Author: Abbey

When you land a new job offer and your current gig comes back to you with more money or a better title, what do you do? How much time do you have? And how do you leverage the offers into the best scenario possible—without leaving flaming bridges in your wake?

First, do a gut check. “What’s driving you to explore other options?” asks Jenny Blake, a career coach and author of Pivot: The Only Move That Matters is Your Next One. “If your current company did offer you more money or a better title, would you be excited to stay or still ready to leave?”

Many people don’t look elsewhere simply for a better salary; they’re often feeling stymied or unfulfilled. In these situations, even a double-digit percentage raise at your current job isn’t going to solve the underlying problem. So you need to be clear on your values and what you want out of the next phase of your career.

James Caan, a London-based private equity professional and founder of a training program for recruiters, points out that if the only time your employer offers you a better deal is when you try to resign, it’s likely a sign you’re better off elsewhere. “My 30 years’ experience has taught me that most people who decide to accept the counteroffer and stay end up leaving six months later,” he says.

Not all recruiters believe that counteroffers signify trouble. Dave Fecak, a well-known Silicon Valley tech recruiter, has written about the fact that people in his industry try to scare employees away from staying with their current company because doing so would cause the recruiters to lose out on a hefty finder’s fee. Counteroffers vary widely and can provide an excellent chance to boost your salary.

As with all tough decisions, no one else can tell you the best choice. Ask yourself if the counteroffer will solve the issues you have with your employer, and whether the fact that you had to resign in order to achieve the new offer will affect your ability to successfully do your job in the future.

If your gut tells you to stay, you can leverage the other offer without burning bridges. The key is to be honest and direct in order to avoid seeming like you’re playing one offer against the other. “Have conversations with both companies about what your decision criteria are, and what adjustments would move the needle for you to stay (or go),” Blake says. “Aim for solutions that feel like a win for all involved.”

In your negotiations, don’t stress about taking too much time to think or worry about how many times you go back and forth. If you’re forthright about your ideal offer package and the lowest you’ll accept from the get-go, it should speed the process considerably. Then ask the decision-makers at both companies when they need a decision. If the period is too short, politely note your ideal timeframe and ask if you can respond at a later date. “It’s okay to take your time and not feel rushed, as long as you communicate clearly,” Blake says. If the other company doesn’t have the time to wait, go back to your gut-level reaction. What’s the right answer right in this moment, with the information you currently have?

Remain clear and authentic throughout the negotiations—and politely expect the same in return. That means you need to treat the counteroffer as a formal process, even if you’ve worked at your company for years. Lastly, make sure to get the new salary or job responsibilities in writing, along with the date at which they’ll take effect.

Your morning routine is like setting up a string of dominoes: You line everything up for success, but one false move can cause it all to come tumbling down. In order to set the right tone for the rest of your day, experts say you should adjust the following seven habits.

1. HITTING THE SNOOZE BUTTON

It’s tempting to steal a few more minutes of sleep, but hitting snooze has a negative impact on your physical and emotional well-being, says Joanna Kleinman, owner of The Center for Extraordinary Relationships. “Physically, hitting the snooze button actually sets you up to be groggy and less productive because you are repeatedly waking yourself out of a deep sleep,” Kleinman says. “Emotionally, you set yourself up to be late, rushed, and stressed in the morning.”

The obvious solution, Kleinman says, is getting out of bed right away (even if it seems impossible). “If we listen to our minds telling us what we feel like doing, we will never be able to make the positive changes we need to,” Kleinman says.

2. CHECKING YOUR PHONE

Doing this first thing in the morning stimulates self-criticism and judgments in your mind, Kleinman says. “Your emails and texts are all about things to do, things to buy, things to add to your to-do list,” she says. “This amounts to either the stuff that other people want you to be paying attention to, or what your mind says you should be paying attention to.”

Even if you leave your inbox alone and stick to Instagram, you can do harm to your psyche because social media causes you to compare yourself to other people. Bottom line: Checking your phone first thing can awaken your inner critic. To stop yourself from opening Twitter immediately after turning off your alarm, charge your phone in another room. Begin your day instead with a self-affirming habit like journaling or meditation.

3. PLANNING YOUR DAY

If you wake up and have no idea what’s on your schedule, where you have to be, or what you’re going to wear, then your day is already off to a frantic start. Psychologist and Certified Master Coach Joel Ingersoll recommends organizing your day the night before. This way, you’ll feel refreshed and ready to go in the morning.

4. DRINKING WATER…

You may be craving a cup of coffee as soon as your feet hit the floor, but what your body really needs is a glass of water, Ingersoll says. Since you haven’t had any liquids in your system for at least six (or hopefully eight) hours, your body is dehydrated. You can have the coffee (see below), but your body will function better—you’ll have fewer headaches, less fatigue, and smaller bags under your eyes—if you down a glass of water first, Ingersoll says.

5. …AND COFFEE

Don’t feel guilty about reaching for the coffee pot after you’ve had your water—it is actually good for your body, too, says Ilyse Schapiro, a Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian/Nutritionist. “Coffee is a great source of antioxidants, and it can increase energy as well as help to stabilize our moods,” Schapiro says. “It can also help keep our brains healthier and our minds sharper.”

Too much coffee isn’t going to do you any favors, though. Stick with one or two cups a day, and be consistent with how much you drink, or else you’ll start getting headaches and withdrawal symptoms.

6. SKIPPING BREAKFAST

Have you been told to eat a good breakfast before? That’s because it’s important, says Bruno LoGreco, life coach and author of Stop Sabotaging Your Life. “Eating a healthy breakfast consisting of nuts, fruits, and oats will satisfy your brain to get you through a tough day at the office,” LoGreco says. It’s best to skip the doughnuts and croissants, though, as these will give you a sugar high and set you up for a crash just as you reach your desk.

7. RISING EARLY

A study published by the American Psychological Association found that early risers are happier and more successful than those who go to bed late. They tend to be more proactive, get better grades, and better anticipate and minimize problems.

The old aphorism goes: Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination, we all know, is our enemy. It keeps us late at work and up late at night. It causes us stress and reduces the quality of our work—except, says Wharton School of Business professor Adam Grant, when it doesn’t.

In the video above, created for Business Insider, Grant explains how procrastination can sometimes work for us. “I think the idea of delaying is something we all need to be comfortable with,” says Grant, “because you can’t rush creativity.” Using perpetual procrastinator Steve Jobs as an example, Grant explains how “strategic procrastination” can lead to new, better ideas.

Banner image courtesy of iStock.

If you want to plan a trip, you typically start at the same place you do for all other research: Google. But while the search engine was a good jumping-off point, travelers would usually quickly turn to tools like Hopper’s airfare predictions or Kayak’s Explore filters to take advantage of the deal-hunting features Google lacked. However, Google recently updated their flight and hotel search tools to make them even more robust. Here are four improvements to take advantage of.

1. THE GOOGLE TRIPS APP

In September, Google released Google Trips, a full service travel app that helps you plan and manage upcoming journeys. Once you download the app and connect it to your Gmail account, it scans your email for all relevant travel information—from your flight information to your hotel confirmation to your car reservation—to consolidate and store it in one place. You can also download this info so you can access it offline, which is useful if you’re en route and Wi-Fi is spotty or nonexistent.

You can also use it to create your own personal itinerary based on those recommendations you got from friends and pages you bookmarked in your travel guides. (Or, if you’re in a time crunch, you can choose from one of the itineraries Google Trips proposes for you.) It also gives you relevant and important logistical information about your destination, like public transportation and tipping etiquette.

2. BETTER FLIGHT PRICE TRACKING

Price tracking is nothing new in Google Flights—if you want to monitor prices, just toggle the “track prices” button when you search for a specific flight. You can also elect to get email alerts when prices increase or decrease. Even better, though, Google will now tell you if the prices for that flight are likely to increase. If they are, a pop-up window will tell you how much more you can expect to pay if you book later.

Google Flights has also enhanced its “date tip” feature (which tells you how much you can save if you fly from a different airport or on a different day). Now, Google will also tell you if the specific route you’re researching has experienced any price jumps historically.

3. MORE FILTERS WHEN EXPLORING DESTINATIONS

Google’s Explore feature (which you access from the flight search page by clicking the sandwich menu next to “Flights” in the window’s upper left corner) is also more robust now. Previously, you’ve been able to use its interactive map to explore prices to destinations around the world based on when you want to travel, which is useful if you’re looking for an inexpensive getaway during a set period (like Spring Break). With its recent updates, you can now also filter and sort flights by number of stops, price, and airline. Its “Interests” filter lets you look for specific types of destinations: beaches, honeymoon spots, wildlife, and more.

4. INSIGHT ON HOTEL DISCOUNTS

Google’s hotel search has received an upgrade, too. When you search for hotels in a specific city, Google will now tell you what prices have looked like historically, depending on the hotel and your travel dates. This way, you can see if the current rate is standard or if it’s likely to drop in the near future.

Like the “tips” feature in Google flights, the hotel search will also show you how much you can save if you book on a different day. Google also highlights (with a lightbulb icon) whether the hotel you’re considering is running any special deals or is top-rated in the area.

Your sister-in-law gave you a pair of beautiful statement earrings for your birthday—but you only wear studs. Your mom gifts you a gorgeous vase every Christmas, and you literally cannot fit another one in your cabinet. These trinkets are just dying to be regifted so they can be put to good use, right? Right?

Absolutely, says lifestyle and etiquette expert Elaine Swann. “Regifting is perfectly acceptable if done correctly,” she says. With gift-giving season upon us, here are her cardinal rules for recycling a present without looking like a cheap jerk. 

1. IT MUST BE NEW.

The item should be less than a year old and in its original packaging, says Swann.

2. IT MUST HAVE VALUE.

No, you may not regift that canvas tote bag from the Radiological Society of North America’s annual meeting. If you or the initial gift-giver didn’t pay for it, you can’t give it to someone else. The only exception is if a piece of swag is high-quality and has meaning for the receiver. Swann once received an “Oprah”-engraved keychain when she attended a show taping; she gave it to her mom, a huge fan. “Although it was free, it was not your run-of-the-mill keychain,” she says.

3. IT MUST BE REWRAPPED.

This is perhaps where people fail most frequently. Frantically regifting at the last-minute because you forgot to buy something is a recipe for disaster. Take fifteen minutes to ensure all old wrapping and name tags are removed, and splurge on a pretty bow or cute gift bag.

4. IT MUST MOVE TO A NEW SOCIAL CIRCLE.

Swann remembers a friend who didn’t like a wedding present from her aunt, so she regifted it—to another aunt, the original giver’s sister. Oops. To avoid overlap, consider Swann’s method. She keeps a bin in her closet for gifts that can be reused, along with a notebook in which she records the date she received an item, and from whom.

5. YOU MUST NOT LIE.

If you are caught, just tell the truth. You can put a positive spin on it (“I really appreciate the sweater you gave me, but my best friend looks much better in coral”), but you cannot pretend it didn’t happen. “They might be a little sore, but lying about it will always make it worse,” Swann says. Own up to it and move on.

Americans are hard workers. According to Gallup, adults employed full-time report working an average of 47 hours a week—essentially a six-day workweek—and nearly four out of 10 people log more than 50 hours each week on the job. It’s no wonder we don’t have much time left to play. We grilled mental health experts and career coaches to figure out how to find an appropriate work-life balance, even when our jobs are more demanding than ever.

1. SET REALISTIC GOALS.

Instead of blindly believing that you can do it all, decide what your priorities are and set goals that will keep you focused, Jaime Kulaga, licensed mental health counselor and author of The SuperWoman’s Guide to Super Fulfillment tells mental_floss. “Use the acronym SMART when setting goals for yourself: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound,” she says.

Many times, people set goals that are out of reach, either because they’re comparing themselves to someone else or they’re thinking too many steps ahead. “It’s okay to dream big, but be sure that each goal you set toward your dreams is something that is realistic and attainable for that moment in your life,” Kulaga says.

2. IDENTIFY YOUR PRIORITIES.

Take time to list all of your life roles and circle the top five. “Those top five need time and attention, and if you don’t focus on these roles, you will feel the lack of balance in your life,” Kulaga says.

While you may not have a lot of time to spend on each of these roles (be it spouse, parent, or professional), think quality versus quantity. “Your children would rather have 30 minutes of your time where you’d talk to them and play with them than four hours when you’d do everything on your to-do list and don’t acknowledge that they’re there,” Kulaga says.

3. STOP LIVING BY YOUR TO-DO LIST.

You won’t get it all done, says Mary LoVerde, a work-life balance strategist, but that doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. “There’s too much to do and not enough time to do it, so give yourself permission to not get it all done,” she says.

4. STOP MULTITASKING.

Researchers at Stanford University found that multitasking is actually less productive than doing one thing at a time. And those who regularly try to multitask, or who take in several streams of electronic information at once, have a harder time recalling information, paying attention, and switching from one job to another.

While you might think that doing more things at once will help you get everything done faster (and therefore give you more “down time”), it’s actually making you more frantic. So slow down and focus on one task at a time—you’ll not only feel less stressed, but you’ll get more done.

5. MAKE YOUR ACTIVITIES DO DOUBLE DUTY.

While you shouldn’t multitask, you can make sure that your actions do the multitasking for you, LoVerde says. We know we should be exercising because it helps us stay fit, and we also should be doing breathing exercises to stay calm—but who has time for all of that? Instead, take a yoga class, which does both, she suggested. And when you need to de-stress further, reach for a book instead of turning on the television—reading is calming and it also helps your mind stay strong. “Adopt the attitude that every action should have more than one benefit,” LoVerde says.

6. TAKE ONE MINUTE.

Carve out 10 strategic minutes in the day—one minute at a time—to take a break, says Jeff Davidson, work-life balance expert and author of Breathing Space. One minute every hour isn’t going to effect your work at all, but it does wonders for your mind. “You’re giving yourself permission to pause,” he says. “One of the laments from people who say they have no work-life balance is that they say they never have a break; but realistically, anyone at any time can carve out a minute for themselves.”

7. VISUALIZE THE FINISH LINE.

If you’re in a crunch situation at work, or are on a deadline, you might need to cut back on free time, Davidson says. “But continue to practice strategic pauses, continue to focus on the end result and how you’re going to feel when this is over,” he says. Recognize that this busy period is finite and take on a divide-and-conquer strategy: For these two weeks, this is where my attention needs to be. And then I will have more free time.

8. SAY “NO.”

If you feel unbalanced, chances are that you say “yes” too much, Kulaga says. You may have earned yourself a reputation as the go-to person or the people pleaser, which can cause your work to pile up and take over your life. Saying “no” gives you self-control and confidence, and it lets the favor-asker know your priorities, Kulaga says. When you do turn down a request, be sure to provide other options or resources to get the job done.