Men Who Don’t Share Their Emotions Opened up and Talked About What’s on Their Minds

If there’s one stereotype in this world that is based in reality, it’s that men are not great at expressing their emotions

Heck, some of us don’t even open up at all. EVER.

But today, we’re gonna get real with some fellas who want to let the emotions flow. And that’s a good thing.

Guys on AskReddit opened up and spilled their guts.

1. We all need this.

“I really want a hug.

I haven’t been hugged in so long.

It would be nice, I think.”

2. It’s difficult.

“I don’t know how I feel half the time. I find other people’s emotions relatable and I feel like I can empathize with them, but when it comes to mine it seems difficult to define.

I hate that I lie about myself to make myself seem more interesting. It’s so hindering; I feel so f*cking stupid after it and just start cringing.

I don’t know if I’m stupid or intelligent – I’m definitely lazy, I know that much.

I don’t feel wanted or needed in my life but I know that logically it’s not true, I just associate being wanted or loved with physical affection (not s*x) and those interactions are few and far between.

I’m not scared of dying, but I’m scared of risking things. Sometimes I even think that death would be a good option, because I feel there is no pre designated point to living. We have to create a point, and I don’t know what I want my point to be.”

3. Emotional affair.

“My wife is currently having an emotional affair with a coworker, and shows no remorse. Her family and friends seem to support her.

I had some serious anxiety about a year ago for a handful of months, and my wife found someone else during that time.

My whole world is destroyed. I feel like a loser, I’m too embarrassed to admit it to my friends, and I don’t know how I can continue on.

She starts individual counseling tomorrow, and all I can hope is that she at least realizes how hurtful she has been.

I can’t imagine being with anyone else, but having your wife tell you that she thinks she may be happier with another man just sucks all of your self worth out of you.”

4. Keep your distance.

“I distance myself from everyone in my life emotionally because the feeling of being vulnerable and truly opening up to people scares the sh*t out of me.

It always seems to come back to bite me in the *ss when I leak a little bit too much information because I just want to be alone and forget about everything.

I wish I could live alone and have very little interactions with everyone, it’s always so draining to be around people day in day out with little alone time.”

5. Lonely.

“Only one of my friends ever contacts me unprompted, wether it is via text or a quick drop by.

I would never hear from the others again if I didn’t message or call them first.

This isn’t as bad as some of the others here but it has been bothering me for a long while.”

6. Don’t care.

“I honestly can’t. That’s basically the problem.

I just don’t care.

At all.

And it’s really hard to express that.”

7. In a tough spot.

“I’m tired of pretending everything is going well.

I lost all motivation and drive to do well in life. I keep telling myself it will get better, but nothing is going right.

I just want a hug from someone who really cares about me and tell me everything will be okay.

I want to drop out of school so badly to recover but that’s not possible.”

8. Need some contact.

“I actually sat and thought about it yesterday and I haven’t had physical contact with another human (other than perhaps brushing a hand from someone handing me change or rubbing shoulders in the street) for around 3 years.”

9. Good luck to you.

“I’ll probably be moving across country, by myself, for a job with subpar pay, during a global pandemic.

Wish me luck!”

10. You have to face it.

“I don’t want to accept the fact that I’m depressed because if I do then it’ll be harder for me to overcome it.”

11. Shut down.

“Every time I trust someone with all my heart and soul, they break my trust.

So I’ve started to keep things to myself, I’m done with trusting and opening up to people.”

12. Family problems.

“I’m the oldest of 4 brothers. My younger brothers are far more successful than me.

When we were growing up, I always felt like my parents never gave a sh*t about me as soon as my brothers showed up. All through life, I had to listen to my parents comparing me, the oldest, to my younger brothers. It was always humiliating. I struggled with learning in school and my parents jus thought I was stupid or lazy.

They never really put in the time or effort to work with me or to understand my struggles, and I was just a kid so I didn’t know how to express myself. They didn’t understand that I was bullied throughout most of my academic life and that it caused me to suffer from social anxiety disorder.

As a kid, I always saw my parents providing opportunities for my brothers that they never did for me. Even things like taking my brothers to the dentist to get braces so their teeth are nice, or helping them get into good universities, or allowing them to gain some work experience in the family business. My one brother, the youngest, is now the owner of the successful family business, but I wasn’t even invited to work there to help out the family keep it running.

Instead, I aimlessly drifted from one crappy retail job to another for many years, never really earning anything, always living in debt, and barely making ends meet. I never could afford nice cars or clothes or vacations that may parents and my siblings could, because I had to work hard to survive, because no one gave me any kind of support. Now that I’m an adult, I’m married, and have kids of my own.

I live far away from my family, but I’m still jealous of people who have family members that they can get advice from, or who they can talk to about their problems. I don’t have anyone on my side of the family for any of that. My parents basically don’t give a crap about me. They send me some facebook messages from time to time or make a like or a comment on one of my posts, but it’s always surface level small talk.

This is something that my wife and I discuss quite often because she’s noticed too that my family are very distant from me. She doesn’t understand why I don’t have a family that supports me, and I’m not even talking about financially supporting me. I don’t want or need that, but it’d be nice to be able to talk to mom and just get advice about something, instead of feeling like I’m the only one in the world.

It’s pretty bad because where I live, I have ZERO family members around me. The only family I do have are my wife’s family who have been very supportive. Her brothers are like my best friends, and I see and talk to her parents all the time but sometimes I feel like they only keep me around because of her. At the end of the day, I’m not one of them, you know?

Anyway, I just kind of wish I had one of those tv-family relationships with my parents. Where dad will show up and be like, “Hey son, what say we go out back and play catch and have a talk?” but I’ve accepted that that’s not me and never will be. I’ve managed to keep myself in check by writing in a journal for many years.

All things considered, I’m doing OK but just know that alot of guys do have their problems even if they don’t talk about them. We bleed and show pain just like everyone else does.”

We want more of that!

In the comments, tell us what’s on your mind.

Please and thank you.

The post Men Who Don’t Share Their Emotions Opened up and Talked About What’s on Their Minds appeared first on UberFacts.

Men Who Don’t Usually Open Up Share What’s on Their Minds

I’m probably not telling you something you don’t already know, but a lot of men out there aren’t exactly good at letting their emotions out.

Well, we’re about to change that right now, even if it is anonymously.

Men on AskReddit were nice enough to open up about their emotions. Let’s take a look.

1. Terrified.

“I act indifferent and have things under control but in reality I’m terrified of the future. I think about 100 what-if scenario a day.

I don’t like to talk about myself because I feel like I’m not interesting or people don’t care about what I have to say about my life.

Thank God I have good friends but those things not even them I can share with.”

2. Tough times.

“I don’t want to exist anymore, honestly.

I dont want to die, I just want the memory of me and who I am to be wiped away from EVERYONE so I don’t disappoint anyone anymore.

I just want to be a ghost and not exist anymore.

Sorry just going through some sh*t right now with depression, heartbreak, insomnia, and a slew of other things that I have to hide so to not hurt or disappoint anyone.”

3. We all need that sometimes.

“Give us a pat on the back and ask us how we’re doing every now and then, as small as it may seem it can mean the world to some.”

4. That’s sad.

“I kinda wish my close friends remembered my birthday today.

They usually remember down to the exact minute, but this year, none of them did (at least so far).

I know they’re all busy and have bigger things to be worrying about, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel a bit lonely.”

5. Bottled up.

“I’m afraid that I have bottled up my feelings for so long that if I’m ever lucky enough to find a person I want to open up to, it will either be impossible or everything will come out at once and scare them off.”

6. Scary.

“My ex wife, who mentally abused me for years and physically abused me on separate occasions, who I’ve been separated with for 2.5 years and in the process of getting a divorce from, still harasses to this day, as well as the woman I’ve been dating.

I’ve asked for help on several occasions from the police and the court system. I basically get mocked and laughed at by our judicial system because, “what, is this woman going to beat you up?”

I’m going to end up with a knife in my chest before anyone listens or takes a step in ending her terror.”

7. Eating disorder.

“My eating disorder has gotten bad again. I’m extremely lonely and isolated. I’ve lost friends just by being “independent and confident” and not texting and call first so now I’m nearly alone.

I’m petrified about the future with a million paths and no direction, and I’m so stressed that I can’t get a good pathway started. I’m terrified of dating because I still feel extremely insecure about my body.

Tonight my first day off in while I woke up jerked off, binge ate junk food threw it up and started drinking and now I’m on reddit so yeah. I’m so depressed and anxious I don’t know why.”

8. Broken.

“I am still broken on the inside. That my “soul” is like f*cking coventry after the Germans raided it during the second world war.

That I am afraid to sink into depression for the sixth time in my life because it got worse and longer with every single time. Because the only thing that kept me alive was my back then gf who left me.

That I consider myself a massive disappointment, the failure of my family and that my family would be better off without me. That my family, especially my parents were a major reason for these five depressions. That all it will take to push me over the edge and into suicide is just a little push because I do not want to struggle for the sixth time.

That I am still not over my break up, despite it being something that happened over 2 years ago. That I still cry from time to time whenever I think about the past.”

9. A hard situation.

“So my mom is chronically ill, her brain is deteriorating fast.

My dad is understandably very stressed due to all of this and how many years it has lasted, he’s the only other person in this household I really can talk to (a conversation with my mom isn’t really a real conversation) and he’s too stressed to have the energy or time to do so meaning I’m really isolated.

I just finished high school in spring and moved back home after living with my best friend for 9 months, before living there I was doing the same thing as now with taking care of my mom to help with my dad’s stress all while doing IB with 5 higher levels.

I’m currently spending my sabbatical taking care of my sick vegetative mom instead of getting a job and saving up and getting some good experiences, I’m 20 years old and I am in no way living life for myself in any way.

My only real escape is going to the gym to work out, the sweet release of dopamine is probably the only thing keeping me from falling down into the deep dark hole of despair and depression; well that and being a nerd in the kitchen which has gone from a hobby to a daily chore.

I imagined my sabbatical would involve saving up, maybe getting a girlfriend, traveling with my best friend and not just living for the sake of taking care of my parents. Honestly it sometimes takes weeks to have a real conversation with people, I feel so alone and granted it’s necessary the quarantine isn’t doing anything to help my situation.”

10. Into the void.

“I want to be free. I want to be free from nations, systems, norms, and ages.

I hate feeling and thinking.

This is a really beautiful planet but a really sad world.

I really wish i can go back to the void and nonexistence.”

11. Expectations.

“I hate it when expectations are placed on me, next year I am going to college. My parents have expectations of me passing and successfully getting in.

So as of now, she wants me to retain or get higher grades than usual, and the thing is I don’t want stress, I wanna live my life peacefully and stress-free as much as possible. My parents aren’t bad, I know they just want the best for me, it’s just that I am afraid that I cannot meet their expectations and disappoint them.

To try and get rid of the stress and pressure temporarily I usually play games, watch shows, or read books. I will admit that I do put a lot of my time into those things, but the reason why is because it helps me temporarily forget about my problems in the world, while doing those things I can feel at ease, but sometimes my parents condemn me a bit for spending too much time on those things.

Sometimes I just wanna say that I do these things to help me calm down about life, but I don’t know how to say it or even if they would understand it.

Lastly, I feel like there’s no purpose in my life, I just wake up every day, go to online classes, listen to the teachers, do my requirements, sleep, rinse and repeat. I just don’t know what to do in life, I feel like an empty husk that has no purpose.

I’m not suicidal at all or anything but sometimes I just wonder what would it be like if I just never existed at all. I just don’t know what to do with life, I have no goals, no dreams, I barely feel happiness left, I don’t know what to make me happy. I just feel completely lost, I don’t know what to do.”

12. Lovelorn.

“I met an incredibly beautiful, smart, loving girl but I work abroad and I have to go away after Christmas.

After 3 failed relationships which only lasted months, this is the first person I can see myself having a stable and happy relationship with.

The thought of having a long distance relationship breaks me, because I know I can’t do it, I don’t like texting or video calling, and they rarely work.

She also gets a lot of attention from other men and I feel like I would lose her quickly.

I’m sad, trying not to fall in love. I’ve always felt that I wouldn’t find anyone for me, and now that I have I can’t be with her.”

13. About to crack.

“My wife needs me to be mentally and emotionally strong, capable, confident, able to make decisions, able to lead and manage. I cannot show weakness, anxiety, indecision or exhaustion in front of her. I cannot make mistakes.

But I am weak, anxious, indecisive and exhausted – because I am only human. 2020 has been a tough year for everyone, but in addition to Covid I have started a new job, in a new country, and borne the brunt of all the administrative, logistical and financial management of moving us. I have decision fatigue. I wake up with a sense of dread. All I really want to do is hibernate.

But I can’t show it. She ‘loses faith in me’ if I don’t keep a stiff upper lip and just ‘handle it like a man’. She supports in lots of practical ways – shopping, cooking, cleaning, childcare – but what I need now is a friend, someone I can be myself with, and can share my fears and vulnerabilities with, can have the liberty to be less than perfect with.

She won’t let me do that, because it scares her too much. She needs a strong man to cling to, and if her man turns out not to be strong she lashes out in fear.

So I have to kind of bottle it up. I used to have a group of male friends – I couldn’t really discuss these things, but at least we could go out for a drink once in a while and unwind – but Covid and moving have put an end to that. I now feel that I have no-one, really, who is close enough with whom to share this crushing burden of responsibility.

It is affecting our marriage – because it doesn’t feel like a partnership. A husband and wife should first and foremost be friends, but she says she can’t be my friend because friends don’t have to rely on each other financially. It’s like being married to a housekeeper / secretary.

We have s*x from time to time, but without the emotional support of a friend I feel like that, too, is a performance – that I have to put on a persona of a super-masculine, hyper-dominant ‘real man’; anything less she says is ‘disgusting’. She doesn’t even like cuddling afterwards because she thinks it’s ‘pathetic’ and ‘real men don’t cuddle, they f*ck and leave’.

I’m deeply, deeply unhappy. But the only people who know are random internet strangers.

One day I swear I’m going to crack. The only reason I don’t is because we have a kid.”

Now we want to hear from you.

What’s on YOUR mind that you’d like to get off your chest?

Talk to us in the comments!

The post Men Who Don’t Usually Open Up Share What’s on Their Minds appeared first on UberFacts.

Therapists Discuss Their “Holy Sh*t” Moments With Clients

We all have unique things that we deal with at our jobs on a daily basis, but therapists really see and hear some wild things.

And us non-therapists never really get a peek into that world…until now!

Therapists got real on AskReddit about the unusual things they’ve seen and heard on the job. Let’s take a look.

1. Awful.

“I was counseling a 13 year old girl for anxiety and she reported s*xual abuse from her step dad. I called her mom and told her mother I needed to call child protective services. Turns out that CPS was already aware and the abuse was first report around the patients age 7.

Mom was aware of the abuse and stayed with her husband anyway. It was a complicated situation, and it wasn’t. How could she not do more to protect her daughter?!

Sorry lady… I’m judging.”

2. People are sick.

“My professor once shared what a patient said that made her quit her job: “I didn’t r*pe my daughter, she liked it.” The daughter was six.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She worked in a rehabilitation centre for people who have been sentenced for serious crimes and were forced to get mental help.

Really difficult job and this pushed her over the edge.”

3. Good Lord…

“Once had a patient whose wife shook their baby to death. He wanted help reconnecting with his wife.

At the time I was a young father of a newborn myself, and he triggered a lot of fear in me for my own child, a deep loathing of his spouse, and pity (the “how pathetic” kind) for the patient.

I tried for 3 sessions, met his spouse and everything before handing the case over to my supervisor (who knew about my initial reactions, and tried to help me through it).

Unfortunately, it ended up being more about my feelings than his, and I was new to the profession at the time. These things are expected to crop up from time to time, but I was still taken aback by my own reactions.”

4. Dumbstruck.

“I work at a group home.

We had a kid who we had admitted four months prior, when in a family session they mentioned they had parasites. Mom said, “yeah, our whole family has them, we don’t get rid of them since they’re part of our biological ecosystem.”

I was dumbstruck.

We spent three weeks afterwards convincing this family it was an infectious disease concerns as other residents have fecal eating behaviors and various other unsanitary issues that could cause a unit spread.

Three weeks of education, planning, and worse of all convincing this kid and mother that their IQ wouldn’t drop because they had agreed to irradiate the parasites!!!

Lots of CBT work, but Jesus it took way longer than any of my team expected!”

5. Brutal.

“I work with kids who have experienced some kind of abuse/trauma (90% of my clients have been s*xually abused). I have a lot of holy sh*t moments but not from judgment of my clients but from what happened to them.

I’ve had clients whose father made them help him dismember mom’s body after dad murdered her in front of them. I’ve had clients under the age of 8 who have been s*x trafficked.

I’ve had clients who have been forced to film torture p*rn. I have holy sh*t moments all the time.”

6. Judging.

“I feel like a lot of the comments saying that they NEVER judge their clients might be working in voluntary services or they’ve been very fortunate in their client base. Judgement isn’t an inherently bad thing. It’s how we know that murdering people is wrong.

So when a convicted pedophile client told me, “nothing gets me going like a pair of little girl’s worn panties”, you better believe I judged the f*ck out of him. I continued to work with him and I treated him with compassion and respect because he’s a human being worthy of both; I did my job because I’m a professional.

But I can’t honestly say that I didn’t judge him. I judged that he should never be around children. I judged that he is not yet ready for change. I judged that his access to his own daughter should be closely supervised. That’s a lot of judgements.

Understanding your own inherent biases and how they influence your work is a very important part of training and practice.”

7. Not a good move.

“As the pandemic worsened here in the US and more lock downs are on their way, one of my most extroverted clients and I brainstormed ways to meet her social needs while remaining safe.

The following week she canceled her session and told me that she’s positive for COVID after attending an orgy, which definitely wasn’t one of our ideas.

I let out the deepest most defeated sigh after I hung up the phone.”

8. Anger management.

“I ran a men’s anger management group though, and some of those men had done some terrible things to women. Most of them I found ways to like and admire for their positive aspects, but there were two guys in that group I just could never find “unconditional positive regard” for.

One guy basically never spoke in group. He would give one word answers and occasionally just discuss how unfair the “system” was to him. I worked really hard to open him up and find things to connect over but he never opened up to me or the group. He left the group after he strangled his girlfriend and went to jail. She survived thankfully.

The other left group early routinely, showed up late, participated minimally and similarly never wanted to open up honestly. He left early one group after we had discussed him staying to the end and threatened me when I told him he wasn’t going to get credit for attendance (something the court required).

Oddly, I eventually moved into the apartment below him (completely without knowledge) and listened to him scream at his girlfriend and break sh*t while I called the cops.

I judge these men. They’re sh*tty. Maybe they’re redeemable, but redemption requires self-exploration and they both refused to do so. It’s worth noting how differently I felt about them than so many others in the group; men I found ways to help and admire and respect even in spite of their awful behavior in the past.”

9. Youth issues.

“I work with youth and adolescents who have anxiety, trauma, and/or depression. Some of the kids I worked with had some pretty severe attachment issues. Regardless of this, I never thought I’d have to seriously explain:

“You can’t just buy a straitjacket for your kid.”

“Feeding your kid ultra Spicy Ramen each night instead of the meal everyone else is eating isn’t specifically defined as abuse, but you have to understand the emotional abuse that this causes.”

“Your kid isn’t trying to kill you because they stand in your doorway at night crying. Thats likely because they’re scared of their traumatic nightmares, but feel like you will just yell at them if they wake you up.”

10. This is terrible.

“A woman who deliberately kept getting pregnant because she enjoyed the attention, and then would immediately afterwards dump her kids with the foster system or in one case a willing relative.

She had six kids at the time I met her…”

11. Drug lord.

“It’s not often I get to talk about my profession, but here goes: I was working at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center and had a client come in who was a self proclaimed “drug lord”.

As we worked together, he told me about his history. Included in this history was how he got to where he was currently at.

During the conversation, this man admitted to selling his sister into s*x slavery, forcibly injecting her with several sedatives and narcotics, and having several people “teach her a lesson” (what this meant, he never shared). He told this story with a blank face, smiling only when he recalled the “good times”, which he referred to as times when he had enough heroin to get through the day.

I’m not sure where he is at now, but this man inspired me to work with victims of s*x trafficking, because not only do they deal with the stigma of “selling their bodies”, they often manage drug addictions.

People would honestly be floored of they realized how many people were addicted to chemicals that they were forcibly given.”

12. The straight story.

“I work in mental health and have worked in acute and crisis settings for the majority of my career.

The most notable event I experienced was when a young person had presented with significant ongoing suicidal ideation who was dealing with a lot of sh*t. I spent a lot of time with them mostly deescalation and working out what the plan should be moving forward.

One of their parents came in a little while later and I had the opportunity to speak to them about where their child was and what had been going on, with their consent of course. Midway through me trying to explain some of the psychological constructs and ways the parent could help they said to me, “is this going to take much longer I have a show to go and watch”.

All I can say is, I never judge my patients, I have never walked their path or viewed the world through their eyes. But the people around them who perpetuate the suffering of the people I work with through ignorance, malice and selfishness, I judge them.”

Have you ever had any major “oh sh*t” moments at your job?

If so, tell us your stories in the comments.

We’d love to hear ’em!

The post Therapists Discuss Their “Holy Sh*t” Moments With Clients appeared first on UberFacts.

What Has 2020 Taught You? Here’s What People Said.

This sure has been some year, am I right?

I for one, have learned a little bit more about what’s really important in life: health, family, and good friends. After that, all the other stuff really isn’t that important.

What has 2020 taught you?

Here’s what folks on AskReddit had to say.

1. Working from home.

“I’ve been open for a long time about how working from home for jobs that can be done remotely should be the norm.

Why would you commute if it’s avoidable? The pandemic has forced lots of employers’ hands and it turns out, many of us can work effectively from home!”

2. I like this one.

“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sadly, I feel like this is the most relevant this quote has ever been. People conflating science and societal care with tyranny and violation of rights.”

3. Harsh times.

“Nothing can prepare you for the harshness of our society.

If you want to be successful and live you have to take your life into your own hands and make things happen.”

4. Some people don’t change.

“It taught me the red flags of a mentally abusive relationship and that you will never be able to change that person.”

5. Congrats!

“It taught me that my SO is definitely the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

Nothing like a global pandemic and shelter in place order to rapidly progress a new relationship, eh?”

6. Pay attention.

“Authoritarianism is never that far away in any place.

People are too willing to forgo critical thinking and will readily buy the bullsh*t.”

7. Downsizing.

“That I don’t need to shop.

My son and I don’t need to go out every weekend and buy new things. We are perfectly capable with what we have. In fact we’ve pared down what we had.

Money in the bank. Soon as this passes over (if…) we’re going to Disney!”

8. Learn to think!

“That huge swaths of our society lack even the most basic critical thinking skills.

Sorry, but if you outright deny facts and empirical evidence to believe in something comfortable to you, you aren’t some “woke up” great thinker above all the “sheep”.

You’re a moron and a huge drain on the rest of us.”

9. Great!

“I love being a dad.

Being a stay at home dad is awesome. The roles were always reversed until now and I felt like I was missing so much of my kids lives providing for them. Going from bread winner to Mr mom obviously took some adjustments but I feel like I know my boys better than ever.

Helping them doing their online kindergarten classes and teaching my youngest to walk along with another long list of memories has changed my view on fatherhood and taught me so much.”

10. Good points.

“Even if you think you are in control of the things in your life, you really aren’t.

Sometimes the things you want and work hard for aren’t what you thought they would be.

The most important things in life are the intangible ones (good relationships, mental well-being)

We could all stand to be a little nicer to each other

It’s okay to not be okay.”

11. Yup.

“That the more uneducated people are, the more assertive and vocal they are regarding something they don’t have any clue about!”

12. Not so fast.

“I’ve learnt that I’m ready for retirement.

The lifestyle of doing nothing all day and getting paid for the privilege suits me well.

It’s a shame I have 31 more years until I actually can retire though.”

13. Baby steps.

“That a little work on something every day makes a huge difference over a couple of months.”

14. A nice story.

“That despite all those things my parents lead me to believe, I can be successful.

I bought my first house this year, reconnected with a good friend and am starting a business with her. It’s been rough having zero breaks from my kids and they’re missing out on socializing and preschool, but we have grown closer and they’re learning a new resilience that I never learned.

I’m proud of them and myself.”

Now we’d like to hear from you.

In the comments, tell us what you learned in 2020.

Please and thank you!

The post What Has 2020 Taught You? Here’s What People Said. appeared first on UberFacts.

Therapists Discussed Moments When Clients Really Caught Them by Surprise

I admire people who work as therapists because they have a very tough job.

And I think it would be very difficult to not bring all that baggage home every night…

But we’re dealing with professionals here, okay? And we’re in luck because they talked about some clients that did some crazy sh*t.

Therapists opened up on AskReddit about some of the more interesting things they’ve seen on the job.

1. Troubled.

“Parents of a “troubled” child, which turn out to be the problem themselves.

Total refusal to do any kind of introspection, try to convince everybody (cps, police, psychologist, doctor) the kid was the problem, complain the kid was… A kid (a teenager a that point) by growing too fast and costing money to feed and clothe.

He had smashed their t.v. with an axe. Turns out they hadn’t speak or pay any attention to him in several years and they spent 99% of their free time watching t.v. Kid had no other behavior problem, great in school, very calm. He just reach a point where he couldn’t stand being ignore any longer so he had what she called a “Fried Green Tomatoes” moment.

Parents dismissed their responsibility, only problem they saw was the wacked t.v. Kid got emancipated at 16 and moved to f*ck out of there.

She had a private practice and the only times she expressed any judgment was when someone seeks therapy but refused to do any work or partake in the process. Paying a therapist is not paying someone to agree with you.

You need to show up, you need to -at least- try.”

2. Wow.

“I now work in the jail and there are quite a few s*x offenders in my program.

I struggle with the ones who honestly believe their victims (as young as 8) were in mutual loving relationships with them.

It’s super difficult at times not to just say “dude, WTF!””

3. Give yourself some credit.

“Some of my clients are SHOCKINGLY BAD at giving themselves credit.

They might get a nearly straight A GPA in a brutal major while battling depression, or overcome years of phobia and get behind the wheel again, or write a literal novel, or raise a kid as a single parent with low income

Rr build new relationships after being burned, or cope with OCD well enough to hold down a job. And they’ll talk about themselves as if everyone on earth is better than them, as if their accomplishments are worthless.

And I know it’s because of depression or anxiety or another condition, but I’m often stunned by how differently I see them compared to how they see themselves.”

4. Heartache.

“Had a patient apologise for crying during a consultation, saying ‘I know I shouldn’t be sad, I’ve got so many great things going for me’

Dude.

Three months ago you had to move back to your parents after an unexpected breakup.

Back to the environment which contributed to your official diagnosis.

The same place where your sister was living- before she died, one month after your return to that house, of the same diagnosis you have.

And because she died during a pandemic, not only could you not visit her in hospital before she died, you had difficulty organising her funeral.

In addition to all that he felt financially responsible for both his parents as they’d both lost their benefits- a loss which they couldn’t appeal as their mental health was so poor the concept of fighting that decision was making them suicidal.

I want to hug a lot of my patients, but this one made my heart ache.”

5. Judged.

“The one thing I’ve judged is the situations that people survive and continue to live their lives.

I’ve worked with torture survivors, survivors of genocide and famine. I’ve worked with people whose entire villages were wiped out because a war lord wanted the water well that was sitting in the town.

It always gives me pause in terms of the anguish some people face and their resilience. So if I have one message, it would be in the words of RJ Palacio, “Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle.””

6. Psychotherapy.

“I’m a psychotherapist on an adult inpatient unit, so things rarely phase me. I purposely do inpatient because the thought of seeing people for years at a time bores me.

I’ve been kicked, spit on, seen a lot of nude people, but I help pull people back from their darkest points. It’s pretty awesome. My theory is everyone has a story of how they got there. Even a pedophile.

That being said, I had a patient that was having consensual s*x with her uncle. Very wealthy, society type people. She went very in-depth about the relationship. That one weirded me out.”

7. Are you serious?

“I currently have a young female client that is struggling with homelessness, a history of trauma, s*xual abuse, etc.

She’s not handling these things well, as can be expected. Grandmother, who is her only support, keeps kicking the ten year old out of her house (making her homeless at ten) for acting out, and told me she can’t understand why client won’t just “act right.”

Lady. Are you serious?”

8. Hearing voices.

“There was a client a young teenager that was hearing voices to hurt himself.

He had multiple crisis calls and was admitted several times to crisis centers for observation until he got prescribed meds and was starting to show improvement.

He was starting to disclose that he may have been Gay and was stressed out because his father was old school religious and a pillar of the community.

The young man was recommended to go to treatment abs start in a facility to keep him acclimate to he meds and just to give him some coping skills and all that.

His father pulled him out AMA and refused to allow him to continue medication. He also discontinued his therapy for a more religious approach.

3 months later he completed his suicide.

I see that father around and I want to f*ck him up. I wish I could.”

9. Scary.

“In working with a young elementary aged student, he would start mast*rbating when explaining how he wanted to kill his teacher and classmates in gruesome detail.

Thankfully we were able to transfer him to a more appropriate day school setting where he could receive special services.”

10. Couples counseling.

“Couples counseling; parents of a baby (4 or 5 months old).

We are halfway in our session when I ask them about their baby. Mom: she is in bed right now. Me: ah, grandparents babysitting? Dad: no, she is at home alone. Nothing can happen to her. We bought a special mattress, one where she (baby) cannot suffocate

Me: mouth open… staring at them for a couple of seconds. Then: how long did it take you to get here? Mom: 15 mins or so. Me: alright, the session is over.

I want you guys to go home immediately and call me when you arrive. Please hurry. And Never ever leave your baby alone!”

11. So bad.

“I’ve worked with some really sh*tty parents in my career. Probably one of the worst was the mom who kept sneaking the stepfather back into the house who was being investigated for molesting her daughter.

Hard not to judge someone who puts her own daughter at risk so she could get laid.”

12. Sabotaging.

“It is highly unlikely for me to have moments where I judge my clients.

It happens sometimes, but I’m able to shut down those thoughts quickly in my head and return to being present for the people I see. People are so incredibly complex that my judgment wouldn’t have any meaning anyway and it doesn’t have a place in our work together.

I will admit though, something that does get me feeling a little salty is when I have a client’s parent that attempts to sabotage the therapeutic relationship I have with their child.

Or pulling them out of therapy entirely when some of the things we talk about challenges some potentially unhealthy family dynamics. I don’t feel anger toward the parents, mostly I feel bad for the kid.”

What do you think is your biggest “oh sh*t” work moment?

Tell us your stories in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post Therapists Discussed Moments When Clients Really Caught Them by Surprise appeared first on UberFacts.

People Admit What They Thought Would Be Easy Until They Tried It

You’ve probably been dumbfounded when trying something new in your life at least once…or maybe way more times than that if you’re a risk-taker and even a little bit ignorant.

Hey, we all live and learn, right?

But sometimes, you have to learn the hard way.

Folks on AskReddit talked about what they thought would be easy until they tried it.

1. Uhhh, no.

“Running.

I was like yeah I smoke and drink but I can definitely run like the wind. Ha, no.

Quit smoking after my first run and am now 3 years smoke free!”

2. Now, that is hard.

“Playing the guitar.

The jump from not being able to play anything to playing basic chords and a couple songs you like isn’t that much and it makes you feel like such a bad*ss. But the jump again to a working musician is astronomical.

I tried and just got burnt out and it wasn’t fun anymore.”

3. Back to Square One.

“A lot of the parts from that Ninja Warrior show. I’m a very physically fit guy and always thought that first course looked like a breeze.

Then I found a local gym with the different elements set up. Even just that very first part where you hop across a few platforms was tough.”

4. Gotta work it out.

“Maintaining a proper work/life balance.

When I was still in college, I’d either procrastinate way too much or I’d work nonstop.

I was never able to find a balance where I was still getting sh*t done but not burning myself out.”

5. Harder as you get older.

“Learning a second language.

I understand it’s far easier as an adolescent but, whew, conversational German for a English speaker is very hard for me.”

6. It’s true.

“Making (and maintaining) friends as an adult.

I never really put much thought into this, until I had no friends left in adulthood, and realized how easy it used to be as a kid in school in comparison.”

7. A tough one.

“I am not a really confident person but I keep working on my confidence.

There was a time when I tried the “fake it until you make it” approach.

Faking it is harder than expected.”

8. Works of art.

“Pottery.

I made a couple of very small, cr*ppy bowls on the wheel, but the thing I made the best and far more often was a giant mess.

I can sculpt fine but those stupid bowls get me.”

9. Maybe you don’t have the “gift of gab.”

“Socializing with a group of people I usually wouldn’t hang out with.

It’s either that or I stay alone forever…but I just can’t find any sort of relatability to these people.”

10. Better pay attention!

“On the first trip to England…

After renting a car, it proved to be a considerable challenge to drive on the “other side of the road” from what I was used to – especially in the roundabouts and on major highways.”

11. Brain drain.

“Working a job.

Doing the job physically itself, I have no problem with.

Mentally, it’s the drain of bad management and feeling like you’re wasting your time.”

12. I have to try this.

“Throwing dough to make pizza.. and pretty much the rest of the pizza making process.

Getting the dough into a round 18″ pie is tricky. Then getting the sauce even and not on the crust is a process. And getting all of it done as quickly as possible…

After several hundred pizzas I can crank them out pretty good now though.”

13. It’s ain’t easy!

“Snowboarding.

I grew up on skis and when I tried snowboarding, I literally just rolled down the entire mountain like a slinky on the stairs.”

14. Looking for the right one.

“Falling in love with the RIGHT person.

My mom used to tell me to be careful who you date because you can fall in love with anyone.

Fell for many frogs before my hubs came along and we’re close to our 13th anniversary.”

How about you?

What did you think would be easy until you tried it?

Tell us your stories in the comments. Thanks!

The post People Admit What They Thought Would Be Easy Until They Tried It appeared first on UberFacts.

What’s the Dumbest Thing Someone Has Said to You? Here’s How People Responded.

I’m really trying to rack my brain about the dumbest thing someone has ever said to me and I gotta say that it’s pretty hard to narrow it down because there are so many qualified candidates.

I guess I’m just blessed…

Are you ready to meet some dummies?

Let’s dig in to some stories from AskReddit users.

1. Well, that’s odd…

“I work in a Government building, one day one of my college educated coworkers asked why there are doctors in the building moving furniture.

Having no clue what she was talking about I asked and she said you know all the guys in scrubs with DOC on the back.

We had hired prisoners to help clear the offices for renovation. DOC was for Department of Correction.”

2. Shocked.

“I was staying at a homestay/language center in South Korea last summer.

I was hanging around with some people and were chatting in English. One lovely lady, with all seriousness, said straight to my face that I don’t look like I’d speak English.

I mean…I’m ethnic Chinese and hold an ASEAN passport but English is a lingua franca like WE LEARN ENGLISH OVER HERE OKAY?

Anyway, sorry for surprising/shocking/amazing/disappointing you?”

3. Not really.

“I’m Jewish and while talking to someone about Hannukah, they said “Oh, that’s the Jewish Christmas.”

Ummm, no.”

4. It’s not fair!

“A student of mine wrote in the class evaluation: “One teacher doesn’t accept wrong answers.”

Still haunts me to this day….”

5. History buff.

“Guy online insisted the millions dead during WWII died only of Typhus.

I pointed out that guards would have died too, plus we had eyewitness accounts and testimony under oath from those who had “gassed” prisoners.

He refused to believe it.”

6. Oh, that’s why?

“I didn’t hear it, but apparently a kid in my social studies test said that Africans came here from Africa because it was better for people and they needed help.

My teacher literally called him an idiot. I’m talking about the slave trade, guys.”

7. SCIENCE.

“Someone in my 8th grade honors science asked the teacher “If we had 86 chromosomes, would we be a duck?”

The teacher and the rest of the class had a good laugh on that one.”

8. Only three states.

“A Puerto Rican girl friend of mine (living in the Bronx at the time) once said, in a group discussion about the different states we had visited, that she had only been to 3 states: New York, New Jersey, and upstate New York. (wait, what???)”

9. When’s Christmas?

“Back around the mid 1990s, when the internet was becoming common in homes, I used to chat in chat rooms.

I chatted to a girl who was about 20 at the time, from the US (me being in Australia.). She was talking about the heat, and I said it was winter here. I said our seasons were the opposite of the US.

So she says “So it’s summer in December there?”, I say yes, then she asks, in all seriousness, “Well when do you have Christmas, then?”.

Definitely the dumbest thing I’ve been asked, and still remember it 20 odd years later.”

10. Makes sense.

“I was in 5th grade and this kid sad that Jesus and Santa Claus are actually brothers but Santa left His family and did drugs.”

11. We need to talk.

“We went to Colorado and my brother back in Maryland, where it was fall, asked if it was summer in Colorado.”

12. That’s all it took.

“That apes evolved into humans when they learned to cook.”

13. You need some new friends.

“I have a friend who pretends to be rich, and once I told her about how I sometimes get bored of watching TV and she said, “well go outside and play on your go-carts, DUH. Oh yeah, you don’t have go-carts.”

Another time another friend (who was not very nice) told me I shouldn’t have given her a gift because I used it before. I said I was sorry to avoid an argument because she was always fighting with me, but I still want that thing back!”

14. Jeez.

“In the military, I had over a year of training in my highly technical field.

At my first duty station, I was sent to the Top Sergeants’ office and told since I was female, I would be working there, typing up documents. I replied that I couldn’t type, but I could repair the typewriter since I was trained in electronics repair.

They sent me back to the shop and got a trained office clerk.”

How about you?

What’s the stupidest thing that someone has ever said to you?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post What’s the Dumbest Thing Someone Has Said to You? Here’s How People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss the Dumbest Thing a Person Has Ever Said to Them

What do you think is the dumbest thing a person has ever said to you?

I want you to think long and hard for a minute…

Okay, what did you come up with? Actually, hold that thought and save your stories for the comments section.

But first…

Let’s take a look at some really dumb things people actually said to folks from AskReddit.

1. A bright one.

“My sister, at 17 and a half years of age, said: “Is that why they’re called containers? Because they contain things?””

2. Not here to serve you.

“When I was around 10 my older brother had a friend who hung out at our place a lot.

One day as I walked through the room where the two of them were watching TV the friend stopped me. Apart from saying hello we never talked to each other before. He said I could pop into the kitchen and make some pancakes for them.

I said I wasn’t there to serve them and I didn’t even know how to make bloody pancakes. His stunned answer: “but… you’re a girl!””

3. The periodic table.

“A girl in 8th grade honors science asks, after our pleas and explanations that she shouldn’t embarrass herself, raises her hand and asks so the entire class can hear, “Why isn’t wood on the periodic table?”

I never liked her anyways.”

4. Not sure what that means.

“I overheard a kid in middle school tell his friend that Canadian hippies are legal when they cross the US/Canada border.”

5. It was faked!

“Get this: the moon landing was faked by Russian scientists trying to get us not to go to the moon.

And all of the astronauts were replaced by Russian clones.

Said by a kid in class…”

6. Science class.

“In 7th grade science, we were learning about fossils. Not a super in depth lesson, but just how they are created and how the affect the earth.

If you’ve never heard about Lucy, she was apparently found in a lake bed, fossilized from about 3 million years ago. She is one of the first “humanoid thingies” ever found.

Anyway, so we watched a video about her, and then the whole class was talking and suddenly a girl raised her hand and said, “how do they know what her name was?” and we had to legit explain it to her that scientists named her.

She was serious.”

7. Major eye roll.

“I am the product of an Irish American father and a Mexican mother (she is still a Mexican citizen).

In grade school, with mostly a Hispanic population, I was told that my mother was not Mexican because she wasn’t brown and didn’t have an accent.

My mom grew up speaking 3 languages, including English, from childhood. All I could do was roll my eyes at the ignorance.”

8. They’re out there…

“A friend of mine tried to convince me that mermaids were real.

His reasoning was because he saw the mockumentary about mermaids on discovery channel and were convinced they were real.

I expected that from my 6 year old niece but not from a 29 year old man.”

9. How rude!

“When I was 12 someone in my class asked if we could be friends.

I said no because she screamed at me every time I was late to class but then called me rude if I talked back (she was one of those kids that thought she was a teacher).

She said “BuT yOu ShOuLdN’t NoT bE fRiEnDs WiTh SoMeOnE jUsT bEcAuSe ThEy’Ve BeEn MeAn To YoU””

10. The trifecta.

“The earth is flat, the moon landing was fake, and my all time favorite, Karens aren’t a threat to society.”

11. Good Lord.

“My friend was pressuring me to take off my mask, she kept saying inhaling your own germs can kill you, especially when you’re breathing heavy.

Let’s just say, we don’t get along as well as we used to anymore.”

12. Wrong!

“”I went on a vacation to Hawaii and swam with Tortoises.”

This was my teacher, and he wouldn’t believe me that Tortoises couldn’t swim even after I looked it up.

He though Turtles from Hawaii were called Tortoises.”

13. Mullet lady.

“One time I was at Petco with my parrots and some random lady came and told me ”The only animal that should be here are dogs and they must have a face covering on”.

I know this sounds fake but this lady was wearing a mullet anything is possible.”

How about you?

What do you think is the stupidest thing someone has ever said to you?

Talk to us in the comments!

The post People Discuss the Dumbest Thing a Person Has Ever Said to Them appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Stupidest Thing Someone Has Ever Said to Them

The world is full of…folks who aren’t too bright…

And we’re about to meet a whole bunch of them! Because people were nice enough to go on the record and share the stupidest things that folks have ever said to them.

Let’s get stupid with some folks on AskReddit!

1. Don’t assume.

“I was at McDonald’s a couple of years ago inside with my mom. She let me order, and I asked for a happy meal and listed everything I wanted in that meal and then I said “Oh! And can I please have the dragon toy?”

Because, beyond my wildest dreams, McDonald’s finally had a plastic dragon. But the employee said “Don’t you want the girl prize?” and held up some weird fruit scented doll.

FIRST off, please don’t assume gender (even though I am female), and second, ENOUGH WITH THE GENDER SORTING, I LIKE DRAGONS AND NOT DOLLS, OKAY!?!?”

2. Evolution.

“When discussing human evolution I said that all modern humans descended from Africans. A Croat chipped in and said ‘except Croatians, we are autochthons’.

I asked him to explain and he said that Croatians independently appeared in Croatia, without evolving from monkeys or descending from Africans.

I literally did not known where to begin, such was the historical and anthropological disconnect. I can only surmise that there is a strange sect of fact-free nationalism to which he subscribed.”

3. Wait, it’s not?

“My ex sister-in-law thought Canada was in France, cause they speak French….

Seriously!!

4. I’m not buying it.

“Somebody once told me, if a person knows how to say “hello” “my name is” “good morning” in a language, they are fluent and can now speak to natives.

Apparently the person who told me this is a polyglot who knows 40 languages…”

5. That’s a hot take.

“Brown eggs are healthier since they haven’t gotten bleached…into white eggs.”

6. All really dumb.

“1. Men are superior to women

2. That LGBTQ+ people are going to burn in hell (I’m a lesbian)

3. That atheists are going to burn in hell (I’m an atheist)

4. And a bunch of other racist/s*xist/h*mophobic BS.”

7. Brilliant!

“A friend said that the Super Bowl has been around longer than the United States because there have been 54 Super Bowls and only 45 Presidents.”

8. You can’t do that!

“Believe it or not, I worked with a guy who told me you cannot take a photo of a rainbow. No really, he was dead serious.

Now this was way back in the day when the only computers were the kind that filled an entire room, had to have noisy (I wore earplugs and it saved my hearing!) air conditioning on a raised floor, and ran just one job at a time.

Because PCs and PDAs had not been invented yet, I had to wait until the next day to bring in my photographs of rainbows, to which he said that they must have been drawn in like a painting…”HELLO VILLAGE…we found your IDIOT!””

9. Let me remind you…

“My second child was a planned cesarean. Then doctor who performed the surgery also tied my tubes at that time, as we didn’t want any more children.

I saw him frequently during the pregnancy. I went in for my 6 week checkup and he asked what I was doing for birth control. I said nothing. He then lectured me on not getting pregnant again too soon.

I reminded him of my surgery. I actually started laughing.”

10. Good to know.

“Mormons have babies because all of the spirit children are trapped in a cloud, so they have a bunch of kids to save them.”

11. Not sure…

“In 4th grade, I remember someone asking me, “What’s Obama’s last name?”

I replied with “Leslie”.”

12. Oh, really?

“White people can’t have brown eyes.”

13. Here we go…

I am a woman working in I.T. so I have a million of them.

One that stands out was the woman who called in a rage because her new pc wasn’t working. When I tried to help she told me she would rather “talk to one of the men.” She refused to co-operate with me when I asked her questions and was incredibly rude to me.

Turns out that her monitor was turned off. Normally I wouldn’t bill for something like that, but her attitude cost her a half hour labour charge.”

14. Hmmmm.

“My friend started dating with a 40-something, divorced man. He said with all seriousness that women don’t f*rt because they don’t have bowels.

He lived with a woman for years, they had a daughter together… My friend was anything but shy so she promptly illustrated the fact that we do indeed have digestive systems…

Same friend worked as a waitress and one of her colleagues were working on a crossword puzzle. My friend looked at her puzzle and said that the three letter “mammal living in water” is likely not “HAL” (fish in Hungarian) but “CET” (whale in Hungarian). The girl looked at her, thought for a second then came back with “well maybe, but HAL fits into 3 squares!”.

Another colleague of her was feeling very poorly one day, she kept throwing up. They had the following discussion:
– Don’t you think you might be pregnant?
– Naaah, that’s impossible!
– Oh, I thought you had a live in boyfriend.
– Yeah.
– And you have two kids so you certainly are not barren, right?
– Yeah.
– Did you have your tubes tied or he had a vasectomy?
– No.
– So you two like… don’t have s*x?
– Yeah, we do, all the time.
– And do you use protection?
– No, he doesn’t like that.
– So then how is it impossible?!”

Okay, now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us about the stupidest thing someone has ever said to you.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post People Share the Stupidest Thing Someone Has Ever Said to Them appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss How They Deal With Their Depression

We’re in the dark, freezing months of the year right now and this is when depression really rears its ugly head for a lot of people out there.

Gray skies, more hours of darkness, and freezing temperatures can really do a number on peoples’ mental health so it’s important to take care of yourself.

How do you cope with your depression?

Let’s see what folks on AskReddit had to say about this.

1. Seems to work.

“I like to go outside and write songs.

I act like I’m someone important that people need to survive.

It’s weird, but it works sometimes.”

2. The little things.

“I don’t suffer from major depression, so I know that this may seem rather flyweight. I go for walks.

I put my favorite music on while I’m driving and sing along. If I’m at home (alone–I get embarrassed), I’ll put on some really fun music and dance. I watch stand-up comedy for a laugh.

I’ll allow myself to indulge in some nice chocolate. And I give myself small tasks that I can easily accomplish and pat myself on the back for getting them done.”

3. Depression lies.

“I stubbornly keep on breathing and I ignore everything my head thinks.

Depression lies.

I have a check list on the fridge of things I forget: keep warm, drink tea, take Zinc, being overwhelmed is a symptom you are quite fierce in reality, wear hat, eat proteins before noon, brush teeth before noon.”

4. Dealing with it.

“I have been struggling with anxiety and depression throughout all of Middle School, and into High School. Except no one knows about it, so everyone just thinks I’m fine.

But I don’t talk about it, because I am concerned about how people would react. Which really just makes everything worse. But some things I have done to help my self. I focus on the things that I do have. I am lonely and don’t have many friends but, I realized that thinking senselessly about the people who don’t care about me, doesn’t help at all and makes things worse.

But focusing on who cares about me, make me feel happy and cared for. Additionally, I have started a journal to record my thoughts that I have, when I go through a mental breakdown. Writing it down, helps me think about it more, and cope with it.”

5. Belt it out.

“I sing.

I get anxious a lot and have problems because of it. But when I sing I feel like all my problems are gone.

Also, I read! When I read I’m not me anymore, I’m the book character and that takes all my problems away.”

6. Clear your head.

“I like to walk around outside, I feel like it clears my thoughts.

One of my main things to do is to pour all of my emotions into something physical, ie a drawing, and then destroy it. Listen to happy music, read, take a bath are standard go-to’s. Hope this helps!

And remember you’re loved, wanted and needed in this world. also If you feeling suicidal please call a hotline, the world needs you.”

7. All kinds of things.

“I like to sit and think. some times I will draw and listen to music. I will play my favorite video games and chat with friends. but my favorite thing to do was to make up a new friend in my head then I would talk to them as if they were a therapist.

I like to do that because I feel it is easier to talk and vent to some that are not real then to talk to someone that might tell others. I do this a lot for more than just depression and it really helps if you have.

People say that I’m too old for an “imaginary friend” but I mean they are there for when you are sad and don’t want to talk o someone that’s real.”

8. Comforting.

“I do things that comfort me.

I mostly just watch RuPaul’s drag race, eat food and play video games.

I honestly just ignore it and let it build up. It’s not healthy but I like it.”

9. Ways to survive.

“I’ve dealt with major depression for almost 20 years now. A few ways I survive:

1. Give my dog (who’s passed away, so now my cat) a hug. I also talk(ed) to them

2. Read. Live in that world instead of mine

3. Listen to music

4. Journal (including keeping a gratitude journal), and just go back and reread

5. Sleep, so I don’t feel anything.”

10. Very aware.

“I try not to give myself to much importance. Meaning it’s okay not to succeed or to miss work.

The world doesn’t revolves around you. You are not that important.

For me, it takes all the stress off my shoulder and I can just simply be instead of doing and having.”

11. Escape from reality.

“Reading sci-fi and fantasy adventure books, the further they are from our reality, the better.

Also working with my hands, and doing something good for others (I’m currently renovating my mom’s apartment).”

12. Whatever works for you.

“I have depression & anxiety.

I used to believe it when I was told by media in various forms and by specialists that working or volunteering in something you care about, always helps people with depression. It Doesn’t. Never believe that something Helps Everyone. I had a breakdown, then started volunteering after a while – that caused things to get worse.

How do I cope with depression? I read, if I’m reading I can mostly forget the real world, my real situation, my real future, I feel a bit better. My other coping mechanism is to sleep, even with nightmares sleep is far better than being awake.

If the anxiety worsens at the same time as the depression and becomes very, very bad I lie on my bed and look out the window. I can’t do anything else except get to the bathroom as needed. It’s like a weird paralysis.

In years past, I would cope with depression by drawing a picture daily of how my day had been. Write down 5 good things each day. Write. Just write. Thoughts, fears, worries, hopes, regrets, anything.

Lie on the lounge with my doona and a pillow while my mother did things and I would just watch and we would talk unless I was too bad, then I just observed and Mum did her things and talked to me.”

Now we’d like to hear from you

In the comments, share some tips that you use to deal with depression.

Thanks in advance!

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