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Meet the Real-Life Griswolds Behind an Incredible Holiday Light Display
Joe Drelick spends eight weeks hanging over 35,000 lights and 37 interactive displays for his Harleysville, Pennsylvania, home. Meet the family taking Christmas decorations to an unbelievable level.
16 Fun Facts About the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
This Thursday, Macy’s will send its 90th Thanksgiving Day Parade down the streets of Manhattan. Before tuning in, check out these 16 festive facts about the iconic event.
Bad days happen to the best of us: The alarm doesn’t go off, your kids are fussy, you get stuck in traffic, and as soon as you get to work, you spill coffee down the front of your favorite shirt. And then, to add insult to injury, you log onto Facebook and are greeted by the smiling face of your old college roommate, who is just so #blessed. Lucky her.
But is her life really better than yours? It turns out that being grateful for what you have—even if some days, what you have appears to be a disaster—is mostly an exercise in self-reflection. Here are some simple things you can incorporate into your daily routine in order to better appreciate the good things you have going in your life—and doing so, studies have found, can improve your physical and emotional health.
The task is easy: Each week, take the time to write down and reflect on five things that you’re grateful for. “These can be small things, but big things are fine, too,” Jo-Ann Tsang, associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Baylor University, says.
A 2003 study by researchers from the University of Miami and the University of California, Davis [PDF], found that students who recorded the things they’re grateful for felt better about their lives, exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical problems, were more likely to make progress towards personal goals, and were more optimistic about their upcoming week than students who were tasked with writing down hassles or neutral life events.
For the greatest benefits, focus on people, rather than things, in your journaling, and go into detail about why you appreciate each item. Also, don’t feel compelled to journal daily: According to the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good blog, journaling once per week was found to be more beneficial than daily journaling.
Committing to a full month of reflection not only boosts your gratitude awareness, but gives you the satisfaction of completing a goal. Lisa Ryan, gratitude expert and author of Express Gratitude, Experience Good, suggests writing down three to five things that you’re grateful for each day for the next 30 days. As with gratitude journaling, this exercise works best if you’re specific. Instead of writing that you’re grateful for your husband, Ryan says, “you should write, ‘I’m so thankful that Scott cooked a great dinner last night.'”
If you choose to write your list in the morning, you’ll set a positive expectation for your day. Writing it in the evening will remind you of the good the day brought, even if it was a particularly hard day to get through. It will also help you fall asleep faster and sleep better, Ryan says.
If you’re going through a hard time, write down the names of the people who have helped you in your life. Then, plan a party in their honor. Amy Newmark, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Power of Gratitude, says, “You’ll find that in planning your guest list, you’ll start noticing how many people are there for you extending a helping hand every day. This will make you more grateful, and you’ll feel less alone every day.”
Thinking about the alternatives can help you appreciate what you have, Newmark says. For example, are you stuck emptying the dishwasher again? Think about the fact that you have a warm, comfortable home filled with kitchen appliances. Are you running around in a frenzy, with no time for yourself? Think about how full your life is. “Would you rather not have these errands to do, these kids to drive around, this job that creates all this work?” Newmark asks.
The very fact that you have the ability to do something nice for someone else will make you feel more confident of your own situation, more aware of your own capabilities, and more grateful for the blessings in your own life. Keep a list of the good deeds you perform—it can be as simple as holding a door for someone or letting a mother with a crying child go ahead of you in line at the store, Newmark says.
And find the right “dosage” for you. For some people, doing five kind things on one day each week, rather than doing five good things throughout the week, showed more positive benefits. Others, however, get more of a boost from daily positive activity [PDF].
November 21, 2016 – 4:00pm
(Banner image courtesy of iStock)
November 21, 2016 – 12:00am
Keep Phones Charged With an Adorable Animal Companion
Planning your first trip with a new significant other, friend, or coworker? Traveling with someone for the first time is exciting, especially if it signals a step forward in your relationship. But being together in close quarters or stressful situations can also reveal hidden sides of your companion.
“[Travel] can expose things about each other that you hadn’t previously seen, such as hygiene habits, spending differences, tidiness or messiness, sleep issues like snoring, and eating schedules and habits,” says Tina Tessina, PhD, a psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. “Travel often creates stress: when plans go awry, a flight is delayed, luggage gets lost, a hotel room isn’t as expected, or the weather doesn’t cooperate. All of these experiences will test your ability to solve problems together on the spot.”
Before you jet off, here are a few steps to take to avoid any potential conflict.
“I recently embarked on an overseas trip with a longtime friend, our first-ever together,” says frequent traveler Kari Cruz. “While we’ve been friends for five plus years, there are definitely some standard questions you should ask beforehand … You don’t always think to do this when you’ve gotten to know a person for a long time.”
Specifically, Cruz suggests asking about spending habits. “Are you flexible on where you want to eat and how you want to indulge? This may strain outings if you aren’t on similar budgets,” she says.
You also want to discuss exactly how each of you will pitch in for expenses like gas, hotels, restaurants, and so on. The answer may seem as simple as “split it down the middle,” but if your friend has some expensive tastes—or, conversely, a tight budget—you might be in for a surprise.
Aside from the money, you may have different ideas about what you want to do and see during the trip. “Don’t make assumptions that your companion will like what you like,” says Tessina. “You may have dreams of lying on a beach, while your companion loves the nightlife. Find out who wants what.”
Start by coming up with a list of activities you each want to fit in and rank them by priority. When you’ve each written down three to four sites you have to see, schedule them into your itinerary. If there’s extra time, you can squeeze in some low-priority activities from each list.
“Don’t spring surprises on your travel companion,” Tessina adds. “While it might be nice to see someone you know on your travels, or to visit a place you visited with your ex, your companion might see it differently, if not given time to deal with it in advance.”
It helps to understand your travel partner’s day-to-day habits, too. “It could definitely hamper plans and itineraries if you’re on different schedules,” Cruz says. You might be a morning person who wants to get a jump on the day, while your travel companion is a night owl who’d prefer to spend her nights clubbing and the mornings sleeping in.
By discussing your habits in advance, you can not only prevent conflicts but also create a realistic itinerary. Don’t plan to be at the museum when it opens at 9 a.m. if you know it’s a struggle to rise before 10. And if you know you’ll get grumpy without an afternoon nap, don’t be shy about leaving time for that, too.
“Talk in advance about your hopes, expectations, and fears about the trip,” Tessina says. “While you can’t anticipate everything, having discussed these issues will help each of you understand the other better.”
Along the same lines, it may help to establish some overall travel goals for the trip. Do you want to learn about a destination’s culture or do you want to come back recharged? Or both? You may have different ideas, but by discussing them before you leave home you can figure out how to best accommodate both your needs.
If each of you has starkly different budgets or priorities for the trip, you might consider scheduling time apart to do those things on your own. And even if your goals and plans align, taking some time and space for yourself can be crucial for keeping the peace.
“Traveling together is great—but sometimes we need alone time,” Cruz says. She recommends discussing and scheduling this time in advance to make sure your partner is okay with it—and making it clear your need for a break isn’t a reaction to something they did. You’ll both get to squeeze in all of your activities, and best of all, you can regroup after and share your experiences.
November 18, 2016 – 4:00pm
The economy is improving in many ways (unemployment is down, real GDP is up), but one less-than-ideal trend is on the rise: More adult children live with their parents now than they did just two years ago, according to a recent poll from Fidelity [PDF].
Fidelity’s poll found that 21 percent of Millennials (aged 25 to 35) currently live at home with their parents, compared to just 14 percent in 2014.
“There are several factors contributing to the ‘fuller house,’” Kristen Robinson, senior vice president of Fidelity Investments, tells mental_floss. “For one, Millennials are the most educated generation, and with the increasing cost of higher education, many graduate with significant student loan debt. Living at home can provide an opportunity for this generation to make a dent in their debt before being on their own.
Millennials may also be more career-focused than previous generations. They’re postponing marriage more than previous generations, and Robinson adds that moving back home may be a strategy to focus on careers and financial security while they make a dent in their debt. Data backs this up: Despite living with their parents, 85 percent of Millennials have some form of savings, according to Fidelity’s study.
Of course, moving back home isn’t exactly a cakewalk for parents or their adult children. If you’ve made the tough decision to move back into your childhood bedroom, here’s how to make the transition a little easier.
To avoid any potential conflict over money, time, or habits, it helps to discuss expectations in each of these areas before you move any boxes.
For starters, your parents may have certain ideas about how you handle your finances while you live with them. If your parents expect you to prioritize your student debt, for example, they might be disappointed to see you spending on nights out with friends. Or, you may have conflicting expectations about each other’s schedules and daily habits. Your parents may want you home at a certain time, or to join them for dinner, or to pitch in with specific chores or maintenance.
To avoid a blow-up each time you skip a family meal or stay out all night, you need to have an open conversation with your parents before moving back in.
Once expectations are laid out, it’s important to come up with some rules and guidelines in order to ensure everyone’s needs are met. “When an adult child boomerangs back into a parent’s home, it’s important for the family to discuss who will pay for which expenses,” Robinson says. “Young adults should not assume their parents will pay for the same expenses they did growing up; and likewise, parents should use this as an opportunity to establish new financial guidelines. Communicating these expectations from the beginning should reduce misunderstandings later.”
Beyond money, you may want to set clear boundaries on your time and schedule. If you’ll be out all night, do you owe your parents a call so they don’t worry? Do you set a laundry schedule so you can avoid congestion in the laundry room?
You probably don’t want to live with your parents forever—but when you’re paying minimal rent and have someone to split the grocery bill with it can be hard to leave. Create a realistic framework for building up your savings and a timeline for setting back out on your own.
To do this, you’ll need to learn how to spend responsibly. “If a young adult wants to move out of their parents’ home, a good first step is to set financial goals and create a budget,” says Robinson. “On their own, Millennials will likely incur new expenses that, while living under one roof, their parents may be covering.”
“Fidelity’s rule of thumb suggests a simple 50/15/5 approach to budgeting, where 50 percent is for essential expenses, 15 percent is for retirement savings, and 5 percent is for short-term savings,” Robinson says.
An emergency fund is the foundation of financial security, and you should include one in your exit strategy. “It’s a good idea to have an emergency savings fund,” Robinson says. “With that financial foundation, [Millennials living with their parents] can start to understand how much money they will need to live on their own, and if they haven’t reached their financial goal yet, they can create a plan to get there.”
Most experts recommend having between three and six months’ worth of basic living expenses in your emergency fund. Again, it’s important to get a clear idea of what those expenses are so you can save accordingly.
Money can be a taboo topic, but it’s important to keep the dialogue going, Robinson says. “Having an adult child living at home presents a perfect opportunity to have regular money conversations where parents can share financial successes—and mistakes—from their life, giving their kids an opportunity to learn from their experiences,” she says.
It’s also a good opportunity for parents and adult children to talk about the future. “Even for young adults who are financially independent and living on their own, it’s important that parents and adult children have ongoing conversations related to retirement, elder care, health care costs, wills and estate planning, and inheritance,” Robinson says. “Specifically, parents can communicate what they want for their future, and also explain what role they expect their adult children to play so there are no surprises.”
These conversations aren’t easy, but it’s important to be prepared.
November 17, 2016 – 4:00pm
11 Brilliant Gifts for the Cat in Your Life
Not into sports drinks or protein bars? Reaching for one of these isn’t essential when you’re trying to get in shape. (In fact, they can be packed with so much sugar that they’re not even good choices unless you’re tackling an especially tough or lengthy workout.) When it comes to fueling up before and after you exercise, there are some beneficial—and somewhat surprising—choices that you likely already have in your cabinet or fridge. Read on for six foods and drinks that research has proven are awesome options for staying energized when you hit the gym and to help your body bounce back quickly afterward.
There’s no end to the kale craze in sight—and now research suggests that it can help you work out harder, too. Eating leafy greens like kale and spinach regularly can help improve your muscle fibers, which in turn can boost your athletic performance—especially during high-intensity exercise, like sprint intervals, and if you’re exercising in a low-oxygen condition, like at high altitude, according to a new Belgian study. Researchers say the greens contain nitrate, which benefits fast-oxidative muscle fibers.
Leave the Gatorade on the shelf and reach for refreshing watermelon juice before you get sweaty: Sipping on the sweet juice an hour before exercise relieved people’s muscle soreness, says a study published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry. Researchers say the fruit contains antioxidants and can increase muscle protein.
Leaving the gym and heading for the drive-thru could be a surprisingly good way to help your body recover post-workout. Yes, you read that right: Eating fast food is just as good at restoring glycogen (your muscles’ go-to source of energy) after you work out as traditional options like sports drinks and protein bars, found a recent study published in the International Journal of Sport Nutrition and Exercise Metabolism. Of course, load up on large fries with a cheeseburger and you can quickly overdo it on calories—so sticking to small servings may be your best bet.
Permission to eat chocolate every day, granted. Nibbling on a couple squares of dark chocolate daily can improve exercisers’ endurance, according to a 2015 study. Researchers from Kingston University in London say the dark chocolate has similar benefits to beetroot juice and aids athletic performance by helping to dilate blood vessels and deliver more oxygen to muscles.
If you don’t have a protein bar on hand after exercising, reaching for a serving of cereal with non-fat milk can do the trick. Researchers from the University of Texas at Austin found that eating whole-grain cereal with milk is just as effective for promoting recovery after a lengthy workout. A bowl of the breakfast staple provides carbs, which help replenish your muscles’ stores of glycogen, plus protein for muscle repair.
It’s widely known that caffeine can give you a little athletic jolt, and it turns out coffee is an especially good form to get it pre-workout. Downing a couple mugs of coffee before you hit the running trail or gym can help you go longer, according to a recent study published in the International Journal of Sport Nutrition and Exercise Metabolism. Researchers from the University of Georgia found that when exercisers consumed between 3 and 7 milligrams of caffeine from coffee per kilogram of body weight, their endurance performance increased by about 24 percent. A cup generally contains between 75mg and 150mg of caffeine, so you should feel a boost if you down one before your workout.
All images courtesy of iStock.
November 16, 2016 – 4:00pm