Author: Sampson Spadafore

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History Buffs Share The One Fact That Always Makes Them Laugh

Prehistory became history when we were able to start recording and conveying what humans were doing.

Some say it started with cave paintings or rock carvings, some believe it started with Sumerian cuneiform, or the Egyptian hieroglyphs which happened around the same time. Some say the many cultures that used oral histories continued our first real form of recording the past.

It’s said history repeats itself and sometimes that history is hilarious.

Historians have been finding weird and random facts about our species old way of life and now we can share the funniest ones through the internet.

Redditor Axel_Ambrose asked:

“History nerds of Reddit, what’s a historical fact/tidbit that will always get you to chuckle?”

It’s unbelievable that some of these things actually happened.

Three way excommunication.

“That time when around 3 men claimed to be the pope and all excommunicated each other.” – sad_barrett_

“Or that time a pope sold his position. Or that time the king of France straight up had the pope murdered. Lots of great pope stories out there.” – Magmafrost13

“Or the time an honest to god pirate was elected pope.” – 1-1-19MemeBrigade

“He was one of the Popes during the Western Schism mentioned by sad_barrett_.” – A_Blessed_Feline

Romans loved their dogs.

“Ancient Romans loved their dogs as much as we do. There are entire surviving texts of people talking about their daily, monotonous life with dogs. In some cases, we have more information about their dogs and what they did with them than other aspects of Roman life.”

“On a less funny but sweet note; when their dogs died, many of them were given elaborate graves with highly decorative tombstones. They often carved poems about them or wrote in length about how much they’ll miss them or what they loved about them most. These dog graveyards were considered sacred and vandalizing them was a major offense.”

“The YouTube channel Historia Civilis has an awesome video on the subject of surviving Roman manuscripts, including some other funny moments of Roman history.”

“For more information on Dogs in ancient Rome, including the touching epitaphs, I’ll point you guys towards Invicta on YouTube with this video.” – KnightCaptain_Bob

“Here’s the link showcasing some of the epitaphs.” – legothief

“‘Myianever barked without reason, but now he is silent.’” – Myfourcats1

WWII toilet paper.

“In WW2, Germans were dropping demoralizing letters on London… British used them as cheap toilet paper.” – salttrooper222

“Apparently the Germans also dropped a bunch of papers on allied positions showing their wives cheating on the soldiers while they were away. The soldiers just used it as porn.” – MeiNeedsMoreBuffs

“TBF didn’t we do the same thing in return. I just laugh at the idea that during the whole period of rationing, the one thing both sides had plenty of was toilet paper.” – Soppydog

“Fun fact: During ww2 the British diet was the best it had ever been until then. They had never been fed a more healthy and well balanced diet.” – Scamsurvivor

“The Allies dropped food packages on Germany (why, I can’t recall, but I think they were trying to ‘sow goodwill) and they wrote ‘gift’ on them. ‘Gift’ means ‘poison’ in German.” – Vajranaga

Adopting a bear.

“A Polish Artillery supply Corp adopted a bear, made him a soldier, and kept him for the duration of the war.” – nerdykate100

“His name was Wojtek.”

“After the war he retired to Edinburgh Zoo where his old comrades would come and give him cigarettes.”

“There’s a statue of him in Edinburgh as well.” – sAindustrian

“Better than that, he used to play-wrestle the men, and his old comrades would climb down into the enclosure to give him beer and cigarettes – and wrestle him.” – Brickie78

“He scared away an entire company of Germans. Two scouts saw him carrying artillery shells in the middle of the night and told their commander that the Polish had a company of bears which made them retreat lmao.” – lowhangingfruit12

Viking runes.

“Maeshowe’s runes. Archaeologists explored some old Viking chambers and found inscriptions that were 14 feet tall, and unreadable. After years deciphering these runes, they translated to, “this is very high.”

“We haven’t changed.” – duerlort

“I wish I could see the look on the face of the archaeologist who translated it.” – 1-1-19MemeBrigade

“Aren’t there some carvings like that in the Hagia Sophia? I seem to recall that some of the Vikings serving as the Varangian Guard got up to some amusing hijinks there.” – Almainyny

“Yeah the runes on the Hagia Sophia are ‘halfdan carved these runes.’” – thedankestyeet

Being the first to see an animal.

“Imagine patrolling the Alps and you see elephants rolling up. But you don’t even know what an elephant is.” – TomasSchmieder

“Hannibal of Carthage with his War Elephants I presume? Traveling over the Alps on his way to destroy Rome and bringing Elephants into Europe for the first time. Imagine how terrifying it must’ve been for the Roman Legionaries, seeing five tons of pure muscle barreling down at them at speeds equaling horses. Yet, they availed Hannibal nothing. Rome vanquished him and annexed Carthage.” – ThatBada**online

Third wheel on the moon.

“In all the Apollo missions three guys were sent to the moon. But only two guys got into the lander and went down and walked on the moon. The third guy stayed in the command module in orbit and had to listen to the radio chatter of the the other two guys talking about how badass it was to walk on the moon.” – stanley_leverlock

“Didn’t Collins lose all radio contact when he was on the far side?” – redopz

“All of the landing zones were on the near side of the moon. Every CM pilot lost complete contact with both mission control and the lander when they orbited the far side, as there were no relay satellites in lunar orbit.” – Redditor

“The loneliest man in the universe.” – ATF_Dogshoot_Squad

“I seem to recall reading somewhere that he found it very peaceful:”

“‘I don’t mean to deny a feeling of solitude. It is there, reinforced by the fact that radio contact with the Earth abruptly cuts off at the instant I disappear behind the moon, I am alone now, truly alone, and absolutely isolated from any known life. I am it. If a count were taken, the score would be three billion plus two over on the other side of the moon, and one plus God knows what on this side’.” – elcarath

Napoleon’s brother.

“Napoleon had a brother who lived in New Jersey.” – NotAJewishMother

“Must have made family reunions real depressing for that guy.” – Almostatimelord

“He moved to New Jersey after his brother’s fall from power. When Napoleon was emperor, he made him King of Spain.” – MooseFlyer

“Joseph Bonaparte was his brother and was made King of Spain. After the Peninsular War he retired to New Jersey when he was dethroned.” – MassiveFajiit

The war over Toledo.

“There was a war between Michigan and Ohio over Toledo, and the Ohioans evacuated so fast there weren’t even any casualties. As a result, the government gave Michigan the upper peninsula and Ohio got to keep Toledo.” – typhondrums17

“Michigan won the war, which is why Toledo is now part of Ohio.” – Distantmind88

“Damn, Michigan giving out the harsh punishment.” -BarryMacochner

A record holding election as the “most rigged.”

“The most rigged election, where the winner received 243000 votes, except there were only 15000 registered voters.” – 18270

“Gotta get that 1,680% voter turnout.” – fa1afel

“Someone commented the last time this was posted that its sort of a power move. ‘I’m going to fake this election, and make it really obvious. Everyone will know that the election is rigged but no one will do anything about it.’” – river4823

Modern humans haven’t changed much in the few hundred thousand years we’ve been around.

In relation to the Earth’s existence (4.4 billion years), we are barely even a blip on the timeline.

History will repeat itself, even the funny things that humans do.

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People Share The Best NSFW History Facts They Don’t Teach You In School

Everyone who has gone through a history class in the United States likely learned about things like dictators, leaders and Presidents of the past. Teachers will tell you about World War I and II.

You might learn about people like Benjamin Franklin, Ivan the Terrible or Catherine the Great.

However, you might not know some of the not safe for work details omitted from the classroom about these famous historical figures.

Redditor boopsterdoopster asked:

“What are some NSFW history facts that don’t get taught in school?”

Now that we’re adults, there’s plenty of facts to still learn about outside the classroom.

The most epic party of the last three centuries.

“If you look up Edward Russell in history books or even Wikipedia, you learn about his military service, including Admiral of the Royal Fleet for some famous battles.”

“What they don’t teach is that he threw a party so epic it’s still being talked about 300 years later.”

“In 1694, he threw a party for officers, and with 6,000 guests coming, wanted to make it special. So, he made the world’s largest cocktail.”

“Drained the garden fountain and used that as a giant punch bowl with hundreds of gallons of liquor, over a half ton of sugar, thousands of lemons, etc.”

“He hired bartenders to paddle around in boats, scoop it up, and serve it to attendees.”

“At some point, it began to rain, so they put a tent up over the fountain to prevent it getting watered down.”

“About a week after they started, they had drank every last drop, the fountain was dry, and the party was over.” – MyNameIsRay

“Damn must have been one hell of a week.” – mattisdabezt

“Not a single person in attendance remembered any of it.” – Abbhorase

“If you remember it, you weren’t there.” – RabSimpson

The invention of powdered wigs.

“Powdered wigs were invented to cover up head sores caused by syphilis.” – buddywilson2828

“Syphilis also eventually destroys your nose, which is why old timey writing frequently refers to how prominent a person’s nose is while expounding on their moral character. Essentially, ‘this guy is super great, he doesn’t even have syphilis!’” – SteamboatMcGee

“And small pox scars too. and lice. and all kinds of nasty things because while population was booming, indoor plumbing and clean water were not things yet.” – Makabajones

The first semen ever examined.

“The ‘Father of Microbiology,’ Antonie Van Leeuwenhoek, was the first to examine semen under a microscope immediately after ejaculating in his wife.” – misein-anthropos

“The ‘Daddy of Microbiology.’” – ExplainLikeImAnOtter

“He actually made a point to emphasize that he got it the sanctioned way because, you know, normal guys don’t spank it.” – gertalives

“In his defense, he could have been trying for the most accurate environment next to still being inside her; he knows that he doesn’t know everything, and so keeping conditions of the test as close as possible to the conditions of the events he’d like to understand is sensible.” – Beard_of_Valor

“When he presented his discovery to his fellow scientists, they had to pronounce the obligatory ‘NO HOMO’ to preserve their hetero-ness.” – churros4burros

More than we needed to know about Alexander the Great.

“Alexander the Great had 361 concubines (official prostitutes), 4 more and he would have one for every day of the year.” – Redditor

“Yeah but that would be excessive.” – bigblueh

“Then we’d have to call him Alexander the Excessive.” – nakiron

The life of a sailor.

“During the age of sail, any time a large ship would come into port, the men often wouldn’t be allowed shore leave for a few days. So you would see small boats packed with prostitutes heading out to the ship at mooring.”

“Larger ships of the line would have over 500 men aboard so there could definitely be a couple hundred ladies brought aboard ‘behind the captain’s back.’ and with virtually no privacy aboard, you would have spaces in the ship with hundreds of couples going at it at once.”

“There were definitely a lot of captains that didn’t allow any women aboard, so the sailors on those ships would just have to wait until they could go ashore.” – strengthof10interns

“Also a reason why piracy was, in the long term, an unsustainable economy: because most of the crew would blow their entire take of a prize with women (and to a lesser extent booze) the next time they went ashore. Did wonders for the economy of Kingston though.”

“I love pirates but goddamn they had no long term plan.” – wakattawakaranai

“I doubt most guys in that line of work back then didn’t expect to make it to old age anyways. Might as well live it up while you’re hearts still beating.” – strengthof10interns

“Look at Blackbeard. The most famous pirate of all time – was only a pirate for 2 years and was dead by 38.” – RudolphClancy88

Expedition to Sicily ruined by some drunk guys.

“There was a Greek general who was supposed to lead a major expedition to Sicily. The night before he left he got wasted and walked around Athens with his other drunk friends and knocked all of the penises off of the statues in Athens.”

“This caused him to be arrested, he missed the expedition and they lost almost all of the men they sent to Sicily because only he knew the plan well enough to pull it off.” – izlanda_

“My classics teacher in college LOVED to talk about Alcibiades. He called him the ‘Sterling Archer of Ancient Greece.’” – ParaplegicFish

“Alcibiades. Probably a false accusation. Which got him to defect to Sparta. Where he showed them how to defeat the Athenians and had an affair with one of the king’s (Sparta had two) wives.”

“So he ran to Persia, learned Persian, had an affair with the king’s female relative, showed Persia how to defeat Athens and Sparta. Went back to Athens and got his rank back, then quit.”

“Years later he owned a vast estate where he hosted the Athenian fleet warning them they had their ships positioned where they could be attacked. The fleet officers dismissed his concerns and the enemy burned their ships.” – Oknight

Ben Franklin liked older women.

“Ben Franklin was a super sex freak and loved to tell younger dudes to have sex with older (old) women.” – ericb67

“Ben Franklin was a playboy. He was the US Ambassador to France and slept with the daughters of many French nobles. And when he arrived his clothing would influence French fashion.” – BourbonBinge

“Dude also enjoyed taking ‘air baths.’”

“Which meant that, while he was in France, he would just sit naked in front of an open window in his living room while he did his morning paperwork.” – Gemmabeta

Catherine the Great had erotic furniture.

“Catherine The Great had a parlor room filled with explicit, erotic furniture she commissioned personally. We’re talking blow jobs carved into chairs, an end table where giant dicks’ torrential cumshots were holding up a marble countertop, a woman getting eaten out by a demon on a throne… homegirl had taste.” – OnWarmLeatherette

“It’s all been destroyed but holy sh*t look at this lol.” – fullofpaint

Going out with a bang, so to speak.

“French President Félix Faure went out via death by blowjob from a mistress.” – Ascribed_innovation

“He had a stroke or massive bleeding of some sort, it’s a bit unclear what exactly. Presumably the increased strain was too much for his circulatory system.”

“That’s what happens when you’re banging chicks in their twenties while you’re almost sixty.” – AntiChr1st

“If you die while nutting you are both cumming and going.” – Watamote_lover

Edited out of Anne Frank’s diary.

“Anne Frank’s diary talked a lot about masturbation, but most of it was edited out.” – waxmygwbush

“And about her lesbian crush on one of her friends.” – xandrenia

“‘Once when I was spending the night at Jacque’s, I could no longer restrain my curiosity about her body, which she’d always hidden from me and which I’d never seen. I asked her whether, as proof of our friendship, we could touch each other’s breasts. Jacque refused. I also had a terrible desire to kiss her, which I did. Every time I see a female nude, such as the Venus in my art history book, I go into ecstasy. Sometimes I find them so exquisite I have to struggle to hold back my tears. If only I had a girlfriend!’”

“Writing about her crushes on her female friend and the experiments she had with her.” – Ybuzz

We definitely won’t find any of this information in a text book, but thank goodness we have the internet!

There’s so much we don’t know that we don’t even know.

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People Who Work For The Super Rich Share The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen On The Job

Rich people, meaning those with an excess of money beyond the average person, will do some unthinkable things simply because of their wealth privilege.

Psychologically, people with incredible amounts of money often don’t see their own privilege. They think their wealth, and the lack of wealth in others, was simply due to their own morals, character traits and abilities.

The filthy rich are also at a high risk for depression because wealth can cause a relentless need for more that has been linked to unhappiness.

Redditor NeighborhoodTrolley asked:

“People who cater to the super rich; what things have you seen?”

We want to know what money really does to people.

They forgot a whole car.

“I’m a driving instructor and one group rented the track to drive their supercars for the day. At the end of the day they all partnered up and got into the cars to leave. After they were gone we realized that they had forgotten their Lamborghini Aventador at the track.” – skell15

“That was the tip.” – TheBokononInitiative

“If I had a nickel for every Lamborghini I forgot somewhere, I tell ya, I’d be rich!” – ShaughnDBL

“‘Dude… where’s my car,’ for the super wealthy.” – giddyup281

Just get it catered.

“Family friends were having marital issues. Their marriage counselor figured out a lot of their problems were over cooking meals.”

“The counselor reminded them that they are rich and can just cater all their meals, and it would be cheaper than getting a divorce. They listened to the counselor and now are happily married again.” – waterloograd

“‘Aren’t you guys like…you know…fabulously wealthy.’”

“‘…oh yeah, we’d completely forgotten about that.’” – Foxsayy

“This is some real curb your enthusiasm sh*t.” – emsok_dewe

“Until they get divorced anyway because someone falls in love with the at-home chef.” – bakarac

“‘Money does make you happy HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.’” – poopellar

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but poverty can certainly make you miserable.”

“According to a 2010 study, a salary of around $75k – money buys security, after that there’s no measurable increase in happiness linked to money.” – Fraerie

“Oxygen is a better analogy honestly.”

“You know when you don’t have it.”

“All your priorities immediately shift to getting it.”

“You want an unlimited supply of it to never think about it again.” – PhotonResearch

Wouldn’t spend money on coffee.

“Client was a mega millionaire in the 60s so even richer when I met him. He’d ride the bus to the office to have free coffee. Every day.”

“He was the founder of a company that had it’s named emblazoned on shipping containers being transported via big rig trucks in the states, but also international shipping and logistics. Came into financial offices daily for the free coffee. Didn’t even talk about his finances, just for the coffee and then would skedaddle.” – sunlitglo

“He probably grew up in the 30s and knew to be defensive with his money.” – bingboy23

“My grandpa is one of those born in the 30s people and they’re a weird breed man. He owns a bunch of real estate all around Seattle and he cannot refuse a bargain of any kind & would be the one to ride the bus to get free coffee. Probably has 50 million in properties but still goes to the thrift store 3x a week hunting for a good deal.” – slapstellas

“Old neighbour had 7-8 mil. in cash and lived off of cooking potatores once a week and burning both ends of matches, hadn’t gotten a toilet installed in his house, still used one in the barn.”

“Was more than 90 when he splurged on a radio and tv. Dude would have been unhappy living a ‘wasteful’ life.” – Chiliconkarma

Private jet for a dog.

“A woman who owned a small private jet business told me one time someone paid them to fly their dog (by itself) to NY for about $45,000 for some training. No other passengers.” – aticho

“It’s silly to imagine an untrained doggo trying to manage at the baggage claim.” – tdriser

“I’ve had coworkers (in avaition) fly across the country for a lobster roll and coffee beans.”

“The trip there and back probably cost 60k minimum..”

“Unreal.”

“Private aviation is unreal. Let’s say you fly from New York to South Florida. (About 3 hours…give or take a bit). That’s 6hrs round trip.”

“Private jets can range from a few thousand an hour to 15k plus. Our company has larger planes..so let’s say 8k/hr. Round trip TRAVEL is $48,000. JUST AIRFARE.”

“That is more than a lot of people make in a year and these folks are spending that on airfare.”

“Private aviation has gone gangbusters since Trump’s tax cuts…. Good to know it helped some people….” – Guppy-Warrior

“See, this is why I roll my eyes when they tell us we all need to drink through paper straws to deal with climate change.”

“The problem isn’t me drinking through a plastic straw, it’s freaking Rupert Léopold Farnzworth III over here dumping massive amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere just to fly Sparky across the Western Hemisphere for an hour of dog training and some lobster bread, while Jeff Bezos launches a damn penis into space.”

“The straw thing was a bad example.”

“But still, even if Private Jets are only a small percent of global emissions, you gotta admit, the people that own them are probably the same people running the 100 or so companies responsible for 71% of global emissions, and if they’re cool with flying cross country because they’re too snooty for a damn cup of Folger’s, they’re probably spending a lot more time figuring out how to get out of paying taxes than figuring out how to make their companies stop burning the planet alive.

“I got no problem trying to reduce my own carbon footprint, but it feels a little disproportionate if those guys aren’t doing jack about their sh*t.” – adamislolz

Quite the tip.

“Old high school teacher of mine is an extremely successful private tutor and does a lot of work in the wealthy neighborhoods in the area.”

“He told us once he was tutoring a kid and helped him get prepared and pass his college level physics class and at the end of their last session the kid told him to wait there and went into his dad’s office and came out with his payment and an extra $1,000. My teacher tried to deny it, saying it was too much but the kid said his dad asked him to give a tip.” – TexasFordTough

“I used to deliver Pizza and this big ass house was ordering 4-5 pizza every Sunday, the lady (a worker at this house) was giving us $100 tip. The first time, when I tried to refuse it, she told me the ‘master’ of the house insist on tipping $100 to the pizza guys.” – hos7name

“I tipped a pizza guy $100 once for bringing me a corkscrew. Not rich just drunk.” – rhet17

“Check out old fancy pants here, drinking wine from a bottle that needs a corkscrew.” – a**_scar

The shadow yacht.

“I live near a company that builds yachts. One day there was an odd looking yacht. A crew member explained to me that was a ‘shadow-yacht’.”

“You see, when you get hyper rich and have multiple yachts. You wouldn’t want to ruin the astetic of your nice yachts with jetski’s and helicopters.”

“Nor would you want your crew to sleep on the nice yacht. So you buy a shadow yacht to store your toys and to house your crew. This shadow yacht follows your fleet of nice yachts around.” – Doppar

“I was hoping ‘shadow yacht’ meant it used stealth technology or fought the pirates.”

“I am disappoint.” – HOA-President

A special sales person.

“When rich people want to buy a Jaguar in the UK they get assigned a special sales person who is incredibly knowledgeable, they meet in a special fancy office, and special arrangements can be made.”

“This was my friend Chris’ job, he had access to things that a normal Jaguar sales person wouldn’t have. Like he could ring up the manager of the factory for special requests level of access.”

“Well a Saudi Price wanted to buy this new Jaguar that had been released, so they met up and spent a full day specing the Jaguar out. I believe the final price was something like 125k for the vehicle.”

“Then came the decision for color, at the time the factory had 16 different color choices for this model. The Prince asked if he could sleep on it as it was getting late and almost time for dinner/prayer my friend Chris says of course and they set a time to meet the next morning.”

“The next morning the Saudi Prince is like, ‘I figured out an acceptable solution to my color dilemma,’ to which Chris goes, ‘And what would that be?’ the Saudi Prince goes ‘I’ll order one of each color’.”

“And my friend Chris is like, ‘Oh, well of course.’ They quote delivery time, Saudi Prince was fine and asked for his options and was presented with ocean travel options to which the Prince said, ‘What about air cargo?’”

“Chris thinking maybe they’d do 1 or 2 by air cargo and the rest by boat, the Prince was like, ‘No I want all 16 vehicles loaded on a plane, and flown to Saudi Arabia’.”

“So that’s the story on how 16 of the same Jaguar with different colors ended up being flown to Saudi Arabia. All in the total cost was around 2.5 million. Please note the prices should be £ not $.” – luther_williams

Gift giving as a form of love.

“I became personal friends with my boss and his wife; super nice people. The wife turned out to be an heiress and would buy me whatever I mentioned, like in passing during a conversation. I learned gifts were how she was raised to show love.”

“I’ve trained myself to only talk about things I already own, unless I find something useful she might like and suggest it for her.” – Lazya**bummer

“Can you talk about a new house for your new reddit friend?” – mollested_skittles

“I’m not super rich or anything, but I think gifts are kicka** and I’d much rather spend my money on a cool gift for a friend who can use it than on something extra I don’t need.”

“I was a software engineer while most of my friends are/were in grad school/med school/working low-paying jobs, so I’ve enjoyed being able to chip in or get nice things for them when they said they couldn’t.”

“I do always make sure they’re ok with it and ask if I can in advance so nobody ends up uncomfortable.” – Zephaerus

Down to earth rich people.

“My grandpa was a piano tuner. He couldn’t drive due to epilepsy so family would take him to jobs.”

“One day dad took him to a job and got talking to the owner. He said the guy lived in the biggest nicest mansion he had ever seen. Everything in the house was crazy expensive. But the owner and his wife were very down to earth and normal. If not a bit rough around the edges.”

“Finally his curiosity got the better off him and dad asked how they made their money.”

“The guy said he used to drive a truck and got tired of needing to carry around bottles of ketchup.”

“That’s how my dad met the creator of the ketchup packet.” – blitzbom

An acute sense of time.

“Some extremely wealthy people I have been around have a more acute sense of their own time and mortality, leading to impatience. Like they understand how awesome their lives are and therefore how short they feel.”

“I knew a guy whose vintage yacht broke down before summer so he bought another one strictly for that upcoming Summer. His reasoning was he likely had 20 full health summers left in his life and didn’t want to spend one of them without a boat considering he had the means to. Honestly can’t argue with that logic.” – cholula_is_good

“I am beginning to feel the awareness of being able to count the healthy years left and I’m not mega rich. Must be amazing to know you can pack those remaining years full of wonderful and wild experiences.” – Earthan

It’s wild to think that there are people out there, using their money to privately fly dogs to training or buying expensive cars in every color.

All the while, people are going on strike for better working conditions and fair wages across the U.S. Half a million workers walk off the job in South Korea in a general strike.

If we’re not paying attention to the ultra rich, we might end up in a real Squid Games.

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People Share The Best Life Hacks They Know

Life hacks have been the Pinterest mood board of the year ever since all we could do for 2020 was sit at home and figure out ways to make our lives a little easier.

Urban Dictionary tells us that a “Life Hack” is:

“A tool or technique that makes some aspect of one’s life easier or more efficient.”

Mommy blogs love them too.

Who said taking the easy way out had to be a bad thing anyway?

Redditor synthesezia asked:

“Reddit, what are your best lifehacks?”

Closet Hacks.

“Putting my clothes in my closet with the hangers reversed once a year. As I pull clothes out, I reverse the hanger. Every year I give away any clothes that I never took out.” – elblanco

“I do something similar. I put all the clothes I hang up each week on the left side of the closet, with each week sliding everything right to make room. Eventually the stuff I don’t wear makes its way to the right. That’s the stuff I ditch.” – keebler980

“Related to this, the most recent time I moved, I only took things out of boxes on an as-needed basis. After 6 months, anything that was still in a box got either thrown away or given to Goodwill.” – crazyeight

For those of us with a bad memory.

“When you need to remember to bring something with you, put your car keys on it the night before…” – drewlb

“What if it’s your car keys you need to remember… cries.” – Redditor

“I usually put things I need to remember on top of or in my shoes.” – nunobo

“Try a basket by the door, in which you always put your keys/wallet/what have you as soon as you walk in. This is what I do. I never lose my keys (I still do lock myself out of my car though. Usually on or right before dates).” – Redditor

Academia life hacks.

“Here is a lifehack for all of the students out there. If you are charged with writing a lengthy research paper, find one very solid source that directly pertains to your thesis, and then you can use that source’s bibliography to back into locating new sources.” – Fonix79

“One of my professors says that it’s perfectly acceptable and done all the time in academia. Furthermore, you’re under no obligation to credit the source you used to find the bibliography unless you use something directly in that article.”

“Last, but not least, they have already written out the bibliography entry for you!” – Anonymous999

“For anyone just starting university, or grad school, in a program where you will write many papers: put EVERYTHING you ever read or remotely think will be useful into a bibliography database like Endnote (for Word users) or BibTeX.”

“You can pdf almost everything to a massive folder and link to it.”

“Then, not only is the info at your finger tips for however long you’re in school, but the software writes the bibliography for you.”

“NO idea why schools aren’t teaching this alongside general advice on writing all sorts of term papers…” – dolichoblond

Avoid debt as much as possible.

“Never owe money on a car and never carry a Credit Card balance. It makes my life way easier and it is my way of saying F*ck You to the debt encouraging system we live in.” – cheddarben

“It’s amazing (and very, very sad) when you realize how few people actually do this.” – vtdweller

“I can’t agree enough with the credit card thing.”

“About 5 years out of college I had roughly 15k of credit card debt. I’d pay double the minimum and slowly work them down, only to run them up again when I wanted/needed something.”

“It took me three years, but I finally got it all paid off and haven’t run up anything higher than a thousand or so since then.”

“The trick is to consolidate. Put all your bills on one card.”

“Make sure to call around and get the best possible balance transfer rate for the longest. (I lucked out at something like 1% until it was paid off).”

“Then, take all the money you were paying on all the separate cards, plus a little extra, and hit it hard.”

“(For the geeky among you, imagine it as using a super-powerful attack month after month to reduce the health bar of your debt.)”

“It took about $500 a month, which made things tight, but doable.”

“The best part was that once the debt is paid, you’ve gotten accustomed to living in that -$500 a month fashion, and find yourself with an extra $500 in your pocket (or savings) each month.”

“So when you do want/need to spend, you’ve got the cash on hand.” – fffuuuu-na-mana

Get paid to use the toilet.

“Poop at work. You’ll be using less of your own tp and more of your company’s time.”

“I started going into the john to play games on my cell phone for 5-10 minutes just to take a break; while I was in there I’d pinch one out.”

“After a few weeks I realized that I hadn’t replaced my own tp at my apartment in a while.” – Redditor

“And you get paid for that sh*t.” – Redditor

“I prefer to call it ‘professional defecation.’” – De_Draad

“I did the math on this, I make about 30 dollars annually just for sh*tting.” – sambowilkins

Have an extra bag in your car.

“Back when I was 18-26, I always had one full bag packed in my car. It generally had clean underwear, a t-shirt or two, jeans, shorts, flops, and toothbrush/deodorant.”

“I can’t tell you how many times I’d just meet up with some friends and next thing you know it was 2AM and I needed a place to sleep. Having everything with me was awesome.” – ChrisF79

“‘What you invited Chris? Dude that guy sits around after everyone else has left and then suddenly is surprised that its 2am.”

“But no worries, he has a freeloader bag packed in the car. Hope you have lots of food in the fridge. You’ll need it.’”

“Just kidding.” – fdat

“Slightly different structure to mine, but I do something similar. Under the back seat of each of my trucks I have a roll of clothes.”

“T-shirt, pair of jeans, socks, and undies. The difference is, instead of a bag, I have it tightly wrapped up in stretch wrap.”

“It’s like kitchen saran wrap but we use it in receiving to wrap bundles / pallets. The benefits are it keeps it super compact and effectively watertight.”

“The times I’ve had to crack one open often have been because my current clothes got either soaked or dirty working, so nice and dry was a huge benefit.” – vetteboy

Meal prep is the way to go.

“Make lunch for work the night before.”

“1. Groceries are way cheaper than eating out every day – f*ck anyone who thinks you’re lame because you don’t have a Timmyho bagel or BK for lunch everyday. I’m saving 4-5$ per meal.”

“2. Not making lunch the morning makes the morning that much smoother.” – flatlander30

“I take the ‘make lunch for work the night before’ one step further:”

“Make the guts of your sandwiches for the whole week on Sunday. Sandwich your meat, mayo, mustard in between two slices of cheese, pop each one in a ziplock.”

“On your way out the door in the morning, toss in two slices of bread and you’re good to go.” – gertrude104

Eat before shopping.

“Never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.” – Redditor

“Or the reverse – always go when you’re hungry. I find I buy more grocery stuff, so my kitchen is more full, causing me to eat out less often. Larger initial investment, but overall investment is smaller.” – clunkclunk

“Yeah, but you buy sh*t that you would NEVER buy otherwise. It’s like picking up people when you’re drunk and horny….your inhibitions and judgement flies out the window and everything looks good.”

“Going shopping hungry is the reason that I’ve had a can of ‘gravy and meatballs’ in my pantry for two years.” – weirdboobs

Fear might be a good motivator.

“If there’s something big I want to get done, I tell all my friends I’m going to do it. The fear of looking like an a** helps keep me motivated.” – munificent

“That is how I quit smoking. In addition to telling all my friends and family, I put on my whiteboard at the office the number of days I went without a cigarette in addition to the last time I had one.”

“Last Cigarette: October 17th 2008 6:30 AM Time Since Then: <some value>”

“Every time I increased the number, I felt a small victory. At some point changing the value everyday just became a habit and somewhat trivial.”

“At 100 days or so, I started putting weeks instead of days.”

“Not only did it keep me accountable, people would occasionally see it while in my office and tell me ‘good job!’”

“While I knew they had no idea how incredibly hard it was to quit, knowing that people recognized my effort fueled me even further.”

“At some point, I finally stopped remember to change the number every Friday (70+ weeks).”

“Currently, I do not know how long it has been since I have had a cigarette, but I can tell you the exact time I had my last one.” – dulper

Getting out of bed.

“In the morning I practically jump right out of bed, go and wash my face with cold water. Then I jump back into bed and listen to music while I’m waking up.”

“I’ve found this a lot easier than just lying there waiting to wake up naturally. I can just hop out of bed right away, knowing that I’ll be back in just a minute, and then the water wakes me right up.”

“Before I used to do this I’d just lay there like a sloth, moaning in my head about how tired I am etc… I’ve found this trick to be a good happy-medium.” – cocasyn

“I set morning alarms ten minutes apart. When the first one goes off, I grab a piece of caffeine gum that I keep on my nightstand, chew it for about fifteen seconds and get rid of it.”

“Fall back asleep. When the second one goes off, getting out of bed is not only easy, but exciting.” – Redditor

“Definitely agree with this. Be sure to have a good pump up song on the ready to.”

“Something that either makes you smile or one you would have on at the gym. And I love a good face rinse, just feels…right.” – SloppyJoMo

“I used to have my computer set up to start playing a specific iTunes playlist on the stereo at a certain time. The playlist was exactly as long as I had in the morning and went from chill songs to more energetic.”

“Throughout my morning routine, I could always tell how I was doing on time by the currently playing song.” – munificent

We don’t always do things the easy way.

In a time where the little things can seem extra difficult given everything that’s been going on, we might as well take some advice from stranger and make our lives a little more pleasant.

Posted on

People Break Down The Most Likely Reasons Humanity Will Go Extinct

We all know the story of the dinosaurs extinction. An asteroid hit the earth and caused great environmental impact that wiped out their world.

When we think about our world today and what could possibly cause the end of human life, there’s so many more possibilities beyond an asteroid.

Some scientists predict it could happen in 100 years due to the crumbling political and social climates, while others believe it will be climate related which places the end of days anywhere between 5,100 to 7.8 million years from now.

Redditor TwoTimeToj wanted to know:

“What is the most likely to cause humanity’s extinction?”

This question stirred up quite the debate.

Our own doing.

“Humanity.” ~ LopensLeftArm

“This reminds me of the time last year May 2020. When due to lockdown, a lot of pollution went away, and then everyone on the internet declared: ‘We, humans are the real virus.’” ~ tadxb

“It’s not worth arguing because that alone will bring us to the brink. its us fighting ourselves.” ~ Moglist

“I like to think that when the baby boomer generation currently in charge of companies and politics all die off, we’ll be in a better world because the millennials will take over who have more realistic views and understandings and actually seem to give a sh*t about the future, having had such a hard time for their own futures.”

“But at the same time I know it’s just a dream. ‘Man, I’ve had it so sh*t for so long but now I’m in charge and can screw everyone else over to live a really comfortable, extravagant life I always wanted? Why change the wheel when I can abuse it too and live on a beach driving fast cars?’”

“Aaaaaaand nothing’s changed. Big f*cking surprise.” ~ Dynasty2201

“‘We didn’t start the fire, it was always burning, since the world’s been turning.’ – Billy Joel” ~ Guardanapkins

Some think it’s not that easy.

“I think people really underestimate what it would take to actually completely exterminate our entire species. We already bounced back from a population collapse down to under 10,000 once, we could do so again.”

“Nuclear war, ecological collapse, incurable disease; I highly doubt that any of them could kill everyone. Even if it’s just a few isolated pockets in the outback or the jungle that survive, that’s still not extinction.”

“Honestly, I think it would take a cosmic catastrophe (asteroid/comet impact, gamma ray burst, etc) to completely obliterate us and that assumes that it occurs soon enough that we don’t have viable populations outside of Earth.”

“I’m not for a minute saying that ‘Everything will be fine.’ If we nuke ourselves back to the stone age, or completely alter the planet’s climate such that agriculture becomes impossible, then of course human civilization would probably never recover.”

“The questions is explicitly outright extinction, which I think is big step further.” ~ GalacticNexus

“What’s the event that brought us down to 10,000 if I may ask?” ~ madmenrus1

“I believe it was a supervolcano eruption which initiated a mini ice age, correct me if I’m wrong.” ~ elik2226

A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

“A bad-tempered, bureaucratic alien species of space engineers deciding to construct a hyperspace bypass through our solar system.” ~ -o0_0o-

“I mean, the plans have been on display in Alpha Centauri for quite some time.” ~ itsf*ckingpizzatime

“On display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.’” ~ PeterLemonjellow

Genetic modification.

“I’ve always thought that humans will begin modifying DNA and making cyborg-like modifications to the human body until we reach the point that the concept of human will be so diluted that we will have to call ourselves another way, leading to the extinction of humanity as we know it.” ~ -exekiel-

“You should read the book Homo Deus basically the same idea.” ~ ZeusFarous

“The Omnissiah would be proud.” ~ ctank01

Climate change.

“Climate change, pandemics, etc will probably just make a dent of a smaller or bigger size. For an extinction level event, there’s fewer options:”

  • “Asteroid impact.”
  • “Global thermonuclear war.”
  • “Gamma ray burst.”

“…that kind of thing.” ~ arkaydee

“How about solar flares? What if there comes a solar flare that fries all electronics?”

“Suddenly, we’d have no transportation, no food because it relies on transportation, no running water, no pacemakers, etc.?” ~ 101st_kilometre

“We won’t go extinct, it will just collapse society.” ~ Elbonio

“Back to stone age.”

“Exciting.” ~ Entry-

“It won’t be the stone age. There is a lot of accumulated knowledge that would allow us to be way better off than any time prior to the 1800’s.”

“Just the idea of washing your hands before a medical procedure was revolutionary and not recognized by doctors until after the mid 1800’s.” ~ Alatain

“Can’t wait to get back to the good old days, when you cut your lawn using a giant lobster, and your shower was an elephant that complained a lot!” ~ TheAllyCrime

“If tech suddenly went awry there would still be plenty of people able to live in local farms. It would destroy our civilization but people would survive.”

“The only thing that would truly send humans extinct is the earth becoming entirely uninhabitable for us and the food we eat, like an asteroid boiling our oceans or something like that.” ~ tredli

Probably something so ridiculous.

“Probably the dumbest f*cking thing you can imagine.” ~ jks_david

“Like yogurt or giving cats opposable thumbs in love death and robots.” ~ fox_office

“The yogurt will leave us behind.” ~ uncalledforgiraffe

“At least we will be cultured.” ~ AdAny287

A rogue planet.

“Astronomical phenomenon like a rogue planet, or an asteroid.” ~ Tink2013

“I’m apparently fuzzy on the definition of a rogue planet. I believed they were simply planets that formed outside of or somehow escaped a star system.”

“Simply a planet without a star. How might that bring about humanities extinction? Through a collision?” ~ QiKS

“If one came close enough to disrupt our orbit around the sun and kick us out of the ‘goldilocks’ zone, we could die by heat or cold.” ~ spauldhaliwal

Ancient bacteria.

“Polar ice cap melts, releases bacteria from 5 million years ago and it’s p*ssed.” ~ tuscabam

“There’s a really good book about this. The trick is that it kills the livestock as well, transmitted by insects.” ~ KarmaEeleon

One just to lighten the mood.

“A.I. And by ‘A.I.’ I mean Auto Insurance.” ~ 6_String_Slinger

“Flo takes her job seriously. If you’re not on the plan, plan to die.” ~ yankstraveler

Whether it’s climate change or nuclear war, the end of humanity may come one day.

Hopefully, none of us will be around to see it.

Posted on

People Break Out The Best Facts To Impress A Little Kid

Little kids are incredibly impressionable. Their minds are still learning and growing, which is a prime opportunity to tell them facts that will absolutely blow their little minds.

Whether you’re a parent, an aunt or uncle, a cool older sibling, or another adult in their life, there are a few facts you can tell them that will make you seem like you know everything about the world.

If you want to impress a young person in your life, this list will give you facts of all sorts that may even blow your own mind.

A Redditor went to Ask Reddit to ask:

“What are some cool facts to tell a 5 year old?”

Take notes!

Watch them try to do the impossible.

“You can’t lick your elbow.”

“Then you get a good 5min watching them try.” ~ CriticallyNormal

“Nah you wanna tell them that you can. Then they’ll try for the whole day and get increasingly p*ssed off.” ~ harkat82

“Actually a lot of kids can lick their elbow. Since they’re younger and more flexible they can bend their arms in weird directions in order to lick their elbow.” ~ chickenugget814

“You’re absolutely right. I just tried it on my 6 y/o nephew and promised him that he could have my phone (he always wants to play games with it) if he could do it. So yeah, bye Reddit!” ~ ninjatoes36

If you’re happy and you know it.

“Astronomer here! Clap your hands once, and then clap them again a second later. The two claps were actually done about 30,000 miles apart thanks to the Earth’s motion in space!”

“I did the calculation once and interestingly most of the stuff you think of, like the rotating Earth or out orbit around the sun, is a negligible part of it. The real contributions are from our star orbiting the galaxy, and the galaxy’s motion itself in space.” ~ Andromeda321

“Is that the earth moving around the sun or the sun moving around the center of the galaxy? Hey, are we aware if galaxies are rotating around a central universal point?” ~ whohw

“The earth moving around the sun is much, much less distance at any moment than the distance we get from the sun orbiting the galaxy.”

“Galaxies do not orbit around a central point, but galaxies around us are heading in the direction of the ‘Great Attractor’ which is outside our visible universe. It’s probably just an even bigger group of galaxies.” ~ Andromeda321

A free, new pet.

“The ducks at the park are free, you can take them home.” ~ NotDaWaed

“I tried this last week. Park police were not too impressed.” ~ mavinochi

“I caught one when I was a kid! And that’s how I got bitten by an angry mama duck.” ~ ZarquonsFlatTire

“Gotta be careful with them ducks. Some belong in gangs n sh*t.” ~ mavinochi

The Pacific Ocean.

“Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.” ~ UWYO-Agent-7

“I just repeated Pacific Ocean several times in a really exaggerated manner just to be sure.” ~ AnRudIsAnamh

“Just told my wife ‘every c in Pacific ocean is spelled differently’… Whoops.” ~ Curran919

Numbers are weird.

“There are numbers below zero.” ~ Sergeant_Dimitri

“And other numbers orthogonal to the real number line entirely.”

“You might have to explain exponents/squaring things but some kids are precocious.” ~ 7788445511220011

“Are those imaginary numbers?” ~ rushingkar

“Yes. There might even be more examples that I’m not aware of tbh, but that was what I was thinking about.” ~ 7788445511220011

“Yep, we can get weirder. Real number exist in a line, complex numbers exist in a plane, and quaternions exists within a volume.”

“So, there exists a range of numbers orthogonal to both the simply real numbers and the simply imaginary numbers. Numbers above zero, numbers below zero, numbers to either side zero, and … hmm, before and after? back and forth from?”

“I dunno, I’m already disoriented.” ~ Haven_Stranger

Advice for dealing with bullies.

“If your being chased by a bully, run until there right behind you then drop into a ball and they’ll trip over you.”

“Then kick ’em in the d*ck.” ~ Lucidpotato666

“Did this as a kid. It worked SO well like it was a movie or something. I can still see him in the air.” ~ Mission_Huckleberry

“Will he ever land?” ~ PurpleVein

“That must have been one hell of a kick in the d*ck.” ~ striped_frog

Our top teeth may or may not be immobile.

“You can’t move your upper teeth.” ~ SNOUMANN

“Some other person on here said my upper teeth are moving at 30,000 miles per second.”

“Get your stories straight reddit. ComeOn!” ~ vitium

“My 7 year old can move one of her upper teeth- it’s loose and we’re waiting for it to fall out.” ~ linuxgeekmama

“Canadian dentistry simply consists of taking part in a hockey match where the offending teeth can be smashed out of your face by a large stick.” ~ imagine_amusing_name

“You can if you have dentures :D” ~ sodapopzero

Put ’em all together and what do you got?

“A group of zebras is called a dazzle and a group of giraffes is called a journey.” ~ Magicbean96

“Don’t Stop Believin’ this.” ~ termiAurthur

“I thought a group of giraffes was called a Tower…” ~ MyCatsAreDumb

“Eiffel for that every time…” ~ PawnedPawn

Today’s yesterday is yesterday’s tomorrow.

“We will never experience tomorrow as by the time it’s ‘tomorrow,’ it will be today.” ~Redditor

“You can say this about right now. There is never a right now bc once you even say it or think about it, it’s gone.” ~ thedopestantelope

“I keep trying to explain to my almost five year old that no, it’s not tomorrow now.” ~ linuxgeekmama

“Easy: promise you’ll take him to the zoo (or Disneyland or whatever) tomorrow. Then, every day: ‘Are we going to the zoo today?’ ‘No, it’s today. I said we’d go tomorrow.’”

“Eventually, they’ll catch on: My parents don’t love me. Also, the concepts of today and tomorrow. The important things.” ~ theAlpacaLives

It’s all in what you eat.

“Flamingos get their pink colour from shrimp they eat.” ~ cthullu-and-the-maid

“But how many shrimps do you have to eat, to make your skin turn pink?” ~ greccojunior

“I have never eaten a shrimp and my skin is pink.” ~ diablorious

We tend to think we know it all.

But sometimes we are learning just as much as the little ones in our lives.

Truly, we do learn something new every day.