Life Lessons That These 15 People Definitely Learned the Hard Way

There are some things you can grasp fully by being told, and others that don’t really hit home until you experience them for yourself. And sometimes, those lessons can really hurt.

But that’s how you learn, right? At least that’s how these folks did.

#15. Selfish idiots.

“Your friends don’t always make the best roommates. Sometimes the added costs of living alone are still cheaper than living with selfish idiots.”

#14. Don’t get cocky.

“Don’t get cocky if you win at life, because if you get too comfortable, it can get taken away in a matter of seconds

(Lost 3 people in my family in the same week, grades dropped immensly, dropped out of school, lost a good chunk of the friends I made that year).”

#13. Your whole life.

“If you don’t stick up for yourself you’ll get walked on your whole life…”

#12. The only minority group.

“Being disabled is the only minority group you can join at any time in your life.”

11. On effort and intelligence.

“There comes a point where effort passes intelligence. For some the point is early on in life. Others it may take a while for it to hit them.

Those gifted teenagers that don’t have to try very hard get used to not trying very hard. While others make a habit of studying and getting through. You will find that the less advanced kids outperform the more advanced ones due to lack of effort and apathy.”

#10. Nothing at all you can do.

“Even if a relationship feels 100% perfect and right to you, it may not feel that way to your partner. Along the same lines, some relationships fail not because you did something wrong, but simply because she/he wanted something else. In those cases there’s nothing at all you can do but let them go.”

#9. Wash properly.

“To wash my hands properly after cutting up chillies.”

#8. Just like the cartoons.

“When you step on the head of a rake that is facing up, it’s just like in the cartoons.”

#7. Toxic.

“There are some people out there who are toxic, and its’ OK to cut them out of your life.”

#6. It adds up.

“Don’t spend money on useless bullshit. It adds up.”

#5. No matter how hard.

“No matter how hard you work toward something, it still might not happen.”

#4. They are red for a reason.

“Do not ignore Red Flags in a person you are dating. They are there, and they are red for a reason.”

#3. Money is nice, but…

“Don’t take a job that you hate just because it pays well. Money is nice but hating your life is not worth any amount.”

#2. A car without gas.

“What a car without gas sounds like. It doesn’t always do nothing at all. Sometimes it almost starts, sputters and then dies. Got it towed before giving it gas and giving that a try.”

#1. Don’t be lazy.

“Don’t be lazy with birth control

edit: I should clarify that it wasn’t because i was lazy with taking birth control, it’s that i came from an ultra conservative background and birth control was nearly impossible to access it since I wasn’t allowed to drive and having friends i could trust to keep it a secret if I asked them for a ride to the sex health clinic 30 mins away. I also had no job, so It was even hard to purchase it.”

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This Extremely Lucky Mom Will Never Feel Bad Nagging About Car Seat Safety Again

If you’re a mom or have friends who are moms, you’ve definitely seen a picture of a baby strapped into a car seat pop up in your timeline at one time or another. There’s also a good chance you’ve seen one mom comment to another about how their kid is improperly or not safely restrained in their car seat. The straps, the adjustable head support, the clips…it’s a lot to take in when you’re a new parent (which is why you should totally get your local fire department to double check your installation!).

That said, most of us get the hang of things pretty quickly once we’re putting our precious bundle in and out of that seat, sometimes multiple times a day. Other people, though, sometimes don’t quite get why we’re so militant.

I know my parents always want to help by putting the baby in and out of the cars eat, and I know how many times I’ve had to correct them or check again once they’ve got him ready to go – and how many times they’ve exchanged looks, tried to tell me he was in too tight, or probably thought I was over the top.

The same is probably true of mom Rebecca Tafaro Boyer, who replied to this photo her husband sent of their infant son with some “nagging” feedback about how he was strapped into his seat.

She “nagged” him about William’s position in the car seat – the straps were too loose and the chest clip was too low (it should be nipple height), and felt sure that her husband listened and made the corrections.

Later, she would be 100% glad she hadn’t feltbad about her nagging, because the two of them were in an accident.

“David just didn’t have enough time to stop – it could have happened to anyone. He slammed on the brakes at nearly 50mph before colliding with the front passenger side door of her SUV. My precious little bundle of joy was so well restrained in his car seat THAT HE DIDN’T EVEN WAKE UP.”

Her husband and baby went to the local hospital to get checked out, and though William was fine, her husband did suffer a broken foot – but there’s no way to know if that would have been the case had she not asked him to tighten up and re-adjust William’s straps that morning.

“I am so thankful that my husband took the extra one minute that was necessary to put William in his car seat safely. I can’t even begin to imagine how different the outcome could have been. I truly believe that the reason my family is at home sitting on the couch with a pair of crutches instead of down at the hospital is because of my annoying nagging mom voice.”

So if you have one of those (I know you do, it comes with the baby!) don’t be afraid to use it when it comes to your child’s safety. Like Rebecca reminds us in her now viral post, “The car is a loss, but cars can be replaced – my boys can’t!”

No one can, so stay safe out there, friends, and remember that if your car seat has been involved in an accident, it needs to be replaced. Ask your insurance if it’s covered and get a new one!

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12 ‘House Hunters’ Jokes for Those of Us with a Totally Normal, Sane Budget

It seems like every couple of weeks there’s a fresh set of jokes online about the people looking for new homes on HGTV’s House Hunters, and let’s face it, they really bring it on themselves. Whether they’re complaining about cosmetic things like having to change the paint colors, freaking out about tiny kitchens abroad (duh!), or talking incessantly about having enough space to entertain (how many friends can a person have?), there’s no shortage of jokes, really.

But the jobs people have and the way they never seem to match up with the budget is everyone’s favorite joke – and these 12 are gold.

 

#12. How interesting.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#11. No biggie.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#10. You should get paid that much to help blind dogs.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#9. Only part time.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#8. “Laberdoodles.” Lol.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#7. Co-exist.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#6. At least they compliment each other.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#5. In all fairness six years isn’t a long time.

Photo Credit: Imgur

#4. MEAT.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#3. Both of these are unacceptable.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#2. I feel like the wife is already living the dream.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#1. Well that’s why he needs a new house.

Photo Credit: Twitter

 

h/t: Woke Sloth

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Act the Detective and See If You Can Solve This Devious Crime

Put yourself in the shoes of a police detective on your favorite show (bring your own sunglasses!) and try to solve this crime – you’ll need a keen eye to pick out the one detail that will give the answer away!

A Christmas Crime

Photo Credit: Brightside

It’s Christmas morning, and you’ve got a call. You drive to the address in question, ring the doorbell, and greet the sleepy apartment owner. When he asks what you want, you tell him:

“I have to carefully inspect your apartment. Your neighbor says that yesterday, Christmas Eve, he came to your place for a party. And while he was singing songs along with your family next to your Christmas tree, shining with multicolored lights, you broke into his apartment and stole a number of valuable items.“

The owner tells you:

”That’s not true! Our family celebrated Christmas Eve at our friends’ place. We went to them in the afternoon. I barely had time to decorate the Christmas tree before we left. We returned back home way past midnight and went to sleep right away. If you want, I can wake my wife and son up, and they’ll confirm all I’ve said.“

But you’ve already realized that his neighbor is a liar, based on what you’ve seen, and tell the owner to go back to bed.

How?

 

Continue reading when you’re ready to see if you’re right!

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The Exact Scariest Moment of These 15 People’s Lives

Some of these people have had some seriously terrifying, rough days. And to you, my friends, I offer a trigger warning – beware going forward if you’ve experienced any serious trauma (like suicide or other violent death) in your own life.

#15. It’s a void.

“An accident in which I lost 2 full weeks of memory. I have seen pictures where I’m in a wheelchair being pushed around the hospital by my parents and brother, I have my eyes open, I’m laughing, but I remember literally zero of it. Nothing. It’s a void.”

#14. They still scare me.

“I was at an airport and a woman’s leg got stuck in the escalator. I remember a lot of blood and her screaming and watching her pray to god as the paramedics wheeled her away.

Escalators still scare me.

Edit: I also just remembered another detail, people were pressing the stop button and it didn’t stop.”

#13. Glad to this day.

“As a child, around 12, I was walking back to school, from a tennis lesson. The route was around a km and some.

I just started on my way back, and this car soon comes by and pulls over. A senior, possibly in his late 60s is the only occupant.

He asks where I’m going, and if I need a lift. I politely decline, then he started asking other questions. Being oblivious, I answer him, discussing my father’s work, what my mother did with her time, and how many siblings I had. Didn’t think anything of it for so many years, till around 2 years ago, the memory popped up in my head.

Only then did the gravity of what was happening at the time come home. He was trying to familiarize himself with me, and in some way grooming me to see him as a friend.

I’m still glad to this day that I never got into that car.”

#12. It haunts and horrifies me.

“Watching my 7 y.o niece have her arm mauled by an 80 lb dog. Desperately smashing its head with a broken shovel to get it to release her. Having to use my hand to hold her upper arm to stop the loss of blood looking ar yee mutilated flesh. It haunts and horrifies me. Everytime I hear a child yell or scream I have a moment panic that goes to.my core. Every time I look at her arm I feel deeply saddened and sickened.”

#11. As dumb as I was.

“When I was 10 or 11, I was at the mall with my mom. We were in Venture, near the entrance to the mall. Some guy in his early 20s or late teens was standing there at the entrance, my mom a few aisles over. He started talking to me, asking if I wanted to go to the arcade with him. He claimed to know my brother, that he went to school with him. Me, being young and stupid, pipes up with “oh, you know _______ (my brothers name)”. He’s like yeah I know _______!

As dumb as I was, I was thankfully at least smart enough to go and ask my mom if it was okay. She freaked and went over to where he was, and of course he was gone.”

#10. Always wear a helmet.

“About two years back, I saw a live road accident involving a bike and a truck. The biker’s head was squished like a water melon. This was too disturbing to see. A human body in a shape like that. I will never forget that sight.

ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET GUYS!”

#9. The sound.

“A man jumped/fell from a building in New York and landed about three metres behind me. The sound when he hit, and the way he hit half on the sidewalk, half on the road, and his body had moulded to the kerb and just..spread out.

This happened in 1998 and I can still remember every detail..”

#8. Every time I think about it.

“Directly behind my house is a huge recreation area with miles and miles of hiking trails. People have gone missing there in recent years and they’ve found bodies there too. One day about two years ago I fell asleep on the couch accidentally and at like two AM, my dogs went absolutely crazy barking at the front door and they wouldn’t shut up so I got up to see what it was. There was a man standing in my doorway with the screen door already opened in his hand- like I caught him the second between opening my screen door and opening the door to my house, which I had accidentally left unlocked because like I said, I accidentally fell asleep. I was totally out of it and still half asleep so the situation didn’t really dawn on me and the first thing out of my mouth was “Oh, hey. What do you need?” Then I woke up and realized what the hell was going on and slammed my door shut in his face and locked it and called 911. The dude left and the police never found anyone. I obviously don’t know why that man was on my doorstep but the fact that he could have taken me into that park very easily and no one would have known until it was too late shakes me up every time I think about it.”

#7. So dang creepy.

“I was going through a hard time and needed money. I saw an ad in a local paper that said “buying musical instruments. Any condition. Call ####.” So, I called to sell my guitar. I talked to a man on the phone, and he seemed nice enough. He asked about the condition and what model it was and what not. He said he wanted to buy it and agreed to meet me at a guitar center near by.

So, I meet this guy in the parking lot and I show him my guitar. He asks, “why are you trying to sell your guitar?” I tell him that I am going through a hard time. He then says, “well, you could stay with me if you want.” I say, “um, no sir. Are you still going to buy my guitar?” He ignores me and says, “How about you jack me off and I’ll give you $50.” I calmly reply, “No. Are you going to buy this or not?” So he asks, “How about you watch me jack off in my car and I’ll give you $50.” To which I replied, “No! What the FUCK?!” I grabbed my guitar, went into the store and waited inside until he left.

He stayed in that parking lot for a bit too. So dang creepy. I called that paper and got his ad removed.”

#6. Life is a funny thing.

“When I was 22, just graduated college, I began my job search. Within the first 3 weeks out of college, I was lucky to find a job relatively close to where my family lived. I still lived at home to help pay off my loans, and as a recent grad, I was more concerned with getting a job than getting my own place.

My older brother and I are both very close, basically best friends. We decided to celebrate with a long night of gaming 3 nights before my “big boy job” started. He doesn’t live at home with us, so it was going to be some good ol’ online gaming.

I was planning on playing his voice audio over the speakers in my room, but it wasn’t working. My younger brother (16 at the time) was in the room with me and wanted to hear my older brothers voice. For whatever reason, we couldn’t get it to work because he would hear himself through my microphone. So instead, we were going to use a headphone method instead, both wearing headsets. We were seconds from putting those headsets on when we heard a faint scream. It was a strange sound, and we were unsure what was going on.

When we ran down the stairs (we were on the second floor of the house) we searched frantically for what that noise was. My parents were on the front porch with friends, so we knew it wasn’t them. The only other person who was home was my younger sister (~20 years old) who at the time was going through A LOT of dark times.

We both ran down into the basement, turned the corner, and saw my sister hanging 2 feet above the ground with an electrical extension cord around her neck. Chair was knocked over, and she was frantically clawing at her neck. Her face was swollen purple, it was a horrific thing to see. My brother FROZE, and I ran up and grabbed her, lifted her up on my tippy toes to give some slack to the cord, and yelled for him to get my parents. I had to yell a few times for him to finally go and get my mom and dad. She ended up surviving. When emergency personnel came to assess the situation, and take her to the hospital to check for brain damage and injuries, the first officer on the scene pulled me aside, shook my hand, and said she could have been dead in seconds. He said he was happy to finally come to one of these scenes where the person survived.

The story goes on from there. Had we not had audio issues in my room, I wonder how this situation would have been different. I mean it, we were seconds from putting on the headsets.

Life is a funny thing.”

#5. When I was thirteen…

“When I was thirteen I found my best friend hanging from a belt in my closet. I thought it was a joke at first until I pushed him and he started swinging. He had just knelt down and let it happen. I got him down and pulled the belt loose and there was a nasty mark and I think that was when I realised how serious it was. Ran and told parents to call 911. Ran back upstairs and could hear some gurgling noises coming from him. He was in a coma for a week but he lived thank God. To top it off a lot of people including his parents blamed me.”

#4. A BLACK MAMBA.

“Not as morbid as some of the others in this thread but probably getting stuck in the shower ( technically a wet room) with a black mamba while on holiday aged 8. That was pretty terrifying.”

#3. Four years later.

“When I was crossing a road and a car came screaming around the corner didn’t see me and hit me. This happened right outside my sons school. He saw the accident but didn’t know it was me ( I was in all black gym clothes ). Concision, head trauma, obliterated my left shoulder ACL and tore my ACL in my left knee. Huge bruise from hip to lower calf.

Hospital said they only thing that saved me was I didn’t see it coming so was not expecting it and was basically a rag doll. Turns out the driver was not insured, suspended license and the car wasn’t his.

I still shit myself 4 years later when crossing the road.”

#2. The last time.

“Finding my six week old baby deceased. Trying to do cpr on his obviously lifeless little body while on the phone with 911 while I listened to my husband and kids screaming in agony. Holding him against me trying to warm him and knowing this was the last time I would ever have him in my arms.”

#1. Never knowing.

“I was a freshman in college when I received a series of mysterious/threatening phone calls. At the time, I was pledging my fraternity and assumed that some of the brothers were pranking me. The calls always came from a restricted number. The calls were innocuous enough at first – asking me how I was enjoying the pledging experience, etc. Over time, they got more and more threatening, telling me that I was going to be murdered/threatening to hurt me. The actual weirdest part, though, was that the mysterious caller started calling random people in my life and telling them that I was in love with them (there was no pattern to who these people were and I was certainly not in love with these people). A lot of these people were men (I am queer but was deeply in the closet at the time and definitely no brothers knew that). I only found out because these people, many of whom I hadn’t spoken to in awhile, independently called me asking me why they were receiving these weird calls/voicemails.

Eventually, I confronted the fraternity’s president telling him to let the brothers know to knock it off. He was genuinely confused and assured me that no one was pranking me. Eventually, the calls stopped, but to this day, I wonder how the caller (A) knew so much about my personal life and (B) why he would invest so much time and energy into something so pointless. I genuinely hope I figure out who it is one day but have resigned myself to never knowing.”

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Mall Santas Share the Most Disturbing Things Kids Told Them…While on Their Laps

There are likely several perks to being a Santa Claus at the mall or department store. Not only do you get to earn a few extra bucks for the holidays, but kids are adorable and have a way of reminding us what the holiday season is supposed to be about (most of the time).

That said, kids can also be creepy…and sad because the world and adults suck sometimes. Just wait until you see these answers.

#15. Hey, Santa…

“Had a kid ask “Santa, what happens to all the dead kids toys”?”

#14. She does that every year.

“I was Santa for corporate holiday parties one year. I was in my 30s but used a spray for my beard. Looked lifelike, Kids dug it, so did one mom/aunt who threw a kid off my lap (hers, I hope) and whispered that she wanted Santa to fuck her from behind while pulling her hair. She didn’t seem to be drunk. I was very uncomfortable… Then the meeting planner told me she does that every year.”

#13. I wish…

“I wasn’t a santa but my roommate was. This was at a spot in east brooklyn, a super impoverished area riddled with a lot of drugs and violence.

He said it was disturbing how many kids had literally nothing, so they asked for the most basic things. Or they just asked to get out of shitty situations. He said stuff like this was common:

“I wish my mom would stop hitting me”

“I wish my brother was still alive, he got shot”

“I wish we had enough money for a microwave”

“I wish my daddy would stop doing heroin”

stuff like that was everywhere.”

#12. For the venison.

“I wasn’t a mall Santa, but I played one of his elves. I think the worst thing a kid ever asked for was some reindeer sausage. He figured Santa could slaughter one of his reindeer for the venison.”

#11. Creeped the hell out of me.

“Not a mall Santa, but my fire department does a Santa visit to all the houses in my town. We have a few guys dress up as Santa and we drive around going house to house in the fire engines.

One year when I was Santa we go to a house with a married couple and two kids. The woman is clearly pregnant. The daughter, about 10-12, creeped the hell out of me.

I asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she looks at her I assume step mom and says dead pan. “I want the baby to die ”

Jesus christ kid…..”

10. Get the deputy sheriff.

“I have been Santa for several seasons, I had a special needs young woman (approximate age of 40, emotional of 12 perhaps) ask me to make her boyfriend quit hitting her. I told a lady who was helping me to get the deputy sheriff at the event to come see me. I whispered to him what she had said. He came back 10 minutes later and asked if I would speak to her in a private area. There the deputy and Santa got a clearer but very disturbing picture of how she had been repeatedly abused.

In May the deputy let me know the offender had been sentenced to 8 years and the girl had been relocated to new care facility.

Edit: Thank you for the Gold and the praise. The real gold in life comes from doing for those that can do nothing for you.”

#9. A new dad.

“My friend’s dad used to be a Santa. He couldn’t stop crying after a shift one time. When we finally got him to say what was wrong he said a little girl told him she didn’t want any item for Christmas. She wanted a new Daddy who won’t touch her. Her dad was there with her. Friend’s dad had to enact the emergency protocols.

Girl didn’t want to talk to police about it unless Santa was with her. He heard some shit.”

#8. The magic was gone.

“Not me, not creepy, but a bit haunting. My dad used to be the Macy’s Santa (in NY). He had a kid come in who wanted his brothers cancer to go away. Brother came to the store too, a couple weeks later. Of course Santa has no control over these things, but being the Macy’s Santa has some power. He was able to get the store to let them come in at a special time and pick out pretty much whatever they wanted. It was magical, and he still has the pictures. He would regularly write to them as Santa until after the brother died and went to visit him as Santa before he died. Tried to stay in touch with the family but I think it was just too sad and the magic was gone”

#7. They don’t wear any.

“Years ago, I was in line with my 6yo nephew for his visit with Santa. When Santa asked my nephew what he wanted for Christmas, he said, “Could you get Mommy and Daddy some pajamas? Cuz they don’t wear any….” The whole line broke up, including Santa.”

#6. NOPE.

“Former mall Santa, even bought a professional suit because I hated the one they provided. I got a few creepy stories that involves, college students and adults.

Kids: A little girl no more than 5 was screaming bloody murder when it was her turn. Kids get scared of Santa, not that uncommon. Her dolled up mom was having none of her child’s tantrum and the Elves were pleading with her to not put the girl on my lap. She did and at her kid instantly stopped screaming. Just had this look of pure hatred at her mom for the remainder of the photo session. I swear, I thought I was on Candid Camera (before YouTube y’all) it looked so acted out. Attempting to talk to the little terror, I asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she looked at me and softly said just above a whisper, “for my Mommy to die”. NOPED myself to a break after that one. It was the inside joke for the rest of the mall Santa season, (whispering between kids) “I want you to die!!!!”

College Students: One rather lonely overweight gal kept getting in line several times a week to get pictures with Santa. I was in college myself back then and I’m pretty sure she was working herself up to asking me out. Extremely shy, awkward and had some hygiene issues. She only paid for one of the photos but the elves remember seeing her throughout the week when I wasn’t on shift. Apparently only got pictures with me.

Adults: I was in my 20’s and the perverted things the MILF’s whispered into my ear while sitting on Santa’s Lap were definitely something for the naughty list to be sure. It became so frequent for the younger santas to get groped, teased and molested that the Elves were told to stay close when adults got their pictures taken. Elf security to be sure.”

#5. Just sad.

“Just sad rather than creepy. Kid came in and wanted nothing except from a Matchbox car. He told me how every week he heard his mom sneak into his bedroom and take the pocket money (that she had given him) to buy cigarettes. I felt so terrible for him that I gave him 3-4 different presents, rather than just 1.”

#4. I broke the poor guy’s heart.

“Not a santa, but I remember being in hospitals a lot as a kid with serious stomach issues. I remember asking a mall santa if I could “get better and not die” once when I was about eight or nine years old. When the mall santa looked at me sadly and said he couldn’t do that, almost in tears, I asked if my old dog that died as a puppy could be brought back as a zombie so “we could both be dead together” and if I could “come back as a zombie too so I could stay with my parents so they wouldn’t be sad”. Looking back, that was really creepy and I think I broke the poor guy’s heart.”

#3. The worst thing.

“My uncle was a mall santa for a while.

He said that the worst thing he was asked for by a child was “Can you get daddy to come home?”

He also had quite a few kids tug on his beard (which was a real beard) to verify that he was actually santa.”

#2. Dream big.

“Never was a Santa, but once while being the Easter bunny I had a kid tell me “I wish I could poop chocolate eggs like you.”

#1. A grim one.

“This is a grim one. My ex’s dad owned a restaurant and I worked there part time in my late teens so I witnessed this. Christmas Eve’s were usually really busy, so to earn more money his wife came up with the idea to pretend to be Santa for a few hours on Christmas Eve and charge something like £2 per kid. This one dad came up to my ex’s dad (my ex’s dad was Santa. Not me) and paid the money for his kid and then went to the toilet with his other child (a baby) leaving the kid with “Santa”. “Santa” asked the kid what he wanted for Christmas, and apparently the kid whispered in to his ear “I want daddy to go away.”.

He asked the kid to explain why, and apparently the dad had beaten up the mother a few hours prior and had locked her in the shed in their back garden, before taking the kid and his baby sister out to eat because they had been crying hysterically and he was worried the neighbours would hear and get suspicious. “Santa” then asked the kid for his address, and told my ex (who worked in the kitchen) to call the police. I think some police went to the house, and then some turned up at the restaurant to arrest the dad. A social worker also came to collect the kids. We never found out what happened to them after that, but it ended up in the local paper and got loads of promotion for the restaurant.

Edit: I mustn’t have made myself clear enough. I wasn’t Santa, I was the waitress who witnessed it from afar (my ex got me a job at his family restaurant). My ex’s dad, aka the owner of the restaurant was Santa. I didn’t realise that this would blow up like it did and I feel like I need to just clarify that.

Edit 2: I love Reddit. You guys have managed to put some kind of magical Disney movie spin on the thouroughly depressing situation which I’d never considered before. Shit this sounds snarky but it’s not. I appreciate it, makes it seem even slightly positive.”

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