Tweets That Should Have Won Awards if They Were Given for Such Things

Welcome to the first annual Twitter Awards, hosted by me!

Only 13 of these awards are handed out yearly, for reasons known only to be, in categories which are likely to change from year to year.

So, now that we all understand it, put on your best “good sport loser” face and prepare for the glitz and glamour of award season with these thirteen funny tweets!

13. Best Book Tweet

Man, that would be hilarious.

12. Best Non-Trashy Pronoun Joke

And I wish you the very best of luck with you predicament.

11. Best Ice Cream Observation

This would work like semaphore or flying colors, allowing us to know from a distance what to avoid.

10. Best Historical Joke

Do you want a revolution?

9. Best Name

When your parents know from the start exactly where you’re life is going.

8. Best Biblical Rewrite

I’m sending you some materials for a script treatment now.

7. Most Money Award

Give me some while you’re at it?

6. Best Historical Contextualization

They’d probably burn it at the stake as a witch.

5. Best Reference

You sure come highly recommended.

4. Safest Gaming

The gentlest video game company makes the most dangerous stuff.

3. Best Multitasking

Are you still in class while you’re tweeting this?

2. Best Picture

It’s a tie!

1. Kids Choice Award

It’s hard to imagine a circumstance quite so dismal.

We hope you’ve enjoyed this award ceremony. Seat fillers can collect their checks on the way out.

What internet creators do you think should win an award, and what should that award be called?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Tweets That Should Have Won Awards if They Were Given for Such Things appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About Their Most Embarrassing and Hilarious Work Fails

The only thing worse than doing a job you don’t love every day is epically failing at that job.

But that’s not gonna stop these people from telling the whole world about it after a prompt from account @b3ta asking for “work felated f*ck-ups.”

Let’s see what the damage is, Twitter.

15. The grand rejection

Sounds like you really unmade their day. And yours too!

14. A single piece of paperwork

The justice system strikes again.

13. Seeing red

When you’re here, you’re family.

12. In the meme time

It’s downright weird that this is a real job description.

11. Going down

Oh yeah. I knew that. Totally. I’m just um. Gonna disappear now.

10. Watch your accounts

Where’s the lie though.

9. The broadside of a barn

Be careful what you do in anger, it may follow you forever.

8. He’s a fake!

Was this kid under the impression before that giant singing rats were real?

7. You had to be there

Misuse of the various email reply options fill me with dread on a daily basis.

6. A graceful exit

Well, what would there be to mention about it?

5. First impressions

Kinda surprised they didn’t call the cops to investigate or something.

4. That’s heavy

The sort of thing you’re not easily gonna forget.

3. A sinking feeling

Wait there was a Kardashian mobile game?

2. Slow things down

I’m curious to know what this even means.

1. My condolences

It’s a stale joke anyway, friend.

If you haven’t had a great day at work, try not to worry about it too much. Maybe these examples made you feel better?

What’s a screw up you’ve encountered?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Talk About Their Most Embarrassing and Hilarious Work Fails appeared first on UberFacts.

Prime Examples of the #BookFace Challenge

There’s a cool thing you can do to look cool AND literate on the Internet.

It’s real simple. Check it out. All ya gotta do is grab a book with a cover that you can make match yourself or your surroundings, take a picture with the correct perspective, and let that sweet, sweet Internet wash over you.

Sounds fun right? That’s because it is! These people did it, and they’ll never look back. Check out some of the best examples of the #BookFace challenge on Instagram.

15. Adele Parks

…is the name of the author, I’m not actually sure what this book is.

14. Autumn

I dunno, you look more like a winter to me.

13. The Only Pirate at the Party

And yet not a single peg leg? Very very suspicious.

12. Back Cover

Does this guy even know you’re taking a picture of him right now?

11. Hey, Water!

Hey, a cool photo!

10. I Don’t Want to Wash

5 years of Spanish classes and that’s about the most translating I can do.

9. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Though ironically it’s more of a medium shot.

8. Sofies Welt

That is one THICK German philosophy book.

7. Who is Ruth Bader Ginsburg

We can only hope you’ll be the next RBG, little one.

6. Hands Are Not For Hitting

But are they for throwing though?

5. How to Steal a Dog

I just keep singing this to the tune of “How to Save a Life” in my head.

4. Magnetism

I am strangely drawn to this.

3. The Queen’s Gambit

It’s your move.

2. Acceptable Risk

Like using a stranger for this pose?

1. Joe Dimaggio: The Hero’s Life

Put me in, coach.

Man, almost makes me want to read a book. Almost.

What’s your favorite book you’ve read lately?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Prime Examples of the #BookFace Challenge appeared first on UberFacts.

Check Out These Fascinatingly Useless Talents That People Have

Everybody has a useless skill or two. For example, I can make a dolphin noise with my mouth. I’ve never met anyone else who can do it in the way I can, and it’s gained me exactly nothing in this life.

I’m teaching my 5 year old niece to do it so she can keep the torch of meaninglessness aflame, because these things are important.

What’s a useless talent of yours? from AskReddit

So what useless skills to the people of Reddit have? Let’s delve in.

1. That special touch

[I can touch my nose with my tongue] too.

I never understood why all the guys in my class would ask to see my “cool trick” and why the girls hated me.

– Ret*rdoTheGayDolphin

2. Rip roarin’ time

I can reproduce the exact sound of a chainsaw with my mouth

– frank_98_

3. Anyone can whistle

I can whistle in many different ways.

Actually very useful for annoying the f*ck out of everyone.

– ilovebravebrowser

4. Reading and writing

I can read and write at the same time. I’ll read a bit, process it, send it to my hand, and take notes while I read the next bit. It was very useful in college but I got burnt out and have a sh*t job now, so it’s not useful to me any more :/

At my peak it was like having my own internal secretary. Good times.

Edit for clarity: Yes I mean reading one thing while writing another thing

– ipakookapi

5. Don’t do it

If I drop the soap in the shower 9 times out of 10 I can catch it before it hits the floor.

I call the skill being soapidextrous.

Sadly, I have never been to prison which is the only place this skill might come in handy.

– slartibartjars

6. The fart of the deal

Farting with whatever loudness I want. I can somehow control the loudness of my farts without a change in the quantity of them

– Minecraft_Player1475

7. A whole lsit

Ooh my wife says I have quite a few utterly useless talents! Among them:

Remembering the lyrics to a song after only listening to it 1-2x.

Knowing what time it is within 5 minutes regardless of when I last looked at the clock.

Throwing our son’s toys into their baskets/buckets with stupid accuracy.

Avoiding stopping short when driving by accelerating / decelerating at the perfect time when coming up on yellow lights.

– ReallyCleverName69

8. Very snappy

I can snap, like, really loud.

Like if i snap too close to my head or someone else’s it can cause my/their ears to ring.

– Nogard_Ruler_Brynn

9. On the fence

I took 3 years of fencing. Not a lot of call for sword fighting these days. However It did come in handy just once when I was in the army and we were getting riot control training, a bunch of us were dicking around with the batons and I managed to do pretty well in a 4 on one baton duel.

But really it’s a useless talent.

– Wacokidwilder

10. That’s still a thing?

I’m really good at Dance Dance Revolution.

Like not “play sometimes and can play on medium” like I’ve traveled and won tournaments in other cities and can perfect most songs on the hardest difficulty.

It’s fun and a great workout but it doesn’t really get me anywhere in life.

– PoPo573

11. Cursed cursive

I can write (in cursive) backwards… neatly… hold it up to a mirror and its perfectly neat and legible

– MelodyM620

12. Gotta hand it to ya

I can do ALL the “hand and finger movement tricks” more or less perfectly..

Like spinning hands in opposite direction, patting head – rubbing belly, split fingers in the middle, leaving the two middle fingers together while spreading pinky and pointer finger, and so on…

I learned this back when games came on 1.44 discs and there was a lot of waiting time.

– guvakkamole

13. Battle ready

Knowledge of military equipment and tactics (I don’t claim to be a tactical genius or know how the military works, I’ve never served).

I’ve read so many books about military hardware, supply chains, tactics and much more that just ends up being useless at the end of the day.

– Ghost-Rider9925

14. Just my type

I can type fast. On typing tests I average 85-90wpm if I’m tired but I can go up to 120wpm for up to 5 minutes at a time with over 90% accuracy if my fingers are extra nimble.

It might sound useful but it’s really not. Past about 50wpm there’s no real purpose because nobody’s job is to type up documents or anything anymore.

When I’m typing an email or essay or something I don’t need to type nearly that fast.

– ceramicthumb

15. Guilty slumber

I can sleep peacefully even if I didn’t do my homework

– Neoptys

Here’s to all the useless skills out there. One day perhaps you’ll find a home.

What’s your most pointless talent?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Check Out These Fascinatingly Useless Talents That People Have appeared first on UberFacts.

Take a Look at These 15 “Holy Grails” of Random Collections

I’ve had very random, half-hearted collections throughout the years.

When I was a kid and home internet was still a new thing, I would collect discs and CDs that had free internet service trials on them. I realize that for any Gen Z people reading this that probably sounds like gibberish, so maybe I should keep this more accessible and mention my less than impressive shot glass collection instead.

In any case, I’ve never been serious enough to really go for a “holy grail,” like these people on Reddit did.

What is the "holy grail" of the thing you’re a collector of? from AskReddit

Here are some of the big find items for these categories of collections:

1. Obsolete tech

I collect obsolete tech, my personal holy grail would have to be the Halcyon video game console from 1985.

There were only a handful that were actually produced and most likely even fewer still floating around.

– starcabin_

2. Vinyl

While I do not personally collect vinyl, I love this story.

“During the early days of the White Stripes, Jack White teamed up with musician friend Brian Muldoon to form The Upholsterers. Both former upholsterers, the pair then hid 100 copies of their song ‘Your Furniture Was Always Dead… I Was Just Afraid To Tell You’ in reupholstered furniture around Detroit in 2004.”

A few have been found, but last I checked only like 4-5. I just love the idea of opening up a chair and finding a Jack White album placed there by the man himself.

– AllBadAnswers

3. Nintendo

Nintendo world championship gold cartridge NES.

– Fezzic5

4. Artifacts

probably ancient Greek or Roman coins which have been perfectly preserved

– theeCrawlingChaos

5. Niche art

An original Bob Ross painting.

He painted 3 for every show.

Almost none are in circulation though.

– edward_anastasio

6. Comics

The hulk vs wolverine comic where MARVEL introduced Wolverine as a side character not supposed to become big.

– lookin4BEANSS

7. Rudolph memorabilia

My mom collects Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer stuff. She has an entire room of it.

I think her holy grails are a table and chairs set, artwork signed by the original designer, a rocking horse, and I’m pretty sure she has one of the original film reels.

– YourMomsSideUp

8. Roller-coasters

I collect roller-coaster credits (that is, I track the coasters I have ridden).

There are a few grails, mostly coasters that only opened for a short time or we’re in obscure parts of the world. I have one of the holiest of grails: I rode ring°racer at the Nurburgring during one of the four days it was open to the public.

The only rarer credits out there are Twist Coaster Robin (Japan, only open for a few hours) and Orphan Rocker (never opened; it is estimated four people have ever ridden it).

– Alaeriia

9. Stamps

Really fun modern stamps. I don’t want the old ones or the rare ones. I really just enjoy modern fun stamps.

I buy thousands of dollars per year in postage for my company and all of it is in fun stamps, not meter credit. Every piece of mail I send for business has a fun stamp on it. Sesame street, mr rogers, first space walk, thermographic solar eclipse stamps, scratch and sniff popsicles, and soon the star wars stamps!!! I love them all and want to share them with my clients.

My holy grail would be more harry potter stamps. Those were really cool stamps.

– KiniShakenBake

10. Model trains

My holy grail was just recently accomplished. As a model train collector, the centerpiece of any toy train collection is the Lionel Blue Comet, a tinplate train they made in the 1930s and continue to make in varying forms today. The most valuable versions are the 400E Standard Gauge and 296E O Gauge “Baby Blue Comet”, both of which Lionel made in the 1930s out of tinplate and clad in enamel paint. Mine is a 262E, a small O gauge engine that almost never came in blue apart from maybe one or two examples I’ve found online.

Here is a picture of it.

My Blue Comet isn’t the most glamorous or expensive model, in fact it cost me $150 for the engine and tender, but it satisfies something deep inside me that I don’t want any other tinplate Blue Comets anymore. I think that’s what a “holy grail” should be: something that puts to rest a long-gestating want for something.

​ – Reymond_StJames

11. Video games

I collect video games, and I really really want a copy of Hideo Kojima’s “Snatcher” for the Sega CD.

– jidar

12. Perfume

I used to collect high end perfume and there are a lot of vintage classics that are highly coveted.

Even a small decant (5ml or so) could be really hard to track down and then very expensive if you could find it.

But my *personal* holy grail is a perfume that was discontinued in 2011 or 12 and then re-released in a very limited quantity, but only in Paris, in 2016 or so. The only 2 or 3 bottles still available for sale are going for over $650 and…I’m very sad about that.

It’s Iris Ganache by Guerlain, if anyone is curious.

– NicoleNicole1988

13. Beanie Babies

I collect Beanie Babies. (no, I don’t think they’ll get valuable, I just legitimately like them lol)

Most Beanie Babies are worth very little. But for serious collectors, the holy grail is the Peanut the Elephant Beanie Baby, in royal blue! Only a small amount of royal blue Peanuts were produced, (1500-2000 or so) very soon after, the creator decided that Peanut would look better in light blue. (Teeny Beanie and Beanie Buddy royal blue Peanuts were later produced on a larger scale) Royal blue Peanut is probably the most valuable Beanie Baby, selling for up to a thousand dollars.

– PartyPorpoise

14. Plants

I collect plants! For a lot of plant collectors, philodendron spiritus sancti is the holy grail.

They’re endangered, and more of them exist in the homes of private collectors and growers than in the wild.

A small plant goes for around $10k. I saw an auction for one go close to $15k.

My personal holy grail is a variegated rhaphidophora tetrasperma. Maybe one day I will be super lucky and find a random sport variegated one!

– mmmatchaball

15. Guitars

1959 Sunburst Les Paul

Of the few that are on the market, some have gone for well into the six, and (maybe?) seven figures

– DreadPirateCristo

Remember, before you go throwing literally anything out, look it up online. There may well be someone looking for just that!

What would be the holy grail of your collection?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Take a Look at These 15 “Holy Grails” of Random Collections appeared first on UberFacts.

Signs of a Truly Good Friendship

I don’t know if this is actually a well-known song or if I just grew up in a very specific circle, but there’s kind of a cheeseball tune by a guy named Michael W. Smith that goes:

“And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
‘Cause the welcome will not end”

From here we can surmise that a true friend is endlessly welcoming and also religious, apparently. But let’s see if we can broaden that a bit, with the help of Reddit.

What are some of the "green flags" of a true freindship? from AskReddit

Here are some solid green flags, regardless of your feelings for the Lord.

1. Pick back up

Even if you haven’t seen each other in a while you’re able to pick up right where you both left off.

– radpandaparty

2. Non-compete

When they don’t try to compete with you, aren’t jealous of you, truly are happy for you when good things happen to you don’t give you back handed compliments and don’t put you down.

When they don’t talk bad about you behind your back.

Good friends listen to you, care about you and are there by your side through good and bad times.

– Fitbarbie1

3. “Get a divorce”

When my dad got divorced, he found a lot of his friends were really just my mom’s friends.

He had exactly ONE friend who helped him pack up and move. His joke after this was if you win the lottery, you’ll find out real quick how big your family apparently is. But if you wanna find out how many friends you have, get a divorce.

The lesson here is that a true friend will stand by you even in a really dark place where they have absolutely nothing to benefit from standing by your side, and even in some cases, something to lose.

– wehosh

4. Stepping up and stepping in

I got the news that my grandma was dying this past Tuesday.

Unfortunately I had work at 4 and class before hand so I planned on going to see her the next day. But my sister was insistent that she wasn’t going to make.

Texting my group chat I asked my other shift leads (only can switch with a SL due to me being a SL) to ask if anyone could cover. No one answered. I left for work early. At the shop, I was beyond frustrated at my friends that I started ranting to my old co worker ( and now my absolute best friend) who quit a few weeks ago.

He jokingly said he could cover if my boss let him. Literally a few mins later my boss walks in, and in tears I explained to him my situation and agreed to let my friend cover my shift for me. My friend agreed and he came in to the shop literally 20 mins later.

I was able to see my grandma and say my goodbyes that night. My grandma passed away an hour after I left. The realest of them all.

– nutttymeag

5. Hot gos

When nothing you ever told them, ends up as gossip.

– MorgainofAvalon

6. Laughter

Being able to make each other laugh.

Really, truly, help-I-can’t-breathe laughter.

I didn’t realize how rare it was until it was too late.

– hamanar

7. Listening skills

When they listen to your problems and give you intelligent solutions, or remember something you once told them that was important to you.

– NotAnNSASpySatellite

8. The list

For me, there are usually a lot of those little green flags, but a few stand out.

1) You can tell that the person is genuinely concerned or truly sad when something terrible and/or heartbreaking happens to you.

2) They become angry on your behalf whenever someone hurts you, disrespects you, screws you over, etc., and they go into protective mode for you.

3) They’ll remind you of all the great things about yourself during those dark times when you can’t see such things so clearly.

4) They remember details about things you’ve discussed with them.

5) They let that song that you love play until the end – even if it’s a song they don’t really dig.

– SquirrellyRabbit

9. Pitching in

I’ve always noticed that with new acquaintances that turned out later to become good friends of mine there’s a big focus on respect, consideration, and reciprocity from the get go.

Obviously it’s cool to take turns buying lunch for each other but I’ve also hosted new friends that would clean up for me before they left while my old friends leave beer cans everywhere.

That new person expressed through their actions “I respect you offering your home, that’s why I considered to return you at least a small favor of cleaning up my mess just because I appreciate the relationship we have”.

– Layton115

10. No expectations

Doing things for you without any expectation of reciprocation.

– RedditRam24

11. Checking in

When they will stop doing stuff they like or want to do in order to see if you’re okay or need anything.

– CSPStuff

12. How far will you go?

Loyalty with a breaking point.

Obviously all friends should be loyal, but I think the best things one of my best friends ever did for me was threaten to end our friendship.

I liked a girl who was toxic, but I kept going back to her. My friend and I were on the phone one night and I told her I was talking to this girl again and she just got real quiet and she said “I know how bad she has hurt you before because you tell me. And I tell you every time she’s not worth it, but you keep going back. I can’t keep seeing you get your heart broken when it’s your choice because then I pick up the pieces and you do it again. If you do this, eventually we’re going to wake up one day and we won’t be friends.”

Talk about the strongest kick of realization I ever had. My friend had known me so much longer than this girl. And she had never done anything to screw me over like this girl had. I told the toxic girl that night and told her I didn’t want to be friends anymore.

So, loyalty, but with a breaking point.

– expletiveinyourmilk

13. Feeling comfortable

When you’re with them and you don’t have to second guess anything or feel self-conscious. When you can just say what you want to say without rehearsing it first.

(Of course, this differs depending on your level of social anxiety, but I find that in general you should feel more at ease around true friends).

– iniestas

14. Secrets

You can tell them your deepest darkest Secrets the things that you’re ashamed of and embarrassed about and know there will be no judgement

– kcpstil

15. REAL secrets

They tell you about the bodies even when they haven’t asked for your help burying them.

– AsboZapruder

That reminds me, I need to tell my buddy Mike about some bodies.

What would you add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Signs of a Truly Good Friendship appeared first on UberFacts.

What’s a Good Cheap or Free Hobby To Get Into?

Why is everything so dang expensive these days? Even the hobbies you can do at home add up super quick, it seems.

Keeping up with the latest gaming can cost a lot, and even TV watching has become prohibitively expensive again for many as we’re asked by a billion companies to sign up for endless individual streaming services to watch what we want.

There’s gotta be some cheaper stuff to do, right Reddit?

What hobby do you enjoy that’s cheap/free? from AskReddit

Not to worry, they’ve got some ideas!

1. Cooking

Cooking can be a pretty cheap hobby.

I mean, you have to eat anyway, might as well enjoy the processes of making your own food.

– Ointenso

2. Writing

I actually have honest talks with myself through writing.

You’d be amazed how much reading your own thoughts can help you.

– Loozka

3. Hiking

Hiking.

Find parks or trails in your area and check them out.

There are a lot of cool places to explore.

– NilsaPhilip

4. Working out

Working out.

Even when stuck indoors self isolating or whatever, there is a lot of stuff you can do without any equipment.

Body weight stuff like press ups, squats, sit ups etc.

– Flygon_S

5. …this!

Chess.

– Xseros

6. Cross Stitch

Cross stitch! Basically pixel art on fabric.

You can get a ton of patterns online for free or just a few bucks, and the thread/fabric for a first project usually runs $5-10 and will keep you busy several hours. (You can buy a beginner kit at any hobby store.)

It’s what I do to unwind every night and I’ve had some beautiful results if I may say so. ?

– Andromeda321

7. Reading

Reading.

Books are generally cheap and nowadays you can even find lots of classics online for free

– Jorgensen01

8. Embroidery

Embroidery – while there are lots of tools and fancy equipment you can get if you get really into it, it’s one of the cheaper crafts to get started with.

You just need some fabric, a hoop, some needles, and some embroidery floss – you can get started with about $10.

I bought one kit to see if I liked it and then used the leftover materials plus a piece of scrap fabric to start making my own designs.

– goose_juggler

9. Rock collecting

Looking at rocks, collecting rocks, using sandpaper and labor to polish rocks.

– Aninternerloser

10. Arrowhead hunting

Arrowhead hunting.

I think it’s neat to find something that humans made that hasn’t been touched in hundreds or thousands of years.

I live near a river in the Midwest (U.S.) and the farmer’s fields along the river tend to have a good supply of stone-age tools/weapons.

Always get permission first though!

– Dan_mcmxc

11. Homebrewing

Homebrewing.

It’s not necessarily cheap/free, but I was going to spend the money on good beer anyway, so I might as well make a hobby out of it. Once your initial equipment investment is done, you’re just paying for ingredients, which are pretty inexpensive (around 75 cents per beer on an IPA for 5 gallon batches, cheaper for less hoppy styles).

At the low end you can be into the hobby for around $100-150, and for a high quality setup you’re talking $3-500. Ingredients cost me $30-40 per 5 gallon batch, which means I’m spending half what I would normally on craft beer. It takes about a year or 2 to amortize your initial equipment costs, and at that point you’re playing with house money.

Granted, with higher-end equipment there’s basically no upper limit to what you can spend on this hobby, but that basically only applies if you’re someone with gear acquisition syndrome.

It’s also helped me cut my alcohol consumption down (at least since the holidays), because at this point I’m trying to only drink what I brew, which means fewer trips to the beer store just because I feel like it. It’s also a fun creative outlet for me, I probably spend as much time planning my brew days and designing recipes as I do brewing the beer itself.

– duffman13jws

12. Coin roll hunting

Coin Roll Hunting r/crh

You buy rolls of coins from the bank, search them for rare dates, old coins, errors (ie double strikes, off-center strikes), silver coins (in rolls of dimes/quarters/halves), foreign coins.

Then you either roll them back up or bring to a coin counting machine. The only cost is the coins you keep.

– theshoegazer

13. Foraging

I do foraging/wildcrafting in the last few years. So far my only expense was 10$ garden gloves for dealing with extra mean plants. On the contrary, it supplies me with a supply of herbal teas, spices, and [depending on the season] fruit and vegetables and various goods made from them – including ones that are way above my budget, had I bought them in the grocery store.

Caution 1: please avoid eating or using wild plants unless you are 100% certain you know what they are and how to handle them correctly.

Caution 2: Please harvest responsibly. Don’t take more than you need, and make sure not to damage plants along the way, and leave enough of the plant and/or patch to recover and grow again the next year. Leave struggling plants, protected species and nature reserves alone.

– With_Trees

14. Fishing

Fishing.

There’s people that’ll spend thousands but if you have a fresh or saltwater access nearby, it’s an inexpensive hobby to get into that’ll keep you entertained.

– Growbigbuds

15. Reddit

Scroll through Reddit trying to find new hobbies and enjoyment but not actually getting anywhere.

– GiantGeorge14

Sounds fun, I may just have to give a few of those a try!

What other cheap/free hobbies would you recommend?

Tell us in the comments.

The post What’s a Good Cheap or Free Hobby To Get Into? appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About the Biggest Friendship “Green Flags”

There aren’t many things in this life better than having a truly good friend at your side.

But how can you tell when it’s the real thing? Maybe Reddit can help.

What are some of the "green flags" of a true freindship? from AskReddit

Here are some sure-fire signs to look out for.

1. Text first

They text you first when they don’t want anything.

– SilasDeane76

2. Protection

My friend once told me ” I Won’t let anyone hurt you man, even yourself” while helping me get off drugs.

That always rang out as a true friend thing to say to someone.

– Generalkrunk

3. No judgement

When they don’t judge you for things you can’t control. In high school, I had a sleepover, we all slept in the same bed, like normal.

I’d recently started some new medication. Turns out, a side effect was bedwetting.

They never told anyone. They never judged me. They helped me change the sheets. I’m still friends with those girls.

– SheketBevakaSTFU

4. Nothing and everything

When you can talk about nothing and talk about deep things.

Lots of friends only have one or the other.

– kraftykitten

5. Confidence

When you don’t have to talk 24/7 to know that you’re there for each other no matter what.

And when you do see/talk to each other again, it’s like no time has passed at all – you just have more stories to tell.

– ridiculoys

6. Hang time

“wanna hang out” then you don’t hang out and neither of you mind and then you hang out next week

– JAdamsidk123

7. The reverse

They’ll make fun of you to your face and defend you behind your back.

– Duluthian378181

8. The night life

When its 3am, you KNOW its 3am, NEITHER OF YOU ARE HIGH, and yet you’ve both been chortling at something that was said at 10:30…

– RedditGremlin13

9. Always welcome

When they can walk into your house unannounced and be welcomed in like a blood brother who’s come back after being away for the weekend

– jorph

10. Pick me up

You’ve both picked each other up or dropped each other at the airport at some ungodly hour and still enjoyed the drive.

– findingthescore

11. Silence is golden

Not needing to talk all the time or hang out regularly to justify having a solid friendship.

– themarajade1

12. It’s all convenient

They don’t mind being “inconvenienced” by you (in other words they don’t mind helping you/ being there for you)

– Jazz_Xyz

13. Feeling seen

When you can recognize someone’s mood without them telling you that they are upset.

– Oreo-and-Fly

14. Just to vent

I think the best thing I’ve heard from one of the few friends I’ve had is when I was having a real sh*t day and they asked if I wanted advice, just to vent, or needed a distraction.

The intention that day had been to help paint some walls in her house. She was perfectly fine with me hanging out and chatting, curled up in a blanket on the couch, while she painted her own walls and then we ordered takeout.

The sh*t was bad, but the day wound up pretty good.

– ElectronicFerret

15. Hmm…

One of my friends understands pretty much exactly what me going “hmm” at different lengths and pitches means.

– Trans-Trash-0310

If you’ve got yourself a friend that fits any of those descriptions, hang on to ’em.

What else would you add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Talk About the Biggest Friendship “Green Flags” appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss What They’ve Did to Get Over a Crush They Had for Years

I don’t know why the word for liking somebody a lot is “crush,” but if I had to guess, it’s because going through it just ABSOLUTELY CRUSHES YOUR SOUL.

So how do you shake a crush that’s crushing you to no benefit?

What helped you get over a crush you had for years? from AskReddit

Let us sit at the feet of Reddit and gather its wisdom.

1. “The idea of her.”

Well, for me, I kept telling myself that I did not fall in love with her, but with the idea of her.

I had always imagined a future with her… I wouldn’t bore you with the details, but yeah in those imaginations she seemed to be so excited about my presence, I mean she was in real life too (she’s a pretty good friend of mine), but in those dreams, a little more, I guess?

But anyway the fabricated and real girl were almost pole opposites in nature. So I kept telling myself for three years that the girl I actually had a crush on never existed. I liked the girl in my imagination, and there, she liked me back too; it wasn’t the case with the real one.

So that’s what helped me move on from her.

She’s still my friend, maybe we’re not as close as we were before, maybe it’s for the best. I still sometimes get slight feelings for her, but I’m sure it will wear out with time.

– PlatypusNo81

2. “The last time we talked.”

The fact that I just stopped initiating the conversation and that was the last time we talked.

– peanutcopter

3. “Crying.”

A lot of time.

A lot of crying and a lot of time spent on my own.

– pr1nc3sskn33saa

4. “Found a woman.”

Found a woman who was interested in me.

It’s so much better when the feelings are mutual.

– ChaseDonovan

5. “The realization.”

The realization that I would probably feel lonely in a relationship with him.

– AMythRetold

6. “Deal breaker.”

He tried to stab his mom.

That was kind of a deal breaker.

– KSmegal

7. “A lack of ambition.”

Realizing she had a lack of ambition with her life, and that I was a lot more invested into maintaining the relationship than she was.

Something I always try to remember going forward is that you have to separate what the relationship used to be/what it could be vs. what it actually is.

Some things you just can’t change or work out.

– Megaric

8. “I then found out…”

My grandma ran into his dad at my open house and I then found out that we are cousins

– notgreatbutstillok

9. “My realization.”

My realization of how I was an absolute stalker on his social media

– CelebrationHot5209

10. “Crushes can make you stupid.”

I should have known it wasn’t going to turn out well when we started making out while her boyfriend was in the bathroom.

An obvious red flag now, but just the coolest, most slow motion movie scene at the time.

Crushes can make you stupid.

– philatio11

11. “Complete 180.”

My feelings didn’t change when she was interested in other guys…until she actively tried to date a married guy.

COMPLETE 180 for me on that one in mere seconds. 2 year-long mega crush gone.

– YeomaTV

12. “I dump the crush.”

Imagining hypothetical situations for so long that I discovered the situation where we actually go out but then I dump the crush

– Revoider

13. “Became his friend.”

Became his friend.

Turns out, he is not my type AT ALL. I only liked the idea of him.

The mystery of not knowing him was what made him attractive.

– Sreejoinder

14. “She said ‘no.’”

Coming in way too late, but here goes.

When I finally told her how I felt and was rejected, I asked her if she ever thought about the possibility of us together. She said “No.” It was as if I could feel my brain rewiring right there in the moment, because I realized I wasted so many years pining over someone who never once considered me in the same way.

Who knows what opportunities I missed because I was so fixated on her? Thankfully I got out of my head in my early 20’s before it impeded anymore growth on my part.

– sonaked

15. “Too similar.”

Our interests were too similar.

I liked girls, so did she.

– AshCooper79

Ah. Yeah. Well, that’ll do it.

Have you ever shaken a big crush? How did you pull it off?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Discuss What They’ve Did to Get Over a Crush They Had for Years appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About the Most Messed-Up Things Strangers Told Them

One phrase that was cool when I was a kid but has now fallen out of use entirely is “TMI,” or “too much information.”

Turning phrases into acronyms was once, on its own, an entire joke. I don’t know why. It just was.

And when someone hit you with something unexpectedly bizarre about their life, you just said “T-M-I!” and reveled in the sitcom laugh track in your head.

What’s the most fucked up thing someone has told you about themselves after barely getting to know them? from AskReddit

What are the TMI experiences of Reddit? Let’s find out.

1. Fear and respect

I (25f at the time) was at A&E in the UK. I got discharged and was waiting for my taxi outside. This buff shirtless dude, covered in tattoos (they were decent too, imo) comes over and asks for a light. I bought a zippo for novelty so I obliged.

We got to talking and he told me how he had just got out of prison after serving a life sentence for killing his father, after his father murdered his baby sister. Had his records on him and everything (he was at the hospital as he was diabetic and had experienced an issue of some sort after being released – I have no expertise here).

I have never feared and respected a man so much in my life.

I bought him a pint after my taxi decided it wouldn’t be arriving. Decent bloke – we still speak 9 years later.

– heavenhelpyou

2. Twilight years

I remember the first friend I made at my new high school when I was 14 so vividly. Just as we were walking out of the classroom where we had just met she turns around and cheerfully chimes:

“oh, by the way. I’m a vampire.”

Yes, Twilight had just come out. That entire school was so weird.

I remember another girl noticed I had cut myself shaving and insisted on putting a bandaid on for me as she muttered things like “you have no idea how difficult this is for me”. (Yes, she also claimed to be a vampire.)

Small towns, man.

– U535087

3. Tea and sympathy

I used to work at an animal shelter and we had several people who would come volunteer to help out.

One of the women who came there on a regular basis went to lunch with me. She was such a sweet woman, a little older than I was at the time. She proceeded to tell me that she used to go to the park and give old men bl*w j*bs because she felt sorry for them.

WTF?

– moviesandcats

4. That’s hardcore

First night at my first base right out of tech school in the USAF…

“Hi! My name is Mike and I’m into hardcore S&M!”

Still had to share a room with him a few nights.

– 1369311007

5. The mix up

My manager at my job in high school decided to tell us about her suicide attempt on my very first day.

She was like, “One day, I decided to take some pills and end it all. I grabbed a pill bottle out of my mom’s cabinet and took a handful without even looking at what it was and then lay down to die. I was so surprised to wake up in the morning perfectly fine. Confused, I checked the bottle to see what I had taken.”

Yeah, it was estrogen.

– Nimeni013

6. The quiet kid

I sat next to this quiet kid in my Spanish class. He was awkward and had a subtle speech impediment.

One day, I tried to spark conversation with him and he told me that he considered murdering his parents.

– auxxxcordddlorddd

7. The bad hire

My boss at the time had hired an older woman who was re-entering the workforce. He wanted to fire her the first day when she couldn’t even complete the legal paperwork (maybe 20 minutes for the slowest readers) in 8 hours. He quickly lost his patience training her so he pawned her off on me.

Before the end of the first day I trained her she failed at things as I explained them to her, cried, called me a bully for trying to “train her too quickly.” She reported me to the boss and she wanted to report me to HR for creating a hostile environment. I was actually out of town at the time, but he managed to spook her enough by asking if we should just call this hiring a mistake and have her and the company mutually part ways. She straightened up pretty quick apparently.

When I came back a few days later she’s better, and more eager to learn. As we are leaving for the day her husband is waiting for her in the parking lot with her teenage son in the back seat. I pull out in my car after they do and the entire time her son is turned around in the backseat smiling at me through the rear windshield.

The following day she tells me her son has a huge crush on me now. He thinks I’m so hot and he’s going along for the ride tonight so he can see me again. Then this woman, who I have known for three days, tells me all of her teenage minor child’s physical stats including the size of his penis. Why a mother knows the size of her sons penis I do not wish to know.

I actually had to remind this woman that I was more than a decade older than her minor child. To which she sort of laughed and said he’d be older soon enough.

She did not end up working with us for long.

– Camp_Express

8. Dark realities

I was doing my practice in a hospital. They brought a young man in the neuro clinic, he was my 1st patient. He was around 30 and he had fallen from a tree while working.

He turned out to have a complicated neurological condition that had nothing to do with his fall. He was also diagnosed with severe depression. He was in there for months and no one ever visited him, the only time he felt a bit better was when I visited him and did some tests to him.

He said “it’s nice when you come and make me play with the coloured toys and make me draw things”. One day he was looking out of the window, when I came in he looked me dead in the eye and told me “you know, if the windows didn’t have protective bars, I’d jump right out”.

It was the 1st time I’d heard such thing and I remember it ever since

– Shoddy_Natural4217

9. So many questions!

I picked up a hitchhiker once that told me he left California after his wife died because the cops were asking too many questions.

I dropped him off in the next town and he paid me with a beer and we parted way

– iasip1986

10. So much so fast

Had to do a course and the trainer arrives, introduced himself to the small class of maybe 4-5 people and asked a bit about each of us, he then told us his wife had died 2 years ago and he tried to kill himself.

I felt horrible for him but he seemed genuinely happy with where his life was, I ended up staying back after class and having a beer with him at the bar he was a really cool guy I hope he is still happy.

– BrickBrickson

11. Sharp wit

That he stabbed his neighbour in the neck because he sexaully assaulted his step-daughter.

I’d worked with him for 2 hours at this point.

– devlin1888

12. Ya burnt

Some guy next to me on the bus once went into a long elaborate story about how he burned his house down for insurance money like three weeks prior.

I wouldn’t have believed it if his hands didn’t have massive burn scarring.

– STARCRUSHER99

13. Tears of a stranger

An old man asked me if I knew when the next bus would arrive and we ended up getting into a nice conversation that somehow led to him telling me about his daughter being being in an abusive relationship with a guy who made her move far away from him and his family so they couldn’t help her.

We were both crying by the time the bus arrived.

– Probablyprofanity

14. Care and care alike

Met a woman who worked I child care.

She told me all about how difficult it was working with abused boys and how she got to close to one and had sexual feelings. Showed me a picture and said anyone who meets him thinks he is really nice and not to judge him on looks….then the barman came back with my drink and I left.

That was the entirety of conversation with a VERY drunk and probably sh*tty social worker.

– AlertMike

15. At least he’s honest

My favourite question to ask new colleagues was: so, what do you do in your free time?

First person I asked: a sh*t ton of drugs.

– somethingseminormal

I…I don’t know what to do with that information.

Do you have a story like this?

Share it with us in the comments.

The post People Talk About the Most Messed-Up Things Strangers Told Them appeared first on UberFacts.