Category: abuse

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A Woman Shared Her Ex’s Text Messages to Show How Abusers Act Behind Closed Doors

When people who survive abuse open up about their experiences, confused folks often wonder: “Why didn’t you just leave?” But escaping from an abusive situation is never that simple. It’s a tangled, terrifying web of threats and intimidation, and it’s usually carefully hidden from others. Bystanders often have no idea just how bad things have gotten.

One woman shared screenshots of her abusive ex-husband’s text messages to show exactly what it’s like on the inside of an abusive relationship. Kristy is, thankfully, no longer with her ex, Adam.

First, he’d frequently send her a barrage of paranoid texts while she was on shift at work, despite the fact that she wasn’t allowed to have her phone while on the clock.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Another text shows Adam questioning her about her coworker, Tony, who committed the cardinal sin of changing her tire once.

Photo Credit: Imgur

And the third text shows that he literally set traps for her so that he’d know whether she slept at home or not. She was at a female friend’s house that night.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Adam also physically abused Kristy, then warned her not to tell her family members about it despite the fact that they could see the bruises on the rare occasions when they got to see Kristy.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Adam was so controlling and paranoid that he made Kristy take photos to prove that she wasn’t lying about her location.

Photo Credit: Imgur

He also made her step out at midnight every night to call her, And though she did her best to comply with his outlandish demands, he still berated her and told her not to come back to their home state.

Adam wasn’t always this way. He used to be kind and loving, Kristy says, until she lost weight and got a job. Then the abuse began.

“I finally got the guts to leave when he hurt my dog and kitten,” she explained. “3 years later and I’m actually doing great… I save these text messages to remind myself how far I’ve come.”

We support you Kristy. And anyone whose having trouble in an abusive relationship, just know that there are resources that you can rely on, and people who want to help you.

The post A Woman Shared Her Ex’s Text Messages to Show How Abusers Act Behind Closed Doors appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Memorial in Turkey Commemorates the Women Killed by Their Husbands Last Year

Violence against women is an epidemic worldwide, but in some countries, it’s more extreme than others. In Turkey, for example, 42% of women over the age of 15 have suffered from physical or sexual violence.

Last year in Turkey, 440 women were murdered by their own husbands. An artist decided to come up with a powerful memorial to pay tribute to the murdered women and to bring awareness to the problem in his country.

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#KahveDünyası’nın 2017 yılında hayata geçirdiği sanat platformu #Yanköşe, dördüncü edisyonunda #VahitTuna’nın “#İsimsiz” adlı çalışmasını ağırlıyor. 440 çift siyah kadın ayakkabısından oluşan “İsimsiz” projesinin çıkış noktası, Türkiye’de sayıları gitgide artan kadın cinayetleri. 2018 yılında Türkiye’de erkekler tarafından çeşitli şekillerde ve sebeplerle öldürülen kadınların sayısına işaret eden ve Yanköşe’nin her iki duvarını da nizami bir şekilde kaplayan 440 çift ayakkabı, neredeyse bir tür soykırım ya da kadınkırım anıtı gibi yükseliyor. Ölen kişilerin ayakkabılarının evlerinin kapısının önüne bırakılması geleneğine de işaret eden çalışma, kadına yönelik şiddetin hafızasını tutarak sokağa taşıyor; kamusal bir tartışma ve bilinçlenme için bir aracı olma görevi üstleniyor. Sanat üretiminde iktidar, iktidarla hesaplaşma ve ona göre pozisyon alma konularına odaklanan Tuna, bugün her üç kadından birinin fiziksel ya da cinsel şiddet mağduru olduğu bir dünyada şiddetin, özellikle de bu coğrafyaya ait şiddet olgusunun temellerine bakıyor. • ℹDaha detaylı bilgi için yankose.org adresini ziyaret edebilirsiniz. • • • Daha fazlası için ? @ajans.isleri • • • #ajansisleri #arts #creative # #staj #stajyer #seo #AdAgency #reklam #stratejist #arayüztasarımcısı #stajyer #markatemsilcisi #MarkaYöneticisi #ArtDirector #DijitalAjans #DijitalReklamcılık #ReklamAjansı #Advertising #Agency #DigitalAdvertising #grafiktasarım #socialmedia #dijitalajans

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Vahit Tuna said he had seen a lot of posts about the Turkish problem on social media, but he also realized that the stories came and went with a disturbing quickness. Tuna was determined to keep the issue in the public eye somehow.

Tuna chose to use 440 pairs of high heels in his memorial as a sign of female empowerment and independence that he sadly wishes was more of a reality in Turkey. In some parts of Turkey, it’s a tradition to put a person’s shoes outside after they pass away, so the memorial has even more cultural significance in the country.

The memorial is set up in central Istanbul so it will be seen by many people in the busy city. Tuna said, “We wanted everyone passing by the road to see [the work]. This is why we did not want to host the exhibition in a closed area.”

The 440 pairs of shoes are set to remain on exhibit for six months. Hopefully, as many people as possible will see the memorial and it will spark some painful and necessary conversations in Turkey.

The post A Memorial in Turkey Commemorates the Women Killed by Their Husbands Last Year appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Who “Ran to the Store” and Never Went Home Share Their Stories

Some people may fantasize about walking out on their family, home, and life to start a new one for a number of reasons – valid and not so valid – but what is it actually like to say “I’m running to the store” and never go back home?

These 15 people are willing to share the true tales of how they walked the walk…straight out the door.

#15. I never forgot him.

When I was five, my dad came home from work, and my mom informed him out, completely of the blue, that she wanted an immediate divorce (I found out many years later she’d had an affair and was pregnant). He moved out of the house (they had three little kids together; I was the oldest), and she married her second husband (twice; they weren’t divorced the first time). He was paying child support as he was supposed to, but she was calling him at work and sending him letters at home (his sister kept them), asking for more, and he began to get complaints about it from his bosses. He asked his mother what he should do; she advised him to tell her he was giving her all he could, and all he was ordered to, and that he was going to lose his job if she kept it up. And, that if she didn’t stop, he’d leave the state, and she’d never hear from him again. She thought that would make her wise up and leave him alone. So, he did. But she continued. So, he asked his mother for advice again. Her advice was to follow through. And so, he did. He packed his clothes into his car, and headed for Canada. He got as far as two states north from where he began, liked a little town he came across, and got a job there.

I never forgot him. I was the only one of the three of us kids that had any memories of him. But when I was 16 and moved away from my extremely abusive home (in every way), I called my aunt, whose name I knew, who happened to live in the town I was also then living in, and told her I wanted to meet him. Coincidentally, he happened to be visiting her. I met him, my aunt, my grandfather, and my grandmother while he was there. It turned out to be the only time I would ever meet my grandfather; he died two years later. But I will never, ever forget it – he wrapped me up in a big, strong bearhug; told me how beautiful I was; how much he loved me, and how much he’d ALWAYS loved me, and how very, very happy he was to see me again after all these years. I cried then, and I’m crying again now, writing it down. I can still feel the love and caring in his arms.

I wasn’t ready to get to know my dad at 16 though; I realize now that I just wanted to “see” him. It took me another 10 years before I contacted him again. But I did; when I was living in California. And when I did, he took two weeks vacation (so did I), drove down to see me, and we spent the entire two weeks getting to know one another. And once he left, we were in contact daily. And I quit my job and moved up to the PNW a month later, because I knew the hole in my heart would never be filled until my dad was a part of my life. And I was correct.

My son has a grandpa because of my decision, and my dad is the greatest grandpa there is. I wish he’d have always been in my life, but the outcome I received is worth everything I’ve been through. I love you, Dad. <3

#14. I said I would be back.

I didn’t go out for cigarettes, but I pulled a similar stunt.

My mom is abusive and I had no spine, so I told her I was going to move in with my dad for the summer, I said I would be back before the end of August. After I moved in with my dad I got my state ID (my mom didn’t want me to have any kind of id) and I finally got my drivers permit a few weeks later. I felt bad for lying at the time, but now l know if I didn’t lie to her I would have never gotten out of there. I would be stuck living on a shitty little hobby farm with a woman who did everything in her power to tear me down and hurt me.

#13. I was just a toddler.

I was a toddler. 2 or so. After 9/11 my mother moved ya up to Vermont with her boyfriend who, for what it is worth, is now in federal prison for first degree murder of another girlfriend. As that indicates he wasn’t a good guy. He wouldn’t let me drink water unless I’d eaten a full meal, and I was two, so my mother had to serve fruit with every meal so I’d have moisture and let me drink water while he was at work. On days he didn’t work she & I would go out and explore as much as we could. We took to cleaning up old over grown graveyards, since it was interesting and fun and most importantly time consuming. But he was very controlling and didn’t want us to leave. She didn’t have a car so we had to walk everywhere. Being from NC and with no ability to purchase a train ticket because he controlled all her finances and she didn’t have a phone, she was forced to use a pay phone to contact my grandparents to fly up and come rescue us and fly us back. And had to tune it with his work schedule to make sure he wasn’t there when they came because she thought he might try to hurt me if he saw them come to take us.

#12. I slept on the couch for months.

When I was 18, I moved out from my abusive father. I was commuting to college at the time and I had morning classes so the night before I packed my car with as much of my stuff as I could, and set off.

One of my professors that I regularly talk to after class noticed that my car was full of clothes and asked if everything was okay. Over lunch I explained my situation, and he offered to take me in. I had already made arrangements to live with my mother. After my classes for the day were over I went home for the first time since I was a child to live with my mother.

I slept on the couch for months before getting my own bed, and we didn’t always have the money to eat, but we made it work.

I have seen my father one time since then because he swore to me that he had changed, that night he proceeded to get wasted and tried to put his hands on me. I haven’t seen him since, and I have no regrets.

Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver! I didn’t expect it. I was just wanting to finally share my experience with a wider audience, and maybe bring hope to anyone else in a situation like mine.

Edit 2: Just to clear up some confusion that I’ve noticed in the replies, I am a male. “Put hands on me” is a slang term for starting a fight. I’m not sure if it’s popular slang, or regional slang (southeast US) but at no point was I sexually abused. I apologize if there was any confusion.

#11. My mom just wasn’t there anymore.

ETSay: thank you everyone for all the kind words and support and awards. I felt a lot of love reading it all today.

My mom just all of the sudden wasn’t there anymore.

She and my dad were miserable but my dad wouldn’t agree to divorce. He was a minister at a big church and didn’t believe divorce was right and so instead he tried to stay married to my mom, all while avoiding her and all the unhappiness at home.

She never really left her bedroom. She was miserable and she made everyone else miserable, too. She was horrible to me in those last few years. We had been really close before that.

She started moving stuff out of the house little by little when no one was home. Like, one day a bookshelf would be gone. And we’d all notice but just kind of go on with our lives.

And it bothers me very very much, but her moving out was so abrupt and so ambiguous, that I don’t remember specifics about it. Like I don’t know if it was during the school year or over summer – I don’t know where I was or what was different when I came home that day – but at some point, she didn’t live there anymore.

I was 14.

My dad told me that God told him she would never come back. I looked up to my dad a lot – he was kind-of on the same level as God in my mind – so I believed him. He soon after started dating another woman – secretly because the church didn’t know he was divorced yet. He intended to marry her as soon as possible.

I remember I had to pose for “family photos” with this new woman and her 2 kids. They were printed up and put into a frame and hung over our fireplace.

Then one day, my mom came to the house. She told me she had made the biggest mistake of her life, that she loved me, and my brother and my dad, and she wanted to work everything out.

I guess God was wrong when he spoke to my dad…

Then she walked out of my room and saw the new family portrait over the fireplace. She left quickly.

A few days later, she called the house, my dad answered, and she told him to “tell the kids I said goodbye.” Then she hung up. We started calling everyone we could think to call. We tried to call the phone operator, asking if they could trace the call. (this was 1995 so no caller ID or cell phone with a callback number)

A bit later that night, my new step-mom-to-be came over and pulled my dad aside. She saw a car at the end of our neighborhood that looked like my moms. My dad called 911. Everyone showed up. My mom had taken a BUCKET of pills. She was barely alive. They took her to the Er and pumped her stomach and intubated her. They told my dad to call my brother so he could come say his goodbyes too.

I was let into the room for a while. I looked at the machines and they were plugged into the wall and I stared for a long time thinking I should unplug it because she really didn’t want to be revived and I couldn’t understand why we were doing all of this. But then a nurse came in and said I had to leave while they did stuff.

My mom survived. My dad married the other lady. I think this messed me up and I honestly can’t believe Ive typed up this entire recollection. I don’t think about it very often and maybe that’s why I can’t remember the details of the day I realized she’d moved out.

TL:DR dont move out and leave your family without so much as a note, and don’t tell people God told you stuff.

#10. Grabbed a hat and walked out.

I grew up in a very abusive strict home. My step father beat both my sisters and then when they left I was next. Anyways one night he made me walk home from the mall because he wouldn’t give me a ride. I called and asked around five and he said you better have your ass home at five. I walked the eight miles and was pretty wiped out when I was coming up the driveway. We had a big front window and I saw him sitting in his chair drinking whiskey waiting for me. When I walked in he said something and I replied you won’t do shit. The next thing I knew he had me pinned to the wall and punched me in the face until I was knocked out. When I woke up I remember feeling the blood from my nose and my mother was standing there and told me I was a disgrace to go clean my face off. I went upstairs and grabbed a hat and walked out and never went back. I was 14 years old at the time. Edit: Gold! Thank you kind strangers!

#9. She called me the wrong name.

My grandmother did. Just left her husband and three kids, the eldest in elementary school.

My grandfather made it through. He worked at my great-grandfathers business and went on to own it. He also remarried a few years later.

About 25ish years after she left, she contact my dad wanting to meet her grandkids (my older brother and me) and reconnect. I was around two, my brother 5ish. My brother called her by her. This was upsetting to her and she left.

15 years pass and once again, she wants to be in our life. This time we go to her. I was excited to meet her, as my grandfathers wife hated her step kids, and thus her step-grandkids. So my teenage self set up a false reality. One bug happy family. Reality was, she had a whole different family she was happy with. A granddaughter who she loved dearly and made quilts with. She called me the wrong name the whole time we were there, even when corrected. She had a cute house with family pictures all over – none of us of course. It’s like she forgot all about her other three kids.

She’s just some lady to me. I only know her first name honestly. And I know that I never want to be like her. Edit to say because it did just end: it’s been about 10 years since we last saw her.

My dad… he hides it. His life growing up was not great as a result. He’s angry about it, but pretends not to be. But my dad had never, ever not been there for me. He’s honestly sometimes too much there for me.

#8. I never got to go back to my bedroom again.

I was ten years old when my mom and dad split up. We had been expecting it, but I didn’t know that my mom had packed up suitcases for herself, my sister, and I. One day we went to school like everything was normal, and went to my mom’s parents after school. It wasn’t unusual for us to have dinner there. But then mom sat us down and told us we’d be staying there for a while.

Ended up being six years before we got our own place. I never got to go back to my bedroom again. My dad got remarried and his wife’s daughter moved in and repainted my room. When I had to visit them I slept on the couch while she slept in my room.

Edit: I clearly do not check reddit enough. Thank you for all the love and support everyone is showing to everyone! And thank you for the silver kind strangers ?

#7. I was told he didn’t even notice.

When I was 16, I moved out without telling my stepdad, but my mom was in on it. And I just moved in with my grandparents. I left on a Friday. Got all my stuff in just two trips. I was told he didn’t even notice I was gone the first weekend. He was pretty mad once he figured it out, but it was all mostly a non-event. Everything turned out okay for me. It will have been 21 years, this September.

#6. Go ahead and leave.

My ex-husband was extremely physically and emotionally abusive, as well as an alcoholic/addict. He obsessively controlled the money and every second of my daily routine; an unplanned five minute delay to get gas on the way home would result in a dressing down (if I was lucky, a beating if I wasn’t). We had three daughters, and on the few occasions I threatened to leave, he’d tell me to go ahead and leave, but I couldn’t take our daughters with me.

At one of our couple-friends’ wedding reception, he got drunk as per usual and lost his mind over something insignificant, dragged me around in the street by my hair, and pulled a gun on me (in front of the wedding party). One of his friends – who was a real POS – took me aside while the groom’s mom was driving my ex home, and told me “you don’t have to live like this.” It was like a light went on in my mind – THIS GUY says I don’t have to live like this?!?

It took me a couple of weeks to put a plan in place, but one morning after my ex left for work my dad helped me pack everything that would fit in a uhaul, and I gtfo.

I’d like to say I never saw him again after that day, but I was pretty lucky he decided to leave me alone after an initial period of stalking and a bout in jail for violating an order of protection. Fast forward 15 years, and I finished undergrad, law school, and post-doc. I’m remarried with two more amazing kids, and life is pretty much goals.

EDIT: I forgot to mention the kids! I did take them with me – that was why I left the way I did, since I knew he wouldn’t let me leave with them otherwise. Unfortunately, it’s not been all sunshine and rainbows since, although we had some pretty wonderful times over the years. My ex passed on to the girls a genetic predisposition to serious mental illness, and I lost one daughter to suicide when she was 14. We all were (and are) pretty traumatized, but we cope the best we can and try to appreciate all the other wonderful things life has brought us.

EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold, and for the positive comments. All this isn’t something I talk about much in my d2d. It’s been years, but a lot of it is still fresh, and it’s occasionally cathartic to open up to strangers.

#5. She just couldn’t handle it.

Half answer.

My dad died when I was pretty young. My mom eventually remarried to a pretty cool guy when I was young. He was honestly an amazing dad, and when my mom got sick when I was a 12, he was absolutely incredible- taking care of everyone, and reaffirming that I was his son. When my mum died, it was just me and him for a few years – and there were some amazing times. He made sure I was seeing a counsellor, and we did family things on the weekend. My friends used to joke that he wasn’t even my biological dad and he still made more time for me, and did more things for me than their bio dad’s did.

When I was 15, he got remarried. I didn’t exactly like my new step mom, but I didn’t hate her. I think I just thought that the relationship wouldn’t last and he’d move on to someone better. Then they got married and it was kinda weird. I did get an amazing baby brother from that – not all bad.

My dad died when I was 17. Literally taken out by an undiagnosed severe allergy. My step-mom got me from school and drove me to the hospital, and when my dad passed away, she handed me my baby brother and said she needed a minute by herself. I never saw her again.

She was much younger than my dad, and was an ex-foster are kid with no family or best friends to support her – and I think she looked at her newborn baby and the kid her dead husband inherited and just couldn’t handle it. I sure know I wasn’t prepared to handle it – but my mom and my (biological) dad had been ex-foster care kids and mom told me a few fucked stories so I wasn’t going to let that happen to me or my brother. I do sometimes feel a little resentful that I can’t have the normal life – I’m working too much, and I have a six year old to figure out, to consider college but I don’t want my family to just be cycles of poverty and dead-end jobs.

**Edit: Wow guys! I’m touched by the response. I have full custody – my step-dad adopted me when my Mom died so for all intents and purposes, my brother is legally my brother. Afraid I can’t give too many details – I want to adopt him and there’s a court case or two that I don’t wanna compromise just in case – movies have told me that anyway!

Step-mom will probably be charged with abandonment when she can be located – but so far we haven’t heard anything. I’ve always been worried that she had a mental health break and either killed herself (I used to call up locally and ask for Jane Doe’s that fit her – hey coping mechanisms amirite?) or she’s had a mental health break and something snapped. Abandonment didn’t really fit what I knew of her – and I remember that she had some kind of mental health problems – it’s not like we talked about it though. She could have gone off her meds in the chaos and snapped. I’m more worried than angry – but my first concern will always be for my favourite little tyke.

We’re doing pretty well – we have a support worker who has been fantastic, helping us get access to free and reduced cost services. I’m also pretty thrifty – I youtube’d how to knit socks and fix clothing and thrift stores are great. I don’t live near a major city, and so it’s not as expensive as it could have been. Being frugal also helps.

There’s usually always good stuff out there if you know how to ask for help – and my dad always told me the hardest thing but the most important thing to do was to suck up your pride and ask for help. I’m getting better about that, but it’s hard. My dad making me do therapy helped a bunch to admit when I need help – he said that needing help wasn’t about not being capable, but about being smart. That if you’re carrying an expensive tv you could carry it by yourself but you’re smarter if you grab a friend.

I’m almost finished an apprenticeship right now – and I’m in a Union that’s decent enough that wives used to drop off casseroles and leave cribs and stuff on our porch. Everyone should be involved in their community. I wouldn’t have survived without everyone willing to go to bat for me.

I’m working pretty hard because I’m incredibly fortunate that I met good people along the way. I owe them a lot. I also work part time at a nursery helping with plants and stuff on weekends for the staff discount and free stuff. I taken home more than a few half-dead fruit trees and vegetable seedlings. The more I work, the more I can throw into savings. It’s morbid but I want to make sure if I die, he’s not frantically worrying about paying for that. It’s – not exactly a good feeling.

My bro and I have been working on expanding our tiny garden to try and off set the cost of food and he seems to like gardening just as much as my dad did. Last year we didn’t buy a single potato or any herbs. It’s been the best low-cost high-involved activity we’re doing – and it sometimes makes me feel less guilty that I can’t be there more for him like our dad was for me.

We have glass pasta jars and tin cans growing basil and rosemary right now – I told my bro if he can keep them alive all year without me needing to intervene, we can look at adopting chickens. He specifically wants two chickens named ChicKEN and ChicBARBIE because he’s funnier than I am.

I’m working a bunch now because I want him to be in a better position in the future – my dad left a small, but decent amount in a trust – and I pulled from it when I first got custody when I was scrambling to afford everything. I want to replace everything I took, and also make sure he can afford to do the things that I couldn’t when growing up. When he’s in high school and wants to celebrate by going to Mexico, then he’s going to Mexico.

I do miss the stuff I can’t do – I’ve never not had responsibilities. I’m still friends with people from school, and they’re doing cross-country adventures and dropping money on expensive stuff. It’s such a weird idea that they can just go to music festivals without worrying about anything while I’m trying to find a detergent that doesn’t set the bro’s eczema off. Wouldn’t trade him for the world though.

We have saving accounts and insurance policies and I’m probably better off than a lot of people. The comments have been incredible with people offering help from everywhere – I needed that help when I was 17 and scared out of my absolute mind.

I’m almost 24 now and I’m stable – but paranoid and weird for sure. If you’d like to donate, please direct them to local organisations fighting the good fight. The difficult part of the story is basically over – until he hits teenaged years probably. God knows how I’m going to handle that. That’s a problem for future me. I don’t need that kind of help anymore, and I’m moving into the phase of life where I just want to give back to people that have helped me, by passing it on. I joined reddit because I saw that post that said “Today you, tomorrow me” – that’s my philosophy in life.

There are a lot of people out there like me, and they deserve to be able to grow garlic in old jam jams with their family just as much as I did.**

#4. Mom never came looking for me.

Didnt leave my wife and kids as I dont have any but i did walk out on my mother and siblings without any notice. Dad was not in the picture.

After? Best decision of my life. My mother refuses treatment for her very serious mental illness or illnesses and was incredibly abusive physically as well and neglectful while i was growing up. I saw the affect it had burn out older siblings with no motive or drive and instead embraced the crazy just to feel sane in the toxic family home we lived in.

I was homeless for about a year and a half living out of a duffel and bumming food from friends. I feel like my life hasent even started until i left it behind. I feel like it held me back for 17 years and i now am finally being able to find out who i am.

Mom never came looking for me, i reconnected with my estranged father, whome i learned was in the military from the moment he was 18 until he was HD at 43. He has severe PTSD from his 3 tours in Iraq and afghanastan. He’s now getting his Masters in outdoors leadership which i believe is a perfect way to use his massive skill set. I dont see him much if ever but at least i know some blood is still thicker than water

#3. Until he got back.

For us it was that he went out for milk. Dad told me as the eldest surviving kid I was “The man of the house” until he got back, so it was my obligation to help/defend/take care of them for him until he came back. He never came back.

#2. He ghosted 4 families.

my real dad ghosted like 4 families. his first family, he had a son. he was in that family for 13 years, his son had a motorcycle wreck and ended up in intensive care. a year later he ghosted that family and moved to a new state. just up and left, didnt take anything but his clothes and his car.

second family, he had a daughter. he left almost immediately.

then he moved to another state, and married another woman, and had two more kids whom ive never met or spoken to. dont even know their names tbh. jake? john? jordan? josh? something with a j. he went out for a pack of smokes and never went back(his own words)

then he met my mom, and had my sister first. he ghosted my mom 3.2 years later, then showed up for some quick whoopie, and i happened. he ghosted her, but didnt leave the state. she called the cops and my first memory is of the cops bringing my dad to the house in cuffs and letting him go, only for him to attack my mom while she was holding me and she dropped me. then the cops arrested him. he wanted out, he got out.

he had 2 more marriages, but no kids. its his MO to shack up with well off women and mooch until they either kick him out or he gets bored.

its really fucking painful to see, because i want to be an asswiping dad whose there for his kids every fucking second of their lives. i want to be the exact opposite of him.

#1. I left a terrible human.

This is my throw away.

Got married right out of high school, everything was going well but we were young and both were our first partners. Came home early one day and walked in on my wife with another man. Standard insanity ensued, followed by her begging for forgiveness and we went to months of counseling. Everything seemed well and dandy, she seemed like a totally different woman and couldn’t live with out me.​

One day I log into our desktop PC and her Facebook is loaded and there are multiple messages and I had to look. I found exactly what I knew I would find. It crushed me but I acted like nothing happened. That weekend I packed up my favorite clothes and belongings that meant a lot to me and snuck them to the car. Sunday evening I said “Hey I’m going to take the dogs to the dog park and hike for a few hours”. When I left, I texted our neighbor to see if anyone showed up at the house. She replied pretty quickly that a male visitor was by very quickly, I told her goodbye and the dogs and I just drove. I had a decent savings and thought “Fuck it, start off somewhere new” and that is what I did​

My ex wife didn’t even try and contact me until around lunch time the next day. When I didn’t respond, she blew me up with photos and videos of her with multiple men and about how bad of a lover I was. It fucked me up but I just kept trucking. I ended up in a smaller town where I saw someone was hiring for my trade. Years later, I re-married to the best human ever.

I went home not long ago and my Mom posted a picture of us at a gathering. My ex hit up my facebook and asked if we could meet for a cup of coffee she would like some closure (I obviously would like as well). I have to say, for all the resentment and hatred I had toward this woman, our conversation was pleasant and I felt better after we talked. She understood why I left, she apologized deeply, many times and didn’t try to blame me for anything.

After an hour and a little bit of tears (awkward as hell in public hahaha) she asked if it was okay to get a hug. We hugged and said our goodbyes. Once I got home I told my wife about the visit and she got awkward for a few minutes. She left the room and I didn’t follow, I thought “oh I’m sleeping on the couch tonight”. Five minutes later, she came back crying and just gave me the biggest hug ever, she told me she forgot what I went through and she was sorry and glad our life is good.

Closing, I left a terrible human for the best human ever.

I don’t know if I could do it!

The post People Who “Ran to the Store” and Never Went Home Share Their Stories appeared first on UberFacts.

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Men Share Their Own Traumatic #MeToo Stories

Many people are no longer scared to come forward with their personal stories about sexual assault and harassment. And it’s all because of the #MeToo movement.

This also includes men. In this AskReddit thread, men share their painful #metoo stories.

1. Deep sleep

“Was at a friends house for the weekend, his sister shows up and we kind of clicked. After a night of heavy drinking she asked me to sleep in her bed with her, I remember making out with her and then falling asleep. I woke up completely naked and asked her how that happened and she said she felt that I was still hard after dozing off so she just took it upon herself to have sex w me even though I was asleep (or at least half asleep, I’m known as a very deep sleeper, especially when drunk).

At that point I had never had sex with anyone without a condom, so you can imagine my excitement when I found out that there wasn’t one used with this girl that I had met for the first time.

And what’s worse was I ended working with her briefly like a year or so after and she decided to tell all the other girls I worked with that we had sex, which then basically made them want nothing to do with me.”

2. Makes me sick

“I was raped on and off from ages 8-11 by a family member. When I finally told, they cut ties with him but my family blocked me from pressing legal charges. He became a cop and now is in charge of keeping people safe, and that makes me sick.”

3. Raped

“i was raped in college. went to popular college bar, alone, because my friends had all graduated. an older woman, 40s probably, sat down next to me and started chatting. i don’t know if she drugged me or i blacked out. i woke up at first light nude in a strange house. she got up to shower or something, i jumped up, found my stuff in a corner in the room, and bailed. i found my way to the main road and realized i was 10 miles from the town i lived in. head pounding, it was a long walk. i filed a police report and they took me seriously enough to do the report but said that because i couldn’t provide a name or remember exactly what home there wasn’t much they could do.”

4. Psycho

“Drunken girl on a cruise ship grabbed my balls and squeezed so hard I fell to the floor in pain. As I got up, I asked why she did that, the answer was “you don’t deserve to have kids.” “

5. Attacked

“This happened like three months ago. I was on vacation with friends and was super drunk/high. They wouldn’t let me into bars I was so fucked up.

I was sleeping back at an Airbnb we were renting and my gay friend came in and asked to sleep in the bed with me, (Not enough beds, had air mattresses) I said it was okay. He was a friend, ya know?

We went to sleep and I woke up to him rubbing his ass on my dick to get it hard. I turned away from him and he then asked to suck me off as he ripped open my button fly jeans and yanked them down. I remember saying “no, no, no-” but I was like petrified and just laid there. I stared at the ceiling for a while as it happened then I stopped it and turned over away from him.

What made it worse was I feel like he was psychologically playing with me the rest of the vacation. Like he took my room and I slept on the couch, he’d make comments and be a dick to me. And I feel bad not telling anyone afterwards (or kicking his ass out of the Airbnb when it happened) cause he could have done the same thing to my other friends.”

6. Groped

“When I was 19 I was sexually harassed and groped by my 23 year old manager when I was working at a lottery kiosk. I was bent over moving stuff around under the counter when she walked up behind me, told me she had a dream about us having sex the night before and then grabbed my ass.

I froze, she laughed and went back to her desk. I didn’t know what to do or say so I just went on with my day.”

7. Too scared

“Was at the beach when an older man grabbed my ass. I told him to stop and he grabbed my crotch. I pushed him away. I was too scared to call the police. I blamed myself for a while.”

8. Unwarranted

“Was a bouncer growing up. Every single night my junk would get grabbed. Occasionally would have a girl try and work the zipper down on my pants. Piles of unwarranted kisses. Contrary to popular belief I wasn’t thrilled, had a solid gf at the time, and found it scummy.”

9. Traumatized

“14 years old at a resort. Was out late with some guys I’d met. Coming home in this dark corridor, some old guy jumps out of nowhere, pins me against a wall and sticks his tongue in my face licking me and trying to work my pants down. I shoved my knee into his crotch and ran. It left me traumatized for months about meeting new people.”

10. I have a girlfriend

“Was going out with some friends from work, went out early and had to wait for them. Sat down at a table with 1 guy and 2 women and we started talking after around 20-30 minutes the guy and 1 of the women excused themselves and left. So i was sitting there with this woman and she was sending very clear signals, like overtly sexual.

Told her i had a girlfriend, she just started screaming that i had put something in her drink. I got thrown out she got to stay, i had to talk with the police, got banned from that place on top of it. They never bothered looking into if anyone had put anything in her drink either. It was just assumed that i was guilty.”

11. Walkin’ home

“Went out with a girl and she drove us. She told me either I go inside her apartment and let her blow me or I walk home.

It was like 10 degrees F and I wasnt dressed for it and I was about 10 miles from home.

So I walked.”

12. She does that

“I went on a camping trip during college and was raped by a girl. I woke up as she was blowing me and I realized what was going on as she was about to mount me, so I threw her off, puked and kicked her out of my tent. We had no communication prior to this. When I told others about it, all I got was a laugh and “Yeahhh, she does that”. Went to campus police and was “highly recommended” that I drop it as they laughed about it. I didn’t want to be made fun of as the guy who was raped by a girl and all the jokes that would come with it.”

13. Not OK

“I was working as a bus boy at a restaurant and a drunk old lady suddenly grabbed my junk in a death grip for what felt like an eternity.”

14. Business trip

“This was about 18 years ago. I was on a business trip with a woman who I was not at all attracted to, physically or personality wise. I was 24 she was probably 29-31. She invited me to go get dinner after work, I agreed, she seemed normal enough to just chit-chat with. She said to stop by her hotel room when I was ready. When I got there she invited me into her room before we headed out. She had a bottle wine open and asked if I wanted a glass. I didn’t think there was much harm in it so sure, why not.

We walked to a Red Robin a few blocks away for dinner. I had 2 beers with my burger while we just made small talk. After dinner we decided to go see a movie. Nothing really exceptional. I can’t even remember what it was. I also don’t remember walking back to the hotel. What I do remember is gaining consciousness with her on top of me then nothing else until I woke up in the morning naked in her bed. I got dressed and high-tailed it back to my room and took the longest shower of my life. I assume I was roofied since I know I only had 3 drinks which, even though I’ve been blackout drunk in the past it took a lot more than 3 drinks over 4 hours to get that way. I’ve only ever told my wife about it and that’s about it besides this.”

15. With force

“I now realize I had this kind of experience when I was younger with a girl from high school. She wanted to have sex with me and was the fiancée of a friend of mine at the time. I told her I didn’t want anything like that with her and she forcibly groped me multiple times when we were alone and forcibly kissed me one time as well.”

16. The bathroom

“I remember being around 2 or 3 years old when this happened. My parents had our next door neighbor babysit me often. She was a teenager. I can remember one time she was in the bathroom and she called me into the bathroom. She was sat on the toilet, legs spread. I tried looking away cause I thought it was gross but she grabbed my arm and forced me to look at her vagina. Then she slapped me. I ran away but then she yelled at me to come back. I did and she told me to look again. Again, I didn’t want to but she told me she would slap me again if I didn’t look. Not wanting to get hit again, I looked. Obviously she slapped me anyway. I don’t remember much after that.

She eventually got fired cause my mom caught her stealing makeup. I told my parents she would hit me, but I never told them the context above. I’ve never told anyone before this really. I’m 30 years old and I’m pretty sure it still affects me. I don’t like looking at women’s genitals and frankly feel embarrassed to look at any women who are disrobed. I’ve honestly never had a girlfriend before, and the idea of intimacy with a woman just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m sure I want a family someday, but I don’t have any drive to pursue it, and when I think to myself why I feel this way, my thoughts inevitably drift back to that day in the bathroom.”

17. Grabbed

“I was at a bar the other night and had a girl walk over to me and grab my crotch (She was a stranger who I had never talked to or even made eye contact with) then she told me “You just look like you have a really big dick.” I just turned and walked away thinking she was hammered and confused me with somebody else.

Then she walked over again with some guy and told me that it was her boyfriend and he saw her grab my crotch. Her boyfriend then spread his arms and asked “what was my fucking problem?” and gave me a small shove. My best friend grabbed me and pulled me away and we left. I basically got groped by a stranger and then some guy wanted to fight me because of it… I’m still angry and confused by it.”

18. Crossed the line

“One of my girlfriend’s gay friends was fucked up on something and tried to kiss me. I backed away kind of chuckling and he grabbed the back of my neck, duck his nails in and pulled my head towards his face. I was able to push him off of me but a boundry had been crossed that messed with me for a while.

Never really told anyone because I didn’t want anyone to think I was homophobic.”

19. Violated

“Girl at the bar i was dancing with kept sticking her hand down my pants. Kept telling her to stop, she called me a pussy. Walked away and left with my friends, felt kind of violated. Not a huge deal but i’ve been fortunate in life so far no other examples.”

20. Targeted

“A friend of mine in high school (16 year old boy) got targeted by a younger teacher (late 20s woman). She would try to keep him after class, rub his shoulders, drape her arm around him when she was talking to him. Stuff like that. It made him very uncomfortable, but all the guys in class kept telling him how he should consider himself lucky because she’s a good looking woman.

This soon escalated to her insisting he “return the favor” in order to keep his grades up. Like we’d compare notes and he’d see his paper was marked wrong, and she’d say something like, “I guess I was so upset that you didn’t want a hug this morning I must have graded it wrong.” So he started giving in to the pressure because he was afraid for his grades.

Everyone kept telling him how he should feel lucky, so he eventually stopped complaining. She was eventually caught giving him a BJ at school, and she got fired. Even when everyone knew the whole story, I even remember some teachers talking about how that was what most high school guys dreamed of. It was sick.”

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Women Also Abuse Their Boyfriends. Take a Look at This List to See How.

Abusive relationships knows no gender. It can happen in every single combination of people who decide they want to spend time together. That means friendships can be abusive, as well as romantic relationships.

For the purposes of our discussion today, we’re going to focus on the female being abusive towards the male in a romance relationship. Because according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, “1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the United States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime,” AND “more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.”

So, it’s important to make sure that women also acknowledge their role in abusive relationships and make sure they try and break the cycle.

Tumblr user Exposing-The-Bullshit recently put this list together, and it’s worth a look…

https://exposing-the-bullshit.tumblr.com/post/149256150110/dear-teen-girls

The post got reblogged over 430K times and here are some of the best reactions…

1. Nothing wrong with losing “friends” over this…

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

2. She’s seen this first hand…

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

3. Yep. It’s not really about gender or sexuality.

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

4. Important stuff is important!

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

5. Part one…

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

5. Part two…

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5. Part three…

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

5. Part four…

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

5. Part five…

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

5. Part six…

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6. Part one…

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6. Part two…

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

What do you think?

Leave your thoughts in the comments!

The post Women Also Abuse Their Boyfriends. Take a Look at This List to See How. appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Reveal the Very Illegal Things That Happened at Their High Schools

Do you remember any crazy, super illegal stuff that went down at your high school? Well, that question was posted on Reddit and, oh boy… lots of people had stories to share. Soooooooo many stories.

Some funny. Some sad. Some completely insane.

High school was a weird time for many, and you’re about to find out how crazy it got…

1. Where do you go to school?!?!

Let’s see, where should I start?

Freshman year – 2 rapes in bathrooms, 1 fatal stabbing.

Sophomore year – Shooting in the courtyard, half pound of coke found in students locker.

Junior year – Drama teacher(f) caught sleeping with 3 students

Senior year – Gym teacher/Driver’s Ed teacher(m) impregnates freshman girl. Then it is discovered he has not had a valid Driver’s License for 6 years, invalidating the Driver’s Ed class for everyone that took it during that time period.

2. This is why you don’t give your kids booze.

High school coach didn’t keep tabs on our team during a weeklong beach trip to play games in Florida. Parents supplied kids with alcohol, one of my teammates snaps his neck diving into the ocean.

Coach fired, kid paralyzed. Literal chaos within our baseball program ensued, it was awful.

I transferred.

3. This. Is. Nuts.

Spanish teacher got arrested for illegally bringing over a 14 year old Argentinian girl and keeping her as a sex toy.

But since she was here illegally and wouldn’t testify against him she was deported and he came back to school later in the year. Come to find out a couple of years later he had molested like half of the girls volleyball team he was the coach of.

4. The difference between these two incidents!

My senior year one of my friends was murdered by her boyfriend and he drove around with her body in the trunk for a couple of hours.

Also, a couple of kids got caught giving each other piercings in the stairwells.

5. Freshmen are dumb…

There were 4 freshmen in the bathroom stall just vaping and a teacher came in so they freaked out and didn’t want to get in trouble so they thought calling the cops on the teacher for harassment would get them out of trouble.

They got expelled an hour after the cops arrived.

6. Well, that’s a sure way to get fired!

This was middle school, but our computer teacher was fired after they caught him watching porn in the computer lab during lunch.

Rumor has it, he was watching on the big projector screen they use for teaching.

7. This took a lot of turns in a short amount of time!

A teacher was caught having sex with an autistic student.

I believe the student claimed to have loved her.

Her dad was also a teacher at the same school and he left after the incident came out.

Edit: Teacher was female, student was male.

8. The “cool” kids…

The cool gang of kids (not me, I’ve never been anywhere near cool…) got into a dare contest which ended up with one of them having to get a pair of knickers from a particular girl. She didn’t want to play the game… so he ended up cornering her in a boys toilet and cutting them off her with a knife.

We never saw him at the school again. All games were banned.

9. Well, this is pretty epic!

Little bit of backstory first.

Our school had a big renovation ongoing, and because of that, almost half off the school was closed down. The closed part included the biggest bathrooms and because of that, the school administration ordered two toilet barracks to be placed on the school yard.

So… some 7-9th graders decided to buy some toilet pipe opener liquid (i don’t know what is the correct term) and aluminium foil. They put the aluminum foil inside some plastic bottles and poured a little pipe opener in them with the foil. As someone has probably done this before, knows what is going to happen next. They stuck 6 bottles total inside the toilet bowls in every stall of one barrack and blew them up due to the chemical reaction between the foil and the opener. All the pipings of the single barrack were destroyed due to water pressure inside the pipes. Turns out that the two barracks had connected pipings and the water that was in the bowls in the other barrack shot up to the ceiling due to pressure.

The students never got caught and if I remember correctly, the incident ended up costing a hefty amount for the school administration. The barracks were taken away, and were replaced with new ones. After the incident, every recess there was a teacher infront on the barracks monitoring everyone going in and out. Nothing happened to the new toilets.

10. The CD master!

Pre-internet days (kinda), CD’s were a thing.

I had a massive CD collection in a gigantic book in my locker. I typed up lists of all the artists and albums I owned. So I had these flyers everywhere and for $3 a CD I’d burn you a copy. This was right when CD burners came out and my stepdad was super into the latest and greatest tech so we had the cool gadgets when they came out.

I eventually was caught but for a time I made killer money.

11. Don’t piss off the minor league boxer!

A Special Ed kid got jumped by a dude on his way to school and was beaten bloody. The whole thing was recorded by the guys girlfriend and her friend. The whole time they were cheering him on yelling things like “World Star!” and so on. She later posted it on Instagram which pissed off everyone and just about everyone wanted to beat the dude up in the vid. He was given temporary suspension (Fucking BS) while the police took care of him. From what I know, he was given a assault charge.

Also side note: There was a girl at my school who was in minor league boxing who was ready to beat him up, she even tried looking for him by his house.

EDIT: For those of you arguing if the boxer would’ve won the fight, can confirm, she was a hell of a lot bigger then the guy. In comparison, he was a pretty skinny dude.

12. Good plan on that third attempt…

Our football coach took off with one of the girls in the high school and moved to mexico and married her.

He had a wife and kids.

They then hired a brand new football coach who was 23 years old.

Before the end of his first year, he was hooking up with an 18 year old senior girl. They also took off and went somewhere.

We went without a coach for a couple years.

13. Hey, whatever works for two adults is up to them.

I had a male teacher in high school who had a lot of chemistry with this one girl in my class. They never did anything inappropriate but like they had great banter and got along great. We’d all joke that she had a crush on him and that they were going to get together. We even joked that they were already secretly hooking up, but we didn’t really think they were.

They were married 5 years later and have 2 kids and couldn’t be happier. It made all of us wonder if something was going down while she was in high school.

They both swear nothing happened until she randomly bumped into him at the supermarket when she was visiting home for the holidays. Parents were outraged when they found out. The school couldn’t fire him because there was no proof. Eventually they got tired of the awkward stares and moved away.

They’ve been married like 8 years now and from what I can see in social media are still going strong.

14. I don’t know what’s worse. The gun or the tapeworm!

Grew up in a small town.

When a lamb got sick and was dying our Ag teacher just had us go out behind the classroom building and shoot it.

We ended up pulling a massive tapeworm out of it.

Definitely not legal to have guns on campus let alone use them.

15. Abusing the disabled is nuts.

Had a pretty controversial case involving a handicapped student who had cerebral palsy and muscular dystrophy. His parents filed a lawsuit accusing two of his handlers of abusing him by dumping him out of his chair and forcing him to wear a neck brace so he’d “look them in the eye.”

Worst part was I don’t think the handlers suffered any consequences. I looked up articles on it and all of them highlight the abuse and lawsuit, but none follow through with the results which is frustrating.

16. Here, let me help you shut up forever…

Had a guy selling heroin. After that there was a weekly police presence.

Also, a kid bound a girl to a chair, gagged her and stuffed her in a cupboard in the woodworking shop. He claims it was to help her complete the sponsored silence she had been doing that day.

Okay, I’m scarred for life.

Going to go wash my brain out with beer.

Brb.

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Australia Just Banned Travelers with Domestic Violence Charges From Entering the Country

Good on ya, mates! Australia just took a stand against domestic violence in a major way. Pay attention, world!

The country made headlines in the past when it denied visas to singer Chris Brown and boxer Floyd Mayweather due to their domestic violence convictions, and now the nation has decided to ban all visitors to Australia who have a conviction for domestic violence against women or children.

The law became official on February 28, 2019, and applies to anyone from any country who is seeking a travel visa to Australia. Also, if a person is currently visiting or working in Australia on a visa and they have a record of domestic violence, they will be kicked out of the country.

Australia’s Immigration Minster, David Coleman, said, “If you’ve been convicted of a violent crime against women or children, you are not welcome in this country.”

Coleman and other Australian politicians believe that this is a step to lower Australia’s domestic violence. “By cancelling the visas of criminals we have made Australia a safer place,” Coleman said in the public statement. “These crimes inflict long lasting trauma on the victims and their friends and family, and foreign criminals who commit them are not welcome in our country.”

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Women of Twitter Share Stories of Exes Who Stole Credit for Their Accomplishments, and It’s Infuriating

We’ve all had our share of bad exes, but one Twitter user recently shared a story that was truly horrifying: her boyfriend stole the credit for homemade tiramisu that she’d made.

Jessica Blankenship explained that she’d spent 12 hours making the tiramisu. Her ex took her photo of the cake and sent it to other girls to win them over, claiming that he’d made it. THE HORROR.

Photo Credit: Twitter

In response to Jessica’s tweet, other women began to share similar stories of their exes stealing credit for their accomplishments. Is there a name for this type of abuse? Emotional terrorism, maybe?

Some of the lies are SO oddly specific – this guy’s sense of self was hinging on a Swiffer of all things?

Photo Credit: Twitter

And this guy really decided to take credit for this Aztec clay mask – and it worked. Clever motherf*cker.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Other stories were more common, like guys stealing their girlfriend’s drawings.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

One user joked about “PTSD gang,” but seriously. PTSD gang.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Some of these robberies are just abominable. NOT THE PUPPY, SIR.

Photo Credit: Twitter

One girl spent an entire summer winning her and her boyfriend a trip to Mexico, and he went without her!

Photo Credit: Twitter

Another girl’s ex fed her homemade rice crispy cakes to his side piece!

Photo Credit: Twitter

And another ex-guy stole a woman’s LOVE POEMS!

Photo Credit: Twitter

Then there’s this other dog fraudster. Throw all of these men in jail.

Photo Credit: Twitter

If one good thing came out of this thread, though, it’s that tons of women came together and realized that they’re not alone with these experiences.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Now, if only there were a way to actually warn other women against dating these specific men.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Programmers, where ya at?!

The post Women of Twitter Share Stories of Exes Who Stole Credit for Their Accomplishments, and It’s Infuriating appeared first on UberFacts.

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10 People Reveal the Moment They Lost Respect for Their Parents

When we’re kids, we view our parents as all-knowing and indestructible. Then we grow up and things slowly change – and we come to realize more about how the world works. Some of us even end up losing a lot of respect for our parents, which can be hurtful, difficult, and strange all at once.

But these 10 Reddit users came face-to-face with their pain by sharing their incredibly personal stories – so I think we owe them an ear, don’t you?

1. The Hypocrites

“When I found out that, despite my parents ostracising me for having The Gay, which is Sinning and means I’m Going Straight To Hell, it turns out my mum has had three affairs that we know about. But that’s okay, because it’s hetero cheating, which apparently is just fine.”

2. The Betrayer

“Right after I graduated high school, I got my first car and was on my mom’s car insurance policy. After a year I had been a very good driver and I wanted to call my insurance company to see if I could lower my rates. Turned out my mom kept the policy active for 1 month so I had an insurance card to put in my glovebox, but then cancelled the policy and pocketed the money for herself.

As much as the monetary aspect hurts, it’s crazy to think that my own mom would let me drive my car having me believe I was covered. I could have destroyed my life if I made some horrific mistake.”

3. The Thief

“When I was a teenager, my mom used to come in my room in the mornings when she thought I was asleep and steal cash from me.

Lots of other things happened after that, but that was the start of it.

Edit: To be fair, they had no money. But I started working at 14 to pay for everything for myself because they couldn’t/wouldn’t help me out with my expenses. Last thing I needed was my mom taking a few bucks from me every morning. I started keeping tabs eventually and she took a few hundred dollars, a couple dollars at a time.”

4. The Favorites

“Oh… so many things.

Mom says she doesn’t have favorites but there are obviously favorites.

I could be the first US woman president and still be a disappointment because I don’t want/have kids

Dad telling me I may as well hurt myself when I went on Prozac as a teenager

Mom and dad bought my twin sister a fully refinished 67 mustang on our 16th birthday. I got a 95 Corolla that would regularly turn off randomly

During the early 2010s my parents needed money. We loaned them 10k. Never got it back. The following year they gave my sister 5k to help pay for her wedding because “she’s always dreamed of being a bride”.

Mom hates dad. Refuses to recognize they should have split up a long time ago. To make sure they don’t have to actually come to terms with their marriage, they continue to let two of my sisters, their husbands, and kids live in their house. When one of those sisters decided to get a divorce (hm, wonder why… perhaps living in a house with 6 other adults doesn’t work well for a healthy marriage?), they stopped talking to that sister. Which is hard because… you know… they all still live together.

I could go on. Let’s summarize with they pretend their lives and their family is pure gold and instead we’re just as f*cked up as everyone else.”

5. The Mental Abuser

“About two years ago, I struggled heavily from depression. My mom is one of those people who doesn’t really understand the depth of mental illnesses, and on top of it, she was verbally abusive and always made cutting remarks about my academics, appearance, anything to degrade my self worth. She broke me down to a point where I said I didn’t want to live anymore and wanted to kill myself. She told me to do it.

I ended up in foster care for about a week because my friends called because they knew I wasn’t safe with her, and she is a manipulator and finessed the system to get me back quickly, and made it sound like she did nothing wrong.

I finally got therapy, but it wasn’t family, just me since she felt she did nothing wrong. She is treating me better and learning to respect my boundaries, but I will never forget my own mother scoffing, telling me to kill myself. I will never be able to respect her after that.”

6. The New Wife

“When my father came home from a tour in Korea he brought with him a new wife. We had never met her nor heard of her until he said he was coming home. We all moved together to his next posting. Three months later, wifeypoo gave him an ultimatum. “Either the kids go or I go.” He called up our mother (I have a sibling) and told her he was sending us to her. He then called us to the phone to “talk to your mom”. I had no memory of her.

In fact a prior step parent told us she was dead. I believed her. So he sent us to meet this stranger with the intention of giving custody to her under the guise of vacation without him. Our belongings followed. He gave us back to woman he divorced and believed was a danger to us just 11 years prior.

I lost a little respect for him for placing his new wife (she left him once she got a green card) over his children.”

7. The Bad Mom

“My mom:

-compared me to friends constantly but would also use my grades or achievements as a way to compete with my aunt

-fakes illnesses when she wants attention or to guilt my siblings and I. She’s lied about having cancer, strokes, etc. When we figured out she was lying and stopped going to the hospitals, she calls family members and cries that we won’t help her/how she’s basically terminal/how we don’t Care

-has basically scammed my sisters, elderly grandma and I out of thousands and thousands of dollars. Just found out about 6 months ago, that she had gotten a pretty sizeable settlement from when I got hit by a car 20 years ago. She denied it and when i showed her proof, she threw my late father under the bus (he was a recovering addict) and claimed he was in charge of all that

-she was a nurse and when I attempted suicide, she didn’t want to get me professional help because it would look bad on her and my problems “aren’t everybody’s business”… so she just medicated the shit out of me for a bit.

Believe it or not, there’s more.”

8. The Terrible Advice

“My mom believes that if you just believe hard enough, you always get what you want.

I challenged her as to why we haven’t won the lottery. She said because she let past experiences influence her thinking as well as evidence. She then said, “I try not to let evidence influence my beliefs. I know I’m not supposed to…”

Yeah. An anti-evidence stance. :/ “

9. The Grown Child

“My parents are divorced. Mom had to move in with my dad for a bit because she didn’t have a place to stay. She wouldn’t clean up after herself or her daughter (my half sister) and she took over my brothers room and would just stay locked away in there doing seemingly nothing to change her situation.

When my dad confronted her calmly about her rudeness telling her that she needs to be courteous and clean up after herself she screamed at him and cursed him out saying things like “I don’t have time to be courteous” and “You’re not my parent”. I’ve never been so angry at another person, and although it was a stressful time for everyone she had no right to be so ungrateful. I didn’t have a whole lot of respect for my mom at this point in the first place, but that definitely made me lose any that I still had.”

10. The Unfair Expectations

“They put my sisters through their undergraduate degrees, but have not provided me with any finances.

I am not trying to sound like a spoiled brat, but it sucks that I am expected to be at the same place they were at when they were 24 – yet I am in student debt, not done with my degree & have to pay everything on my own.8. The Hypocrites

“When I found out that, despite my parents ostracising me for having The Gay, which is Sinning and means I’m Going Straight To Hell, it turns out my mum has had three affairs that we know about. But that’s okay, because it’s hetero cheating, which apparently is just fine.”

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