Author: everhance

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Landlords Who Are Well and Truly Lords of These Lands

The term “landlord” feels so outdated now, doesn’t it? Some high and mighty descriptor of a feudal lord, overseeing his kingdom. When most of the time it’s just, like, some jerk named Dave who takes four days to text you back about your broken sink.

I’d say that if we’re still gonna have such a thing as “landlords” floating around, we need them to earn that title.

Will the people in these Reddit and Twitter posts stack up to the challenge? Let’s find out.

12. Carpet bombing

Perfect, there’s no way anybody could notice that.

Just moved into a new home and found where the landlord patched the carpet. from mildlyinfuriating

11. Hook you up

I wouldn’t be mad about this as long as the pressure was good.

When I told my landlord my shower head was leaking, he said he was going to hook me up. This is what I came home to. from pics

10. That’s methed up

I love that this isn’t even him asking them to stop selling meth, just to be better at it.

Landlord put this up cuz the neighborhoods won’t stop selling meth from facepalm

9. The hose knows

That thing’s got more kinks than a leather night club.

Moved into a new house. Landlord said water the lawn, we left you a hose. from Wellthatsucks

8. Rat me out

Hope you didn’t name them yet.

NYC landlords like… from LandlordLove

7. Paying your dues

It seems that compassion is really a hallmark of the profession.

Found this note in my mailbox from my landlord today. Too awesome not to share! from pics

6. Old and moldy

Yeah and I’m paying you a bunch of money to live in it so let’s get with the times.

5. The landlord special

Nothing an umteenth coat of paint won’t fix.

4. By the numbers

Numbers 18:21 – “To the Levites I have given every tithe in Israel for an inheritance, in return for their service that they do, their service in the tent of meeting.”
Yeah I can totally see why that means I need to give you an extra $130 a month, Rick.

3. Staying plugged in

I’m not even kidding, this person should spend time in jail.
That is straight up reckless endangerment.

2. Rage in a cage

It’s getting hot in here, so go pick all the locks.

1. Am I right or I am right?

“Here, go buy yourself half a gumball in 1983.”

Final score: none of you get to be lords.

What’s your worst landlord experience?

Tell us in the comments.

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These Cuddly Pups Remind Us Why Dogs Are Man’s Best Friend

When I was young, I was terrified of dogs.

No one really knows why. Maybe because the whole neighborhood had Labradors who would chase me and knock me down.

They thought we were playing. I thought I was dinner.

Eventually, because my sister wanted one, I agreed that we could get a dog if it was a little one, and we soon welcomed a terrier pup into the family.

Now, as an adult, I love doggos. (I still don’t love Labs though. Sorry most popular breed on the planet.)

There’s just nothing quite like a dog to bring a smile to your face.

Here are 16 of the best doggos that ever graced the internet.

1. Live from Puppy Camp

I’ve frankly never seen a happier camper.

A very happy Branch Manager ? from aww

2. The name’s Melon. Super Melon.

Here to rescue all your summer cookouts, picnics, and play dates.

No one cared who I was until I put on the mask from aww

3. Now that’s a giant dog I could learn to love

Because what kid wouldn’t want a life-sized (and living!) teddy bear?

Some images require no title, just a smile. from aww

4. File under “Things you didn’t know were possible”

That is one gorgeous pup.

Beautiful pup with vitiligo. Saw on Woof Woof. from aww

5. That little puppy wanted to be his Number One

And Sir Pat Stew said, “Make it so!”

Sir Patrick Stewart and a one week old puppy ❤ from aww

6. Sounds like the perfect compromise!

I want to give him all the skritches.

After 30 Years of Begging My Parents For A Dog, We Compromised and I Moved Out, Got A Gf and Got A Dog. Reddit, Meet Zeus! (Border Collie/Australian Shepard) from aww

7. Wild Bill is a very good pet parent

And that heeler is a very good girl.

My 11yr old dog is blind but still loves hiking so I got her doggles to protect her eyes from sticks from aww

8. Besties

It’s good to have a big best friend.

This cat from my neighborhood always protects his little dog friend and I thought this picture can brighten up someone’s day:) from aww

9. OG in the house

She has aged well. She doesn’t look a day over 12.

This is Kabosu, she’s 15 years old and was the original face of the doge meme in 2013 from aww

10. So many friendly interpretations to unpack

a) Did you bring my friend a friend?
b) Do you need a friend to keep you company?
c) Can you take this friend to my other friend across town?
d) Whatcha doing, friend?

I’m an Amazon delivery driver and was greeted by this today. from aww

11. Use the force, Pup

What an absolute glamor shot!

May The Fourth Be With You! from aww

12. Twinsies and BFFs 4EVR

It’s good to feel loved by a bestie.

Oreo with some Carmel on top ❤ from aww

13. Even if you have to go to school to find them

(They think they’re twins too. Look at those faces!)

Meet Wallace and Charlie. They met in February in puppy class. Both were nervous about making friends but not anymore. from aww

14. Home is where the kisses are

And he knows that he’s finally home.

Meet Harvey, his last night sleeping at the shelter was yesterday. Tonight and for the rest of his life he will sleep like a KING. from aww

15. World traveler

Very good at photos.

"Well, why not" from aww

16. One of these things is not like the others

But he promises to be SUCH a good boy!

This tiny Fox has been visiting our garden every day and wants to be friends.. from aww

Now don’t you feel warm and fuzzy just like all those sweet puppies (plus one friendly fox)? Which one is your favorite? Tell us in the comments!

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Check Out Some of the Weirdest Things Found in Guys’ Bathrooms

Men have weird bathrooms. I already knew this, as a dude who’s done my share of odd bathrooming, but I didn’t know it as hard as I know it now that I’ve scrolled through this tweet thread.

The horrors and oddities you will find here can never be unseen, so be warned. Be they from a house, apartment, dorm, school, or just a plain ol’ public men’s room, the things shown and described here defy all reason and are sure to leave you changed forever… to some degree.

But if you’re curious still, scroll on. And see what Twitter hath for thee.

11. The combo

For those keeping score at home, this would appear to be some ungodly hybrid of a plunger and a “toilet” brush.

10. Safety first

I cannot fathom how this is working.

9. No words

We’ll have no bones about it.

8. Jeff go boom

You were so busy trying to find out if you could do it that you forgot to ask if you should.

7. Bird is the word

He is clearly trying to think something through, please leave him be.

6. Orange you glad?

The juice is most definitely loose.

5. Absolutely blinding

Honestly I could maybe use something like that.

4. Storage solutions

We’ve found it. We’ve found the single most “Kyle” photo that will ever grace the internet.

3. Magically delicious

I have so many questions and I want none of them answered.

2. Super sword

Um. Why.

1. Be my guest

My companion, my second, my number two, if you will.

I may never poop again.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a bathroom?

Tell us in the comments.

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A Woman’s Question Kicks Off Weird Parade of “Boy Bathroom” Discoveries

Twitter user @JodieeGrace may or may not have known what she was getting herself into when she tweeting the following:

Far from being an isolated incident of weirdness, responses on Twitter began to pour in by the thousands. You may think you know the sort of thing you’re about to see, but trust me, you probably don’t.

Some were text descriptions while other provided photo or even video receipts, some were from private homes while others originated in public bathrooms or shared dorm facilities. No matter where they came from, the message was clear: we guys gotta get our s**t together when it comes to bathrooms.

10. White boy summer

Hey man, you gotta let it grow somewhere.

9. Bag it up

Some kid out there very nearly understands how a toilet works.

8. What’s the story?

Actually nevermind, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to hear it.

7. Soup’s on

Why was somebody eating in the bathroom and how sure are you that that was soup?

6. Taking a dump

It’s hard work, but somebody’s gotta do it.

5. Dear diary

Been sitting here for as long as I can remember now.
I may literally be getting too old for this s**t.

4. Only the essentials

I get the magazine but why the country cro-oooooooh.

3. Drip drip drip

“My lights are leaking.”
“Are you high again?”
“Yes but that’s irrelevant.”

2. Morning snack

This is gonna put me off my dinner, I swear.

1. Travel the world

Ah the glorious life of a pilot.

Well, that’s enough of that. You only get one set of eyes in this life.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a bathroom?

Tell us in the comments.

The post A Woman’s Question Kicks Off Weird Parade of “Boy Bathroom” Discoveries appeared first on UberFacts.

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Memes to Totally Devastate the Internet

The internet’s not prepared for what’s about to hit it.

I mean it. Get to your bunkers. Batten down your hatches. Get somebody out here to explain to me what hatches are and how to batton them. Because we’re about to get serious.

With memes.

Memes that will go down in history as “that one particular set of memes that got posted that day, which were subsequently scroll through by that one extremely attractive person with excellent taste in internets.”

This is that moment. We’re living it now. Let’s begin.

10. Life hack

Let’s just put a pin in that plan for the moments.

9. You can’t be serious

I’m not playin’ games here, mom and dad.

8. An open question

You know they’ve seen closed doors before. You know it. They know it.
And yet ignorance is forever feigned.

7. Question time

“Listen homework is cool and all, but when can we learn more about YOU?”

6. PP problems

I have powers so great that even I don’t always understand them.

5. Live and learn

Box office SMASH!

4. Nine times the fun

Hey man, I’ll take it.

3. Super speed

There are certain instincts we’re all just sort of born with.

2. Hanging out

Pay no attention to the events which came before.

1. Mom’s spaghetti

Oh man, don’t give Em that kind of ammo.

See? What did I tell ya? Absolutely epic.

What’s the best meme you’ve seen around lately?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets for People Who Are Perpetually Single

There are people out there who, once they’re out of a relationship, are immediately getting back into the game, and within a week or two are probably dating someone new.

I’ve never understood that. I don’t get it. It takes me forever to recover. And I know I’m not alone in that. I know that a lot of y’all, like me, are pretty much perpetually single, and that it’s a state of mind that you kind of get used to and learn to laugh at, because, hey, it’s your thing.

To help us laugh along about it, here are some funny tweets. From single Twitter funny peeps.

10. The cycle continues

Look, it’s been a very long afternoon, we’ve been through a lot together.

9. Lonely hearts club

Hey now, let’s not make any sweeping conclusions.

8. The big sleep

And they said that romance was dead.

7. Hoping and praying

And how has that gone for you so far?

6. The realization

The grass is always greener on the other side of the bed.

5. So extra

Ooo, look at me, I can afford “avocado” and “breakfast.”

4. Unsolved mysteries

We can’t know. There’s just no way to know.

3. Remember these steps

It might just save your life.

2. The cold light of day

To be fair, nothing is as fun sober.

1. Red flag alert

Cut your losses and live your life.

Being single can be a drag but it’s not all bad. I mean, consider this: you get all the oreos to yourself.

What’s the best part of being single to you?

Tell us in the comments.

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Childhood Memories That Will Bring Back 1990s Nostalgia

There’s nothing like a little walk down memory lane to make you feel all the feels from your childhood.

The 80s and 90s may have been a time of bad hair and bright clothes, and all the plastic you could possibly consume, but man, there was some great stuff too.

These 19 blasts from the past will leave anyone over 30 feeling nostalgic:

1. Ballerina jewellery box

I had one. You had one. We all had one. The nice thing is they still make them today, but a little more inclusive versions.

2. Bath beads

As someone who LOVES baths, I had all but forgotten about these! And I don’t remember any kids ever being tempted to try eating them…

3. The fishing game

Possibly as boring and tedious, but more anxiety laden, than actual fishing.

Fishing game from ForgottenToys

4. MapQuest

Apparently it’s still a thing. I have vivid memories of getting lost in a very fancy neighborhood because of bad MapQuest directions.

5. Trix fruit shapes

I didn’t know they stopped being shaped like real fruit. Was it to stop giving the illusion that there was anything healthy about this sugar-cereal?

6. Corduroy bear

Who didn’t love him to bits?

7. Skip-It

A catchy tune. Kids having fun. I wanted in! Does anyone suddenly feel tricked into exercising?

8. Crossfire game

I didn’t have one, but I’m willing to bet my husband did.

9. Duracell Power-Check batteries

That made you go “oh wow, I remember those” didn’t it?

Duracell powercheck batteries from nostalgia

10. The Brave Little Toaster

Haunting your nightmares and making you anthropomorphize your belongings for decades.

who remembers The Brave Little Toaster? honestly the AC guy scared me from nostalgia

11. Pull Toys

Also known as “the creepy weird telephone pull toy” that everyone had.

12. Book It!

For a kid who loved to read, an award for reading was the best thing ever. And don’t forget that personal pan pizza you would earn!

13. Scratch ‘n Sniff stickers

Normalizing huffing since sometime in the 60s.

The way scratch ‘n sniff stickers smelled from nostalgia

14. Garfield

The comic book. The cartoon show! Would kids today even get my references about scarfing lasagna?

Another goodwill “haul” … definitely a favorite from my childhood! from nostalgia

15. You Can’t Do That On Television

And yet they did. (I was forbidden to watch them do it.)

You Can’t Do that On Television. from nostalgia

16. Don’t Wake Daddy

Because apparently all of our board games were anxiety provoking and full of trauma.

17. Wishbone!

If I’m being honest, I learned a lot of the classics from Wishbone. He was my first introduction to Mr. Darcy. He was the reason I read the Count of Monte Cristo.

18. Orange Nickelodeon tapes

And OMG Harriet the Spy! Am I the only one who grew up to watch Harriet’s buddy Sport in Rookie Blue? I can’t be the only one.

Orange VHS tapes from Nickelodeon from nostalgia

19. The Y2K Panic

Remember how people thought everything was just going to shut down. Where is this same fear about cyber hacking today??

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling extremely nostalgic.

What’s your favorite childhood memory that most people have long-forgotten? Tell us in the comments.

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Check Out Some of the Most Brutal Burns on the Internet

The internet is really just a place where we go to fight with each other in new and innovative ways.

Luckily, some of those ways are actually funny, and some fighters use their knowledge and wits to make the battle as sophisticated and satisfying as it is brutal.

Such is the way with these particular entries. Players – start!

14. If you don’t like it, leave

It’s fun to pair your heartlessness with insults so everybody knows right away you don’t actually care what happens to anybody who isn’t you.

13. Over the moon

What I love about this reply is the the original tweet is gone now and it doesn’t even matter because it’s a one-size-fits-all rebuttal.

12. Just imagine

I’ll bet you’d like a little of that splash now that ya burnt so bad, huh?

11. The gold standard

An absolute classic, the metaphor we all need.

https://aetherkidatheart.tumblr.com/post/162904307683/firstdegreeliberty-heimwehr-robloxgf

10. Under pressure

The thing about gay marriage is that “believing in it” is irrelevant.
It’s just a thing that happens.
It’s not the Loch Ness Monster.

https://kaiserneko.tumblr.com/post/121816884560/rp0077-micasablumpkins

9. Soup’s on

Ok but how though?

https://keetongu.tumblr.com/post/142088033928/still-fancy-that-cup-of-soup-now

8. The they

Seriously, everyone I grew up with used “they” as a gender-neutral singular all the time and didn’t have a problem with it until people started asking them to.

https://heyheyrenay.tumblr.com/post/180041315239/mauthedoog-baras

7. Absolutely smoked

You walked right into that one.

6. This is relevant

English is just a stew.

5. Under control

We get it, you’re vaped.

4. Would love to come

It’s five bucks dude, that’s like one beer.

3. Densely speaking

Shine bright like a diamond.

2. Soup strikes back!

No idea if this response is real but I want it to be.

1. Just a little bit

Let’s get way down deep.

Well I need to go fan myself off after all that heat.

What’s the best comeback you’ve heard recently?

Tell us in the comments.

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Women Dating Men Open Up About Their Unexpected Affairs with Women

Do you sometimes feel like maybe you’re not living a very adventurous life?

I mean, I’ve done plenty of interesting things in my time and have had the pleasure of creating things and even making money having a lot of fun with my hobbies.

But then I read stories like these, about making new discoveries about your own sexuality in the midst of fiery affairs and I think “Wow, am I boring?”

But also…I don’t want the baggage?

I think I’ll just read some accounts from these anonymous posters.

10. “I’m too afraid to tell him.”

How does one start a conversation like that?

Source: Whisper

9. “The truth is…”

People don’t stop being bisexual once they get married.
Sexual orientation and commitment aren’t the same thing?

Source: Whisper

8. “I’m that girl.”

With a twist to the typical story.

Source: Whisper

7. “I can’t help but miss her.”

What do you do when your heart is split in two?

Source: Whisper

6. “No clue.”

Are you sure he doesn’t suspect a thing?

Source: Whisper

5. “A female coworker.”

To be fair, that’s the only way you can book a conference room.

Source: Whisper

4. “No one would ever suspect this.”

And what will they think when they find out?

Source: Whisper

3. “I ruined my relationship.”

Well, cheating will do that.

Source: Whisper

2. “I could never come out.”

The pressure to stay in the closet is still very real.

Source: Whisper

1. “If only he knew…”

Then what?

Source: Whisper

Wild, wild stuff.

Have you had an experience like this?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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Weird Ways to Turn Lies into Money

With all the lies we’re constantly surrounded by, it’s kind of frustrating that we can’t glean SOME kind of good out of them.

But what if we could…

Every time someone lies to you, $100 gets deposited to your bank account. What is the fastest way for you to get rich? from AskReddit

How might the denizens of Reddit capitalize on such a universe? Let’s find out.

1. Start a business.

Contract myself out as a foolproof lie detector.

– GMaimneds

2. Get both sides.

Ask my mum and dad individually about how their divorce went down

– maayooo6381

3. Pretty please?

Gather all your relatives and ask “I am beautiful, right?”.

Easy cash

– [user deleted]

4. Scam-a-thon.

Give you email address and phone number out at every available opportunity and let the scams roll in

– acrobaticalpaca6464

5. Be a vet.

I’m a veterinarian.

They’re not giving the pills to the dog like I told you to, the check is not in the mail, you’re not cutting out his treats, and you’re not exercising them enough.

Seriously, I’d make a fortune.

– Algaean

6. Shop around.

Attend one political rally after the other.

And if votes are not in season, go shopping for used cars or looking for houses.

– Treczoks

7. Doing the math.

I can say “1+1=3” in .72 seconds (yes, I did time myself). If I make a full minute of that, that’s 83 (.33) lies per minute. At x10 speed that’s 830 lies per minute. If I play this track over itself such that they never line up perfectly, then I can get a lie to start at each of the smallest increments the editing software can handle. So if it can handle .01 at the smallest, then you get 83×72 (5976) recordings in one track. Played at x10 speed, lol, you get 59,760 lies per minute for $5,976,000 per minute.

If you take that track and auto tune it to every possible frequency that can be assigned by the software you use (let’s pretend it’s 1000) then you can be lied to at every frequency in every split second at x10 speed. For 59,760,000 lies per minute. This makes a whopping 5,976,000,000 per minute. Suck a dick, Bezos.

Will this sound like garbage? Ya, totally. But if I quietly dub this over whatever songs are in my music playlists then I can listen to music while I get lied to. Hell, the music might even have some lies in it. Cardi can’t have a WAP 24/7, right? According to Ben that’s not healthy.

– Arkmer

8. Ho ho ho!

Talk about your suspicions of Santa’s validity, in a large crowd, while holding a 5y on your lap.

– [user deleted]

9. Spare some change.

Beg on a busy street.

“I’m hungry, do you have some change?”

– ozdkyt

10. Your own terms.

Make a website where someone has to check a box stating they’ve read and agree to the terms and conditions

– grungerat_

11. What an opportunity!

Go to an MLM convention.

Those hun bots will get you rich quicker than they claim LuLaRoe will!

– cmonyy

12. Be precise.

Ask them everyone how old they are.

They could say 26, but in reality they are actually 26 years, 3 months, 12 days, 8 hours, 2 minutes and 22 seconds.

– Ooodles-of-nooodles

13. Farm it out.

giving 10$ to every person that lies to you.

– NotAFatAlien

14. Work in tech.

I mean, I work at a tech company and we get lies all the time.

I’m pretty sure half of the people could just go to work and make an easy thousand dollars

– billionai1

15. Not OK.

Just go around saying “Hi, how are you?”

“Good!”

$100

– peon2

Of course, the definition of “lie” might challenge some of these. Does it have to be something simply untrue, or something the speaker KNOWS to be untrue? Does anything involving an opinion count or does it have to be objective?

There are many things to consider.

Keep the conversation going in the comments.

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