People Break Down Which Modern Day Bad Guys Will Get A Future Image Reboot The Way Pirates Did

Nostalgia is a wonderful thing.

We look back at the past through rose-colored glasses and decide the difficult thing we went through wasn’t really that difficult, or it taught us a valuable lesson, or it was the best moment of our lives.

Nostalgia doesn’t just work on events though, it can do a wonderful job at making yesterday’s villains the heroes of modern stories.

We see this all the time with Revisionist histories that take cruel and monstrous figures and morph them into benevolent and wise leaders.

With this in mind, Redditor YanTyanTeth asked Reddit:

“300-400 years ago, pirates were a terrifying force to be reckoned with.”

“Now they’re family friendly figures of fun.”

“What will be their modern day equivalent a few centuries from now?”

Society has a short memory.

“Bloods and Crips type gangbangers, motor bike gangs, hell in 500 years the memory of people like the nazis, bolsheviks, and Al Qaeda will be such distant memories people might like them.”

“People dress up as Vikings for Halloween.”

“Atilla Th Hun was a good guy in Night At The Museum.” ~ devilthedankdawg

The Irony is not lost on us…

“ISIS … Just imagine the irony of western kids playing with ISIS figurines”

“Edit: Wow thank you all for the upvotes and the award. I really enjoyed reading all your comments” ~watergate_boi

Revisionist history isn’t just for madmen!

“In 400 years cancer will be so cured that ever being seriously ill with it will be forgotten too. Then it’ll be inaccurately represented in historical stories whenever an illness is needed…”

“A: are you coming out tonight?”

“B: no sorry I’ve got cancer”

“A: ok! Well catch you tomorrow!”

“B: lol ok!” ~ Sell200AprilAt142

Two sides of the same coin?

“ICE and Immigrants.”

“Instead of cowboys and Indians.” ~ spderweb

Some took a broader view of the question.

“Possible.”

“The irony, though, is that we remember pirates fondly because at least some pirate ships were more egalitarian than their legal counterparts.”

“You were treated better by your peers on a pirate ship than on a privateer’s crew… at least, that’s what is commonly believed.”

“That isn’t true these days. Drug syndicates and gangs are just as ruthless as legal business corporations.”

“The sole good thing that can be said about illegal organizations, that can’t be said about some legal ones, is, I suppose, that they offer employment to people who would otherwise be complete outcasts.”

“But that’s not an artifact of them being good— it’s a consequence of our society being so sh*tty.”

“I think movies and books have an influence here.”

“Fiction requires balanced characters, even among your antagonists.”

“A bad guy with no redeeming qualities is lazy writing. But in the real world, people with no redeeming qualities exist— they’re not even uncommon.” ~ michaelochurch

The siren call of the Highway.

“Bikers in general.”

“They’re already being ‘diluted’ from predominantly (or almost exclusively) outlaw types into a subculture.”

“People who ride the traditional Harley and Harley-like cruisers already often dress the part, and try to give off an air of rebellion and counterculture, while doing things like charitable events.”

“We’ve had around 100 years of biker counterculture, and gone from the progenitors to the subculture I speak of. In another 200-300 years, I could easily see a ‘Jack Sparrow’ type biker character.” ~ Euchre

Some tried to give context to our fascination.

“Instead of looking forward, we should look back.”

“A lot of pirates of the past actually had political motivations/capabilities and commanded small navies.”

“Others acted as toll stations on popular sea routes.”

“Our views of them have been severely slanted by Hollywood. There were also several african/black pirates who became commanders.”

“We tend to think of most pirates as white, which was not entirely the case.”

“There also was an entire history of pirates inside the Mediterranean (Ottomans and Arabs) that has been completely ignored by history.”

We tend to look on pirates as dirty criminals who were ugly and disabled, when in fact many were competent and rich.”

“My feeling is modern elites don’t like to expose stories of successful rebels in the mass media.”

“Anyone who rebels in a movie or story has to eventually be suppressed, with the message being that you can’t win against authority ultimately.”

“You can go out in a blaze of glory, but you’re going to lose.”

“The movie ‘Outland’ is a bit of a sci-fi space pirate movie, or at least one where a security guard (Sean Connery) sets up a defense against a hit squad.”

“Other than that, there’s Han Solo, and maybe a bit of Captain Kirk.”

“Other than the, the future pirate story is pretty underdeveloped, but there are past pirate stories that would make great ‘yarrrrns’ as well!” ~ soundtrackband

Some fell back on the innocence of youth.

“In 6th grade I DID know they had something to do with hookers and I did a pimp voice/persona and all the girls at my lunch table called themselves my hoes and it was a big f*cked up joke that we all thought was hilarious.”

“Kids are messed up.” ~ Schnitzelgruben

We don’t even have to go that far back.

“Narcos, we don’t even need a century to know that, just how people idealizes the figure of Pablo Escobar and others infamous narcos in Latin America” ~ Molokon92

And…

“Yeah, the way they are presented is problematic.”

“At least movies like Sicario show the brutality of the narcos/cartels.”

“If anything, movies covering narcos/cartels should at most do what Godfather 1 and 2 did, where it was more matter of fact than glorification.”

“That being said, I wont fault a movie for glorifying the wealth and excess just like I didn’t fault Wolf of Wall Street.” ~ karsh36

Historical revision is a dangerous game.

We take the parts of our past we don’t like and paint over them so they’re a little easier to deal with.

The danger, of course, is we forget the past was filled with monsters to be learned from and avoided.

Be wary of false histories, but don’t forget to have a little fun along the way.

People Break Down The Life-Changing Items Available For Under $100

Tools make the world a better place.

Some tools are more vital than others of course, it might help to have a calculator but you can still do the math.

You may find it near-impossible, though, to talk to your friend on the other coast without a phone.

With the usefulness of tools in mind, Redditor KingPin1010 asked:

“What life changing item can you buy for less than $100?”

The nose knows.

“A nasal irrigation kit – either the electronic pump or simply the squeeze bottles.”

“I started using them both leading up to surgery on my sinuses, and I haven’t stopped using them since.”

“It takes some getting used to, but the relief and clean feeling is amazing.” ~kundersmack

The little things can make all the difference.

“Rice cooker.”

“That f*cker kept me fed during depression when I barely had the energy to get out of bed.”

“Takes less than nothing to get some rice in there and flip the switch.”

“Want something sweet?” Throw coconut and sugar in there.”

“Want flavor but can’t be f*cked to make anything? Get some Spanish rice or saffron going.”

“You can throw tofu in there with it if you need .”

“Yeah it’s not the best for you but hot food is better than no food.” ~ HotTopicMallRat

Or…

“New pair of socks.”

“If you’ve been wearing the same pairs forever like I typically usually do theirs nothing like putting on a new pair of freshly bought socks, you can totally feel the difference.”

“I never realized til was an adult sadly but I appreciate the feeling of new socks all the time.” ~ Spider-Mike23

Sleep is important.

“I thought that I liked memory foam and other fancy pillows, but the real life changer for me was a buckwheat pillow.”

“I have sleep apnea, and it allows me to get my head into the perfect position and keep it there comfortably.”

“Before you go out and buy one, please research the pro’s and cons. They aren’t for everyone.”

“Consider them if you like a firmer pillow, occasionally wake up with an achey neck from lack of support, and want a pillow that breathes well.”

“Someone in the comments has also pointed out that you will win every pillow fight you get into.”

“Downsides are: if you shift around in your sleep a lot, you’ll need to adjust the pillow to fit your new position.”

“Adjusting the pillow and settling in makes a little bit of noise as the buckwheat husks rub against each other, kind of like dry leaves crinkling.”

“Some people are also allergic to buckwheat, but there are other similar fillings such as millet husks. Organic fillings also need to be replaced once in a while, since it breaks down over time.” ~
Phosphero

Sometimes, it’s not about making the work easier – just more enjoyable.

“If you have a large lawn or a property that requires a lot of yard work get some 3M Worktunes.”

 “About $50 and they’re a combination hearing protection and Bluetooth headphones so you can actually hear your music without destroying your eardrums.”

“They’re a good gift too for anyone you know with a lawn or wood shop or something.”

“At my old house it was a 4-5 hour ordeal to mow and trim the property.”

“I’d likely have went fully insane without those.” ~ Kulladar

Though, sometimes it is about making the work easier. 

“A good shop vac.”

“You will not believe how many uses around the house you’ll find for it.”

“Cobweb removal, water removal, gravel removal, vent cleaning, soot trap cleaning, (after a good scrub since it’s likely dirty from other tasks) car vacuuming, dust sucking, the list goes on.”

“Seriously if you plan to buy or already own a home go get a shop vac.” ~
AZymph

The weight of the matter.

“A kitchen scale.”

“Completely changed my food consumption, since I could easily measure portions.”

“I learned what they actually SHOULD be, not what we in the US act like they are.”

“That + MyFitnessPal (the free version, even!) = Me losing 120lbs over 18 months and developing a much healthier relationship with food and eating.”

“Very simple tools, but great for enacting real, lasting change 👍” ~ missdolly87

Seeing clearly is the ultimate luxury.

“prescription contact lens”

“edit didn’t realize how many people would want to know where to order.”

“So far my fastest option is ordering from opticontacts.com they will only take a week or less.”

“Lens.me is another option with more exotic brands but they take much longer to arrive as they ship out of Dubai.”

“Neither will ask for a prescription from doctor. You just manually input your rx” ~ iamgeekusa

The real spice of life is convenience.

“Paprika recipe app and the corresponding software for your PC.”

“The thing is a miracle.”

“Not only can you download recipes from websites – it pulls the recipe and instructions out and leaves all the chaff (“My grandmother always told me when she made this apple pie that it reminded her of the time that ….”)”

“- But you can add ingredients to your grocery list right from the recipe, create meal plans and menus, and share access with another person (they have to buy the app too and use shared login).”

“It’s changed the way I meal plan, shop, and cook.” ~ 1workthrowaway

Don’t forget to hydrate.

“A Brita filter water pitcher and reusable bottles.”

“I cut out most drinks aside from water back in October and we were going through 2+ cases a week.”

“It was expensive, heavy, took up way too much space, and was such a waste of plastic!”

“I ended up buying a brita pitcher from walmart for about $18.”

“We fill it up 2 or 3 times a day and everyone has their own water bottle now.”

“When quarantine started and no one could find bottled water, but we were good!”

“There were so many positives to buying the brita pitcher that I wish I had bought it years ago!!” ~
Dutchie420x

While not every item on this list was the pinnacle of modern technology, they are all tools to help make our lives just a little bit more enjoyable.

Remember to take the time to enjoy yourself today, maybe even with a tool from our list.

Workers Divulge The Most Unethical Request Their Boss Ever Made

Most large corporations are built on a ‘leadership’ model that borrows heavily from the military idea of Chain of Command.

The top gives orders, which are followed with increasing levels of detail the further down the chain one goes.

The trouble is that the orders aren’t always proper – or even, in some cases, legal.

Non-disclosure agreements and general embarrassment often keep people from telling these stories but Redditor SethmAR15 decided to use the anonymity of Reddit to ask:

“What’s the most unethical thing a boss has ever asked you to do?”

Someone needed a break.

“Many, many years ago I was working as a part-time mechanic for a guy selling ‘restored cars’.”

“He called me in for an emergency brake repair on a TR-4.”

“One of the rear wheel cylinders had failed and he needed it fixed ASAP.”

“He had a buyer lined up with cash.”

“Instead of having me hone and rebuild the cylinder properly (I had the tools and the kit to do so) he wanted me to cut the pipe to the rear brakes and just crimp it over onto itself, enough to stop the leak.”

“He was in a hurry and wanted it fixed before the customer saw anything.”

“I fixed it properly anyway, so that no one would die, and then rolled my toolbox out of there that very night.” ~ limeycars

The benefit of the doubt.

“Also at Dollar Tree, most of my cashiers were teenagers or dipshits that never showed up for work so this older Korean woman kept getting called in to work the register.”

“She was pretty much getting 40+ hours every week and open season for benefits was getting ready to start.”

“My district manager called me and told me I had to convince her to not get any benefits or else.”

“I told him that else better be him doing that shit himself because I’m not about to do his dirty work.” ~Sol-Blackguy

An executive decision.

“Not me but my dad’s story.”

“1980’s.”

“My dad worked at a small mid-western bank as an executive.”

“One day a fellow executive comes in with several loan applications and says he needs them all approved.”

“My dad looks over them quickly and immediately realizes none of the applicants qualified.”

“If they approved them the loans would go into default within three months and these people would lose their farms.”

“My dad said it wasn’t possible.”

“The other exec says ‘well if you just fudge the numbers it is.’ My father tells him that’s impossible because other exec never walked into his office and they never had this conversation.”

“The other exec nods and takes the papers back.”

“Six months later the FBI raids the bank.”

“My father was the only exec who didn’t go to prison for fraud.” ~ BlackStarCorona

We’re trying to contact you about your car’s extended warranty.

“Similar but different.”

“As a teen, I worked at a car dealership in the service department.”

“At the time, there was a major recall for transmission repairs.”

“They would do fake warranty repair orders on cars that did not need it and came in for other reasons, and bill the manufacturer accordingly.”

“They had to order replacement parts to continue the fraud, and would tell me to take them to a storage room above the parts department.”

“It so happened on my last day there, an auditor was on site for routine audit stuff.”

“In the break room I told him what I knew and left.”

“Fast forward 3 months and the dealership was closed.”

“I probably wouldn’t have said anything if my boss hadn’t been such a dick when I asked for time off to attend my grandfather’s funeral.”

“He thought I was lying and I had to bring in the obit (pre-internet) to keep my job.” ~ RunMelba

Dollar Tree doesn’t play around!

“My old boss at dollar tree would make me drive her to the bank in my car every night.”

“And she would have me park like 10 feet back from the ATM while she walked up to it.”

“She told me that if someone ever tried to run up on her while she was depositing the money I had to run them over.”

“She said if they were too close to her to just hit her as well.”

“She was incredibly adamant that I absolutely HAD to do this and very serious.” ~ durkinbrowns

Expiration dates are suggestions, right?

“Back in a butcher shop portion of a grocery store I worked at.”

“The supervisor asked me to change the date on some burger that wasn’t selling.”

“The day she asked me to do this was the sell-by-date.”

“I even asked her if that was safe/legal.”

“She just tapped her name tag that said supervisor on it and said that was the only thing I needed to worry about.”

“I put new tags on all of the packages while she was there but I didn’t put them on the shelves.”

“After she left for the night I found the store manager and showed him.”

“I showed him the old tags, which were just under the new tags so it was easy to pull them back and prove it. He had me toss the burger down the trash chute and my supervisor was gone from the store by the end of the week.” ~ Nerdfatha

There are always more workers.

“Keep people at work when there was a chemical leak from the car painting shop next door, and people were getting sick.”

“The boss wasn’t on-site (almost never was), I tried calling him and got no answer, and I was the most senior worker on-site so I sent everyone home.”

“When I was almost home (1h+ commute) he called me back.”

“He had gotten my voicemail where I explained the situation and he was not happy.”

“Apparently we should have waited it out or I should have arranged for everyone to work from home (not possible).”

“The guy was a dickhead but this one still makes me angry when I think about it.” ~ipakookapi

Seeing is believing?

“Branch Manager (Banking) asked me to pose in a picture, showing a lot of cleavage, to use on his construction loan website for his builders.”

“He wanted them to ‘see’ who they would be working with in a daily basis so he could get more business.” ~ Hchel25

This sounds like an episode of the Sopranos.

“I had a boss ask to me take a bunch of stock from the warehouse to his personal storage unit, and not to ask any questions …” ~ TJDigital_

What’s a little illegal dumping between coworkers?

“Loaded unknown chemicals into the nose of tractor trailers for out of state transport.”

“I’m sure it was all illegally dumped. Just out of HS I had no idea the scope of what was happening.”

“Nothing was labeled, containers, trailers and manifests all claimed empty containers.” ~ Reddit

It can be very easy to just do what you’re told, to just follow the orders.

Remember though that actions have consequences and to be wary of anyone trying to slide those consequences off their shoulders—and on to yours.

People Share Their Craziest ‘Wrong Number’ Experiences

The telephone is a miracle of the modern world.

We can speak, instantly, to anyone we’d like no matter the time of day or distance.

A little over a hundred years ago, this would have been considered science fiction.

Of course, not every call placed gets to the intended recipient.

Redditor cowgary decided to find out how strange these misdirected calls could be when they asked:

“What is your strangest wrong number story?”

Some calls were born of good news.

“I got a call at like 6 am, and I was still sleeping so I kind of didn’t understand what was happening- but this person was SO EXCITED to tell me that they got the new job.”

“And they recognized I was still half asleep so they said they’d call me back later, and said ‘I love you’ – I just said ‘I love you too, I’m glad you got the job’.”

“I absolutely did not know that person and they never called back, but I think of that call all the time.”~ boobookittyf*ck28

Maybe it wasn’t a wrong number after all.

“An old friend of mine got a wrong number text from a mother responding to an ad about a used electric wheelchair for her child.”

“For some reason, he used got a lot of wrong number texts. He would usually have a little fun with the sender before telling them they had the wrong number, and share it on social media.”

“But this time, he didn’t mess with her (obviously).”

“He posted it on social media and asked around if anyone knew where to find a used electric wheelchair.”

“The mother couldn’t afford a new one. It got a lot of attention, but nobody could find one for sale.”

“After a couple days of no luck, anonymous donors bought and donated to them a brand-new electric wheelchair.”

“More heart-warming than strange, but a good story either way.” ~ Buckle_Sandwich

A shared moment in time.

“I called a wrong number when I was in high school (I am a male and 43 now) and a teen girl answered.”

“We quickly realized it was a wrong number but started having a little fun banter.”

“She seemed really cool and funny and so we kept talking.”

“I asked her what she was doing and she said she was watching OJ Simpson in a police car chase on TV.”

“I turned it on too and together we talked for an hour and watched the slow-speed chase of OJ in the back of the white Bronco.”

“At the end, we laughed that we had shared that together and then said goodbye. I don’t remember her name or anything but it was a really memorable night.” ~Imaginary_Worth682

Party time! 

“I was home for from college for Christmas break around 2014, and ended up chilling downtown with a few buddies from high school who were also in town for the holidays.”

“While hanging out, I received a group text with a bunch of numbers I didn’t recognize.”

“The message was a group picture with people who were obviously at a Christmas party.”

“I made the only logical choice and immediately sent a selfie back with the message ‘wrong number’.”

“The rest of the people in this text absolutely loved this and responded with ‘hahaha’s’ and ‘you’re kinda cute’ texts until one person said ‘You should come to our Christmas party’!’

“The party was only a few blocks away from where I was hanging out, so I left my friends and went to the party.”

“I find the apartment, walk in, and it had a “record scratch moment’ like from a cheesy 90s movie.”

“Everyone goes silent stares at me: I am the only white person there.”

“After a few seconds the host shatters the silence with the shout: ‘It’s wrong number guy’!’

“We end up doing shots and partying for The next few hours! By far the BEST wrong number experience ever!” ~ monty2

The G-Files.

“Got a call from a government agency, FDA maybe?”

“Anyway the first thing the lady says to me is, ‘We got a call that you have a problem with goats?’ “

“I’m like no, sorry, wrong number.”

” ‘Are you sure you don’t have a goat problem?’ Nope. ‘Ok thanks, sorry about the confusion’.” ~ Thac0_is_Zero

Behold the power of Snacks.

“So… I got this group text about a break room installation. It showed snacks, coffee, etc. It looked beautiful.”

“I responded with a text of my office break room. It was sad sight. No coffee or snacks.”

“I got a response about how it was a company who does that service. We scheduled a visit to my office to sample the snacks and coffee.”

“The branch manager LOVED the coffee. He ordered a completed redo of our break room; snacks, coffee, etc.”

“I don’t work their anymore but… “~ Askirby

A grim coincidence.

“Years ago, while I was living at home, I got a phone line for my computer (yeah, I’m old), but also had a phone connected to it, because phones are cheap.”

“My parents’ room was all the way across the house and upstairs, so they’d call me sometimes instead of walking all that way.”

“One day, in our sleepy little town, some guy killed his wife, shot his kid, and drove into town shooting at random people and buildings.”

“He was killed in a shootout with police at the main intersection in town.”

“He happened to have the same first name as me. At some point during the investigation, they contacted my mom, because she’d made a call to his house shortly before he went on his rampage.”

“As it turns out, his phone number was the same as mine, but with the last two digits reversed.”

“My mom called him that day, and just said ‘<First Name>, get up here, I need help.’ then she hung up.”

“Since I never showed up, she got my brother to help her with whatever it was and forgot about it until the cops showed up asking how she knew the crazy guy.” ~ Wadsworth_McStumpy

Extra crispy.

“Not me but a friend of mine.”

“Gets a text one day that simply says ‘Dan I burnt the chicken.’ Alongside a picture of an almost comically huge fire with a burnt chicken in the center, shoved into a pan that was way too small.”

“This was followed by a stream of increasingly panicked texts about the chicken.” ~ Chancellor_Valorum82

Phone number reincarnation.

“Bought a cell phone you pay by the month.”

“Basically a burner phone, but I only had that one.”

“Bought it at a BestBuy when I was out of town. 3 hours away from home. Same state.”

“2 days later I get a random text from a friend on the new number. I didn’t give anyone my new number yet.”

“Turns out the number I had was a recently old number from a mutual friend. So all my friends had my number already. Just had to update the name. Weird sh*t.” ~ newtizzle

And lastly, the spice must flow.

“Had someone text me for meth.. I think.. They called it ‘cream’ which returned meth in google.”

“Anyway, I didn’t really care but I couldn’t assist them. I responded with a random cop selfie & the message ‘wrong number.. don’t do drugs’.” ~ Mr_Beemer

The telephone is a miracle of the modern world, sure.

But sometimes the real miracle is ever getting in contact with the person you were trying to reach in the first place!

Be sure to check the number and dial again.

Though, clearly, some wrong numbers are just the start of fantastic adventures.

People Break Down The Most Savage Backhanded Compliments They’ve Ever Heard

We are, to our knowledge, the only species on earth that uses complex language and as such the only species on the planet that uses insults.

Can’t really go around just insulting everyone who gets on our nerves though, so we developed a work-around that saves face while also taunting someone else.

According to Idioms.online people have been using backhanded (or left-handed) compliments since the late 1800’s.

Good to know we’re a consistent species.

Some people just want to use a compliment to get past the defenses we naturally erect around ourselves. Others just want to be mean.

Of course, not every suspect compliment comes from a negative place—often it’s just a matter of poor word choice or bad timing.

Complimenting someone’s hair just after they failed to get it the way they wanted it can hit a bad nerve real fast. No, we don’t speak from experience, why would you think that?

There are times, though, when a compliment working double-duty as an insult is the only way to get someone’s attention—to call attention to poor behavior for example.

Redditor cybersans wanted to see the best ones, so he asked Reddit:

“What’s a compliment but an insult at the same time?”

Age comes for us all?

“You must have been beautiful when you were young” ~905marianne

“You look good for your age.” ~ superspud0408

Judging people by their looks is always complimentary, right?

“You’re actually not as dumb as you might appear” ~ TrumpHairedHarambe

“You’re beautiful in your own way.” ~ CIoud_Wolf

“You’re much prettier in person.” ~ plutoforprez

And…

“You move well for someone of your size. ~ ReesieVA

“You don’t sweat much for a fat lass.” ~ Novack_and_good

Also…

“Wow you’re so brave going out in public like that! I would’t be able to do that if Iooked like that, I am not strong like you!” ~ oursider

Not wrong.

“You clearly don’t care about what the haters say” ~ Helpful-Meringue-735

“A girl I used to work with looked at me one day and said, ‘I love how you’re not embarrassed by your laugh’.” ~ Redditor

Timing is everything.

“This happened to me! I’m very slim.”

“One day I was about to hook up with a guy and we were getting undressed when he started giving me tips on what I should eat to put on weight.”

“When he saw my reaction, he tried to dig himself out of the hole by saying ‘don’t worry, I like you for your personality’.”

“He was so surprised when I put my clothes back on and asked him to leave!”

“He later texted me he was just trying to be nice and wanted to give me advice about my diet because he works as a fitness trainer and knows a lot about nutrition 🙈.”

“He also said I was too sensitive 😆” ~ Economy-Vanilla-967

Nothing beats the south for polite insults.

” ‘Bless your heart’.”

“The ultimate Southern compliment and insult in one package.”~ GALINDO_Karl1

There’s nothing wrong with comfort.

“Your clothes look comfortable.” ~ observantpariah

Some people got into the meaning behind the “compliment.” 

I just got a Master’s degree in Physics.”

“I wear makeup when I go out and dress cute girly.”

“A lot of people tell me that they couldn’t believe I was doing physics. ‘Oh, you’ve got beauty and brains’ They basically mean two things:”

“People who do STEM subjects are supposed to look bland and unattractive.”

“They assumed I must be dumb just because I look girly/feminine.”

“Ugh!” ~sriracha_97

Others were confused. 

“ ‘You look so pretty for a lesbian!’ ”

“The f*ck is that supposed to mean?“~introverted_lesbian

Sometimes, it’s not the words but the context.

“‘Ohh, you’re/she’s/he’s very pretty’ when someone is doing/saying something stupid” ~ Impenetrabletoad

Fashion is the highest form of bravery.

“You’re brave for wearing that.” ~ Big-Ambitions-8258

What would a compliment be without casual racism?

” ‘you’re pretty for a black girl’ “ ~ chivalrousninjaz

I guess she’s supposed to say thank you?

“You know, you aren’t the type of girl I usually go for”~ Kritisk_

“Wow, you really clean up nice.” ~ cactusbishh

Subverting expectations often leads to some poor word choices. 

“Lol, this reminds me of a conversation with a coworker I once had.”

“He’s a real muscle-head and is always hitting the gym, whereas I’m the opposite.”

“I’m average height and was just under 300lbs(at that time).”

“Somehow we got to talking about weight, can’t remember what his was but he was shocked at mine!”

“His words after hearing I was close to 300lbs….”B*llsh*t! I’ve never seen a 300 pound person move like that!”. I couldn’t help but laugh.”

“The thing is, he’d seen me casually hop off 4-5 foot high loading decks with ease.”

“And I never had much issues keeping up with him.”

“Since then I’ve started working on my weight (totally unrelated to this exchange) and have lost about 50 lbs. Slow progress, but progress nonetheless.” ~ RedBeardedMex

It would’ve been fine if they’d just stopped talking.

“An old ‘friend’ once said to me ‘your hair looks nice…for once’ “

“I cut her out a few months later for being a shitty person” ~ theginger_buffalo

“You’re really cool. Not at all how I thought you’d be when I first met you.” ~ leese216

Several Redditors even provided a handy template.

“Anything that goes by the standard:”

“You are [insert compliment] but you are also [insert insult]. Should do the trick” ~ YikesMaAssFellOff

“You’re *insert a compliment* for a *insert race*” ~ BastardousHuman

“Phrases like ‘with all due respect’.” ~ Prestigious_Skill_20

Backhanded compliments are often a way for people to save face while also putting another person down.

Of course, the compliment isn’t always meant as a sly insult, sometimes the words just come out wrong, or the meaning gets lost along the way.

Always be aware of what you’re saying to the people you care about, but also be mindful of the way in which you say it.

Compliments can do wonders for someone’s self-image or as a way to pick up their day – but a misspoken word or some hesitation in the wrong place can do just as much damage.

A turn of a phrase can move someone to excitement or dash their hopes.

The proper phrasing can ease someone’s mind or cause them to panic.

People Imagine Which Species Would Rule Earth If Humans Didn’t Exist

Humankind has walked the world for just about 6 million years.

In the 4 Billion year lifespan of the planet, that’s practically a newborn.

Of course, we’ve been busy.  We built cities and highways and slowly became the dominant lifeform on this little blue world.

Using our opposable thumbs and massive brains we cultivated the land and conquered the oceans.

We spread through the whole world until our species could be found on every continent.

Humans lucked out in the evolutionary war.

We had the right biology, the right temperament, the necessary mix of ingenuity and tenacity required to claw our way to the top of the food chain and stay there.

However, what if things had gone a wee bit differently?

Redditor Mompkey wondered this very thing on Reddit when he asked: 

“Which species do you think would be dominant if humans didn’t exist?”

I would welcome our lupine overlords.

“Wolves. They can, and have, successfully adapted to most of the various biomes on the planet. There’s a reason we domesticated them and took them everywhere with us.” ~ CedarWolf

Some guesses stayed very close to genetic family tree.

“The ‘Pongo’ lineage (orangutans and related species) radiated throughout Africa, Europe, and Asia, before humans (or any other homo or pan species).”

“Many of them were ground dwelling (such as Sivapithecus, in India, for example).”

“If it weren’t for humans (a speciation of chimpanzees; the pan genus), the Pongo genus (specifically a species similar to or such as Sivapithicus; many fossils have been lost and there were definitely more species than we know about).”

“And its various species, would have been the dominant genus, based on the following reasoning:”

“What makes human beings the dominant species is – “

“(1) the combination of opposable thumbs and upright posture, and,”

“(2) sophisticated communication, including oral, and written language.”

“Many other species have oral language, and those languages have not been studied.”

“However, no other species have written language.”

“Written language allows complex ideas (sophisticated technology) to be passed down multiple generations later, so even if nobody that person directly interacted within their lifetime was able to duplicate what that person did,”

“(Say build a chariot, create gunpowder, etc.) someone multiple generations later could read a book and figure it out if they had the desire to.”

“Besides Pongo and Pan, there are various other species of monkeys who could have eventually reached the niche human beings ended up filling.”

“Most of the other primate species are tree-dwelling to such an extreme extent that they’d be unlikely to be very ‘dominant’.”

“Other than possibly other monkeys or apes, that title would end up going to some dog, cat or bear species (tigers, grizzlies, wolves, for example, not including many megafauna which went extinct when humans came into contact with them).”

“An argument could also be made that diseases are more dominant than humans.” ~ Longjumping_Emu_1297

Or,

“Wouldn’t it be just another off shoot of humans like the Neanderthal or heidelbergensis?” ~ SnooHesitations8174

In some instances, size does matter. 

“Elephants.”

“Nobody f*cks with elephants” ~ amarghir1234

But not always.

“Probably ants tbh.”

“They just seem like they already took over the world in masses and are everywhere.” ~ItsLenTastic

“Free Willy” would have been a very different movie.

“Orcas.”

“Definitely f*cking orcas.”

“Not only are they smart, they also are apex predators who f*ck up even the strongest of sharks.”

“They have been known to yeet seals 80 feet out of the water.”

“My bets are on the murder oreo.” ~ BigCut5442

Of course, not everyone seemed on board with the assignment.

“Humans are the only species that seek to dominate others.”

“Other animals just want to live in the balance of nature. They’re just trying to survive, they don’t have time to take over the world.” ~ Nisa4444

Others gave multiple guesses.

“1. None.”

“Intelligence is not a goal of evolution.”

“Survival in nature is achieved mostly by being faster, bigger, gathering in numbers, having more offspring, bigger claws, etc.”

“More, not better.”

“Intelligence is only useful for physically weak, highly sociable opportunistic omnivores that are in the middle of the food chain, needing to hunt and avoid being hunted at the same time.”

“Like our ancestors.”

“Human intelligence is a product of the extremely competitive and dangerous environment in which the hominins evolved.”

“They had to outsmart their competitors and prey, take every little chance they had at survival and then some, be tough af.”

“It also helped having appropriate appendages for creating tools, a carnivore diet to feed a bigger brain, etc.”

“It was basically a perfect storm that created humans.”

“2. Another ape. For the same reasons as above.”

“3. Raccoons. They are sociable, opportunistic omnivores, have tiny hands. That would be cute.” ~holeontheground

Flight would be a great advantage.

“Corvids particularly Crows.” ~Outrageous-Monk-6281

This is solid logic.

“Chickens.”

“They just look like they know sh*t.” ~ Morfa_

Whoever has the most teeth, wins.

“Sharks, they are the dominant species on 3/4 of the earth’s surface already, they have survived mass extinctions and would thrive even more without humans mucking up their habitat.” ~ Who_Wouldnt_

Clearly, there were other contenders to the throne.

The dinos could’ve had their shot had they not been taken out early.

Size doesn’t always mean a winning score on the evolutionary battlefield though—after all we’re hardly the biggest animals.

There were lots of suggestions from the mammal kindgom but insects, birds, reptiles and fish had a few strong contenders as well.

What do you think?

Had our luck been a little worse, or our timing a little off, might we have been usurped by bats?

By shrews?

Perhaps it wouldn’t even be an animal that evolved to dominate the world but a plant?

These sort of theoretical puzzles aren’t just for fun, they can open us up to possibilities that we never would’ve considered before.

“What if we hadn’t been the dominant life on Earth” could just as easily be “What if we explored the world” or “What if we could harness electricity.” The answers to those questions had a major impact on our species.

That’s the real power of our species, after all, the ability to think outside our experience and dream of more.

The infinite possibility of “What if.”

People Debunk The Most Commonly Believed ‘Facts’ That Are Actually Untrue

The line between truth and fiction can be a difficult one to find sometimes.

We are bombarded by dueling viewpoints a thousand times a day and it can be challenging to pick out what information is real, and what is just believed because it’s been repeated so many times.

In an effort to root out some of the falsehoods we believe, Redditor and Original Poster (OP) Mutating_Mammal asked:

“What are some common ‘facts’ that people believe to be true even if the existing evidence states the contrary?”

This theory doesn’t hold any water.

“Camels don’t use their humps to store water.”

“They use them to store fat reserves., Because storing fat reserves around the body like humans would keep them too warm, so they have it all in one spot.”

“Edit: since the day metabolizes as water and CO2, it is in a way a water source.”~ Cielbird

Speaking of water…

“Oooh, my time to shine.”

“I used to test pool water/hot tub water as a part time job.”

“This is what I learnt from reading the material that the company gave me, but my advice always seemed to work so I think it’s pretty solid.”

“There are two types of chlorine: Free Chlorine and Combined Chlorine.”

“Free chlorine is generally odorless in the pool.”

“It’s the chlorine that can attack bacteria.”

“Combined chlorine is chlorine that has already attacked some type of bacteria.”

“All it just stays in the pool and doesn’t do much.”

“That combined chlorine can make your pool smell like chlorine, or even make your pool cloudy.”

“If a pool smells like chlorine, it has too much combined chlorine.”

“To get rid of it, you need some type of oxidizer.”

“Like a calcium hypochlorite or something along those lines.”

“So in other words. Even if a pool smells horribly like chlorine, it can still be very unsanitary and unsafe to swim in.”~ Fangore

It doesn’t add up.

“That Einstein was a bad student, and was bad at math.”

“It’s just not true.”

“He got average-high marks, and was really just disdainful of the structure of school.”

“And he was good at math. Physics is like 90% math.”

“I get why people share it, it’s to make struggling students feel better about themselves, but can’t we tell them about something else instead of lying?” ~ nonfiction42

Honesty isn’t an official policy.

“People still think an undercover cop has to tell you they’re a cop.”

“How does that even make sense?”

“Months of preparations ruined on the first day because someone happened to ask the magic question.”

“Cops are allowed to lie to you and they will pretend to be your friend to get what they need from you.”

“Side note: Even if you’re innocent of a crime, the first words from your mouth should be ‘I want a lawyer.’ and you don’t provide any information until you have one.”

” ‘Anything you say CAN and WILL be used AGAINST you in the court of law.’ ” ~ sc0n3z

Never wait.

“It is rarely necessary to wait 24 hours before filing a missing person report” ~ emil199

There are, apparently, lots of water-related myths.

“A person drowning is not likely to be flailing wildly and yelling like in the movies.”

“Drowning can often happen with mostly silence, especially with kids.”

“Read up on the signs, it might save a life.”

“I was drowning and lost consciousness when I was 5, I was told I barely made a sound.”

“I went under, sucked in lungs full of water when I tried to cry out in surprise and blacked out.”

“If it wasn’t for my dad’s instincts and quick action I’d be dead.” ~ Guitar3544

Pack mentality.

“Alpha theory in dog training.”

“The researcher that originally described the dominance theory was watching captive wolves at a zoo- a pack that was artificially created from unrelated specimens.”

“The hierarchy in this curated collection was determined through fights and struggles for dominance and this dynamic was then applied to domestic dogs and how they view themselves in relation to humans.”

“This drove the ‘dominate your dog’ style of training popular with Cesar Millan and his acolytes.”

“When the scientific community was able to observe a wild wolf pack, however, they discovered that wild packs are family units and operate much the same way with a parental breeding pair at the top and their younger offspring forming the pack, sometimes several litters at a time.”

“As the pups grow older, they break off and form their own packs.

“The researcher that dismantled the theory, David Mech, described it thusly:”

” ‘Attempting to apply information about the behavior of assemblages of unrelated captive wolves to the familial structure of natural packs has resulted in considerable confusion.’ “

” ‘Such an approach is analogous to trying to draw inferences about human family dynamics by studying humans in refugee camps.’ “ ~ Still_Mighty

Speaking of animals…

Chicken is cooked when it is no longer pink and the juices run clear.”

“In fact, it’s cooked when it hits 75C (165F) and that’s it. What it looks like depends on the cut.”

“Chicken breast often has significant pink in it when it hits the temperature, which is why most people complain about dry boring chicken, because they overcook it.”

“On the flipside, wings can look cooked when they aren’t, which is why they’re a major source of food poisoning.”

“The most important thing I learned working in a commercial kitchen.” ~ aegeaorgnqergerh

A hard day’s work.

“People have a misconception that we work less today than we have throughout history.”

“In actuality, hunter-gatherers worked an average of 3 to 5 hours a day.”

“Ancient civilization farmers only worked during seasonal and agricultural periods, averaging about 10 hours a day for only 120 days a year.”

“Roman documents show that most artisans only worked about 6 hours a day from the hours of 6am to mid-day. They were given multiple holidays from frequent festival days.”

“Medieval farmers and peasants worked about 8 hour days in the summer, but worked less in winter months due to less daylight, averaging only about 5.5 hours of work each day.”

“It wasn’t until the mid-18th century that workdays became longer, with the invention of replaceable part.”

“Workers in London in 1750 worked 11 hours per day, five days a week.”

“Sunday was the day of rest, but those in gainful employment also skipped work on Monday, which was dubbed ‘Saint Monday’ at the time.”

“The industrial revolution was the kickstart of long workdays and few holidays or leave.”

“Factory workers in mid-19th century England worked 16 hours a day, 311 days per year”

“Comparatively, the average office worker today in the USA works 7.8 hours a day, 311 days per year.”

“TLDR; we work more today than almost every other generation leading up to the 18th century.” ~ SaltySFSailor

We tend to accept the things that we hear over and over again, but repetition does not mean accuracy.

Take a harder look at the long-held “facts” that you believe, and you might just find that they don’t hold up as well as you thought.

People Share Their Best Medical Tips That Everyone Should Know

Medical science has come a long way in the last few decades—to say nothing of the last century.

The rapid innovations and near-constant shifts in the field have left some struggling to catch up.

So Redditor  ATOM-Tomzej decided to get some quick tips and facts about medicine in our modern age.

Of course, just as with anything else medical, please refer to your doctor and not an entertaining Reddit list for advice.

He asked:

“What’s a medical fact or tip everyone should know?”

Do not attempt!

“Please, don’t give an unconscious diabetic insulin.”

“You’re probably going to kill them if you do.”~733094

Also,

When I complained about physical problems my parents often dismissed it.”

“Don’t ignore physical pain of yourself or others and listen if someone complains about pain.”

“I’ve walked around with a broken bone in my foot for multiple weeks as a child before getting medical attention and later had bells palsy and didn’t say a thing.”~Koroit_

Remember to really push.

“ER/ trauma nurse here.”

“When performing CPR, the compressions are substantially more important than the rescue breaths.”

“If you aren’t comfortable and properly trained in CPR, stick to compressions only.”

“And, you should go ~2 inches deep into their chest with each push.”

“You will be TIRED if you do it right.”~theperipateticnurse

Spotify to the rescue!

The New York Presbyterian Hospital has a playlist on Spotify called ‘Songs to do CPR to’, which all have that kind of rhythm – it’s well worth a look, and a lot are very catchy!”~cortexaire

Some came with a list.

First aid”

“Someone’s having a seizure – don’t restrain them, or put anything in their mouth, just move any objects away from them, and place some padding under their head.”

“Once the seizure stops if they’re still not fully responsive, then put them on their side into the recovery position.”

“Someone swallowed chemicals/poison – don’t encourage them to be sick.”

“This can make things far worse as you cause additional burns on the way back up, or they start choking on it.”

“Call an ambulance, try to identify the chemical/poison, and follow any instructions they give.”

“Injured people who can’t move themselves should be left where they are unless there’s an immediate threat to their safety.”

“Motorcyclists helmets – if they’ve been in an accident then as long as they can maintain an open airway and breathe leave the helmet on.”

“Only remove it if it’s causing airway or breathing difficulties.”

“Nosebleeds – you tilt the head forward now, not backwards.”

“This advice changed many years ago but the amount of people I still see saying to tilt head back is frustrating.”~GrumpyOldDan

And,

“Top four:”

“Vaccinations”

“Vaccinations again, because it’s that f*cking important”

“Not shitting in your drinking water”

“Washing your hands”~kjata

Learn the signs.

“Signs of a heart attack in women are not your typical ‘tight chest, arm pain’ symptoms as in men.”

“Women typically experience stomach upsets and cramping first.”

“Likewise, many people experiencing heart attack symptoms do not seek emergency treatment because they are in denial.”~Jay1313

Drink Wisely.

“On an alcohol note, alternate your booze and water. A hangover is your brain being dehydrated.”~I_SH*T_A_BRICK

See the answer clearly.

“If you are drinking enough water, and are still getting massive headaches, get your eyes tested.”

“There’s a good chance you can’t see right and it’s strain headaches.”

“This is how I found out I needed glasses.”~Smecomposers

Always communicate.

Don’t be afraid to speak up.”

“Learned early on in my Husbands treatment that the Dr.s etc. had what I started calling ‘the go to drugs’ (and I’m not speaking of the chemotherapy ones).”

“Long story short…we had the majority of his drugs changed to benefit HIS goals…he was lucid enough to spend quality time with his family before he passed.”

“Priceless.”

“Don’t be afraid to monitor, question etc.“~f*kcancr

Tests that you can’t study for are still important to take

“Pap tests and prostate exams are harmless and very important.”

“They can save your fertility, can save you from a lot of pain, they can even save your life.”

“And they are so simple and easy.”

“Yes, there is some discomfort.”

“But something tells me cancer causes much more discomfort.”~Lactiz

Always follow the prescription!

“If you’re taking antidepressants, or you know someone who is, and you feel better, IT IS NOT A REASON TO STOP TAKING THEM.”

“You are feeling better because of them.”

“They are not bandaids, they are long haul drugs that really rejig your brain’s chemistry.”~Releaseform

Baking soda fixes everything.

“Mix water and baking soda (small amounts of each/till soupy) and put it on any kind of sting.”

“It soothes and removes some of the poison if there is any.”

“Not sure if everyone already knows this but I have not seen any of my friends do it when they got stung.”

“Your welcome people of Reddit.”~ImThe_RealDirtyDan

There are no shortcuts.

Calling 911 and going by ambulance is not a fast pass to the front of the line!”

“Only call in a real emergency not for a stubbed toe at 3 in the g*d d*mn morning!”

“Hospitals will still send you to triage and you’re left with a wait to get in and a super expensive bill for a ride that could have cost you a thousand times less by taking Uber.”~jesus-christ-of-ems

There are better ways to lose weight.

Don’t buy popular diet teas that guarantee weight loss.”

“It’s just a laxative and you’ll spend less money if you just get a laxative from the store.”

“Also don’t use laxatives for weight loss.”

“It can cause bad nausea, and massive stomach cramps that leave you curled up on your bathroom floor and wondering what end sh*t is gonna come out.”

“Only use laxatives as directed.”~volcanic-sass

Medical science has come a long way.

While there are plenty of nuggets of truth in this list, always remember to consult your own doctor for your own medical questions.

But without a doubt, laughter is the best medicine.

Maybe.

People Who Signed An NDA That’s Expired Finally Spill The Tea

The Non-Disclosure Agreement, or NDA , is a tried and true method for keeping a secret.

Hollywood, corporations, political groups and even everyday people all use NDA’s to prevent the spreading of information they don’t necessarily want out in public purview.

The trick, though, is NDA’s have expiration dates.

Redditor SkullLikesCreepiness just had to ask: 

“People with expired non-disclosure-agreements, what’s the juicy info you can now tell us?”

The diamond in the rough? 

I signed an NDA after discovering that the diamond ring I dropped off at a very famous jeweler had the diamond removed and replaced with a junk version.”

“How did I know this? My father-in-law is a retired jeweler and he picked up the ring after sizing for me.”

“He knew the stone wasn’t the same and he immediately challenged the store manager and got a copy of the appraisal certificate.”

“Many apologies, a diamond worth significantly more than mine and an NDA later, all was remedied.”

“Moral of the story, always check the stones in your rings or other jewelry when it is returned from the jeweler for sizing etc.“~TinktheChi

The bark AND the bite.

“I walk dogs ..I’ll repeat this: I’m a dog walker- and I have signed three NDA this year.”

“It’s amazing what people want to protect.”~Quiavonna

Get them while they’re young!

“That the charter school I taught for was, in reality, a Scientologist school.”

“We had to do training in Scientology after school for two hours a day.”

“We had to sign an NDA to get our $1000 ‘bonus’ for doing the non-elective training.”

“Those parents had no idea the school was Scientology.”

“We did not teach them how to be Scientologists, but we certainly used the terminology and ol L. Ron’s ideas.”

“This was about 25 years ago before we knew much about Scientology.”

“I didn’t buy in and I wasn’t invited back the following year.”

“The school dissolved about 4 years later.”~momo871

It’s not who you know, it’s what you know. 

If you have a comcast voice remote and you say, ‘Make Robert Happy.’ It will turn the TV to Doctor Who.”

“There used to be a lot of hidden voice commands in the system.”

“We had to take a lot of them out over time, but that one is still in there.”

“Edit: A couple people have asked me who Robert is.”

“He is one of the software engineers working on the voice remote system.”

“As a proof of concept early on he put that in, and just never removed it.”

“Edit 2: Some people are asking for another one. If you say ‘Big Boss’ it’ll make your TV go to an empty page left over for the Minions movie and make your tv play a minion noise.”

“It seems they removed a lot of them, but that one is still there too.”~Baron_Greyfallow

The Trees know things…

“Had to sign an NDA in order to reforest an artillery range that was last active in the 1920’s, just in case we found some high-tech military secrets from 90 years ago.”~Synched2020

Behold the roar of the tiger!

“TigerDirect was once a pretty successful computer hardware store in North America.”

“There was a whole sh*tstorm of reasons why their brick and mortar stores collapsed quite quickly.”

“Some of that information is public.”

“However, I know they were being sued for shamelessly trying to force their clients’ to buy an antivirus software that was in fact just a well-dressed virus.”

“It dramatically impacted system performance, it didn’t really do anything more than Defender, it was alarmingly expensive and ultimately didn’t actually work without paying a ton of additional fees.”

“More worryingly, once your credit card information was recorded it continued to charge you even if you canceled the subscription, and your fees were astronomically higher after a few months.”

“And it was notoriously a problem to remove.”

“Calling their helpline for help only resulted in their agents refusing to help you unless you gave them your credit card info and more money. So;”

“Want to use the software? Gonna be more money.”

“Want help using the software? More money.”

“Want to stop using the software? More money.”

“Already giving them money? More money it is then.”

“Employees who questioned this software were terminated.”

“They were forced to sell it and fired if they did not sell a substantial amount.”

“It went so far that the stores stopped carrying any other antivirus just to prevent sales of anything but.”

“Couple this with illegal firing practices, with the company considering reselling computers abandoned at their tech bench back to new people, some employment violations…”

“And that’s just the stuff I know about.”

“There’s more, but I wasn’t privy to it all.”

“They like to cite the decline of brick and mortar stores and the success of their online store, but I haven’t seen any other brick and mortar stores for competition closing (actually the opposite!).”

“And focusing all your eggs on the, ‘let’s compete with NewEgg’ basket doesn’t seem wise either.”

“I am almost certain their collapse was due to overwhelming lawsuits and or an attempt to avoid more by almost dissolving, but like I said, I know only of the lawsuits and violations that happened in my district, not necessarily the whole chain.”~TheNorthernNoble

Of course, secrets often do more harm than good.

“I was given a near fatal overdose of Tylenol as a toddler at a daycare called la petite.”

“The young worker walked away when I was on a diaper changing table when I rolled over and fell off.”

“I ended up breaking my femur and was understandably wailing my little cubby head off.”

“She was afraid to get fired so she kept feeding me painkillers until I stopped crying.”

“Turns out that’s a bad thing.”

“Well safe to say I spent over a week in the hospital and some time in a full-body cast.”

“My legs grow got stunted just enough to make my legs just a bit shorter than my torso in portion.”

“Medical bills were paid and I got 25,000 dollars in an annuity.”

“Plus the girl got fired but not prosecuted.”

“My parents refused to press charges on her cause they believe in second chances and forgiveness.”~Hobbit893

Spelling is hard.

“The State of Oklahoma once busted a counterfeit check ring because the individuals misspelled Oklahoma on the front of some checks.”

“They were damn near perfect copies with valid account, check and amount numbers and were caught when an employee who ran a reader/sorter machine noticed a rejected check with the spelling Oaklahoma.”

“I was that employee and had to testify in court regarding finding the checks.”

“I think I’m still not supposed to talk about certain details, even though it was a long time ago.”~JustGimmeAnyOldName

NDA smash?

Into the Spiderverse was originally planned to be SpiderMan vs Hulk”~kidzordon

It’s all in the name. 

“Mercedes actually uses Renault engines on most of their smaller cars”~Jertzuu

NDA or not, secrets have a way of finding their way out into the public.

While not all of these secrets were terrible, it is nice to know that RDJ is a good person.

People Who’ve Called In To A Police Tip Line And Gotten The Reward Share Their Story

There are, at last count, around 8 billion people on the planet.

The odds of someone seeing a crime committed are actually quite high when put into that perspective.

That’s where tip lines come in. The crime is committed, someone knows about it, and they call the number and get a nice little reward for their assistance.

Of course, for the people that call the line, how they got there is the real story.

Redditor Renzotl56 was curious and so came to Reddit to ask:

“Has anyone here ever actually called into one of the FBI rewards for information on criminals and won the money? And what happened?”

Coincidence can pay handsomely.

Ten years ago I’m working front desk at this third rate motel and I’m the only employee on property until 7am.”

“So I get this report of an unruly guest and check it out.”

“Dudes whacked out on something, threatening other guests and I call the cops to remove him.”

“On their way out they tell me he’s got active warrants in another state.”

“I don’t think anything of until three months later I got a check sent to me at work from a sheriff’s office two states over.”

“Turns out the guy was wanted for a double murder and I got the reward when he was convicted.”

“I felt pretty good about that.”~still_alive_in_NY

The reward isn’t always money.

“This is kind of related, when I was younger there was a bad drought and the lake I went to fish at was probably 10 feet below where it usually is maybe more, and I went to go fishing under a bridge with my stepdad.”

“I got bored so I started playing in the rocks.”

“I found an old pocket knife and a pistol.”

“Turned the pistol in to the local police department and got a metal back from them and a letter where it was used in a case to convict a murderer, I don’t really remember the details I was in fourth or fifth grade“~p*ssycrusha69

Sometimes, the best reward is a job well done.

“My sister has a pretty weird hobby – she solves cold cases by helping match descriptions of bodies that have never been positively ID’d to missing persons matching the body’s description.”

“She’s solved several cases and submits them to the FBI tip line.”

“Twice now, she’s gotten phone calls from law enforcement as a result, one from the FBI and one from a local police department.”

“One had reward money tied to it from long, long ago.”

“She turned it down.”

“Both times, she’s informed the agency calling that the missing person disappeared before she was 10 years old (that’s her limit, she doesn’t look at recent cases to avoid potential problems), and they just kinda shrug and move on.”

“That’s all.”~notsolittleliongirl

Some people had to give a bit more help than others. 

“In college we had a drive-by shooting on my block.”

“The police showed up and asked all the neighbors if they had any information.”

“I had just heard the shots from my house, and wasn’t able to help.”

“A few days later I was walking home from class and I found a shell casing the in the grass near where the shooting was.”

“I didn’t want to touch it so I got home and called the police.”

“I was very very specific about exactly where the shell casing was, and that I DO NOT want the police to come to my door.”

“The neighbors were pretty sketchy people and I just didn’t want to be seen being involved.”

“Well, these f*cking cops walked right to my front door and asked for me.”

“I told them exactly where to find it (again), they walked to the general area, looked for maybe a minute, then walked back to my front door and asked if I could show where it was.”

“Godd*mit.”

“So I led them to shell casing while the sketchy neighbors stood on their porch and watched (looking very displeased).”

“Apparently, the fingerprints on the casing matched one of their suspects and he was arrested and went to jail.”

“The cops stopped by a few months later with a $20 giftcard to a sub shop.”~Throwaway_stopdrink

The real villain here is soap. 

“I called CrimeStoppers once.”

“The local news released a video of someone violently robbing a store.”

“They beat up the cashier pretty bad.”

“I knew it the second the video started who it was—a guy I used to party with and had spent the night with a few times.”

“The CrimeStopper folks gave me a number to write down to claim the money if he was convicted.”

“I wrote it on my hand then washed it off accidentally like an idiot.”

“It was on the smaller side, I think around $1k, but it would have made a big difference at the time.”

“And the guy did end up getting convicted and is still in prison now.”

“I’m sure a bunch of people called in, though, so I don’t know how much I would have gotten.”

“Anyone who grew up in my area who was around my age would have known the guy.”~yourerightaboutthat

It isn’t always about what you know, but where you are. 

“My step-mom got a $25k FBI reward when she came across a girl who had been abducted (and her whole family was murdered).”

“The girl had been held in the cabin next door to my parents’ cabin for about 3 months.”

“The guy who did it left her alone for a couple of hours and she escaped, in the middle of winter in a very cold area.”

“My step-mom was walking her dog in a pretty isolated area and the girl ran up to her; she was obviously very disoriented and traumatized but step-mom helped her escape through the woods to a safe place and call the cops.”

“There was a huge media circus, and although all the reward money ($25k from the FBI and $25k from a local business) was awarded to my step-mom, she concluded that since the girl had technically rescued herself, it was appropriate for the money to go to her.”

“(Apparently there is some rule that you can’t get FBI reward money in a case where you’re either the victim or perpetrator, so the money had to be accepted and then gifted back to the girl.)”

“In the end, the girl got the money and my step-mom got a big tax bill that year because reward money is taxable.”

“She got to be interviewed on national TV by Gayle King though and, y’know, helped save someone’s life.”

“So she’s pretty okay with it.”~cityofdestinyunbound

Usually, though, it’s about who you know. 

“One of my wife’s co-workers received a substantial reward for turning in the so-called ’20th hijacker’, Zacarias Moussaoui.”~reg-o-matic

And, 

“Worked at a small, local bank.”

“A regular customer comes in and I greeted them by name.”

“They hand their check and a note to me.”

“Note says they have a gun and to hand over all the money in the drawer.”

“I comply and as the customer leaves I push the emergency button.”

“We had all of this person’s info on file and the police caught them at home.”

“Bank recovered the money, person went to jail, and I got a small reward for ‘catching’ them”~mpshanny87

The little laws are always the hardest to avoid. 

“Don’t remember the full details but my mom called the cops on some guy who was featured on America’s Most Wanted.”

“Guy was on the run for several things I think but still took time out to get his tag renewed at the DMV.”~whatnameisnttaken098

Even criminals can show kindness. 

“My neighbor down the road growing up was always getting into trouble.”

“One day someone robbed a gas station with a gun, and accidentally shot the clerk (so he claimed), and the police didn’t know who did it.”

“After about a month, they offered up a small reward for information.”

“The guy arranged to have his wife turn him in to collect the reward because she would need it since he knew he was going away for a long time.“~samuraidogparty

From terrorists to belligerent hotel guests, all were brought to justice by the power of tip lines.

While the rewards weren’t always substantial, the above stories are really about people working together to keep everyone else safe.

That’s always a good call.