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10+ People Share All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Horror Stories

Buffets are kind of disgusting. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy them, but they are pretty gross. Certain types of foods seem to get about 1,000% more revolting when offered buffet-style (Chinese, pizza, etc.).

Sometimes, what’s even more disgusting than the food itself is the folks who descend on these buffets to do the unthinkable. Take a look at these tales of gluttony from AskReddit, and maybe you’ll think twice the next time you plan on heading to Chop Suey #1 Family Buffet.

1. 7 years is…a lot

7 years of pizza buffet experience. I’ve seen salad bowls full of ranch. I’ve seen huge gluttonous Southern Baptist preachers with a stack of pizza because they’re too fat and lazy to make that many trips. We had a regular who came in 2 times a week. We called him “belly shirt guy” who would stack a whole pizza on each plate per trip on top of unlimited pasta. His gut hung down below his shirt. Great turn around for him though because he started eating salads every trip. By the time I left the man has lost a good 75 lbs and actually looked healthy.

2. Chocolate Fountain

A few years back when Golden Corral first got the chocolate fountains, I went there and was going to try it out. As I was walking up to the fountain and I started to contemplate what I was going to have, a toddler takes his drink and just pours that motherfucker into the fountain and ruins it. So anyways, the manager comes over and is going ballistic because they had just set it up for the day and now they would completely have to replace the chocolate. Shortly after, this man comes up and decides he wants some chocolate brownies, but he can’t as the machine is being purged in the back of the place, so what does he do? The guy just puts his tray down and leaves the restaurant, goes to the toddler’s family’s car and slashes their tires. He was never caught after that.

That man was a different kind of devoted that the world needs.

3. “Had to sleep it off”

I don’t work at a buffet, but I was that guy.

I’d been backpacking on the Appalachian Trail for a couple months (it’s a 2,100 mile hiking trail that runs from Georgia to Maine, along the US Appalachian Mountain range). Been eating nothing but ramen & instant oatmeal since Gatlinburg. I was getting hungry, OK? I was having dreams about meat.

So my friend and I hiked down from the trail to this tiny town, Catawba, Virginia, that only has one restaurant, the Homeplace—All You Can Eat Fried Chicken.

We walk in. We sit down. A waitress brings us a platter of fried chicken and a basket of homemade biscuits. And whenever we start running low, she brings another platter.

It’s not like most buffets, where the food’s crappy and watery and sugary but at least it’s unlimited. No. It’s the best damn fried chicken I’ve ever tasted. Crisp and juicy and greasy and just perfect.

Me and my pal gorge on fried chicken. Eat at least 5lbs each. I’m starting to feel very uncomfortable, so when the waitress shows up with the next platter, I wave her off. She clears the table.

And then she comes back carrying a motherfucking blackberry cobbler.

So we polish off the cobbler (it would have been impolite not to), pay our bill, grab our backpacks from the foyer & stand on the porch, contemplating the 1,500′ climb back up to the trail. And it becomes obvious that there is no conceivable way we are climbing back up to the trail tonight.

So I go back inside and ask the hostess if there’s anywhere to camp here in town, and she tells me, “you’re welcome to sleep in the gazebo out back.” Apparently, this happens all the time.

EDIT: we were not the only hikers in the gazebo that evening. These two other dudes came in later and ate harder and had to sleep it off with us.

4. Fight!

I watched a fight break out between a customer and a manager at an all you can stack restaurant.(You pay for a plate, and you can take as much as you can stack on a single plate) Anyway this guy had his plate stacked about 12+inches high with food. As he was reaching for a serving spoon he dropped his plate. He demanded another and the manager got pissed and told him he shouldn’t have stacked it so high. He refused to give the man a refund, he pointed to a sign that said something about paying for dropped food. Apparently wasn’t the first time this had happened.

5. Steak

My little brother nearly got kicked out of a Ryans steakhouse. When he was like 12 he had a crazy high metabolism and put away like 5 steaks from their buffet at once. Went to get a 6th one and the guy grilling them up forbid him from getting another one. Manager was called, my dad got pissed, brother got his 6th and 7th steak. Was a good night

6. Good ol’ Southern cooking

Once witnessed a man eat 4 plates of food piled high (I’m talking southern food, so it was all fried foods) claim he was having a heart attack and clutch his chest, then let the biggest, most foul smelling fart I have ever experienced.

After he laughed about it, he continued to go back and eat two more plates of entrees, and a plate of desserts.

7. Wait, what?

Not an employee, but still relevant.. when I was a kid, my mom, dad and I would go to a Chinese buffet quite often. My dad would put a mountain of food on his plate then never finish it. He’d then proceed to lay down in the restaurant floor and take a nap.

He also did the mountain of food thing at other places like Golden Corral, but he only laid down in the floor at the Chinese place.

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People Who Quit Their Jobs for Mental Health Reasons Reveal What Happened Next

If you have a job that makes your life miserable and even possibly makes you sick, physically and emotionally, then sometimes you need to take a leap of faith.

That sometimes means quitting your job even when you don’t have another one lined up.

That’s exactly what these AskReddit users did. Find out what happened after they quit…

1. Now you’re on call

“Yes. I had a job that I loved. Had coworkers I loved (I’m still friends with some). Ownership changed. My job that was a M-F, 9-5, somehow turned into on call all the time. My workload was always heavy, got added onto. I would say no to additional workload. It somehow still ended up on my plate. Somewhere around a year after the ownership change, I found myself googling heart attack, and mental breakdown symptoms because I knew something wasnt right.

I finally walked into work one day and handed in my notice. No job lined up. Didnt think it through. I wrote up my notice 5min before I left for work that day. Due to bills, I ended up taking a job I was overqualified for, and made crap for pay. But after a few months I got hired to where I am now.

I do the same type of job as the one I walked away from. Did it work out for me, I’d like to say yes. But only time will tell. I will say both myself and my family are much happier right now. And I havent wondered if I’m having a mental breakdown or possible heart attack since I left. That’s a win.”

2. No regrets

“Got burnt out and quit after bullshit management changes. Luckily I saved up a good amount of money to do whatever I wanted for about 4 months until I finally felt the need to better myself and move on with my life. Got another job that was safer than my last and went back to school to further my degree! It was a much needed break, don’t regret it one bit.”

3. No more

“Yes! I quit a very high-paying job, in fact. I was a software engineer.

It was great at first. I liked my coworkers, and the company was one of those startups that had a ping pong table and coldbrew coffee on tap and all that jazz. It was my first job out of college and I was dazzled by the cool community feel and all the “amenities.”

However, they had no system in place to train me. I was basically expected to just read the codebase and just instantly know exactly what to do. My team leader couldn’t answer my questions, and I quickly started drowning in work.

My once-recreational drug use turned habitual. I was railing lines of coke in the bathroom to stay awake because I stayed until 9pm trying to finish projects by the deadline and doing benzos at night to fall asleep. Once I finally started performing well, that only reinforced my terrible habits. I thought that if I stopped “self-medicating”, I would fall behind and they would fire me.

I cried every day. I was also the only female employee on the software team, and I got these paranoid thoughts in my head that my male coworkers didn’t really like me (in retrospect, I’m sure my alienation was totally my fault and a result of my anxiety). I didn’t even like the programming anymore. When I was in college, I interned with people who were using software to help charities, uncover bogus statistics, and generally lift up communities. My job was nothing like that. The people there acted like they were curing cancer, but the majority of what we did boiled down to helping huge companies build training platforms that were more “hip” and “cool.”

So I quit. Not just that job, but the whole field. I had started abusing harder drugs as well, and I knew I was going to end up killing myself. I went to rehab, and then I went back to school and got my Master’s degree in Education with a focus in mathematics.

I’m a private tutor and a substitute teacher now. I hope to get my PhD one day, but for now I am happy helping young people realize their dreams. I set my own schedule so that I’m able to pursue my passions: volunteering at a children’s hospital tutoring sick kids that need to miss school, and helping young women from local battered women’s shelters and homeless shelters learn graphic design and programming so that they can have valuable marketable job skills.

I’m two years clean from drugs and I have the most wonderful friends and a purrfect kitty! I am so, so happy I quit my job. Even though people thought I was insane for leaving the tech field (and I’m sure my mom’s friends talked shit about me behind her back), I’m glad I didn’t pay them any mind.”

4. Turn it around

“Yeah, I had been overworked and underpaid (and underappreciated) at a small resort for months. Tempers flared and I was given an ultimatum, I chose to walk out the door in the middle of the busy season.

The next night I went to a bar and saw another resort owner (and friend) saying goodbye to his only employee (he typically had 2-3). I walked up after and the conversation went like this:

Me: that sucks, do you have anything else lined up?

Him: nope, I’ve got nothing

Me: do you need somebody to help?

Him: do you need a job?

Me: yup, as of yesterday.

Him: show up tomorrow whenever you want and you’ve got the job.

The rest of the summer I ran his cafe/ shop (I had 7 years of cooking and 2 years retail management experience) and he ran the outfitter.

The first day after showing me around the kitchen he had to go attend to something, when he came back I had 20 people already eating and I was chatting them up and cleaning. He looked around and goes “well, you’re getting a raise.” The rest of the summer was great.”

5. Anxiety

“I quit my job of a year and a half out of anger and spite for my manager, and because of my quickly declining mental health.

While it helped at first the anxiety of not having a steady source of income took a much larger toll on me than anticipated and I really didn’t get to focus on my recovery/ therapy for my mental health until I had secured a new job to quell my anxieties.”

6. Time to quit

“Radio Shack. I worked there for about three months. They paid minimum wage + commission, and the only ways to earn commissions was pushing useless extended warranties or cell phones. And we had to push batteries, like AA and AAA batteries.

We were expected to get so many of these things every so many customers – batteries were like 1 out of every 10 customers. I got a headache every time I walked in for a shift, knowing I had to push this crap on people.

The major turning point for me was when my manager – who was just an arrogant little man who was built like Danny DeVito with John C. Reilly’s face – butted into a transaction of mine. The customer was a special needs man who was buying an up-convert DVD player. It didn’t feel right to push the extras on this man, considering the circumstances. My boss saw this and forcibly took over the transaction and talked this poor man into buying extra cables and disc cleaner and warranties for everything he could.

What should have been a roughly $50 purchase for this man ended costing him close to $100 when all was said and done. The cherry on top was when the man left, manager printed a copy of his receipt, shoved up in my face and proceeded to brag about it. I quit a few weeks later. Luckily, I was able to go back to my old job for a while, while I looked for a permanent job. I ended up going back to school about a year or so later.”

7. No reward

“Left my job of 15 years with nothing lined up because it was gaining me nothing any more aside from being overused for my job knowledge with no reward.

Took a month off, found another job that pays me more per hour than my last after I got promoted to supervisor after putting in 5 months. Couldn’t be happier”

8. Bad signs

“Quit my job at a call centre without anything lined up. I used to cry in my car before a shift, used up all my sick days, and it worsened my suicidal thoughts so I got myself out of there when I couldn’t take it anymore. I quietly stood up from my desk and quit on the spot. I had never walked out on a job before.

Took me a month to find another job with just slightly less hours (so a little less money) but it was worth it because I’m a lot better mentally and physically, and I like the job. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Also people have been asking where I’m from – I’m Canadian.”

9. F that noise

“Worked a call center job after one week of training and two days of actual work.

During the training you’re shown how it’s not possible to order a free trial of these expensive products without seeing the clearly marked (in multiple locations) terms and conditions.

But then I got to the floor and these people were old people who were offered a free gift when they bought something on amazon. They never went to a website and ordered a free trial. They were lied to and then charged $80+ three weeks later.

It was a scam built to prey on old people.

I had a panic attack on the way to work and quit when I arrived. Fuck that noise.

I was a new mom and we were really hurting for money. That was my first job after having my son and we had to beg money off relatives to stay afloat another month until I found a new job which was MUCH better. I was able to be hired as a substitute for a school district and, a month later, get rehired by the same district as a teacher’s aide.

Now I’m about to finish my certification and become a teacher.”

10. Not a scammer

“I worked for a shady company that sold a $2000 vacuum/air purifier. For some reason they needed someone to go door to door offering a “contest” where you had the chance to win $1000 in gas gift cards as long as you had someone come over and give a demonstration of the vacuum cleaner. Except I later found out that the contest winner was always someone in the company, and they give it back to the company.

I decided to quit after one day, I gave my speech about the “contest” to an old lady who didn’t seem to be all there, and she was super excited about the contest. I realized I’m not cut out for scamming people.”

11. Uggghhhh

“I worked in a retail store that was farming-based, but had the political atmosphere of Game of Thrones. Everyone hated each other and constantly tried to undermine one another. If you were talking to someone that someone else didn’t like, it was known across the store, and suddenly, people would stop talking to you. As in, you would stand there and ask a question, and they would turn their back on you.

I got zero training, got promoted to “zone manager,” (more work with no extra pay), and then injured my foot falling off of one of their rickety wooden ladders.

This caused everyone to turn on me because the store had to file a workman’s comp claim, so they missed out on the annual reward: a visit to the Golden Corral buffet in January.

Anyway, after about two weeks of mind-numbing boredom and having everyone staring daggers at me while I tried to figure out what the hell I was supposed to be doing, I just quit. Didn’t give notice. Just left my badge and vest there and went to lunch and never came back.

It took me a few months to find another job, but at least I was no longer alternating between openly weeping and feeling physically nauseous.”

12. I don’t agree with you

“I quit after an argument with my boss because I didn’t agree with how he did things.

Within two months I started my own company doing what he did but the way I thought it should be done. I am still running that business and he shut his down 3 years ago.”

13. A horrible industry

“I quit a job working as a logistics manager for a hospital. It was the worst job I ever had. The union reps would constantly mess with you, taunting you and try to get you fired, I was constantly on edge and would basically snap over everything. I developed a huge persecution complex where everyone was out to get me.

They would purposely feed you false information that would go against required practices. For example, one of the reps gave me a fake forecast for products we needed for the upcoming week, so I was to arrange the delivery/ordering and storing for the products. When I ordered it all and had it delivered I found out we needed like 1/10th of the products that was ordered, so I had to explain to the finance department why we exceeded our weekly budget.

Basically my choices were be fired, or quit because of the colossal fuck up. I was 21 at the time, I’m now in school to get my bachelors of accounting, so I guess it turned out pretty good because I could leave that horrible industry.”

14. Back stabbers

“Oh yes. I had a good job at a college. I felt so lucky to get it (administration) but it turned out that all the employees, staff and faculty, were back-stabbers who set you up for failure. I think it’s just the way academia runs, but I didn’t know that.

I stuck it out for nearly 7 years, and started having suicidal thoughts. Once I realized I was going a little crazy, I gave my notice and quit without a net. I never got over it, though. I’ve had a lot of rough jobs, but that was the absolute worst.”

15. Quite a story

“I worked for an insurance company for 6 years. Was fun at first then went through a divorce and all five years in and stopped caring. So I quit, cashed out my 401K and drove from Indiana down to Key West and got fucking trashed for a week. Then traveled to various states and just hung out and did what the fuck ever. Lasted three months and then went back to Indiana and then went to work for a different insurance company.

I don’t regret it. It was healing and uplifting and met some cool people along the way.”

Have you ever been in this position? What did you do?

Share your story in the comments!

The post People Who Quit Their Jobs for Mental Health Reasons Reveal What Happened Next appeared first on UberFacts.

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The People Who Committed These 15 Crimes Against Food Need to Be Sent to Prison Immediately

I’m having a hard time getting over this.

I didn’t think that reading all of these super weird/disgusting/horrible food combos would upset me so much… but yeah… I’m upset. Like REALLY way too upset.

Why do you do this to food, people? How do you think this is right?

Sorry in advance fo the complete and absolute destruction of your current future appetites.

1. Went too far.

“I used to be obsessed with A1 steak sauce. I would put it on EVERYTHING possible because I loved it so much. One day, I put it on jello.

I no longer enjoy A1.”

2. Purple cow? More like purple garbage can!

“When I visited my aunt’s family as a kid she served a ‘purple cow’ — milk mixed with grape juice — for breakfast.

If you haven’t tasted that, take my word for it.

It’s not a great concoction.”

3. A complete nutter

“My mom puts peanut butter on cold pizza.

It is the closest flavor to vomit that is not vomit.”

4. Christ on a cracker!

“My sister would make Ritz cracker ‘sandwiches,’ except the thing that went between the two Ritz cracker ‘buns’ was ANOTHER Ritz cracker…except she’d chewed it up and spit it out onto the other two.

It was disgusting.”

5. You get a divorce IMMEDIATELY! You hear me?!?

“My wife dips her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into SpaghettiOs.”

6. Disgusting word of the year: creamify

“This kid I knew in school used to rip open his milk carton and dip his burrito into his chocolate milk.

Sometimes he’d even go so far as to rip open the burrito itself and pour his milk onto the beef and eggs in order to (and I’m quoting him here) ‘creamify the meat.’

I don’t know, man, the word ‘creamify’ is just… ugh.”

7. This bothers everybody

“My mom’s boyfriend. Crushed Cheez-It crackers.

Into his coffee.

Mom said I shouldn’t let it bother me.

It bothers me.”

8. Your extended family is pit full of food-ruining vipers and must be stopped!

“My wife likes to make crunchy peanut butter and bologna sandwiches (with cheese). Her mom also adds mayo.

I just can’t bring myself to try it — literally start retching at the thought of the flavor.”

9. You no good, dirty sonofabitch…

“I watched a guy pour Sprite into a nice $50 bottle of wine because he didn’t like the flavor.”

10. OMFG!

“My baby sister used to eat pancakes with ranch dressing.

My mom just accepted it because she was SUCH a picky eater, and this was something she just thoroughly enjoyed.

We’re pretty sure it’s because my mom craved both (though separately) when she was pregnant with her.”

11. Sir, you are in PUBLIC?!

“There was a dude in my dining hall that had a plate of sunny-side-up eggs.

Scooped under an egg with his fork, brought it up to his mouth, and only touched his lips to the yolk. Proceeded to suck all the yolk, and then slurped the rest of the egg in.

It was like a car crash; I couldn’t look away but I was horrified.”

12. We will no longer be talking to each other. Thank you. Bye!

“A couple of years ago when my best friend and I were still in college, she stayed over at my place a few times.

It was then that I learned that she liked dipping cheese into hot chocolate. Like, full on dunking it in, waiting for it to partially melt, swirling it around, and then eating it.

I love her to bits, she’s like my sister…but I still haven’t entirely recovered.”

13. Okay, I’m done. I can’t do this any longer.

“I work at a pub waiting tables.

One day, this couple walked in who I’d never seen, but were apparently regulars. The bartender saw them, shot me a glance, and went to grab something from the kitchen.

Before even taking their order, he’d filled the crushed red pepper shaker and told me to take it over to them. The woman ordered a small cup of french onion soup and proceeded to unscrew the cap of this shaker and dump THE ENTIRETY of it onto her soup.

She was eating spicy red pepper like cereal and didn’t even ask for a drink refill.”

14. I’m officially dead.

“I used to work as a bartender.

One day, a middle-aged man walked in and ordered a beer with milk.”

15. Oh god! I didn’t stop. Why?!?!?

“Saw a dude eat spaghetti in milk one time.

One very dark time.”

*shudder*

I need a shower.

The post The People Who Committed These 15 Crimes Against Food Need to Be Sent to Prison Immediately appeared first on UberFacts.

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Waiters Share the Most Insane Things They’ve Overheard at Their Tables

Waiters must hear a ton of ridiculous things every day with the flow of people in and out of their places of employment.

Check out these 26 Reddit stories from waiters and waitresses who overheard hilarious conversations and bizarre customer interactions.

1. No ifs, ands, or butts about it

I had a summer job at a seafood place around the Charleston area. I seat this couple who were pretty funny. Anyways, I bring them their drinks and ask if they’re ready to order. I can’t remember what the husband ordered, but the wife didn’t like it. So he looks at her and says “Woman, I’ll still eat that butt of yours when you eat chili, so don’t give me no crap for ordering what I want”. She immediately replied “Harvey, I just need you to shut the hell up”. Then they both started laughing. Best table ever. And they tipped me like $20.

2. Clearly a bad girl

I saw a mother take her knife and with the flat part of it, whack the hand of her 2 year-old child because she was drawing something with her left hand. She yelled at her “No, use your right hand. Good girls don’t write with their left hand.”

This was as I was standing there taking their order and writing with my left hand.

3. You read that right

My favorite was a group of nurses. Pouring waters as one says the sentence “So a guy came in for an adult circumcision yesterday…”

Never ask a nurse about their day. It was worse than yours.

4. Princess Mommy

I approached a table with a family of five to take their order. Two adults and three kids from about 5 to 10 or so. One of the kid starts to say something and the father cuts him off by saying “Don’t say another word Peter. Nobody says a thing until princess Mommy makes up her mind and decides what she wants for dinner.” Followed by long awkward silence and me leaving.

5. Clown, ’nuff said

Party of five or six, it’s a group of friends having dinner. In walks a clown. Clown starts randomly walking around the restaurant doing balloon animals for kids and stuff like that. I have no idea what is going on, we didn’t hire this guy.

He walks over to the table of 5 or 6 and selects a man from the table to perform a magic trick for. He did the trick, a small flash of smoke and fire happens and then magically there is an engagement ring on a rope. The man takes the ring and the woman gets on her knees and asks the man to marry her. The man says no, tells her to get up and they continue dinner. This table now has the attention of the entire restaurant (like 300-400 people on our busiest night). Everybody just turned away and started awkwardly eating like nothing happened.

6. I hope you would

Shucker at an oyster bar here. So other than all the obvious terrible jokes I get, I can say, without a doubt, the most messed up thing I’ve ever heard was a man sitting with a woman who was getting more and more distraught and the man looks at her and says “Look, I told you when this whole thing started if I had to choose between you or my wife I’m picking my wife”.

7. Billy Bob dreams

I waited tables for 10 years at this small family owned restaurant in rural Ohio that had a “famous” sandwich. It was on a few Food Network shows and stuff like that.

A family comes in. Mom, dad, two little kids. I take their drink orders and as I am getting the drinks, the dad pulls me aside.

Dad: “My son is obsessed with Billy Bob Thorton. We told him that Billy Bob comes here and eats from time to time, so could you just play along.”

Me: “Yeah of course, no problem.”

I return with the drinks and the son, who is about 5 years old, starts asking me questions about Billy Bob Thorton. Like what he orders, if he is nice, stuff like that. I make stuff up, because I want a good tip and don’t want to ruin this little kids life. He is so excited to hear that Billy Bob comes to the same place he is at.

I can only imagine other scenarios where Billy Bob Thorton has appeared in this kid’s life.

8. Double up

I was at the bar, not waiting tables, but I have two stories. The first was a couple that sat down directly in front of where I was washing glasses. This was during the NBA Finals so I thought it was a bit odd they seemed so sad while everyone else was enjoying the game. They spent at least 4 hours there and from what I was able to hear they were discussing having another kid to fix their relationship. I guess she had cheated on him because she felt ’empty’ but didn’t want to end their relationship as they already had kids together. The guy was clearly very upset but said he’d support her if this is what she wanted.

The other was last week during a huge fundraiser we hosted. A group of 3 or 4 ladies were noticeably uncomfortable and when I asked if they were okay they told me that one of them had a stalker who constantly shows up at her house, work, and calls her repeatedly. He just showed up to the bar. She had threatened to call the police if he didn’t leave her alone, so what did he do? Naturally, he bought her a drink as an apology.

9. Read the manual

When I was a waiter, people often pretended that I wasn’t there. The stories they told were amazingly personal. One woman at a table of 6 lunching ladies told the story of how her husband was recently prescribed viagra. “He took it like a vitamin – 1 pill every morning. He kept having erections at work and didn’t understand why.”

10. Dying

Late one night I had this couple who were maybe in their late 30s. The guy looked a tough guy.

From the moment they came in, the woman was crying the whole time. Not like, a little bit crying but straight up bawling. She hadn’t talked to me the entire time, but the guy was very chatty. He explained to me how he had just found out that he only had a few months left to live and how she, his “angel” was gonna take care of his boy for him and all this crap. Anyway, I felt pretty genuinely bad cause that’s a pretty sad thing to hear.

Then I saw them come in again over a year and a half later…. Acting totally normal. They didn’t remember me, but how do you forget the face of someone that told you they were dying?

11. That’s cuz you can’t

Ex waiter. I’m walking down a long hallway carrying a tray of food. A kid comes running from a perpendicular hallway and run face first into the wall without putting his hands up. He starts crying. The dad walks behind him very calmly and kneels down and says, “Buddy, you just can’t go running into walls.”

12. Apples and spaghetti

I sat a table of three: a mom, her daughter, and her grandma.

After sitting, Grandma left to order spaghetti at the Italian place next door.

Mom seemed to be having an existential crisis. I asked her what she wanted to drink.

“I don’t know,” she said.

“Can I get you some water?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want me to come back later?”

“I’m not sure.”

The daughter, who was getting impatient, stood up on her chair.

“Hey!” she said. “I’ll have you know. I want apples!”

“But first I have to get you something to drink. Would you like some water?”

“I want apples!”

Grandma ate Italian food in silence while Mom stared at a menu for an hour and a half and the daughter ate apples. When they finished, Mom paid, and they left. She tipped well, considering all they bought was $.50-worth of apple slices.

13. Nothing in life is free

“I heard if you complain here you get your meal for free”

I sidled by and politely told her that wasn’t the case.

14. A happy meal

My Mom and I went to a restaurant in a town we were visiting, and we were seated close by a family just sitting down to dinner. As soon as they sat down, the waitress asked if they wanted a drink. Dad and Mom ordered wine and son looks at waitress and then blurts out to his parents “I’m gay.”

Waitress leaves. Parents look at their son and then look at each other. Mom then asks Dad what he is thinking of having to eat. Son again exclaims “I’m gay.” Parents look at him deadpan and say in unison, “we know”. Then waitress came and took our orders and I didn’t hear what happened next. But they stayed and enjoyed their meal and seemed to be fine with each other.

15. Happily ever after

Heard a group of 3 women talking about how each of their 4th/5th/ whatever many marriages are going and how they treat marrying for money as their career.

One of them paid with their newest husband’s black AMEX card.

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15 People Admit Why They Immediately Lost Interest in Their Crush

Crushes can be all-consuming, but it turns out there are things that will make them evaporate at the drop of a hat.

The 15 things below are definitely a good (bad?) start.

15. It made me feel unimportant

Back in college I was seeing a girl casually. Whenever we’d text, she’d take hours to respond to any message. It wasn’t a big deal, since most of the time it was just chatting or setting plans for the following weekend or something. It was a little annoying because it’d take a full day or two to set up plans because of the slow responses, but whatever. I’m a bad texter so I can’t really judge someone for that.

But I started to notice that when we hung out together, she’d immediately respond back to any and every text she got. She had some loud song as the ringtone that played for like 15 seconds, and set it so that her camera LED would flash constantly while it rang. Totally obnoxious and made me really notice how often she texted. I casually asked her who she was texting one time and it was just some friend from school that had sent her a meme.

After that I realized it wasn’t going to work. Being a slow texter is fine. Constantly texting while hanging out was annoying, but not a dealbreaker (especially if we were just chilling at one of our houses). But the realization that this person who was glued to her phone but didn’t feel like it was a priority to respond back to my texts made me feel unimportant so I kinda just drifted away. We stayed friends because we shared the same group of friends and it wasn’t awkward or anything. I just stopped trying to do things with just the two of us.

14. What’s so funny?

She told me her future plans to essentially become a gold digger like her mother. When I laughed it off she couldn’t see what I thought was so funny.

13. He let it slip

He let it slip that he was cheating on his SO in getting together with me. Killed that crushy feeling dead.

12. Not in person

he wouldn’t talk to me in person for some reason

11. Right out the window

We were driving down the road and she threw a Starbucks cup right out the window. Gross.

Edit: thanks for the silver! Also, I was a passenger so I couldn’t kick her out, and I’m honestly not sure it was Starbucks—but it was easier than saying “paper coffee cup”. ?

10. He’d cut me off

He would ask me questions about myself, then cut me off in the middle of my answer to talk about himself.

9. He corrected me.

Not so much a crush, but we were in the initial sentences of the conversation getting to know each other. We were describing to one another what our jobs were. He corrected me on describing my job.. stopped right there, said it wasn’t going to work out and ended the conversation..

8. She thought it was flirty and cute

Poured lemonade on my head in the middle of a fireworks show, she thought it was flirty and cute.

7. The candle had blown out

I ran into an old crush a few years back who told me he was in to dog baiting. The candle had blown out a long time ago as far as my crush was concerned but that pretty much killed any intention I had of trying to restart our friendship.

6. The hell I will!

Crush comes to my house. I explain how I’m slowly remodeling it and my plans for my house.

She then starts telling me I shouldn’t and I should do it her way, and let her take it over and let her design, decorate, and do it all. The hell I will.

5. I pretended my parents were calling

I was casually dating a 19 year old guy when I was 18. He seemed totally normal until I met him at his house before a date and his mom asked him to take the garbage out before we left. He threw a fit that would embarrass most 3 year olds including crying, yelling at his mom, and punching the floor.

I pretended that my parents were calling and needed me to come home, blocked his number, and never saw him again.

4. Now’s the time!

Met a woman, thought she seemed cool. We went out to eat, she’s telling me about how she fell on financial hard times and moved back in with her parents. The way she described it, just sounded like she got unlucky, not that she did anything irresponsible. It happens. When the bill came I told her I’d pay. She said, “Thanks, I appreciate that, I’m trying to save my money right now.”

Me: “Sure, I understand, you want to get your own place again.”

Her: “No, actually I mean I’m trying to save up $500 for a tattoo I want to get.”

I’ve got nothing against spending money on tattoos, but when you’ve just spent a first date talking about the financial troubles you have, maybe now’s the time to start putting money away for necessities, not tattoos.

3. Not ok and not cool!

Said she would turn up on a date, then flaked. Told me she had been called into work urgently. I said ok that’s cool. Second time she flaked again said that she had to tutor someone. Which made no sense because would you not have that planned ?

2. I didn’t want to take advantage

I went on two dates with a girl when I was in college.

She was wonderful but immediately wanted to be “official” and started drafting Instagram posts about “us”. She wanted to spend every day together and have sleep overs every night. it was so out of nowhere and we literally knew nothing about one another.

I tried to look past it but she asked me to be her first and I got uncomfortable. she seemed naive and I didn’t want to take advantage. I suggested we take things slow and she took offense. I cut things off and her reaction was super childish.

All of this in a 3 week period.

Sweet girl but the pacing was off.

1. Completely one-sided

Went on a date with them and they didn’t ask me anything about myself.

It was completely one sided—like a job interview or something.

I’m a guy, by the way.

The more you know!

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Psych Ward Nurses Share the Moments That Totally Shocked Them

Working with the mentally ill or criminally insane is definitely one that only a few among us are well-suited to tackle. What a tough gig.

It’s always interesting to peek behind the curtain, and these 15 psych ward nurses are here with some truly jaw-dropping tales.

15. Naked as a jaybird

Years ago, I was a student nurse doing my psych rotation in a catholic facility. The nuns still wore habits and the building was like something out of the dark ages. I’ll skip talking about the line of patients waiting to undergo ECT treatment in the basement and instead tell you about Maggie. She was a tragic case. She had been on Lithium for years and it really kept her psychotic episodes in check until reached toxic levels and could no longer take it.

One hot summer afternoon, we heard this banshee screaming coming from Maggie’s room. We rushed in there to see what was going on. Entering the room, we are greeted by a scene I will never forget. This late seventies woman is standing on the window ledge, naked as a jay bird, screaming through the window screens at the nuns in the courtyard, “you fucking penguins are going to burn in hell”. The poor sisters are scrambling to and fro trying to get away from the ranting madwoman’s viscous verbal assault as we were trying desperately to pull her off the grating.

I knew then and there, that I would never become a psych nurse.

14. Those were the days

Prison guard here: guy cut his scrotum open to let people know he was serious (dont know about what)

Guy 2 : cut off a butt cheek (or a big part of) and threw it at me as i tried to stop him.

Guy 3: punched a wall 3 times really hard (bloody knuckles) and told me he punched the devil cos he was telling him to stab me but im cool so he told the devil to fuck off.

Guy 4: pretended to drown himself in a toilet ( basically splashed pee on his face and rolled around crying

Guy 5: had sex with a window air vent and was complient yet confused when i asked him to stop

Those were the days….

13. He played the piano like a pro

Had a catatonic guy who could play the piano like a pro, classic, jazz, ragtime, but otherwise just sat in his chair and stared.

12. She wanted to be a vampire

Not me, but someone I knew was in a ward with a girl who wanted to be a vampire and drank blood from her own tampons.

It’s as atrocious as it sounds. She was around 16 and schizophrenic.

11. That’s MY tooth!

I’m an RN in boston in a psych hospital and I’ve seen some shit.

One of the things I’ll never ever forget was we had this manic guy that had been transferred from another unit cause he kept getting in fights over there and all the other patients were trying to attack him. I was still working nights back then and at about 3am he came up to me and said his tooth hurt and he needed to see a dentist right away. I said I don’t have a dentist for him to see but when the doctor comes in the morning we can take a look.

Gave him some Tylenol and sent him back to bed.

About 5 minutes later he came out saying it really hurt and he needed to see a dentist to pull his tooth. Again I told him theres no dentist but maybe I can get some more pain meds. In the middle of me explaining this to him he sticks his hand in his mouth and rips his molar out of his head and handed it to me. Blood starts pouring out of his mouth but he did even to seem to notice. After I clean him up and get the bleeding to stop and call the doctor to get him some ativan he goes “make sure you give me that tooth back when I leave, that’s MY tooth don’t try and steal it”. Fucking wild shit.

10. He was given a whole tub

This was actually in a state hospital that is part of the prison system for mentally ill offenders.

Patient asked for Vaseline. Which is fine. They can have Vaseline, whatever.

But this patient was given a whole tub, so of course he stripped completely naked, covered himself in Vaseline, and ran. It was a secure unit, and he didn’t escape, but we couldn’t get him back into his cell all shift because he was too fucking slippery.

No more tubs.

9. I never corrected her

I was a CNA for about 4 years and the saddest ever was my client/resident constantly thought I was her daughter. She went to Harvard and was an extremely brilliant lady in her time. She was non verbal but every time I walked into her room she would exclaim “Elizabeth you came”. I loved this lady so much, she would only eat when I fed her she was extremely combative with everyone but me. I ended up quitting my job there but visited her every single day. To the point that her family kind of accepted me as their family. I finally found out that Elizabeth took her own life at 21 and the fact that she thought I was her gave her extreme joy. I never corrected her and I like to think I gave her peace when she passed holding my hand. She was an amazing lady and I miss her to this day.

8. All of our mouths were wide open

We had an older black lady who would walk up and down the ward constantly mumbling. It never stopped. I think she would get something like Thorazine to calm her down but she would fight it and her eyes would be all droopy and she’d slow down but she kept going. Nobody understood a word she said and she was there for at least over 6 months. She was punched out once by a patient while he was on the phone because she kept walking by ranting. He just lost it.

Anyway I’m up there doing a patrol one day (I was security) and shes ranting and walking up and down the ward as usual and they call her to come get her meal. She sits down and opens her tray and stops ranting and states clear as day: “I didn’t order no diabetic tray BITCH.”

Every last person turned to her and all of our mouths were wide open. That was the only thing she ever said clearly.

7. Sure as shit

We had a psych patient on our floor that wasn’t really “crazy” crazy, just really confused and unpleasant in general.

One night I was mixing his drink with some thickener, and per usual he started yelling about me poisoning him. I explained what it was and that we’re all here to help him, not hurt him, and he responds with, “I’m just going to die.” His vitals were fine, he was alert, no red flags, and like I said, he was always pretty unpleasant so I didn’t think much of it.

Sure as shit, he coded an hour later and we never got him back.

Edit: coded is slang for “code blue” which is what they call over intercom/pagers when someone’s stopped breathing, or their heart has stopped.

6. Looking for booze

Obligatory not me, but my former best friend told me the story.

She wasn’t a nurse but did an internship at a psych ward for adults and part of her internship was supervising the adults outside in the garden, making sure they didn’t harm themselves, others and/or run away and to talk to them.

She and about 5 patients were outside on a beautiful summer day, each relaxing and smoking in silence, basically just chilling like fully functioning adults. Until one woman, about early 70s (no alzheimers or something) took her chair, pulled it right next to my friend, stepped on it, clumsily climbed the stone wall surrounding the small outside area, yelled “Bye, bitches!” and ran away.

My friend and the others just sat there, staring after her, not being able to believe what they’d just seen.

She was found 15 minutes later, just wandering through the city looking for booze.

I just can’t not laugh at the thought of this granny climbing the wall and yelling “Bye, bitches” while fastly waddling away

5. Problem solved!

This might not fit perfect, but I love this story.

How about in an inpatient addiction clinic? The first one that comes to mind was something I witnessed between a patient and another floor tech. We had a man who was in serious detox, drug if choice was meth. He was throwing a huge tantrum, not uncommon in DTs, people will do just about anything to get a fix. We weren’t a locked facility, so it wasn’t like he was stuck there. He genuinely wanted help, that’s why he stuck around, and we were there to listen and help him through the shakes, hallucinations, and other symptoms.

He was slamming his fists on the desk at this point, and he had started just yelling “I just want some fucking ice!” (Slang for crystal meth) Well, the tech with me was inexperienced, although much older than me, and while I talked to him and tried to calm him down, she went back to our staff kitchen and got him a glass of ice. Like, frozen water. She brought it out to him and put it in his hand like, Problem Solved!, and the guys just froze with confusion, staring at it. The patient and I both realized at the same time she thought he wanted ice and we just started at eachother and started laughing. He was in for a rough couple of days, but I’ve never seen someone jump from near psychotic episode to giggling so fast.

4. I couldn’t have seen what I saw

When I was in nursing school I had a clinical in the state funded psyc ward downtown. I was assigned to sit with this one girl to “monitor” her behavior. She spent about thirty minutes doing nothing but eating pudding cups with a plastic spoon. She ate like 6 of them in half an hour. Then out of nowhere she very calmly licked her spoon completely clean and pulled her shirt sleeve up before shoving the entire spoon into an incision in her arm near her bicep… then very calmly said, “Ohps.”

The nurses that worked there didn’t believe me. They kept saying I was making it up and that I couldn’t have seen what I saw.

Only later on, like four hours later (it was a 12 hr clinical), the orderly notice the girl had some blood on her shirt. He took her into her room to change her clothes and noticed that an incision on her arm had dehisced and had been bleeding.

Then eventually agreed to send her to the hospital for testing.

The X-ray showed the entire spoon, sucked into the fat of her upper arm, through an incision where they’d removed a birth control implant in the week before…

Apparently the girl had slowly been picking at the sutures and opening it bit by bit until it was deep enough to fit an entire plastic spoon….

The girl admitted that the “ohps” was because it had gotten sucked in and couldn’t be pulled out, not because she’s stuck a spoon in her arm….

Totally bizarre.

3. I had to gather my thoughts

Psych ward counselor here. Early in my career I had a teenage girl with suicidal ideations and severe depression. The year before, on thanksgiving, her dad pulled a gun from under the dinner table and blew his brains out in front of everyone. I normally form a response pretty quickly, even a “wow,” but when she told me I got quiet, leaned back, exhaled, and had to gather my thoughts.

2. Straight out of the movies

I’m not a nurse but was a patient once. Giant dude got upset one dude changed the channel from a football game he was watching and smashed his skull with his fists. Not fully, but enough that when they brought him back a few days later he started seizing and had to be removed again. Didn’t see him again.

Also, there was one lady who was straight out of the movies. Walking around preaching the end of days loudly and sweating like crazy.

1. Two of her own fingers

Not a nurse, pharmacist.

Had one of our Clozapine patients miss a monthly meeting to discuss their medication. Called around, found out she was in the ICU having eaten two of her own fingers then visited her mother for coffee, still bleeding.

Had a friend tell me of another patient, made a cut in his thigh and reopened it regularly until the whole thing was a scar tissue cavern, by some miracle avoiding infection. Started using his “meat pocket” to hold pens and coins and anything he could collect in his ward. Nobody knew until a paperclip pierced the side and he finally wound up with an infection that took him to ICU where they found his stash.

Yep, I’ll stick with sitting on my butt with a computer!

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15 People Share the Craziest Things Drill Instructors Made Them Do

Boot camp is not for the weak or the faint of heart.

So what happens when you screw up? Some crazy, hilarious, unexpected things.

Here are 16 times that things did not go according to plan.

1. I tree what you did there…

The drill instructor made a recruit stand in front of a tree, point at it, and say, “I’m not funny, you are,” when he was caught laughing.

The DI did actually laugh at that one.

2. Tops

I had a soldier one time stop doing mountain climbers while we were being smoked as a platoon.

The DS came up and squatted down, yelling in his face. Recruit yelled back, “This soldier has made it to the top of the mountain, Drill Sergeant!”

The dude just walked away trying not to break with laughter.

3. The force

A pair of battle buddies were late to the formation. Everyone was lined up waiting for them to get dressed, and they ran down about three seconds apart from each other which was a big mistake.

The first one ran out, and drill sergeant screamed, “FREEZE… Aren’t you supposed to have someone with you?” Without skipping a beat, the private replied, “The force is always with me, drill sergeant.” After thinking about it for a second, he told the private to shut up and fall in line. His buddy, meanwhile, had made his way outside and was trying (poorly) to sneak into line.

The drill sergeant saw the private trying to sneak in, “Well now hold on a second, who’s this big shot over here walking around like he owns the place? You the new top? You think you’re special?”

The private replied, “No drill sergeant, I’m the force.”

Everyone, including the lead drill, lost their cool for two seconds.

4. You blue it!

USAR here.

One of the other platoon’s DS in my company took them upstairs to hand out personal letters from our family. While the remainder of us were down in the central training area cleaning our weapons, we heard a muffled cadence coming from two stories up.

Apparently, the DS made them bear crawl around the barracks room while whipping letters at each person, all the while they had to sing the Blues Clue’s “We just got a letter” song.

5. One time is enough!

When I got to basic training, I was so nervous I didn’t know what to do. You wait in processing for like, a day or two and then go to your drill sergeants.

When I got off the bus, I was immediately smoked. I was so excited and nervous that I just awkwardly started smiling while in the front leaning rest position. The drill sergeant got down in the pushup position with me and was going up and down until he finally just cracked a huge smile and I lost it.

It was the only time I saw him smile. But was hilarious.

6. Brand new BFFs!

I had two guys get in a fight in our bay during basic training.

The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretend to be on a date all week.

The only time they could let go of each other’s hands was rack time.

They ended up becoming pretty good friends.

7. You’re toast

During the beginning of basic training, we were monitored while we ate, which included being told when to begin “consuming” and when to stop. We had this chubby kid who was having a particularly rough time, and you could see he was already close to breaking.

We were told our chow time was up and we all instantly got up from our seats and formed a line next to the wall at the end of our tables to clear our tray. The chubby kid did not join us but instead chose to sit and finish his meal. He was completely alone in the middle of the mess hall.

A drill instructor came up to him and immediately began berating him.

The chubby kid looked at the drill instructor dead in the eyes while sitting and had a completely insane look on his face. In his hand, he had a butter knife clinched in what I can only describe as a threatening manner.

Without missing a beat, the drill instructor yelled at him, “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT TUBBY, SPREAD ME ON YOUR TOAST?!”

8. Look! It’s a bird!

Was the XO of a basic training rotation in 2001. I had a young man who couldn’t do two sit-ups. He cried, saying, “I can’t!” A drill sergeant came over and after yelling at him about how all he’d ever done in his life was eat Cheetos, he told him that he had better never hear the words “I can’t” ever again.

He then said, “Even if I tell you to fly, you’d better take off running with your arms flapping!” He then proceeded to run around the kid flapping his arms screaming “caw-caw” at the top of his voice!

I thought I’d fall out laughing!

9. Shoooooos

When I was doing my basic military qualifications, I had forgotten my running shoes for P.E. I only had my boots.

While the rest of the unit was running laps around the facility, the Master Corporal took me outside and had me march to his instructions in the back parking lot. This was in February and the lot had just been plowed. There was a particularly large snow mountain in the very center of the lot (15 feet high or so).

He had me march over the snowbank countless times, back and forth, falling down every so often while he yelled. The others were back inside at this point watching it happen, enjoying lunch.

Never forgot my shoes again.

10. You, Me & Everybody!

We had a perpetual screw-up in our platoon that for once actually did nothing wrong.

However, his reputation led the DI to believe he did. So for a good hour or so, they made him leap between one set of bunks, crawl under the next, then leap between the next, over and over and over.

All while yelling, “Me, Myself, and I, sir!”

11. Oh cute

I saw a recruit doing burpees and at the top of his jump, he’d have his arms stretched out while yelling, “I’m a beautiful star!”.

12. Grave consequences…

Not in boot camp but in a “school” setting in the military.

In our formation one morning, I heard a loud slap. A guy killed a fly or a mosquito or something. The instructor started screaming that Corpsmen do not kill unless defending themselves, their Marines or patients. He had just killed an unarmed friendly and would give it a proper burial.

He made us all dig a human-sized grave while the sailor that killed the fly stood there watching with a dead fly in hand. We gave it a funeral and everything (without honors) and had to fill in the hole.

We kinda hated that guy for a while.

13. Skittles

We had a recruit in our platoon that got caught with Skittles out of an MRE in his rack. The next time we had an MRE out in field week, the DI had him sit in the middle of everyone and anyone who had Skittles had to pass them forward. They made him eat only Skittles for the entirety of chow as fast as he could.

Of course, he puked later on, but imagine trying to eat Skittles that fast. He said his jaw was on fire.

We called him Skittles from then on of course.

14. Grenade!

As a former recruit, we were taught how to throw frag grenades.

I went on auto-pilot and threw it like how they did in movies— I pulled the ring by the teeth and threw. The DI caught me doing it the first time, ran over to me, then commanded me to demonstrate how I threw the grenade.

I mimed it, which made him laugh at the top of his lungs.

He beckoned the other DI’s to come over and made me mime it again.

I got torched.

15. Faaaaaaaarttttttttttt! **safety**

During basic training, when we were all getting to know each other, one guy said that he was a daytime manager of a nightclub. Another guy then asked, “What the heck do you do as a daytime manager of a nightclub?” The DS could barely keep it together.

In another instance, while we were having shooting practice, these two idiots were chatting, One guy said, “Hey dude, listen to this,” and he let one rip right as the DS stopped talking.

The DS busted his butt laughing.

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15 High School Teachers Share the Dark Secrets They Keep from Students

Teachers have a rough job. And they also have to keep a lot of the BS to themselves because they can’t exactly come right out and tell their students how much they can’t stand them, right?

That’s why this article is so good.

These teachers got personal on AskReddit and admitted the dark secrets about their jobs.

1. No surprise there

“Your parents are literally the worst part of my job.”

2. Drama, please

“Yes, I put you in a group with the kid you have a crush on intentionally. I’m stuck here with you 180 days a year — I want to see some drama.”

3. Nice try

“The weed smell doesn’t magically disappear between the parking lot and my classroom.”

4. C’mon, parents

“If your parents email a teacher and argue with them, the whole staff knows.”

5. They hear all

“We have much better hearing than you assume. We just choose our battles as it pertains to inappropriate comments.”

6. Don’t stand out

“If I know your name by the third day of a new school year, that means you’re probably an asshole.”

7. Truth bomb

“My students are the reason why I am second-guessing having my own kids.”

8. Joke’s on you

“When you think you are being genius by getting me to talk about random things at the beginning of class instead of ‘teaching.’ I’m really allowing it to happen because I don’t have enough planned to cover a full class.”

9. You stink

“I can smell you. Everyone can. Please, for the love of god, use deodorant.”

10. No one likes that

“I am no longer a teacher, but I remember several days that I felt lazy and wanted to give the class the day off. I never did because I knew the teacher’s pet would rat me out. Sometimes even the teachers don’t like the teacher’s pet.”

11. Scandalous

“A lot of us drink, smoke, and sleep around more than you do, and hearing you try to hide it as if it’s something we wouldn’t know about is richly ironic.”

12. Show some respect

“I’d let you get away with so much more if you were actually a decent person who treated others with kindness and respect. Assholes rarely get the benefit of doubt or indifference.”

13. Look busy

“One of the most valuable lessons I can teach you is to fake looking busy. If we’re supposed to be working on an assignment or reading or whatever, and you see me coming your way…at the least have a piece of paper on your desk and a pen in your hand and some shit on your paper, and then I won’t bother you.”

14. One day

“One day you’re going to come across people who are not being paid to tolerate you, and all of a sudden life is going to become considerably more difficult.”

15. Chill out

“I wish I could let my students know how dumb they look sometimes. And how they need to relax and stop taking themselves so seriously.”

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People Share the Things They Didn’t Know Were “So American” Until They Traveled Outside the U.S.

You ever travel outside of the U.S. and people immediately have you pegged as an American? I personally think most Americans get a pretty bad rap as travelers due to a very select few who are ignorant and obnoxious. But I also think we are not nearly as bad as some other travelers abroad.

Here are 15 things you might not realize make you stand out as “totally American” in countries across the pond.

#15. Ketchup isn’t free.

“At a buffet in Germany, I had to pay for ketchup.”

#14. The size of cars.

“I did an art history course in Italy. What really stood out to me was the size of cars over there. Over here you have a mix of mid sized sedans and pick up trucks/SUV’S, with the occasional compact car (back when I went compact cars here were incredibly scarce). Over there, it seemed like most everyone drove a compact car, with the occasional sports car. I remember counting six pickup trucks in the 10 days I was there (for comparison, I can name more than 6 people I know with a pick up here).”

#13. The whole of Ireland.

“Massively wide roads/lanes. The whole of Ireland made me feel claustrophobic, but when I got back home the roads felt like way too much wasted space.”

#12. Constantly refilled.

“Having your drink constantly refilled ay restaurants. I just wanna drink a ton of water alright?”

#11. Violently American.

“Tailgates. I’ve lived in the states my entire life, but when my Spanish girlfriend came to visit I wasn’t sure what I could show her that really exhibited American culture. There are plenty of American stereotypes you see on TV, but it wasn’t until I took her to a tailgate that I realized how violently American the whole experience is. A huge parking lot full of drunk twenty year olds bouncing on trucks bigger than most European apartments, with half the trucks blaring country, and the other half blasting rap. Solo cups and beer cans all over the place, grills, corn hole, etc. I’ve traveled to quite a few different countries, and I can’t really see a tailgate happening most other places.”

#10. American flavored.

“Ranch flavor Doritos in the Netherlands are called “Cool American” flavor.”

#9. Drive-thrus.

“I’m from northern europe but have visited USA couple of times. Their love for SUV cars and drive-thru is unreal, like there is a dunkin, subway and three kinds of fast food place next to each other and all of them have a drive-thru.

Edit: meant drive-thru, not drive-in.”

#8. A made-up crime.

“Jaywalking. The rest of the world thinks this is a made-up crime you only see in movies with corrupt cops.”

#7. Yes it is.

“I’ve never been abroad. Is that American enough?”

#6. Portion size.

“Portion sizes.

My high school senior trip to London, as a typically ravenous appetite 18 year old, I couldn’t get over how small everything was standard.”

#5. I think you underestimate the size of our avocados.

“Small avocados.

Went to puerto rico. Was like, ‘yo ill have like 6 of those stuffed avocados’. Buddy was like, ‘yo gringo, i think you underestimate the size of our avocados here. Just have one and ill being you more if you want after’.

I had half of one. It was like a football.”

#4. Types of soda.

“Getting to choose from like 50 different types and subtypes of sodas.​

Hearing commercials advocating you to go to the doctor and demand a prescription for whatever fantasy pill is new to the market on the radio like it is no big deal.”

#3. How large grocery stores are.

“how large grocery stores are here. My wife is not american and we lived in China and were in HK all the time… they had large international stores that were great and she didnt really grasp the size of american grocery stores till our first week in the USA and there’s 150 feet of cereals on one aisle”

#2. Being loud.

“The stereotype about us being loud is true. I never thought of myself as being loud until I went abroad and would hang up the phone after speaking in what I thought was appropriate volume to find everyone around me was staring at me, and realized how much more quiet they were lol whoops”

#1. Smiling and being friendly.

“I moved to England from Texas about six years ago. One of the major things that I noticed was that smiling and being friendly towards strangers was considered bizarre. This is a bit true in any metropolitan area, but especially in the UK. In Texas I was used to smiling at people, asking for directions if I needed them, and being friendly towards strangers. I learned very quickly that smiling at someone on the tube, or asking someone for directions on the street immediately makes someone think you’re trying to scam/rob them or you’re crazy.”

Go ahead and travel anyway. People are generally forgiving.

The post People Share the Things They Didn’t Know Were “So American” Until They Traveled Outside the U.S. appeared first on UberFacts.

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20 Very Happy People Share Why Being Single Is Totally Worth It

This was the question on Reddit:

“Singles of Reddit, what do you like most about being single?”

And hey, being single does have its downsides, but these folks are having NONE of that. They love being single. And they have their reasons.

Let’s get it…

1. What if you slept in different beds…

“You don’t wake up because someone else is snoring.”

2. Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

“You know the feeling you get the first time you have your house to yourself?

It’s kinda like that — you get to do what you want, the way you want.”

3. Sleep is important ya’ll!

“Being able to sleep diagonally across my bed — so much space!”

4. Beat the heat

“I was single for almost all of my twenties. I miss setting the thermostat to whatever temperature I want.”

5. You couldn’t do this?!?

“Being able to go to the movies alone!”

6. Naturally…

“I can flirt with every cute person I meet — and there are MANY.”

7. So many reasons…

“Not having to share a bed.

Not having to share your food.

Your space. Your free time. Your time out with friends.

But best of all …

Not having to have unnecessarily long discussions on where to eat.”

8. Focusing on your own damn life…

“I enjoy not worrying about their success.

Life can be difficult, so supporting an S.O. while putting personal struggles on the back burner can be exhausting.”

9. Two very good reasons for long term happiness

“I save a fucking boatload of money and can do what I please.”

10. Yeah, texting is the worst.

“Not having to worry about texting someone back.”

11. Bonus!

“Everything in my car and apartment is exactly where it should be.”

12. Pfffftttttttt

“I can fart whenever. No guilt.”

13. Ladies… why the jealousy?

“The fact that I can just talk to my female friends and no one gets jealous or gets the wrong impression.”

14. People should be okay with needing space, anyway.

“That stuff can just happen.

If I want to change my entire weekend plans, bam — done. If I stumble upon a thing that happens and want to participate, boom — done.

If I don’t want to talk to anyone, ka-blam — done.”

15. Yeah, this kind of stuff isn’t fair at all.

“Not getting dragged into lame events with her family that essentially ruin my weekend.”

16. Literally you do not anymore. Yes.

“I don’t have to choose between hanging with my friends or my S.O.”

17. Laughter is the best medicine…

“I never have to laugh at unfunny memes found on Facebook, or explain why I’m laughing so hard at anything.”

18. Taking care of your own damn self for a change!

“I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.

I can spend money on myself with zero regard for what anyone else thinks.

I don’t have to factor anyone else into my plans or life decisions.”

19. Why do people move things?!?

“The fact that when you put something somewhere IT FUCKING STAYS THERE!!!”

20. Mobile AF!

“Being able to move to another city and state as I please for work or hobby-related purposes.”

Oddly enough… not a lot of mention of sex, though…

Just saying…

The post 20 Very Happy People Share Why Being Single Is Totally Worth It appeared first on UberFacts.