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Hunters Shared the Creepy Things That Made Them Never Want to Venture Back into the Woods

Are you prepared to be creeped out? If you’re the kind of person who frequents the woods — whether it’s for hunting, hiking or bird watching — these scary stories from AskReddit might make you think twice about back heading out into the wild frontier.

1. Drug runner?

“My father and I were following a trail for a while so we decided to take a break and catch our breaths, I sat on a log off the trail and my dad stood on the edge of the trail waiting for me to get up. I hear some movement and scan around and I see a man, dress casually, walking quickly down the trail with a Glock in his hand.

He is not really following the trail, he is just walking toward my dad with haste. Before he comes up to my dad, he asks if he’s seen anything(pretty normal). I keep an eye on him because I don’t believe he was there to hunt, I think he was there to make sure my dad hadn’t seen anything he wasn’t supposed to. He wasn’t dressed like a hunter, he didn’t walk like a hunter, and It was deer season and he decided he would take his Glock out to get a deer… I wasn’t buying, so I put a round in the chamber and watched them talk.

He seemed to be confident until my dad mentioned that he was here with me and gestured in my direction. I nodded and made a half-assed wave. And he seemed to lose interest in us and ended the conversation shortly after and turned around and walked back the way he came, just about as fast as he walked up to us. It worried us a bit but we continued on. We haven’t been back to that area in a while. My dad told me that there have been drug busts near that area in the past. This isn’t a supernatural tale, just an experience that made me not want to go back to that area.”

2. Creature in the night

“A long time ago my grandparents bought a small cabin in the woods in Pennsylvania. My dad, uncle, and aunt are all small children. My father told me this story. They’re all sitting around outside with a small fire going when they hear branches breaking and footsteps coming from the darkness. They think it’s a black bear because it’s close but they can’t see it. It’s seems to be going straight for my uncle, the littlest of the children.

He starts panicking while everyone tells him not to move. Now this big black beast is within arms reach of him and he’s shaking like a leaf with his eyes closed. All of a sudden it opens it’s jaws and starts licking his face.. turns out that the next property over is owned by a couple who raise Newfoundland dogs and one got out.”

2. Bones

“I work in the woods for a living and I’ve seen a fair amount of odd things… Carvings in trees, old beat up cars, random weird trash scattered through the woods, and a fair amount of animal carcasses. I’ve had instances where I’ve gotten spooked, stuff like jumping big critters is always quite jolting, but I can recall one rather butt puckering experience. I was working with a few other people at the time, spaced out of sight but not out of ear shot. I crossed over a little ridge atleast 2 miles from the closest road, in the middle of the woods, and I saw what looked like a full skeleton of a cow tied together with twigs and a little bit of twine.

Who ever made it had fashioned it to be sitting on a log. They left a very neat pile of bones in front of the thing, and nothing anywhere else. I saw it and about fainted. Definitely really fucking odd considering how far we were off the road, and how thick and steep it was. I ended up getting the folks I was with to come check it out, really just for shits and giggles. I took note of it and we moved on to the next plots.”

4. Snake pit

“There is a place in Kingston, Idaho or the otherside of Fernan Saddle- depending on which way you go to get there. I call it the snake pit, and no I don’t mean the restaurant. I still visit the area now once in a while and camp there. Anyways next to where I camp in the trees is a basin, and it has a bunch of old 1920s-1930’s rotted cars in it, overgrown by bushes and trees but sunlight falls on the cars.

First time I camped out there I walked into those woods and the leaves all started to move. The snakes were running from me while they were sunbathing on the cars. Fuckin creeeeped me out. I don’t go in there for wood anymore and I don’t see the snakes leave that spot so I just let them be.”

5. Fire three shots

“When I was a kid, a poacher must have thought I was a deer or something and shot a round at me. It impacted on a tree above my head. I immediately fired three shots as fast as I could, not at the shooter but in the air. In my hunting group, immediate three shots means “HELP” basically.

My dad and our hunting club immediately came out to find out what the fuck happened by honking the horns of their trucks letting me know they were coming. I basically laid on the ground until I could tell they were near the dirt road. Told them what happened and guessed it was probably a road poacher trying to get a deer as it came from the same road. They didn’t see him. It was private property and we were always very aware of who was at what location and who was hunting where. Nobody was suppose to be in the part I was at.

Scared the shit out of me. This was mid-90s. Reason why I don’t like hunting on public property is cause of that and I don’t know the people out there.”

6. Near-death experience

“I was in the woods once in really dense fog and had an arrow fly past my face into a tree haha nothing like a near death experience to avoid the spot and idiot that shot at you.”

7. Caught on camera

“When i went hunting with my dad one time we saw a homeless looking guy carrying what looked like a torn cloth and a screwdriver on one of the trail cams. this cam was pretty deep into the woods, and it was no one we knew so we were pretty creeped out to go back out there.”

8. Hell no

“I was being watched on the woods, it was the strangest feeling. I got paranoid enough that I began walking all the way to where I knew a park warden was parked. After about 100 meters, I turn around to make sure I wasn’t being followed, and I see three bears smacking my stuff around. One bear was standing up in the middle of the access road staring right at me.”

9. Overly friendly dear

“Not a hunter but I go backpacking and fishing quite a bit. I have an irrational fear of bears, and waking up to bear tracks around my camp was quite unsettling and I did not spend much more time in the area.

I’ve also had a creepy encounter with an overly friendly deer. I was in a pretty isolated area so I thought it was odd to see a deer that was so calm around humans, this deer would not leave me alone it walked around my camp all day and came back at night to scare the shit out of me by laying down outside my tent.”

10. Missouri

“Camping alone in the middle of Missouri the night before turkey hunting. The place I found was a fairly well used campsite but no one was there. About to go to sleep when I hear a truck come up. I find a reason to come out (use the restroom) so I can get a look and maybe even ask for some good places to spot turkey.

It’s a dude and his girlfriend drinking beers and going for a ride. They are super nice but they mentioned after our chat and before leaving “watch yourself out here.. lots of meth heads and they won’t stop for bird shot. Want a slug? I probably have a few in my tool kit.” I did not sleep at all that night.”

11. Get out of there

“I walked up on a meth lab while scouting for a hunting spot. I noped the hell out of there immediately. I had never encountered such a thing before, and in hindsight the smell should have been a dead giveaway. It wasn’t until I was standing there looking at what looked like a bunch of garbage under camo tarps and such that I realized what I was looking at.

Edit: I walked back to where I had cell service, called the sheriff and showed him on a map where it was. Bunch of them went in (found nobody), and made me wait with another officer for over an hour by the cruisers.”

12. A suitcase

“My family owns a couple hundred acres of forest in eastern NC. No one lives on the property anymore, and hasn’t for the last six or seven years.

We went down there to do some target shooting in October of 2017, and I decided to go walk through the outskirts of the woods to locate a good limb for our range marker. As I’m walking, literally and proverbially kicking rocks I come across a fairly nice, but practically brand new looking suitcase, full of clothes and other personal effects. No ID, nothing with any sort of identifying markers on them. But seemed to be clothes for four people; two kids and two adults, one male and one female. Had some food, coloring books, etc. there was a makeshift lean-to about 100 yards farther into the woods.

Set up a trail camera and left it there for three weeks, never saw anyone.

For reference, this is 35 miles from any sizable town or city.”

13. SMACK

“Went on a camping trip maybe 10 years ago and in the middle of the night we heard this incredibly loud “SMACK” way out on the water. Water carries sound really well, so it woke us all right the fuck up. My first though was some drunk/deranged motherfucker with a gun was shooting out over the lake and the sound was a bullet skimming off the surface.

Turns out it was a beaver that smacked the shit out of the water before diving under. It happened again in the early morning and we laughed it off, but the notion of being out in the middle of nowhere with some homicidal prick taking potshots at you creeped me out pretty good.”

14. Learned your lesson

“Copperheads.. Bow season in KY starts early enough that you can run into a ton of them. I learned my lesson years ago to wait until at least mid November before venturing out too deep.”

15. Don’t get off the boat

“Couple of years ago I was in northern British Columbia on a fishing trip with my dad, uncle and cousins. The lake and river was a two hour drive from the nearest city. We were drifting down the river when I needed to go to the bathroom, so I got out of the boat.

As I’m doing my business, I look over and see what seems to be the top of a building. I turned to the people in the boat and told them what I saw. Walked towards the building, and realized it wasn’t alone. Multiple homes, buildings in the middle of the forest. It was a very small and isolated Native American tribe, and we backed away. Not super creepy but didn’t want to cause any trouble. We continued on without any contact.”

The post Hunters Shared the Creepy Things That Made Them Never Want to Venture Back into the Woods appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Reveal Their “Never Again” Brands, Restaurants, and Companies

There is one restaurant where I live in North Carolina that shall remain nameless that I’m never going back to because the service is just BRUTAL. And I’ve given them a couple of shots.

AskReddit users went on the record and revealed what brands, stores, restaurants, etc., made them say “never again.”

Share yours in the comments!

1. That’s bad

“We bought a flea medicine from Hartz to use on our cat and she became lethargic and didn’t eat anything. We took her to the vet and they told us that they have been trying to get that medicine off the shelves because of how it affects animals.

I was in a theater watching despicable me when my cat finally passed away. It sucked knowing that my cat is dead because of some money-hungry brand who doesn’t care about the safety of the animals it gives its products to.”

2. Cable companies are the worst

“Comcast. A door-to-door salesman straight up lied to my dad, saying they had a four-DVR setup that would cost less than what we were paying AT&T. When the installation guy got there, he said that no, they didn’t have a four-DVR setup, he was told to give us the standard two-DVR setup.

Which was absolutely not something that would work in a house with six people with wildly different tastes in TV shows.

So my dad tells him never mind, we’re sticking with AT&T then, but because the Comcast guy had already installed our new cable box, he couldn’t take it back with him, so we had to mail it back to Comcast ourselves.

The kicker is, five years later Comcast tried to bill my parents for the cable box, saying we never sent it back. My parents insisted they did, and Comcast wanted the UPS receipt, which obviously we no longer had because it was five years ago and we hadn’t heard anything from them before this.

So my parents refused to pay, Comcast sent a collections company after us, and when my parents explained the situation to the collection company, they were like “those f*ckers, we’ll take care of this.” That was, thankfully, the end of it.”

3. Avoid at all costs

“If I see something is being shipped by OnTrac, I’ll cancel. The three times they were the delivery company from Amazon, they lost one package completely and tried to say it wasn’t their fault. The second package was also deemed lost but then showed up on my door step something like six weeks later.

The third time it sat on “shipping label created” for a week and I just contacted Amazon and canceled the package. You don’t find a lot of positive reviews out there and any positive ones you do find seem like they were written by the company via a fake account.”

4. Jiffy Lube

“Jiffy Lube.

Those idiots told me my car has no filter! I’m pretty sure they just didn’t want to take it out. They also said my car takes a “special European oil” and charged a lot extra for it. It’s not a special oil at all.

It’s an uncommon oil but a gallon of it costs the same as typical oil. I’m going to stick with the dealership to get oil changed because it’s cheaper and they know what they’re doing.

EDIT : I forgot to add the ending to this story! Not long after I got my oil changed, Jiffy Lube sent me a text message with a link asking to leave a review of their service on Google. So I obliged and left the most brutally honest one star review you’d ever read!

The next day, the manager called me and left a voicemail. She was VERY adamant that Jiffy Lube had to charge a high price for my oil because it “only can run on special European oil”.

In regards to the air filter, she offered an investigation to look at video footage to see if the technicians looked for the air filter. I know they didn’t, because I would’ve seen them take it out! It’s inside the engine cover, which they never took off.”

5. It wasn’t me

“Lyft. They recently charged me a damage fee for damages I could not have plausibly caused. I sent statements explaining how it couldn’t have been me. They sent back a standardized statement and didn’t give me any additional information.

There is no phone line to talk to a representative. I sent them multiple follow up emails, which they never responded to.

Now I have to write a statement for my credit card company to dispute the charge.”

6. Never again

“Wayfair. Purchased a $1000 sectional couch that was delivered with damaged upholstery. They refused to let me return it and instead offered me 10% off my next purchase. Yeah….. Never using that discount code.”

7. Ugggghhhhh

“I went to Dickeys Barbecue pit, their food isn’t amazing but I was craving southern food and my suburban town in California doesn’t have many options. So me and my girlfriend buy some sandwiches and have them for dinner, they’re cold and taste like salty sweat.

The next day I have uncontrollably shitting liquid shit and vomiting multiple times an hour. If I was alone I would have gone to the emergency room but my dads a nurse and was there. I vomited something like 20 times in the whole day and kept dry heaving afterwards.

The diarrhea came so fast and uncontrolled that it ruined multiple pairs of underwear and a rug that was by the toilet (Why my dad has rugs in the bathroom I don’t know but I shit on it when bent over the toilet). It took only a day for me to feel better and I was already eating heavy foods again, but lo and behold guess who comes over to see me well again and shits herself in my bathroom?

My girlfriend, the only other person who ate at Dickeys. So I spent the rest of the day, after having just shit and vomited myself to death, helping my girlfriend when she was shitting and vomiting. I think we’re closer to each other after that experience.”

8. Get in the zone…or don’t

“I bought an engine from AutoZone for a vehicle I owned. They had a vendor build the engine, and it was supposed to ship to my house. I waited three weeks for it to arrive, but it never did. I contacted their store, was told that it hadn’t shipped yet and was coming via FedEx freight. I kept up with the tracking # but couldn’t get anywhere with it.

I kept calling back every couple of days to see what was going on, and no one could figure it out. I finally managed to find out that it had shipped via another company (RL freight), and had been delivered to somewhere else. It was like pulling teeth to get a refund on an engine I never received. It took another two weeks to get the refund.

I won’t buy a soda from AutoZone now.”

9. Nope

“1-800-Flowers. F*ck them. They waited several days after I placed an order for Mothers day to tell me that they wouldn’t be able to fulfill the order. They waited until the day before, putting me in a bad position.

Now I google my Moms ZIP, add flowers and have a few choices. I call the local shops directly and 1-800-flowers is cut out of the process.”

10. Harrassed

“Macy’s. Got a credit card through them to buy a suit. My parents offered to pay the card off as a birthday present. Cue months of them calling me 5+ times a day, asking where the payment, that had already been made, was.

Harassing me to make more and larger payments. When it was finally payed off, they then tacked on a “completed payment fee” and never sent a bill, so the whole damn thing started all over. I was genuinely about to file a lawsuit over harassment or something.

It was unbelievable, because I would tell one person the payment was made, and then get 4 more calls the same day asking the same thing. Then rinse and repeat tomorrow.”

11. All fired up

“Spirit airlines. Never again. F*ck them. Flight from Vegas got canceled. They don’t even bother trying to put you on another flight, not only that you have to pay extra for the next flight available.

I told them they can go f*ck themselves and I want a refund, the customer service person told me he can refund me spirit credit, that’s when I lost it. After enough bitching, he gave me my money back to my credit card and I bought a flight on delta.”

12. Phantom charges

“AT&T.

I was told that canceling my cable and internet services with them would cost me $50 to not return the modem and cable boxes. I didn’t care, as I would’ve had to mail them in and didn’t want to mess with the hassle, so I didn’t.

6 months later I find a $487 charge on my MasterCard and it was from AT&T. It was $150 per piece of equipment, and a $37 service charge (you know, charging me money for their hassle of having to charge me money).

I asked if I returned the equipment would they rescind the charges, they said yes, I returned the equipment and they refused to take off the charge.

I confirmed with them that they received the equipment and they said yes they did, but wouldn’t rescind the charges after all. I fought it up their chain of command as much as possible and even tried to fight it through MasterCard but they couldn’t do anything about it either.”

13. Don’t wanna mess with taxes

“Turbo Tax. Did my return, got a notice that my e-file needed to be corrected, logged back in to fix it and my return wasn’t there anymore. 6 hours on the phone with 3 tiers of tech support, each one trying exactly the same thing.

Finally they were just trying random shit, so I tried random shit in parallel, managed to get to my return with the invoice number from paying for the service WITHOUT logging in. Tried to get them to understand that this was a Very Bad Thing that they should report to someone… and they told me they had no access to anyone technical and no way to submit bugs.

This from the company that lobbied to make it illegal for the government to offer tax filing service.”

14. Tell us how you really feel

“Golden Corral. That place is a festering pile of shit.”

15. You have to take a stand

“Olive Garden. First the meals got shitty and I could deal with it, but then the Alfredo sauce did too and that’s where I draw the line.”

The post People Reveal Their “Never Again” Brands, Restaurants, and Companies appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Bartenders Share the Strangest Conversations They’ve Overheard

One perk of being a bartender: hearing all the drunks and weirdos tell their tales. People spill out their guts to barkeeps, and even if they’re not being directly addressed, you know they’re still listening to everything going on on the other side of the bar.

In this AskReddit article, bartenders reveal the weirdest conversations they’ve ever heard on the job.

#1. Awwwww

“Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a women say to her friend, “Hey look, the bartender’s really cute.”

Friend: “No he’s not!”

Response: “Oh yeah, you’re right.”

#2. Negotiations

“Work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our convention center. I’ve heard way too many negotiations between businessmen and escorts.

Last one I heard involved the guy asking the lady how much extra she would charge to let his friend watch.”

#3. Classy

“Had a husband and wife who were by far the most rude people I’ve ever encountered, talking with a traveling business man. By the end of the night the business man was propositioning the woman to go back to his hotel room for some money.”

#4. Lots of cheating

“Lots and lots of cheaters. It’s weird that serial cheaters take their girls to the same spot.”

#5. Heated argument

“I’ve bartended but my favorite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar. “Look all I’m saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generation’s perception of how many police helicopters exist.” Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha.”

#6. Tennis ladies

“I bartended at a country club, and there was this one group of tennis-ladies that would always sit at the bar and get absolutely sh*tfaced on weeknights at our wine nights. They took a liking to our main bartender and kept calling him exotic (he’s Mexican), they would say how love his beard, would talk about their fav (not tennis related) positions, how they kept their nether-regions tidy, slip him their numbers, how sh*t their husbands were, etc. Gave me death glares every time I’d be bartending/bar backing with him lol.”

#7. So obvious

“On Valentine’s Day this year, we had a guest who accepted a FaceTime from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn’t see the girl, but it was so obvious.”

#8. Categorize them

“I overheard a woman who worked for a New Zealand online dating service, and was basically a profile censor. She described her job as being 80% dick pic removal, and had seen so many she could divvy them up into a few distinct categories.”

#9. Shady business

“I heard some chick say “and the worse part about it, is that lucky bastard got a whole gram of crystal out it for free.”

#10. Now I’m in love with myself

“I hated myself until I discovered masturbation.”

#11. Hahahaha

“Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I’ve heard. At first the usual “Lemme tell ya, you’re a good person. I love you man.” Later on (still fairly basic): “Fuck the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!”

To finally this gem: “If a tornado were to blow you away… I would fly after you.”

#12. Adorable

“Guy: “I think I’m going to need a coke chaser for this one.” Girl, presumably SO: “we already did all the coke…” Guy: “Coca Cola, you idiot!”

Not even the most memorable, just the most recent. For sure, a real snapshot into their relationship.”

#13. Wonder how that worked out…

“I once listened to three people have an in depth discussion about how they were going to kill the “local vampire” and the steps to take to protect themselves from the coven that said vampire is surely from.

My favorite though what a heated debate over whether the first Robin would be a crime fighter if Batman hadn’t picked him up and trained him.”

#14. Sounds fun

“I once heard a guy tell his buddy, “It’s fun, it’s like laser tag but with real guns” That was twenty years ago and to this day kick myself for not getting the whole story.”

#15. These are on the house

“A customer is on the phone in the middle of the bar, not too crowded but a long bar. Guy couldn’t have been more than 25. I go to help someone at the end of the bar and on my way back I overhear:

“No, I don’t care! She’s my sister, she is THIRTEEN and there is no reason she should be doing cocaine! At all!”

Gave him a few drinks on the house that night.”

The post 15 Bartenders Share the Strangest Conversations They’ve Overheard appeared first on UberFacts.

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16 People Share Their Most Wholesome Secrets

Do you have any wholesome secrets you’ve never shared with anybody?

Whether you answered yes or no, you should definitely check out this askreddit thread. Over 6K+ people shared theirs and we have some of the best!

Enjoy…

1. “I can’t even tell you how happy she was to wake up the next day…”

“My little sister was extremely sick with pneumonia in the ICU one Christmas when she was 6. This happened often around this time of year for her because of her asthma, but this time it was worse. She was so sick and tired, she lost track of the days in the hospital even though Christmas was approaching fast.

People dressed as elves would come in and bring gifts and my sister would say, ‘Am I going to make it back in time for Christmas?’ She was so worried and already so upset after being poked and prodded by doctors, draining fluid from her lungs and trying to get her better.

Christmas came and we decided not to tell her she missed it. We promised her. We weren’t going to ruin her Christmas!

On the 27th, while my dad worked and mom was at the hospital, I got a list from my mom and went to the store to get her gifts. I spent all night wrapping them.

The next day, they released my sister from the hospital and we told her it was Christmas Eve! I even promised her she could sleep in my bed that night, under all the Christmas lights I hung up, so she could wake me up as soon as it was Christmas morning.

I can’t even tell you how happy she was to wake up the next day and she couldn’t stop saying how much of a Christmas miracle it was!

She’s 13 and still remarks how amazing it was she made it back before Christmas, after being so horribly sick and stuck in ICU. Maybe someday we’ll tell her.”

2. “I like to drop change into them…”

“When I was a kid, I used to always twist the quarter machines on the way into stores just in case.

Got lucky a couple of times and got a few free toys.

Now that I’m grown, if I’m leaving a store with them, I like to drop change into them if I have it and leave them half twisted.”

3. “She is a quiet, sweet, helpful person.”

“Without revealing too much information, my previous job had a major perk: a lottery system in which the winners got to accompany a group to various locations in the world for a hybrid vacation/work trip.

I won the lottery one year and was selected to go to Istanbul.

I heard a coworker talking to her spouse on the phone about how bummed she was she did not get it (she was selected as my backup, but did not know who she was backing up).

She had hoped to visit a long-lost family member. She is a quiet, sweet, helpful person. She’s very behind the scenes and rather underappreciated.

I gave up my spot due to a ‘prior commitment.’

She got to go instead. I had a great time looking at her pictures.”

4. “…told him to say that she paid it earlier in the month.”

“My Aunt was gonna be short for her rent.

I paid the landlord and told him to say that she paid it earlier in the month.

She was so happy about it.

I made steaks for supper and paid extra on other bills so she’d be ahead of them.”

5. “All of this was part of my master plan to put LJ over.”

“Back when Madden ’95 for the Sega Genesis came out, I was a beast. I was more untouchable than the ’85 Bears were.

We would gather up in my dorm room, me and five friends, and we would take turns playing.

Side note: I miss the era of getting into the same room and watching other people play each other on video games.

It was super fun.

We got pretty into the whole Madden ’95 tournament concept. We ended up keeping stats on Wins-Losses and Points Per Game and Points Allowed Per Game.

Five minute quarters. We set up a mini schedule of everyone playing each other twice (that was our season).

At the end of the season, I was undefeated, my Points For Average was over 80 and I don’t remember what my Points Against Average was, but I do remember that I’d given up 13 points in the season.

Everyone else was pretty good. Our one buddy RS was probably the second best at the game, then the other guys were good and evenly matched.

We go through the playoffs, I crush everyone.

Our buddy LJ comes in and he’s not really all that great at video games, but he lucked out because one of his playoff games was against RS and he won by forfeit because RS had a test coming up and didn’t have time to play his game, and one of the games he played our other buddy CK, who was the unluckiest jerk in the world.

LJ beat CK on a last minute Hail Mary to get the right to play me.

So here we are. The title game. LJ is the ’66 Chiefs.

I’m the ’85 Bears. I started out showboating. I got up 35-0 on him in the first quarter. I lined up to onside kick and told him I would let him run back 7 in a row and tie it up, then give him a go ahead for good measure.

All of this was part of my master plan to put LJ over.

The final score was 69-66, LJ winning it on a last-second field goal kick.

I was so good at the game (and at acting) that I made it look like I legitimately lost.

I know it sounds kind of stupid to mention this as a big secret. It was just a video game, after all.

But to us, at that moment in time, it was a big deal. My roommates lost their freaking minds and almost carried LJ out of the room on their shoulders.

I think they ended up buying him pizza and drinks that night to celebrate.

To this day, no one knows I threw the game.”

6. “A few times, he had some sores on his foot…”

“I used to have to regularly travel abroad for work to this one specific town. I would stay near the main square so it got to be I would recognize the homeless people around my area.

It was a difficult time in my life, so I was drinking a little more than was healthy (nothing during the daytime or that would interfere with work, just at night to go to bed), so most nights I would go out to pick something up.

Some homeless people asked for money, some were straight up and asked for a can or two. I always felt bad doing the whole ‘pat my pockets and shrug’ routine to them as I exited the shop, knowing I was just blowing my money away on drinks for myself.

In that moment, was I so different than these guys?

I finally got up the courage to acknowledge/talk to one of them, he asked for a can or two of drinks, and I asked what kind he wanted (high percentage, of course).

In the store, I bought stuff for me, and I also bought this guy two cans, but there was a catch. In the bag were a few other things I bought him, a few sandwiches, some milk, and some sports drink.

So that was my routine.

For over a year, I would be in this town once a month or so, and I would go around and get this man a few cans and also made sure he had something to eat.

I learned that he had a shelter he could sleep in at night, I learned his name, I would shake his hand every time I saw him, chat for a bit, and wish him well.

A few times, he had some sores on his foot so I bought bandages, antiseptic cream, stuff like that.

It’s not a big deal, but I always kept it a secret.

Even when my girlfriend came with me on one of my trips, I just told her I was going to go for a walk at night to clear my head, and I went and visited this man and bought him a few drinks and some food, never told her about it.

I’ve never told anyone – I think that would ruin it for me – it’s not about me or getting a slap on the back, it was just about treating this guy like a fellow man, even for a few minutes.

Maybe I was doing something wrong, maybe that’s not the right way to help someone, I don’t know.

All I figured was this guy had more reason to drink than I did, his life looked rough. If he wanted to get messed up, he was going to find a way to get messed up anyway, and this way I figured at least he’d get some nutrition, and someone who would shake his hand, call him by name and chat and look him in the eye.

I haven’t been back to that town for years.

I don’t know if he remembers me. I think of him often. I hope he’s doing ok.”

7. “I created about 150 little paper envelopes…”

“Back in college, I liked to do special things for my friends in my dorm for Valentine’s Day. One year, I taped chocolate boxes to their doors, and the next year I taped bags of heart-shaped cookies.

My friends would find out that it was me one way or another, but it was still nice to do something nice for the people I care about.

The next year, after the majority of my dorm friends, had graduated, I still wanted to do something nice for the people in my dorm.

I created about 150 little paper envelopes, to cover everyone that would be getting a special surprise.

At around 2 a.m. I set out to taping these envelopes to all the doors on my floor (2 people per room) as well as all the RA’s on all the other floors.

I then filled every tiny envelope with a few heart-shaped Reese’s and Snickers candies. It probably took about 2 hours to completely finish.

I know a few chocolates really aren’t that big of a gift, but I wanted everybody to feel some love on Valentine’s Day.

The next day, some of the RA’s posted about it on Facebook.

They were saying that we had the best residents. It made me feel really warm and fuzzy inside, but I never let any of them know that I was the one that did it.”

8. “I thought that was the end of the story.”

“When I was 17 years old, my BFF and I decided to take the snowmobiles out for a ride in the blizzard.

We thought it would be amazing to hit some fresh forming powder and drifts. The visibility was low so we stuck to the main roads.

We ended up on a desolate road with two homes and acres and acres of farmland.

As we got close to the homes we noticed some lights and went over to see what was going on. It turned out that the old couple living there had ventured out to the store to get food in case they got snowed in.

They made the long drive and everything went fine (they had to have hit several drifts that were 1-4 feet tall).

Things only went wrong when they slowed down to turn into the drive. They didn’t dare leave their car out because they feared a snow plow would hit it.

My friend and I in full snow gear, helmets and face masks dug the car out and shoveled the driveway and made sure they got the car in the garage.

I thought that was the end of the story.

I didn’t even mention anything to my parents. Lo and behold, the next day at church this couple was there.

Our church gives time for the congregation to get up and talk about their beliefs/faith-building stories.

Sure enough, the old man gets up and starts telling about their trip to the store last night. He talked about getting stuck and worrying he would never get his car unstuck and that it would be destroyed by a snow plow.

He then said two angels appeared, barely spoke, unstuck his car and disappeared as quickly as they arrived.

He said that he had been pleading with the Lord for some help but figured it would never arrive because no one ever travels the road.

My mom looked at me and knew it was me. She didn’t say anything, I didn’t say anything.”

9. “He got a $700 ring and he said he’d work day and night to pay me back…”

“Last Christmas, my cousin really wanted Pokemon Sun and a 3DS. My Aunt and Uncle said she had too many games but I proposed I get it for her, and they agreed.

Come Christmas Eve, and I got the exclusive 1/2000 limited edition Sun/Moon boxes for her, but not the 3DS yet.

Well…Turns out they were sold out everywhere. She’s my favorite cousin, and I promised her, so I had to do something.

I already had a 3DS with Pokemon Sun, so I factory reset my 3DS and wrapped it and gave it to her. No one knows how I got the 3DS but were surprised I got one on Christmas Eve for her.

Another secret that I kept is that my friend, who’s still working through flight mechanic school, is madly in love with his girlfriend.

Well, he wanted to propose to her for Christmas as a gift. He didn’t have much money for a ring and wanted to get a $50 ring off Etsy.

I didn’t like that idea, so I brought him to the mall and gave him a budget of $1k to get a ring for his girlfriend.

He got a $700 ring and he said he’d work day and night to pay me back, and I told him no need. I still have the voicemail he and his fiancée left on my phone when they got engaged.

He and I are the only two people who know the truth behind that Christmas miracle. He’s also the same friend I’ve let squat at my house for almost a year for no charge while he gets his degree.

Nobody but him and I know he lives with me while he gets on his feet.

(Yes both of these incidents took place around the same Christmas, this past one happened 2016)

I’ve done more in the similar vein to this, such as purchasing and providing a few truckloads of food to the local Korean church so the homeless of the city could eat that Thanksgiving.

I’ve done the same for Christmas times, whether it was food or presents for the homeless who can’t afford them.

I always keep my name anonymous because I feel like it defeats the purpose of doing something out of good will as someone will always think you’re putting your name out there to brag.

I just like the feeling of knowing someone out there had a much better day because someone was generous enough.”

10. ‘That’s where my socks have been going!’

“I took my science geek housemate to Switzerland to go to CERN (European Organization for Nuclear Research) for the weekend.

I tricked him into taking Friday and Monday off work, stole his passport, and have been slowly stealing his clothes from him when he hung them up to dry.

I’m an expert packer, so I fit all we need for the weekend in one backpack so it won’t look unusual when we leave for our ‘day out at the beach’ on Friday.

I was ill for a while and he was practically my nurse, so I owe him.

I LOVE surprises.

The plan worked!

My housemate had no suspicions at all. I was crazily worked up this morning because I was scared about missing the train, then missing the flight.

He was annoyingly casual about timings this morning seeing as he thought it was a normal day out. Luckily, he knows I’m a general stresshead anyway so found nothing unusual about me rushing him out the door.

We got off the train at the airport, earlier than he was expecting, obviously.

I told him to trust me so he followed. I think he thought we were swapping trains or something. Then I handed him a card that said thank you for all the things he did for me when I was sick.

Literally a long list of individual things like ‘for moving my glass of water so I could reach it from my bed, buying me emergency sandwiches when the hospital food was crap, sitting in the uncomfortable chair while my parents visited so they could have the sofa,’ etc.

At the end of the card, it said, ‘Do you want the good news or bad news first?’ He asked for the bad news and I told him, unfortunately, we weren’t going to make it to the beach today.

The good news was that we were going on an adventure instead.

I led him away from the station and into the airport building.

He was looking really confused like he didn’t know whether to be worried or excited. It was quite crowded so we couldn’t really talk properly.

I think he knew we were going somewhere but didn’t want to believe it because he didn’t have any stuff with him.

When we got to a quieter spot, just before security I said, ‘Do you want to go somewhere cool?’ He didn’t really know what to say so I handed over his passport and the toiletries that needed to be transferred from my bag over into his and I think that’s when he finally believed we were actually doing something.

Because I was high on the buzz of surprising him, I wanted to drag it out a bit more.

I could see he was still confused but getting excited so I didn’t worry about him getting too stressed out.

So I asked him not to look at his boarding pass when he scanned it to get through the electronic gates through to security.

We got through with plenty of time because I’m one of those panickers who actually arrive hours before the flight even though we only had hand luggage.

I sat my housemate down to an airport breakfast and that’s when I spelled it out. I broke it to him that his brother and dad lied to him about the family event on Monday and that they knew about my plan to take him away somewhere.

I told him not to expect to be coming home until Monday evening and not to worry because I’d sorted travel money, someone is moving into our house this evening to look after the cat, and that I had been gradually stealing his clothes for weeks so had all he needed.

(‘That’s where my socks have been going!’)

After I’d finished explaining my trickery, I got him to finally look at his boarding pass.

He got excited about going to Geneva but he didn’t realize why we were going there. So I said, ‘You know how I was asking you what CERN was the other day?

Well, I actually already knew all about it. Do you want to go there? Good, because I’ve booked us a tour.’

That was when he really lit up.

SUCCESS!

My only failure was I stole some shorts from him because the weather forecast is looking really good for the weekend.

Turns out they’re his ‘around the house’ shorts and not suitable for the public. He bought a new pair at the airport.”

11. “If I can spare any child from that, I would, so I did.”

“My daughter isn’t biologically mine. My ex became pregnant via an affair. One of many, I came to find.

After the paternity test confirmed it, I almost left, but I had a thought.

This baby girl did not ask for this situation.

She is innocent in all this and down a father since the dude split and disappeared. I knew her mother was not able to cope with motherhood, as she was only barely coping with childless adulthood some of the time.

I stepped in.

I’ve always wanted to be a father and I’m all about helping children at a disadvantage because of my own crappy childhood.

If I can spare any child from that, I would, so I did.

She carries my name. Looks like me oddly enough (her bio dad looks like a younger me), and is now 3 with a 1st-grade education.

She speaks very well. She has a very good imagination. She is as happy as a clam and unabused. I teach her mother how to actually be a mother, and I take my daughter for extra time, all the time.

It’s the best, most fulfilling decision I have ever made.

I may not be her father, but I’m darn sure her daddy.”

12. “…she still has no idea I had anything to do with it.”

“My best friend in high school was homely. In our senior year, she kept saying how she didn’t give a crap about prom…

Even though all of our friends were going and I happen to know she loves dancing. She’s super cool and down to earth, so it was honestly unbelievable that she didn’t care about prom, but I had a hunch it was because she didn’t think anyone would ask her.

There was a boy in our grade who I had a few classes with and saw at the occasional party — one of those people that ran in the same circles and you talk to now and then.

He was a very laid back, nice guy. I asked him if he had a date for the prom or anyone in mind. He said no, so I suggested he ask my friend.

He was totally game! I asked him to please keep it between us that I brought it up, because, ‘It’s way more fun to remember being asked to prom as a complete surprise.’

I also nudged him in the direction of asking her in a cute way, and he devised a plan on his own.

She came to school a few days later beaming, saying she would be going to the prom, because she ‘couldn’t let the guy down.’

It was wonderful. We all had a great time. We’ve been friends for 24 years, and she still has no idea I had anything to do with it.

She never will.”

13. “…I sometimes intentionally annoy the cat so that he will go snuggle with my husband instead…”

“I’ve had my cat for 18 years. I’ve had my husband for three years. He always wanted a cat and never had one.

Their love is strong and true, but obviously, the cat is slightly more attached to/familiar with me.

My husband loves that cat so much and gets a little bit of a thrill out of the idea that the cat loves us equally even though I had a 15-year head start.

What my husband doesn’t know is that I sometimes intentionally annoy the cat so that he will go snuggle with my husband instead, because it is so dang cute how giddy my husband gets about it.”

14. “She cried harder and thanked everyone and asked for a manager…”

“I work at a grocery store and a woman and her little girl went through with a cart full of groceries.

It was the first week of the month and she was using her EBT card. For some reason, it was declined and she started crying.

She thanked us for trying it a few times and she didn’t understand why it wasn’t working. It was payday and I didn’t make a whole lot as I was only a part-time worker.

However, I went over to the bank in the store and cashed my check. I went to our customer service desk where she was on the phone with the bank and gave it over quietly.

My coworker paid for the rest and we didn’t make it a big deal. She wasn’t paying attention and was just handed the receipt and told the lady to go home and enjoy the day, we took care of it.

She cried harder and thanked everyone and asked for a manager and was telling her little girl that this was a miracle.

We had to tell her to not get a manager because where I work giving money during your shift is grounds for suspension.

I will always remember her gratitude.”

15. “…I purposely drop pennies on the ground for her to find.”

“I secretly drop pennies. For many years, my Uncle used to bend down and pick up every penny he came across, which was maddening to my Aunt who was worried the neighbors would see him and assume they were poor, needing every penny the could find.

They used to tease each other about it.

My Uncle got cancer and passed away after a very long struggle.

After the funeral, we were walking to the car and my Aunt saw a penny, and said, ‘Oh John is thinking of me. He left this penny for me today.’

So whenever I am around my Aunt, I purposely drop pennies on the ground for her to find.

I haven’t been caught yet, and I hope I never do.”

16. “He told me how there was a bank error and someone deposited $3,000 into his bank account.”

“My best friend’s mom passed away from cancer four years ago on Easter Sunday. She was like a second mom to me.

She was very religious and always dreamed of going to Jerusalem.

When she passed away, my best friend became reckless and would try to drown his feelings in drinks and cover up the darkness inside him with the bright lights of clubs and women.

This went on for a couple years.

Eventually, my best friend hit beyond rock bottom to where he was living in his car with only a backpack of clothes and his mom’s ashes.

I let him stay with me and he turned his life around. He stopped going to bars. He started caring again.

He started saving money. He decided he would spread his mom’s ashes in Jerusalem.

Well, he got into a car accident last month and totaled his car.

Not his fault. Someone plowed through a red light. Medical bills and attorneys fees drained his savings.

But it’s okay. He told me how there was a bank error and someone deposited $3,000 into his bank account.

He’s all set to be in Jerusalem around Easter and my Hawaii trip was postponed.”

What’s the most wholesome thing you’ve done? It can be anything, really. Just something you did that was selfless and honorable.

And hey, if you don’t have a wholesome secret, there’s no time like the present to go out and create one!

Everybody needs some kindness in their lives, right?

The post 16 People Share Their Most Wholesome Secrets appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Doctors Share What They Wish Patients Knew About Their Bodies

When you go to the doctor, ask as many questions as possible. It’s your body, take charge of it!

In this AskReddit article, doctors share what they wish everyone knew about their bodies.

1. I did not know that!

“Ejaculating blood happens to most people at least once in their lives and in 99% of cases it resolves without taking any action within a week. It doesn’t even warrant a doctor visit.

Peeing blood (for both sexes) is a serious medical emergency and you should immediately go to the ER.

People think it’s the other way around.”

2. Good to know

“This one is more about medication:

Antibiotics only work against bacteria, they are not some kind of wonderpotion that cures anything, and they should not always be given

Please please stick to your prescription the doctor gives you. Even if you already feel better, dont just stop unless the doctor says you can stop. A lot of medication needs to be taken according to the prescription in order for it to be effective, because you build up the dosis to an effective level. Stopping or not sticking to it really decreases effectivity.”

3. Nothing to be embarrassed about

“That there is a wide range of ‘normal’. Don’t be embarrassed by your body. Having said that, if you are concerned about anything, ask your doctor. We have generally heard it all before, and trust me, we have (nearly always) seen it all before. Maybe you have something that has been bothering you for ages, but you were too scared or embarrassed to ask about it … Just ask! It might be ‘nothing’ and you have been stressing about it for no reason. And if not, then you are at least one step closer to getting it fixed. No one can help if they don’t know. There are no stupid questions, so ask away.

I’m always amazed when I have been asked about something that has been bothering a patient for years and years, but they were too embarrassed / scared to bring it up. Most of the time, it is nothing / a completely normal body function / feature. Other times, it is something that should have been discussed right away.

YOU know your body best. So speak up! Don’t wait for the doctor to “ask the right question”.”

4. No narcs

“Tell us what drugs and alcohol you’re on.

We aren’t gonna tell the cops. We aren’t gonna lecture you.

But it might change the anesthesia I give you. Some stuff I give you might kill you. If you drink a 30 pack a day, tell me.”

5. Doesn’t work that way

“Some people seem to think that if you act healthy for a bit, it’ll make up for being a wreck.

There are so many things wrong with this. Just one example – antioxidants are like gas for your car. You can store up a certain amount of vitamins, but your tank can only hold so much. If you binge and overfill your tank, it doesn’t do anything (you excrete it out as waste), and you can’t expect to go the next several months without gas just because you tried to overload it before. You’re going to still need to get gas. Same goes for your fruits and veggies.

Had someone tell me he went vegetarian for a few weeks, which meant he was done for the year. He was dead serious.

Had a patient at risk for heart failure try to insist that if she stayed away from salt entirely for x days/weeks, she should be able to have her fill of McDonald’s fries and ramen.

Had a smoker argue that if he stopped for some time, he should be able to smoke freely for a while. With some digging, “stopping” turned out to mean a couple less cigarettes a day.”

6. Get out there and move!

“You need some kind of exercise. Doesn’t matter how you feel right now, sitting for 12-16 hours a day will have negative consequences.”

7. BS

“Your kidneys and liver cheerfully do all the toxin elimination you’ll ever need. Cleanses and other “detoxifying” products are bullshit woo and a waste of money. The people who sell them are predators who only care about your money becoming theirs.”

8. Very serious

“Type 2 Diabetes is more serious than most people realize. I work as a doctor in hemodialysis and most of them are due to diabetic nephropathy. It also affects your eyes nerves immune system etc. Simple life changes can help you but noone seems to care. I even lost 9 kg myself because I had a family history of diabetes and to be healthy.”

9. Get it checked out

“How to check for skin cancer. If you see any moles or anything that are:

A – asymmetrical B – border (odd borders, like they’re jagged or something) C – Colour (different colours) D – Diameter (grows) E – Evolve (Well, evolves)

Go get it checked out. It might be skin cancer.”

10. Eat healthy

“How to eat healthy. Just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean you’re healthy. Especially the teenagers who I take care of. Sometimes I will ask them what’s a healthy food your doctor wants you to eat? Rarely do I get a right answer. I feel like the internet has so many fad diets, and family members rarely cook, so families don’t know basic nutrition facts.”

11. Some good tips

“-Antibiotics are not some magic cure for every pain in your body, nor for the flu or common cold.

-Never ever boil breast milk (in my country there is a popular belief that breast milk jaundice in newborns can be treated by boiling one’s breast milk – but by doing this you destroy all the nutrients and it basically becomes as nutritious as water is).

-Do not give honey to children below the age of 1.

-Do not rub your child with rubbing alcohol as to lower his fewer.

-Baby wipes don’t substitute daily baths/showers.

Yes, I am a pediatrician.”

12. Know your meds

“This is going to sound really basic, but i wish my patients would know what meds they are on when they come to the hospital. At least once a day comes somebody in who goes ” yeah i take 8 pills in the morning, 3 in the evening, and 4 at lunch but dont ask me which, youre a doctor, you should know”.

I beg of you, before going to a doctor that has never seen you before, write your meds, dosis and all on a piece of paper.”

13. Still might feel normal

“You often will feel normal even with high blood pressure. It’s often found incidentally. So don’t wait until it gives you symptoms you don’t want to go through.”

14. Very complex

“That the immune system is an incredibly complex and nuanced organization of cells that communicates readily to destroy anything deemed hostile within the body. It helps explain why vaccines are supposed to work, why allergies come and go, and why transfusions/transplants are hard to successfully pull off.”

15. The final word

“You only get one body. The way you treat it has a significantly higher impact in how your health will end up in a decade than what sort of interventions we can give you. You really should treat your body like a temple.”

The post 15 Doctors Share What They Wish Patients Knew About Their Bodies appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Reveal the Rudest Thing a Guest Has Done in Their Home

A good houseguest is respectful, keeps things relatively clean, and maybe offers to do the dishes. A not-so-good houseguest…well, here are 15 stories of what that looks like:

1. It’s a simple request

I’ve made this post before so I’ll just copy paste it here:

Not my house but my car. I don’t have many rules for passengers when I’m driving but there are two I will never budge on.
1: Wear your seat belt.
2: Do not smoke in my car.

I had just bought a car, it wasn’t brand new but I knew the previous (and only) owner and I knew he was a car guy who took meticulous care of his cars inside and out. He wouldn’t even sell me the car before he had given the engine a proper service. Within a week of getting the car a friend asked for a lift to the train station, I knew he smoked so as we walked to the car I told him specifically to wait until we get to the station before he lights up (a 10 minute ride at most).

I back out of the parking spot, drive to the exit of the parking lot and as I check my left hand side for oncoming cars I hear from my right the distinctive sound of a lighter sparking up. Dude could not even fucking wait until we were out of the fucking car park before he just had to have his goddamn cigarette. I ask him what the hell he thinks he’s doing and he just looks at me and says “Relax, it’s not like it’s a new car.” Fucker ended up walking to the train station.

2. I hope they paid the plumbing bill

my 10-year-old distant cousin unwrapped 3 new bars of soap and flushed them down the toilet on the 3rd floor of my house. That night, we returned from dinner to find water dripping from the ceiling on the first floor—the third floor bathroom had flooded and the water leaked through the floor, dripped from the ceiling of the second floor, and leaked though to the ceiling of the first floor. the whole mess cost thousands of dollars to repair.

the kid confessed everything with great glee and his mother just thought it was the funniest thing.

3. So disrespectful

When I was in university, one of roommates asked if a high school friend of his from back home could come visit and stay in our apartment for a night or two. I agreed, but I was writing midterms and was stressed beyond belief so I firmly requested that they not party at our place so that I could get to sleep uninterrupted.

I came home from the library at 11pm and they were both shitfaced. My roommate was passed out in his bedroom, there was rank-smelling puke all over the toilet seat, and his friend had brought a girl home from the campus bar and was currently having sex in my bed. WTF.

I kicked his (and her) asses out of the apartment, and then ended up doing laundry at 11:30pm because my sheets were sweaty and covered in their fuck-juices.

I no longer speak with this roommate.

4. Who does that?

I had a collection of 1$ casino chips, one from every casino I had been to. A housemate invites some people over and a guy sees them sitting somewhere and starts playing with them. I figure the guy likes to fidget so it’s no big deal. Guy ended up taking a bunch a mismatched casino chips and even apparently tried buying a drink at the bar with them. Luckily one of the other guys he went out with got them back to me but seriously? Who does that?

5. How not to handle an accident

My cousin and her daughter, who has down syndrome, were visiting and staying with me in my home. Her kid pooped in a quilt, and for some reason my cousin rolled it up and shoved it in the closet in the guest room without telling me.

I discovered it after they left (it was rolled up pretty good so I didn’t smell it immediately) because my dog stood in front of the closet and barked nonstop until I came and found it…She was so offended by it and didn’t stop barking until it was completely cleaned up, haha.

Edit: I called her and said, “I found the quilt from your bed rolled up with poop in the closet…what happened?” And she said, “Oh, daughter had an accident. Sorry!”

6. Why?

I let a guy I knew from college crash at my place for a few days when he was in town for a conference. Fed him, drank a bunch of liquor with him, etc. Thought I was being very hospitable. He had an early flight so on the last day he left before I woke up. Went into my bathroom and saw he had taken my bar of soap and written some stupid song lyrics all over my bathroom mirror. This was the master bathroom so it had two sinks and the mirror was like 8 ft by 4 ft at least. It was huge letters and there was more soap than mirror. Took me hours to get it clean. Like what the fuck dude.

7. Three weeks of drama

We had two couples come to stay with us from overseas and one of the couples spent the entire time arguing and getting into massive fights. This included screaming, crying, slamming doors, sulking, the works. For three weeks. It was the longest three weeks of my life.

8. True friends

Stole $100. But this story has a happy ending.

When I was young I had three friends over, all of them brothers. The oldest was my age, the middle was a couple years younger (same age as my brother), and they had brought their youngest brother with them. He was a little bitch.

Well that day my dad let me hang onto a $100 bill because I thought it was cool and had never seen one. I showed it off to my friends and left it on my side table. I didn’t even notice it go missing.

Well, here’s how the story goes. My friends had left, and when they got near their house, the youngest brother pulled out the $100 and said “hey guys, look what I took.” The two older brothers got pissed. They dragged him crying all the way back to my house, handed me the $100 that I hadn’t even realized was missing, and forced him to apologize. Friends of integrity right there.

9. Who dyes their hair at someone else’s house?

My really close friend brought his now ex girlfriend that was super controlling over while me and a few other friends were hanging out, about thirty minutes in she decided that she is going to go into my super white bathroom and dye her hair black, not only this but if you’ve never dyed your hair before you must rinse your hair out to get excess dye out. She ended up staining my white counters, bath tub/ shower, floor, two decorative towels, my carpet outside the bathroom and my toilet. I was so irate and I don’t think she understood that you do not do this shit in someone else’s house without asking them. Literally everyone that was over including me told her to get her now just showered naked ass out of my house. I was so done because she just stained soooooo much shit that will not come out easy. It makes my blood boil thinking about it now.

10. I would just burn it

My boyfriend invited a couple dudes over while I was at work because we only have a 1 bedroom apartment and I don’t always enjoy sitting there watching them game. It was considerate. Anyways, he was asleep and they were gone when I got home since I work 3rd shift. I noticed my new bathroom mat was discolored and assumed it was from shoes and didn’t closely observe. Anyways, I made him look at it with me when he got up because I was a bit mad since it was brand new. Upon further observation, we came to the conclusion that before leaving, his friend wiped shit all over my new bathroom mat. It turned out to be brown finger streaks across the whole thing! Threw that out immediately. The toilet paper was readily available BTW… They are not allowed in the apartment anymore, and it was weird because they weren’t on bad terms they actually wanted to hang out again.

11. Not for sitting

we had a party at our house. Guests ended up using the bathroom in our bedroom as well because of lines on the guest toilet. We have (had) one of those “only attached to the wall and no legs to support” sinks on top of a slim long shelf kinda thing. They sat on the damn thing and broke it. I was beyond belief how someone could sit on something that looks, feels and very obviously shows it is not made to carry weight and is not supported.

Now it has legs…

12. Always clear the browser history

Oh i forgot this one! A friend of a relative stayed with my parents for a week, the guy was Argentinian, late 50s. He was very old fashioned, religious etc, for example, he even told my parents that it was wrong that i was living with my boyfriend without being married.

One day he asked my mum to use her PC “to check his email” was in there for quite a while, riiiight.. You guessed it, he was watching porn, but i guess he didn’t remember the website he wanted because he first googled in Spanish “young ladies with dark hair having sex” and a few variations of that. My mum found all that in her Internet history, called him out, he tried to blame my (then 16 year old) brother, who had his own PC, speaks mostly English (wouldn’t have googled in spanish) and was away in a camping trip

He wasn’t welcomed back.

13. At least there was no meth

I was going to post about the time I was really angered by friends of friends staying and emptying our bar fridge (it was fully stocked with beer), emptying the wine fridge (also stocked), and a random bottle of bailey’s (none of these things go together?!? Heathens) and not offering to replace any of it, while making themselves completely at home and even inviting guests over to view “their place.” But in reading these, I’m starting to feel much better that no meth was involved – maybe it’s time for me to let that grudge go.

14. So. Gross.

My grandfather’s cousin was staying with us a for a week; he has a bladder problem and would refuse to wear adult diapers! What followed was him leaving a trail of pee (sometimes poo), when he walked around the house… didn’t take too long for my mother to ask his son to take him back home.

15. Poor kiddo

I was babysitting my neighbours daughter. My neighbour was supposed to pick up the girl hours before and didn’t answer any of my messages prior. I got the living room ready just in case if she was gonna stay the night. It was close to midnight and he finally came to pick her up. The dad ranged the bell and when I answered the door he was sooo wasted. He barged in and walked past me to go to kitchen and everything that was in his grasp, he literally destroyed. He went to the fridge and drank juice straight from the carton. He then walked back to the living room where his daughter was, then was spewing random shit to her and mid sentence he vomited all over my couch and passed out after.

EDIT: For those of you asking;

Yes he did apologize and paid to clean the couch.

The daughter at that time just started first grade, so she was probably 6 or 7. She’s very smart, so she was aware of what was going on.

Did I call CPS? Yes. He turned out to be an alcoholic and it wasn’t the first time he has done this.

The post 15 People Reveal the Rudest Thing a Guest Has Done in Their Home appeared first on UberFacts.

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10+ Times Propaganda Was so Successful, People Still Believe It Today

This question was asked on Reddit: Which propaganda effort was so successful, people still believe it today?

Over 22,000 comments later, we’ve got 13 gems to share.

Enjoy!

13. Hot coffee

That the old woman who sued McDonald’s over burning herself with her coffee was just money hungry

For clarity: an elderly woman was a passenger in a car, pulled over in the lot to add sugar after getting a coffee and it spilled all over her lap. It burned her really bad and she just set out to get McDonald’s to pay her hospital bills bc they served the coffee way too hot.

They ended up launching this whole PR campaign where they smeared this poor lady, even taking out spots in local papers over how silly and money hungry she was.

Comedians, musicians, and radio hosts made fun of her and made her out to be money hungry instead of a victim.

12. That dandelions are weeds.

I recently discovered that these pretty yellow flowers were re-classified as weeds because of lawn culture and some successful marketing by herbicide companies.

Dandelions have been used in food and medicine for centuries.

11. Lie detector tests are accurate.

They’re junk science at best.

People, when the inventor of the device and procedures used is on record saying it’s crap, we should probably listen.

Looking at you, Florida, for allowing LD test results as evidence in court.

10. Jewish myths

I am from Germany and some of my grandparents still believe the stuff they were told about Jews by the Nazis.

Like when a jewish person dies on a christian holiday they get hung behind the door and everyone who comes in has to spit on him.

It’s some vile stuff. I can’t believe how they were spoon fed with this in their early years.

Another one I remember is that they were told that at a jewish funeral, the dead person gets a stone put in their pocket, so if they cross Jesus in the afterlife they can throw it at him.

9. Cleopatra

Cleoptra was a slut who became powerful only by sex appeal.

Contemporary and unbiased sources actually suggest she was rather plain, but it was her intellect and charming conversation that got her power. Also, as far as sexual relations go, her affairs with Julius Caesar and Antony, as well as her traditional marriages to her brothers, aren’t bad compared to the well-known affairs of some other figures, especially Antony.

Defaming Cleopatra made her easier to demonize and portray as a seductress ruling over Antony, making war easier for Octavian.

8. Drinking fountains are unhealthy.

The bottled beverage industry commissioned and publicized a series of studies in the early 1990s when they decided to get into the bottled water business. The problem was that their largest competitor was free and available in schools, parks, and public buildings everywhere.

Anyone who took even a semester of biology knows that if you walk around and swab and culture anything, you’ll find that it’s covered in bacteria. That’s ecology on planet Earth.

7. Not a fan of fans

Many Korean people believe that fans can cause death.

Even my mother, who moved to America in her mid teens, still prohibits me from leaving a fan on overnight for fear of death. There is a conspiracy theory that the South Korean government spread this myth as propaganda to prevent energy overusage, but it’s origins are unknown.

It’s strange that many Koreans believe this myth considering it is one of the most technologically advanced countries.

6. The whitest teeth

People should know that a healthy set of teeth doesn’t mean they’re perfectly white. Super white teeth are not even normal.

Our enamel will slowly become more translucent as we age, revealing the colour of the dentin (which is yellow) underneath it.

Thats why as we get older, our teeth will become yellower.

Doesn’t mean they’re not healthy or unclean.

5. Carrots make your vision better

This rumour was started in WW2 to hide the invention of RADAR.

The public was told that allied pilots found the German bombers during the blitz because they had good eyesight because they ate their carrots.

But in reality it was that the British had an early RADAR system in place that they did not want the Germans to find out about and bomb.

4. The MSG myth

MSG will kill you and is horrible to ingest, “I’m allergic to MSG”

Really, it is delicious and your body produces it naturally while breaking down regular salt.

Some people do have sodium issues, and it may not be good for them. But that’s a tiny micro-percentage of people.

3. Autism and vaccines

Andrew Wakefield, a former gastroenterologist and the man responsible for this anti-vax shit show, originally wanted to prove that vaccines were responsible for bowel disease as well as linking it to autism.

He was put through a tribunal by the GMC, it was found that not only had he lied about his research, but was found to have committed 12 acts of abuse against developmentally disabled children after he put them through unnecessary and invasive procedures.

To try and prove that vaccines were responsible for autism and bowel disease, he put young children through unnecessary colonoscopies and lumbar punctures (spinal taps).

He was struck off from the Medical Register and is no longer allowed to practice medicine. He continues to make a living promoting and speaking at anti-vaccine propaganda events. People should remember that. Anti-vaxers are looking to an abuser found to have put developmentally disabled children through unnecessary medical procedures for advice.

Let’s not understate how much of a piece of shit the man is.

2. Don’t cop to it…

That if you ask if someone is a cop, if they are a cop they legally are required to say yes they are.

Of course they aren’t required to, that defeats the entire purpose of working undercover!

1. The lie that nuclear power is terrible.

It is worse than renewables, however instead of chucking huge quantities of dangerous waste into the air like a coal power plant, it can all be contained, and 95% can be reprocessed into new fuel. In the 60s and 70s, a lot of oil giants used advertising to link it’s reputation to the very real danger of nuclear weapons, and if this hadn’t have happened, global warming would have been much less of an issue. Very few people realise that coal power actually causes more deaths per MW than nuclear power due to nitrous oxide emissions, even when Chenoble is included in the statistics.

Edit: A lot of people are saying that nuclear is as good, or possibly better than renewables. I agree that at the moment, for baseline power, it is better, and we should be using it a lot more. In the long term though, I think that renewable are a better solution due to not needing refueling, and needing less oversight (once production of the power plants themselves becomes cleaner and better storage solutions are devised).

What are some myths you’ve believed in the past?

Have you ever tried to question your own beliefs?

Do tell!

The post 10+ Times Propaganda Was so Successful, People Still Believe It Today appeared first on UberFacts.

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10+ Times Propaganda Was so Successful, People Still Believe It Today

This question was asked on Reddit: Which propaganda effort was so successful, people still believe it today?

Over 22,000 comments later, we’ve got 13 gems to share.

Enjoy!

13. Hot coffee

That the old woman who sued McDonald’s over burning herself with her coffee was just money hungry

For clarity: an elderly woman was a passenger in a car, pulled over in the lot to add sugar after getting a coffee and it spilled all over her lap. It burned her really bad and she just set out to get McDonald’s to pay her hospital bills bc they served the coffee way too hot.

They ended up launching this whole PR campaign where they smeared this poor lady, even taking out spots in local papers over how silly and money hungry she was.

Comedians, musicians, and radio hosts made fun of her and made her out to be money hungry instead of a victim.

12. That dandelions are weeds.

I recently discovered that these pretty yellow flowers were re-classified as weeds because of lawn culture and some successful marketing by herbicide companies.

Dandelions have been used in food and medicine for centuries.

11. Lie detector tests are accurate.

They’re junk science at best.

People, when the inventor of the device and procedures used is on record saying it’s crap, we should probably listen.

Looking at you, Florida, for allowing LD test results as evidence in court.

10. Jewish myths

I am from Germany and some of my grandparents still believe the stuff they were told about Jews by the Nazis.

Like when a jewish person dies on a christian holiday they get hung behind the door and everyone who comes in has to spit on him.

It’s some vile stuff. I can’t believe how they were spoon fed with this in their early years.

Another one I remember is that they were told that at a jewish funeral, the dead person gets a stone put in their pocket, so if they cross Jesus in the afterlife they can throw it at him.

9. Cleopatra

Cleoptra was a slut who became powerful only by sex appeal.

Contemporary and unbiased sources actually suggest she was rather plain, but it was her intellect and charming conversation that got her power. Also, as far as sexual relations go, her affairs with Julius Caesar and Antony, as well as her traditional marriages to her brothers, aren’t bad compared to the well-known affairs of some other figures, especially Antony.

Defaming Cleopatra made her easier to demonize and portray as a seductress ruling over Antony, making war easier for Octavian.

8. Drinking fountains are unhealthy.

The bottled beverage industry commissioned and publicized a series of studies in the early 1990s when they decided to get into the bottled water business. The problem was that their largest competitor was free and available in schools, parks, and public buildings everywhere.

Anyone who took even a semester of biology knows that if you walk around and swab and culture anything, you’ll find that it’s covered in bacteria. That’s ecology on planet Earth.

7. Not a fan of fans

Many Korean people believe that fans can cause death.

Even my mother, who moved to America in her mid teens, still prohibits me from leaving a fan on overnight for fear of death. There is a conspiracy theory that the South Korean government spread this myth as propaganda to prevent energy overusage, but it’s origins are unknown.

It’s strange that many Koreans believe this myth considering it is one of the most technologically advanced countries.

6. The whitest teeth

People should know that a healthy set of teeth doesn’t mean they’re perfectly white. Super white teeth are not even normal.

Our enamel will slowly become more translucent as we age, revealing the colour of the dentin (which is yellow) underneath it.

Thats why as we get older, our teeth will become yellower.

Doesn’t mean they’re not healthy or unclean.

5. Carrots make your vision better

This rumour was started in WW2 to hide the invention of RADAR.

The public was told that allied pilots found the German bombers during the blitz because they had good eyesight because they ate their carrots.

But in reality it was that the British had an early RADAR system in place that they did not want the Germans to find out about and bomb.

4. The MSG myth

MSG will kill you and is horrible to ingest, “I’m allergic to MSG”

Really, it is delicious and your body produces it naturally while breaking down regular salt.

Some people do have sodium issues, and it may not be good for them. But that’s a tiny micro-percentage of people.

3. Autism and vaccines

Andrew Wakefield, a former gastroenterologist and the man responsible for this anti-vax shit show, originally wanted to prove that vaccines were responsible for bowel disease as well as linking it to autism.

He was put through a tribunal by the GMC, it was found that not only had he lied about his research, but was found to have committed 12 acts of abuse against developmentally disabled children after he put them through unnecessary and invasive procedures.

To try and prove that vaccines were responsible for autism and bowel disease, he put young children through unnecessary colonoscopies and lumbar punctures (spinal taps).

He was struck off from the Medical Register and is no longer allowed to practice medicine. He continues to make a living promoting and speaking at anti-vaccine propaganda events. People should remember that. Anti-vaxers are looking to an abuser found to have put developmentally disabled children through unnecessary medical procedures for advice.

Let’s not understate how much of a piece of shit the man is.

2. Don’t cop to it…

That if you ask if someone is a cop, if they are a cop they legally are required to say yes they are.

Of course they aren’t required to, that defeats the entire purpose of working undercover!

1. The lie that nuclear power is terrible.

It is worse than renewables, however instead of chucking huge quantities of dangerous waste into the air like a coal power plant, it can all be contained, and 95% can be reprocessed into new fuel. In the 60s and 70s, a lot of oil giants used advertising to link it’s reputation to the very real danger of nuclear weapons, and if this hadn’t have happened, global warming would have been much less of an issue. Very few people realise that coal power actually causes more deaths per MW than nuclear power due to nitrous oxide emissions, even when Chenoble is included in the statistics.

Edit: A lot of people are saying that nuclear is as good, or possibly better than renewables. I agree that at the moment, for baseline power, it is better, and we should be using it a lot more. In the long term though, I think that renewable are a better solution due to not needing refueling, and needing less oversight (once production of the power plants themselves becomes cleaner and better storage solutions are devised).

What are some myths you’ve believed in the past?

Have you ever tried to question your own beliefs?

Do tell!

The post 10+ Times Propaganda Was so Successful, People Still Believe It Today appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Crazy Rules They Followed When They Were Kids

The question posed on Reddit was: “What’s the weirdest rule you had in your home growing up?”

And after reading the responses… here’s the follow up question: What the fuck is wrong with people?

Plenty apparently, because these 13 people share insane rules they had to follow when they were growing up. And some of them are rules they put on themselves… because people are dumb.

Get ready for some craziness!

13. Dumb brother is dumb.

“My dad made up this rule to stop my big brother from asking about getting a dog every 10 seconds.

We had neighbors on both sides who already had dogs, so the rule was that only every OTHER house could have a dog.

My brother believed it for a LONG time.”

12. Salty…

“Salt was for guests only.

The actual use of spices was VERY looked down on in my house and was seen as a huge insult to my mom and dad, even though they were absolutely horrid cooks.”

11. Liquid sex…

“I couldn’t recline or lay my body down AT ALL if my boyfriend was over.

My mom thought that me laying down would give them ‘thoughts,’ so I couldn’t do it.

Once I put my feet up on the couch while my FIANCÉ was over and my mom got pissed because she thought I was ‘trying to turn him on.’”

10. When you go to prison…

“I wasn’t allowed to put sugar in my tea because my mum told me that ‘when you go to prison they don’t let you have sugar, so it will make prison that much harder.’

1. Thanks for having so much faith in me, mum.

2. I’m pretty sure you are allowed sugar for your tea in prison.”

9. Diverticulosis SUCKS

“My dad had diverticulosis (pockets in the intestine) and couldn’t eat sesame seeds (among other things).

So, when we would eat fast food sandwiches, everyone HAD to give their bottom buns to Dad, in exchange for his top buns.

However, this reasoning was never explained and it was this way from before I born, so it was LITERALLY when I was in college that I realized that it wasn’t normal. I thought it was just ‘Dad Privilege’ to have two bottom buns.”

8. No pizza-balling!

“At my friend’s house they had a ‘no pizza-balling’ rule.

There were three teenage brothers living there, and when they ordered pizzas, tempers flared quickly when someone would try to grab as many slices as they could. The first rule in place was that you couldn’t have more than one slice at a time, and you could grab another once you had the last bite in your mouth. Anyway, one of the brothers quickly figured it out that if you ball up a slice he could fit it in his mouth and grab another one.

Hence the ‘no pizza-balling’ rule.”

7. She timed you?!?

“I could only buy things if I was buying them for a birthday or Christmas gift for somebody else.

Mind you, this was my OWN money I earned from my OWN job.

My mom knew exactly how long it took me to get home from school, so if I stopped at the store she knew, and I’d be in trouble.”

6. Pronoun probs

“My parents acted like referring to them as ‘he’ or ‘she’ while they were in the room was the equivalent of saying ‘fuck you.”

So referring to my parents with pronouns was, effectively, not allowed.”

5. Backdoor blues…

“We were not allowed to use the front door. Ever.

There was a metal screen on it with a deadbolt that needed a key for either side.

My stepdad kept the key and even visitors had to go to the back through the side gate.”

4. What happens to stupid people when they get older?

“When my dad would get home from work, my friend would have to go home. His parents told him that because that meant it was dinnertime and therefore he should come home.

However, him being a child, didn’t grasp that portion of the rule. He only understood ‘come home when the dad gets home.’ This translated in my friend being terrified of my father.

If he saw my dad turning into the driveway, he would drop whatever we were doing and sprint home.”

3. High hats…

“I wasn’t allowed to wear my hat backwards because my dad thought that it was a gang thing.

Mind you, this was in rural Wisconsin in the ’90s.

My parents are wonderful people, they just may not have had the best understanding of the world at that time.”

2. The candy trick

“My mom had me believing the Great Pumpkin from the classic It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown special existed.

The rules of Halloween were that I could only pick 10 candies from my trick-or-treat bag and the rest had to be ‘given to the Great Pumpkin.’

In reality, the ‘Great Pumpkin’ was my dad’s work cubicle.”

1. More towels!!!

“We were only allowed one clean towel a week.

We could do whatever we wanted with it, but we didn’t get another clean one until the next week.”

Note to self…

…gotta use that Great Pumpkin trick when I have kids…

The post People Share the Crazy Rules They Followed When They Were Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

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20+ Times Things Got Really Weird with Complete Strangers

Meeting new people can be a fun part of life. But for some folks it can be cringey AF because they’re just so damn awkward and they make every situation they’re in that way.

Yeah, don’t blame the strangers. Blame your own damn self!

Let’s get real, y’all!

1. The vomit comet

When I was about 13, I went on a school trip which included a boat ride.

It was a windy day and the sea was rough, so like most of my friends, I got extremely seasick. The toilets were full of puking school kids so when it was my turn to churn I found a space along the rail and let loose.

I aimed down at the sea but the wind whipped my vomit about 20 feet over to a middle-aged man who was enjoying the sea air. As I watched in horror, he registered that he was being spattered with something, but it was only when my second wave hit that our eyes met and I saw his face change from confusion to horror.

I had no words, just more vomit, so he hurried off, presumably to clean himself. Thankfully, I didn’t see him again; but I’m sure I ruined his day.

2. Wait… what?!? DAD!!!

Once, when I was about 10, I got in the passenger side of what I thought was my dad’s car.

I was waiting for a few minutes and then the real owner of the car came. At first, I was terrified that he was going to kidnap me and steal the car, so I started scrambling for the door handle. Then he started yelling at me for being in his car. That’s when I realized I was in the wrong car and booked it back to the store, where my dad was waiting and laughing hysterically.

He saw me get in the wrong car and just waited to watch it play out.

3. Yeah, race isn’t a good conversation starter…

I worked security at an aquatic theme park and was watching Jeopardy in the employee entrance. One of the veterinarians came through and watched it with me for a bit. He said he watched it religiously and was hoping to get selected as a contestant. He’d heard that they like to have a diverse group of contestants, and they hadn’t had a black guy for a while, so he liked his chances.

A few days later, there were two black contestants on the show, so when I saw him the next time, I asked:

“Hey, did you catch Jeopardy last week?”

“No, why?” he responded.

“There were two black guys on it,” I explained.

He just stared at me blankly for a few seconds, then walked off. That’s when I realized I was talking to a completely different gentleman.

4. Abort hug! ABORT!

I went to a new doctor years ago because the medicine I was taking to help quit an addiction of mine was making me very sick.

After meeting with her and having a great conversation about how she also struggled with the same addiction for years, our appointment came to an end.

As I was leaving the room and opened the door, I turned around to thank her for the encouraging words. Her arm was raised up in a “gimme a hug, not a handshake” position. I thought, okay sure, and went in for the hug.

As soon as I did, I heard her say, “Oh, okay?” in a puzzled tone and immediately realized she was reaching for the door behind me, not asking for a hug.

I aborted the hug which made me look more awkward and raced out of the doctor’s office as fast as I could.

5. TBH… this is fucking hilarious!

My dad loves buying clothes for me but he’s bad at guessing my size.

He’ll find a complete stranger that he thinks looks like me and have them try the stuff on. Then he’ll take their picture and send it to me.

It’s super weird and I can’t get him to realize how creepy it is.

My favorite pics he’s sent is a five-year-old wearing a hat (we had the same hair color) and a scared looking older woman wearing a coat (we were the same height).

6. Stealing a fist bump…

I thought some random guy was trying to give me a fist bump while walking down the street.

It turned out, he just was trying to scratch his nose. I just got an awkward high five and fist bump thing.

I avoided all eye contact after that and slowly shuffled back to my grandmother.

7. SLAP! Oh shiiiiiii…

I played this game with some buddies in college where we would slap each other’s necks really hard.

I saw my friend studying at the library, went from behind him and slapped him really hard.

It turned out to be some total stranger and not my friend! I almost went #2 in my pants and so did the other guy.

8. Speechless…

One time, I was driving around town with my friend when I noticed I was being followed by an older car. I made several left turns that eventually made us go in a big circle, to which he followed. At this point, I was getting nervous, so I pulled into a convenience store and turned around. He did the same exact thing.

After this, I decided I’d pull into the closest business and go inside. I pulled into a shop where I knew the owner and walked in with my friend. The stranger followed us in, looked around a bit and said, “My soul is saved… Is yours?”

At that point, my friend, the owner and I were all speechless. The stranger then stared at us, calmly walked back to his car and drove away. I’ve never been so confused in my life.

9. Sores

I worked at a hotel front desk. An old, maybe 75-year-old lady called the front desk and wanted a pillow delivered to her room. When I got there with the pillow, she wanted me to come inside. I’m like “Uh no, here is your pillow,” but she insisted, so I did.

I got inside and she shut the door. She told me to put the pillow on the bed, then went to a drawer in her dresser. At this time I was like, “I need to return to the front desk,” thinking the worst.

She proceeded to pull out a box of bandaids and wanted me to put them on the open sores on her feet.

I noped out of there as fast as I could and left before she came down for morning breakfast.

10. Behind you…

I was standing behind this guy waiting for the elevator in a hotel. We were down in the lobby and it was busy with lots of people coming and going, so he obviously hadn’t noticed me. Once the elevator doors opened, he got in, but he still didn’t see me walk past him on the other side. As SOON as the doors closed, while obviously still under the impression that he was alone, he let out this heinous flatulence that went on for about ten seconds.

Midway through, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted me standing just behind him. The poor guy almost jumped out of his skin. He was staring at me as if he’d just seen a ghost. I was staring at him with what I can only assume was a fairly horrified expression.

11. Toe virgin

The first time I went to get a pedicure, I went with my mother-in-law. She’s a very loud woman who often doesn’t understand what she’s saying.

She kept screaming at the pedicurist, “BE GENTLE WITH HER, SHE’S A TOE VIRGIN. SHE’S A TOE VIRGIN. DON’T POUND HER.”

God help me, I will never go back.

12. Walmart is always weird…

An old man behind me in a Walmart checkout called out a common nickname of mine. I turned to face him and didn’t immediately recognize him. He was gushing with tears in his eyes about how much he loved me and how he couldn’t wait to go home with me.

I asked him if it was possible he had me confused with a different person. The guy’s tears started falling, and he began choking apologies through sobs. Apparently, I was a dead ringer for his long-dead wife.

Combine that and the dementia setting in and presto, Walmart meltdown.

13. Beardfinger!

I did something awkward at work.

There was a guy who came in with his kids and had a big bushy beard. He came up to the cash register and asked me where to find an item. I was a little overenthusiastic I suppose because I stuck my fingers out straight ahead to point him in the right direction and they went straight into his beard!

I felt like I had assaulted him, but luckily we laughed it off.

14. Too many feelings…

One time, I was in a sporting goods store at the mall. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shirt with a really cool design and fabric.

I started feeling the fabric to see how warm it would be, when all of a sudden I heard, “Dude. What’re you doing.” I looked up and it wasn’t a mannequin. It was a man.

My eyes grew wide and I fled. Left the mall even.

15. Hey, a compliment is a compliment!

I got on an elevator with a woman and she had on these really nice boots on, so I complimented them by saying, “Nice boots.”

She cupped her breasts and said, “Well, you’re not shy; thank you, they’re real.” Then I immediately realized I said she thought I said, “Nice boobs.”

Longest elevator ride ever.

To this day, whenever I say boots in any context, I do so with a very hard deliberate “T.”

16. Oh hai!

I hooked up with a guy in college and fell asleep in his dorm room.

I woke up in the middle of the night needing to go #1 so badly but I was unable to find any of my clothes right away. I ended up spending so long trying to find them in the dark that by the time I had enough to wear out in the hall, I didn’t think I’d make it.

He was still sleeping, so I grabbed a big reusable water bottle and squatted over it. It was blissful relief until I looked over and saw his roommate staring at me in horror.

17. 7/11 moves…

I tried to make some moves on a girl when I was in high school.

We were in a 7/11 near the back, and because of the late hour, I figured we were alone. When she turned me down and left, I decided to drown my sorrows with a bag of Sour Patch Kids and physically ran into the older, bearded man who had been buying nuts.

He gave me a sympathetic look and opened his mouth as if to say something, and I panicked. I said, “See you tomorrow!” and left the store.

18. Yeah, and….

The first time I hung out with a girl I knew from a bar, I paid for dinner because she had comped me so many cocktails before.

She took that as a sign that I wanted to hook up with her and I got really uncomfortable.

I ended up apologizing for buying dinner.

19. Donut judge me!

I was at the grocery store with my wife and when we were passing the donut section I said, “I’m going to humiliate those donuts.”

I knew it was something that would make her laugh.

When I said it, I turned around and saw that there was a woman in line who was not my wife.

She didn’t laugh.

20. Well, this worked out tho…

When I was in college, I was waiting for a shuttle bus and a girl I had previously been in a class with walked up to the stop with a guy I didn’t know.

I said to her, “Hi, how are you,” and we had a short exchange of pleasantries. Then she turned to the guy next to her and in sign language said: “I don’t remember her name.”

So I sign, “That’s okay, I don’t remember your name either.” I then offered my hand to the guy with her and introduced myself.

21. Oh you want some of this…?

I took an Uber once where the driver obviously stopped at McDonald’s on his way to get me and had the bag on the passenger seat.

He kept munching on fries and my desire for them grew so much that I asked him if I could have some. I wish this was a love story and I wish I could tell you we shared his fries and are still great friends to this day, but I cannot.

He gave me a firm no and kept on driving.

22. Ya best leave them alone…

I was at a bar bathroom in a stall doing illicit drugs with a friend and he started talking about the two hot chicks at the bar.

All of a sudden, we heard a guy say, “Are you talking about the two girls at the bar?” My friend said, “Yeah, they’re hot.” He responded, ‘Well, one’s my sister and the other’s, my girlfriend.”

We tiptoed out of there as he was finishing his business in his stall.

23. What a jerk off…

Had to use a public restroom and the guy in the stall next to me forgot to lower the volume (or put his headphones in) and I heard the jingle from a very specific company that makes animated adult entertainment.

The person quickly made sure the video was no longer audible for me but it was too late, I knew what he was going to do. I don’t think he knew that I knew what he was watching, but to have to sit there waiting for my body to clean itself out while knowing that he was watching animated adult videos in the stall next to me made me nervous as all hell.

Hey, nice boots! ???

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