People Debate Which Candy Is The Worst Of All-Time

A good majority of us prefer sweet over savory, and we are insatiable when it comes to our cravings for treats with sugar as the primary ingredient.

As kids, many of us may or may not have salivated over the candy selection at the grocery check-out counter and “accidentally” threw a KitKat and/or a Twix bar on top of mom’s grocery pile for purchasing.

We could devour any of those selections. Or could we?

When it comes to sweets, it seems we can still be discerning about which ones to put in our mouths.

Redditor EmmaClark43244 asked:

“What is the worst candy of all time?”

Acquired Taste?

“I’ve never understood why people hate candy corn. I love them personally but I’m mentioning it because I know people hate ’em.” – Dyl-thuzad

Chocolate Knock-Off

“Palmer brand ‘chocolate’.”

“The cheapest most garbage chocolate you can buy a lot of around easter and Halloween.” – sneed_feed-seed

No Sugar? No Way

“Haribo sugar free gummies.” – Sonotmethen

Not For Black Licorice Fans

“Dubbelzoute drop. From the Netherlands. It’s just anise (black licorice flavor) and tons of salt, with no sugar. My former boss was Dutch and loved them, made me eat them from time to time to be polite… It’s not something you can ever love, unless you grew up thinking it was normal.” – MightiestThor

Thank You, Bertie Bott’s Beans

“Those Harry Potter jelly beans that actually taste like the flavors they have like earwax, dirt, puke. Yeah. Not a good experience.” – Bulky_Bicycle_9196

Waxy Goodness

“Those weird wax bottles in the candy section were you drink the sugar water (these are tiny, like the size of a finger) and are just stuck with the wax afterwards.” – peonyseahorse

Unloved Candy

“those valentines hearts that are stamped out of sidewalk chalk.” – thefirstbrick

Not A Fan

“Zoute Drop: It’s black licorice and salt. Imagine chewing on a tablespoons of pure salt with unsweetened licorice.” – greeniewillow

They’re Definitely Not Peanuts

“Circus peanuts. What the heck even are they. Weird fruit-but-not-any-fruit-youve-ever-eaten flavor, off-putting orange color, shaped like mutated peanut with the consistency of smushed marshmallow.” – thousand7734

The Familiar Suspects

“Laughing at these comments because I love all of these – circus peanuts, black licorice, Good and Plenty, Twizzlers, candy corn, conversation hearts, Werther’s Originals, etc.”

“If I had to pick one from the comments so far it would probably be Tootsie Rolls. You think it’s gonna be chocolate but it’s something weird. Tootsie Pops on the other hand are the bomb!” – DadsRGR8

Big Offenders

“You’re gonna hate me but I have a list.. all wax candies including candy corn, candy pumpkins and those bottles. Twizlers, black licorice, anything black licorice flavored. Any chocolate that you put in your mouth that doesn’t melt but rather.. crumbles?”

“Like chalk/sand chocolate. Idk it’s awful. Idk if this counts but those bubble gum brands that decide to turn into mashed potatoes as you chew them absolutely randomly.”

“This is because of a personal experience involving two pounds of them and vomit, but, jelly beans, and along with them, other similar candies. Candies that aren’t really candy but rather that healthy thing that grandma gave you.”

“Not because they taste bad, they’re almost always strangely good, but because they’re misleading and that’s a crime. The ‘mixed berry’ and ‘cherry’ and the occasional ‘grape’ candies that taste like liquid cough medicine.”

“Idk what they’re called but they’re like.. they come in the form of lollipops sometimes, or something similar to off brand jolly ranchers.” – Shh_Its_Alex

Gummy Swimmers

“Swedish fish. They taunt you with their outward appearance. Luring you into a false sense of security. They fill your head with the childhood memories of yore.”

“Begging you to come closer. Please, put me in your mouth. Please. I’m just like a gummy bear. F’KING LIES!!!!!” – SeaFaringPig

Halloween Staple

“Candy corn. It’s not even remotely close.” – Adomillad

Thing About Hershey’s

“Coming from the UK and being raised on Cadburys, I’m really not sure how anyone enjoys Hersheys which absolutely tastes like literal puke.” – purplehornet1973

Soda Pop Bottle

“Them waxy little soda’s with that liquid inside. As a kid I always thought you were supposed to eat the whole thing. Yuk.” – KingsterMan

It’s a Marshmallow World

“PEEPS! I just don’t get what there is to like about them. My kids will knock over a 7-11 for them. Yellow ones, pink ones, rabbit or pumpkin shaped….same mushy crap.” – nuclear_pickle_cpc

Taste Of Wax Paper

“When I was a kid I tried those dots of sugar on the paper roll? The paper would always stick to the sugar, you rarely got the dot off with out the paper. It was annoying and even though the sugar tasted great, the chewing of paper was not.” – MickeyRipple

Sucker

“Lollipops kinda suck ass. Probably not the worst they just popped into my mind. I don’t want to commit to sucking on that damn thing for several minutes when I could just eat something different that’s over and done with in 10 seconds. Idk maybe I’m weird.” – Jimjangofett

Sticky Kisses

“I just found out the name of these after 33 years. I also don’t know if they are available outside of Canada, but should be. They are called Molasses kisses.”

“I enjoy molasses but these are the most disgusting of candy. I never met anyone that like them. Everyone I know hated them. Don’t know why do many people bought them to give away, never even seen any to buy from any sites either, I have no idea where people get em.”

“It’s so weird.” – Asrack

Poo-Pourri

“The lavender-flavored hard candy from Europe that turns your mouth blue. It tastes like a pot-puri.”

“I was given a piece when I was filling in for the regular staff and was dispensing medications (pharmacist) with a blue mouth all day. I got punked big time.” – TapirRide

Brown Wax

“Tootsie Rolls are awful. I’ve never met anyone who buys Tootsie rolls and enjoys them. The only time anyone gets a Tootsie roll is on Halloween when they’re unlucky enough to visit a house that hates children.” – drblah1

For me, it’s wax lips.

Why are those always in the candy section when they should be in the toy section?

Because those aren’t candy.

It’s a simulation of Botox gone wrong.

No thank you, next!

People Share The One Thing Their Parents Said To Them That Still Haunts Them Today

WARNING: some stories involve threats of physical harm or assault of a child

Not every parent is perfect.

A lot of the time, you don’t have to be.

You just need to show up, do your best, make sure your kids(s) have enough food and water for the day and know where they are at any given time. Some days there doesn’t have to be more to it than that.

Yet there are those parental figures who seem resentful of their position, as if they’re angry or unable to let go of their ego in regards to raising their child. From there, the stories only seem to get worse and worse, as we see a litany of stories all starting and ending the same way, with terrible parents.

Reddit user Angry_Cheesecake_ asked:

“What’s the thing that your parents did/said to you that still haunts you to this day?”

Small Remarks With Lasting Effects

“Maybe you could run a few laps”

“One year when I was 12 I attended Christmas at my stepmom’s parents house. It was cool. They get us a few things including some jeans from JC Penny’s.”

“They were the right size but when I got to his house I tried them on and they didnt fit, so I told him they were too small. He responded with ‘maybe you could run a few laps’. He always made off handed comments about my weight but this is ingrained in my brain” ~ hillern21

Tell Me What You Really Think, Dad

“Mom, Dad and I were in the living room watching 60 Minutes one night when I was doing a college program for Graphic Design, which I was really struggling with. 60 Minutes was doing a segment on really skilled art forgers, and I made a comment at the end that being able to fool professionals was really impressive, even though it was obviously illegal and wrong.”

“I added that last part in due to my Dad’s penchant for jumping onto random stuff to be upset at you for, but it wasn’t enough. He angrily burst out that he didn’t want me thinking that what the forger did was impressive, because he didn’t want me turning to that when my art career failed.”

“I mean, I am not and never will be that good, but thanks I guess? I did finish that degree but am changing careers now. All I know is that while I won’t name drop him, that story is going into an acceptance speech somewhere down the line.” ~ morgan145

An Overreaction To A Small Situation

“i hit my brother or teased him or something I can’t remember but it wasn’t very serious (or maybe I said ‘damn’ and my brother picked it up or something) but my dad backed me into the sofa and yelled at me with his face all red from anger ‘I WILL KILL YOU’.”

“I was like 12”

“my parents are usually kind and are very loving so this memory legitimately brings tears to my eyes every time I think of it and any time I need to stop myself from smiling or laughing I think about it and my mood shifts and I hate myself for it” ~ owidh73923sksbha2083

Excluded From The Family

“When I was about 8 or 9, my dad relinquished his parental rights and my step dad adopted me. At the time, he told me he had to take care of his other kids, and just couldn’t take care of me.”

“His wife (during that same final visit) told me that they were trying to have another girl so my sister could have a ‘real’ sister. (All my siblings are half siblings). She ended up having 3 more sons, but no other daughters.”

“Honestly, it broke me as a kid. Since all my siblings were half siblings, I already didn’t feel a part of my own family.”

“My mom couldn’t understand because I was her only kid. All of my siblings had each other and then I was just—by myself.”

“I have struggled with the fear of rejection, and not felt good enough for a long time. It definitely damaged me.” ~ danireeseetc

There’s Nothing Wrong. Some People Can’t Cope.

”What is wrong with you ?! You really have a f-cking problem!”

“By my grandma. I had undiagnosed ADHD, autism and auditory processing disorder, and she was asking why I was not like everyone else. Still hurts years later.” ~ Elisaelle_Alexandre

A Long Series Of Terrible, Fatherly Scorn

“’I hope you die’ ‘Let me just tell everyone how my daughter’s legs are open for every guy’ ‘I’m just gonna go to my other daughter and take care of her since she’ll turn out way better than you’ ‘I don’t care I don’t wanna be your father anyway’ ‘You are just as bad as your mother’.”

“He in fact didn’t have another daughter. He fought for custody years ago only to kick me out.”

“He shouldn’t have lied to court all those years ago if he never wanted me. And if I’m just as bad as my mother he would’ve never tried to get back with her again and cheat on his wife and then use me as an excuse.” ~ GianKMore

A Horrendously Awful Take On A Horrendously Awful Situation

“’If he really wanted to rape you, he would have’—my dad in regards to me being sexually assaulted.” ~ hcomesafterg

Sounds Like An Outstanding Mother

“‘You can die and I wouldn’t care’—said by my birthgiver for struggling in school. She’d also often threaten to kill me if I didn’t improve.” ~ congolesequeen

Just A String Of Them, It Would Seem

“‘You are a disgrace to your father’. He died months before I was born so I never knew him. This was just because I hid my report card from her.”

“Bonus: ‘yeah, I think you’re a whore’. This was because I slept over at my boyfriend’s house for one night. I was 22.” ~ Syntt_

Misreading The Scenario

“‘You’re an emotional terrorist’ because I was suicidal. I was like 15/16.”

“Clearly I was only suicidal because I was trying to manipulate them and not because I was severely mentally ill and being abused.” ~ s9631245

Had bad parents?

While that’s horrible, you’re not alone.

Don’t let what anyone says get you down, even if those people supposedly raised you.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

People Confess What Instantly Ruins Their First Impression Of Someone

First impressions can only happen once, so we put a lot of weight into them. Whether it be making a friend or interviewing for a job, it can effect the outcome of future relationships.

There’s a phenomenon called the “halo effect” where we associate perceived positive qualities about someone based on one quality of similar perception. For example, if your first impression of your coworker was they are kind and a good listener, you might go to them first when you need help with something.

Because there’s so much weight in these initial encounters, we wanted to know what things would absolutely ruin a first impression.

Redditor i_Fahmy asked:

“What instantly ruins someone’s first impression with you?”

Here’s some helpful hints that might help you on your next first date or interview.

Not asking questions.

“All statements, no questions. Most of the boring people I know aren’t interesting because they aren’t interested in anything other than themselves.” – GGAllinPartridge

“Asking questions is the easiest way to avoid the awkwardness of not having something to talk about.”

“Also a good way to have a long, thought provoking conversation.” – MurphyAteIt

“Knew someone like that. I’d call up and they’d spend the entire phone call talking about themselves. Before we stopped talking I can remember quite a few times ‘I’ve heard this before.’” – tmofee

Interruptions without apology.

“Interrupting without apologizing.” – lightningbug24

“I find myself doing this more and more, especially with zoom calls.”

“I just moved to a new part of the country where the pace of speech is so much slower than I’m used to. I feel like the sentence is coming to an end and then the thoughts just keep on rolling.” – Chill_Charro

“I find myself doing this sometimes but to ask questions/try to predict where the story is going as a way to show I’m actually listening instead of staring at my phone and saying ‘that’s crazy’ every 3 seconds.” – LittleMsSparkles

“I have a friend who does this constantly. I’ll be trying to tell her something and she’ll cut me off mid-sentence and start talking about a completely unrelated topic. Drives me insane.” – emshlaf

A “top that” attitude.

“One-upping someone else’s story.” – StructuralSynapse

“Oh man, you know what’s even worse than this? This one time I knew a guy who wouldn’t even let people finish their stories before interrupting them. Way worse.” – tehmlem

“I always worry as I used to tell stories in similar veins, not to one up but to try to show empathy and understanding. But it probably came off as arrogance. Now I just say I understand how that feels due to similar experiences.” – Mueryk

“It helps if you keep your story short and end it with a question about their story, prompting them to say more or continue.” – SmartAlec105

“Even if your story is bigger/louder/better etc. you can still share it, but it helps to circle back to the original story and re-focus on something unique about it.” – whitewallpaper76

Glorifying their struggles.

“People who use mental illness as a personality. I don’t mean people who struggle with mental illness, I mean the people who glorify the struggle as an excuse or quirky trait. I struggle myself, but I’ll be damned if I use it as an excuse to make people feel sorry for me.” – Nobodys_Perfect96

“I grew up with a father who used his depression to make us take pity on him and forgive his abusive behavior. Today I see some of my family did copy him on that (e.g. one of my sisters), and I notice very quickly people doing it. It really pulls me an inner trigger and makes me dislike the person immediately.” – kallyous

“My motto is ‘you should never be ashamed of your mental health issues, but you shouldn’t be proud of them either.’”

“By all means, take pride in the work you’ve done to live with, or overcome your issues, but not the issues themselves. The moment you make it ‘your thing’ you are A. passing the responsibility for dealing with the issue onto everyone else, and B. making it far more difficult for you to ever overcome the issue, as it would mean having to give up a part of yourself.” – trout_a_la_creme

“And people who try to blame their racism, sexism, etc. on their mental disorders! Like… No, Janice, your ADHD did not cause you to call Hua a racial slur!” – everylittlelie

Talking behind people’s backs.

“Talking sh*t about an ex, sibling or parent. As a first impression.” – Icy-Ad-7331

“Sh*t talking or gossiping about anyone in general. If someone is just meeting me for the first time and one of the first things they talk about is something that works to put others in a negative light, then that sets off major alarms to me.” – PianoManGidley

“Alternatively: DO talk about and praise all the cool people you are friends with. Makes you seem nice and those who are friends with interesting people are often pretty interesting themselves.” -MaxDamage1

Being rude as a joke.

“Being rude to service workers or being overfamiliar with me and being rude in the name of jokes. Yeah no f*ck off.” – Guilty_Strawberry247

“People making sh*tty/stupid jokes about me and thinking I’d find it funny (not noticing I don’t). It’s not that I can’t take a joke, but there is a difference about someone you know well making a joke which actually fits you, even if it hurts vs some person you barely know making a joke about you they think is totally you but is just weird.” – LanimationsD

“Sometimes I get nervous I might be too ‘nice’ what do you consider overfamiliar? I tend to respect personal space but what do you think is overfamiliar??” – kindadid

“Oh overfamiliar meaning like I meet you for the first time and you give me a nickname or start making jokes at my expense.” – Guilty_Strawberry247

“How people treat servers is a biggie. I had a first and last date with a guy who ordered a specific brand of beer, got said beer, and began to yell at the server that it was the wrong beer. Think asked for Coors, then yelled because he wanted a Yuengling. I noped the hell out after seeing that.” – Wynterborne

How they treat those around them.

“How they treat people who can’t do anything for them. Especially when they’re rude to the homeless or janitors.” – redboy2122

“I have also seen that in a social context ie people who mistreat those they consider ‘beneath’ them. I’ve seen it a lot from privileged people towards gays, immigrants and women.”– kindadid

“I hate this! Especially disrespecting homeless people simply because they’re homeless. They’re people! The deserve some respect and dignity.” -ChikaDeeJay

Showing a fake life online.

“Show offs, clout chasers or people who feel the need to overhype their life on social when in reality they live kinda boring lives.” – Vast-Dark-2711

“I used to work with a guy that was the epitome of this. Always had to act like he was the one in charge, had to act like the only reason any of the work was getting done was because of him, wanted to run his mouth about how he’d fight anyone and didn’t give a f*ck, always buying expensive sh*t that he couldn’t afford and trying to show it off.”

“It was kinda like, dude, you work at subway, you don’t have that much to be proud of. And yeah, that new truck you bought looks great, I bet it’ll look real good in two months when the repo man hauls it off.”

“I’ve never met a bigger douchebag in my life.” – timmyisserpico

What they do with their mouth.

“Chewing with their mouth open or talking with their mouth full.” – Westsidebill

“Oh my god this. In a similar vein, mouth breathers. The date is over if any of these three things mentioned occur. It’s so off putting.” – VulcanVegan

Invasive questions.

“If you don’t mind me asking (inset sexual question).’” – WrapAdministrative26

“And sexual jokes at the top of their voice for the whole restaurant to hear. So rude.” – Thewhatnow92

“Not like it’s any of my business…but have you tried anal? Just wondering lol. By the way, can you pass me salt, please? Thanks. So as I was saying, anal.” – javier_aeoa

Hopefully you never have to encounter people who do these types of things.

Though, maybe it’s best to know up front what they’re really like instead of who they want you to believe they are.

People Wax Nostalgic About Their Best Christmas Memory Of All Time

Ebenezer Scrooge is not alone in harkening back to Christmases past.

Many of us reflect on prior holidays.

We enjoy both sharing and hearing about the happy holidays people had.

So a number of Redditors asked:

“What is your best Christmas memory?”

To Grandmother’s House We Go…

“Every Christmas Eve, at Grandma’s house, we’d all have a giant nerf war. We all had our teams of cousins we’d pair up with, and it was awesome!” ~ polysnip

Disbelief

“Not really my ‘best’ but it’s one of my favourites. It was when my dad told me Santa wasn’t real when I was maybe 7 or 8.”

“He was on the road working so it was over the phone, and I immediately hung up and started crying. Then, I called his dad and told him the ‘lie’ my dad just told me.”

“He just laughed… I was so convinced that Santa was real I seriously thought my dad was lying.” ~ jimothy-pickens

A Memory Made Of Memories

“A few years ago, on Christmas Eve we found a box of our baby videos, and we all sat down and watched them for hours.” ~ reammachine

Special Surprise

“Shocking my 16-year-old son with his first car.” ~ Scrappy_Larue

To Be A Kid Again

“The Christmas my parents decided to say we were old enough to not have Santa visit anymore. My brothers and I (6 of us in total) ranged in age from 15 to 26 and we threatened to boycott Christmas if Santa wasn’t part of it.”

“So my parents went out and bought a load of cheap toys for Santa to deliver—water pistols, foam dart guns, swords, shields, dress-up items like Viking hats and crowns and feather boas that could be worn by adults.”

“We spent the day playing like little kids again and it was so much fun. ~ KittikatB

A Very Special Delivery

“I’ll do two. One is the best memory I have that occurred on Christmas, the second is a good (can’t really choose a best) Christmas memory.”

“The first is being surprised three weeks early with the birth of my first child, on Christmas Day. Her birth itself is the absolute best part of the memory, holding her and seeing her for the first time, best present ever. Afterward I failed to even think of checking the nearby Chinese restaurant to see if they were open.”

“My Christmas dinner that year was a bowl of Cheerios sitting in front of the Alastair Sim Christmas Carol before heading back to the hospital for the next two days.”

“A good memory from my childhood (I was probably in Jr. High, if not high school) was the year I decided to stay up all night.”

“After our Christmas Eve festivities, when everyone else went to bed, I set up shop right by the tree, turned on the radio to the all Christmas music channel, grabbed a big mug of cocoa (with mini candy cane dropped in), and spent the night gazing at the tree, reading A Christmas Carol and A Child’s Christmas in Wales, and eventually ending up lying under the tree, where I probably ended up dozing for a bit, but would wake up, see it was still dark, hear the music, and be so happy the night could keep going like that.”

“In the morning, I stoked the fire, grabbed more cocoa, and made our traditional morning pillsbury orange rolls and waited for everyone else to get up. So much fun because it really stretched out my favorite part of Christmas (Eve) and let me enjoy everything with no distractions.” ~ RealPwaully

A Precious Gift

“I’ll do two.”

“Childhood: I was 10, it was Christmas Eve 1996, my dad was dying (it was his last Christmas). He hadn’t lost his voice yet, the cancer hadn’t spread to his throat at this point. We usually did a big Christmas Eve thing with all my mom’s family but this year they left fairly early and we had time as a little family unit to exchange our gifts for each other.”

“I don’t really remember what anyone else got but I do remember that my dad handed me this little box and told me to open it. It was a beautiful white gold charm bracelet with one charm on it, it said my name on one side and the other said Love, Dad Xmas ‘96.”

“He told me he wanted me to fill it with charms from all my travels and adventures. It’s the greatest gift I could ever get. I look at it now and know that my dad loved me. I miss him everyday.”

“Adulthood: I was 30, Christmas 2016. I had started hosting my mom’s side of the family on Christmas Eve a few year before but this was definitely the best. I rearranged my furniture to make sure everyone could fit in our little townhouse. My house was full of delicious smells from cooking all of our family staples for Christmas Eve dinner and the smell of the tree.”

“Everyone showed up on time, there was zero family drama, everyone had an awesome time and left by 10. Christmas Day we went to my husband’s parents’ house and celebrated with his family and his grandparents.”

“It’s also his mom’s birthday that day, she used to make us spend all of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her which left no time for my family. This was the first year she didn’t have a hissy fit that we weren’t with them Christmas Eve even though we had been doing it that way for a few years already.”

“It was a good memory.” ~ mirandawg

A Mother’s Love

“My fondest memory as a child is when we had Christmas away from home because my mom’s dad was dying. It was maybe a week or so before Christmas and suddenly my mom said we had to go to Arizona because her dad wasn’t doing well.”

“I didn’t see my grandpa often and he didn’t speak English, but he was always kind to me. As a kid, I was bummed that we were not going to be home for Christmas.”

“He passed and mom was very sad. It was hard for me to process the feelings as a child.”

“I remember Christmas Eve was lackluster since it was at my dad’s mom’s house (she was distant and cold to us grandkids.) I was bummed because I thought Santa wasn’t going to find us.”

“Come Christmas morning there were a bunch of presents under the tree. I got a pet robot dog, which had me so happy because my parent’s never let me have a dog despite always asking.”

“Now that I’m older, I appreciate what my mom did. She was going through a very hard time in her life. She lost her mom when she was 3, so losing her dad was a tremendous loss for her.”

“Despite all this, she made sure that we had a good Christmas with presents. I remember being in disbelief that Santa found us, and she told me that she let Santa know where we would be so he can bring our presents.” ~ FoxPaws26

Magical Morning

“When I was in kindergarten, my parents used to decorate the entire house for Christmas overnight while I was sleeping unawares. I remember going to sleep as usual, with the home as usual, and then waking up into what only could be described in my little mind then as magic.”

“I remember running back and forth to the pretty candles and runner on the side table, to admiring the garlands along the staircase rails—giddy with excitement.” ~ Reddit

The Joy Of Giving

“When I was in high school the history teachers all did a toy and food drive for Christmas. They had a friendly competition of whose class would donate the most.”

“I told my Mom about it and for some reason she decided to go all out. We went to the Walmart toy department and filled up a whole cart. Then we went to the grocery store and did the same.”

“When I came to school the next day I felt like Santa Claus himself with my sacks full of toys and food. I got there early so my classmates wouldn’t see but my teacher happened to be there early too. The look on his face was priceless.”

“Needless to say we won!” ~ Badw0IfGirl

The Best Meal He Ever Ate

“Christmas was on a Sunday. My brother is a pastor, and for our families, Sunday meant church. We decided to have our Christmas celebration (presents, the big dinner, etc) on Monday.”

“For Sunday dinner, I was making a huge lasagna (Monday’s feast would be the traditional turkey with all the fixings). We were staying in the area for a short time before relocating for my husband’s military assignment, so we didn’t know many people.”

“My brother called me and told me that a sick elderly woman named Jean (who used to attend the church and whom he frequently visited) was at home, very near death, and her husband (Al) was keeping vigil by her side, with the hospice nurse coming by daily to administer pain meds. The woman had been a faithful church member when she was younger, before the cancer, but her husband was known to be a cantankerous old grump who had never darkened the door of the church.”

“My brother asked if, since I was making this big lasagna, would I make a smaller pan for Al. Of course. My husband and I started planning, and I called Al to arrange to stop by and drop the lasagna off on our way to church. This was all quite sudden; it was Christmas Eve early afternoon.”

“Al answered the phone, and I introduced myself as his wife’s pastor’s sister. My brother had told Al to expect our call and told Al that we were new to the area, and that my husband was in the Navy, just as a sort of introduction. I told Al that I was making a lasagna and would like to bring it by in the morning.”

“Well, Al exploded. ‘You’re making a what?’, he yelled. ‘A lasagna’, I repeated. ‘An Italian pasta dish with meat and sauce and cheese’.”

“Al shouted and I held the phone away from my ear. ‘I thought that preacher guy said your husband was in the Navy. Is he a Nazi? I don’t want any %($)@ Mexican food. It’s Christmas, for (@(#’s sake. Why are you asking to make me Mexican Nazi food?’”

“I was stunned. Mexican? Nazi? That’s quite a stretch from lasagna. I didn’t know what to say.”

“Then Al spoke, sternly, spitting out every word. ‘I want a turkey dinner. And gravy. And it better have NO LUMPS. And cranberry sauce. The kind with NO LUMPS. And carrots. The ones cut into round shapes, cooked nice and soft. [my husband silently mouthed to me ‘with NO LUMPS’ and I almost lost it at that point]. And mashed potatoes. With NO LUMPS. You can come at 9 tomorrow morning. GOOD BYE!’ and he slammed the phone down.”

“I looked at my husband, my red-haired Navy husband, and just said ‘Mexican? Nazi? No lumps? A whole turkey dinner? What did we just get into?’ It was now 3 pm Christmas eve.”

“We ran to the car and drove to the supermarket which was closing at 5 pm. There were no turkeys. None. We frantically scanned aisles, and at one point we considered buying frozen tv dinners and re-constructing them to pretend they were homemade.”

“But we couldn’t bring ourselves to do that. This would be Al’s last Christmas, last dinner with his wife of almost 60 years.”

“Then, in the corner of the meat department, I saw a little package among the beef roasts. Could it be a turkey? It had that familiar yellow packaging. Someone must have picked it up, then set it down far from the poultry.”

“It was as if an angel was guarding it. It was a fresh, not frozen, 3 pound hotel-cut turkey breast! I grabbed it like it was a fumbled football that I had to pounce on.”

“A quick run around the store like we were in a race followed, and we soon had potatoes, carrots, jellied cranberry sauce, and sadly, a jar of gravy which we would ordinarily never use, but as my husband kept hissing into my ear every ten seconds ‘no lumps!’ we settled for jarred gravy.”

“The two of us were giggling like fools. We found a nice silver-colored plastic serving tray, and some inexpensive serving bowls that didn’t look like cheap plastic storage tubs, and a pretty little votive candle. Then we raced home to cook.”

“At 9 the next morning, we showed up to Al and Jean’s home, with a tray bearing a beautiful roasted turkey breast, a dish of gravy (LUMP-FREE), mashed potatoes (NO LUMPS), nicely sliced cranberry sauce, perfectly sliced carrots cooked soft and drizzled with butter, a Christmas cookie, and the candle.”

“Al glanced at everything and said not one single word, not even ‘hello’. I asked if I could see Jean, and he nodded. Jean was laying in a rented hospital bed, seemingly unaware of everything, breathing quietly. I set the votive candle (unlit, but in a pretty container) next to her bed and whispered ‘merry Christmas Jean’ and quietly left.”

“Al said nothing. His expression was mean and sneering. He stared at my husband, and I’m sure he was wondering how this handsome man in a United States Navy uniform somehow thought that Mexican Nazi food would be appropriate for Christmas.”

“Al’s eyes narrowed as he suspiciously looked us both over. We told him goodbye and left in fear before he could inspect the meal for lumps. Al had not muttered one single syllable.”

“We heard nothing more, as shortly after that we moved to another Navy base. But about three months later, I got a phone call from a lady who attended the church.”

“She told me ‘I just had the strangest thing happen. I ran into Al at the hardware store. What a mean man he is. But I felt sorry for him and I greeted him’.”

“‘I don’t know if you heard, but Jean died shortly after midnight on Christmas, and Al has been a recluse in the house since then. But he had an errand to do, and when I expressed my condolences, he told me the strangest story. He said that “that preacher” (my brother) asked someone to make him a Christmas dinner’.”

“He said the preacher told him it was his sister, but she’s married to some Mexican and that the dinner was going to be some kind of Nazi food. I thought Al was crazy, but then he described the meal that he got’.”

“‘He remembered everything—the perfect turkey, the smooth gravy and potatoes, the sliced carrots just the way he liked them. And then, his face softened and the mean ugly sneer disappeared’.”

“‘And quietly, without a single curse word, he leaned over and whispered to me: “it was the best meal I ever had, and I ate it beside Jean’s bed and I told her how everything tasted. And I sat there until she died. I don’t know who made it, but that preacher said it was his sister. He’s a liar. But it was the best dinner I ever ate”‘.”

“The woman continued ‘I know you and your husband made the meal, because at the funeral, your brother told me that you had brought a meal to Al the day Jean died. I have no idea where he got the idea you’re married to a Mexican Nazi, but I thought you’d want to know that it was the best Christmas meal ever’.” ~ eb04

May this year bring the happiest of holiday memories for you and yours.

Tattoo Artists Divulge Their Worst ‘Tattoo Virgin’ Stories

Getting a tattoo can be very exciting. Maybe you’ve been deciding on what you wanted for a long time and saving little by little to have enough for a sizable piece.

There’s nothing like the nervousness and excitement of that very first tattoo. In fact, when we experience that kind of pain, our body releases endorphins. That might be why we keep going back for more after we’ve gotten our first done.

However, some people faint during their first tattoos from that pain. That’s caused by Vasovagal or ‘reflex’ Syncope. Our blood pressure and heartrate can drop and cause us to be a puddle on the floor before we know it.

Redditor ArthurThyKing asked:

“Tattoo Artists of Reddit, who was your worst ‘tattoo virgin’?”

There are tons of first timer stories of people passing out, being rude to their tattoo artist, or having unconventional things happening to them while under the needle. We compiled this list of the best stories from real tattoo artists.

Always eat a good meal.

“One of my coworkers was tattooing a girl on her 18th birthday or something like that. She was getting script on her wrist, nothing huge but after 3-4 lines her face drained of color and she went completely limp and passed out.”

“He had caught her so she didn’t fall out of the chair but we then heard the sound of something similar to a leaky faucet as everyone realized the poor girl peed herself when she blacked out.”

“After a few minutes and a soda to get her blood sugar back up one of her friends brought her some gym shorts to change into as we cleaned the area. She finished the tattoo that day like a f*cking champ but we’ve never seen nor heard from her again.”

“I’m sure she was mortified…remember kids always eat a good meal before getting tattooed or pierced no matter how small or simple you think it is.” – Gemini_Sol

“Worth mentioning that this advice is for everyone. I’m a large guy and I felt really faint during one tattoo as I simply hadn’t eaten or drank enough.”

“Chocolate bar / sugary drink beforehand and a bottle of water for during is something I now consider essential pre-tattoo purchases.” – cat666

Trying to act tough.

“Piercer but I have seen sh*t. A very large guy came in and wanted a tattoo on his inner arm fat. Tattoo artist tried to talk him out of it because of the loose skin in the area. Guy is like ‘I have a high tolerance for pain’.”

“Well now he has a curved line on his inner bicep. They tried three times and he couldn’t sit still and the pain was unbearable.”

“He was jumping out of the chair while a needle was near his arm. And yes, when he left we sh*t talked him for about a week. Mainly because he just was acting so tough before hand and wouldn’t listen.” – I’mStillaPrick

It’s backwards!

“I’ll take this one. I had a client who got a Jesus fish with Greek letters on his chest. I put the stencil on, he looks down says ‘looks good’ and we do the tattoo. Guy sits like a CHAMP through his entire first tattoo.”

“I finish up after about 45 minutes, he checks it out in the mirror and immediately goes pale, starts to sweat and sits down. Dude looks at me and says ‘it’s BACKWARDS!’ All shook.”

“I look at his tattoo, look at him on the floor, look at the mirror and tell the guy ‘I’m gonna take a photo of it for you to see, because you don’t know how mirrors work’. A couple minutes go by as I’m handing the dude paper towels.”

“The guy stands up all quick and try’s to play it off like he was just messing with me even though for a minute there, there was a corpse on my studio floor….” – tattoosbyjerad

“Imagine you didn’t point out the mirror effect. So next time he comes in he writes/draws out the plans backwards to get the right affect hahahah.” – OutrageousFix7338

“Okay no lie, that is exactly what happened to one of the football players at my old high school. Our school logo was a capital F between two offset parentheses (it was supposed to look like a hurricane, yes it was stupid) and the moron got the tattoo done so that it looked correct in the mirror. He has yet to live it down, and that was ten years ago.” – ArchaicGeek

“Getting your high school logo tattooed really screams ‘I peaked in high school’ But getting it backwards?? That screams ‘I haven’t peaked and probably never will’.” – luckyveggie

He was impulsive.

“One shop I worked at we had a couple come in on the day we did $100 two inch by two inch tattoos, they both were getting these small triceratops outline tattoos behind their ears, nothing too crazy or detailed so maybe about 15 minutes each in the chair at most.”

“The guy is losing his mind, he’s hyperventilating, laughing, jumping up and down and yelling questions at all of us, visually very nervous. He tells one of our apprentices that this is his first tattoo and keeps asking them how bad it hurts over and over again, the owner went into the back and grabbed an ammonia packet, worried the guy would pass out the second needle touched skin.”

“Turns out it was this couples first date, he had told her he was impulsive and she tried to call his bluff and suggested they get matching tattoos. To his credit he got the tattoo and didn’t pass out, paid for them both too!” – Hellcathowl

“They later got married due to a series of escalating dares.” – MC_Hale

“FIRST DATE!? Wow. I kinda respect that though.” – casseroled

“My first tattoo was the outline of three stars behind my ear. I could hear the buzzing and feel the artist fiddling around behind my ear but was anxiously waiting for him to start, thinking that it would feel like a scalpel to my thin skin.”

“Nah, he gave a firm wipe of the ink and said ‘Done!’ I said ‘Bullsh*t’ ? he flew through it so easily that I didn’t believe him. So now with a dozen good sized tattoos later, I’m always wanting another one thanks to how well he did my first.” – harleyqueenzel

The ex’s name.

“Girl comes in to get her ex boyfriends name tattooed as a tramp stamp…. Comes in with friends and proceeds to scream throughout the process of doing the outline and she leaves with a half outline of her ex’s name.” – bobjones136

“… why would anyone tattoo their ex’s name on themselves?” – sixthandelm

“Because now he has to come back!” – Traskk01

The newbs story.

“It’s not the worst, but I love this one. At the expense of my very good client, I generally use this story to help newbs ease in to my chair more comfortably.”

“So it was his first and I’m getting my stencil prepped. He was so nervous, he was basically white. Kept asking if he was good. Yeah he was ok..I guess. Place the stencil on him and ask him to take a look.”

“He looks at his arm and immediately passes out in the chair lol. He’s sliding out of the chair, we get him back up and he comes to. He got over it, eventually and has his sleeve.” – -THE_ENDR-

“I was getting lettering and dude finally got to my spine. He asked me how I was doing. I said a little light headed, but keep going. He said nope we are stopping for 15 minutes. I guess he’s had a bunch of people pass out on him.” – Daggermoth

“I had the same deal. Got the crook of my elbow done. I was feeling real shit but I didn’t want to stop because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to start again.”

“The artist noticed me sweating, getting dizzy, and breathing hard. He handed me a glucose tablet and some water then got me a cool towel until I could handle it again.” – smaugismyhomeboy

He couldn’t make up his mind.

Not a tattoo artist, just heavily tattooed and have a lot of friends who are artists. Allow me to tell you the story of Danny the Dummy.”

“Danny at the time of the story was a 21 year old oil field worker who had more money than sense, he wanted to get an entire sleeve tattoo done but couldn’t decide what he wanted, he would come in for a consult, the artist (my friend) would take everything he said and draw up what he wanted, then he would come back and completely change his mind.”

“That’s not the reason why he’s called Danny the Dummy though, he’s called that because, among other things, he never once could remember the name of the animal he wanted to get. He first asked for a lion ‘pack’ on a mountain with the moon above them and them roaring into it.”

“My artist friend said ‘oh you mean like the end of lion king?’ and Danny said yes. The next time he came in he said the animal was wrong and when he showed the picture it was a wolf pack, so my artist friend drew that.”

“Danny comes back and decides he doesn’t want that, he instead wants an ‘eagle in flight’, so my artist friend draws that, and if you guessed the animal was wrong you’re keeping up, he in fact wanted an owl in flight.”

“After this my artist friend was basically done with Danny, he was going to do this last drawing and if Danny changed his mind again he was going to fire him as a customer and blacklist him in his shop. Well he drew an amazing owl in flight and Danny said he loved it, so finally a date was selected and Danny was going to come in and get it.”

“Well Danny never showed, about half an hour past his appointment time my artist friend calls him and Danny says ‘oh damn man, I’m sorry, I’m out of the country today, I’m in North Dakota’…..the artist is based in Arizona.”

“Danny thought that different states were different countries. Never saw or heard from him again and my friend ended up putting that owl on a coworker of his that loved the drawing.” – amalgamas

“I hope your friend charged him for each drawing. That’s a lot of time and effort. Most artist I’ve been too usually ask for money down to draw up the concept.”

“One, it means you won’t get a no show because they already got money into it. And two, if they no show well you didn’t waste your time drawing the art.” – Metal-Butterfly

“$60/consult.” – amalgamas

Undefeated.

“Not the worst client. But just an unfortunate event. The apprentice at my shop who had only been tattooing for a little under a year was tattooing this girls wrist recently, her first tattoo the word ‘undefeated.’ Gets the tattoo, it goes smoothly, she likes it, walks to the lobby, shows her dad, he likes it.”

“Walks back to get bandaged up, gets bandaged, they walk back to the counter as he’s explaining aftercare she blacks out. Falls back hits her head on a giant painting hanging on the wall (an ed hardy original) the painting falls, glass breaks.”

“He runs over picks her up and is checking the back of her head. Realizes a giant piece of glass had punctured her shoulder/trap. EMT comes, tell her she needs stitches, they end up having to take her to the emergency room where she got 6 stitches.”

“The next week the girl brought him a giant tub of cookies. She wasn’t the worst, but it was an incredibly unfortunate experience for the both of them. His first time having someone pass out and her being ‘defeated.’” – tattoocaleb

“She can claim the tattoo is undefeated. It took her out.” – GloInTheDarkUnicorn

“Hey, she only fainted after leaving the ring. She’s still the champ.” – ActuallySatanAMA

He couldn’t sit still.

“There’s a few different ways you can go with worst. Is worst most reactive? Is worst most picky and unreasonable?”

“I’ve been pretty lucky in the grand scheme of things. My worst most reactive / annoying client was this dude who was very clearly a drug addict.”

“He came in, wanted a simple tribal tattoo on his stomach, I saw sure no problem but he starts haggling me about the price, at first it was $400, then he said no more than $200, we finally settled on $300 after about 20 minutes of back and forth.”

“I get all setup, we start the tattoo, within a minute he says he needs to stand up, that’s he’s in too much pain and needs to walk around. He walks around for about 2 or 3 minutes, then lays back down, gets tattooed for another couple minutes and then same thing.”

“He does this constantly throughout the entire tattoo. During this time he was constantly scratching his head, twitching all over and complaining loudly.”

“But the worst part wasn’t the fact that this 2 hour tattoo turned into almost 4 hours. The worst was that he kept going out for smoke breaks, but kept only taking 2 or 3 puffs, putting the cherry out and then putting the smoke back in his pocket.”

“So all I could smell the entire time was musty cigs, it was fucking disgusting. (The cigarettes smelled old, if you’ve ever smelled old cigs you know what I’m talking about. He also kept putting it in the pocket that was right beside my face).” – CircleK-Choccy-Milk

“No chance I’m haggling with somebody who’s about to permanently mark my body.” – Barbarossa7070

The loudest appointment.

“A friend who had never had a tattoo before wanted one on her ankle and was adamant about that. I told her several times that the ankle is a very not fun location, and asked her if maybe she’d prefer the shoulder instead.”

“She insisted on the ankle. Okay then. The moment the needle touched her she hollered. You sure you want to keep going I asked?”

“She said yes. That was the loudest appointment I ever had but to her credit she made it through.” – Odeiminmukwa

The tears just kept coming.

“Oh wow, reading this thread is bringing up some repressed client memories. My worst one by far, though, was about five years ago when I was apprenticing in a college town.”

“This girl came in with her boyfriend for a traditional butterfly above her elbow, I was still super new so it took me way longer than it should have (maybe 2hrs). I lay her down on her stomach with her arm bent at her side—this is relevant later.”

“Anyway, we start tattooing and within maybe 10 mins she starts getting a string of texts from her freshman friends, telling her they’re essentially ousting her from their group and they don’t want her to contact them again.”

“Super mean stuff, obviously she’s upset. As she’s relating all this to her BF, she starts crying, then full on sobbing. I asked her if she wanted to stop, but she insisted on me continuing, and I felt too awkward to counter her.”

“She continued to sob on and off for probably another hour, while I just kept plugging away at this dumb little tattoo. At this point she had cried so much that her tears had gathered where her arm was pressed against the massage table and had started to spill over into my lap.”

“So I’m feeling uncomfortable as hell, and now also damp. THEN, as I’m within 30 mins or so of finishing, she begins whimpering, then moaning…loudly. At one point she tells the BF ‘this is more intense than anal’ and I wanted to die.”

“As soon as I finished and checked her out, my coworkers (who had all been waiting on me to close) were like ‘what the actual f*ck was going on, and why did you keep going??’ But in the moment, all I could think was to finish the tattoo asap.”

“To her credit, she came back (a year later!) and told me she had been too embarrassed to come back but loved the butterfly and wanted another tattoo from me. Her second session was pleasant and without incident.” – More-Presentation-52

These stories are definitely unique.

Hopefully, we’re able to learn from these professionals tales so we can be better first timers.

And remember to treat your artists well when they’re putting something permanent on your body.

People Break Down The Most Savage Backhanded Compliments They’ve Ever Heard

We are, to our knowledge, the only species on earth that uses complex language and as such the only species on the planet that uses insults.

Can’t really go around just insulting everyone who gets on our nerves though, so we developed a work-around that saves face while also taunting someone else.

According to Idioms.online people have been using backhanded (or left-handed) compliments since the late 1800’s.

Good to know we’re a consistent species.

Some people just want to use a compliment to get past the defenses we naturally erect around ourselves. Others just want to be mean.

Of course, not every suspect compliment comes from a negative place—often it’s just a matter of poor word choice or bad timing.

Complimenting someone’s hair just after they failed to get it the way they wanted it can hit a bad nerve real fast. No, we don’t speak from experience, why would you think that?

There are times, though, when a compliment working double-duty as an insult is the only way to get someone’s attention—to call attention to poor behavior for example.

Redditor cybersans wanted to see the best ones, so he asked Reddit:

“What’s a compliment but an insult at the same time?”

Age comes for us all?

“You must have been beautiful when you were young” ~905marianne

“You look good for your age.” ~ superspud0408

Judging people by their looks is always complimentary, right?

“You’re actually not as dumb as you might appear” ~ TrumpHairedHarambe

“You’re beautiful in your own way.” ~ CIoud_Wolf

“You’re much prettier in person.” ~ plutoforprez

And…

“You move well for someone of your size. ~ ReesieVA

“You don’t sweat much for a fat lass.” ~ Novack_and_good

Also…

“Wow you’re so brave going out in public like that! I would’t be able to do that if Iooked like that, I am not strong like you!” ~ oursider

Not wrong.

“You clearly don’t care about what the haters say” ~ Helpful-Meringue-735

“A girl I used to work with looked at me one day and said, ‘I love how you’re not embarrassed by your laugh’.” ~ Redditor

Timing is everything.

“This happened to me! I’m very slim.”

“One day I was about to hook up with a guy and we were getting undressed when he started giving me tips on what I should eat to put on weight.”

“When he saw my reaction, he tried to dig himself out of the hole by saying ‘don’t worry, I like you for your personality’.”

“He was so surprised when I put my clothes back on and asked him to leave!”

“He later texted me he was just trying to be nice and wanted to give me advice about my diet because he works as a fitness trainer and knows a lot about nutrition ?.”

“He also said I was too sensitive ?” ~ Economy-Vanilla-967

Nothing beats the south for polite insults.

” ‘Bless your heart’.”

“The ultimate Southern compliment and insult in one package.”~ GALINDO_Karl1

There’s nothing wrong with comfort.

“Your clothes look comfortable.” ~ observantpariah

Some people got into the meaning behind the “compliment.” 

I just got a Master’s degree in Physics.”

“I wear makeup when I go out and dress cute girly.”

“A lot of people tell me that they couldn’t believe I was doing physics. ‘Oh, you’ve got beauty and brains’ They basically mean two things:”

“People who do STEM subjects are supposed to look bland and unattractive.”

“They assumed I must be dumb just because I look girly/feminine.”

“Ugh!” ~sriracha_97

Others were confused. 

“ ‘You look so pretty for a lesbian!’ ”

“The f*ck is that supposed to mean?“~introverted_lesbian

Sometimes, it’s not the words but the context.

“‘Ohh, you’re/she’s/he’s very pretty’ when someone is doing/saying something stupid” ~ Impenetrabletoad

Fashion is the highest form of bravery.

“You’re brave for wearing that.” ~ Big-Ambitions-8258

What would a compliment be without casual racism?

” ‘you’re pretty for a black girl’ “ ~ chivalrousninjaz

I guess she’s supposed to say thank you?

“You know, you aren’t the type of girl I usually go for”~ Kritisk_

“Wow, you really clean up nice.” ~ cactusbishh

Subverting expectations often leads to some poor word choices. 

“Lol, this reminds me of a conversation with a coworker I once had.”

“He’s a real muscle-head and is always hitting the gym, whereas I’m the opposite.”

“I’m average height and was just under 300lbs(at that time).”

“Somehow we got to talking about weight, can’t remember what his was but he was shocked at mine!”

“His words after hearing I was close to 300lbs….”B*llsh*t! I’ve never seen a 300 pound person move like that!”. I couldn’t help but laugh.”

“The thing is, he’d seen me casually hop off 4-5 foot high loading decks with ease.”

“And I never had much issues keeping up with him.”

“Since then I’ve started working on my weight (totally unrelated to this exchange) and have lost about 50 lbs. Slow progress, but progress nonetheless.” ~ RedBeardedMex

It would’ve been fine if they’d just stopped talking.

“An old ‘friend’ once said to me ‘your hair looks nice…for once’ “

“I cut her out a few months later for being a shitty person” ~ theginger_buffalo

“You’re really cool. Not at all how I thought you’d be when I first met you.” ~ leese216

Several Redditors even provided a handy template.

“Anything that goes by the standard:”

“You are [insert compliment] but you are also [insert insult]. Should do the trick” ~ YikesMaAssFellOff

“You’re *insert a compliment* for a *insert race*” ~ BastardousHuman

“Phrases like ‘with all due respect’.” ~ Prestigious_Skill_20

Backhanded compliments are often a way for people to save face while also putting another person down.

Of course, the compliment isn’t always meant as a sly insult, sometimes the words just come out wrong, or the meaning gets lost along the way.

Always be aware of what you’re saying to the people you care about, but also be mindful of the way in which you say it.

Compliments can do wonders for someone’s self-image or as a way to pick up their day – but a misspoken word or some hesitation in the wrong place can do just as much damage.

A turn of a phrase can move someone to excitement or dash their hopes.

The proper phrasing can ease someone’s mind or cause them to panic.