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13 People Who Were Lucky They Actually Read the Fine Print

Want to know a good life hack?. Don’t ever sign anything without FULLY reading it first.

Yeah, it’s boring. You know what isn’t boring? Having your money fly out the door because you were lazy.

These 13 people responded on reddit to the question, “Hey Reddit, what was your “thank God I looked at the contract” moment?” and their stories are eye-opening.

Take a look… closely…

1. Liquor Is Quicker

While preparing for our wedding, my fiance and I went super nitty-gritty, reading every word of every considered vendor’s contract.

One of the bands we considered came highly recommended, but had some pushy contractual demands. Have to hire their whole 8-piece band when we’d been looking for a 3- or 4-piece. Minimum of six hours’ performance charge. Then we found the “unlimited booze” clause. Literally, their contract called for them to be entitled to unlimited food AND LIQUOR throughout the period of the reception – not even limited to the period of their performance, so they could pregame.

When called on it, they doubled down and tried to put it back on us, saying they’d never before had anyone try to force them to perform for hours on end with no food or water.

We quite liked the DJ we ended up with.

2. Blind Faith

I previously worked for a managed services company for a total of 5 years, for my last 2 years there I utterly hated it.

We knew they were going to make us all redudant, but they kept telling us our jobs were safe and we had nothing to worry about. They kind of made the dumb move of giving us the jobs to deploy the infrastructure in India where the jobs moved to. Fast forward to the day it happened, we were all locked out of the building and told we could collect personal items with an escort. When it came to getting our exit packages which is required by law here there was a retroactive NDA to sign, most people signed it blindly because they were so pissed off, one of the clauses in it basically read

‘You may not disclose any information about the company’, not exact wording but the clause was so vague that it literally covered anything and everything that happened in the company during our time there which would have stung me hard considering i’m quite a vocal person when it comes to unethical practices.

I refused to sign it unless they re-worded it, still got my package, never heard from them. To this day I have nothing nice to say about their final few years of business practice, and if anyone asks me, I tell them very bluntly about my experience and if it comes to professional dealings with them I avoid it and recommend using other companies. Very glad I read that one.

3. Always Get A Copy

This happened about 10 years ago during the housing crisis. My parents were in some deep sh*t with the payments. Some day out of nowhere a person shows up at our door and talks to my parents about a lowering our payments through their program. My parents call me to help them translate (they can understand English but can’t read it). I was only 12 at the time and hated reading legalize papers but something struck me odd about the situation. I read through it a few times and understood it to be something like this.

You will sell us your house for free and you will pay us rent. I was twelve, I thought, “no way we would ever do this”.

Sure I was young reading legalese to translate it to Spanish, but I told my parents let’s take this paper to someone that can understand it because what I’m understanding doesn’t seem right. So we ask the person if we can keep the paper and sign it later. He says that they can’t do that. I ask why. He says they just can’t. I say we won’t sign it now until we know for sure what signing this means.

He says that’s the only one he has. I ask if we can make a copy and he still says no. So he takes the paper back and gives me a paper that is a copy of a copy of a copy and says we can have that and says he will come back (this paper was something completely different with the same logo of the company).

So we take that paper and take it to our bank where our house loan is from and ask what this was about. The banker takes one look at it and tells us that whatever it is this was, not to sign anything as it seemed like a scam.

Thinking back to it what it appeared to be was some scammers trying to get people to sign up for a loan under the name of a real bank or financing company. I guess keeping the paper would allow someone to trace the scam back to them. The next time someone showed up was a lady asking the same exact thing and showed us the same papers. We told her no and to stop coming back. They kept sending agents over but we never answered the door and eventually they stopped coming.

4. Eat My Shorts!

I have a few but the biggest one was when I was looking for housing in a city I was about to move to after landing a new job. I decided to go through craigslist since I had a specific budget in mind. One guy called me with a place that was a duplex, I would be in the upper floor with 4 other people. I asked about the room and he said it had total privacy and my own bathroom. I said sweet and asked for the lease.

What I got back was a generic contract with an appendix about 5 pages long of rules and what I would actually get. The room was the entire second half of the duplex and it was divided by curtains. The bathroom was a shared bathroom. The rules included no guests, loud music, video gaming, or watching movies at night. I called the guy back up and told him no. He threatened to sue for backing out. I laughed and told him to pound dirt.

5. Skimming From The Skimmers

We get a lot of “electricity suppliers” here and I’ll admit that I don’t fully understand the concept. Representatives for the suppliers go door-to-door and these ones seemed nice and affordable. I was paying more for electric since the supplier thing happened so it made sense to sign up. My husband agreed we should make the switch so I was on the phone with the electric company and beginning to give the information as I began to scan the sheet.

The suppliers yelled “nooooo” and “you don’t have to do that” out loud as I got to the part that says there is a cancellation fee of $200. I knew we’d likely be moving soon and have to cancel. I apologized the woman on the phone, hung up, handed back the paper unsigned, and learned a good lesson about reading contracts. Who knows what else it even said but they were clearly banking on me not reading it. Too many of us don’t and we should!

6. I Got Your Back!

Our advertising agency bought another and merged the companies. The new employee contract had sneakily included a non-compete clause. Which meant we wouldn’t be allowed to get another job in our field with anyone in a 100 mile radius for at least a year after separation – regardless of whether it was termination or by choice.

My original agency didn’t have non-compete clauses and was a huge reason why people stayed with the company for so long. The moment we all saw it, about 15 people (including myself) threatened to leave if it wasn’t changed. The CEO immediately said they’d omit it.

Granted, any new hires were required to sign non-competes after that day. But talk about a CEO and CFO who almost sh*t themselves.

7. Scumbags Do Scumbag Shit

I was recently in California for 10 days…

I love lifting, and didn’t want to go that long without working out, so I wanted to see if my gym had a location near where I was. I didn’t have a car and was staying with my cousin, who lived downtown. There was a different gym where he was a member a few blocks away, so I figured I’d get a trial pass. That was 20 bucks. A little pricey for one day. I asked how much for a month, and the guy told me 45. He told me he’d sign me up for a membership, but waive all the fees, and cancel the membership on the day I leave. I figured it was worth it if I go 3-4 times, considering how much I was already spending on food etc.

I signed up, and spent 3 hours there my first day. I got home, and looked at the contract. It said I paid 45 dollars, but it also said there was a balance of 120 or something in fees etc.

He didn’t actually waive them, just pushed them back.

Since I was in CA, I had 3 or 5 days to cancel (the language was unclear) and get a full refund…

On the third day, I went in, got a nice 2 hour workout in, and walked up to the guy and told him I wanted to cancel. I got 2 really good workouts in, and didn’t even have to get a guest pass. It totally wasn’t my intent to be kind of a scumbag, but f*ck that guy for trying to screw me over…had I not read the contract, I would have been out another 120 bucks.

8. Always Read The Contract. Especially If You’ve Requested Changes.

Dad is a contractor, he always reads the contract, which always boggles the people he works with. One day he was reading one for a new job and there was a clause that… If I remember correctly, it went that if something went south in some way, he was financially responsible? I don’t remember exactly what it was, just that if it went badly he’d be liable.

Dad basically told them to change it or he’d decline the job.

They were really confused by this ultimatum. “But everyone else signed it!”

Dad stood his ground, said he’d nope out.

They caved and changed it.

Advice for people who sign contracts regularly:

READ THE CONTRACT. You know that, right?

But what about: after you’ve requested a change? READ THE WHOLE THING AGAIN.

People can and will sneak clauses you asked to be removed into other parts of the contract. I had a teacher who told me about a time he was signing on for work and it took four attempts and a threat to walk before they finally removed the part he didn’t like.

9. Holiday House Blues

I was looking to book a holiday house for a week with some mates. When I asked about the bond they said that they will take my credit card details and that there was no upper limit on how much they could charge.

Not only that, if we were to cancel at anytime after we booked, the deposit (50%) would not be refunded unless someone else booked the house for the same period.

I backpedalled very fast.

10. Don’t Hate The Player…

I worked for a company that owed me money, so I sued them to get it. They settled, but wrote a nondisclosure clause into the agreement, which I was assured was pretty typical by my lawyer. However, they worded this clause to be retroactive, so anything I had said about them prior to the signing of the contract would also be a violation of the contract, meaning they would be able to sue me into the ground the second I signed.

I’m contractually prohibited from saying that this entire company is run by inept *ssholes, so I won’t say that, but I had said it beforehand, and I think they knew that. They played it off as an error, but I am 100% positive it was an attempt to trip me up. My lawyer didn’t catch it. I did and saved myself a bunch of money and a huge headache. I’m getting a different lawyer if I ever need any legal work in the future. Read everything you sign, kids. And don’t just read it, understand it.

11. Duplex Complexity

I was trying to rent a simple duplex in San Diego and everything looked pretty good. I was looking the contract over before signing and began to see a few red flags.

The apartment was strictly no smoking (no problem I don’t smoke and never have) but the language was very specific. I’m going from memory here but it said something like:

“IF at the landlords sole discretion, it has been determined that the apartment has been smoked in, the renting parties will be liable for all repairs (new carpet installation, repainting, deodorizing) AND will pay prorated daily rent until such time said repairs are able to be completed.”

There were multiple other similar red flags that basically would have put me on the line for unlimited liability. I requested that with some reasonable changes to the contract I would be more than happy to sign, but the response was very defensive and curt and implied I was just trying to screw the landlord over. I can understand trying to protect your asset, but I’m not going to sign up for unlimited liability at the sole discretion of somebody that seems reasonably unhinged.

12. Meat Pie

New owner took over our apartment building, and wanted everybody on new leases (not necessary, but cleaner) . The accompanying cover letter stated the new least was “substantially similar” to the prior lease, just subbing in the new names of the new entities.

On my line by line comparison, I discovered it converted all month-to-month tenancies to year-long leases. No, that’s a pretty substantial change, my friend.

My favorite part was that in addition to prohibiting illegal activities on the premises, this new lease wanted the tenants to covenant they would not commit “immoral acts” of the premises. record needle scratch

Uh, huh. No.

Tooodles. I’ve got debauchery to plan and morals to corrupt, and tiny children to bake into a meat pie.

13. Tricky… Tricky…

I was starting work at a major chain restaurant and was going through my on board papers signing what I needed to. One clause that we were supposed to sign under basically said that we wave our right to a break even on a double shift that could last 12 hours. I didn’t sign that.

After I was done reading through the paper work and signing what I agreed to I gave it to my hiring manager. He went through my packet then said, ” You missed this one. I need you to sign here.”

I replied, “No, I didn’t miss that. I’m not waiving my break.”

He didn’t push the issue. After that I would take my break when I needed one. Eventually one of my coworkers noticed that whenever I asked for a break I got one and asked me what was up. I let her know, and then she let everyone else know. People were pissed, but they learned to read before they sign.

Remember a time when reading the fine print said your ass?

Share your story in the comments!

The post 13 People Who Were Lucky They Actually Read the Fine Print appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Embarrassing Moments That They Nearly Stopped (But Decided Not To)

Would you stop a friend before they made a complete ass out of themselves, or would you let the chips fall where they may?

Personally, I couldn’t do that to a friend. Maybe a foe.

You’re about to see a lot of chips falling because these 12 people just couldn’t help but watch these embarrassing moments unfold.

12. Tight fit

I was sitting in a car in a Home Depot parking lot watching these two guys tie drywall to the top of their car. They were running the rope through the driver and passenger side window. With the door closed. So, I watched.

Of course they got done, went to open the doors… And couldn’t open them. They had to jump through the window.

One of the guys was a short little fat guy. He hopped into the window and got stuck. I could only see the ass end as he struggled to get in.

The thought of him wedged in the window kicking his feet to get in still cracks me up.

11. That’s a bold strategy Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.

My colleague who had a crush on one of our higher-ups said he wanted to text her about a basketball game we were watching that we knew she’d be interested in because she brought it up at a meeting.

When he asked what he should say I jokingly said “What are you wearing?” thinking he would understand it was a joke, like any other normal human being.

Instead he started texting it.

I just sat staring then asked “No..you didn’t?” He replied “Oh. Probably shouldn’t have said that.” We waited for her response which was “?” then he came up with “Which jersey? Duh.”

She was very nice about it. Didn’t socialize with him much after that, being married, our boss, older and all…

Probably could have been fired. Michael Scott social skills.

10. Putting them on blast

Not long ago I spent 9 months on an aircraft carrier for deployment. About 6 months in the days were all looking the same so anything for a laugh was welcome.

One afternoon I visited a bathroom near my workstation to find a friend (and the walls and ceiling) dripping wet. He said the toilet had “exploded” in his face when he flushed it. Now, it’s not uncommon for pipes to break and I had a small chuckle at his misfortune. It wouldn’t even have been memorable had it ended there.

A while later I returned (trying to stay hydrated) and someone was in the stall mopping the place up. Again, nothing memorable, i take care of my business and leave but think “wow they fixed that quickly.”

Back again, after a quick drain I’m washing my hands and see someone I don’t really know enter the stall in question. At this point it dawns on me the average repair time for issues like this is usually weeks, not hours. I expected to see tape labeling the stall “secured” but here was this guy, taking a leak in a mopped dry stall. The thought to warn him crosses my mind…… but I just have to know. I need this.

I take a step to my left as the trickle stops. The metal clink of the handle is immediately followed by the rush of a fire hose at full blast. Water sprays clear out onto the mirror I had been looking through, against the stall walls and pounds against the ceiling. When the blast ends, and the bottom of the stall looks like water fall. I hear soggy boots slowly turn around with a squishy “slosh” and out steps a dripping Marine in a drenched uniform.

We exchanged surprised glances as I suppress my laughter. To break the silence he says “well, that sucked,” and slowly sloshed out of the bathroom.

Could have stopped it, but it made my day/week/month/deployment.

9. Shibby Shibby

This one is reversed as it was my friend laughing maniacally while it happened to me.

My college roommate used to work at this chicken restaurant called chicken express. We would go eat at a location close to campus (this was not the location that he actually worked at) pretty often cause its delicious.

So one time he tells me, “hey man when you order the tenders make sure you say ‘shibby shibby’ after your order. That’s the code to tell them you work at Chicken E and they’ll hook you up with like 20 tenders.” Maybe it was wishful thinking or just plain stupidity, but i totally believed him.

We drove through the drive-thru and he was in the back seat. The conversation with the employee went like this:
“Um I’ll have 2 number ones with mashed potatoes… shibby shibby”
“Okay 2 number ones with mashed potatoes and a what was the last thing?”
“…shibby shibby?”
“Having trouble hearing you.. a what now?”
“…shibby..shib…by”
“Sir I have no idea what you’re trying to say, do you wanna pull around?”

At which point I look back and see my friend almost turning blue from trying to hold his laughter in. He totally lost it and I just drove off…

8. She’s not going to have a good time.

I was at a casino buffet once standing in the sushi section waiting for my turn.

This old white lady cuts the line and takes a huge dollup of wasabi and puts it on her plate full of Mexican food.

I can only assume she thought it was guacamole, which for some reason, they kept next to sushi.

In the moment, I felt she deserved what was coming to her.

7. Heavy petting

It happened in high school while watching a educational movie.

We were two classes tucked into a small classroom to watch it together. So people had to sit on the desks as there wasn’t enough chairs. I sat next to my friend’s girlfriend on a desk, with my friend on a chair in front of us.

She strokes her hand through his his hair, he takes his hand behind his back, and proceeds to stroke her leg.

Only thing was, it was my leg.

I poked his girlfriend to let her know what was going on, we both knew what had to be done without uttering the words. We let this go on for a good 5 minutes, constantly fighting the urge to laugh out loud.

Then I slowly pulled my trouser leg up. He stroked my very furry leg for about half a second before he realized something was very wrong.

I’ll never forget his face when he turned around to see what was going on.

6. Flirty McFlirtyson

My wife and I decided to hang out with some friends one night and we noticed a new guy joined the group. He seemed nice but a little off (turned out to be a total stalker who always carried a backpack, we nicknamed it the rape kit).

Anyways, we were playing some games and this guy manages to cut his hand wide open. Since no one really knows they guy I offer to take him to the hospital. My wife and I jump in the car and I let him sit in the front seat. He seems super happy about my wife riding along with us and starts chatting with her.

I keep peeking in the mirror realizing he’s total interested in my wife and my wife is trying to keep a straight face. She lets him flirt trying to be nice and not embarrass him as I drive in silence until we get to the hospital.

He hops out and is trying to make plans with my wife to go out to dinner or a movie and she’s dropping hints like flashing her ring and telling him she’s busy. Finally he’s like fine if you don’t want to go out, just say so. I laugh and tell him I don’t let my wife go out on dates without me.

He got beet red and told us he’d find his own way home. I think I enjoyed watching the boost of confidence it gave my wife the most. I can tell her she’s amazing all the time, but stuff like that is proof.

5. Instant karma’s gonna get you…

Last summer we went camping, and when I tried to use one of the campground coin operated showers I was disappointed when I put in a dollar and it didn’t work. As I waited for the one that DID work a guy came up behind me and said, “hey, it looks like that shower room is vacant, are you waiting for this one in particular?” I explained that I had tried it but that it was out of order, so there was now two of us waiting for one shower room.

Just minutes later a woman and three kids comes by, looks at us waiting in line and makes a dash for the vacant shower room. One of the kids looked at us and quietly asks if there’s a line and she responds “Shhhhhhh”, and the four of them go in and switch the door to “occupied”.

Maybe I’m the one who should be embarrassed by not telling her. Undressing yourself and three kids, inserting quarters that you’ll never get back only to have to re-dress everyone and sheepishly get in the line you should have been in to begin with is probably a bit of an overkill for the crime of seeing an opportunity and taking it.

Anyway, she was there in an even longer line when I got out and glared at me as I went back to my family’s camping spot. It definitely made me feel less bad about allowing her to go on a karmic adventure.

4. With friends like this…

So in college I became friends with this girl who was kind of a world traveler right when I transferred in. She was a part of the international group that welcomed all of the international students and shortly after invited me to a party for all the international students.

I’m meeting lots of new people and there is a really stunning girl from Italy that I was interested in talking to. My friend encouraged me to go open with “Bella figa” when talking with her. “Beautiful girl” was the meaning.

It had Bella in it so I thought what the hell. I make my way to her, introduce myself, and say those magical words. The beautiful Italian girl gave me the most repulsed look and walked away.

I turn around and my friend is laughing hysterically.

It translates to “you have a beautiful pussy.”

3. Chair Force One

While waiting for a briefing, a room full of Air Force airmen intentionally sat in every chair other than a damaged one they knew would dip very far back when someone sat in it.

I arrived and the room was full. The anticipation was palpable. I already knew about the chair – I thought everyone did – so I sat in the only other one available and realized the last person absent at that point was a generally disliked Senior NCO (a higher-up sergeant for those of who you don’t know).

As a junior NCO, I should have taken the initiative to inform said SNCO about the chair when he arrived…and for a second, I was going to tell him.

Then I didn’t. haha

All the airmen erupted in laughter when it happened and it took every ounce of fortitude for me not to, as well. I was definitely LOL on the inside, though. I’m not proud. haha

2. Clitoris!!

Teacher in class reading the review questions from of the end of the textbook chapter. One guy was sort of falling asleep on left side of the room.

The teacher loved calling on people he knew weren’t paying attention. So he calls on him to answer. I don’t remember what the question was.

The guy jumps up in his seat and mumbles to his friend sitting behind him asking what the answer is since he obviously didn’t even hear the question. Without hesitation his friend whispers, “Answer is B, clitoris.”

And as fast as he can he yells out “B. Clitoris.” And once he realizes what he just said sinks lower in his chair than I thought possible and turns fire-engine red, all while swearing at his friend behind him. I laughed so hard I cried.

The teacher just looked at him and pretended he didn’t hear his answer and asked him to give it again. Which he obviously by then figured out what the actual multiple choice options were and gave one of those.

We knew his friend was going to give him the wrong answer and man am I glad everyone let it happen.

1. “I was a 19 year old girl, and even I was grabbing my crotch when I heard it.”

I had a friend in college that dared people to kick him in the balls after he’d had too much to drink. We’ll call him Dave.

Part of his party trick was to keep a straight face the whole time. His success rate had given him a false sense of confidence, so he just kept egging people on. Keep in mind that the ball kickers were usually drunk freshman who could barely put any power into it.

Then one night, he decides to up the ante and ask one of the school athletes in attendance (we’ll call him Ricky.) I knew Ricky played soccer, and though I’m usually the buzzkill that asks everyone to be doubly sure they “really wanna do this,” I decided to let Dave go for it.

Ricky, who was also completely sober, accepted the challenge. He took a deep breath, pretended like he was readying himself for kick off and took aim at Dave’s package. What unfolded after that moment continues to pull at my heartstrings.

The moment that Ricky’s foot met Dave’s crotch elicited a look of horror from every man in the room. Ricky had taken Dave’s dare seriously, and his foot landed with so much force that it was reminiscent of the sound that a boxing glove makes on a bag except with a tiny squish. I was a 19 year old girl, and even I was grabbing my crotch when I heard it.

Dave quietly excused himself, while Ricky apologized profusely. After Dave hadn’t been seen for awhile, I went looking for him and found him lying in a ball on the bathroom floor. He had been there for about half an hour. He looked at me and said “I think I need help.”

Ricky, who was still feeling guilty, was also sober and I asked him to drive us to the hospital. They did the whole nine yards for Dave, including an ultrasound. I waited outside the room, but I could tell that the ultrasound tech was trying to make small talk, so while he was imaging Dave’s balls and shaft, I could hear him talking about a Peter Gabriel album.

The doctor said that Ricky’s foot hit Dave’s crotch with such force that it was as if he had sustained a stab wound to his genitals. He spent the rest of the year with a banana hammock underneath his jeans.

The only funny part was that, since he dressed like a generic hipster, he had to buy new pants so they would fit over it.

tldr; don’t dare people to kick you in the balls

We know you can choose a lot of sites to read, but we want you to know that we’re thankful you chose Did You Know.

You rock! Thanks for reading!

The post People Share Embarrassing Moments That They Nearly Stopped (But Decided Not To) appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Share the Most Polite Way to Tell Someone to F**k Off

Sometimes, when you’re at work, you just need to tell someone that they’ve screwed up or that they need to mind their own business. But also you might not work in a place where cursing and yelling is appropriate. What’s a person to do!

While most of us can pick up on nuance, below are 13+ pretty clever ways to tell someone to go p*ss up a rope.

Which is a must underused expression on its own, in my opinion.

#15. He just put up his hand.

I was in a meeting where we were planning out a huge client presentation and one of the guys who was there just went off on a complete diatribe of how he would go about adding some flair. He was known for being a loudmouth, and after about 15 minutes of his plans, the team lead just literally put up his hand and waited for him to stop talking. He sat there for 30 seconds in silence and then moved on. No addressing anything that was just said.

#14. We need to revisit the language.

“If that is your understanding of the current agreement, we need go revisit the language so that your expectation levels can be set more appropriately.”

#13. I am not emotionally invested.

Once heard a coworker bust out in a monotone voice, “Ma’am, I need you to know that I am not emotionally invested in this conversation. What do you need so we can both go on with our lives?” Really had to stifle my laughter in my cube next to her.

#12. Important to note.

I am not contractually obligated to fulfill that request. It is also important to note that doing so would also be a violation of international trade laws.

#11. As we discussed.

I work as a contractor to the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration). The best professional fuck you I’ve seen was via email. There’s this other contractor who is one of those types of know-it-alls that has to tell everyone how they should do things, often unsolicited, and likes to write really wordy, long emails to convince everyone of how smart he is. One day, he sent out an email suggesting some sweeping changes to our rollout schedule for some new ATC equipment, and “took the liberty” of sending his revised schedule to everyone – feds, contractors, upper management, upper upper management, sites, etc.

After several hours of us all privately marveling at the audacity and stupidity of this guy’s massive overstep, the fed that is in charge of our entire program reply-all’s.

The email started hilariously with “Thank you for your interest in aviation safety. As we discussed, contractors cannot set policy for the agency and do not have the authority to make decisions on behalf of the government.” Then it went on for several paragraphs, ending with tips on how he can apply for jobs within the federal agency if he wants to pull shit like this.

It was a massively embarrassing smackdown for this guy. We were all super happy to see him get his dick knocked in the dirt. It’s kind of hard to explain why the first sentence “Thank you for your interest in aviation safety” was so funny without being able to describe the guy that wrote it, but it was meant to be super condescending. I still have the email saved in my inbox.

#10.  Our policy is…

Overheard my boss once say “Our policy is…(long pause while he loads up his phrasing, then clearly changes his mind and just says)…no.”

Literally thirty years ago and still gives me a chuckle.

#9. That’s great.

I used to have a coworker who was a know it all who could actually back it up. We had a memory leak (for non programmers: a very big issue) and he found it and was making the fix. He sayd something in the lines of “the leak is in line 247” and our boss goes nuts, spends an hour ranting about how he wrote that code himself and there was no way the leak was there, and how dumb he was to think it was there.

Coworker let’s him talk for an hour, then with the best poker face says “that’s great but the leak is in line 247.” Then demonstrates it in a minute.

#8. Please be advised.

The fuck you lawyer letters that I have seen usually start with “Please be advised” and end with “govern yourself accordingly”.

#7. You can leave in the morning.

“We don’t need two weeks notice, you can leave this morning.”

#6. Especially annoying.

“I’ll be sure to give that the attention it deserves” if they’re especially annoying/stupid!

#5. But…

During an exit interview…
“Ya, I had a great 3 years here.”
“But, you worked here for 5 years…”

#4. Please don’t.

I do IT helpdesk, we have a person in IT who is one of those people who just likes to hear herself talk, and can go on for quite awhile. One day i pick up the phone, and someone is asking for her. here’s the interaction:

Me: IT this is Wyatt how can i help?

User: Hi, i was working with [person] earlier to try and fix my [some issue i cant remember]

Me: Oh yeah, give me one second i’ll see if she’s at her desk and i’ll transfer you over.

User: Please don’t.

just the tone in their voice as they said that made it clear that they really did not want to spend any more time on the phone with that person.

#3. Custom engraving.

My family works in the textile industry.

Once, my dad worked at a company that had a vendor that made buttons for various types of clothes. They had not paid this vendor yet, but my Dads boss was still pressuring him to pressure the vendor to get something done (I don’t recall the specifics).

Well, the button vendor had taken enough shit, so he made a a custom run of buttons and sent them back a shirt in which every button had “fuck you, pay me” custom engraved into it.

Professional etiquette? No, definitely not. Professional fuck you? Most definitely.

#2. Please feel free.

“I’m terribly sorry you feel that way. Please feel free to contact our complaints department.”

(To someone who wanted an appointment on a day when there were no appointments available, but insisted that she would come in on that day, at that time) “You’re more than welcome to come in on that day, but I’m afraid there will be nobody available to see you. You’ll have much better luck if we simply book an appointment for a different day.”

#1. Please refrain.

We have no plans to pursue the matter now or in the future. We ask that you refrain from further contact with us.

Take heed, whichever end of the conversation you’re on.

The post 15 People Share the Most Polite Way to Tell Someone to F**k Off appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Traumatic Experiences They Had with Teachers

People love to share stories on the Internet because they can be totally anonymous. And Reddit seems like THE place to do just that.

Recently somebody asked the question, “What is your most traumatic experience with a teacher?” and the answers were curl your toes.

Get ready to be triggered because these stories certainly hit close to home for me…

1. The Tale Of The Tape

“In third grade I had a teacher tie me up to my chair and tape my mouth shut. I was a super smart and hyper kid who had just been prescribed medicine for my asthma. Which will make you crawl out of your skin. My original teacher died in the beginning of the year and we had 4 temps before Ms. K. She was 25 no degree and should not have been teaching. She screamed at me ‘punk rock kid’ and tied me up.

I then wouldn’t shut up so she taped my mouth shut. 28 kids laughed at me, one kid drew scissors from his desk and motioned to cut the chord. I remember making eye contact with Sean and shook my head no. Told my parents got switched out of the class and the teacher was fired. The other kids’ parents in the class threw the teacher a going away party because ‘that kid and his brothers were always trouble.’

Other than my 3rd grade class I’ve told maybe 3 people about that.

As I’ve gotten older it explains so much of some things in my life.”

2. The Most Obvious Teacher Ever

“I had a science teacher that didn’t particularly like me in 6th grade. Also my ears are kind of pointed outwards, something I am completely okay with now but back then was super self-conscious about.

Once in class, she got super annoyed by me and legit decided to stop class and draw a caricature of me on the board.

It was a human head with monkey ears and an arrow pointing at it with my name.”

3. The Worst Hygiene

“In 4th grade, I had wild Hermione hair and obviously my hormones were changing and I was ‘becoming a woman.’ I had good hygiene and brushed my hair and changed my clothes, all normal things fully expected from a normal human being. That wasn’t enough assurance for my 4th grade teacher. She got me a brush and deodorant insisting that I smelled and that I didn’t brush my hair.

She would ask me in front of the class, ‘Did you take a bath today?

Did you brushed your hair?’

She began sending me to the nurse insisting I had bad hygiene and put my desk at the back of the room away from everyone else.”

4. Predatory

“Back in grade 9, I had music class as an elective. The class was at the back of the school where no one really goes to unless they have to. It was half-way through lunch and I had nothing else to do so I figured I’d just go to class early and just watch videos on my phone. I walk to the classroom, open the door and find my teacher (who was married, later divorced) having relations with one of my classmates.

They immediately saw me and I just stood there for a few seconds before leaving and closing the door behind me. I didn’t go tell another teacher because I simply didn’t know what to do, I was that surprised.

So fast forward class ends and before I can leave, my teacher grabs my arm and asks me to stay for a few minutes. I said yes since I figured he was just going to ask my not to tell anyone and by that point I still didn’t know what to do.

But oh how wrong I was. For the next five minutes, he talks about all the things he’d do if I told anyone , fail me, accuse me of improper actions, get me expelled. I was so scared, I just nodded my head, I didn’t know what else to do.

The classmate on the other hand started a rumor that I had cornered her in the music room and tried to force myself on her and how the teacher had saved her and comforted her.

So everyone in the school though I was a predator. I tried to defend myself but with all the threats and bias against me there was nothing I could do. Only towards the end of grade 10 did a teacher catch them having relations in the same music room. The teacher was fired and my classmate was transferred to another school. Luckily people connected the dots and realized that I was telling the truth and I was no longer a social pariah.”

5. Not The Teacher’s Pet

“My 4th grade teacher had a reputation for making one boy in her class an unpopular scapegoat each year. Lucky me. In previous years, I’d been just another kid in the playground, but within two months the other kids wouldn’t play with me during recess. One day I refused to go outside for recess. She asked why and I foolishly told her that the other kids didn’t like me. When they came back in, she marched me to the front of the class, and asked for a show of hands, who didn’t like me.

Fourth grade kids (mostly) did what fourth grade kids do.

I broke down that night and told my Mom what had happened and what had been going on all along. She marched into school the next day, got a meeting that included the principal, and tore the teacher a new one. I was still stuck in that class, but the teacher moved on to a new victim. Funny thing how self esteem influences academic performance.

My school used to give us a Stanford Binet IQ Test every year. My score dropped ten points from third to fourth grade, then rose twenty points in fifth grade when I had a nurturing teacher.”

6. Sniff

“What is it with 4th grade teachers? Mine was named Mrs. Ganz, and she had a TA named Ms. Hardwick. One time, I noticed that my math homework was graded incorrectly, with several correct answers being marked as incorrect. I showed it to my parents, they confirmed that I was right all along, and told me to show it to the teacher. Well, this made Mrs. Ganz very mad, and she took offense at me trying to correct the TA’s mistakes.

She held my work up in front of the class and said ‘This student got a B, but because he questioned Ms Hardwick’s grading, now he’s getting an F!’ Apparently, this happened to several other boys in the class as well.

This same woman had an Indian student named Sanif who was picked on by the whole school. Sanif was called Sniff by practically every kid in the school. One day, Mrs Ganz had us do a spelling bee.

She specifically gave Sanif the worst possible word to spell; she told him to spell ‘sniff.’

The look on that kid’s face was heart breaking.”

7. Oh, You’re Special Alright…

“When I was 14 years old, I was accepted into an arts magnet school. It was a pretty big deal in the city that I grew up in. Prestigious artists came in to teach young students that displayed promise, I guess. I was accepted into a creative writing department, one of only four freshmen to be accepted. It was the biggest deal of my life. Within a few weeks this semi-famous and important 55 year old man began assaulting me.

In front of his classroom. In front of everyone. He didn’t even bother trying to hide it. I was young and stupid and for awhile I thought that the attention meant I was special, and when I quickly realized how awful it was I felt like I couldn’t do anything because everyone saw it and no one was stopping it.

He made me believe, as a freshman, a 14 year old child, that men touching a young girl in front of her peers was totally normal.

So I stayed quiet for four months. My fingernails fell out. I began having intense panic attacks. I finally spoke out and he lost his job and the school attorneys advised my parents not to open up a legal investigation because they said it would further traumatize me. When I initially came forward, the director of the school refused to listen to me. It was a nightmare. When I graduated school, I moved out of the city and he found out where I lived and began stalking me.

He ended up kidnapping me and taking me back to his home studio and showed me a shrine he made of me. He continued stalking me until my friend’s dealer called him and threatened him. It all stopped. I tried to move forward but it took seventeen years of suffering to finally go to the press. It was a complete nightmare.”

8. When Teacher Doesn’t Help

“In the 8th grade, I had book reports to do for 4 books all due on the same day that was way too overwhelming to do at the time. I had some serious domestic violence going on at home between my parents. Spent all my time taking care of my younger brother, cleaning up the house, cooking, and crying from all the stress. It was worth 20% of my grade and the day before it was due, I broke down and told my teacher everything; down to the time when my brother bled from his head from being hit by my dad, to the most recent attempted murder upon my mom.

If I had even received a B, my dad would’ve beat up my mom for giving birth to a stupid kid.

He called child services, my parents received the call, and gave me the silent treatment for 3 days. They told him I lied just to get out of the assignment. The social worker told my teacher what my parents said and made the rest of my year a nightmare.

He treated me with such pettiness after that and threatened to call my parents whenever I had either spoken too loud in class, or whenever I was distracted in gym.

He called my parents for my ‘bad behavior’. Home life got significantly harder after that, and my parents told my entire family continuously how stupid I was for telling him. They laughed at me when I cried or got upset about it.

Years later after repressing everything I was diagnosed with severe PTSD from childhood trauma as a witness and victim of domestic violence and it took me 3 years in therapy to get over it – it was quick, but it was tough as it was during my university years and I ended up having to take an extra year of school to catch up mentally.

I was ready to speak up about my struggles again when I couldn’t function anymore as the traumatic flashbacks occurred twice a week for hours at a time. I couldn’t do a single thing except tremble and live in fear. I was 18 by the time I was ready to reach out for help.

Mr. G, I really do wonder if being a petty 33 year old to a 12 year old child made your quality of life better. I hope that there’s proper procedures put in place to protect children from such experiences.”

9. No Excuses. Even Semi-Trucks.

“The one and only detention I ever received occurred in somewhat related circumstances. I was in third grade and had a math teacher that had this stupid policy that every math test, after she had graded it, needed to be brought home and signed by our parents and returned to her within 2 days.

During that school year, my mom got in a terrible car accident in which she got hit head-on by a semi-truck.

She almost died and spent several months in the hospital. We had a math test a couple days after her accident. My step-dad spent the whole week in the hospital by my mom’s side, no doubt stressed out of his mind and not knowing if she would pull through. He didn’t want to bring my brother or me to the hospital, as he didn’t know if we could handle seeing my mom in that condition. My brother and I were left home alone all week, with neighbors occasionally checking in on us to drop off meals.

Anyway, I hadn’t seen either of my parents in days, and obviously couldn’t get either of them to sign my test.

When I tried to explain the situation to my teacher, she cut me off and said she ‘didn’t allow excuses’ or something, and gave me detention the following day. Since I didn’t have anybody at home who could pick me up, I had to walk the 2 miles or so home from school after the detention.

A week or so later, when my brother told my step-dad about everything that had happened, he showed up to pick me up from school (which he’d never done before, as we took the bus to/from school) and absolutely tore the teacher a new one, almost bringing her to tears.

The teacher never apologized to me, or looked me in the eyes again, for that matter, and I forged signatures on every other test that year. Also, I had gotten 100% on the test that led to my detention.”

10. Protect This Child!

“I was a super overweight child (diagnosed with PCOS at 14, had WLS at 19, am now an incredibly healthy 24 year old). I attended an elementary school with 60 children K-4, and my class had 11 including myself. I was the only one that was overweight. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

My elementary school teacher constantly called me out for not being able to run as fast as anyone else, encouraged the others in class to pick me last for teams, asked why I was sweating like a pig when I wasn’t working very hard, would make me attempt to do sit ups and push ups while the others watched and made fun of me.

It was incredibly traumatizing. The school didn’t require the kindergarten class to have gym, so this started in first grade when I was 6.

We had gym class once a week and I would get so nervous that I would throw up. Every single week. I was also a really anxious and sensitive child, so knowing that I would have to go and be embarrassed for 50 minutes was way more than I could bear. I think the school nurse figured it out after a little while, sometimes she took mercy on me and let me stay in the office, sometimes she made me go.

But, no one ever asked why. No one ever told my parents this was an issue they were having with me. No one did anything to protect me.”

11. Awkward…

“I was bullied in high school for 4 years because I came from another country and had troubles with the language and the culture, but I was also very quiet. When I found the courage to talk about it, my mom sent a letter to my math teacher, who was responsible for my class. That guy hated me because despite my best efforts, I wasn’t good at math. When he received the letter, he made me stand in front of the whole class and said, ‘Who here thinks she is bullied?’

Of course no one raised their hand because they all hated me, and that was just so awkward.

The teacher then said, ‘See? You’re not bullied.’ And he said I should do better to concentrate on my studies because I would never graduate.

Thankfully I changed high school the next year and never saw him again. Also I graduated with an A+ in math. So HA!”

12. Completely Humiliated

“So when I was in kindergarten, I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time and wet myself. Went to the nurses office got new clothes but instead of panties, I had to wear a pull up, not a big deal. I guess it was a school policy for kids my age, I don’t really know.

When I get back to my class, my teacher loudly says, ‘Oh good, the baby is finally back,’ or something like that. She also knew about the policy and asked if I was wearing a diaper so every other student could hear.

I was 5 and felt a ton of shame and humiliated.

I started crying and trying to get out of school a lot because of it. My teacher often referred to me as a baby for the rest of the year. Also she would constantly ask if I needed to potty or if I was wearing a diaper, like I was a toddler or something.”

13. “The Talk”

“The girls in our elementary school were given ‘the talk’ before the boys. The basic puberty stuff, your body is starting to change, you might starting developing, sweating, all that stuff. They made a huge stupid deal about keeping it quiet.

Saying, ‘It’s the girls’ little secret. Don’t go spreading it around school.’ I really did not see the big deal at the time.

Anyway, my best friend was a boy and naturally, I skipped right off to tell him why suddenly half the class had an assembly all by themselves.

Somehow, my teacher heard about it, got me alone, grabbed me by both arms AND SHOOK ME. ‘Keep. Your. Mouth. Shut.’ It was so awkward and weird because I did not see what the issue was.”

14. What Is This Woman’s Problem?!?

“Mrs. F legitimately hated me.

You’d think that would be a weird thing to say. A grown woman hating a nine-year-old. But she did. I don’t know why. It doesn’t really matter. By the third week, she outright told my mother that I was going to fail that year because I was bad at math. My mother laughed this off since it made no sense. I was a straight-A student in Germany. I faltered with math sometimes, but my teachers always helped me.

We had recently moved to Louisiana. Just for a year since my father was between duty stations. Back then (and probably still now), schools were allowed to paddle children. Yup. Paddle. Disrupted class? That’s a paddlin’. Got into a fight? That’s a paddlin’. Lucky for me, my mother told them on day one that they were not to lay a hand on me. Unfortunately, I was not aware of this.

Mrs. F took every opportunity to threaten me with a beating.

For some reason, the classes were arranged in a huge circular building, separated by partitions. Whenever she paddled someone, she dragged them out into the middle, so every class could see. When she couldn’t paddle me, she would make me stand there and hold the paddle outright with both arms. That thing got real heavy, real fast for a 9 year old. And that was the mildest thing she did to me.

Shortly after telling my mother that I would fail, she started to sabotage me.

If I had a question, she wouldn’t answer it. If I didn’t have a pencil, she wouldn’t give me one. She moved me into the back of the class. Eventually, she turned a desk against the back wall and put me in it. Then she hung streamers so that she wouldn’t even have to look at me.

I stopped getting work sheets. There was no one to pass them to me. I stopped turning around to watch lessons. Why bother?

I just came in every morning, sat in my chair and daydreamed. Sometimes I told my mother some of the things that happened, but she clearly thought I was exaggerating. I just accepted it as normal after a while, I guess.

Once, I raised my hand to go to the bathroom, but she either couldn’t see me or didn’t care. It got so bad that I just got up and ran to the bathroom. When I got back, she threatened to beat me, then made me stand out with the paddle for the rest of the day.

The next time, I just sat in my chair with my hand raised until I peed my pants. I don’t remember how she reacted. I doubt it was much kinder.

Toward the end of the year, there was a pizza party. I don’t remember what for. I was mostly out of the loop anyway. My little ‘cage’ had been removed for it because my mother volunteered to help out and actually picked up the number of pizzas they asked for.

Mrs. F told everyone they could have 2 pieces of pizza. I ate my first one, went back for the second and she closed the pizza box in my face. Told me I had already had my pizza. My mother told her I had only had one.

It was bizarre standing there seeing my mother argue with this woman about pizza that she had gotten herself. Livid that I was being singled out. After giving Mrs. F an earful, she walked out with me and took me home.

I was sure I was in so much trouble. Then she asked me to tell her everything. I did.

I don’t know what happened, but those last couple of weeks my desk was with the other kids again and Mrs. F never said another word to me. I still failed. I hadn’t done any of the work. And that experience shaped the rest of my schooling.”

15. Cruel And Unnusal Punishment

“In daycare/preschool, this kid hid toy dinosaurs in my nap bag, and when I got caught taking them out, the teacher made me move to be by her desk. My parents picked me up early for a doctors appointment and walked in to find the teacher, head back asleep, with me under her desk while she used my back as a footrest. At the appointment, it was found that I had two deep bruises from her heels digging in.

I was 4. I never went back to that school and the teacher was fired.”

16. Jail Time…

“When I was in 4th grade, I passed a note to a girl I liked. It was a super tame note, just said something like ‘I think you’re cute, will you be my girlfriend?’ Typical 4th grader stuff, really.

Teacher saw me trying to pass the note and intercepted it before it reached the girl. She read it (not aloud) and pulled me into the hallway.

She said what I was doing was wrong, and that it was harassment.

She said it’s the sort of thing men go to jail for. She kept saying ‘harassment’ over and over in that little talk. I barely even understood what harassment even was, but I knew it was bad. Made me feel like such a creep, like a predator. Made me cry from embarrassment and fear of going to jail.

After I was done crying, she let me go back into the classroom.

Gotta admit, that really messed up my view of women for a while.

Made me think of girls as scary and unapproachable. Took me a while to break out of that, too.”

17. Nose Bleed

“When I was in high school, I got a lot of nose bleeds. Like a lot. So I got one in the middle of class and I asked the teacher for a tissue, she said she didn’t have any so I asked to go to the toilet to get one then she said no. Soon I asked again when blood what dripping from my hands and she yelled at me for ‘repeating myself’ which is apparently bad. Soon a puddle of blood was on the table then I got sent to isolation for ‘disrupting the class.’

I was then suspended for ‘acting inappropriate during class.’ She was then fired for putting my life at risk. I gotta say when you get a nose bleed like that, you really see how much blood is inside of you.”

Have any stories you want to share? Do it in the comments!

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People Reveal the Worst City They’ve Ever Visited in Their Lives

What’s your worst travel experience of all time? A place you never want to go back to because it left such a bad impression on you?

I can’t say I’ve ever been anywhere that I truly despised because I’ve always found good and bad in every place I’ve visited.

But these AskReddit users sure have strong opinions about this subject.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

#1. A British entry

“Slough. Full of grey buildings, endless industrial estates, half-assed ‘modern’ architecture and mobile phone accessory shops. And it’s surprisingly expensive to live there. However, it produced my mom who is the nicest person ever.”

#2. Not normal

“Grew up in Johannesburg, South Africa. It’s entirely unmaintained, and has a very unique style of absolute apathetic violence against innocent people. I moved to New Zealand and years later realized that hearing screams that ended in the sound of a gunshot wasn’t a normal thing to go to sleep to during the night.”

#3. Middle East

“Baghdad.

Food wasn’t that great. Traffic. Roadside bombs. Air quality wasn’t great.

For a city I’ve been to not at a time of war, Cairo was one of the most disappointing and disgusting experiences I have ever had in my life. Everything is a tourist scam.”

#4. Rough city

“Camden, NJ – where I found my car sitting on blocks with its wheels removed.

Our friends sold their Camden home at a huge loss just to get away from what they called “a nightmarish place to live.”

#5. Sounds awful

“Baker, California

If you’ve ever driven between Vegas and Southern California, you know what I’m talking about. It’s constantly the hottest place in the summer. Literally 10 degrees hotter than 5 miles down the road. The gas prices are insane. They have an alien themed jerky and hot sauce store (which is pretty awesome). And they have the worlds tallest thermometer because that town is the butthole of the country.”

#6. Not a good place

“East Saint Louis, Illinois. It would have to improve to be a ghetto. Broke ass buildings, broke ass roads and broke ass people. Don’t even slow down on your way through.”

#7. The Philippines

“Angeles in the Philippines.

It’s the home of a former US Air Force base, but that base got destroyed by the Pinatubo volcano.

Angeles became the town where aging and fat former US military personnel goes on vacation to relive the heydays of their youth. One where you’d rent one or more women for the night for next to nothing. One where you walk into a bar and see those men feed shots to young girls, followed by empty laughter because they really don’t have a lot to say each other: they’re all just passing time until they go to their seedy bedrooms with the girl for the night and their one shot.

The city has nothing else going for it, no industry or anything. Their life blood was cut off when the base closed and they had to make do with sex work.

We were passing through while visiting the destruction of the volcano and stayed for 2 nights.

And here’s the thing: I forgot my pouch with money, credit cards, passport in that seedy hotel with mirrors on the ceiling when I left for the next city, 4 hours north.

And when I returned half a day later to pick it up, the lady at the reception said “we found it and put it in a safe.” Everything was still there.

(Note: this was 20 years ago. Things may be different today).”

#8. Ugh

“Dubai. A monument to excess and unhealthy consumerism built on slave labour. Once your awe of the magnificent buildings fade it feels like a soulless tourist trap with a sinister undertone. Everything just feels off. I think it’s an abomination of a city.”

#9. I’ve heard this from numerous people

“Niagara Falls (US side) was depressing as sh*t. We went with low expectations, because we were only going there for a punk show and figured we’d stay in the tourist district and see the sights, and still left feeling disappointed.

The falls were cool, but the few blocks surrounding it are full of sh*tty, crowded tourist traps, and if you leave that small area you are immediately surrounded by extreme poverty and sketchy neighborhoods.

A local told us that pretty much all of the money made in the area gets sent back to NYC because that’s where the companies who own the casinos and business are located, so nothing really ends up going back into the local economy. A lot of bullsh*t. Show was good, though.”

#10. Camden again

“Easily Camden, New Jersey. I only went there to see a show at the venue there, but driving to the venue looked like I was in a third world country. I also took a wrong turn when walking from the show to my car, and it got sketchy really quick. Camden is such a sh*t hole!”

#11. What a nice place!

“Paisley Scotland.

Watched a bunch of kids get their ass kicked for gang beat ins, then bought Chinese food from some guy who tied a tshirt around his hand to stop the blood.”

#12. Haiti

“Port au Prince, Haiti

The place makes the infrastructure of Gary, Indiana look state of the art.

I haven’t been back in 20 years, but it began with leaving the airport. You go through the exit doors to be completely mobbed by people. I can’t tell if they are trying to carry your luggage for money or just outright steal it.

The one time we flew in after dark….holy shit getting a rental car was an adventure. Evidently they keep the rental cars off the airport property at night. We got driven to this steel walled compound to get our rental car. The doors open and men with rifles come out to cover our entry. They had this makeshift bunker type of thing they jump into.

Driving? The roads have potholes you could bury a body and the car that the body was driving in. We used to rent a 4×4 SUV just to drive on the public roads. Power lines down everywhere, no road signs…..just hire someone to drive you.

Police and customs? Corrupt beyond belief.

Poverty? The worst I have ever seen. The tin huts in the shanty towns were about the size of my walk-in closet back in the states. I always recall my driver telling me about the locals eating dirt. There was good dirt to eat and bad dirt to eat. I have no idea WTF made dirt good or bad to eat (I guess they would mix it with some type of fat and make like a pancake or cookie out of it). The water in those shanty towns? It was a common well that looked like a mud puddle where a 3 year old just spent the last 20 minutes tap dancing in it.

The people were wonderful for the most part. There were some really bad parts of town, but for the most part people were good to us.”

#13. Not a fan

“Its a tie between Kayenta, AZ and Cuba, NM. If you get out of your car, you will be swarmed by feral or abandoned dogs and drunk locals asking for gas money. Very tough to avoid colliding with drunk drivers or adopting a dog when driving through.”

#14. Don’t go out alone

“Fayetteville, North Carolina. Never go there alone or at night. Most of the shops cater to the tastes of young men, because of the military base.”

#15. UK

“Blackpool.

Its talked up as a great seaside destination with a world famous pier. Its awful, dingy, grey and signficantky worse than Scarborough and Bournemouth.”

Idk about you, but I definitely just made a few mental notes…

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People Share the Weirdest Compliments They’ve Ever Received

Compliments are supposed to be nice and reassuring…but that’s not always the case. Sometimes they’re awkward, aggressive or downright chilling.

In this AskReddit thread, people shared the weirdest compliments they ever received.

1. Very awkward

“A young Asian woman walked up to me as I was talking to a friend on an outdoor mall, in halting English she said “Nice Adam’s apple.” “Thank you?” I responded. “Can I touch it?” she asked. I was a little taken aback, so it took me a moment to say “Um… I’d rather you not.”

But by that point it was too late. I cringed while she awkwardly caressed my larynx while those who witnessed it stared on in horrified fascination. That was, by far, the strangest compliment I’ve ever received.”1. A little strange…

“I was in town with my teething and grizzly youngest son in a stroller. He was tired and just generally DONE, so I knelt in front of the stroller and was soothing/stroking his cheeks and speaking to him in a soft low voice when a woman I’ve never seen before stopped and said “I wish I could trade places with him”.

So I guess that’s a compliment?”

2. A little strange…

“I was in town with my teething and grizzly youngest son in a stroller. He was tired and just generally DONE, so I knelt in front of the stroller and was soothing/stroking his cheeks and speaking to him in a soft low voice when a woman I’ve never seen before stopped and said “I wish I could trade places with him”.

So I guess that’s a compliment?”

3. Might be a serial killer

“Had a date with a guy that told me my cheeks were so soft that ‘he wanted to cut them off and put them in a jar on his bedside table so he could touch them anytime he wanted’.

He became my boyfriend for eight months.”

4. Thanks?

“A friend of mine once said to someone ‘I want to cut off your face skin and wear it on my face’…”

5. Red in the face

“Everyone always mentions that my face is red. I absolutely hate it.

I actually had a lady ask if I was sick, and when I told her it was just my face, she offered to pray for me. All of this happened while at work, so being polite I said “yeah sure”. I’m not really religious but I’m not gonna tell someone they can’t pray for me. She reached her hand over the counter and wouldn’t let me continue helping her until I held her hand while she prayed in front of me. And out loud. Talk about irritating and awkward. I’d much rather her have had your response.”

6. Handwriting

“On my first trip to the United States, my mom accompanied me as that was my first time studying abroad. It was back in 2008, and we have to fill the I-94 immigration card. My mom filled for both of us as she was always done for our family when we traveled.

When we touched down the airport, I was nervous at that time. I heard many stories of people being interrogated for hours after 9/11 attacks and sometimes was denied entry. I am wearing a hijab, and so is my mom. The whole time during the queuing I was trying to calm my nerves and praying hard everything goes well.

The line went on and on, and we were lining up for almost an hour. Finally, it’s our turn, and we decided to go to the counter together as a family. When the TSA officer took our passport, he took a hard look at our I-94 form. Then he asked if I filled it myself. I almost died at that moment thinking the first blunder I made when entering the US was to let my mom wrote for me. I told her my mom wrote it.

He looked at my mom and said, “Wow, that was really beautiful handwriting. It seems like you type on this form.” My mom smiled. That was not the first time she heard that compliment. My mom has the most beautiful handwriting that I ever saw compared to all the people that I have met.

Also, that officer has changed my perception of United States.”

7. Kissable

“When I was about eleven years old, I went to a flea market in Arizona with my grandparents. While perusing for knives and shiny things that eleven year old boys love, an elderly woman of about 70 decided she should tell me how nice my lips are.

The image of being cornered and told I have “such kissable, lickable lips” will forever be etched in my brain. On the plus side, my grandma didn’t allow me to purchase a set of samurai swords that day, so that could’ve halted some sort of mall ninja trajectory.”

8. Not a good word choice

“Not received, but gave.

At 15, I was trying to compliment my then-girlfriend on her athletic figure and hairdo in one smooth swoop.

In extremely flowery language, I proceeded to tell her that she resembled “a purebred racehorse, but with a shinier mane”.

Seemed pretty poetic in my hormone-amped head, not so much in reality. 0/5 wouldn’t recommend.”

9. A very good sentence

“Casual conversation before class started. I said something and the one guy that was only half paying attention suddenly whips his head up with “that was such a wonderfully constructed sentence.”

If we had been in a writing class it wouldn’t have struck me as odd, but this was an entrepreneurship class.”

10. Salt and pepper

“I’m very self-conscious to be going grey when I’m in my early 20’s. But then one day a (guy) friend I hadn’t seen in ages walked by and said “hey girl! You’re rocking that salt and pepper!” and it took me completely by surprise. It felt like the most honest compliment I have ever received.

I mean it’s way better than the stranger walking by and just saying “you have a hot bod, weird face” as he passed me. Still don’t know how that one’s sitting.”

11. Teeth

“While ringing a customer up, she said, “You have really pretty teeth,” with a very straight face. I started to thank her, even though her tone didn’t really imply it was a compliment, but she immediately followed it up with a scowl and, “I bet your parents paid a lot of money for those.”

Uh, I did have braces as a preteen, if that’s what you mean?”

12. Compliment from a celebrity

“I work for a touring event for kids.In NY, I met Drew Barrymore and was fixing one of our toys for her kid. Our company doesn’t love us getting excited when famous types come and usually I do my absolute best not to make things weird… but, I’d literally been watching Santa Clarita Diet in my office maybe ten minutes before coming down.

Figured whatever on if the company wouldn’t like me fangirling when I was working and told her thanks for coming to our show, she’s a fantastic actress, and that our performers would really appreciate it. She starts talking about how excited her kids were and saying all this nice stuff, stops, and says “you have like, the best teeth ever” and continues on with what she was saying.

I have a pretty decent sized diastema between my front teeth I’ve been low key insecure about my entire life (it can’t be closed completely via braces, so I either have a big one or a clearly manipulated smaller one forever) and having one of my favorite actresses just be awesome and compliment me because she could pretty much made my year. I had to go to my office on the seventh floor, sit down, and call my mother I got so excited.”

13. Hey hot stuff

“I’m a guy and I started growing my hair out when I was in high school.

While I was bent over, drinking from a water fountain, my hair covered my face and I heard a whistle from behind me. When I turned around to see who it was a guy audibly shouted and looked at me like I’d betrayed him and his friends couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard. I had a smile on my face the rest of the day.”

14. You look just like…

“I often shower at night because I’m not much of a morning person. Sometimes my hair is a little disheveled in the morning because of this, and combing/brushing does very little to fix it. I also have very thick black hair that I typically like to wear long. My nose used to be a lot bigger on my face than it is now (I grew into it).

I was staying with a friend for a weekend during ACL, and the following Monday, I went to breakfast with some of his friends, only a few of whom I’d met previously. I was wearing a thick green jacket and hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, though I had showered. One of the girls told me, “You’ve got a very ‘Adrien Brody’ thing going on today.” Not necessarily a compliment, but I happen to be a fan, and the comment has stuck with me even though it’s been close to a decade at this point.”

15. Ocean Roses

“I’ve gotten the weirdest complements lately regarding the way I smell lately. Mostly people telling me I smell like fresh laundry, but not my clothes, me. Like my skin. It sometimes looks like a clip from those Gain commercials lol.

And then I had a girl tell me I smelled like “Ocean Roses”, which threw me for a loop because I’ve never heard of that haha.”

Do any of the compliments you’ve received top these?

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15 People Who Have Been in Comas Describe Their Experiences

How terrifying it must be to wake up from a coma. And what an experience to go through.

In this AskReddit articles, people who have survived comas open up and describe their incredible experiences.

1. Nothing

“I was in a coma for about two weeks following a cardiac arrest as a teen. I was technically dead for over an hour, in fact. People often ask me if I could hear my family talking to me or if I was dreaming. The answer is “No.”

There is a huge hole in my memory beginning about two weeks before the coma through a week after “waking up.” And waking up is in quotes because I would wake up, ask a bunch of semi-incoherent questions, fall back under, then wake up again and ask the exact same questions, in the exact same order. Repeat six or seven times.

The coma was not even blackness. It just does not exist. I remember having the hardest time believing it was actually mid-October when the last day I remembered was late-September.”

2. Zero recollection

“I was in a coma for 3 days following a serious cycling accident, medically induced. I woke up with zero recollection of why I was there or what was said while I was out. It is easily the scariest situation I’ve found myself in, but I can’t say I remember it. I woke up to my mom and dad in the hospital with me and my body in traction of some sort and that was way scarier to me.”

3. Blackness

“I had a seizure and was in a medically induced coma for 3 days when I was 17. To be honest I don’t remember anything. I remember fading in and out of the anesthesia trying to pull my breathing tube out and and that my hands were restrained to the bed so I couldn’t.

When I woke up and was coherent I couldn’t recall anything from actually being in the coma. They had even moved me to a hospital over 100 miles away. It was really just nothing but black. No dreams, no lights, no voices, just nothing.”

4. Different personality

“Dunno. I was in a coma for 11 days, severe brain injury. I don’t remember being in a coma or waking up from a coma. I lost several years of memories prior to the coma, and my brain didn’t really start to “retain” information again until ~6 weeks after I came out of the coma.

I’m told that my personality changed afterwards. I had to rebuild most areas of my life. It sucked, but it was probably a good thing.

Although I’d be lying if I said I never wondered what my life would be like if I’d never had the coma.”

5. Whoa!

“When I was a kid, my best friend got hit by a car at age 12. She was in a coma for I think a little over a year. She said she felt like she was asleep but was most freaked out when she woke up and saw that she had gone through puberty while in the coma.”

6. Car crash

“My girlfriend of 6 years and sort of fiance was in a severe car crash when she was 16. Both of her best friends died instantly. She was the only survivor but they didn’t think she would make it. She was in a coma for 9 months. She was in what is called a waking coma. She retained normal periods of sleep and open eyed wakefulness, but no higher brain functions.

Here are some things about her experience.

She doesn’t have any memories of the year prior or the year and a halfish after her coma and obviously no memories of the car crash.

She suffered a TBI and when she first got out of the coma she would get naked and sexual with people and anger very easily. These are common problems of people who suffer a TBI.

She went back to school after the coma, but her brain was still healing a lot. She was held back another year because her brain was still not retaining anything.

Today she is a wonderful, bright 30 year old with a college degree. She has a slight speech impediment, gets frustrated easier than most, and it took her a while to get driving down. Honestly, she still scares the hell out of me when she drives, but there are worse drivers out there.”

7. Positivity is important

“After being in a really bad accident that left one of my good friends (the driver) brain dead, they put me into a chemically induced coma for under a week to prevent brain damage due to swelling.

When I first woke up, my memory was much better than it was as it gradually faded in the days to come. I have a journal my mother recorded things in, and I recalled many things I shouldn’t have been able to immediately after waking up. Today, I have very little memory of it all, but I can definitely say that having positive people around you definitely helps when you’re in a situation like that.

If you have a friend in this situation, don’t disregard them. Even though your life has moved on, they may wake up one day, and in their mind, not a day has passed since the last conversation they had with you.”

8. A little humor attempt

“I was in a medically induced coma following a self-inflicted gunshot wound. I don’t remember much but my family described moments of me appearing to be awake. Most notable, an apparent attempt at humor.

Apparently they put these mits on my hands to prevent me from ripping my ventilation tubes out over and over but I pretended they were my lobster claws. I have no recollection but it’s a real me move.”

9. Bad dream

“I was put in an induced coma when I was 9 years old after a pretty bad car accident which left me with a fractured skull. All I remember is a bad dream about having a bad headache, and hearing my older sister telling everyone, including my parents, to get the f*ck out of her way because she wanted to see me. I found out later that this was on the night it happened, and they were trying to calm her down before she saw me.”

10. Kaleidoscope

“I was in a coma for three days after an emergency C-Section (thanks eclampsia). They actually lost me for a couple of minutes after they delivered my twin boys. I remember hearing the sound of my dad crying close by. I could hear people talking around me, but any time I would try to focus on what I thought I was seeing it was like looking in a kaleidoscope.”

11. Words from Dad

“About 3 years ago I overdosed on sleeping pills and it caused me to go into a coma. I remember a lot of what my family said but one thing stood out, my dad’s voice. I remember him saying “I love you and I know you miss your mom and brother but I still need you”.

I was in that damn coma for a month and I woke up five minutes after he said that. I couldn’t speak because I had tubes down my throat and I was non verbal for a while after because the pills messed up my brain, I don’t know how I remembered but I remembered the slang sign for I love you.

I still struggle with suicide but any time I think about it I remember what my dad said and I try to do the opposite of what I was going to do.”

12. Nightmares

“I was in a medically induced coma for two weeks, about 3 months ago. I had open heart surgery, it didn’t go well, had trouble coming off the ventilator so they just put me in a come to try to give me time to heal.

I had nightmares the entire time from the medicine they were using to knock me out. I thought I had been kidnapped by a nurse and was a victim of sex trafficking. I thought my drug addict aunt had her friends rob my sister and her husband, killing my brother-in-law and one of their children, and I thought I was constantly being grabbed by people under my bed. It was not fun.

I can’t say that I knew I was in a coma or anything. I am usually one of those people that when I have a bad dream, I can tell myself it is just a dream and wake myself up in order to end it. This was not like that. I was convinced it was all really happening.”

13. In and out

“A few years ago my dad was in a medically induced coma for about 2 weeks. Everyone thought he was completely unconscious the whole time until he woke up and started mentioning conversations people had around him while he was under, this even surprised the doctors.

He said that from his perspective it was like he was asleep most the time but he would occasionally “wake up” and could hear what was going on around him without being able to move or do anything before he would eventually drift back to sleep.”

14. Confused

“My husband was in a coma for a couple weeks. He got pneumonia his freshman year of college, the coma was medically induced because he had a really bad immune system or something.

He told me all he remembered was waking up really confused and with a really full beard. Amd when he did wake up, he was still in a lot of pain so they gave him a ton of medicine and it made him kinda high and he wasn’t all there when his friends visited.”

15. Interesting

“My brother-in-law was in a coma for a month after a car accident in which he lost his eye and almost died.

He’s said that he had a vision of “God” holding him underwater three times, almost drowning him the third time, then him giving up and finally being let up into his home town.

He’s had one almost fatal accident after that, and while I’m not superstitious, I do believe sometimes reality can echo the future in ways which our minds can perceive sometimes, even if we can’t fully interpret those echoes. Well, I simply believe he’s eventually going to have a third accident. I fear for him.”

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People Who Attended High School Reunions Reveal What Happened to ‘the Cool Kids’

Teenagers are pretty terrible to each other, aren’t they?

Lots of drama, folks.

In this AskReddit article, people reveal what happened to “the cool kids” in their high school when they saw them years later.

1. The ‘It’ Girl

“I saw the ‘It’ girl and she still looked pretty good, although she’s a bit heavier than when I remember seeing her last at the 5-year reunion.

However, I was filled in by another classmate, later that night at the local watering hole, that she had been up to some things in her personal life.

She got pregnant then engaged to a much older man, right out of high school. That led to her dropping out of her first year of college. They broke up before any wedding and as far as I know, the guy is super gone. Then, she found a new man a couple years later and got engaged again. Except for this time, she almost literally left the guy at the altar.

She never showed up on the day of her own wedding.

Four years later, she found another man, engaged for the THIRD time. She called the whole thing off just three days before their planned wedding.

And so AGAIN last year, she met another man, got pregnant again with baby #2, and then did a super quick courthouse wedding.

She had no professional skills at all aside from finding men to dote on her (which I guess is arguably a profession if it gets you taken care of) and no aspirations to do anything except raise her 2 boys under the loving wallet/protective blanket of her new husband.

I guess it could have been 3 divorces if there is an upside.”

2. Dodged a bullet

“One of the football bros at my high school, who was intensely popular, came over to help install a water heater last year and tear out some rotted flooring. I remember him as being kind of a jerk in school (not to me personally, but that was his general reputation) but he seemed to have mellowed out a lot. Now he’s married with kids. He was really polite to me and my family.

Also, the two ‘cool’ guys who cheated on me have totally let themselves go. They’ve gotten fat now, like Robert Baratheon fat, even though they were both in decent shape when I dated them. It got pretty bad for the one guy who really prided himself on his good looks and his rockin’ bod.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t gloat about it a little bit to myself, from time to time.

Anytime I need an ego boost I just look them up on Facebook and remind myself I dodged a bullet.”

3. 20-Year Reunion

“I just went to my 20-year reunion, though I wasn’t just another attendee, rather I was hired to DJ for the whole event.

First, to clarify my position in the high school pecking order, I was what would be considered a weirdo in high school. I didn’t prescribe to any particular tribe. I had friends from many different social circles, yet I was never a ‘cool kid,’ nor even a well-liked kid by most of my classmates. I never tried to fit in, I was just myself. At least I wasn’t a victim or rejected in school.

The only bullies I had when I was younger went to a different school, after junior high, and I never heard from them again. I was also a pretty big class clown. I used humor to keep the more aggressive kids at bay (which worked). When I was in school, art was my biggest passion. It was only about 5 years after I graduated that music took over my life.

So going to my reunion was a trip, to put it mildly.

First thing I noticed, I forgot all about half the people I was acquaintances with (I only consider friends people that hung out with me outside of school).

But here they were, the names I had let slip into the farther reaches of my memory banks, standing right in front of me, and a flood of memories came back. I realized I was a little more liked than I thought I was in school. Even some of the kids that used to tease (not bully) me, were being very friendly and genuinely happy to see me.

Admittedly I only spent a limited time conversing with everyone, as my job was to provide music. I started the night with a pre-made set-list of Indie/Alternative/Rock from 1989 – 1997 or so while I ate dinner and caught up with everyone.

Then, as the night wore on and folks started drinking more, I switched it up and played a lot of Hip-Hop, House, Pop, etc from the era. The coolest thing though was that a lot of my classmates would bring their own phones up for me to play their favorite music (a lot of it, from local Southern Californian artists they were huge fans of). But perhaps the coolest moment for me was when this crew of guys came up and asked me very politely if I could play a soul track by The Impressions, from the ’70s.

It was their friend’s favorite song, who lost his life by a rival gang. I gladly played it (twice even), and for a moment I saw these usually incredibly hard, tough guys break down in tears on the dance floor. This was the moment when I realized how stupid high school was, that we were all so separated by our various cliques and cultural differences. But deep down, we were all just young human beings, with emotions, goals, desires, and vulnerabilities.

I’m glad I went to my reunion.

At first, I was a little nervous to go, but ultimately it was a great experience.

The cool kids in school ended up just like everyone else – with jobs, kids, married, some divorced. Some of us went on to do really cool things and some of us went on to DJ at our reunion.”

4. The cool guy

“Recently, I received a friend request on Facebook from a fellow who was, without question, the coolest and most popular kid at my high school forty years ago. He was tall, handsome, the quarterback for our football team, a heart-throb to legions of tongue-tied girls and an unattainable friend of every cool-kid-wannabe.This fellow embodied EVERY Hollywood stereotype of a ‘cool kid’ in high school.

His friend request surprised me because we never hung together and exchanged no more than three words during all of high school.

We existed in COMPLETELY different realities. While he strode confidently through the halls, surrounded by throngs of admiring young fans, my world was much more tenuous: a rickety and precarious thing, cobbled together from the conditional acceptance of a lamentable and easy-to-ignore segment of students. We were the unpopular ‘never-gonna-be’ group.

Curious, I clicked on his Facebook profile. The first thing I noticed was that he had acquired more than 1,500 friends – Everyone from our high school was there!

This fellow’s ‘friend request’ suddenly seemed like an attempt to ADD ME to an ever-expanding collection of living witnesses to his ‘glory days’ of yesteryear.

So, whatever happened to that cool kid from high school?

He’s just an average guy now, living out his average, middle-class life. He’s not special or remarkable anymore, at least not in the grand scheme of things. In fact, many of my ‘never-gonna-be’ friends have accomplished MUCH MORE than that cool kid ever did (another Hollywood stereotype that is, nevertheless, true).

With a bit of sadness and nostalgia, I declined his request. I’m more than happy with my twelve Facebook friends.”

5. A charmed life

“I graduated fifty years ago. I only keep track of one person.

She seemed to be perfect in every way – even her hair was perfect every single day. She was smart, beautiful, a beautiful voice, always had the lead in the plays, the solos with the choir, was a cheerleader, lived in a beautiful house, went to an exclusive college.

She always seemed nice too.

Because her college was near my state university, I continued to see her name occasionally – starring in the school play, soloing with their choir. Around this time I started to get annoyed that she was still in my face.

A few years later, I saw her on television doing an infomercial – using her own name like she was a household name and wondered if she would ever go away.

She married a billionaire (of course – what else would I expect?). Fifty years later they are still married and have two (I assume perfect) children. She is still creative and now philanthropic. She became interested in composing music and has written music pieces that have been performed not only in her home city but around the world – most recently in St.

Petersburg, Russia. Some have been performed by a major ballet company. She donates the money from all of these ventures to charity. She has written children’s books, is director of a major symphony orchestra, breeds and shows championship dogs, co-chairs a major pet organization which raised two million dollars recently, is on the board of a major cancer hospital.

She continues to lead what appears online to be a charmed life.”

6. A cautionary tale

“I’m nearly 30, or at least close enough now. Many of the ‘cool kids’ from my high school stayed within the same group and kept the same friends.

As far as careers go, there doesn’t seem to be a set standard though.

Some manage coffee shops, some work at ski resorts, others work in finance, others were able to get various middle-management office jobs through connections, etc. Most of the kids who became lawyers or doctors weren’t considered ‘popular’ by the traditional definition.

I’ve got an alright job, but I’m still very much in the process of getting my life together.

On the bright side, I’ve really focused on my health the past year and most people are very surprised when I tell them I’m nearly 30.

One of the girls was able to amass a large social media following and become an underground electronic musician.

I strongly suspect she has an addiction problem though, based off of some of the stuff she posts on social media. She posts things centered around wealth, celebrity worship, and raves – it’s the epitome of the ‘fast-life.’

In a lot of the pictures, she’s barely wearing any clothes and her skin looks thin, bruised and stretched out over her bones and ribs. Her face looks gaunt and her eyes look lifeless and sunken in.

One of her posts was a photo of her waking up in the hospital connected to various machines and IVs.

I never knew her super well, but she used to have a light and innocent curiosity that’s totally gone. It kind of makes me sad to think about because she legitimately seemed like a nice person at one point, but now she’s kind of turned into a walking cautionary tale about the dangers and sickness of excess.

It’s even worse, considering there are thousands of people online that seem to feed-into and encourage this behavior.”

7. Flamed out way too young

“I was a freshman in 1982 at a high school in the rural south. I was new to the district and knew almost no one out of a class of 560 or so students. In other words, I might have been less conspicuous if I’d tattooed ‘beat me up’ on my forehead.

Needless to say, I was NOT one of the popular kids.

For reasons unknown, a large group of cheerleaders inhabited my biology class. Their leader was a sophomore, and when I tell you she was physically perfect, you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, deep tan and a body that was heart-stopping. These girls were the coolest of the cool kids. They did their best to humiliate or embarrass me at every turn.

Fast-forward ten years, and my wife and I were walking through the local mall.

I hear a voice calling my name, and see a blond person sitting behind the counter of an empty jewelry store. Lo and behold, it was the chief tormentor. Although only 26, she looked closer to 40. Sunblock wasn’t a thing in the ’80s, and all those years of perfect tans had caused a lot of damage.

Gravity had also done its thing, so the perfect physique had been rearranged in unflattering ways. She’d never bothered to study much, preferring to coast on looks and cleavage to get passing grades. She’d dropped out of college to marry a man 18 years older, and thought she was going to live the dream.

But her looks declined, the older man went looking for a new trophy, and without skills or a well-developed work ethic, she wasn’t positioned for future success.

My wife and I left with a profound sense of sadness.

As I said, I’d never hated her despite the lousy treatment I’d received. Now I saw a person who’d had it all, but flamed-out way too young and was looking down the barrel of 50 years of regrets.”

8. Mediocre

“A lot of the cool kids wanted to be rappers (I’m from Oregon) and you can’t really be a rapper from a suburb it seems. No one from my year made it into professional sports. Most of the cool kids went to a mediocre (according to rankings) college and got a basic job.

Nike is the only cool company in Oregon, so some of them got jobs there.

Half of the beautiful people stayed decent looking, while the other half gained a lot of weight. At our 10 year reunion, a lot of the cool kids didn’t go, probably because they were embarrassed.

As a millennial, we all had to taper our expectations about life eventually. Our parents told us we could be whatever we wanted to. But that’s not true. Not everyone can. You can try, but then you have to make a decision and that means giving up something.

One person from my year went into entertainment and that’s me actually.

Ha! A few others work on set or do the business side of entertainment. There are a few lawyers and a few doctors. The doctors and lawyers were all the smart, ‘uncool kids’ though. I was in between. The other entertainment people were theater and film kids and kinda in between.

We only had a few people go to Ivy Leagues and they were not the cool kids. A few people went into Silicon Valley tech and they weren’t the cool kids either.

Out of a class of 400 people, with like 40 cool kids, no one is envious of their lives.

I’m not sure if people find the lawyers, doctors and entertainment people to have enviable lives, but if they do, know they weren’t the cool kids in high school. But 100% is that the people that were cool and jerks or cool, pretty and mean, none of them from my year have lives that I’m jealous of.”

9. No difference, really

“I have always been the kind of person that floats between camps, never really belonging to any group but still being able to socialize and build relationships with all of them.

I can tell you that the ‘cool kids’ are not really different from the rest, they just get put in the spotlight more.

And you know what, at that age, it does two things: First, they tend to become more arrogant because why wouldn’t a teenager being treated better than other people not believe it? And second, a bubble starts to form around them which often leaves them ignorant of certain things, particularly social issues.

Of course, most teenagers live in a bubble of some sort, but the ones that live in a pleasant bubble are less likely to find their way out of it.

That being said, when I look back at the people I went to high school with and see where they are now, I can’t really see any noticeable pattern.

One ‘cool’ kid went to jail. Then there was another ‘cool kid’ that I thought for sure would end up in jail now. He actually works for NASA as an aerospace engineer.

Similarly, the kids that I would say were my circle, the ones in all of the AP classes who didn’t really get into trouble and maybe weren’t considered the ‘cool kids’ have an equally varied mixture of outcomes.

One guy became a filmmaker, another a struggling musician, a successful salesman, one guy is still living with his parents trying to figure out what to do with his life (we’re in our 30’s now), and I ended up in the wonderful world of technology.”

10. Karma

“When I was in high school, I sat behind Jessica in math class. Jessica was perfect, from the top of her raven hair to her perfectly pedicured toes. She allowed me to do her homework. Because I was doing her homework, she would talk to me. She would say things like ‘here’ and ‘thanks’ and ‘don’t use a pen.’

There was a dance coming up. I got up my courage. She was standing outside of the cafeteria with some friends. I walked up to her and asked her if she would go to the dance with me.

She looked at me with a puzzled look and started to laugh. She shared with her friends and they started to laugh. I went home.

A few days later the principal called me. ‘We’ll put you in another math class, but you have to come back to school.’

I went back.

Fast forward 20 years. I had just adopted a three-year-old girl and was taking her for her first haircut. The ladies at Supercuts made a big fuss over her. As they were fussing over her, I noticed the operator’s license on the mirror.

I looked closely, and sure enough, it was Jessica. She maybe weighed 200 lbs and had a pretty good mustache going, but it was Jessica.

I tipped her a quarter.”

11. Typical stuff

“11 years down the road. What are the cool kids of my school up to now?

Let see, one girl who bullied me in school is now a mother of 2 boys. She was the meanest girl in school before (I was isolated from everyone because she told everyone I was a ‘dirty’ girl).

She works part-time from home, trying to make ends meets for both her and her husband – she got married because she was knocked up. Her posse? Not doing much as well. Some went on to marry rich guys so they can maintain their maintenance standards, some went to become government servants.

Most just got married and became stay at home moms.

I was the last person expected to be a flight attendant. While I was in school, I was that late-bloomer girl that everyone loves to shake their head at.

When everyone started putting on makeup, I still wrestled with my younger brother in the mud. I wasn’t the nerd, more of an outcast. I live outside of everyone’s bubble and didn’t seem to be affected by social standards.

I went through the motion of high school years in a blur. As I said, being a flight attendant is a career reserved for the pretty girls in school and I was definitely no beauty back then. A popular girl dreamt of being one in school, talk about how nice it would be to become a cabin crew and all the traveling she would do.

I’m doing it on behalf of her now. She always left comments on my Facebook/Instagram pictures, wondering if I’m able to get her free tickets once in a while. This is not a girl who was mean to me in school, more like she ignored my existence.

When the 10 years school reunion was held, it was a bit flattering (and sad at the same time) that most girls didn’t recognize me.

They definitely treated me better because of my appearance now, but close friends had been having a good laugh at my expense on everyone’s confusion to place me somewhere in there high school memories.

To be honest, I kinda enjoyed the ‘pin-drop silence’ moment when they realized who I was, but one of the mean girls treated me like I was still below her, but I don’t mind. Looking at the way she is living her life, I have more things to be grateful for than stoop down to her level.

I unfriended her on Facebook when I realized she was bad mouthing me. One headache was gone.

To be fair, I don’t judge someone’s popularity to be the measure of their achievement out there in the big world.

One popular girl (the drum majorette of my school) went and became the best finance expert our national Bank has, and another went on and became a popular pianist. But the mean (and popular) girls back then seem to realize that their popularity translated into nothing much once they’re out there in the real world.

As for me?

I’m happy where I am right now. Everyone talks about quitting their job and traveling for free, and I get to do it while being paid at the same time. Life has been a great surprise (and a jolly ride) after high school for me.”

12. Small town

“I graduated almost 30 years ago.

Most of the cheerleaders are now mothers with multiple kids (most of whom are either going to or already done with college). The jocks and cool guys largely stayed around town and built up business relationships there.

Some seem successful, some less so. A lot of the guys/girls ended up marrying each other (even the ones who weren’t actively dating each other in high school).

During high school football season, my Facebook page is overwhelmed with posts from people who still go to the games every week, and every 5 years, the reunion dominates the conversation for about 6 months.

I think if you grow up in a relatively small town in a relatively small state, this is probably pretty common. I can count on one hand the number of classmates who left the area and settled elsewhere without coming back.”

13. The class clown

“Our ‘class clown’ is probably, by far, the most well-known and successful person from my high school class – soon after finishing high school he started seriously working out and became a very popular model (I am very happy that he found his place).

Everyone else seems pretty much as I would have expected.

Those ‘cool kids’ who were very good at sports still seem happy and successful at their sport and also doing reasonably well education-wise.

Most of the other ‘cool kids’, who didn’t seem particularly good at or interested in anything except socializing, seem to just have spent a few years flunking out/drifting from one university program to another, eventually graduating with a bachelor’s after 5-6 years instead of 3-4, usually with poor job prospects.

Some still seem to be in that process or gave up getting a degree and are working whatever jobs they can find. Sadly, others are unemployed (though less of them seem unemployed than expected from our country’s huge youth unemployment and our high school providing basically no job skills).

They still seem to have overall been happier and more successful in private lives than I, but I wouldn’t trade.”

14. Yikes

“There was this popular girl in high school, called Kristy.

She thought she was so great and so pretty. Everyone thought she was super cool. I was in the same group as her and had to put up with her, even though I really didn’t like her and she didn’t like me either.

She was always making snide comments to me about my appearance or making fun of my sister’s epilepsy.

Anyway, I’m 30 now and I saw her, and she just seems sad. She looks all scraggy, needs a haircut, sunken in face, gets around in disgusting looking clothing and no shoes.

She is skin and bone. She also has 5 kids and is on welfare.”

15. All kinds of professions

“Our class president became an ambulance-chasing lawyer with terrible ethics. However, his tremendous success has allowed him to live in a suburb of New York City in a multi-million dollar house with a trophy wife.

The popular athletes mostly became cops or retail management.

The popular cheerleader types seem to have become office workers of various sorts.

The kids that everyone would have pegged as the academic superstars became accountants and software salesmen. The kids that nobody would have thought would amount to anything pretty much didn’t amount to anything, with a few exceptions (one guy became a nurse and is now very involved in elder rights and health).

A couple went to prison. To a certain extent, many of these kids were dealt a bad hand from the beginning.

In fact, the most successful were sort of the people that weren’t popular but widely respected for one reason or another, ones that worked reasonably hard in school, were bright, but otherwise unassuming.

One went on to make over $100 million on a widely successful console game. Another became a writer for Rolling Stone. We had a couple of professional comedians. Many are professors, doctors, lawyers, and scientists (like myself).

Most of my high-school class, however, simply went to college for whatever they were interested in and took a job doing something very respectable and very average.”

The post People Who Attended High School Reunions Reveal What Happened to ‘the Cool Kids’ appeared first on UberFacts.

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Garbage Collectors & Dumpster Divers Reveal the Insane Stuff People Threw ​Out

Ever been dumpster diving? It’s pretty wild.

Yes, rich people throw away a bunch of expensive things for no apparent reason other than they’re rich.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at these 23 answers to the question that reddit asked, “What’s the most illegal, strange or valuable thing you’ve seen while gathering people’s trash?”

Oh, and do you want to know what pro football players throw out? That one is at the end. And it’s pretty nuts.

23. “Ironically a bunch of brand new trashcans”

I’ve volunteered at neighborhood cleanups and have found some amazing stuff.

I was working the metal bin, but took home a couple nice GT bmx bikes for the kids.

A brand new in the box turkey deep fryer.

Ironically a bunch of brand new trashcans (Rubbermaid brute)

Perfectly fine honda pressure washer.

Commercial paint sprayer.

I grab it for myself and sell that shit!

22. “They were BEDAZZLED.”

I’m a janitor in an office building. I’ve seen a lot of strange things in the five years I’ve been there. Bathroom trash is the weirdest – I’ve found empty bottles of lube, chicken wings stuffed into the tampon boxes, pregnancy tests at least a few times a year – but the lady with the bugs was the weirdest.

One of the floors in the building had a huge problem with bugs. One night I was collecting the trash off the floor when I noticed she had very carefully decorated a cardboard box to look like a hotel, and had a sign inviting people to drop any bugs they found inside. It was weird, but I figured she was just collecting proof of the bug problem to get management to do something about it.

A few weeks later, I turned the corner to her cubicle, and it was covered in bugs. There were about 20, tacked up all over with pushpins. And they were BEDAZZLED. Each of these goddamn bugs had its own unique pattern.

After we told management about it they finally did bring an exterminator in! We still talk about the “bug lady” to this day.

21. “…in their own specialty shaped little recessed bits lay three large adult toys.”

I was doing waste analysis, collecting people’s domestic rubbish and sorting it into categories, producing data for recycling planning. Fairly disgusting job.

Anyway, I once found a nice wooden box with a hinged lid, lined with some sort of silky fabric, and in their own specialty shaped little recessed bits lay three large adult toys.

One was the size of a fire extinguisher. The thing was scary.

No idea why someone would throw them out when they’d clearly been cherished.

20. “So, he started a freecycling program…”

Not a garbageman, but in my college town dumpster diving was a regional sport every May with all the college kids throwing away anything they didn’t care to move.

My geography professor found a brand new, never used, pair of skis in the trash one year. So, he started a freecycling program, which was an assignment for my honors human geography class.

We picked up unwanted items from the dorms and Greek houses, and held onto them until school started in the fall, when students could have their pick of anything.

Certain items, like shoes, went straight to where my professor volunteered in Peru, and anything unused went to Goodwill or another thrift store.

Laziness does terrible things when you’re young.

19. “…the CEO doesn’t give a sh!t.”

My friend’s dad is the “do everything” kind of man for a CEO of a construction company.

He gets asked to throw away jewelries and expensive art artifacts.

He also had to get rid of old pick ups (sell them or whatever he could but get rid of them) he could keep the money the CEO doesn’t give a sh!t.

18. “I still have a 3 storage units full of house parts I picked up back then”

I have a (now deceased) friend who basically stocked his antique store with stuff he found on the side of the road.

I’m sort of ashamed to admit it because I feel like it was profiting off the misfortune of others but I lived in New Orleans during hurricane Katrina and I basically rebuilt my house from stuff that people tossed. I was amazed at the amount of stuff people ripped out that was above the waterline.

​People would literally hire crews to gut their entire house and they would put everything, and I repeat, everything on the side of the road. At one point there

Some of the stuff I found: AC Units. 2-3 Sub-Zero refrigerators (compressor is on the top, people, there are no electronics in the bottom to get wet). A full room of paneling which I used to panel a small bathroom.

Marble flooring. Attic fans. Solid wood doors. A full vintage porcelain bathroom set (tub, sink, toilet and bidet). A skeleton shower from the 20’s ($). Hardwood flooring. Chandeliers. Cabinets. Lots and lots of cypress molding and structural elements.

Also found: TV sets. Computers. 2 grand pianos (flood had discolored legs but not reached the soundboard). 3-4 bedroom sets. A stack of paintings by a well-known LA artist ($$). Lamps. Stereo equipment.

I still have a 3 storage units full of house parts I picked up back then that I have slowly been incorporating into my current home renovation. It was truly a shame to see all this great old stuff be tossed and replaced with Home Depot crap. I could have filled 10 more units with stuff I saw and couldn’t store.

17. “…to hear the most satisfying “pop” you’ve ever heard.”

Brother owns a trash company which I worked a lot for during summer breaks.

I’ve found a live possum, which hissed at me. Dead mice. Lots of adult videos. Blow up doll.

The most valuable thing to find is glass handles of vodka. We used to save them in the cab, throw them as high as we could at the dump to hear the most satisfying “pop” you’ve ever heard.

Gotta find little enjoyable things that make you smile while working a literal sh*tty job.

16. “I mean like small scale professional level stuff.”

Not a garbage man, but we used to hang out at the dumpster of the local U-Store type place (before the whole Storage Wars thing happened) and first of the month you could find the coolest sh*t in that dumpster.

I remember we got an entire wine making set. And I don’t mean a little one, I mean like small scale professional level stuff. Wine corks, multiple heavy glass bottles of all different colors, those huge glass bottles, the hoses and valves, everything.

Basically looked like someone had an entire micro-brewery setup and forgot to pay the rent on his box.

Whoopsie.

15. “This man just threw about 30k in the trash”

I worked as garbage man last year as a summer job. One day a man came by who said he lost a high sum of money and he wants us to look for it. The money was in an envelope and he said it was € 10.000+. He said he wanted to bring the money to the bank and stashed it between some old newspaper he wanted to get rid of (yeah, what a genius, right?).

Anyways, we were about 10 men at that time and he promised to give all of us a fair share if we manage to find it, so, obviously we started the search.

As you can imagine, that shit usually takes a while to find because you have to literally look through every paper container (about 20) for a small envelope.

Well, the luck was on our side that day, after about 10 minutes a coworker called out that he got it. Awesome. He looked inside and told us later that it was definitely more than 10k (more like 30k).

Everybody got a 100€ bill and it was pretty much the best working day ever.

This man just threw about 30k in the trash and found it like 2 hours later. Should’ve went to the casino that day.

14. “Others were sold on eBay for 4 times what I paid…”

I’m a major thrift store scavenger. I found a tiny hole-in-the-wall junk shop in a town just outside a big Tennessee city, near Amish country. Most of the stuff was old vending machine crap, and stacks of old magazines etc.

I saw a big plastic bag full of (what looked like) old, torn towels that had “donate” written on it and scratched out, and “whole bag $10” rewritten on the bag. I started peeking through it. Under the torn towels were incredibly beautiful hand-embroidered bed linens and pillowcases, some with crocheted or hand-tatted lace trim.

Most were incredibly soft linen, or beautiful cotton. I’m a crafter so I immediately saw the value. My guess is that someone’s mother/grandmother passed away and they threw her whole linen cabinet into a bag without looking closely. I got up really quickly so the store clerk wouldn’t see how excited I was and guess that the bag had more than towels in it. I paid the $10 and ran to my car to unpack.

In that bag were 8 pairs of pillowcases (all different, all flawlessly embroidered ), 6 embroidered woven dish towels , a 1950s style apron, and many small items like handkerchiefs..and 2 torn towels. Down the road in the antiques shopping row, I saw a pair of nearly identical pillowcases going for $50 a pair.

A bunch of the stuff is currently on my bed. Others were sold on eBay for 4 times what I paid for the whole bag.

13. “Guy had left computers, tvs, a f*cking mercedes…”

Friend’s uncle owns some apartment buildings. Guy from China was living in one of the units and ended up needing to leave the country for Visa issues.

Eventually got in touch with the guy somehow (email likely) to ask what was going on, why no rent paid, etc.

Guy explains and says that he can’t give money for rent, and to just sell off anything in the apartment to make up for it.

Guy had left computers, tvs, a f*cking mercedes, etc.

Cleared way more than the $1600 for two months rent, plus kept the security deposit.

12. “He tells Dad that the foot was likely removed as a warning to someone…”

Not me, but my Dad was.

He found his share of cool stuff. he worked from 1969-1989 for the DSNY. I still have a lamp made from an old brass fire extinguisher that he found, like many others, he found lots of TV’s, some new clothes (usually at Christmas time – that is why we always went through the wrapping paper), baseball cards by the box, wish I kept those, some WWII stuff, most notably an SS Dagger –

but one of the wings of the eagle was broken and attached with scotch tape. Stamps, cause I collected them when I was a kid. I have a Hitler postage stamp somewhere from this.

I wrote this before, but here it goes. The creepiest thing was in the early 1970’s, Dad and the other 2 guys (at the time they were 3 to a truck, one drove, the others loaded the trash), were in East New York, an area of Brooklyn that is really sh*tty (and still is today).

They come across a very large human foot that was black (as in it came from someone who was black). Not knowing what to do, they put it in a paper bag and drove to the nearest police precinct. They walk up to the desk Sgt and place the bag in front of him. He asks what is this about?

He gestures to look inside. Desk Sgt does. closes bag up, looks at Dad and his partners, and tells them “Cycle it” (By cycle, he meant just run it through the truck with the other trash).

He tells Dad that the foot was likely removed as a warning to someone, that they (the police in that precinct) had seen it before. It was likely drug related. Even if they did find the owner, he wouldn’t talk, and the foot couldn’t be attached back. By moving the foot, they pretty much ruined a crime scene.

They cycled the foot.

This was the 1970’s – NYC was in a downward spiral at the time.

11. “The most valuable would have to be an assorted allotment…”

Very wealthy neighborhood.

I tossed 4-5 bags into the hopper, the fifth one ripped… sweet sweet mary jane. Although it was just trimmings.

I laughed and kept going.

The most valuable would have to be an assorted allotment of unused Winsor and Newton oil paints.

Nothing too spectacular. But as an artist it was valuable to me.

10. “…wondering if people knew that I could read all of their medical records…”

As a kid, I can chime in what rich people threw away, even in the 1970s. None of this would make that much sense anymore, but the number one thing that I found that was surprising were clock radios. They were perfectly functioning clock radios, they just weren’t the new LCD models. They were the flip kind, or they would have a gear that would slowly turn and show the time. Are used to clean them up, and then sell them to other neighborhood kids for like five bucks. My mother caught wind of this, and put an end to it because she didn’t like the thought of her son digging through someone else’s trash.

Decades later, I went dumpster diving with some friends once in a while to get computer equipment from the back of failed business operations. It’s how I built my first few computers. I remember looking at one of the contents of the hard drive, and wondering if people knew that I could read all of their medical records or private email. :/

I am told that it’s better handled now. Almost every company I’ve worked for in the last 20 years has some sort of technology recycling service, but I always wonder if they’re just paying someone else to throw it in the dumpster for them.

9. “The rich guy hands him the keys, title,”

My uncle’s friend picked up trash in Grosse Pointe in the 80’s. There was a rich client who would often meet him by the curb just to talk every day. One day, he up and asks, “Hey, you know anything about cars?” Uncle’s friend happened to be working the trash job to save up to open his own car shop, so he replied, “Sure do!”

The guy then asked him what he thought about the Ford Escort, and uncle’s buddy replied that he thought it was cheap, but reliable. The rich guy hands him the keys, title, and tells him to pick it up after his route, he had bought it brand new for his daughter, but she hated it, and he was going to get her a different car.

The odometer had less than 500 miles on it.

8. “Easily have gotten over $5k worth of makeup products…”

I enjoy dumpster diving from time to time even though I make enough money to live comfortably – I grew up in the poor parts of San Diego and would dumpster dive as a kid with my friends for fun and the habit never really wore off.

Back when I was a preteen/teen there was a fairly well off family in our apartment complex who had 4 kids and every month or two, their parents would get PISSED OFF at one of their kids and throw out ALL of their toys. This happened like clockwork every 2-3 months with one kid one month, another kid another month and sometimes 2or 3 kids in one sitting. My friend and I would dumpster dive and pull out EASILY $500 worth of toys each – sometimes brand new stuff with price stickers still attached.

One time, they threw out their kids Harry Potter collection stuff out. Got a few of the books, some limited edition golden Harry Potter bookmarks, unused journals and this brand new and unopened. I still have it over 15 yrs later.

More recently though I’ve found a F*CKTON of crafting supplies – mainly really expensive beads and beading materials to make necklaces/bracelets. I’m talking like 30 lbs of beads and beading materials in one big box – split it up into parts and sold them for $100 on ebay each.

Also found a set of really nice fireplace pokers with the holder, a few used brand name handbags, a bag full of Iron Maiden gear including shirts, CDs, random cutouts and printouts of Iron Maiden’s Eddie and a huge cloth iron maiden flag all from the same dumpster (on different occasions).

Also, when I go out of town to big cities (or when I go back to visit my family in San Diego) I like to go dumpster diving at makeup stores since they tend to throw out perfectly near new condition displays ALL THE TIME.

Easily have gotten over $5k worth of makeup products over the years by diving in their dumpsters.

7. “sold them all online for like $600 pure net profit…”

Not a garbage man – but at work there was this big cleaning spree in our storage room (IT place)

Rummaging through it because I was bored and noticed there were a LOT of brand new sealed in retail box Lexmark color ink cartridges. I don’t have an inkjet but this was going to get thrown on a pallet and tossed.

I scored probably 25 or 30 brand new boxes (tricolor packs) and sold them all online for like $600 pure net profit (after fees).

Turns out people are willing to buy those things when your price is 20% less than everyone else online.

6. “8 year old me f*cking LOVED bin day.”

My dad has been ‘on the bins’ (working for the council doing refuse, blocked drains, street cleaning etc) for about 30-odd years.

He brought a load of books home once, all hard cover Terry Pratchett’s, that someone had just tossed in to a bin in a shopping centre.

He used to do tip runs, collecting stuff that had been dumped illegally and taking it to a tip (landfill?) and he used to come back with all sorts of sh!t. Mum would just bin it all again as soon as he was at work. “Look at this!” he’d say, dragging something utterly horrid in to the house “Can you believe someone would throw this away?!” Yes dad. We can believe.

Bonus points – his mates that worked our route would let me press the button on the trash compactor!

8 year old me f*cking LOVED bin day.

5. “a Raleigh 753 tubing road race bike.”

Dumpster diver: Fender Telecaster, rusted strings but unplayed;

Sony short wave radio;

washing machine & dryer;

silver ashtray, spoon, and chopsticks, a set;

unopened whiskey and brandy bottles;

a sword;

a set of old handmade carbon steel kitchen knives with ebony handles;

several printers;

3 Sony Trinitron monitors;

books, lots of books;

several 30-40 year old passports;

a Raleigh 753 tubing road race bike;

a top-of-the-line DeLonghi espresso machine.

4. “…found $40,000 hidden…”

Not a trash story exactly, but….a couch was donated to a charity.

It went onto the sale floor at a thrift shop and sat there for 2 weeks.

Since it reached the time limit for sale they were throwing it into the dumpster.

A last second inspection found $40,000 hidden inside.

I didn’t see one red cent of it, but it went to charity so I guess thats cool.

3. “He just kept saying heads, heads, heads…”

A normal day at the landfill was interrupted by a scream of terror from the dozer driver who came running full tilt and white as a sheet up to my me.

He just kept saying heads, heads, heads, over and over again.

They went back to his dozer and found a garbage bag torn open with ten bloody heads spilling out of it.

Somebody had thrown away ten mannequin heads that had been used in a local haunted house.

2. “It’s hard to imagine what rich kids throw out.”

I grew up near a very wealthy prep school, and at the end of every year I would dumpster dive for all kinds of things.

Electronics (mp3s, graphing calculators, etc…), brand new camping gear from the one overnight trip they do, desks/desk chairs, money, you name it.

I’d sell some on craigs, keep some, and donate what I didn’t need.

It’s hard to imagine what rich kids throw out.

1. “…contracts and just about all the personal information that one would need to actually become Ricky Williams.”

When former Football player Ricky Williams briefly retired to become a spiritual guru in the hills he moved into a place that was on my recycling route.

I noticed a box he tossed once and grabbed it to see if there was any memorabilia or football items related in it. It looked important.

What was in it was team doctors papers, contracts and just about all the personal information that one would need to actually become Ricky Williams.

I felt weird that this was out there, so I took it home and burned every piece of it in the fireplace.

Felt guilty even looking at it as I tossed it.

Moral to these stories? If you’re Ricky Williams, you need to get a firepit and burn yo shit! #truth

The post Garbage Collectors & Dumpster Divers Reveal the Insane Stuff People Threw ​Out appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Share the Weird Things They Did When They Were Kids

All of us were kids at one point and we all did weird sh*t.

With that in mind, one Reddit user asked this question recently:  “What are some strange things you did as a kid?”

15 people shared what they used to do, and the last one is EPIC. Make sure to check out #1. Seriously.

15. “…it was very important to me to do what felt like the right thing.”

When a family pet would die, Dad placed it in a garbage bag and put our dead cat or dog in the trash bin for collection.

Even though he wouldn’t allow a “pet cemetery” on their property, the minute he left for work I retrieved our pet and buried it in a remote section of the back yard (with an etched stone for a marker).

Mom would help me, and Dad never found out It felt strange keeping a secret from him because it was the only one – but it was very important to me to do what felt like the right thing.

14. “I liked the taste of the limestone dust/concretions.”

when we had tornado drills in school we would all go into the new tornado shelter under the cafeteria.

It was dark and had really encrusted limestone gravel. I’d suck on the rocks because I liked the taste of the limestone dust/concretions. It was a rare event because we didn’t have a lot of tornado drills.

Suckin rocks in the dark surrounded by hundreds of kids.

13. “Then I took each pair off one-by-one…”

I used to put on somewhere between 5-10 pairs of shorts and go visit an elderly couple that lived a few houses down.

Upon arriving, I’d get them to guess how many pairs they thought I was wearing. Then I took each pair off one-by-one (except for the last) to reveal the final count.

They usually gave me powdered donuts afterwards. Then I’d be on my way.

12. “…even my mom said it was really creepy.”

For whatever reason, I always used to repeat things immediately after I said them but in a whisper.

“I’ll have chicken tenders!”

I’ll have chicken tenders

Years later, even my mom said it was really creepy.

11. “I miss my light buddy.”

You know how light reflects on the tile floor to create a glowing orb? I used to be best friends with that little guy till about 5th grade.

When I’d see him in the school auditorium or in class I distinctly remember whispering “Hey buddy” or something like that.

I kind of miss the times where you could just personify inanimate nonsense.

I miss my light buddy.

10. “There are no dentists in our family…

We pretended that we lived in the mouth of a boy named Johnny.

Basically, we’d wrap a thick blanket around our legs (to represent the gums), and shout with excitement when Johnny brushed his teeth or drank milk, or scream in horror when he ate chocolate or other sugary foods.

No idea how this started. There are no dentists in our family…

9. “My sinuses were full of rotting bread.”

I’m the 2nd of 4 kids in a military family.

When I was still a preschooler, one day, my mother notices I stink. Not dirty, not sweaty, but full on rolled in garbage stink.

So I get yelled at for playing in the garbage and bathed and made to put on new clothes and a little while later I stink again.

So I get yelled at and bathed and made to put on new clothes and a little while later I stink again.

This went on until my mother had (the first of many) mini nervous breakdowns.

She took me to the doctor. She was crying and sobbing and explained the insanity of what was going on and begged him to find out what was wrong … because even then I stank like garbage.

It took him a few minutes but he did sort it out.

I had been taking small bits of white bread from my sandwiches, rolling them into little balls and shoving them up my nose.

My sinuses were full of rotting bread.

He pulled out as much as he could, I sneezed out the rest over a couple of days and then I stopped stinking.

Side Note : I have no memory of this, only my mother telling the story every chance she gets.

8. “I would then climb into the fireplace…”

When I was about 1-2 years old, I apparently used to take of all my clothes.

That’s not the strange thing. Lots of kids like to run around naked.

The strange part is that I would then climb into the fireplace and eat charcoal.

My older siblings all love to remind me of it.

7. “I had to do it again 4 more times…”

I had OCD where everything I did, I had to do in multiples of 5.

Everything, number of bites before swallowing, I had to take 5 chips at one time, scratch myself 5 times etc you get the idea.

So if ever I had to do something for the 6th time, I had to do it again 4 more times to hit 10

hahaha

6. “A few other neighbours didn’t lock their doors.”

I used to break into my neighbours homes when I was 7 or 8 maybe.

Never stole anything of value, just wandered around. Had a neighbour who had a massive house but didn’t appear to live there.

The stairs leading from the parking pad into the home was just surrounded by bars, I was able to squeeze through the bars to enter the home.

A few other neighbours didn’t lock their doors. I remember one instance of being in someone’s home and walking around and found a box of cookies on the kitchen counter. They were sprinkle cookies, very delicious.

I remember being upstairs and I heard someone in the shower. They came out before I could get down the stairs.

I spent a long time trying to escape unseen.

5. “the other person would ram them in the ass…”

Ok..finally I can confess.

My friend and I used to play this game where one person (we’re females ) would bend over with their ass in the air on the bed and the other person would ram them in the ass with their head.

I was never really into it. Mostly since I was usually the one with my ass in there. My friend was weird. But I did it because some times it was funny.

I have lived with the shame of the stupidity of this game for years.

4. “I’ll get a craving every now and again…”

I used to eat paper.

If I got a napkin with a meal, I’d eat that along with the food, and I’d tear corners off textbooks for a snack.

Even now as an adult, I’ll get a craving every now and again for a paper towel.

3. “I decided to try to make perfume by pulverizing…”

What strange things didn’t I do?

I dug up nightcrawlers for the sheer pleasure of seeing how gross/slimy/interesting they were.

My best friend and I had a game where we played at being vampires and werewolves.

I decided to try to make perfume by pulverizing magnolia flowers, putting them in a bottle with some other random stuff that smelled good, and left it in the sun, long story short, it didn’t turn into perfume.

I had a “pet” squirrel that would come and climb window-screens if I didn’t feed it by a certain time each day.

Honestly, I could go on and on.

2. “The people below us screamed, grabbed the croc for a minute…”

My extended family would visit a timeshare condo in Vermont in the summer. My mom, dad, brother and I stayed in one bedroom with a bunk bed, and my cousin, aunt, and uncle stayed in the other.

My family’s room had a full-length mirror on the door. My cousin, brother, and I would play a game called “Funny News”, where I would pretend to be a news anchor in front of the mirror and talk about the weather and make up random news and they would throw stuffed animals at me and I would react to them. I would say things like “And today the forecast calls for…” and they would throw a teddy bear at me and I would say “…for BEARS?!” Goofy things like that.

Another time we took my cousin’s stuffed crocodile, tied a string around it, and lowered it down from the balcony. We were on the fifteenth floor of the building. The people below us screamed, grabbed the croc for a minute, and then tossed it back over their balcony…

1. “I once woke my parents up in the middle of the night singing “We Will Rock You” by Queen.”

Oh boy. Where do I start?

I had an imaginary boyfriend named Boomafitz. He had spiky hair, a red bowtie with blue polka dots, and sharp teeth.

Among my other imaginary friends were a british ghost girl named Jenny who spent all her time crying and eating potato chips and a goldfish named Mustard, who ate dogs.

I fought with people all the time. I would constantly make huge scenes in public arguing with other kids. Once I met another little girl, and we got along at first, until she said that her dad was the strongest man in the world. I politely informed her that my dad was the strongest man in the world. We went back and forth telling stories of our father’s feats of strength, and she told me that her dad once lifted up a skyscraper. With 100 people in it. I couldn’t compete with that. I went home heartbroken after learning that there was a man stronger than my dad.

I had a crush on Mighty Mouse, and left out bars of soap for him every night in the hopes that he would come to my house to retrieve the soap, and I would catch him and he would marry me.

Whenever I played with Barbies, which I did until I was 13 years old, the games were usually about Ken kidnapping the Barbies and taking them all to a deserted island, where he used them as his sex slaves, whom he murdered brutally every time they tried to fight back. Eventually, the Barbies who had survived escaped and killed Ken by hanging him with his intestines. They went back home on a large makeshift boat, and I then played follow-up games about them dealing with the trauma of what had happened to them.

I wrote a lot of songs about unicorns stabbing people I didn’t like to death with their horns.

I talked to strangers a lot, and I thought everyone I spoke to was my friend. Except for that girl who’s dad was stronger than mine, she was my worst enemy even though I never saw her again. I would tell them really weird, personal things, too. I remember once when I got lost in the store, I just waltzed right up to this poor elderly couple to regale them with tales of how I kept getting bloody noses because I picked my nose too much, until my parents found me and dragged me away from them, apologizing profusely right before I got the chance to move on to the topic of peeing my pants.

Now I love Halloween and Horror, but I used to be absolutely petrified of that stuff. I couldn’t set foot into the Spirit Halloween store without sobbing like a baby until I was 11 years old.

I played a lot of melodramatic “Grey’s Anatomy” type games where I was dying in the hospital.

I once woke my parents up in the middle of the night singing “We Will Rock You” by Queen.

When I was a toddler, I absolutely loved “Walk” by Pantera.

I used to take the head off of my toy horse and put it in my dad’s bed.

I used to dress my Elmo toy up as Hitler and put him in my dad’s bed.

I pretended I was a little angel around adults, but when I was around other kids, I was a huge jerk who bossed everyone around all the time. I don’t know how my best friend put up with it all these years. She was basically my minion in the beginning of out relationship. She liked me more than I liked her, and I just ordered her around, and she happily obeyed my every word. But sometimes I would make kids cry or get mad and start attacking me. I may have pretended to be big and powerful, but I was really a weakling.

I wrote a series of books about a floating green head who went on adventures with his friends, Stick Figure, Sarah, Cookie, and Vampire Rabbit.

Whenever I would visit my cousins, I would always cry because I thought they would go blind from playing video games too much. My older cousin usually tried to comfort me, while my other cousin who’s a little younger than me always got annoyed and tried to tease me and make it worse.

Okay, that last one wins all of the internet points. You are officially the strangest kid in existence.

All hail user/SadButterscotch2!

But it’s fun to be strange, right? Just as long as you grow out of most of it?

Naw, who am I kidding. Being strange is what makes us who we are.

So stay strange, fam!

The post 15 People Share the Weird Things They Did When They Were Kids appeared first on UberFacts.