People Share Why Modern Conveniences Trump the Decadence of the Past Every Time

When we look back on history, it can be tempting to see the good parts. The things that seem better than they are now, especially for those who were well off in one way or another.

The times we live in are great, but when you’re living in it every single day, the bad parts tend to shine a little brighter.

That said, when someone on Reddit asked whether or not people would trade our modern comforts for an elevated position in the past, pretty much no one said yes.

15. We have a few questions.

Depends, do I keep everything else?

Knowledge, vaccines I already got (ie immunity) – can I choose where to go back to and prepare? If yes I’d definitely go back and jump start a lot of inventions.

Everyone here is only thinking about how their life would be negatively affected (I do too by making sure I wouldn’t just get sick and die) but no one thinks about how much you could help literally everyone alive right now, the more back you go, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.

Staying in the present is the best choice for you, going back could be the best thing for humanity, ever.

14. If you could take your knowledge with you…

I would take a tiny step up for a tiny step back. Industrialist family in the early 1900s instead of a broke family in the early 2000s… I could invest with amazing results…

13. That went downhill fast.

Yes. Go back to 1870 and rob a fucking train with no repercussions.

Other than getting shot without a trial.

Or hung with a trial. Come to think of it, law back then was a lot less law and a lot more like murder.

12. We really do have it pretty good.

No. Never. No matter how much todays society sucks and has it’s flaws, it’s still astronomically better than for example the middle ages.

11. Things weren’t exactly safe.

I’d prefer to be a commoner in the 2020’s rather than a king in the 1020’s
I can still live a long and happy life now vs constantly being at war against disease, the french, and conspirators.

But worst of all…the French.

Also, hello my Kiwi neighbour.

10. It’s just the hard facts.

Hard pass. A average person in a poor country lives better than a Roman emperor. Eradicated disease, vaccine, hygiene, internet…

9. You’ll hear this again and again.

Heck no. As a woman, I have rights in this time.

In the past, even in the recent past, I would be completely at the mercy of men. I don’t care how high up I would be in status, I would still be susceptible to legalized domestic violence and rape with no means of getting a divorce.

Time traveling is not for women or minorities.

8. Who you are definitely factors in.

Hell no. I’m gay, female, Jewish, chronically ill, and a fan of indoor plumbing, electricity, and modern medicine. I’ll stay right here, thank you.

None of those things would go down well in the past. They still don’t go down well for a lot of people today even

Plus netflix!

7. There are a lot of downsides.

Definitely not, women were basically property of men, they were literally second class citizens, gay rights weren’t that great either, and I could go on mentioning racial segregation, etc. Things are not perfect now either, but they used to be way worse, unless you were a straight, white man… This is just from the culture/society point of view, but medicine etc wasn’t that advanced either.

Yeah and talking about how unadvanced medicine was they literally thought in the 80s that babies didn’t feel pain like adults do. So they would do insane stuff like open heart surgery, circumcisions, and other surgery with no anesthesia. No wonder some 80s babies are so messed up mentally they essentially were tortured when they came out the womb.

6. Women have more reasons than most.

Hard no! For one main reason: periods. They’re a nightmare today, so going back to before pads, tampons, diva cups, etc. were invented is a terrible idea.

Also, the whole “women are property/lesser citizens” thing is also a huge detractor.

5. We do have it pretty good.

There are lot things wrong with the world right now but this is the best time to be alive. Better to live in an uncertain future than a terrible past.

No. We never had it as good as today but some people dont see that. Would maybe go back to 2018-2019 before the pandemic

4. Maybe if you didn’t have to go back so far?

If I could go back to the 1990s then yes.

Life was fun and optimistic, limited media was a shared experience across the country and home use of the internet was relatively rare.

People had a better sense of humour and there was no social media to cocoon minority echo-chambers.

3. It wasn’t all bad.

I don’t need to be in a better societal position. Give me a homestead in the Midwest circa 1800 outside a town, and I’d be happier than a pig in shit. I wouldn’t be alienated from my labor. I’d work less and be self sufficient. Communities were stronger. Taylorism hadn’t been invented yet. The industrial revolution and all its consequences had only just begun. Police didn’t exist. No robber barons.

Capitalism was just an idea some guy named Adam Smith wrote about. The climate was stable. Nuclear weapons, predator drones, and Raytheon knife missiles hadn’t been constructed yet. Mass surveillance was impossible. You could build and heat your home with your own two hands and a hatchet.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is, if you ignore the mass murder, the Unabomber had some decent points about industrial society. Not novel ones, mind you — Marx wrote similar things 150 years prior to his deranged killing spree. But perhaps society was better when it was simpler, if you ignore the slavery and lack of plumbing and all that other horrible stuff.

2. We just wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Very few people living in the western world today would be able to handle the loss of modern conveniences.

We live in a world were most people not only do not know hot to fix anything but also don’t know that things can be fixed.

1. Hard pass.

No. Even though I’m working class, life is exponentially better for someone in my position today than even just 150-200 years ago. But to be in a higher class and go back 30-40 years, definitely. I think, financially speaking, that’s what most of us today really want, the security our parents (or maybe grandparents) had.

There was an economist who said all society benefited from innovations of the prior generation. Going back wd erase those innovations. Meaning no travel by plane or car, so basically limited movement. No smart phones or phones for that matter. No television, radio. If you want to hear music basically has to be live. No antibiotics and vaccines, or even aspirin. So minor ailments can’t be treated. No electricity or indoor plumbing. No fridge or microwave. No kindle or access to millions of books.

Not even Alexander the Great who conquered half the known territory lived as well as I do right now. Or, cleopatra. Or, Elizabeth 1st. They got ill w things like consumption. Except for the homeless, even the poor in this country live better than royalty two hundred years ago or more.

I agree with all of these folks, especially as a woman!

Would you go? Stay? Tell us why in the comments!

The post People Share Why Modern Conveniences Trump the Decadence of the Past Every Time appeared first on UberFacts.

13 Positive Memes to Make You Feel Good

We all need a little bit of wholesome sometimes. In fact, maybe even all the time. The WHOLE time. The whole time for wholesome. See what I did there?

I mean, sure, it’s not a good joke. It’s barely even a joke at all. But it’s wholesome. And you’re trying not to smile. And you need to stop that.

Give in to the positive. Breathe out for a minute. Let’s allow a little light in, through memes.

13. The chosen family

They’re all gonna be tweeting about this so much.

12. Handsome young man

Mooove over it’s my turn!

11. The look

“Are ya winning son? Life, I mean? Are ya winning life?”

10. It’s the thought that counts

Sometimes in comedy you can fail so hard that it’s funny again, so.

9. Give me compliments

I said’a give me compliments!

8. A listening ear

Eels are just kind of the sock puppets of the sea and I adore them for it.

7. We all make mistakes

It’s just a weird linguistic knee-jerk, don’t worry about it.

6. Mate

Mate, mate. Mate?

5. Pride and joy

Thanks, now I’m about to collapse.

4. Let it rain

That’s some perfection right there.

3. Figure it out!

Sure it’s common, but it was the first time YOU’D encountered it and you nailed it!

2. Shred it!

Mom said you have to pick a two player game.

1. Here, little one

It’s dangerous to go alone.

Have a wholesome day!

What’s something positive that’s happened to you lately?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post 13 Positive Memes to Make You Feel Good appeared first on UberFacts.

Quality Memes That are Just Perfectly Wholesome

Need a break from cynical memes?

I mean, I get it, we live in weird times and we want to have thick skins. But it’s nice to not let our humor be so constantly dark or disorienting. There is still good out there in the world, after all, and what better way to express that goodness than through memes?

Scroll through and enjoy yourself with these memes that give us twelve things to feel good about.

12. Having a dog

It’s like having a person, only way way way way way better.

11. Being a guide

Who needs GPS when you’ve got family?

10. Homemade cookies

They’re like love in gooey form.

9. Sharing your joy

This one is a bit rare but man is it the best.

8. Hide and seek

Oh where oh where could they be?

7. Little compliments

You know they can go a very long way.

6. Just participating

It’ll be ok, there’s nothing to be scared of.

5. Listening closely

Plus, look how excited he is about it.

4. Cooking and sharing

It was mostly raman, but still.

3. Landing the job

And even if you didn’t you’re putting yourself out there.

2. Getting it right

Heck, even REMEMBERING a name is a feat I can rarely achieve.

1. Helping a friend

Donde esta la biblioteca?

There’s plenty to smile about. ?

What’s something positive that’s happened to you lately?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Quality Memes That are Just Perfectly Wholesome appeared first on UberFacts.

These People All Joyfully Take After Their Parents

When Charles Darwin was conducting research and piecing together the framework that would ultimately form the bedrock of evolutionary theory, he had one big problem on his hands.

He knew, like everyone did, that humans and animals alike passed traits on from parent to offspring. And he further knew – as fewer had noticed – that these traits give survival advantages and disadvantages in different environments, which ultimately turn little changes in the short term into huge morphs in the long-term.

But what he DIDN’T know what just HOW this was happening. “Genetics” wasn’t a term yet. We didn’t really get the mechanism for HOW we looked like our dad. We just kinda expected that to be the case, and thought it was a sort of magic.

And in a way, we were right. Sure, we’ve got a much better understanding now of genes and DNA and all that jazz, but it IS still a sort of magic to compare yourself to your parents. It’s a bond. And it’s one that these Redditors are reveling in.

10. The niece is nice

One of them looks a little more tired of your crap though.

My dad holding his niece, Mariam, in 2001 vs me holding my niece, also named Mariam, in 2020. from pics

9. 30 years in the making

What are these two up to?

My father and I at same age, 30 years apart (1600×900) from pics

8. Stylin’

Well dang, get out there and mix it up boys.

My dad (1985ish?) and I (NYE2017) from PastAndPresentPics

7. The laugh

Well that is just pure.

My dads laugh (1980’s) vs mine (2018) from OldSchoolCool

6. 12 vs 12

What a great little smile.

i think it’s fun to look at my dad at 12 vs me at 12 from mildlyinteresting

5. Side by side

Yo dude! How are you hugging into the past like that??

My Dad on the right – 1980’s. vs Me on the left – 2015 from OldSchoolCool

4. Nine months

He’s got the keys to my heart.

Left side: my son at 9 months in 2018, Right side: me at 9 months in 1989 from PastAndPresentPics

3. Ol’ granddad

You’re even wearing the same shirt, it looks like.

I look exactly like my grandfather when he was my age. from mildlyinteresting

2. The yearbook

Twins!

Me vs. My mom’s yearbook photo (1977) from OldSchoolCool

1. The freshman

Oh yeah, I can see it.

My high school picture freshman year in 2004 next to my dad’s senior picture in 1975 from PastAndPresentPics

What a great little thing to celebrate.

How much do you look like your parents?

Describe it in the comments.

The post These People All Joyfully Take After Their Parents appeared first on UberFacts.

Tweets to Throw You into Yesteryear…Whether You Like it Or Not

I’m not the kind of person who says “kids today don’t know how easy they’ve got it!” because frankly, I don’t think kids today have it easy AT ALL.

I mean, yeah, sure, they never had to suffer the excruciating pain that was dial-up internet, but they also never experienced, like, hope. So I’d say it all comes out in the wash.

On a lighter note, though, it can be a lot of fun to compare and contrast yesterday to today, and the best way to do that is just to get all nostalgic scrolling through Twitter, a thing we DIDN’T EVEN HAVE BACK IN THE DAY! YOU DANG KIDS! YOU GOT IT SO GOOD!

10. The skinny jeans

Surely science can find us a happy medium between these extremes.

9. Babe: Pig in the City

“I feel like this is important, but I have no idea what’s going on.”

8. Happy brunch

What kind of chaotic nightmare world was that place?

7. Fair enough

I don’t know why I always get so excited to look through there, there’s literally nothing of value to me, ever.

6. Fishy go boom

I’m genuinely terrified at the age at which peoples’ lives become public broadcasts now.

5. Yummy gummy

They just wormed their way into all of our hearts, didn’t they?

4. Assault and battery

Dropping your phone SHOULDN’T break it now, just buy a case, dang.

3. Gone with the wind

Prepare to be utterly and thoroughly broken, air currents.

2. Nobody out pizza’s the hut

Man, now I’m hungry. Again.

1. The secret word!

It’s true.

Ah, yesterday. We hardly knew ye.

What are you most nostalgic for right about now?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Tweets to Throw You into Yesteryear…Whether You Like it Or Not appeared first on UberFacts.

Learn About the 9 Types of Movie Posters and Why They Never Change

If you’ve ever seen a movie poster and thought, “I’ve seen that movie before,” it might be because there’s an art, a science, and a psychology that goes into the branding of movies.

Studios have found formulas that work, and there’s not much deviation.

One eagle-eyed viewer first noticed a similar pattern in Disney posters, and raised it on Tumblr.

Although the posters are from 3 different franchises: X-Men, Star Wars, and the new live-action recreation of old cartoons, users agreed, they color scheme and effects made them look like a single trilogy.

Seems like Disney is using the same guy from the graphics department. I thought this was 3 Star Wars movies.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

User @metalgirlysolid explained that this was not just laziness on the part of the designer, but an intentional part of the marketing, using what’s known as Color Theory.

It's called Color Theory and we been knew. Art is subjective but there are certain rules you can follow to make things more appealing in a subconscious/subliminal kind of way.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

The user then posted a series of thematically linked movie posters.

The first showed how teal and fiery orange tend to be used in action flicks, particularly with a sci-fi bent like Aliens and The Bourne Identity.

The next showed how often a red dress is featured in female-centered movies like Amelie, Frida, and Resident Evil.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

According to 99 Designs:

Red is the universal sign of excitement, passion and anger. It draws attention and makes you stand out from the crowd. Is your brand loud, playful, youthful or modern? Think red.

Next came a collage of more in the blue and yellow vein, but softer than the ones that screamed “action flick.”These had a warm, glowy quality, with wistful looking actors staring out at you or couples together.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

It featured dramas like Captain Correlli’s Mandoliln and City of Angels.

Apparently that’s because:

Blue symbolizes trustworthiness and maturity. You should use it for your brand if you want to be taken seriously.

Then @metalgirlysolid moved from color to imagery, showing all the gritty action movies that feature a domineering silhouette, usually from behind, getting ready to take on the world.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

This grouping included D’Artagnan, GI Joe, and The Hitcher.

Next came Rom Coms, where studios like to show couples standing back to back: Pretty Woman. Two Weeks Notice.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

It’s an especially good stance for the enemies to lovers trope, but studios aren’t too fussy.

Then there are the movie posters that feature a close-up of an eye. Color doesn’t matter, nor does the species of the eye.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

This style always evokes Requiem for a Dream for me.

Again there were more blue action movies, everything from Taken to The Firm.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

One particular style stands out as arguably demeaning towards women.

Often used for raunchy comedies, it features the “between the legs” shot.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

Personally, not a fan, but they’re not marketing to me.

And finally, the rather modern trend of black and white and orange for explosive action movies.

It seems to be a favorite for Nicholas Cage vehicles.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

99 Designs explains the possible emergence of this color palette as a dominant player.

Go orange to stand out from the crowd. It’s used less often than red, but still packs an energetic punch. Be cautious when using orange if your brand is trying to appear luxurious, feminine or serious, as orange does not invoke those traits to consumers.

They got that last part right.

Tumblr users were duly impressed with this knowledge drop.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

The user is right. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

At least it helps to set viewer expectations, but no wonder everything seems so familiar.

Did this blow your mind like it did the folks on Tumblr? Tell us in the comments.

The post Learn About the 9 Types of Movie Posters and Why They Never Change appeared first on UberFacts.

People Explain Why They Chose To Be Sterilized

Maybe it’s because it flies in the face of evolution, but people tend to be shocked when they find out others don’t want children.

They assume you’ll grow out of it or change your mind, but for some, the desire to remain childless is as strong as others’ biological urge to procreate.

These 12 people express their feelings about living a child-free life.

1. Pets are better than kids

Except that you can’t really send them to their rooms.

I got a vasectomy and my wife got her tubes tied. We would rather have pets than kids.

Image credit: Whisper

2. Bodily autonomy can be a powerful drug

That’s when you know you’ve made the right decision.

I got my tubes tied a couple months ago. Doctors said I was going to be depressed but I have never been this happy about anything.

Image credit: Whisper

3. Double win, really

Especially when it’s your choice and not the slow march of time.

I had a hysterectomy a month ago. It was liberating to throw away all my tampons today.

Image credit: Whisper

4. It really is hard for people to believe

And it’s easier if they think it’s not a choice.

I cannot have children and people always express sympathy when I tell them. I never bother to clarify that I had myself sterilized.

Image credit: Whisper

5. Lots of people feel the need to keep it secret

No reason to upset the folks. They’ll figure it out eventually.

Got a vasectomy yesterday. Definitely not going to tell parents they're not getting grandkids.

Image credit: Whisper

6. Some secrets are more concerning than others

I guess she’ll figure it out eventually too…

I had a vasetomy 2 years ago. My wife has no idea. She wants more children, and I think 1 was enough.

Image credit: Whisper

7. It’s a great alternative to oral contraception

More effective too.

I just got my appointment for tubal ligation (tubes tied) next Friday. I'm 26 and I never want kids. I'm so excited for my child-free life with no medication!

Image credit: Whisper

8. Definitely cheaper than a lifetime of birth control, too

1 box of condoms is about $7. Pays for itself in no time.

My vasectomy was the best $15, (the consult was $15, the procedure itself was FREE under insurance), I've ever spent. #nokidding.

Image credit: Whisper

9. And there’s so much less worry

In that respect, you could say it pays for itself every month.

Best part of having my tubes tied? You don't freak out as much over late periods.

Image credit: Whisper

10. Of course there are other ways of looking at it

That’s definitely one of them.

The best part of having my tubes tied and having an ablation? Cheating won't end in a positive pregnancy test!!

Image credit: Whisper

11. Some people can’t accept that it’s what you want

As though it affects them somehow.

When I told people I was getting a hysterectomy for some reason they got really mad. Why would MY choice make you mad?

Image credit: Whisper

12. And usually they don’t trust you to know your own mind

It’s the lucky few who are listened to.

One good thing that happened to me in 2016: I got my tubes tied. Everyone told me a doctor wouldn't do it until I was 35. Kiss my a**, I got it done at 23! :D

Image credit: Whisper

Those reasons all make a lot of sense to me. Do you think they made the right choices? Tell us in the comments.

The post People Explain Why They Chose To Be Sterilized appeared first on UberFacts.

People Explain Why They Chose To Be Sterilized

Maybe it’s because it flies in the face of evolution, but people tend to be shocked when they find out others don’t want children.

They assume you’ll grow out of it or change your mind, but for some, the desire to remain childless is as strong as others’ biological urge to procreate.

These 12 people express their feelings about living a child-free life.

1. Pets are better than kids

Except that you can’t really send them to their rooms.

I got a vasectomy and my wife got her tubes tied. We would rather have pets than kids.

Image credit: Whisper

2. Bodily autonomy can be a powerful drug

That’s when you know you’ve made the right decision.

I got my tubes tied a couple months ago. Doctors said I was going to be depressed but I have never been this happy about anything.

Image credit: Whisper

3. Double win, really

Especially when it’s your choice and not the slow march of time.

I had a hysterectomy a month ago. It was liberating to throw away all my tampons today.

Image credit: Whisper

4. It really is hard for people to believe

And it’s easier if they think it’s not a choice.

I cannot have children and people always express sympathy when I tell them. I never bother to clarify that I had myself sterilized.

Image credit: Whisper

5. Lots of people feel the need to keep it secret

No reason to upset the folks. They’ll figure it out eventually.

Got a vasectomy yesterday. Definitely not going to tell parents they're not getting grandkids.

Image credit: Whisper

6. Some secrets are more concerning than others

I guess she’ll figure it out eventually too…

I had a vasetomy 2 years ago. My wife has no idea. She wants more children, and I think 1 was enough.

Image credit: Whisper

7. It’s a great alternative to oral contraception

More effective too.

I just got my appointment for tubal ligation (tubes tied) next Friday. I'm 26 and I never want kids. I'm so excited for my child-free life with no medication!

Image credit: Whisper

8. Definitely cheaper than a lifetime of birth control, too

1 box of condoms is about $7. Pays for itself in no time.

My vasectomy was the best $15, (the consult was $15, the procedure itself was FREE under insurance), I've ever spent. #nokidding.

Image credit: Whisper

9. And there’s so much less worry

In that respect, you could say it pays for itself every month.

Best part of having my tubes tied? You don't freak out as much over late periods.

Image credit: Whisper

10. Of course there are other ways of looking at it

That’s definitely one of them.

The best part of having my tubes tied and having an ablation? Cheating won't end in a positive pregnancy test!!

Image credit: Whisper

11. Some people can’t accept that it’s what you want

As though it affects them somehow.

When I told people I was getting a hysterectomy for some reason they got really mad. Why would MY choice make you mad?

Image credit: Whisper

12. And usually they don’t trust you to know your own mind

It’s the lucky few who are listened to.

One good thing that happened to me in 2016: I got my tubes tied. Everyone told me a doctor wouldn't do it until I was 35. Kiss my a**, I got it done at 23! :D

Image credit: Whisper

Those reasons all make a lot of sense to me. Do you think they made the right choices? Tell us in the comments.

The post People Explain Why They Chose To Be Sterilized appeared first on UberFacts.

People Show the Bitter and Sweet Sides of Sterilization

One of the most invasive questions people can ask you is about your plans to have children…or not.

It’s no one’s business but the people making the choice–and sometimes it’s not even a choice.

But that doesn’t stop people from asking.

At family functions and even in the workplace, if you’re in a committed relationship and over the age of 24, the awkward questions abound.

It’s time to stop asking such personal questions. People don’t have kids for all kinds of reasons.

Fertility issues aside, 10 people explain the myriad emotions surrounding sterilization.

1. Sometimes, it’s a choice you make together

I hope karma, at least, was very sweet.

I got my tubes tied because my husband didn't want more kids. He had an affair and she got pregnant.

Image credit: Whisper

2. Sometimes, it’s the mature thing to do

We don’t know their life.

I went and got sterilized after my abortion. I made the right choice to end my pregnancy, but I never want to have to make that choice again.

Image credit: Whisper

3. No matter what you say, it’s going to be the wrong thing

Even when you mean well, better just to go about your day.

When a nurse tells you how lucky you are to have had a hysterectomy so young, not knowing that you wanted a child and having it wasn't by choice but necessity.

Image credit: Whisper

4. Some people can laugh it off easier than others

But why should they have to?

Thefunniest thing about getting my tubes tied is how much other people think it's okay for them to comment. It's my body, my decision. Kindly f*** off?

Image credit: Whisper

5. Taking “it’s none of your business” to a whole new level

Because safety is about more than just preventing pregnancy.

I got sterilized 4 years ago and can't get pregnant. But I won't tell a guy I'm dating that because I don't want to fight with him over wearing a condom. I want him terrified that he could get me pregnant.

Image credit: Whisper

6. It could become a dangerous game.

Like at some point you have to tell them right?

My secret is that I've had a vasectomy but I never tell any girls that I date.

Image credit: Whisper

7. There are times when it makes total sense

And you end up regretting it anyway.

I had my tubes tied when I was with my abusive ex-husband and now that I'm with the love of my life, I regret it. I want to have a baby with him.

Image credit: Whisper

8. But there is still joy, even with regret

Fertility treatments, foster parenting, adoption, pets.

I adopt animals because I regret having my tubes tied.

Image credit: Whisper

9. Choice is the key

When you don’t get one, either way, it hurts.

I was given a certain amount of time to have a kid before I'm basically forced to get a hysterectomy... I hate this forced feeling and my life is an absolute disaster...

Image credit: Whisper

10. The important thing is doing what’s right for yourself

And living the life you want to live.

I got a vasectomy at 25 and I have zero regrets about it. I have dogs that will never complain about wanting clothes, cell phones, or need to go to college.

Image credit: Whisper

These posts show that people are childless for all kinds of reasons, and that everyone should mind their own business until it affects them.

Do you know of other reasons for not having kids that you want to share? Drop them in the comments.

The post People Show the Bitter and Sweet Sides of Sterilization appeared first on UberFacts.

Get to Know the Oarfish: The Terrifying Sea Serpent of Folklore

I don’t like going into the ocean. There’s a lot you can’t see swimming around in there. Even when it’s not dangerous, I don’t particularly relish the thought of swimming with it.

Maybe it’s because of the time I went snorkeling and people started throwing food over the side of the boat, so that suddenly I was positively swarmed by fish. Touching me. (Shudder)

Well after learning about the creature called the giant oarfish, I may never go in the water again.

What is an oarfish, you ask?

Well, they’re in the same family as eels (Actinopterygi), but they’re not eels.

Recently, a Tumblr user asked to be told about something anxiety producing, and “Be careful what you wish for,” would be an understated warning because user @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses brought the goods.

digitalrabbit asked: Hey I heard you're giving out anxiety, can I have 1 anxiety please? biggest-gaudiest-patronuses answered: yes, here is a baby oarfish.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

Because of the fish’s length, users were surprised to read it was a baby, and @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses was happy to provide more detailed information.

imaramennoodle: that's a BABY? biggest-gaudiest-patronuses: boy howdy are you in for a treat! introducing, the Oarfish!

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

Turns out, they’re fairly mysterious creatures, which is probably why they’re the stuff of Japanese folklore, where they’re known as “the Messenger from the Sea God’s Palace.”

The user shared bigger and bigger examples of the creature, and it gives me the willies.

Not much is known about Oarfish. Their maximum length is debatable, though there are reports of specimen up to 56 ft long. They live at great depths, and are rarely observed alive.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

I’m sorry, but it has to be said…

I think they’re going to need a bigger boat.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

No one bothered to question who @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses was, or why they had so many pictures close to hand and sounded like the world’s foremost authority on wicked-long fish.

Yeah. These children get long. Like I said, length-variable. That one's only about 28 feet long. So, like, imagine that but double.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

The user then zoomed in for a close-up on the faces of the people and the fish, and dropped a little more knowledge.

Look how excited everyone is. Well, everyone but the fish. Oh, fun fact! They can self-amputate up to 3/4th of their body. Lizard-style.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

Close up, the fish just looks like any other fish.
Maybe even less mean-looking than an eel.

Historically, Oarfish have been described as sea serpents, and are probably responsible for a fair portion of myths. In Japanese folklore, their appearance portends earthquakes. Though rarely seen, Oarfish live in every ocean. All around the world. Everywhere. No matter what coastline you're on, they're always there.Just a few thousand feet below water. Waiting.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

Watching. Fireball-me: Jesus that was more than 1 anxiety! biggest-gaudiest-patronuses: I am a wholesale provider.

Image credit: Tumblr via Cheezburger

(Double shudder.)

I mean. They seem pretty harmless, but I’m still probably going to have nightmares about them.

What do you think of this ridiculously long fish? Tell us in the comments.

The post Get to Know the Oarfish: The Terrifying Sea Serpent of Folklore appeared first on UberFacts.