There are a lot of sayings out there about how you have to laugh so you won’t cry, or that laughter is the best medicine, or you have to laugh or you’ll just lose your shit…or maybe those are all kind of the same thing.
All I know is that when it comes to 24/7 parenting with young kids (or older kids, or any kids), knowing there are other parents out there doing it all along with you can really make all the difference.
So please, sit back and have a half at the expense of these 15 parents…because today, it isn’t you.
15. This just warms my heart every time I see it.
I need to get my kids some friends so they won’t need me to play with them all the time.
pure love pic.twitter.com/Nqcg3fuAfT
— The Dad (@thedad) June 3, 2020
14. “Oh, you already ate? I guess I’ll just cook that delicious gourmet meal I had planned tomorrow night.”
Wash, rinse, repeat…just don’t forget to stock up on cereal.
If you wait long enough to make dinner, everyone will just eat cereal.
It's science.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 26, 2020
13. Sure, that’s a good try, kid.
Time is relative anyway, so.
me: [spend time teaching 5 how to read a clock]
5: ok!
me: so what time is it now?
5: 13 and 87 50.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 3, 2020
12. I don’t understand why whispering is so hard.
But I do understand why it’s good that you can hear what you under-five is saying at all times.
There is nothing more unsettling than a 5-year-old trying to whisper something into your ear.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 1, 2020
11. Dads don’t make the rules, they just follow them.
How would you know you were talking to a dad otherwise?
Dad Law: If someone returns to get something they forgot, a dad will tease:
a. “Back already?”
b. “Well that was fast.”
c. “How was it?”— The Dad (@thedad) June 3, 2020
10. We go back and forth on the talking thing so many times over the course of 18 years.
We can’t wait for them to talk, then we can’t wait for them to shut up, and on and on.
Parenting young kids: *omg do they ever stop talking, I think they’ve been talking for 8 hours straight, does it ever end?*
Parenting older kids : “how is school, where are you going, are you dating anyone, what kind of music do you like? OMG PLEASE TALK TO ME!”
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) May 27, 2020
9. If you have little kids, they’re all broken when you do find them.
Also so are the crayons and why do none of the markers have lids?
Parenting time is split evenly between finding pencils lying around everywhere, and not being able to find a pencil at all when you need one.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 1, 2020
8. Yes and remember they will always repeat everything you say.
So watch it. I mean, if you care about that sort of thing.
Went to pay for my Starbucks in the drive-thru & the barista said “the handsome man behind you is going to pay for yours!” I look back & say “Oh! That’s my husband!”
She said “That’s so sweet! You’re lucky!” & then my son hollered “yeah you don’t live with him!”
Kids are fun.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 30, 2020
7. Ah, so it’s not just my 3yo.
He would eat cookies and popsicles all day and then wonder why his stomach hurt if I let him.
My 3yo cried for half an hour cause I wouldn’t let her eat a 2nd popsicle for lunch and then all of a sudden she stopped crying, sighed heavily and said, “Fiiiine, I’ll have a cookie instead”.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) May 29, 2020
6. One day they’ll be gone.
You can have hobbies and a clean house, at least until they want you to babysit the grandkids.
A step-by-step guide on how to not finish anything.
Step One: Have kids.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) October 15, 2018
5. The penguin might smell worse.
In theory.
If someone were to replace my toddler with a drunk penguin, it would honestly take me at least an hour to realize
— The Dad (@thedad) June 3, 2020
4. Someone is cruising for a bruising.
It’s like he knows nothing about his own mother.
That’s because that game is lame now and no one good plays it anymore.
-my middle schooler “congratulating” me on my first Fortnite win.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 28, 2020
3. Hardy har-har I would expect nothing less.
Dads gotta dad, y’all. Like I said.
Honey, why is the diaper bag filled to the top with quarters?!
Pretty cool huh? The restroom had a baby changing station.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 17, 2020
2. Parents definitely need to know how quickly a toddler can bust something.
It’s directly related to how much you’re willing to pay for it.
I’m starting a YouTube channel where I walk around my house giving product reviews for everything my kids have broken.
— luke i am your mother (@MommaUnfiltered) May 28, 2020
1. Cat parents really take this whole gig very seriously.
And honestly cats just don’t care one bit.
I don't know how you parents shield your kids from the horrors of this world when I won't even let my cat watch the news
— Cats Against Humanity (@CatsVsHumanity) June 2, 2020
These are slaying me! Kids are so great and also so awful all at once, right?
What’s the funniest thing you’ve read about parenting this week? Share it with us in the comments!
The post Funny Parenting Tweets You Won’t Want to Miss appeared first on UberFacts.