15 Students Share the One Detention That Was Totally Worth It

Few things terrify kids more than one word: detention.

Not only will their parents know they screwed up, but now they have to go sit in a room and basically do nothing. Well, besides homework. And that’s if you’re lucky. Some detentions are completely silent. Those are definitely the shittiest.

But sometimes when revenge is involved… those detentions just fly by.

Here are 15 stories of students who got back on those who had wronged them, and didn’t mind serving the time because they definitely did the crime.

1. “Because she couldn’t hold a pencil.”

I beat the crap out of a boy twice my size in 3rd grade for teasing my friend – another girl who was severely physically handicapped, in a motorized wheelchair, who had to use a computer to type because she couldn’t hold a pencil.

School had a no-tolerance policy for fighting – the principal said he understood why I did what I did but next time not to fight on school grounds…so the next time it was at a playground near the lake.

I didn’t get in trouble for that one, though the police were called.

2. “I was never bullied again after that…”

After being bullied a lot between the ages of 8-14, I finally snapped as I was ‘walking away’ from a bully and he said, ‘Keep rolling, fatboy,’ in front of a girl I liked.

I turned around in a blinding anger and hit him so hard that I broke a few bones on my hand, and his nose, He fell back and landed in a puddle of mud and started crying.

Fast forward to sitting outside the headteachers office after I was reported for fighting, and out walks my favorite teacher, who apparently saw the whole thing and argued in my corner, meaning the only punishment I got was a weeks of lunchtime detentions.

I was never bullied again after that incident and I just wish I had done it sooner.

3. “During the next class, she wouldn’t leave me alone.”

A teacher in our chemistry class had been acting aggressive and bullying towards students all year. If anyone asked for help, she would always call that person a condescending name or something.

At one point, I literally heard her say to a student: ‘I don’t give a (censored) when you get your homework in!’ and at another point she accused me of trying to tell her how to do her job after requesting more time to do homework.

Yeah, half the time her insults and accusations weren’t even related to what was going on.

She seemed to especially target me, and one day we got into a major argument over a late homework. I was feeling rather guilty for some of the things I’d said in the heat of the moment and went to apologize to her during lunchtime.

She asked me what I was apologizing for and I said I wasn’t sure but I’d clearly annoyed her and was sorry for it, and she basically told me to bugger off and leave her alone.

During the next class, she wouldn’t leave me alone.

Every two seconds she was going, ‘Are you doing work or just daydreaming,’ ‘Turn to the same page in your books as the rest of the class,’ ‘Are you even listening?’

Eventually I get sick of it and finally call her on her crap: ‘Okay now you’re just being condescending.’

She goes into a fury, spends a full five minutes berating me and sends me out of the class, telling me to wait outside.

Half an hour later she comes out, asks me what I was thinking, and accuses me of being, and I quote, ‘out to get her.’ I try to defend myself and she says, ‘Okay, you can return to my class now, sit down in your chair and not say a WORD to me for the rest of the year.

Or, if you want to argue with me, you can gather your stuff, get out of my class and not come back.’

I told her I DID in fact want to argue with her, that she was being totally unfair, then went inside, left, and went straight to the head of school to tell him everything that had happened.

Long story short I was in the very next lesson with her and she didn’t do a thing against me for the rest of the year.

She did however move on to bullying another guy in the class who had the same name as me (I wonder if there’s a connection there).

I tried to defend him where I could though and eventually we both managed to be rid of her as we dropped chemistry next year.

4. “I brought an extra change of clothes hidden in my backpack…”

I had a teacher who would not let anyone go to the bathroom the entire year, so the last month of school, my friends and I got so fed up with it, I decided to take action.

I brought an extra change of clothes hidden in my backpack and drank three bottles of water at lunch.

During class that afternoon, I asked the teacher if I could use the restroom, and of course, she responded with the usual ‘no,’ so I said ‘ok’ and just urinated all over myself and the desk.

Since I had an extra change of clothes, it was only uncomfortable for a little bit.

The look on her face was worth it. Now she lets any and everyone go to the bathroom as needed. You’re welcome, America!

Basically, I wet myself during class at school to make a point to the teacher to let people go to the bathroom during class.

5. “At the end of it, everybody stood at the street in front of the school yelling…”

I once instigated a whole revolution in my (Catholic) school.

We had an horrible math teacher that nobody liked, and when he took vacations, they brought a substitute teacher that was really great, so we did a petition with signatures from students of all grades for the school to keep her as the official teacher.

I was the head of the movement, so I went to the principal with the ‘document’ to show our efforts. She laughed at me and told to get out of because students don’t have the right to demand such things.

I went back to class crying (7th grade) and my classmates became really angry that the principal had treated me like that so everybody got out of the class, started to call the other students in all classes to join then and they did.

At the end of it, everybody stood at the street in front of the school yelling that the principal was a jerk.

I was in serious trouble after that but totally worth it.

6. “GAME OVER! WE WIN! BIGGEST UPSET IN STATE HISTORY! Nope.”

My senior year, our boys basketball team is in the playoffs, playing the number one seed. They were much bigger, faster, and stronger than us. We didn’t have size, but we made up for it with good ball skills, shooting, and defense.

We tie the game with about eight seconds left. As they’re coming down the court with the ball, their point guard dribbles the ball off his foot. It’s about to roll out of bounds when our MVP grabs it and takes it in for the easy lay up just as time expires.

GAME OVER! WE WIN! BIGGEST UPSET IN STATE HISTORY! Nope.

The ref on the opposite base line says our guy kicked the ball and the opposing player in the process.

Their ball, double bonus, we’re effed. The thing is: our guy wasn’t even close and had started retreating to set up a perimeter defense in order to stop penetration and force a longer shot.

HE WASN’T EVEN CLOSE! Of course, everyone goes nuts and there is a meeting among the refs. The original call stands, everyone is booing their faces off, and our coach begins arguing the call with one ref while the kid buries his foul shots.

To top it all off, there was only .3 seconds put back on the clock. The ref says there will be no more extra time and as they are fixing the clock, the chanting starts…

I started this chant earlier in the year.

It goes like this: ‘OATS AND BEANS, AND BEANS AND OATS!’ I know, it makes no sense, but it was different and fun and I was in high school, what can I say?

So I start this chant.

LOUDLY. I’m literally screaming at the top of my lungs. Within about ten seconds, our entire bleachers section is wailing and the students all come as close to court side as possible with me, and start screaming, ‘OATS AND BEANS, AND BEANS AND OATS!’

It was so loud that no one could communicate on the court.

Imagine about four hundred people at the top of their lungs, in a high school gymnasium. Then, our bench players start in!

It was epic! The refs keep trying to wave us off and are blowing their whistles like wild, so they can confirm the clock is right and/or game is over.

The ref in question turns to the scoreboard guy and gives a ‘THAT’S IT!’ type of motion. We’re still going nuts with ‘oats and beans.’ The refs are trying to leave the court and our bench stands up to block the entrance to the locker room.

We storm the court, surround them, just screaming ‘oats and beans, beans and oats!’ as loud as we can. They push through us and into the locker room.

It didn’t stop there.

About a hundred students followed them into the locker room, ‘oats and beans-ing’ it all the way. We followed that jerk out to his car and never stopped.

He ‘retired’ after that season.

I was suspended for three days for inciting a riot after the guy threatened to press charges for ‘psychological abuse.’

The best part: the superintendent of the district comes to my house on the last day of my suspension.

My parents were angry, but I was a senior, good student, and already accepted into college, so I didn’t get it too bad. The superintendent goes on to sit us all down and tell us how lucky I was that there wouldn’t likely be legal repercussions and whatever.

I go to my room so he can talk to my parents alone, then my mom calls me back down to say goodbye. He shakes my mom’s hand, my dad’s hand, then mine and says, ‘Son, you’re going to change the world.’

At the end of the year, I was given a $2000 ‘spirit’ scholarship and the entire school chanted ‘OATS AND BEANS, AND BEANS AND OATS!’

when they announced my name at graduation. It was amazing and made everything worth it.

7. “I relished in the look of her disgust…”

I went to a K-8 Catholic school. Our school lunches were pitifully small, same portion for 1st graders, as for 8th graders.

The lunch ladies understood that the portions were small and would often let students get second servings, which they were otherwise going to throw out.

I went to get some extra salad. Rather than giving me an additional serving, they just gave me the remaining, heaping mound of cheap iceberg lettuce drenched in Italian dressing. It was seriously probably several pounds of salad.

I had no intention of eating the entirety of it, but a teacher caught me eating the leftovers and said I had ought to finish it otherwise it would be so wasteful.

At that point it became a competition to prove her wrong. I had to stay probably an extra 10 minutes to finish munching down the pile of salad. When I finished, the teacher called me a pig and gave me a detention anyway.

I relished in the look of her disgust and gleefully took the detention.

8. “I could feel the chair vibrate under me…”

I was in class in high school and a female student asked to go to the restroom. The teacher replied, ‘No, that’s what passing period is for,’ and didn’t let her go.

This ticked me off something terrible, because the student was a girl and might have had women issues, so I came up with a plan.

I held all of my farts for a whole day until the next class with this terrible teacher.

Being on the football team and on a high protein diet, it was very hard, but I did it. When I got to the class, I waited about 5 minutes and asked to go to the bathroom, I received the same snide remark, so I bent over as much as I could and let go the loudest, longest fart in my whole life.

I could feel the chair vibrate under me and the whole class burst into laughter.

I was immediately sent to the office which was great for me, because I’m sure it smelled like a dead whale that had been beached for a month.

I received five days of in-school suspension for farting in class, and had to do extra workouts for missing football practice. It was worth it.

9. “Our principal’s attempt at therapy didn’t work.”

To make a long story short, there was this girl who was a complete jerk, bully, and overall horrible to me. One day, after years of harassment, I took a permanent marker and drew all over her sweater, arms, and face.

This prompted a week’s worth of detention, but she didn’t get off scot-free though.

The faculty knew that this was a long time coming and gave her detention as well. This, however, meant that the two of us spent a week of our school year sitting in the office with the principal, talking about our issues.

I also had to pay for half the price of the sweater, which was pretty expensive, especially to a elementary-schooler.

Our principal’s attempt at therapy didn’t work.

We still openly hated each other, but the week of detention and the money was all worth it because she never harassed me again. Instead, it turned into a cold war.

She knew that if she ever poked me hard enough again that I wouldn’t be afraid retaliate with nuclear fury, like I had done before.

Needless to say, it stopped a lot of the other bullies from messing with me too. Being the runt of the class, the remainder of elementary school was rather relaxing.

10. “I started running as fast as I could straight at him…”

When I was in 4th grade, this annoying 3rd grader kept messing with me. He would run up behind me and try to knock me down all the time. Especially since he was just a 3rd grader that was trying to bully me, it ticked me off, and I decided to end it before it got out of control.

I saw him standing there doing nothing like an idiot one day at recess and remembered how much he had been bothering me.

I started running as fast as I could straight at him from across the play ground, and knocked him flat on his back. He got up and tackled me, and we rolled around on the ground wrestling for a little while before one of the recess monitors saw us.

I got in trouble and had to write, ‘I will not fight’ or something like that 25 times during one recess. He never bothered me again after that, though.”

11. “The class was silent for a few seconds…”

I had this witch of an English teacher in 9th grade who had a horrible temper and would always victimize boys for no reason. One day she gave some vague instructions and the class just looking at her puzzled.

She said, ‘Don’t look at me like I’m naked!’

The class was silent for a few seconds until I covered my mouth as if I was about to cough and spouted, ‘Gross!’

The class erupted with laughter and I got a week of detention. After the first day, an assistant principal found out about the situation and called off the rest of my detention.

12. “One day she picked on the fat kid sitting next to me…”

I got kicked out of class for making a substitute teacher cry.

For background, the teacher was horrible with the class. She told students they were dumb, talked down to them, and was all around just not good for a healthy educational environment.

For example, we once watched a movie on space exploration and and after part one, I talked to her about how we could just put bubble structures on a planet with an atmosphere.

Put plants in there, slowly expand and increase until they covered the whole planet. She laughed at me, told the class how this would never work and continued with lesson plans.

The next day, we watched part two of the film and it went over the idea of terraforming using structures where they gradually increase size of structures to alter the planet to make it inhabitable…

Sure, they also said it would take an extremely one time and be super costly so not a very viable option, but nevertheless I felt vindicated.

Anyway, one day she picked on the fat kid sitting next to me and I lost my cool.

I stood up from my desk and proceeded to berate her, telling her that she shouldn’t be allowed to shape the minds of children, that she was awful at her job and how I truly believe she should look into another occupation.

After some choice verbal jabs, I got sent to the office.

After I left, she burst into tears. I feel my outburst was justified.

13. “I found out two years later that the bully of a gym teacher was fired from his job…”

I was in 8th grade and our gym teacher picked one student per class to make his personal slave. I wasn’t having any of it, so everything he tried I was able to one up him.

The final straw was when we were throwing frisbees and he threw one at me. At the last second he said ‘Heads up!’ expecting me to get hit in the face.

I don’t know it happened but without looking I grabbed it, spun around and whipped it back at him fast enough and hard enough to give him a bloody nose when it cracked him square in the face.

He sent me to the principal’s office where she while laughing her butt off about it, but she had to give me a three-day suspension due to ‘attacking a teacher.’

I found out two years later that the bully of a gym teacher was fired from his job due to multiple students, from several years, coming forward and claiming physical and verbal abuse.

So it was totally worth it to get that bully out of teaching.”

14. “…Held up a brazen middle finger, and walked inside, ignoring his demands that I stop.”

In high school, my dad dropped me off out front after all the buses had left. The vice-principal was being a jerk for no reason and giving my dad trouble for ‘parking’ in a bus lane (when in fact he had not violated any rules).

It was clear the VP was trying to pick a fight. After a brief heated exchange, my dad drove off, and I heard the VP mutter ‘scumbag’ under his breath.

I stood in front of the building, waited for the VP to turn around and see me, held up a brazen middle finger, and walked inside, ignoring his demands that I stop.

I proceeded to dodge detention until I was pulled from class.

Basically, I flipped off vice principal in front of the school. Felt great.

15. “So I had taken my belt off as some sort of make-shift weapon…”

Some kid was stealing money out of the locker rooms every day after school while sports teams were practicing. I skipped cross-country practice one day and hid in the shower area in an attempt to catch them.

After waiting for over an hour, I finally heard someone enter.

I didn’t know what I would be up against, so I had taken my belt off as some sort of make-shift weapon (just made me feel safer). I hear the sound of velcro separating, and I knew I had finally caught him.

I ran out to the locker area, and he flung the wallet in his hands away and immediately pretended to be opening a lock on the locker. The culprit was this tiny 8th grader (our junior high was connected to our high school).

As he sat there fumbling with a lock, I just stood and waited.

Finally, when it was clear to him that he wasn’t fooling me, and that he didn’t know the combination of the locker he was trying to open, he looked up at me.

I started yelling at him, telling him how many people wanted to kick his behind. The wallet he was opening was one of my friends, who was in open gym nearby.

I told him to wait there unless he wanted trouble, and got my friend.

Ultimately, we started trying to extort the money he had stolen over the last few weeks with threats, because we were concerned that if we turned him in we wouldn’t see a dime.

Finally the kid turned himself in, because he didn’t have any of the money left, nor a way to make the money, and was legitimately concerned we were going to hurt him.

The discipline lady said something I’ll never forget, ‘you just can’t do that.

I’m glad you did, but you can’t take the law into your own hands. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to give you detention for this.’ She asked why I didn’t turn him in, so I answered her honestly.

She asked us to get a list together, and made his parents pay up. All-in-all, totally worth it!

Basically, I caught a kid stealing and extorted money from him rather than turning him in.

I wish I had a story as good as any of these, but I don’t. I was such a good kid back in the day.

What happened?! ?

The post 15 Students Share the One Detention That Was Totally Worth It appeared first on UberFacts.

Everyone is In Love With This Pupper’s Adorably Weird Sleeping Position

Is there anything cuter than a sleeping puppy? I think not. Every time I see my little fur baby curled up on the floor, I melt into a puddle.

Recently, one sleeping pup went viral for the cutest reason…

So, naturally, we have ALL the questions. Namely, what is going on with this adorable little fur ball?

Naturally, Twitter tracked down even more photos…

Because that’s just what Twitter do…

It seems the puppy is a she, her name is Paningning and there’s video!

And then the memes started…

Up, up and away!

And people had feels…

ALL the feels…

Somebody even made Paningning wallpapers, because why wouldn’t you?!

Eventually, the internet tracked Paningning back to owner Janessa Cua, who posted this pic of the pooped pup on March 30th.

And the pup during feeding time… still on her back… and still loving life.

Paningning is even attracting some sponsors!

Ultimately, it comes down to this fan drawing and this simple message.

Our life is complete now. We can all die happy.

The post Everyone is In Love With This Pupper’s Adorably Weird Sleeping Position appeared first on UberFacts.

12 People Who Got Savaged Hard by Their Own Families

Family is always there for us when things get bad, but when life is going relatively smoothly, they’re also the first people to crack a joke at your expense. It’s just how it goes.

Have your parents ever savagely embarrassed you and not even realized it? How about they did realize it, but they simply didn’t give a fuck because you might have been acting like a diva?

Yeah, they have!  ? ?

Writer Alanna Bennett’s mom did once and she just had to share the shame on Twitter…

Ouch.

And that memory has apparently never gone away.

Once Alanna shared, you know other people wanted to jump in on the fun.

Sometimes, siblings can make up for the savageness that parents can’t supply…

Or best friends!

Rita’s dad doesn’t know how to refer to breasts correctly…

And Leigh’s dad is kind of a dick…

Oh look! Another fun daddy/daughter exchange!

There’s Julia’s dad and his hush money…

Or Alan’s “gift”…

These parents are apparently SO proud!

This dad had a solution for his picky eater…

Oh hai cats!

What are some savage moments your friends and family destroyed you with?

Personally, I have none. Me and my family always get along great and we support each other in everything we do. Always.

And if you believe that…

The post 12 People Who Got Savaged Hard by Their Own Families appeared first on UberFacts.

13 People Who Definitely Have Worse Neighbors Than You

Have you ever had a neighbor who was a complete prick? These 13 people have and their stories will make your hair curl.

Get ready to meet some of the worst people to live by… ever!

1. “I woke up to find my car missing.”

“We had horrible neighbors at our previous residence. As first-time homeowners, my wife and I wanted to make a good impression on the neighborhood and decided after we had settled in that we would introduce ourselves to a few of the people in our new neighborhood.

Most were nice and struck up conversations, but the neighbors next door to us were god awful. When we knock at their door, a lady opened it and immediately told us that she was not interested in what we were selling and slammed the door on us.

We knocked again and let her know we were just introducing ourselves, and she yelled, ‘What’s so special about you?’ So we left.

Where we lived, everyone had a driveway that could fit one car and then public on-street parking was used for additional cars.

The unwritten rule of the neighborhood was not to park in front of some else’s house unless you had permission. Most of my neighbors would ask if they could park additional cars in front of our house for parties and things like that.

It was never an issue. Except for my next door neighbor. At the time, I worked the night shift, so when I got home, I wanted the parking space in front of my house (my wife used the driveway) so that I could get in quick and get to bed.

However, she would have her many ‘lovers’ park in my space, so I would have to park, sometimes, up to 3 blocks away. I confronted her one day about the unwritten rule, and she told me to ‘get bent’ and that ‘I don’t own the street.’

I figured I would use her logic against her one day, and I parked my car in front of her house. I woke up to find my car missing. After contacting the police, I found she had it towed because she stated she was getting her sidewalk repaired and it was in the way of the workers (she never actually was getting her sidewalk repaired).

I ended up just using my wife’s car most nights afterward so I didn’t lose my spot.

My neighbor combated this by parking in my backyard. When I called the cops on her to have her vehicles towed, she stated that my backyard was her property and that I had no right to move her vehicles.

Because I didn’t have any proof of the property line, the cop stated it was pretty much my word against hers and there was really nothing that he could do until we had property line proof.

Next day, I went to the town’s municipal building to get proof of the property line. It was out of date, so I could not use it, and I couldn’t afford the $3,000 fee that the surveyors wanted.

So she won that one too.

Among other things, she attempted to sue us because she warped her siding while grilling too close to her house. She tried to blame it on our windows reflecting sunlight and heat onto her siding.

She lost that one. She tried to sue us for a tree on her property that fell down during a storm and crushed a small storage shed she had. She lost. She blamed us for going through her mail.

Never happened.

Finally, we moved and had our house on the market. One day, I get a call from the police. The house was broken into. We lived 3 hours away, and not all of our stuff was moved out.

Police stated that another neighbor took pictures of the burglars and that they knew who it was and asked for me to come to the station to identify my property.

I took a day off and traveled back to the house to assess the damage and claim my belongings. The deadbolt on the door looked like someone tried to hammer it off and the window that they used to get in was shattered.

I went to the station and got my property. When the officer showed me the pictures of the robbers, it was my terrible neighbor’s son and his 4 friends.

All they stole was an Xbox 360, 10 games, and a bunch of my wife’s costume jewelry. I was so happy to put him and his friends away. Funny enough, my neighbor pleaded with me not to press charges, and she promised to pay for everything.

When I told her to ‘get bent,’ it was one of the best feelings I have ever had.”

2. “He retrieved my dog’s body…”

“When I was 10, my neighbor—an 80-something-year-old man—shot and killed one of my dogs.

When I went looking for my dog, I asked my neighbor if he had seen him.

He told me that he shot a dog like that this morning.

Frozen, I asked where he was so I could bury him. The old man told me that his body was in the dumpster and that he would shoot me too if I didn’t get off his land.

I ran through the woods back to my house, screaming out loud in anger and punching trees until my knuckles were torn and bloody.

When I got home, I called the police and the K9 unit came out to my neighbor’s house.

He retrieved my dog’s body, and I buried him.

The worst part was that my dog was very sweet. My neighbor had tied him up and broken all of his legs, then shot him point blank in the chest.

I have never felt more rage in my life. My mom took the man to court, and he was charged with animal cruelty. The judge asked how much money I thought the dog was worth.

I was dumbfounded and croaked out that I didn’t want money—I wanted my dog.

The neighbor was fined $500, and I made him pay it to the local humane society.

The man had the ten commandments posted all around his house, so the next night, I took a red sharpie and circled ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ on all of his signs.

My dog’s name was Hershey, he was a mutt that was born in my bedroom — he was only 2 years old and such a good boy.

3. “They literally go out in the dead of night, like ninjas…”

“I moved onto a dirt road with several houses on it. My friend has lived down the road his whole life. The people next to my house only come up for the summer and are never there in the winter.

When summer comes, however, there are multiple potholes on the road. Curious, I asked my friend. He said the neighbors come up in the summer and dig the holes themselves in order to ‘slow down’ traffic.

They literally go out in the dead of night, like ninjas, and use shovels to dig a few good holes. There’s never any holes elsewhere except right in front of their house, which also happens to be right in front of my house.

And it’s a terrible, awful road in its own right already.

The thing is their driveway is all rocks. So I just took their rocks and used them to fill in the holes when they were away.

Though I volunteered over the winter to foster rescue dogs. Guess who’s lawn was used as the potty?

That’s a good boy! laughs maniacally.”

4. “Completely baseless and out of the blue.”

“Lived next door to ‘Bob’ for 10 years with no issues. He’s a retired prison guard, cop, military, about 70 or so. I was 25. We share views on many of life’s situations; political, legal, etc.

We always got along swimmingly.

We share tools, chat now and then, but we’re not really ‘buds.’ He spends 6.8 days a week at his girlfriend’s house, so we never really see each other more than 2 hours a year seems like.

At the 10 year mark, a policeman walks into my backyard where I’m raking leaves. He’s there about the complaint from Bob. Huh?

We go to speak with Bob, and when I ask him what’s going on, he interrupts, yelling about my kids on his lawn, me riding motorcycles on his lawn, and more.

He’s livid, spit flying, and he looks like he’ll have a stroke. I just looked at the cop and shrugged. We’ve all heard or read stories of neighbor spats escalating into retribution or violence, but all of his accusations are false.

Completely baseless and out of the blue.

Cop says he has to give me a criminal trespass warning, so if I ever step foot on his property again, I can be arrested.

I told him that’s like telling me I can’t sleep with his sister anymore. Never happened, never will. I spoke with him privately, and the best we can come up with is some mental illness, or he’s off his medication.

It really was the strangest thing.

What annoyed me the most was two days later, as I’m driving away, he’s on his lawnmower, and waves and smiles at me like nothing ever happened.

We’ve never determined if that was genuinely because he’s crazy, or if he was taunting me.

That was nearly 15 years ago, and I have never spoken to him since.

I keep my family away, and we leave if we ever see him. Oh, and he’s moved back home this year from his girlfriend’s place, so he’s baaack!”

5. “…him banging on our door and screaming threats at my mom.”

“I grew up in a rural area on a fairly big property. It had been a large farm that got parceled out as the owner aged. So there were 4 3/4 acre lots and my parent’s 10 acres behind them. The house was relatively far away from our neighbors.

One neighbor was an absolute piece of crap. When I was 8, I remember seeing the cop lights at his door.

Found out when I was a little older that he had tried to murder his father over his oxy prescription (father owned the house, 30-year-old kid lived there rent free). He did a few years in jail, then moved back in with his father who he had tried to kill. He grew pot on our land, then threatened to kill my mother when my father and I tore it down (but didn’t call the cops).

Frequently threatened to assault/kill my mother. I can remember multiple times when I was younger, him banging on our door and screaming threats at my mom. Other times I can remember thinking about the weapon in my father’s office, in case our neighbor actually got inside the house. This occurred 8-10 times a year from ages 8-14.

He has calmed down a little after a second arrest and some anger management classes.

Nowadays, he just has massive bonfires with tons of loud music and leaves empties on our property, which is still an inconsiderate move, but better than physical intimidation and death threats.”

6. “…we see the wife with a camera, taking photos of us!”

“We had a party for all the neighbors when we moved in. I like to barbecue, and my wife is vegetarian, so we have two separate barbecues. We invited everyone on the street.

One neighbor declines ‘because we’re vegetarian.’

‘Not to worry,’ I said. ‘So’s my wife. We have two barbecues going, one for meat and one for veggies.’

I could see them searching for another reason. They look at the invite.

‘Oh, the 6th? We’re out of town then. Sorry.’

That’s cool. They don’t want to come for whatever reason. They’re not just going to say that.

We’re British, after all.

The day of the party comes. Our garden is quite big, so everyone can fit in happily. We’ve got the barbecues going on the opposite side of the garden to the aforementioned neighbors’ house. It’s only about 4 hours into the party at around 5 pm that we notice the upstairs windows in their house are open.

‘Weird, I thought they were out of town?’

As I’m looking at the windows with some of the other neighbors, we see the wife with a camera, taking photos of us!

We go round and ring the bell to explain this is the party they were invited to, and they’re still welcome to join.

No answer. Curtains twitching upstairs. So we go back to the party and just ignore them.

Later into the evening, the parents and kids have gone home, just a mix of older and younger neighbours left, and I’m now making mixed drinks at the outside bar (honestly, this house was amazing. I have no idea how it was in our budget, but anyway…) and then the police walk in through the (open) back gate.

‘Someone’ has lodged a complaint. It’s only about 9 pm (noise complaints in the UK are typically not followed up until it goes past 11 pm) but apparently not only are we having the biggest party known to man, but we’re ‘setting things on fire’ and ‘forcing adult beverages onto children.’

Of course, the Police can see we’re having a fairly civilized adult get-together, and congratulate us on moving to the area, and for getting to know our neighbours in such a friendly way.

Monday, we’re off to unpack. Knock on the door. The Police now have photographs of the alleged ‘forcing adult beverages onto children’ and ‘setting fire to things.’

It’s one of the neighborhood kids bringing two brews from the fridge to me and his dad at the barbecue. They’re not even open.

The ‘setting fire to things?’ Yeah. Using a blowtorch to light my barbecue. Apparently, that’s endangering their property, which is a good 100 yards away from the contained fire within my oil drum barbecue.

The police can see this is a non-issue. They just need me to make a statement explaining. So I do.

For the whole two years that we lived there, they avoided us. So weird, so unnecessary.”

7. “…I sat with her for the next couple of hours expecting a visit from the police…”

“My sister was only 20 when she got this flat, and some old guy (in his 50s) across the way would shout things like ‘Suck my balls’ or ‘I’d do you, come here’ to her whenever she left her flat and he was outside.

My sister had called the police and landlord and told them about his harassment, and basically, they said it was his word against hers and since nothing had happened, they couldn’t really do anything.

The landlord even said he had lived there for years and never had complaints about him before.

My sister got scared to leave her place and often asked friends to walk her home from work, but of course, the tricky little prick would never say anything when someone else was there.

My mother had visited her one day and had shouted at him to leave her alone, but he had given her a puzzled look and just shook his head as if he didn’t know what was going on.

So I’m visiting her one day, and she’s putting out the bins when he comes out and starts shouting; he’s standing on his doorstep grabbing his balls through his pants saying, ‘Come here I have a present for you, little girl.’

He obviously didn’t see me arrive with her or thought I’d gone, I’m unsure.

Well, I’m standing in her hallway just out of sight when I hear this, so I bolt out the door, and before you know it, I’ve got the old pervert by the short and curlies.

I put one hand on his throat and pin him against the doorframe squeezing his neck hard—and take into account, this guy is some 5-foot, Danny Devito looking guy if Devito had been on crack and lost 100 pounds, and I’m 6’2″ and 19 stone.

The red mist descends and I’m really resisting the urge to knock him out, so I lean over and whisper in his ear:

‘Next time I hear you shout at my sister, I’m going to kick this door down and give you a beating you won’t forget, understand?’

He nods, and I literally throw him back into his flat and just leave him there crumpled in the doorway.

My sister looks at me shocked, and I sat with her for the next couple of hours expecting a visit from the police, but they never arrived.

After that my sister said she rarely even saw him again, and when she did, he would scurry into his flat. She only stayed there another 12 months before moving on to another place nearer home, but I always remember that rat and for years expected to see his name in our local press for some reason, but never did.”

8. “He drank a bottle of Chianti in about 30 minutes…”

“Ah, Jerry.

When I moved in, he seemed eccentric, but harmless. Apparently, my landlord had a conversation with him and told him to leave me alone. This upset Jerry greatly.

He cornered me one day while I was unlocking my door and asked me to come to sit with him in his apartment. I don’t think the place had ever been cleaned and he had hoarder mentalities.

He drank a bottle of Chianti in about 30 minutes, commenting on all the sad things in his life. Luckily, he passed out so I could leave.

A couple weeks later, he got into a 3 a.m. fight with his boyfriend, which resulted in his boyfriend trying to get into my apartment for safety and eventually breaking into an empty unit down the hall.

Cops were called and Jerry was taken to jail.

About a week after that, same boyfriend was over and a fight ensued. This time it ended in very loud make-up bang sesh.

Jerry would flush things you’re not supposed to flush down the toilet and would back up sewage into mine and my neighbor’s bathtubs and bathroom sinks.

Eventually, he clogged his toilet so badly that he just ripped it from the wall and left it there.

The cops came twice to my door to ask if I had seen Jerry lately and asked to search my apartment to make sure I wasn’t hiding him.

One day, while I was getting ready for work, he came into my apartment with another guy and tried to measure my walls for the ‘renovation’ he was going to do to combine his and my apartments into one unit.

But, don’t worry, I could just live with him when it was all finished.

Eventually, Jerry got evicted, but would still convince people to let him into the building.

For months his mugshot was posted on all entrances saying to not let him in.”

9. “Either my neighbor was high…”

“I just moved into my new apartment in Chicago and was woken up at 3 am to some loud knocking on my door. Given that it’s Chicago, I thought the worst and assumed someone with a loaded weapon was on the other side of that door.

A moment passes and I sit silently in my bed running through self-defense scenarios in my head. I then hear a woman yell something through my door that had me on tilt…

This lady says, ‘This is your neighbor, I was just wondering if you’d like to buy some girl scout cookies.’ Naturally, I ignored her offer and proceeded to go back to sleep angry and confused.

Either my neighbor was high or trying to rob me.”

10. “I really, really like this song.”

“My neighbor (above me) was trying to force me to move out, so she put her speakers on her floor pointing straight down and blared them at full volume.

The instant it started, I leapt up in outrage at her audacity, but after a few seconds, I realized… I really, really like this song. So I give it one song, and as it’s winding down, I prepare my outrage once again, only to be surprised when the next song is also a perennial favorite.

I didn’t even bother getting upset before realizing that I liked the third song, too. She stopped at midnight when she was legally required to. Apparently, she realized she wasn’t getting much ‘bang’ for her buck as far as irritating me/effort on her part, so she didn’t try it anymore.”

11. “Revenge came when lightning struck a tree in the woods…”

“He had 2 access roads to his property (he didn’t live there, he just had livestock there) and insisted on using the one that cut through our property, despite the fact that it was the longer route and it was a literal unpaved road through the woods.

He didn’t have an easement or anything, just assumed that since he had to drive through our property to get to that crappy lane road, he was allowed to do so.

He was a total prick to us for no reason, never said hi, got upset if we were too close to his property despite the fact that he literally drove through our property every day.

Revenge came when lightning struck a tree in the woods and it fell right across the access to the lane road…

on OUR property. He hired a service to chop the tree up and told them they could have the wood as part of the payment (it was nice walnut). My dad wasn’t having any of that.

He walked down there with a copy of the sale documents, pointed out the marker that clearly separated our land from our butthole neighbor’s land, got the neighbor to admit that the tree in question was both from our land and currently laying on our land, not his, and then my dad sent the crew packing and told them if they took so much as a branch from that tree, it was theft and he (a lawyer) would see them in court for it.

It’s been over 15 years and that tree is still laying across the access to the lane road. He can still access his property via the other road, so he didn’t have a leg to stand on to force an easement.

Forget you, Jim.”

12. “…yell to my husband about what a horrible woman I was.”

“He used to stand on the footpath wasted every afternoon and yell to my husband about what a horrible woman I was. Once my husband told him to go home and he shaped up to try and punch my husband, who was around 50 years younger than the neighbour.

My infraction?

He rang one day to be nosy check why my husband’s car was home on a workday. I politely thanked him for his call and let him know my husband was sleeping and had a cold, nothing to worry about.

Apparently, I was meant to praise him profusely for being such a caring neighbour, and my husband was meant to follow up with a call once he was awake and also lavish him with praise for caring.

Because we didn’t, we got to hear about it loudly every afternoon until we moved several months later.”

13. “He followed me to my house when I was walking home…”

“The guy who lives three houses down from me is the grand wizard of the HOA and is a massive jerk, so he’s always fining people for the dumbest stuff.

He has quite the long list of offenses.

1: He fined my parents $100 for having one tire of a car parked on our lawn. The HOA rules are no tires can be touching the grass at any time.

He then goes about parking his van dead in the middle of his lawn for sometimes days on end while he does various garage renovations.

2: HOA states you can only have a basketball hoop if it’s cemented into the ground.

We had a water base basketball hoop so he threatened to fine us if we didn’t get rid of it or cement it in. My parents said forget this and donated it to someone.

He then put the same exact type of hoop in his front yard so his nieces and nephews could play with it.

3: We lost some roof tiles when hurricane Wilma hit, and he threatened to fine my parents $50 for not replacing the tiles 2 days after the storm had cleared up.

90% of the city was still without power or phone service. It was literally impossible to get them put back on that quickly.

4: He followed me to my house when I was walking home then stood about 20 feet from my front door with his arms crossed as I was walking inside.

I asked him if I could help him and he asked if I was driving on the main road outside our neighborhood a few minutes prior. I told him, ‘yes,’ and he started complaining about how my car was loud and he could hear me driving on the public roads that are in no way, shape, or form associated with our neighborhood.

I asked if he had any proof that the loud car was mine and not another loud car. He said no; he was just somehow positive it was me. I just walked inside without saying a word.

5: This one is absurd.

My neighborhood is split into two halves: One with the HOA (my half) and the other without an HOA. There are no gates or walls or signs or anything separating the two halves.

It’s weird and I’m still not entirely sure why it’s laid out like this. A buddy of mine who lives in the non-HOA plagued half has a really loud blowoff valve on his car.

Obviously, it makes it’s loud sounds whenever he drives down my street towards his house. Buddy boy comes over one day while I’m mowing the lawn and tells me that if my friend down the street doesn’t do something to make his car stop hissing (that’s how he described the blow-off valve) then there would be repercussions.

I asked how that was any of my business, and he said since I knew him, I could make him stop.

At that point, I had already been hating this guy and his crap for years, so I wasn’t in any mood to pander to him.

I told him that if he had a problem with my friend’s car, which I had zero ownership or part of, then he could go talk to him himself. We got into an argument, and after a few minutes of arguing, I said ‘Whatever dude,’ put my earphones back in and kept mowing my lawn.

He kept saying I would pay for this and that I didn’t know who I was disrespecting. Nothing ever came of it and nobody got fined or anything like that.

I still hate that guy though.”

The one that really gets me? The neighbors getting invited to the party by the new folks on the block, turning them down with an obviously fake excuse… and then taking pictures to try and get them in trouble?

Who does that?! What is wrong with people?!?

Grrrr….

The post 13 People Who Definitely Have Worse Neighbors Than You appeared first on UberFacts.

Woman Threatens Breastfeeding Moms on Facebook is Immediately Roasted by EVERYONE

Oh, Carly, Carly, Carly.

Why’d you have to go and do something so stupid?

Photo Credit: Fatherly

Did she post a threat of physical violence against any woman she saw breastfeeding in public?

“I’m not sorry – the next female that tries to whip her boob out to breastfeed in front of my kids will get a black eye, move that baby [because] I’ll punch it too #zerocare #why #inpublicletsjustshowkidsboobs #notmine.”

Yep, Carly did that.

And it turns out that women who breastfeed (or women in general) don’t like to be threatened online or anywhere else for feeding their children. Crazy, right?!

Yeah, this went viral very, very quickly.

Photo Credit: Carol Freeman/Facebook

Because moms have to stick up for themselves.

Carly’s response?

She was defiant, and followed up on her Facebook post with this comment which, honestly, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Photo Credit: Kim Riendeau/Facebook

What Carly doesn’t seem to realize is that women aren’t just pulling their boobs out just to pull their boobs out. We’re in the late 2010s. Things have changed Carly. They’ve changed!!!

This was hinted at earlier in the article, but people could see her profile and found out where she worked…

Photo Credit: Cafe Mom

And yeah, you know what’s coming next…

Photo Credit: Cafe Mom

Here’s the thing folks, if you want to post something like this on Facebook, you should probably select a very, very small group of people to share it with. Rant all you want, but rant to close friends. Don’t make things like this public, or else you are bound to suffer the consequences.

Or here’s a crazy thought… don’t put something this toxic online in the first place. Right it down on a piece of paper and throw it the garbage where it belongs.

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“Jean Panties” Are an Actual Thing That Nobody Asked For

Everyone:

Jean Industry: CHECK OUT THESE JEAN PANTIES, Y’ALL!

Everyone: …

Seriously, this is not an exaggeration. It’s pretty much exactly how it played out when fashion brand Sense came out with these truly baffling Jean Panties, which I’m calling Janties.

They look like a denim diaper, except that they are intended for adult women to wear.

Photo Credit: Ssense

Is it underwear? Is it shorts? IT’S BOTH, says the company. Janties can be worn either under or over your pants. They also cost $315, so…yeah. Here we are.

People on social media are very confused and upset about the denim panties situation. They must be so uncomfortable! The chafing! ? ? ?

Seriously, these things can’t possibly be good for your vajeana (haha get it?).

And also, when and where would you wear janties?!?! I can’t think of a single appropriate time.

Although at least one person is kinda into it.

And others have pointed out that CERTAIN celebrities will probably actually wear these, ahem.

For better or worse, this is the world that we live in now. A world where janties exist, somewhere in a warehouse, waiting to be shipped to Kendall Jenner.

At least jean panties make for a lot of good puns.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!

The janties are SOLD OUT.

What. Is. This. Life.

The post “Jean Panties” Are an Actual Thing That Nobody Asked For appeared first on UberFacts.

11 Hilarious Examples of Twitter’s “What’s Your Name” Meme

Twitter is my favorite place to go for memes, and the latest one is too funny – it’s called “What’s Your Name?”

It’s pretty self-explanatory really. Just talk about the most common joke/response to your name. Here are 11 of the best:

1. Oh, come on!

2. Well, that was easy enough.

3. Seriously? Frank?

4. … Sure.

5. Not quite, but ok.

6. Like the distance.

7. Mortifying.

8. Say it.

9. Not the soup.

10. LOL!

11. WE HAVE A WINNER

What’s your name?

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12 Seriously Weird and Awesome Shower Thoughts

I gotta be honest with you: I LOVE reading shower thoughts. In case you’re unfamiliar, those are the totally random but also slightly mind-blowing thoughts that you have when you’re in a relaxed state, like when you’re in the shower (or really, really stoned).

Here are 12 of my faves!

1. The robot uprising is real.

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

2. And too aware of EVERYTHING

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

3. Absolutely true

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

4. Mind seriously blown

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

5. Perfect observation

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

6. It probably was a man’s idea. Bravo.

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

7. Magical powers can do wonders for child behavior. Just sayin’

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

8. The irony

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

9. “Downton Webby”

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

10. If this is true, why are their humans living in Antartica??

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

11. Crazy thought!

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

12. Not sure I’d want to know

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

What shower thoughts have you had lately?

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13 Things McDonald’s Employees Really Need You to Know About

McDonald’s employees serve hundreds, sometimes thousands of people a day, but most of those customers probably never think twice about the hard work that goes into that job. Seriously, you may look down on it, but there’s no doubt that slaving over vats of boiling oil and dealing with customers all day is not easy.

So today, we’re serving up a little something different: the “inner thoughts” of a McDonald’s worker.

1. I know it’s a tough decision…

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

2. I understand you may be wrangling kids or filling your drink at the soda fountain, but listen up!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

3. The ice cream machine is actually broken

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

4. Come again?

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

5. BBQ sauce with a straw?

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

6. This isn’t BK

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

7. Just because they are paid to work there, doesn’t mean they are paid to clean up after your mess.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

8. They work crazy hours!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

9. The problem with chip readers

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

10. Seriously, what do you want?

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

11. It’s cheaper to order the hamburger

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

12. How can they NOT know? Sheesh.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

13. Light bulb moment

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

To all the McDonalds and fast food employees. Bless your heart in dealing with us.

The post 13 Things McDonald’s Employees Really Need You to Know About appeared first on UberFacts.

PETA Just Posted a Bizarre Image That Left the Internet Horrified

Between all the squabbling that’s tearing our nation apart these days, there’s still one surefire way to bring people across all aisles of the spectrum together: PETA crossing the damn line with their weirdness.

The organization’s name stands for “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals,” which seems like a noble enough goal… until you see some of the outrageous stunts they pull (like suing a wildlife photographer on behalf of the monkey he photographed). They’re more of a radical anti-human group than they are a pro-animal rights group.

While they have occasionally done some good, they’ve wasted millions of dollars in truly bizarre, totally useless bids for publicity. The latest case in point?

This horror that I can’t unsee.

Yeah, it’s exactly what it looks like. A weird, anthropomorphized cow letting some creepy old man suckle from it.

The caption reads:

Looks weird right? It’s what you’re doing if you drink cow’s milk. Raiseyour hand if you know that humans shouldn’t be drinking cow’s breast milk. It was made for their babies—not you!

It didn’t take long before nearly all of Twitter united to make fun of it…

Photo Credit: Twitter

Some people definitely liked the image more than I did.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

Others wondered if the images were part of some kind of secret furry agenda PETA has.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

For those of you who don’t know, a “furry” is someone who’s “an enthusiast for animal characters with human characteristics, in particular a person who dresses up in costume as such a character or uses one as an avatar online.” Thanks, Dictionary.com!

While being a furry isn’t inherently sexual, it definitely can have that component to it (and is probably most famous for that reason).

Some people were even… stirred… pretty deeply by the image.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

The longer you look at it, the more weirdness you start to notice.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

Seriously PETA, WTF?

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