Category: ask reddit

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15 People Who Definitely Lost the Genetic Lottery

Genetics are a tricky thing. You could live your best life, eat healthy, exercise, avoid drinking and smoking and still end up with some horrible disease.

It’s tragic, but true.

In this AskReddit article, people share how they believe genetics cheated them.

1. Bad knees

“Knees. They just don’t work properly, even after the operations to keep them from dislocating. They always hurt.”

2. Squinting

“My ‘Beautiful’ light green eyes are so bad at denying light that I constantly squint, which leads to headaches.”

3. Damn him!

“Unibrow. My younger brother has thin half-eyebrows. Me (F) has one long, thick and bushy brow that goes from one hairline clear across to the other.

That rat bastard brother is also nearly completely hairless on his arms and legs. And blond.

That f*cker.”

4. Ugh

“My fathers family has early onset dementia, my mother’s family all live to be 100.

So I’m destined to lose my mind at 50, and spend the next half century wondering were I left it.”

5. No fun

“I’m Arab on my mum’s side and Italian on my dad’s.Basically I have to spend a lot of money on hair removal.

I’m a woman, for everyone asking.”

6. That sucks

“Severe acne.

Looking back over old family photos, it seems to be a common feature. At least it’ll clear up at some point.”

7. Rough

“Psoriasis all over my torso/legs/scalp.

It’s kinda weird to bring it up on a first date as well, so I got ghosted an awful lot before finally getting it under control.”

8. Bummer

“My orthodontist legit said I had a monkey face and that my jaw kinda went outwards and she said the surgery wouldnt be so costly, only for my dad to say we couldn’t afford it. Hits hard sometimes.”

9. Take care of yourself

“Both my grandfathers dropped dead at age 59.

Both from cerebral hemorrhages.

I have high blood pressure.

I’ll turn 52 this summer.

Tic, toc.”

10. One way…

“I am 6 ft tall and have the wingspan of someone who is 5’4. Basically a human T-rex.”

11. That’s strange

“My great-grandfather had 3 kidneys. I’ve had kidney problems since I was a baby.”

12. That’s not good

“Absolutely shitty teeth. Some people don’t have to wear braces. It was crucial for me to wear them but my parents weren’t educated enough on the matter to make me wear them. So now, at 28 i’ve had more teeth surgeries than i can count, finally have them straight but the price and the pain i had to endure for them is 20 times more than i would have 20 years ago.”

13. And the other…

“I’m 6’2 and have the wingspan of someone who’s 6’6. I look like fucking slender man.”

14. Luck of the draw

“Twin Gets Nothing, I Get:

•Colour Blindness

•3rd-Generation Acne

•HyperMobility

•Muscle Spasms

•Creaking Bones

•4th-Generation Early Arthritis”

15. Bad news

“I’m a woman. I have a hot mom but came out looking like my dad.”

The post 15 People Who Definitely Lost the Genetic Lottery appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Who Met Celebrities and Had NO Idea Who They Were

This is a classic, classic move and if you’ve pulled it off before, I salute you.

Here’s a fun game: if you ever meet a celebrity or are in their presence, act like you have absolutely no idea who they are. It’s really fun!

That’s what these AskReddit users did. Bravo!

1. That’s nice

“This happened yesterday! My wife took my son to the zoo, and he wanted to read every little plaque in the reptile area. My wife was distracted for a moment, so he asked the nearest stranger to read the plaque for him. My wife turned around to see Scarlett Johansson happily reading the info to him.”

2. On with your day

“My dad met Robin Williams in an elevator. He got in and they rode a few floors in silence. They stopped on a floor and s bunch of fans ran in and started getting pics with Robin. My dad said he was gracious and took pics with everyone.

The doors closed and they rode a few more floors and my dad turned and said “does that ever get old?” and Robin smiled and said “Nope. Never.” Then my dad got off on his floor and they nodded to one another and my dad went on with his day.”

3. Hahaha

“My mom is a big sports fan. One time she was shopping at and saw a really large, fit looking man who she didn’t immediately recognize but seemed familiar.

She thought it must of been a professional football player or something, so she went up to the only other person in the shop, who was this smaller wierd-looking guy, and asked him if he knew who the athletic looking man was. The short guy looked at my mom and said “That’s my bodyguard, I’m Elton John.”

4. Shaq Attaq

“I (almost literally) ran into Shaq at a small restaurant in LA. He was standing in the doorway. You know how some people are so tall you don’t “see” them? So I’m exiting the doorway, and say “excuse me man” and he stepped aside so I could leave. He is one large human being.”

5. No cuts

“My mom yelled at Pierce Brosnan. She and my dad were at a ski resort getting lunch. My mother gets quite hangry (an unfortunate trait I inherited) and was waiting in line to order. Right as she’s about to order a guy tried to cut in front of her and interrupt her.

She snapped and told him to go to the back of the line like everyone else. She got her food and went back to my dad sitting there mouth wide open in shock.

“Do you know who that was?”

“No?!”

“That was Pierce Brosnan. You just yelled at James bond”

“Well he shouldn’t have tried to cut me”

6. That’s who that was…

“I was 10 years old in 2002 when my mom took me to the Bronx Zoo for the first time. It was a rainy day so we practically had the whole place to ourselves except for 3 British kids running around, chaperoned by a woman. My mom quickly befriended the woman while I made like a kid and joined the hoard, looking at spiders and scorpians and sharing in the awe and excitement of the animals.

After about an hour when we said our goodbyes, my mother told me that the kid, Daniel, who I had been hanging out with had played Harry Potter in the movie that came out last year.

I had thought he looked familiar.”

7. You don’t know Jack

“My cousin rode a ski lift with Jack Black in Vail. Just the two of them. Her husband and I were in the lift behind them, freaking out. When we got off the lift they’d gone their separate ways. We made our way to her she was like “wow, that guy on my lift was so nice.” We were like NO SHIT THAT WAS JACK BLACK. She was like “THE SCHOOL OF ROCK GUY?!?!”

She was so embarrassed. She said she rambled on about living in Iowa for most of their conversation. We laughed our asses off.”

8. I know you…

“I worked at a movie theater in Albuquerque at the time they we’re filming the first avengers film. Captain America was about to come out, I remember because we had the huge standee of him in the lobby. I was reading in the box office when three people came up. Guy asked for 3 tickets to Bridesmaids.

It was dark out and he had a green baseball cap and sunglasses. He paid with a credit card. Christopher Evans. I stared at the card after I swiped it. Handed it back. “I need you to sign the receipt” he did. And then he walked in.”

9. Oh, Mom

“My friend’s mom (over 70yrs old) owns a small asian grocery store. Post Malone came walking in with his girlfriend and his mom had no idea who he was. A few cute things happened:

She was nervous because of his tattoos, but happy/not worried once he bought a lot of food. She had no idea he was a celebrity.

She gave him a free snack for buying so much food and told him to come back for lunchtime for cheap and tasty gyoza (he did come back the next day!)

She was worried he would get mugged going to his car because of 3 big men outside so she followed him outside (they were his bodyguards)

She really liked his “cool car” (it was a lamborghini)

She told my friend about the encounter that evening and he pulled up a youtube video based on the description – it was him. When Post Malone came back the next day for Gyoza she got a selfie with him (it’s on my friends phone so I don’t have the picture available right now). Whole thing is adorable with how innocent his mom is.”

10. Curb your enthusiasm

“I was a student athlete in college and was required to “volunteer” a certain number of hours per year. One of the options was to help freshmen move in, which I obviously chose so I could scope out the new talent.

I just finished helping move a kid’s stuff and head back to the loading area, and a black SUV pulls up. Out hops Larry David, his ex-wife, and their daughter who was starting school. I immediately recognized him but played it cool, he wasn’t getting a ton of recognition since I’m guessing not many college students are fans of Curb/Seinfeld.

I introduced myself to them all and he introduced himself and said “Hi, I’m Larry,” and mentioned they were from LA. I replied and said “I used to live in LA, and you look really familiar. Did we meet?” To which he replied “No, I’m just one of those faces,” and gave me a huge wink.

He was cracking jokes the entire move and introducing himself to everyone just as Larry. Just as funny in person as he is on TV. After finishing the move he was nice enough to take a pic with me. Great guy, and the only major celebrity I’ve ever met.”

11. Nice tip

“I used to be a server at a Mexican restaurant right outside LA in the late 90s. One day Leonardo DiCaprio came in with who I assume was his mom to have lunch. This would’ve been post Titanic so really at the peak of his breakthrough mega celeb status.

He was wearing a ball cap, sunglasses and unshaven but I recognized him anyway. I didn’t let anyone know and I wrote something like “your movies are awesome, I hope you liked our food” on his receipt when I dropped it off at the table.

After he left, I swung by and picked up his payment and he had left me a note back that said “thank you so much for not blowing my cover” with a $100 tip. Shit was awesome I was only like 19, I went and got some Playstation games with it after my shift ended.”

12. Chris Rock

“In the Mid 90’s I was a cab driver. Our service was like a cross between a limo and a taxi, and we serviced some fancy resorts. As I dropped off my passenger at a resort, another guy asks if I’m a taxi, and I say yes, so he tells his friend their cab is here.

His friend got in the car and said “this ain’t no cab, smells too good to be a cab” in that unmistakable Chris Rock voice.

He and his friend just bullshitted with each other for the ~15 minute drive to a local night club. There was a white kid trying to talk to a yellow-cab driver ahead of us in the parking lot and Chris Rock started imitating the kid, like “I need a ride, yeah, I’m drunk, but I need a ride”, and I was trying really hard not to laugh out loud.

He wasn’t nearly as famous yet at the time, but I had seen his stand up routines on Comedy Central and knew exactly who he was, but didn’t go fan-boy on him.

10/10 would drive Chris Rock again.”

13. What should I say?

“I was at IKEA in Vancouver and noticed this lady in a low hanging hat had dropped something. I helped her pick it up and noticed it was Sarah McLachlan. Didn’t let on that I knew who she was because I couldn’t think of anything to say.”

14. JT

“I met Justin Timberlake and had no idea it was him until someone told me afterwards. Went to a basketball game with my dad and we stopped by the bar area in the arena first. The game had just started so it was pretty empty except for the bar itself.

My dad goes to the restroom and I walk up to the bar to order a beer. There’s only one seat at the bar next to a guy in a baseball cap and sunglasses. I politely ask if the seat is taken and he just says “nope, it’s all you, man.” We shoot the shit for a couple minutes.

He’s sitting on my right and eventually he says he and his wife are going to go to their seats. He extends his hand and asks my name. I tell him and ask his name. He says, “Justin. Nice to meet you dude, have a good night.”

He and his wife leave and the bartender comes up to me and says, “You know that was Justin Timberlake, right?”

I immediately did a double take and couldn’t believe I didn’t recognize him even with the hat and sunglasses. I told my girlfriend at the time who was a huge Justin Timberlake fan and she couldn’t believe I met him without knowing it was him. She wouldn’t let it go for like a month.

EDIT: To answer some questions, this was a Memphis Grizzlies game and no the bartender wasn’t messing with me because during one of the timeouts, they showed him on camera and had him come on to the court to wave at fans and hype the crowd up etc. I don’t think he expected them to do that and didn’t like it because he left at halftime. Probably just wanted to go to a game without being hounded by fans or something.

EDIT 2: I never got a good look at Jessica Biel. She was wearing sunglasses as well but she didn’t say anything at all during our conversation and since I didn’t even realize I was talking to Justin Timberlake, I wasn’t about to gawk at this random beautiful woman while talking to her husband. ?

EDIT 3: I’m aware JT is a part owner of the Grizzlies. I’m not sure if I’m right about why he left at halftime in my first edit above. That’s just a complete guess given that 1) he left, 2) I’m assuming he didn’t want to be recognized with the hat and sunglasses and 3) he obviously goes to plenty of Grizzlies games and usually he isn’t trying to hide his face, assuming that’s what he was trying to do this time around. But who knows. He could’ve left the game early for any number of reasons.”

15. We’re from California

“I helped Steven Spielberg move his daughter’s bags into her college dorm.

I was working a shift helping first-years move in and I see a guy in a hat and sunglasses who is unmistakably Spielberg. I strike up a conversation, ask if he needs help with the bags, etc. First names only — “We’re from CA. My wife, Kate, and I sent all our kids to East Coast schools though.” Stuff like that.

Later, when his daughter opened the door for the first time, he whipped out a camcorder and, wearing the biggest Dad grin, recorded the whole thing before turning the camera on my friend and me to ask us about the city.

So, I have a supporting (the luggage), speaking role in a limited release (home movie) film shot by Steven Spielberg.”

The post 15 People Who Met Celebrities and Had NO Idea Who They Were appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Reveal the Moment That Ended Their Last Relationships

Fact: relationships are fluid. They’re constantly evolving, sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. And sometimes it just needs to end but one spark is needed to send a relationship over the edge to its death.

In this AskReddit article, people opened up about the tipping points in their last relationship. Hang on tight!

1. That’s a GOOD tipping point

“When she drove 4 hours to meet me at the hospital where my mom was dying. We had not been together for long but she comforted me in such a way that i could never forget. I knew I loved her and I married her 1 year later.”

2. That’s awful

“He and I had this moment, lying on the bed, listening to some music, in my room, while the sun was setting, the city buzzing away below us, after a long day and I felt this wholesome feeling, like I knew where I belonged. And right then and there, he looks at me and said: “if you ever leave me, I’m gonna make your life a fucking hell.”

Guess I belonged far far away from him.”

3. Can’t stop, won’t stop

“She wouldn’t stop sleeping with her ex boyfriend and then decided to marry him. She told me this via text.”

4. I can breathe again

“Month after month after month, excuses why he couldn’t pay rent. And yet he would spend all his income on eating out, online gaming memberships, etc. Would also try to guilt trip me into getting him stuff constantly. 1 day we went to visit relatives in another state during the week before xmas and my uncle snapped.

He told him off about how he’s manipulative and can see that what he does has dragged me down as a serious burden. I didn’t attempt to intervene, he was absolutely right. And after we left, ex bitched me out for not stepping up for him. We broke up the day after and suddenly I felt like I could breathe again.”

5. Karma

“He was going out during the night to see two other girls. TWO. And when I saw him during the morning he would be tired as hell (because obviously he was out) and tell me he had sleeping issues. I found out he was cheating on me with the two girls when they both saw me hugging him and went to scream at me. For the karma part, the three of us agreed to leave him and not talk to him again, and I’m still a friend with one of them.”

6. Makes me feel sick

“She would threaten me with physical violence and self harm for years if I ever left her, I was made to choose between my friends or her, certain threats made if I’d choose friends over her etc. having to be in contact with her at all times if I wasn’t with her, going through my phone and years of messages with my closest friends whilst I’m asleep etc, deciding who I could follow on Instagram, be friends with on Facebook based off how attractive they were or if she deemed them as a ‘threat’ etc. even if they were long term friends – Makes me feel sick thinking about it all again.

Crazy shit. I was younger and didn’t realise how abusive she really was – lost a lot of friends because of her.

She eventually did another one of her ‘fake’ break ups and I decided not to crawl back to the person that would always tell me that no one else would ever love me etc. said “Okay, I’ll pick up my stuff tomorrow” or something along those lines and then she obviously freaked out realising I wasn’t falling for her tricks and playing into her usual games. Haven’t seen or heard from her in four years now.”

7. Ugggghhhhh

“I was leaving the gym and told her I would be over to her apartment in about 45 minutes after I showered. I kid you not, at the 45 minute mark she was texting me upset that I wasn’t there yet. I apologized and told her I had to go to the bathroom so its taking a little longer but I was on my way and almost there. Showed up at about the 50 minute mark, she would not open the door beyond leaving the security latch attached, and only to tell me to fuck off.

So, after about 5 minutes of trying to reason with her to let me in and her responding that she didn’t want to hang out anymore because I took too long because I was probably talking to “some hoe at the gym”, i decided to leave. When I got back to my apartment I figured might as well entertain myself and play some video games. About 40 minutes later she shows up to my place banging on the door. I happily open the door thinking she changed her mind!

She sees that I was clearly playing video games and enjoying a glass of wine, walks over and picks up the wine and throws it on the ground pissed off that I found something to do other than stare at the wall because she didn’t want to hang out with me. She sees how in shock I am at her reaction and tries to brush up the broken wine glass with her bare hands. She is bleeding and crying and im in shock and pleading with her to stop because she is tearing her hands up. I suggest she leaves and that was the last time we were in the same room together. What a whirlwind of a relationship that on was!”

8. Not treating her right

“He kept treating his dance partner better than me (would take her out for drinks to try she hadn’t before, took her shopping with him, post photos of her online, etc) but wouldn’t hold my hand in public, nothing about me on social media whatsoever (totes fine but if you go on and on about how great your dance partner is and making it seem like your girlfriend doesn’t exist, it doesn’t feel great), etc.

I have no issue with female friends or dance partners, but don’t pay for dinner and drinks with them and then have your girlfriend pays for every single date night (I dropped $70 for a movie night, $40 of which were his drinks).

Dude still hits me up whining about how we could’ve worked out, how he misses my cat, etc. I dumped him over a year ago.”

9. Not gonna get better

“Things had been going downhill for a long time, and we ended up in marriage counseling, which was actually what did us in. Sitting in a room with her refusing to listen to me and her own counselor about things going on in our relationship really clued me in to fact that things weren’t going to get better.”

10. Paint colors?

“We moved into a house together and things were a little on the rocks, but I figured I could work a little harder and she would too. I had my doubts as she was a control freak and really only took what I said about things at face value (really saw that later on after we split). We had a huge fight about the living room paint color.

She said it was just awful and couldn’t put up with it. We went round and round about it for a week or so until I finally just decided I could concede on this one, but that I got to choose the bedroom color. She described it as a cream color, but like adding too much creamer to coffee. “Disgusted” was her word for it I want to say. Anywho, I’m standing in the paint aisle on my day off and utterly exhausted from a week of work and remodeling. I’m dead ass tired and she’s combing through the paint swatches.

She finds the color and we get it mixed. We end up in an argument in the car as I’m opting for bed and she wants to paint. I told her it is better to do it during the day so we can open the windows and let it air out better. It was currently raining and I didn’t want water marks. It escalated and grew until she finally just got so pissed that she left. I decided to be nice and start painting the opposing window wall to at least show her I heard her thoughts. I got it all mixed up and dipped the roller.

Rolled over once and it all hit me at the exact same time: I was sick of her and her controlling attitude. I was done feeling like an ass for things I didn’t do wrong. I was tired of living her dream life. You know why it hit me? That paint was the exact same damn color as the wall.”

11. That’s a dealbreaker

“When my now ex-wife was arrested for having a sexual relationship with one of her female students…”

12. Didn’t learn a lesson

“She just kept getting drunk and going crazy. I had to call the police on her because she took a bunch of pills when I left during one of her binges. She would call me at night often, drunk as hell and yell at me, and then threaten to cut herself when I refused to come over at 1 in the morning. She still drinks to this day.”

13. Addiction

“His crack addiction reared its ugly head – after he was clean for more than a year.”

14. Lies

“She started telling me how she had to defend me to my friends after I had to miss watching a show with them to go into work. My friends told me that wasn’t true and she spent the entire time shit talking me.”

15. Refusing to get help

“I got tired of carrying her to bed after her nightly binge drinking. Also, her complete denial of being an alcoholic and refusing to get help.”

The post 15 People Reveal the Moment That Ended Their Last Relationships appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Couples Who Went from Married to Divorced Way Too Fast

These situations are always extremely uncomfortable. Not only for the couple actually imploding before your eyes, but for all the bystanders.

And that’s where you come in. These sordid AskReddit tales all detail stories of people witnessing marriages symbolically coming to an end.

Hang on tight!

1. 6 long months

“My friend married this woman after years of dating. They were together about 6 months, then on their first Christmas, he got her a present and she got him nothing. Later that night she left their house and didn’t come back until the next morning.

Apparently she had made an account on some dating site on Christmas, met a guy, and slept with him that night. She came clean the next day, but that was the end of their 6 month marriage.”

2. Oh my…

“Not sure how long it took the divorce to actually happen, but I went to a wedding where the bride didn’t go home with the groom afterwards. There wasn’t any cheating, she just decided she didn’t want to be a military wife. They were together before he enlisted, so I think part of it was that she wasn’t ready to move away from her family. It just sucked that she waited until that day to tell anyone.”

3. Holy sh*t

“Next door neighbor got married. Less than 2 months later she moved out, said he was abusive and a drunk. A couple of weeks later he shot and killed their neighbor through the front door after an escalating feud involving the neighbor’s dog getting shot with a bow and arrow.”

4. No sexting, please

“I went to a wedding where the bride got drunk and the groom picked up her phone and saw that she was sexting a coworker during the entire wedding… He told the officiant to not file the paperwork. Great reception though.

Edit: This occurred at the end of the reception as they were leaving to go to the honeymoon suite (the story is she was very drunk and her phone kept getting notifications so he picked it up). They did not go on their honeymoon and they returned the gifts to everyone. The guests weren’t told about what happened for a couple weeks as the bride was trying to save the relationship. I was also not privy to the legality of the nuptials not being submitted to the city clerk, so I can’t help on that front.”

5. A special day

“My wife’s family’s neighbor’s daughter got married and threw a huge wedding day bash like spent 50-70 grand. Then not even 2 weeks later got divorced. She had been cheating on her husband throughout the engagement but still wanted her ‘special day’. I heard later on that she had asked her mom if she had to live with her husband after they got married.”

6. Sad all around

“A relative of mine was forced into a shotgun wedding. The bride had a miscarriage, so they got divorced a month later.”

7. Meth is bad for you

“The husband had an unsolicited outburst at a family dinner, “I KNOW YOU GUYS KNOW I DO METH! AND YOU NEED TO BACK OFF ABOUT IT!” wife didn’t know; her dad didn’t know; nobody knew.”

8. Time to fly in the lawyers

“Some friends, who had been dating for a few months, got married in Las Vegas as sort of a drunken joke. The girl found out she would lose a lot of her trust fund because of being married. A gaggle of 4 lawyers were flown in and got a very quick retroactive annulment. Marriage lasted 4 days, except legally it was declared to have never existed at all. They dated for 3 more years then broke up.”

9. What did he expect?

“They got married in the October, she left him just after Christmas the same year. She was bored.

I don’t know what he expected really, she’d cheated on him when they were engaged too and he’d forgiven her.”

10. One annulment, coming up

“Years and years ago, my uncle’s girlfriend planned a wedding and invited everyone and didn’t tell him until the week of. I don’t know the whole story about why she did it but he went through with it and quietly got it anulled and broke up with her.”

11. Not a good idea

“I know two couples who got married for the sole purpose of having sex together. Both marriages lasted a year combined.”

12. Her last line is a zinger!

“I was a bridesmaid at a Mormon wedding (despite not being a Mormon myself.) The wedding was rushed because the parents had interstate travel coming up and didn’t wish to leave their respective children (late teens/ early 20s) without supervision while they were away. For fear of lost virginities.

I have some makeup I bought for the wedding that lasted longer than the marriage…”

13. Probably not the best idea?

“I work as a clerk at a Family Courthouse.

Bride f*cked the DJ. At the reception.

New record for the office pool.”

14. Cheater

“A relative of mine had a marriage last less than 3 weeks. They had been together for a couple years and even went to premarital counseling at their church for a few months to get ready. Their wedding was super lavish and it was clear a lot of prep and money went into it. At their wedding they announced they were expecting their first child.

Everything seemed great. Unfortunately the whole thing blew up when the wife discovered he had been cheating on her for almost their entire relationship with multiple women. She found this out while in a foreign country on their honeymoon, 4 months pregnant. I know from her mom that she had complications in her pregnancy that they attribute to the stress of all of this.”

15. Never seen again

“My dad and his second wife made it like not even four months before she left and I never saw or heard from her again. She said she was going to give me an old Nintendo 64, she never did.”

The post 15 Couples Who Went from Married to Divorced Way Too Fast appeared first on UberFacts.

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20+ of the The Shadiest “It’s Not What it Looks Like!” Stories

Every now and then, the good people of Reddit start discussing things that make me feel a lot better about myself.

This was one of those occasions.

#1. Uh huh, sure… STALKER

“About 5 1/2 years ago, I dated a guy for like 2 months. While I was dating him, I was in the process of house-hunting. I’d mentioned that the neighborhood he was living in, particularly, was one I had been hoping to buy in. Our relationship fizzled, and we mutually split. Fast-forward a couple months, and a house was on the market across the street and a couple down from his. I hated the awkward fact it was so close to his, but I loved the house itself, and like I’d said, I really wanted to buy in that neighborhood and had been having crap luck.”

“So I did what is normally recommended to anyone to do when looking at new homes… I visited in the evening to check out noise/activity levels. At no point did I contact the guy because we hadn’t dated that long and I didn’t even know if I’d ultimately end up living there. So I was parked at the house I liked when my ex suddenly walked out of his house taking his roommate’s dog for a walk. I freaked… realized how bad it might look, like maybe I was stalking him or something, and I wasn’t sure if he’d seen me or my car, so I froze as I wondered whether to just do nothing and hope he didn’t see, or try to explain myself.”

“I opted for the latter. I rolled down my window and awkwardly was like, “heyyyyy…….” and explained to him that I was thinking of buying that house. He seemed cool about it, but who knows what was really going through his mind.

I did ultimately buy the house and still live there, and he still lives across the street. Fun times!”

#2. “I put it between the front seats of my dad’s car…”

“This happened in high school, shortly after I started dating my first “boyfriend”. At the time, I would often wear a camisole with a built-in bra layered under a V-neck tee. One day, I was wearing this outfit but wanted to go shopping after school for other shirts, so I brought a regular bra with me to try stuff on.”

“After I got out of the store, I for some reason didn’t want to put the bra in my bag so I put it in the armrest compartment between the front seats of my dad’s car, and of course immediately forgot it was there.”

“The next day, my parents were getting ready to go somewhere. They had left the house, but moments later my mom barged back in, demanding to know why I was “taking off my clothes in the car”. I frantically tried to explain the clothes shopping story, but to this day I’m not sure she bought it.”

#3. “Oh hey, be quiet, he just fell asleep…”

“Sister came home to her boyfriend and our brother laying his head in his lap (her bf was holding his head in his lap and stroking his head and back) she was confused and as soon as she opened her mouth her bf turned around “oh hey, be quiet, he just fell asleep.” Apparently my brother got food poisoning and was throwing up constantly, her bf showed up to return some things she left at his house. So being* him, he helped our brother get some medicine from the store, change, and stroked his head on the couch till he fell asleep (it took a while since he was always getting up to throw up). We all laugh about it now :))”

“Edit: OKAY! To clear up some confusion, me and my sister are both 16, her boyfriend is 17, and my brother is 19 going on 20 here soon! Also! My brother is shorter than her bf (bro: 5’9, sbf: 6’1). This happened like 3 months ago.

Edit2: and my brother and sbf are both Bi, but sbf has only ever dated 1 guy years ago and my brother is like basically gay at this point lmfao, and for all those asking, they consider each other brothers”

#4. I CAN EXPLAIN!

“I work at a school portrait company. I retouch thousands of images and sometimes I need to retouch inappropriate things. Well this high school girl was wearing a see through shirt and I had to retouch out her nipples. I was in the office by myself as a 20 something year old man when a girl walks in and sees me zoomed in on this high school girls see through shirt… I CAN EXPLAIN! I told her I’m not a creep, I’m just retouching her shirt so you can’t see her nipples… It was very awkward but since she worked as a photographer she completely understood once I explained.”

#5. “Those aren’t mine!”

“Mine’s a little different. I was at a corporate function, and noticed that the president of the company was trying to clean his glasses with a paper napkin. Being the well-prepared person I am, I always keep a microfiber cloth in my pocket – I wear glasses, too, and I prefer to actually clean the glasses, not just smudge the oils around. I digress.”

“So I reach into my pocket, grab a cloth, and hand it to him. And he responds with a confused “Huh.”Now, at this time I also have a son who is going through potty training, so I tended to keep spare clothes; usually in my backpack, but also in the pockets of my overcoat.”

“I look over, and the president of my company is kind of staring at the (unused, thank God) pair of Jake and the Neverland Pirates underwear, boys size small, I just handed him. And of course, my immediate response wasn’t to laugh, wasn’t to say “oh, those are my kid’s backup pair” … no, my response was to immediately say “those aren’t mine!” Which was 1) obvious, and 2) not guilty sounding at all.”

#6. “wait… I can explain”

“I was practicing anatomy for drawing of course. So… I had to look up naked models and stuff. No big deal. Just to get the human form down. Nothing too weird. I get done sketching for the day and went to bed. Over the weekend I was animating and my dad walked in my room to ask me something. Well… he goes “what the hell?” And picks up a drawing. I was like “what?” And he sees these drawings… I legit said the line “wait… I can explain” and he walked away laughing.”

#7. Peeping perv

“One of my friends was in a cycling accident commuting home from class one night and wound up in the ER. She needed someone to make sure her dog, Fox, is taken care of and tells me she left her bedroom window unlocked so I should be able to get in the house. Now Fox is semi familiar with me but I still don’t like the idea of crawling in a window and facing a pretty big dog unannounced.”

“So I’ve got the window in the alley cracked and I’m trying to call Fox and let her know that I’m there and coming in. I’m saying stuff like “Hey Foxy girl, Foxy Lady etc etc” meanwhile the upstairs neighbor hears all of this while she is sitting on the toilet and thinks someone is doing some perv peeping tom stuff looking into windows. Luckily it was all cleared up pretty quickly as we were all college kids that saw each other in and out fairly often, but it almost took a bad turn.”

#8. “Sexy” girl cats

“A couple years ago, I started a new job. As a result, I bought a house. My wife and I own a cat and we were tired of the cat box making one of the restrooms smell bad. We ended up putting a cat door in the door that leads to the garage and putting his box out there. This way the cat can piss & shit as he pleases without making the house smell bad. We noticed that when he did his business, he would stare intently right Into the wall. As a joke, my wife and I decided to get some cat pin up pictures on the part of the wall he stares at. So that night, I find a few pics of “sexy” girl cats online. I found Pepe le pew’s GF, Felix the cats gf and a couple others. All of them in compromising poses or with a seductive look on their face (nothing pornographic).”

“The next day at work, I tried sending them to the color printer. I was especially careful as the color printer was in the main office where there was nothing but girls working. I went in to make sure there was no one near it before going back to my office and sending it through with a few other documents I needed. Sure enough, I walk back into the office to grab my “papers” and one of the older ladies in the office is standing there looking at it with an awkward but shocked look on her face.”

“My jaw dropped as I tried explaining it to her. It came out something along the lines of “its for my cat, I swear!” Well, she wasn’t really believing me, and just walked away. I never really had the same friendly relationship with her after that. I guess she just thought I was some weirdo, which I don’t blame her. Oh well, the cat loves his pictures and admires them every time he drops a deuce.”

#9. Always check your pockets…

“I got super high and drunk one night with my best friend and his gf. They stayed at my house. My friend is a loud snorer so his gf ended up sleeping on my couch. My best friend in my guest room upstairs.”

“At 4 am I woke up still pretty drunk and high. For some reason I felt the need to check social media but couldn’t find my phone. Drunk and high Me decided to go downstairs to find my phone.”

“Without realizing his gf was on the couch, I reach down by a pillow to check for my phone. She wakes up, and I’m left there having to explain at 4am why I’m grabbing her face.

I don’t think she believes my story to this day and I look like a rapist. My phone was in my pocket the whole time.”

#10. A straight-laced mistake

“I was volunteering at a pool for my instructor’s certification. The girl I was with was really thirsty and asked if I would mind getting her a Powerade from the vending machine since she couldn’t leave her class. She told me where her wallet was so I could get her change. Another staff member walked in while I was taking the money from her wallet. I was the most straightlaced, nervous kid on Earth, lol. I explained. She either believed me or checked with the lifeguard later, but either way, the first girl got her Powerade and the pool hired me later, so the second girl knows I’m not a thief. ?”

#11. Words are important

“In the beginning months of a relationship, I was staying over at my girlfriend’s apartment. We were in bed, and the only light in the room came from a bright lamp on the end table, on her side of the bed. Now, in addition to being a bit sensitive to bright light, I have a lazy eye that makes it hard to focus on things that are really close. Things like my girlfriend, at that particular moment.”

“So naturally, I asked, “Could you turn off the light? You’re really hard to look at.” I don’t know which of us had the bigger look of horror on our faces.

EDIT: My first silver! And I came soooooo close to not posting, thinking it wasn’t quality enough a comment.”

#12.”It was a dog bite!”

“A female friend of mine who is a Police Officer was on a welfare check and was bit by the property owners dog. She was about a mile from my house when bit and because I am an EMT she decided to call me to see if I could inspect where she was bitten and advise if she needed to go to the hospital. She show up at my house and limps into the kitchen telling me the dog bit her just below her left butt cheek on the rear of her upper thigh.”

“I was worried that the bite had broke the skin and she would need to get it bandaged and possibly get a rabies shot. I told her that I would have to take a look at the bite to help her so, she takes off her duty belt and pulls her pants down to around her knees to expose the bite area. It didn’t look too bad but there were two spots where the dogs teeth had broke the skin. I told her I would bandage it up so she could make the 20 minute drive to the clinic. I was just about to bandage her leg when my wife walks through the door.”

“There I am with one of our female friends, standing in our kitchen, in her police officer uniform, pants down (she was wearing a thong), I was sitting so basically her ass was in my face, and my hands on her upper thigh/butt. We both had the deer in the headlight stare as we realized how bad this must have looked to my wife. We then both shouted out in unison “It was a dog bite!”.”

#13. “…it was a year before I went around for dinner.”

“I had recently started dating this girl. We had been together maybe 3 months, and I had yet to do the “meet the parents” thing. I had been putting it off as her Dad was this fearsome Scottish dude who was known for his temper.”

“Anyhow, at my 19th birthday party (as so many do at this age) things got out of control. It was supposed to be a garden party, but it got changed to a garage party when the weather let me down. It was slinging it down. As my parents didn’t want a mess, everyone was supposed to take off shoes when coming in the house for the toilet. As you can imagine, after everyone breaks the piss seal, few lads can be bothered with all that just for piss. So we are all going through my back gate and using the grass around the corner.”

“This also becomes the outdoor smoking spot, and the combined foot traffic in the rain does not take long to turn this into a quagmire of mud and piss.”

“My girlfriend takes a massive swig of vodka. Mistake. This is not staying down. She dashes outside to vomit. She hurls up everywhere in this mud then promptly falls over in it. She is so hammered she then rolls over onto her front to stand back up. She now looks like the swamp thing, and she is going downhill fast. She is under strict instructions to be home by midnight, and it is now 11pm and she can barely stand. This is a small town with no Taxi company, and the 1 mile walk across town with someone in this state is not happening.”

“As quite a lot of people are staying over, my first gambit was to ring her home and try to get her permission to stay over too. Of course it was her Dad who answered. That request went down like a shit sandwich and was given a very firm “NO!” from the Dad who then just hung up as the conversation was over. Shit.”

“So I have to ring back and sheepishly explain that she is too far gone to move under her own power. He will need to come and get her.

“FINE!” [Hangs up again]”

“It was then I knew I really fucked up. She was still in Swamp Thing mode and her dad would be here in no time. We had to clean her up. We had already gotten her out of her jumper. With her still throwing up in the toilet, I explained I was going to lend her some of my jeans. In my drunken brain this was an awesome plan. We just had to wait for her to stop being sick. This didn’t happen. Panic is rising.”
“This was more than a one person job. I then got her best friend to help her out of her jeans. I did not hear the Dad arrive as the front door was open from other people leaving. He just walked straight in. I guess someone directed him upstairs as he walks into the bathroom, just in time to see myself and Lucy peeling the jeans down over his daughter’s arse as she was still being sick in the toilet. Time stopped.

Had I asked anyone else to help I would probably be dead. It was a year before I went around for dinner.”

#14. She admonished me in front of the class…

“4th grade. All of the kids in my class had figured out that they could get up to sharpen their pencils whenever they wanted – a way to break-up the monotony I suppose. Several students abused this privilege and I didn’t want to be counted among the abusers, as Mrs. Spangler had become vocal about this.”

“During an assignment, my pencil was dull to the point that the wood was scratching on my paper. I decided to use my thumbnail to break the wood away from the tip and expose the graphite so that I didn’t have to sharpen it. As I was doing this, my teacher walked by and exclaimed, “You’re trying to break your pencil!” I didn’t have time to establish a defense before she admonished me in front of the class.

I still think about it sometimes… I’m 37.”

#15. “Are you a lesbian”

“During lunch at my school everyone would be in the lunchroom, it was a small school so pretty much everyone ate at the same time. A friend of mine and I would skip lunch and spend the time just running around the school doing whatever we wanted. One day we were playing like an extreme form of hide and seek all around the school and she ran into the bathroom. I went into the bathroom and stepped up on the toilet seat and peeked over the stall. I had planned on being like “ha! Got you!” But it wasn’t my friend in the stall. The girl assumed I was trying to be a pervert and went and told a teacher. I got the “are you a lesbian” talk from a very conservative teacher at a very country school and the girl went around telling everyone I was a weirdo and that I tried to watch her pee.”

#16. Church lady

“I was really tall in Jr High. One of my best friends at the time was pretty short, and we had a running joke where he would use a little kid voice whenever standing next to me, because I was so much taller.”

“So one day we’re playing tag around my church building (grew up in a conservative house) after most people had already left, and my buddy runs into the bathroom and locks himself in a stall. But I was taller than the wall of the stall, so I pressed up against it and looked down at him and said in my best creepy voice “You can’t hide from me!” and he used his little-kid voice to say “Oh no! Somebody please help!”

“Of course, one of the old church ladies was standing in the doorway behind us, watching the whole thing with horror. Turns out she was there to clean, and caught us at exactly the wrong time.”

#17. “Well, jump out the window…”

“Oh man. Back in my early 20s, Around mid-2000s when Jackass was all the craze i went to a house party. A girl there took a big liking to me and kept coming onto me pretty strong. I was in a relationship and kept turning her down. I went into the parents’ bedroom to take a call when she came into the room and tried to kiss me. I said no and she started to undress, I told my friend on the other end of the phone what was going on and he just said ‘well, jump out the window’”

“20 year old, drunk me thought this was a great idea, Just like CKY/ Jackass! So I opened the window and jumped out onto the grass below, Rolled and walked away unhurt, The next thing I know there is a dull thud and semi-Naked crazy chick was laying on the ground, She had jumped out after me, hit the earth below, slipped and fallen backwards hitting her head on the ground.”

“People inside the party heard the noise and came running out the door of the house to find me standing over a semi-conscious, half naked girl….”

#18. “No! Wait it’s a gun tool thing, I swear!”

“Years ago I was dating this girl, and I had just acquired a black powder gun. Now for those of you who don’t know, one of the parts on many of the black powder guns is called a nipple, and usually require a wrench to get off. Mine didn’t have this wrench so I punched in “Ruger nipple wrench” into Google and went downstairs to grab a drink.

When I come back into her room, she’s looking at my laptop, wide eyed and nervously says “Ummm, I don’t know if I would be into that…” Cue my reaction of “What? No! Wait it’s a gun tool thing I swear!”

#19. “Assault with a deadly wiener…”

“As a broke college kid, one of my go-to meals was a $0.69 chilli dog from 7-11, which was 4 blocks from my dorm. I had no car. One winter’s night, I bundled up in my heavy coat, gloves. and beanie and went to get myself one.”

“So I’m heading back, holding my foil-wrapped dinner, and decide to run (to get out of the cold faster.) Next thing I know, a cop car screeches to a halt in front of me, and I’m ordered to the ground. Spent the next couple minutes explaing to NJ PD why I’m running out of a convenience store, at night, in a “ski mask”, waving a shiny metal object.

TL/DR: Suspected assault with a deadly wiener.”

#20. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER.”

“My friend Anna was in her 20’s but she looked really young, easily as though she could be a minor. She had too much to drink at the bar so I started carrying her home on my shoulders as she was having a really hard time walking. As we got to her house I went to let her down and she fell off and smacked her head on the fence. She was wearing a skirt and as she fell it went up to her waist. I’m trying to get her to come-to so she can go in her house when an old lady walks out on her porch and starts screaming, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT LITTLE GIRL, WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES.”

“I try to calmly explain that this is her house and I’m just a friend trying to get her home but she just keeps shouting, “WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER.” She won’t come to and I realize just how bad the situation looks, so I tell the old lady we can call an ambulance. As I tell my friend we are about to call an ambulance, she immediately comes to and fixes her skirt and stands up. The old lady says, “oh you were right, I guess she had clothes the whole time.”

#21. “That tickles my penis.”

“I babysit for extra income and took a four year old boy I was caring for to the park. I was pushing him on the swing and he pipes up, “That tickles my penis.” I have NO idea why – he’d been swinging for a good 15 minutes before announcing that and I’m not sure if he just shifted his weight in the swing, or that was the only way he knew to describe feeling butterflies in his stomach from the swinging motion, but I was legit worried he might tell his parents something like, “tweri12 tickled my penis on the swing”. I’m a woman – the fear would be magnified ten fold if I were a man.”

#22. “Daddy likes to come into my room naked…”

“When my daughter was around 3 years old, she casually told my wife that “Daddy likes to come into my room naked and play with me.” It took a minute to realize what she was talking about. A few weeks prior to that, she had woken up screaming. Bad dream, I’m guessing. I jump out of bed wearing nothing but boxer briefs to see what the problem was. To get her to stop crying, I tried to make her laugh. Luckily, my wife believed me.”

Yep. I just checked again, and I’m still lookin pretty good next to these fools.

Thanks again, reddit!

The post 20+ of the The Shadiest “It’s Not What it Looks Like!” Stories appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Truly Terrifying Horror Movies That Don’t Rely on Cheap Scares

Are you a horror movie nut? Frankly, I’m a big ol’ scaredy-cat but my wife really loves them so I’ve ended up seeing a few as well. The thing is, not all horror movies are created equally – some just rely on gimmicks and gore rather than actually cultivating a sense of dread in the viewer.

If you’re a horror fan looking for some suggestions, it’s a good thing you clicked on this link. Users of AskReddit shared their favorite terrifying horror films that don’t rely on cheap gags and scares, and they did NOT disappoint.

Take note of these!

1. Lake Mungo

“Lake Mungo.

Shot like a documentary, and definitely one of the more realistic mockunentaries I’ve ever seen. It’s about a family in Australia who believe their house is being haunted by the presence of the recently deceased teenage daughter. Since it’s meant to be realistic, the entire film kind of focuses on the idea that spirits aren’t real. That’s all I’ll say about the plot.

It’s been about two years since I first (and last) seen it and it has certainly stuck with me. I think about it often.”

2. Good choice

“John Carpenter’s The Thing.”

3. Ringu

“The original Japanese version of The Ring (“Ringu”).”

4. The Ritual

“The Ritual is a great movie, and it’s on Netflix.

“Reuniting after the tragic death of their friend, four college pals set out to hike through the Scandinavian wilderness. A wrong turn leads them into the mysterious forests of Norse legend, where an ancient evil exists and stalks them at every turn.”

5. An old fashioned ghost story

“The Others (2001).”

6. From 1979

“Alien.”

7. A classic!

“The Hitcher. Its just this teenager who picked up a murder hobo, escaped, but then sees him in another car with a family and tries to intervene.”

8. I need to check this one out

“I don’t know anyone else that’s seen it, but They Look Like People is a pretty unsettling psychological horror.”

9. Unsettling

“Jacobs Ladder for sure, very unsettling atmospheres.”

10. Spooky

“Event Horizon was pretty spooky.”

11. Take Kubrick’s word

“The Vanishing. Dutch film. Completely terrifying. Kubrick said it was the scariest movie he ever saw.”

12. Home invasion

“Hush (2016) Most home invasion movies freak me out but this one really stuck with me.”

13. Here are two for you

“Night of the Living Dead (1968). The classic zombie flick scared the shit out of me as a kid! :O

It Follows (2015). The modern monster flick scared the shit out of me as an adult! :O “

14. Into the Catacombs we go

“One movie I liked that didn’t grab too much traction was As Above, So Below, about a group of college kids that get lost in the catacombs below Paris, and the demons they meet down there. It’s unsettling as a film, but also because it has actually happened that several people, drunk or whatnot, have ventured into the catacombs and gotten lost and died. The movie was filmed in the actual catacombs, and the effects are really good. Plus there is a psycological aspect to the haunting that occurs, particularly amongst the more guilty of the group. Would recommend.

There are jump scares, but they are legitimate.”

15. Nightmares

“The Mothman Prophecies” shares a spot with the original “Nosferatu” as one of three movies that legitimately gave me nightmares.”

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15 People Reveal the Moment They Realized They’d Been Doing Something Wrong Forever

I apologize to you all in advance for the fact that this article might make you feel kinda dumb. Sure, these are stories shared by other people, but they’re Because even though these stories are from AskReddit users, you know you’ve been there, too.

So don’t even try to deny it.

1. Ohhhhhh….

“My mom use to refer to me as a “bull in a china shop”. Always heard it as “bowl in a china shop”. Thinking it was a compliment. At about 22 I hear someone else use the phrase and realized she meant “bull”, not “bowl”.”

2. That took a while

“Last month was the first time I discovered lint rollers were peelable. Literally sat there for a minute to take that in.

I’m 20.”

3. OH MY GOD

“Since the dawn of time, I would pick up the silverware and utensils out of their tray in the dishwasher and put them away in their drawers then go back and pick up more out of the dishwasher. Then one day I saw my wife lift the tray out of the dishwasher and I legit stood there with my mouth open.”

4. That’s better!

“We bought a nice liquor cabinet. We got it delivered and noticed it was a bit shorter than we thought. No biggie. Three years later, we’re moving. Lift up cabinet and these beautiful, ornate, screw on legs wrapped in tape and bubble wrap fall off the bottom. Looks so much better now!”

5. Driving lessons

“It wasn’t very long, but when I was learning to drive my dad was explaining the rule of thumb regarding a safe distance to be behind the car in front of you. I thought it meant to hold your thumb up and if your thumb didn’t cover the entire car you were too close to it. When he caught me doing that he asked me what I was doing. When I explained he burst out laughing, then considered it, and concluded it wasn’t a bad idea but perhaps a bit distracting.”

6. Grateful/Embarrassed

“Until last week, when my father in law would made a phone call on his very basic non-touch-screen flip phone he would open the menu, scroll to the phone icon, open it, hit the soft key for contacts, scroll to the person he wanted to call, press ok, then press the soft key to call.

When he mentioned how he preferred his landline because he could just dial the number, I said “Humour me. Just dial the number and hit the talk button.” I’ve never seen a man so simultaneously grateful and embarrassed.”

7. Mind was blown

“Couple years ago i was trying to open some toothpaste and had to break the seal of the tube, i used to look for something like a nail to break it, then one day i looked at the pointy end of the cap and thought ‘what if I could use this to break it’ and oh shit it did fit and broke it effortlessly, and so did every other tube product i had in the house and their respective cap, my mind was blown.”

8. Spelling issues

“Not mine, but my dad has been spelling his name wrong his whole life (he’s 51). His name is Jeffrey, and he’s been spelling it like that since he learned how to spell his name. A few months ago my mom pulled out his birth certificate, and we all learned it’s actually spelled Jeffery. Not sure if he spells it correctly now, but it was definitely an “oh shit” moment for him.”

9. Double Tips!

“When i first got a debit card and would go out to eat at restaurants with my friends, i would leave a cash tip on the table. when i got the receipt to put how much i was paying i would write down how much money i left on the table. for at least 6 months i gave double tips to every waitress i had…”

10. But that wasn’t the case…

“My mom has been pronouncing Massachusetts “Massa Two Shits” for years and no one corrected her because they thought she just had strong feelings about Massachusetts.”

11. Use the swivel!

“I owned a car with swivel headlights and it was very nice to have that. Discovered three years in that I had never turned on the swivel feature.”

12. Devastated

“When I was 5 a Pizza Hut employee told me that the powder on the breadsticks was called ‘fairy dust.’ Ordered extra fairy dust on my breadsticks until I was around 14 when an employee said ‘do you mean garlic salt?’ It still devastates me to realize how obtuse I was.”

13. Never noticed that…

“Realized the multi colored tape measures glued to the door frames of gas stations etc. are for identifying robbers, not for measuring yourself as you walk out. I mean, they can be, but that’s not why they are there. Unless you’re the robber.”

14. RYAN

“My name is Ryan.

It took me until I was in 1st grade to realize my name wasn’t in the alphabet.

My mom had told me my name was in the alphabet, and I felt so lucky. She obviously meant the letters to spell my name were in the alphabet.

But nope. It took that long to realize the alphabet didn’t go “W, X, Ryan Z….”

15. Don’t eat that

“Apparently the red ring around the bologna is not supposed to be eaten.”

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15 Children Share Their Parents’ Most Embarrassing “I Want to Talk to Your Manager” Experiences

We’ve all been there: you’re at a public restaurant or the grocery store, and some crank decides to make a scene about some aspect of the service that they’re unhappy with. It’s always uncomfortable for everyone on the scene, but it’s even worse when you happen to the child of that person.

These AskReddit users share their sad stories of being the children of those people.

1. NO

“Scene: Any fast food drive-thru

Worker: Ma’am, can you please drive forward a little bit while your food finishes up?

Mom: No. *folds arms*”

2. Loved a deal

“My dad just loved to argue, and he loved a deal.

We were shopping in a department store, and I found a pair of pants I was mildly interested in. The pants were tagged at (let’s say) $40, and the sign on the rack was “All pants $25”.

I was mildly interested, I asked the salesclerk if they had them in my size, the clerk said “those aren’t supposed to be on that rack”.

My dad lost his shit and insisted on getting the pants for $25, and started asking for a courtesy discount on top of that. Escalated to the floor manager and the store manager.

Meanwhile, I didn’t want the pants. They were ok pants I guess, nothing awesome, I just didn’t care very much about them. I was more than happy to move on. I told my dad I didn’t want the pants, by then he didn’t care about what I wanted, he wanted the pants at the better price.

Eventually after like an hour of arguing the store manager said “we’re not giving you the pants at that price. Take them or leave them at $40″. So we left them. Which suited me just fine, because I didn’t want the pants.”

3. Banned for life

“Ugh, my dad. He can be such a prick if you get his order wrong, it could be fast food or a nice sit down restaurant. He often yells at wait staff if they “undercook” his steak. It has to be well done or he claims to have lost his appetite.

One time we went to Burger King when I was younger and we sat down to eat. He took one bite of his burger, spit it out and immediately started bitching about it being under cooked. He cut in front of everyone in line to yell at the cashier, then he asked who was the cook. when the cook appeared, he launched his burger hitting the poor kid directly in the face with a lidless burger. He’s now banned for life from Burger King.”

4. Mortifying

“I was 13 when this happened. My mom had made a reservation at a hotel for a trip, but when she got there the lady said there was some error with the reservation and that my mom’s payment didn’t go through, so the lady offered us a double bed room for a discount.

Rather than just taking the room, thanking the lady, and leaving, my mom decided the best course of action would be to scream, in the middle of a hotel lobby, “NOBODY IS GOING ANYWHERE TIL I GET MY FUCKING ROOM!” She then proceeded to pester the lady, who clearly couldn’t do anything about it, until eventually she called the police on my mom for public disturbance. Mortifying.”

5. No, Nanny!

“Not my parent but grandparent. When I was around 10 years old my grandmother went out and got us (her, my brother, and me) McDonald’s. We got home and we didn’t have napkins in the bags. No big deal, right? We have paper towels and napkins in the house, also me and my brother are pretty good with not making any messes while we eat.

Nope. Grandmother got us in the car, drove back to McDonald’s, demanded a manager, and screeched about how upset she was that we didn’t get any napkins. I wanted to just melt into the floor and disappear. It’s just napkins, Nanny….”

6. “I died inside”

“I was with my parents on vacation and the hotel put charges on the bill by accident. My mom marched to the front desk and demanded to see the manager. There was a long line, but she cut right in front of it. The manager wasn’t very helpful, probably because she was rude.

So my mom, went to all the other customers in line and told them that the hotel was a scam and they were ripping us off with fake charges. She made a scene. The hotel called the police and we were escorted off the premises by actual cops. I died inside.”

7. Oh my…

“When I was a young child on a long distance flight my mother let me and my brother sleep on the floor. For safety reasons the flight attendants told my mother that we were not allowed to sleep on the floor. She started to argue with the flight attendants who then turned to the pilots.

The pilots threatened to turn the plane around unless we get up from the floor but she continued to argue. The pilots anounced they were about to turn around because of my mother, so all the passangers got pissed. Eventually she caved in when she had all passengers and flight crew on a boeing 747 against her…”

8. Maybe she had a point…?

“My Mum demanded to see a café’s hygiene certificate when she saw an employee go from cutting cake in the kitchen to handling money at the till, even though the real problem is going the other way.”

9. Walk away in shame

“My mother is A nightmare with customer service… even with the fact that I her daughter works in customer service and deals with people like her on the daily

So many incidents stick out in my mind but one that really embarrassed me was we were at Walmart

The stocker was struggling and dropped their price scanner thing on the ground. I was going to go help her gather her things she was struggling with when my mom came out like a bat out of hell and yelled “YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD PICK THAT UP PEOPLE COULD TRIP” and then she darted off with the cart

I was so embarrassed I just walked away in shame, and when I pointed it out to my mom the girl dropped it on accident she said “WELL SHE SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL”

K….”

10. Thanks a lot, Mom

“I worked at Best Buy. I stopped in with my mom one day because she wanted to buy me the Star Wars DVD box set for my birthday.

I had a huge, HUGE crush on the girl that was working the customer service counter. Well, the DVD set rang up $10 more than it was priced, and my mom deliberately didn’t say anything until after the transaction so she could claim the effing $5 Michigan Scan Law bounty.

My crush didn’t know how to process it and the manager was busy, so my mom tore into her about how it was her job and how she should understand how to do things.

At my job.

To a girl I liked.

My life was misery for a while afterward.”

11. Never again

“My mom asked me to call her a taxi via an app.

She ended up calling me multiple times complaining about how the driver didn’t use the route she thought was best (she never owned a car and doesn’t know how to drive), even though the guy just used the best possible route the navigator suggested.

She ended up getting out halfway and using subway. The driver proceeded to call me in tears, completely shocked, unsure of what he did so wrong, and apologizing. I felt like total shit.

I never called her a cab again.”

12. Honor the sign!

“Grocery store had this sign up that said if an item rang up higher than an advertised price it was free. It was the 80s and stores did stupid shit like this that I never see in stores today.

Mom was buying a box of Little Debbie cakes and they rang up for $2.85 instead of the advertised $2.50. So now mom wants her free cakes. Cashier doesn’t know what to do, summons a manager. Manager tells her to ring up the sale otherwise and he’ll be right back.

Comes back and hands my mother 35 cents cheerfully and says “There you go!” My mother points out the sign behind him and he says “Oh, the last manager put that up, it doesn’t make any sense. I’m the new manager and I just haven’t had the sign removed yet” (it was a printed plastic sign that was screwed into the wall).

Mom insists they honor their sign, he says nah. Now, up to this point, I as an adult looking back am totally on board with mom’s actions.

Mom gathers her things, decides against taking the Little Debbies on principle, and we get in the car. Mom wordlessly drives downtown to the main store of this 3-5 store chain, knowing the office is next door. We walk into this perfectly 80’s wood paneled office where my mother asks the secretary to speak to the owner of the store and is permitted to do so since this is a family owned business and their “corporate office” is smaller than the row of cubicles my staff occupy at work.

Here my mother unleashes a tirade about how she has lost faith in his brand and how his word is meaningless since they will not honor the sign etc. This guy stands up, profusely apologizes, validates her anger and then pulls out his wallet and hands her a $5 bill along with a promise that he will speak to the manager and the sign will either be honored or removed.

We get home and find that the ice cream we bought melted in the trunk because summer and ruined the cereal and the bread.”

13. Silent bystander

“My dad once asked the guy at the verizon wireless store to give him his own Social Secuirity number because he asked for my dads. My dad walked out afterwards with some strangers SS number on a post it. I was a silent bystander because I really wanted my first phone.”

14. Get it sorted

“One time my Grandad got a sausage roll at a football match during half time, when he got back to his seat he found it was overdone, the pastry was quite burned. The man was irate. He didn’t take it back straight away as the second half was about to start, but he spent much of the second half angrily lamenting his savoury snack letdown. So he takes it home, calls the customer service number on the back (I assume he had a few choice words for the poor soul on the other end but I wasn’t present for this), and keeps the remainder of the sausage roll in the freezer for the next couple of weeks.

Skip ahead to the next match day, my Grandad tells me we’re heading out early so he can have his sausage roll replaced. The customer service line told him to go to Kiosk 3 at the front of the ground next to the ticket office. When we arrive, however, the shutters are down at the food place. The old man looks around growling and turning red in the face, stamps right over to window number 3 of the ticket office and slams his frozen burned sausage roll down like a fucking flaky gauntlet. At this point I’m trying to convince him the ticket office was a completely different department to the catering concession but my Grandad was having none of it.

The lady working the ticket window continually attempted in vein to convince him the same, they sell match tickets not hot snacks, but this just got him angrier and angrier. Across comes a colleague behind the glass, now there’s just two people to rage at. Then a head steward comes to attempt to diffuse the situation and my Grandad begins to wave the burnt sausage roll in this man’s face, I was actually surprised he didn’t whack him with it. At this point I’m mortified by the whole affair, wishing I’d have stayed back at the house until nearer kick off.

Eventually, after an hour or so, the shutters come up on the food concession. Fella at the counter goes ‘You must be Mr. Alaginge’ and calmly resolves the situation, dispatching a freshly baked sausage roll with the steady hands of a surgeon. My Grandad is completely satisfied with the result of his hour of insolent rage. As we’re walking away he turns to me and says ‘that’s how you get these things sorted.’ “

15. No more Olive Garden

“I grew up in a smaller town right on the cusps of its big growth boom. We knew our town had finally made it when we got an Olive Garden. We used to eat there 2-3 times a month. My mom and I would always split an entree and my dad would get his own. We knew the rule if you’re splitting and entree and you get more than one of the family style bowls of salad than you’ll get charged an extra $4 for the extra person. Which is fair, 2 entrees come with 2 unlimited salads.

Welllll one day my dad decides he wanted more salad. Only he wants the additional salad, but the waitress said if she refills the bowl, that we will be charged the extra $4. Wellll low and behold my parents threw the biggest tantrum because only HE wanted the additional salad. The demanded to speak to a manager and the manager explained the rule (which we knew) but offered to comp the extra salad just to get my parents to stop yelling….and they did. When our bill came the manager comped my dads entree and the additional salad fee. Well my mom got up.

Interrupted the manager while he was talking to other guests and threw the check in his face and asked “what’s this?!?!” She was furious that he comped my dads meal. He ate the meal therefore we would like to pay for it. She wouldn’t stop raising her voice until she was allowed to pay for the meal (but not the salad). The manager was confused but obliged…when they brought the change the manager slipped a few free appetizer coupons.

My mom ripped them up and threw them on the ground as she left. Safe to say I didn’t eat out with them for at least a month and I still refuse to go to Olive Garden with them.”

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15 “Unwritten Rules” of Life You’d Do Well to Follow

Life doesn’t come with a manual, despite how much we all wish it did. That leaves each of us to figure out our way through the maze that is existence.

That said, there’s no rule that says you can’t seek out the advice of others. With that in mind, here are a number of unwritten rules for life by the users of AskReddit.

What are your unwritten rules in life? Share in the comments below?

1. Your responsibility

“If you have to cancel on a friend, it should be your responsibility to reschedule.”

2. This is HUGE

“If you use up all of the toilet paper, you go refill it (this applies for the household).”

3. No snuggles

“Give people their personal space. Not everyone wants to snuggle a stranger.”

4. Fill ‘er up

“If you borrow someone’s car… fill up the tank before you return it.”

5. Get your own

“If you’re borrowing it for a third time, you need one of your own.”

6. Never, ever, ever do that

“Don’t just say things like “I love your baby bump!” to some random person.”

7. It is mindblowing

“If someone asks you a question, finish what you’re saying with, “what about you?”

Enjoy noticing how many people actually don’t do this.”

8. It’s okay to be wrong

“You can be wrong. It isn’t a bad thing, either. And when you are wrong, acknowledge it, and learn from it, you don’t need to dig down in your beliefs to try and comfort yourself because you can’t handle not being right all the time.”

9. Words to live by

“Don’t mess up an apology with an excuse.”

10. Don’t be a bum

“Dont ask for something if the person only has one left.(Gum,cigarette,piece of cake etc.).”

11. Be respectful

“Leave it in a better condition than you found it.”

12. Let them laugh

“Never make fun of someone else’s laugh, be it how they sound or how they look. Laughing is the most natural expression of joy and happiness and for someone to feel self-conscious about that because of other’s comments is so brutal.”

13. Why would anyone do this?

“Don’t propose at someone else’s wedding.”

14. I feel like everyone should know this

“Don’t start drama at a funeral.”

15. Everyone should do this

“Be kind to strangers even if you’re having a hard time.”

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15 Things That Are Socially Acceptable Today But Will be Seen as Backwards and Immoral by Future Generations

Times change. It’s one of the few things you can actually rely on. What may have been totally acceptable a few decades ago might be considered extremely problematic today. Take homophobia, for example. Just a few decades ago, homosexuality was considered a mental illness! Today, we know better, and gay people are seen (by most of us, anyway) as just regular people who love the same sex.

Even though we like to think we’re so advanced and enlightened, the fact is that in 50 years, future generations will look at how we behave now and they’ll think we did some seriously backward things.

Here are what AskReddit users think those things will be.

1. Workaholics

“The insane workaholic culture we have that promotes unhealthy amounts of overtime and getting to work early every day.”

2. A divisive topic

“Allowing children to eat so much sugar.”

3. Noooooooo

“Microwaving fish at the work cafetaria.”

4. I don’t see this ever going away

“Posting pictures of your children on social media.”

5. Gotcha!

“Hyper-politicizing everything. “Gotcha” debates where the aim is just to win the argument rather than actually being right or making sensible points.”

6. No more plastic surgery

“My money is on the current methods of cosmetic surgery. Jamming sacks of fluid in a lady’s chest to create bigger boobs, for instance, seems like something for which there will one day be a better practice.”

7. Enough of that

“Influencers”, or in other words, people expressing an opinion (or worse, being paid to express an opinion) with the intent to influence others.

If I am looking to buy a new product that I am not familiar with, I will look for honest reviews. Unfortunately, honest reviews are virtually impossible to find today – they are either written by the manufacturer themself, or by a paid “customer” (influencer).

The only honest reviews are the negative ones by pissed off customers, but those are also not reilable, since they could be coming from someone who has been paid by a competitor, or just someone who happened to get that one faulty product that slipped through the QA checks.”

8. Wasteful

“Using something as strong and durable as plastic to make packaging destined to be thrown away.”

9. Awful

“Letting businesses pay politicians who are then responsible for setting laws that apply to the businesses.”

10. Do you agree?

“Colleges sucking every fucking dollar out of you that they can. Fucking scam artists.”

11. Bad for your health?

“Social media in general it’s proven that it takes a toll on our mental health but we still use it all the time anyway.”

12. Obsession

“The North American obsession/fetishization with work. European countries already have it figured out that productivity isn’t linear with time worked and 50-80 hour weeks aren’t doing anyone any good.

We’re still stuck with bragging about how little we slept and how many hours we worked this week, when so many of us are probably non or low functioning for many of those hours worked anyway.”

13. Listen to this one

“The idea that it is correct and sustainable for the current generation to borrow from future generations to consume now.

This is a relatively new trend. Perhaps 100 years in the most developed countries. Only beginning in many developing countries. This is why we don’t see the horrible consequences… yet.

Traditional models of economic development were all about savings and deferred consumption. Future generations had more than past generations and it was assumed that this is how they take care of their parents – by having slightly more than they would on their own. There was a general consensus that life is hard and that giving our children a better one is our duty. I eat half as much so that you and your children can eat it all. People were happy that they had it better than their parents and attempted to control their greed for the sake of their children.

Present models of economic development are all about present short term consumption which is financed with money creation. But money creation means that the wealth still has to come from somewhere and it does – from the future. More money creation now stimulates the economy for greater investment in the future which will increase production so that the extra debt can be paid. Unfortunately because there is no way to know how much you can borrow from the future it leads to essentially what is greed because expectations for the future have no restraint in something that we see around us – it is all in the future. Then as a result the future generations have less available to them than past generations and are being increasingly more burdened by economic cost of that which was consumed.

The result is that I want my house and my car and my vacations and my pension at 60 and you can get a student loan and get a job and not live in my house because I didn’t do it when I was your age. Except you did it because you borrowed from the future – that is my future.

Almost nothing of the way we now pay for things in the long term is ethical. The most obvious example is the environment – we are consuming now by leaving environmental debt for our children – but the same is true of welfare as pensions and medical care. We have fewer and fewer children and we both live longer and have greater demands and expectations. This means that our children have to both work harder to have the same standard of living that we had and in the end they are loaded with debt to pay for our welfare.

In the past a child would get inheritance from the parents. Sometimes nothing. But now every child gets a ton of debt and inflation before you get to whatever your parents left you. The national debt, the private debts, consumer debts they all keep growing… Who is going to pay it? Every time the government bails someone out to stave off a complete collapse of the debt-based economy the bill falls on the shoulders of the new generation. How much longer?

We still keep deferring the deadline with more and more money creation and various financial inventions but sooner or later enough people in the world will get on the same “consume now, pay later” scheme that it will crack because there will be nowhere to borrow from or nobody left to exploit and the sheer pressure of everyone wanting to have it will be like a collapsing star.

And there will be no escaping the black hole. Nobody will remember what it meant to just work for a better future for your children. Everyone will be angry that they can’t have it as good as their parents. And remember… the “natural” way of human society is not to have it as good as your parents but better. It is so natural to us as if it has been wired into us by evolution – which makes sense because those whose parents ensured their children’s well-being would be more likely to survive.

And when you can’t have it better. When there is no hope for a better future. Why live? Why let others live…? Why should they have when I can’t? And this is how wars begin.”

14. Here, here!

“I really hope this extremely polarizing political climate is seen as backwards and immoral in the future.”

15. Hmmmm

“I think one day some future generation will think “Can you believe they used to just let people drive these multi ton metal boxes at high speeds? They just accepted car accidents and traffic as a fact of life.”

I think this even now when I’m doing 80-85 mph on the highway and I look over and the driver next to me is doing the same speed while looking at their phone.”

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