently writing a third.

2 are self-help books and one fiction. I haven’t even told my fiancé about these and the one I’m currently working on is “How not to flip your sh*t while planning a wedding.” Working title but you get the drift. I’ll never publish them, just helps me work through all the thoughts in my head.”

3. Do what makes you happy.

“Online roleplay.

Normally not erotic but super in depth role play about fictional worlds and the adventure I have with people I normally don’t meet. I’ve made friends from thus and it’s fun. It may not be the weirdest but its abnormal at most.”

4. Doing it for fun.

“Programming.

I feel like they would expect me to become the next big thing or something while I just want to make funny little games to troll my friends.”

5. Growing into yourself.

“Fashion and makeup.

Growing up, I went through a Tomboy phase. Regret it quite a lot. I was always seen as someone who didn’t like fashion and didn’t wear makeup. Now that I am becoming more comfortable with myself, I am experimenting with these things and I quite like them.”

6. Not just for the kids.

“I’m a mom who’s close to 50. I really like playing Fortnite.

Maybe that’s not so weird, but in my social circles hardly any women play video games let alone one that is popular with kids the same ages as my children.”

7. A songwriter.

“Song writing.

Only people who are closest have a clue that I write songs sometimes. And now all you strangers know. So in a way, you guys are closer to me than my family.”

8. Hey, it’s cool.

“Collecting action figures.”

9. You’re making art.

“I make teeth out of clay.”

10. Urban explorer.

“I’m really onto urban exploration and gaining access to abandoned or long forgotten spaces.

It’s not all that dangerous per se, but can be precarious. And if my folks knew I would never hear the end of it.”

11. That’s an interesting habit.

“Lockpicking. It’s therapeutic and very gratifying.

No one’s gonna know because I want to avoid being a target whenever they misplace something.”

12. Sexy!

“I write erotica stories for myself.

But the system I have in place is so convoluted and bizarre I can’t let any the people in my life know about it.”

13. An unusual hobby.

“I’ve started getting more into witchcraft-type stuff. Not because I think magic is a real thing, obviously, but because I like the wildness of it and the way it changes my perspective on things. And at the end of the day, what harm does it do to set an intention to boost the calming effect of some tea, or consult a tarot deck to help you think through a problem, or smudge a house to set your mind at ease?

The reason I keep a lid on all this is because my boyfriend is pretty judgemental when it comes to people who claim to do “real” witchcraft because he thinks they’re all science-rejecting hacks. I just don’t want to deal with it, because I know he’d immediately jump to that conclusion and I have to work to convince him that no, I don’t think it’s the planets’ fault for all my problems, and yes, I know these are just harmless little rituals that only have an affect in my mind.”

14. Just here to watch.

“I watch and follow a lot of vegan lifestyle bloggers on YT.

I don’t and have never had any interest in going vegan.”

15. That’s a good thing to know.

“I study plumbing!

No one would expect a 22 year old female to have any interest, but I just find it so fascinating.

Especially pool, jacuzzi, and wave pool/waterpark mechanics.”

I actually thought a lot of these were really cool and interesting.

How about you? What were your faves? Or do you have anything to share yourself?

Let us know in the comments!

The post People Talk About the Hobbies They Keep Secret From Family and Friends appeared first on UberFacts.

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These Films Would Have Totally Different Plots If You Removed a Single Letter From Their Titles

Someone on Reddit asked: if you removed a single letter from a film title, how would that change the plot?

If you’re in the mood for random, well, these 14 Redditors bring it in spades.

14. That IS sad.

Aging Bull

The sad story of an elderly bovine

13. Sounds like the perfect plot for a sequel.

Dude, Here’s My Car. After a crazy night, Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott decide to leave their place, only to find that the car is exactly where they had parked it the previous day.

12. Sounds like a snoozefest.

Casio Royale

Almost 3 hours of nothing but piano and synthesizer performances.

11. This is GOLD.

Cath Me if you Can. An aging Leo is stuck in a retirement home, and spends his day evading the nurses’ attempts to locate him and apply his catheter.

10. Too much like reality, methinks.

Irates of the Caribbean.

A family with anger issues takes a vacation to various caribbean islands and wreak havoc as everything causes them to throw a raging fit.

9. Well isn’t that a nice little fit.

Mr. & Mrs. Sith

A force wielding husband and wife try to get along in modern day Milwaukee.

8. Oh em gee stahp.

28 Ays Later: The Fonz Strikes Back

7. I could actually see this working.

Land Before Tim – A retrospective about the world before the birth of Tim.

6. Those are fairly odd details, but okay.

Sven Samurai – A poor village under attack by bandits recruits Sven, a recently retired Ikea cashier, as a samurai to help them defend themselves.

5. Coming soon to Discovery.

Tar Wars. The story of the intense rivalry between road work contractors.

4. Or, you know. What the rest of us were thinking.

A New Hoe

Luke Skywalker gets a new tool for farming.

3. Oscar-worthy, for sure.

Need for seed. Old farmer travels the land in search for seeds to save his farm and lives of his hungry family.

2. Take my money.

Finding Neo

A Matrix franchise reboot

1. A story of accepting your gas?

One With The Wind – A man finally accepts and learns to live with the wind

I’m not sure I would be clever enough to come up with something like this, even if had days to think about it!

What would your contribution be? Hit us with it in the comments!

The post These Films Would Have Totally Different Plots If You Removed a Single Letter From Their Titles appeared first on UberFacts.

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Divorced People Share the Moment They Realized Their Marriage Was Over

Marriage is supposed to be forever, but it doesn’t often work out that way.

Sometimes with divorces, there’s a slow, tortuous buildup to the end with enough drama and/or introspection to fill a few diaries cover to cover. Then there are those marriages where everything combusts in a moment, like it did in most of these 19 stories from various Reddit threads.

Hopefully at least one fun divorce party was had after these proceedings!

1. Broiled was given lots of red flags.

Probably when I returned home and found all the furniture, food and my wife missing.

Another hint was the empty bank account.

2. Then shouldn’t cdc194 and his ex be going to hell for divorcing?

She wasn’t religious when we met, 10 years later she told me I was going to hell for believing in dinosaurs.

3. Buckaroo_Banzai_ just wanted a new shirt.

My wife put on 170 lbs over 10 years. I never said anything and supported her attempts at weight loss.

One day I was trying on an old Steelers jersey that didn’t fit, because I had gained 15 lbs in 10 years. I said, “Well, i guess it’s time to buy a bigger jersey.” her response:

“We’re not blowing money on a stupid jersey. You’ll just have to lose weight.”

Fucking

Done

4. Metyuadem saw the demise of two relationships at once. What a show.

When I came home to find her sister’s husband naked in my bed.

5. Nobody likes taking the bus, but this person’s ex could’ve kept that thought to herself.

On my 6th birthday I got a dog named Ace, an absolutely beautiful golden retriever chow mix that was my only friend throughout a very lonely elementary-middle school life.

My parents called me one day in July of 2009 while I was at work (I was stationed in my hometown after a few tours) telling me they were taking him to be put down because he was having some terrible medical problems and in pain.

I asked my Top if I could go and he threw me out of the office, on the way towards my folks house I called my wife at work (DQ) crying hysterically about it. I told her that she will have to either take the bus home or have her mother take her.

The bus was a straight route and would take 15 minutes, and her mom lived between her work and our house so it would be no hassle anyway.

Cut the story short, she starts screaming at me for caring more about a “stupid fucking dog” than her having to take the bus home, I hung up and that was it. I never kissed or hugged her again.

6. If Raven2002 wasn’t that hurt by his friend, he needs better friends.

I came home early from work because of a migraine. Found him in bed with my best friend.

Oddly, I was more hurt by her behavior than his.

Broomed them both that day.

7. GoingBackToKPax takes things literally.

The last straw? The one they kept snorting coke with.

8. This person’s ex was very upfront about their opinions/forcing them on other people.

When he said ‘okay, I won’t force you into converting anymore, but I’m going to pressure you a little bit and talk a lot about my religion to you so that you’ll accept the truth eventually’.

At least there was honesty involved in this failed conversion.

10. Molunkusmol delivered a great comeback on such short notice.

I suspected my then husband of cheating, so I followed him. I went to the house where he was and saw him outside with a little boy. I was angry and asked (not meaning it), “Who is that – your son?” He said, “Yes.”

Yikes – surprise – he had another family! Time to split! My response, “I don’t ever want to see you again. On your deathbed will be too soon.”

11. _Blood_Fart_ is familiar with the adventures of the sea.

After having sex, her lover would wipe his “nut” on my pillow.

Came home from work and laid right in it 2 times. She claimed I drooled in my sleep.

I know the taste of seamen, she could not fool me.

12. It’d be interesting to know how often 1angrydad consumes this fruit now.
Bananas.

We were grocery shopping, and I pick up a bunch of bananas and she immediately started in with “Why are you getting bananas?! You’re not going to eat them, put them back! Right now!”

Literally yelling at me and berating me in public for bananas.

When we got back to the house, I told her I was done.

One too many crazy episodes for me.

13. Shakeyjake discovered the power of writing.

When I sat down and wrote down all my life’s goals and ambitions and realized that when I imagined my happiest self in the future it didn’t include her.

14. It’s shocking that noisycat’s husband was shocked.

My husband informed me he was moving the girl he had been having an affair with into our house.

He wasn’t divorcing me – he fully expected I’d be passive enough to accept it.

According to his friends and family, he was “shocked” I left.

15. Zinere could’ve ended up without the dog, which would’ve been worse.

When she dropped me off on a major highway in Florida with no cell, no money, my dog and a bag of clothes that is when I made the choice this woman’s getting a divorce.

16. Was_creative_once shouldn’t be so modest about his math skills.

Came home from a seven month deployment overseas to a five month pregnant wife. I’m no mathematician but I figured that one out

Putting two and two together can be hard sometimes.

17. Emodius and his ex had different ideas about work.

Ex wife said “You should get a second job”. I’m like, “Bitch, you should get a first job”. I knew.

18. DidymusNoble doesn’t understand the importance of cat food.

My dad left a passive aggressive note about not leaving a can of cat food in the fridge. My Mom confronted him about the tone of the note.

A fight ensued, Dad tried to escape to his man cave, Mom made the mistake of barging in to continue the fight while he was trying to calm down, Dad erupted in 25 years worth of pent up rage.

A can of cat food…

19. It’s unclear what WHATS_WITH planned to do with the one breast implant.

The day she showed up with a boob job and new boyfriend.

I wanted to sue for the right one, but my lawyer didn’t like that idea. I wanted my half!

Presumably he intended to do nothing fruitful with the fake boob.

Well, that was something I’ll never forget. What a bunch of insane stories!

Do you have one that you want to share? Do it in the comments!

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People Share the Things They’d Sell If They Ran an “Inconvenience Store”

Here’s a question: if you were tasked to run an “inconvenience store”, what kind of things would you sell?

Yes, it’s a totally absurd question, but it’s also a lot of fun!

Here are the clever answers from AskReddit users.

1. That’s pretty annoying.

“Erasers that smear.”

2. Try reaching that one!

“Back pain medication is on the bottle shelf and shoved all the way in the back.”

3. VERY inconvenient.

“I’m a regular convenience store but I can only do 1 item per transaction. The process must be restarted for every item and you must pay individually for the items.”

4. A total crapshoot.

“Any clear liquid you could possibly ever need… Water, rum, vinegar, brake cleaner, you name it. All on the same shelf, all in identical plastic bottles, all unlabeled. You open it, you buy it.”

5. Now you’re in trouble.

“We have everything, just not the brand your spouse was expecting.”

6. Oh, great…

“It’s not what I sell, its when I am open (Tuesday to Friday from 9am to 10.30am).”

7. Infuriating.

“Earbuds but they’re at the stage where they only work at a certain angle.”

8. All the good stuff.

“Opened bags of snacks. Last week’s newspapers. Expired condoms.”

9. You’re really gambling at this store.

“Food that is always 1 day away from expiring. Also there will literally be no price tags anywhere so you have no idea what you are going to pay.”

10. Noooooooooo.

“Hotdogs in 12 packs and buns in 10 packs.”

11. Good luck with that.

“Earrings with no backs to them.”

12. I’ll take 150, please.

“Individually packed m&ms.”

13. Can you spare a square?

“Single sheets of toilet paper- limit one per transaction.”

14. Dancing with the devil.

“Mints and laxatives that look exactly the same.”

15. This person is not messing around.

“Pens with chewed ends.

Pencils with erasers rubbed to the nub.

Scissors where the center scree that holds the two pieces together is slightly loose.

A mini stapler, and individual packs of staples that are too big to fit into the stapler tray so you have to preak them in half.

Those erasers that leave a black streak on your paper.

Notebook paper that’s actually just blank paper eith free-handed drawn lines.

Notebooks with the metal spiral already spiralled halfway out.

Binders where you have to open each hoop individually.

Kiwi flavored jello.”

Okay, that was quite a ride!

What would you sell if you ran this store? Let us know in the comments!

The post People Share the Things They’d Sell If They Ran an “Inconvenience Store” appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Pieces of Advice That Might Save You a Lot of Money

When it comes to saving money, every little bit of advice helps. We can all be smarter with our finances, so it’s time to keep your mouth shut and your ears open.

People on AskReddit weighed in with their advice.

1. Avoid them at all costs.

“Don’t use credit cards.

Unless you know you’re one of those people that will pay the bill off completely at the end of every month and want to take advantage of the rewards.

Even then… don’t use them.”

2. Check Amazon first.

“That thing you want might be way cheaper on Amazon.

You never know unless you search. It takes two minutes.”

3. Take this one to heart.

“Work like an adult, live like a college student.”

4. Don’t spend it.

“If you are lucky enough to receive a substantial inheritance, DON’T SPEND A DIME OF IT (unless you owe the mob some money and your legs are about to have a rough encounter with a baseball bat).

Seriously. I got about 10k from an inheritance while I was a senior in high school. I blew through it in less than a year. Most of it went towards cigarettes, pot, alcohol, other non essentials, etc. All I really have to show from it is my laptop.

Now I’m a sophomore in college and working a shitty job, donating plasma, and participating in research studies monthly just so I can make rent payments and pay off shitty internet service. I can’t even imagine how much easier my life would be if I had just saved that money or even invested some of it so help me out in the future.”

5. Not for everyone.

“For the youngins: Really think about if you want to go to college. It’s not for everyone.

There’s a lot of opportunities in the skilled trades now if you’re into one of them.

College can put you into major debt, so make sure you want to make the investment beforehand.”

6. Some good tips.

“Housing and food / eating out will eat a lot of budget if you let them. Live within your means.

Don’t get payday loans. Ever. Credit card interest will eat you alive if you make minimum payments, so if you must let a balance float, pay it off the next month.

Get a cheap but affordable car. You don’t need a $30k car. A $15k car will do, if you must by new. Appropriate tires will be cheaper than paying insurance deductibles or increased premiums if you live somewhere with weather. If you can take public transportation, you can save a lot by doing that instead of getting car in the first place.

Alcohol at a bar is very expensive. Buy Cards Against Humanity and have a guest bring a bottle of rum.

Save for a rainy day, even a little, every month or pay period.”

7. This will pay off when you’re older.

“Brush your teeth. Taking good care of your teeth will save you a shit ton of money.”

8. Don’t be a lead foot.

“Drive the speed limit and buckle your safety belt. It costs me $120 a month in car insurance for a 12 year-old Prius because I had a lead foot in my younger days.

Now I have a bad catalytic converter and my car is physically unable to exceed the speed limit. I haven’t received a ticket in two years & my insurance rates have flat-lined.”

9. Avoid the big-name companies.

“Instead of getting your taxes done with a big-name company, use a Mom-and-Pop company that has had the same owners for years.”

10. It’s pretty expensive.

“Learn to relax after work without drugs or alcohol.”

11. STOP.

“Just stop buying shit. Seriously, stop it. Look how much fucking junk you have that you don’t need and have never needed. Look how much of it was never any use or any fun.

Stop caving in to advertising and marketing and learn to stop buying garbage.”

12. Things won’t be as appealing.

“Go grocery shopping after you’ve eaten.”

13. Fund your fun.

“Get some kind of marketable skill in your twenties. A trade. An IT skill. Even if it is not your dream job. Then put time in doing it. It gives you something you can use to build income value on, by building experience in your field.

It might not be fun, but it will FUND your fun. That’s what jobs do.

Not many jobs are fun after 10 or 20 years, even if they were your dream job.

That’s why the call them jobs, not hobbies.”

14. As simple as that.

“Quit buying shit you don’t need with money you don’t have.”

15. And then there’s this…

“Men: Always wear a condom Women: Take your birth control every day.

There. Money and sanity saved.”

So… did you learn anything? Pick up any handy tips?

What about your own tips? Got some you’d like to share?

Let us know in the comments!

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People Reveal the Darkest Family Secrets They Ever Discovered

My family happens to be pretty tame, to the point where I was always a little surprised when my friends told me stories about their crazy parents. Growing up, I never understood quite how lucky I was to have a boring family – at least until I had already moved out.

And after reading these 13 AskReddit users stories about their family’s deep dark secrets only serves to reaffirm me.

Because THEY CRAY!

1.  NAZIS!

“I married this woman a few years ago.

After dating her a while, I could tell there was something strange about her family. She claimed that she didn’t know what part of the world her ancestors were from, didn’t know where her last name came from, her parents had blonde hair and blue eyes, but had Latino accents. I later found out their first language was Portuguese and they were from Brazil.

Anyway, about a year after we were married, she sat down with me and explained that her grandparents were avid Nazis who fled to Brazil just before the war ended. She obviously didn’t like for people to know this, and had a hard time finding a way to tell me. I didn’t really care. I told her that I loved her for who she was and it didn’t matter who her grandparents were, all that mattered was who she was.

Anyway, it seemed important for her that I meet her relatives in Brazil, and apparently, her parents went there to visit every few years. So we planned the most bizarre trip of my life. When you first arrive, nothing seems off about the colony. They speak Portuguese and German, they have jobs, they drive cars, they don’t stand out in any way except that they look different than other Brazilians. The colony is isolated, and the few locals who are around don’t seem to care of really quite grasp what’s going on.

But once you start talking to people, you realize that they are deeply disturbed and have a deep-seated hatred for anyone who is different from them, especially Jews. I remember one conversation I had with her great uncle, a man who, I kid you not, had a Hitler mustache.

‘If you are going to be a part of this family you have to understand what we are planning. This is not some sad, little nursing home for the Nazi way of life to die, it is merely an incubator.’”

2. Angry Venting

“Found out through an angry vent given by my mother, that most of my cousins aren’t legitimate, and most of my aunts had lied to their husbands about the true father of their children.

Also found out that there was a very large niche of the family I had never met and that no one really admits to – because they’re all inbred.”

3. Premarital Sex

“When I first started dating my girlfriend, I was invited to her very conservative Catholic parents’ 25th wedding anniversary party.

I was hanging out with her and her 24-year-old older brother afterwords, and she was talking about how her mom found her birth control earlier that week and lectured her about how wrong premarital sex was (we weren’t having sex). I quick did some mental math and said, ‘She shouldn’t talk since your brother’s birthday is in 5 months.’

They both looked at me with a crazy amount of shock on their faces. They had never figured that out.”

4. Postmortem

“My grandmother’s cousin married a man she met in college. They had a daughter and were married for maybe 40 years. 3 years ago, he passed with cancer. We were not shocked at this. After all, he was approaching 70 and had a bad form of cancer, and it was spreading fast. We were prepared for this.

What we weren’t prepared for was that after he passed, his wife found a journal of his which explained that for 35 years, he was having a another relationship with a man.

It was a shock to all of us. He was so committed to his wife, that he never left. But at the same time, it must have killed him to stay silent for such a long time.”

5. “Piece of crap award”

“Thought my parents divorced just as a mutual agreement but my father had an affair. He was a cop and slept with his partner’s wife. Up there for biggest piece of crap award. I was 6-years-old when this all happened, 19 now and just found out a couple months ago.

Father also hates me because I decided to get out of the Army after breaking both of my legs at airborne school. Found out he got out of the Marines for having flat feet that hurt. Aunt (his sister) told me that he drove from Georgia to Florida every weekend because he hated his time in the Marines so much. Tries to tell me I am a wuss and disowned me.”

6. WTF Moments

“A long time ago, back when I was still in middle school my mom’s best friend died. She wouldn’t tell me how she died. Only that it was sudden. When I asked why we weren’t going to the funeral she told me that there wouldn’t be one because ‘her body was being donated to science.’

I didn’t ask any more questions. That was the last time we ever talked about her.

Well, five months ago my mom handed me her phone to find the number for Domino’s and as I’m scrolling through her contacts I come across the phone number of the dead best friend. Biggest WTF moment of my life. The next day I called it from a pay phone at Waffle House and she picked up. I instantly recognized the voice and accent. She’s not dead. Second biggest WTF moment of my life.”

7. You got the hook-up

“My mom was born in Colombia and moved to the U.S. when she was 12. I never knew much about her family, and was told multiple variations of sugar coated stories by other family members whenever I tried to find out more about my family history.

I was already aware that the Italian side of my family (paternal) had ties to the mob in NJ and eventually moved to Miami where my parents would eventually meet. Through Google, I also found out that my grandfather was a snitch, ended up in the witness protection program after being implicated in a murder and being indicted for selling massive amounts of cocaine. Ok, I thought, I can deal with that knowledge. Crappy about the coke, but maybe my mom’s side wasn’t so bad?

Thanks to ancestry websites and Google, I soon discovered multiple newspaper articles from the 1980s that would indicate that my maternal Colombian grandparents were the leaders of a massive pot smuggling ring which, at the time, was referred to as the largest pot smuggling operations ever carried out in the U.S. Both my grandparents were sentenced to over 250 years each, but after that my trail ran cold and I do not know how or when they died.

Family rumors would have me believe that my grandfather died of a heart attack in jail soon after hearing that my grandmother was murdered in Colombia. My mom never talks about it and I don’t feel comfortable asking. Very few of my friends know about it, but I must say I find it ironic that my Italian paternal grandparents were coke dealers, while my Colombian maternal grandparents were prolific pot smugglers.”

8. “It was looked down upon”

“This happened in May of this year. I have a sister who is four years older than me and a half-brother who is 14 years older than me (from a different father).

My aunt, my mom’s sister, sent out an email to the entire family that vented about 60 years of hatred toward my mother. Right at the end of the email, my aunt clearly indicated that my mom had another kid that no one knew about and had given the kid up for adoption. Huge news to my family who knew nothing about this.

I asked my mom about this and found out that the father of the kid was my brother’s dad, but my mom and him weren’t married when this happened 45~ years ago, so it was looked down upon by others. My mom eventually married my brother’s father and had him, but that was a few years later. After they got a divorce, she got married to my dad about 8 years later.”

9. “Horse people”

“I found out that one of my ancestors was exiled from Russia for challenging an army officer to a duel (with swords) and winning. My ancestor worked in the czar’s stable, and the argument arose when the army officer insisted on riding my ancestor’s horse. The horse threw him off and the army officer shot it.

We’ve always been horse people.”

10. Dementia Confession 

“My mom and I cared for her father as he deteriorated with old age. As his mind went he told stories from the war, from his youth, and about my grandmother’s first husband.

My grandpa had a crush on her before WWII but never acted on it because he was dirt poor. He lied about his age and joined the Navy when he was somewhere between 14 and 16 so he could be respectable. So he could be worthy of her.

While he was away she married a man her parents liked. Her first husband beat her badly, would get drunk and assault her then call her mean names and make her sleep in the barn. She stayed because divorce wasn’t something you did at the time.

My grandpa got back, all snazzy in his uniform, and was told she’d married and where she lived. He showed up to say hello and there she was, a bloody mess. He took her to the Doctor, got her cleaned up, and convinced her to divorce him.

A year later they were married. Her ex kept showing up to harass them.

The story we’d always been told is that her ex finally got the hint and moved away.

The story my grandpa told me, in a lucid moment, was basically this:

‘I hated him for what he’d done to her. I knew he’d never leave her alone. I made sure he’d never bother her or any other woman again.’

I think my grandpa confessed to killing his wife’s ex husband.

What you have to keep in mind is that this was a very rural part of the Midwest in the 40s.”

11. “Mother knew best”

“My parents used to always joke about how ‘we picked the wrong boy at the hospital.’ I never thought much of it. A year ago (I’m now 17), they told me that when I was born in the almost exact time as a boy whose parents abandoned him. The boy was almost the same size as well. Now, you’d think that this would never happen, but I was born in China at a hospital that somehow mixed us two up. Essentially, they weren’t exactly sure if I was the son of my parents. My mom looked at the two of us and swore that I was the one, despite the nurses’ tags stating otherwise. Genetic tests were (relatively) expensive then and were refused by my mother. They didn’t care at the time since there was no parent to claim the other boy.

Now, I’m about to go off to college, and I have no intention of finding out whether or not I’m the biological son. Strange when I think about the other boy though. People always say I do look like my parents though, so I have little doubt that mother knew best.”

12. Great great great uncle

“My grandmother has all the dirty little secrets but she’s too proper to spill anything. Until this one night when she told me about my grandfather’s (her husband’s) family…Essentially they were poor, living off the streets and trying to earn money during Australia’s gold rush. Anyways, the family had too many kids and not enough money so they sold one of their kids. He would’ve been my grandfather’s great uncle I suppose. She had kept it secret all this time.”

13. Atheist Priest

“My great uncle, who became a Catholic priest at a young age, came out to his parents as an atheist while in seminary. They threatened to disown him if he ever told anyone else, or if he left the seminary (They came from a small town near Boston; I guess it would have been social suicide back then). So he stayed, became an excellent priest, and apparently never told anyone until my dad asked him for advice when he was considering the priesthood as well. He swore my dad to secrecy until he (my great-uncle) was dead, because he was afraid of the impact it would have on his congregation if they found out.

I discovered all this about a year and a half ago, when my dad was extremely drunk and ranting against religion. Completely shook my view of my great-uncle and great-grandparents – they always sounded like the model family, and my uncle was an amazingly peaceful and humble man, didn’t stop working in the community until shortly before his death three years ago. If anything I think it made me respect him more, in the end.”

Well, can you blame these people for never wanting to reveal these secrets? That is some DARK shit. Wow.

Do you have a secret you want to reveal? Maybe you can use a different name and post them in the comments? We won’t judge… much. ?

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People Share What Happened to the Person Who Took Their Virginity

Let’s dig up some old dirt, shall we?

Do you remember the person who took your virginity? Do you know whatever happened to them? Heck, maybe you’re still with them…

AskReddit users shared what happened to the people who took their V Card.

Share your story in the comments if you’re brave enough!

1. Sad.

“He died in a car accident about 15 years ago. I found out when I was cyber stalking people from my past and found his obituary. It was quite sad finding that out. Just wasn’t the expected outcome of that particular internet search.”

2. Don’t do drugs.

“I saw her at a parade a while back. She had a couple of kids and looked rougher than I remembered. Meth will do that.”

3. Still in good standing.

“She’s an attorney. She gave me some advice when I wanted to adopt a few years ago. Sweet girl, and still gorgeous 20-something years later.”

4. No need to dig up the past.

“Man, haven’t seen her since she moved out and divorced me 5 years ago. I honestly have no idea what she’s up to, but I actually hope she’s found help for her mental illnesses and is generally happy.

But she can stay wherever she is, I don’t need to see her again.”

5. That’s terrible.

“She killed herself 13 years ago. She was a great person.”

6. Not a pretty picture.

“She married some military dude, and had a hard life. Last I found her on Facebook she was promoting a GoFundMe so she could get new teeth. Had recently lost everything in a house fire. Has a couple of kids.”

7. I still wonder…

“He passed away at 19 after suffering a seizure in his sleep. We’d broken up about 6 months before.

Its been 10 years, but every once in a while I still wonder who he’d be today.”

8. In the basement.

“Cheated on me, got fat, had a kid, cheated on that guy, had another kid, cheated on that guy, and now lives in her mom’s basement.”

9. Good luck.

“Single mom, 30 years old, with two kids. She seems like she’s a terrific mom and tries the best she can with limited resources. Thanks for the memories, Olivia, and good luck.”

10. Right here.

“Sitting next to me eating Spaghetti O’s out of a pyrex bowl. Not because of a lack of better food or bowls, but because he like it and the pyrex is the biggest glass bowl.”

11. Doing well.

“I ran into her on the street not too long ago. She’s engaged and seems to be doing well otherwise too. Still drop dead gorgeous as well.”

12. Oh boy…

“She married the next guy she dated. Had 2 kids and moved to Boston. He cheated on her with another dude and left her recently.”

13. Ugh!

“In jail for child abuse and recording it.”

14. It’s all good.

“We are still decent friends for the last 19 years, she recently got married to a very nice guy and they have good careers in tech. I am very happy for them.”

15. Awwwwwww.

“I see her almost every day. She’s my wife after all.”

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15 People Share Small Things You Can Do Today to Start Making a Difference in Your Life

Change can seem very overwhelming, especially when we’re talking about big lifestyle changes.

That’s why this article from AskReddit is so helpful. People offered up small tips that you might want to consider to start improving your life.

Baby steps!

1. Flossing is important.

“Oral hygiene. Gotta be more consistent when it comes to flossing.”

2. Just do it.

“Start doing the “Rule of 5″ If it takes less than 5 minutes to do a task when you see something, and you’re not already mid task, just get it done. You’ll get your chore list cracked out a lot faster if you just clean the counters as you go around the house doing other stuff.”

3. Just a little bit.

“Do something a little bit.

Work out a little bit, so you can be just a bit stronger.

Eat a little more healthy, so you can be a bit healthier.

Always improve on something at least a little bit every day, and in the long run, you’ll be doing great.”

4. Always improving.

“Be actively kind to yourself. What did you do today that was great? Cherish it.

On the other hand, when you’re good at being kind to you(!), take the next step: what did you do today that you want to do differently tomorrow/next time?”

5. Set your goals.

“Start thinking in long-term (say, five years), medium-term (say, a month to six months) and short-term strategies (say, one day to a week).

You can break the long-term plan down into medium-term plans, and the medium-term plans into short-term plans. What do you need to be doing today to get you to where you want to be next week? Next month? Next year? Once you’ve got that in mind — and you get into the habit of taking manageable bites out of your life goals — it becomes a lot easier to achieve what you want.

The advice I always give relates to writing a novel. A novel is 90,000 words, give or take. If you write 250 words a day, every day, you’ll have the first draft of that book you’ve had rattling around inside your head on paper by the end of 2020. If that seems daunting… well, this comment is 210 words long. It took me less than five minutes to type up, and I’m only, what, forty words away from being on target? How many Reddit comments do you write in a day? How many Facebook updates? How many tweets?

A little amount of sustained effort is (usually) the best way to get where you want to be.”

6. Take a walk.

“Go for a walk, even just a short one. I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome a few years ago and I could barely get out of bed but I forced myself to walk- first to my mailbox, then the end of my street and beyond. It may not seem like much but I promise it can make a huge difference.”

7. Clean it up.

“Donating/throwing out/selling old stuff you no longer use. Also, cleaning out your fridge.”

8. Wake up fresh.

“Do your dishes before you go to bed. Waking up with a clean kitchen is a great feeling.”

9. All in your head.

“Be aware of the narratives we make up in our heads that only cause distress or anger.

An example of what I mean: “My friend hasn’t texted me for 3 days, she must be growing tired of our friendship!” More likely is that your friend is simply busy.”

10. All good tips.

“Allocate time more directly to maintenance of my body and home:

I lost 100 lbs this year. All due to diet. I could be a lot healthier if I added 30 minutes of exercise.

Then there’s my house, after I lost my wife I had a lot of trouble motivating myself to clean and now certain rooms are really needing it. If I could allocate even just an hour a day to it I would eventually be able to get back to regular maintenance rather than feeling helpless every time I open the door to one of those rooms.

Lastly, reading. I desperately want to get back into it and I’ve succeeded a couple times and loved it. But college broke my spirit of habitual reading and I’m not sure how to get it back.”

11. One piece at a time.

“If you’re sitting on a couch, desk chair, or lying down, and you get up to go to the bathroom or kitchen, take something with you. The 2 empty water bottles near your bedside, or the dirty dish on your coffee table. Knock out 2 birds with one stone.”

12. No more soda.

“Drink more water. Less soda.”

13. Very important.

“Stretch.”

14. Nobody’s perfect!

“Realizing you don’t have to be perfect is a good first step. People get shit wrong, we’re fallible!

Also I cannot stress enough how good books are for your brain. Expands your vocabulary, encourages imagination and creative thinking and even if you have problems with reading words, for example if you’re dyslexic, audio books are a thing and for the most part they’re just as good and effective.”

15. Start MOVING.

“Get the fuck out of bed. Stop snoozing. Stop laying there. Just get up, make your bed if that’s your thing, and have a big glass of water. Then move. Yoga, a walk, 20 jumping jacks. Anything. Just move a little bit.”

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