Month: May 2021

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What Red Flag Do You Regret Ignoring Early in a Relationship? Women Shared Their Stories.

When you’re falling for someone or starting a new relationship, sometimes you ignore stuff.

You ignore things that you wouldn’t necessarily tolerate because you want it to work out so much…and sometimes that can come back to bite you in a major way.

Women, what red flags do you regret overlooking in the early days of a relationship?

AskReddit users shared their thoughts.

1. Not good.

“The terrible s**.

Obviously in the beginning you’re still working things out but if it’s still terrible after a few months despite trying your hardest to show them what you enjoy then don’t pretend it’s not a big deal when s** is a very important aspect of a healthy relationship.

I pretended it was no biggie, because hey its just s** and now I’m married and our bedroom is completely dead.”

2. Can’t have that.

“He made me feel self conscious about silly things like singing badly in the car.

We were married for 16 years before I realized I’d changed too much for him and had lost who I really am as a person. I couldn’t be silly or goofy, and he thought I was stupid for liking to get little gifts for people when I’d see something that made me think of them.

After our divorce, I moved halfway across the country (TX to CA) to work on myself away from the same places I’ve always lived. I feel like me again and felt good about moving back to TX because of the healthier place I’m in now.

Along the way, I realized I was too young and inexperienced in the realm of relationships when I got married and gave up too much of myself. Never again.”

3. Foreshadowing.

“Him saying I was a “real woman” and “different/better than his exes”.

Those comments made me feel good at the time, but then I realized it was his way of saying that actually no woman was good enough for him.”

4. Messed up.

“Unable to deal with negative emotions, being desperate to avoid them at all cost.

This led to me neglecting my own needs, because he’d take it as personal criticism if I told him I needed something he didn’t already give me.

Equating s** with love.”

5. Sketchy.

“He didn’t like me telling mutual friends about our relationship because he was a private person.

Lots of other red flags but this was a big one.

Turned out he was living a double life but it took me 2 years and a mental breakdown to figure that out.”

6. Never a good thing.

“Anger issues/”having a temper”/explosive outbursts of anger when things didn’t go his way/lashing out physically and verbally when upset.

Just because it hasn’t been directed at you yet, doesn’t mean you are actually safe.”

7. Sums it up.

“If the friends he hangs out with the most are a**holes, he’s an a**hole too.

He’s just acting differently because you’re around.”

8. Disaster area.

“The absolute state of his house.

He blamed it on his ex and being too small and swore it wouldn’t be the same once we moved in together.

Guess what?”

9. Only got worse.

“In my abusive relationship: when he yelled at me when he found out I was a feminist.

He accused me about lying about who I was by not telling him.

I thought it was pretty obvious from having even one conversation with me and didn’t feel the need to say “I’m a feminist”. It only got worse from there.”

10. Boozin’.

“The amount of alcohol.

We were young, so everyone was still in that stage of going out and partying a lot, me included, so I didn’t think much of it.

But he seemed to do it just a little more than everyone else.”

11. All about image.

“He was an appearance guy. He wanted to appear so perfect in his social circle.

In fact, our first fight was because he invited his 2 friends to our night out without my consent (no problem) but those guys acted as if I did not exist. Then I got bored and I wanted to leave after like an hour, he took me home but he sulked like a baby!

Months to come, he would take me out and treat me like a queen in front of his friends while at home we were fighting almost every week. I got tired of the duplicity and had to finally leave him.

But if I had known, I would have left after that first fight.”

12. Groomed.

“He was 12 years older than me and we began talking as “friends” when I was 15 years old.

Looking back i think i was groomed but hey, he’s not in my life anymore so what does it matter?”

13. The jealous type.

“Extreme jealousy.

He was very romantic and charming at first, then started accusing me of infidelity and flirting with other man. Once he accompanied me to the vet because my dog was in an accident and needed surgery.

He accused me of flirting with the vet, even though the vet and I were discussing my dog’s care. He has a meltdown over it later in the evening. That is only one example. Fast forward a couple of months…I find out he was still married and I was “the other woman”. Ew.”

Do you remember some red flags you overlooked in relationships?

If so, tell us about them in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post What Red Flag Do You Regret Ignoring Early in a Relationship? Women Shared Their Stories. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Person Got Satisfying Revenge on a Racist Karen and Got Her Business Closed Down

Racism is one of the topics at the forefront of the minds of many these days, and rightfully so. Everyone needs to have a plan for what they’re going to do if and when they find themself staring it in the face.

This person had to enact that plan after a racist “Karen” called the cops on her young cousin, and I have to say, I think she knocked it out of the park.

The cousin had always dreamed of starting a salon and managed to do just that, with family helping out in all kinds of roles and everyone taking ownership of the fledgling business.

My cousin (23,F) recently opened up her own salon. From a young age, she taught herself how to thread/wax eyebrows and developed an interest in makeup and hair. Everyone in our extended family would go to her before events and on a monthly basis for their threading, waxing, hair and makeup needs. In 2020, she had a full-time job (non-salon related) but decided to renovate the basement of her home to create a small salon space.

She now spends her free time taking clients in her at-home salon and there’s nothing but great reviews! Her sister helped with the renovations and now helps her with marketing the business (social media, community pages) and I help with the finances (budgeting, price-setting). We all support her and are really proud of her! The salon is our baby.

Covid took a toll on the business, like it has on most things, but they were managing to keep forging ahead with precautions.

We’re now in the middle of a pandemic and this greatly affected her salon business. As a result, she implemented safety measures and our small team made sure to keep up with covid regulations in our city. This included having one customer inside at a time, doing temperature checks, making masks/face shields and gloves mandatory, wiping down the salon after each client…etc. Also, when our city was in lockdown, the salon was closed as it is not an essential service.

Once their city went into lockdown the salon was forced to close temporarily, making sure clients knew through Facebook, etc.

There was a comment on an old post offering a deal, from when the salon was allowed to be open with precautions, that she couldn’t believe her salon had to be closed and this one didn’t – but no one saw it right away.

Our city is once again in lockdown since the end of December to the end of January. The salon has been closed since the lockdown began. The salon’s social media pages had been updated to let the current clientele know that the salon is closed.

Now comes the Karen. Karen sees a community post from OCTOBER detailing a discount that the salon was having on a certain package we offer. She comments on the post saying that she can’t believe the salon is open in the middle of a lockdown when her salon has to be closed. This is important for later. Karen fails to notice that this post was made in October, when salons were allowed to operate as long as they followed safety regulations.

Karen doesn’t bother checking more recent posts indicating that the salon was closed. My cousin doesn’t see her reply at this time.

Then, the police showed up, wanting to see the cousin.

She wasn’t home and so she missed them (twice) but they left a card and asked her to call them back.

The next day, two police officers show up at my cousin’s door while she’s at a doctor’s appointment. The officers ask for my cousin and my aunt lets them know that she’s not home right now. My aunt does not speak English very well and lets the officers know that she would call my cousin and ask her to come home. Maybe the officers didn’t believe her but they insisted on coming inside the home.

My aunt had already called my cousin as she was worried. My cousin asked what it was about, but my aunt didn’t know. My cousin then asked if they had a warrant for anything. When she found out they didn’t, she told her mom not to let them come inside and that she would be there in about 20 minutes. My cousin began driving home when my aunt called her to let her know that they simply left. Hearing this my cousin was less worried and decided to go grocery shopping as planned before heading home.

Turns out, the officers came back half an hour later and once again demanded to see my cousin. My aunt called my cousin again and asked her to come home but in the 20 minutes she took to come home, the officers were gone. They had left a card and asked her to call back.

When she did they informed her the business had been reported for operating during quarantine. She explained she hasn’t been seeing clients and has been following all of the rules, suggested that if they were getting their information from Facebook they should double check the dates on the posts, and figured that was the end of it.

My cousin managed to get a hold of the officers and was told that someone had reported her business. They claimed that she was operating during the lockdown and they had proof. My cousin knew this wasn’t true as the salon had been closed for quite a while.

By now, my cousin had seen the comment from earlier and mentioned that she knew exactly what their so called proof was but the post in question was from October. My cousin was very upset as this post was not even close to being actual evidence of her operating now, in January. She was also very upset that they insisted on coming inside the house with no cause or warrant when they could clearly see that my aunt does not understand the language very well.

At the end of the conversation, the police officer apologized to my cousin and we thought it was the end of it.

Then, the Karen who made the comment called, pretending to be a customer.

You must be wondering how we know that Karen was the one who called the cops. Well, she told us! The next day, my cousin received a message she realized was from the woman who commented on the post. Karen decided to pretend like she’s a customer.

Karen: Can I book an appointment?

My cousin: Hey love, we are currently closed due to the lockdown. Once the lockdown is over, we will be more than happy to book you in.

Karen: Oh my gf was there yesterday, my apologies

My cousin: You must have gotten the date wrong. The salon is not taking clients until the lockdown is over. Thank you.

Karen: Np but I didn’t get the date wrong lol I also know the police came due to you being open. Take care

My cousin: I’m not going to sit here and entertain your boring life. Maybe for a change you can find another hobby rather than spreading lies and wasting people’s time, including the police’s time. Or even better, find an actual job. Have a good night.

Karen: I own my own spa that’s closed as should yours be. My mom is the one who called the cops. You are not entertaining me at all. Go back to your own country instead of fucking with ours.

My cousin decided to block her at this point. My cousin was happy this was all over. Her sister and I were still outraged at the racist comment and how someone could make up lies about a small business that led to the cops terrifying my aunt. When my cousin told me about Karen, the fact that she had her own spa really stood out. I did some digging.

It turns out she made a mistake, though, because not everyone is willing to let comments like that go – as they shouldn’t.

urns out Karen runs her own spa out of her house. Doing some more snooping, I found reviews from her clients on her business page that were posted on days that the city was under lockdown. The reviews could be from clients who received services before the lockdown and only now had a chance to write a review. To be sure, I found Karen’s Instagram page.

I decided to use her own trick against her! I created a new account with a generic name and followed her page so she couldn’t see that I was related to my cousin. I then messaged her to ask about the prices for her services.

Me: Hey, I love your pics! I was wondering how much you charge.

Karen: Hey girl, thank you so much! What service are you after?

Me: I’m really interested in the BB glow facial.

Karen: That’s awesome. My biggest seller for sure. Normally it’s 125 but it’s on B.O.G.O (buy one, get one) so you pay for one session and get 2!

Me: That’s such a great deal compared to others! When is your next available date?

Karen: Where are you located? I can’t have people come to me in lockdown but I travel to my clients.

Head’s up, going to people’s houses was still not allowed during their lockdown rules, so she totally told on herself.

And then OP told on her, because tit for tat.

aren was not operating from her home location due to lockdown restrictions but was traveling to her clients’ homes which is still against regulations! I then made up a lie about my home not having adequate space and asked for her address so we could meet up at my friend’s place somewhere between her and I’s locations. She foolishly told me her address.

During this time, I also tried joining other community groups that she was a part of. In one particular group, people in the community were promoting their small businesses. She had recently made a post about discounts on her services for the month of January! I immediately went online and submitted a report about her business still operating including screenshots, her address, full name…etc.

The police checked it out and fined her, and since it turned out to be a second (or perhaps third) offense the penalties were stiff, and her business was shut down.

She was angry, made threats, etc, but I mean…meddlesome racists get what they get, don’t you think?

A few days passed by and I had forgotten to check up on it as I was busy with life again. I saw the incident report number on a sticky note I had on my desk and decided to check in. Apparently, this was not Karen’s first offence! Karen had already been fined $750 for having a client in her home during the first lockdown in my city. After being fined, she decided to change her business model and go to the client’s home instead. Now, she was fined $10,000!

I was still following her on Instagram so I decided to check it out. She had gone on a rant about how she was going to do very bad things to the person who reported her. She also mentioned that she was no longer allowed to run her business! I’m not sure what type of ban the regional police put on her but I immediately deleted the account and exited the groups I had joined earlier. At the end of the day, Karen got was she deserved and I fulfilled my dream of pretending to be Sherlock Holmes.

Naturally, reddit had A LOT to say about this story. And all of it was supportive.

Image Credit: Reddit

Because Racist Karens are gonna do what they do…

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And some people really gave it to the cops.

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And hey, some business tips!

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Did this person go too far? Should they have been a bit more understanding in the times of Covid, one small business owner to another?

Drop your thoughts on the matter down in the comments!

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Family Members Kept Complaining About What She Cooked, So This Teenager Went On Strike. Was She an A-Hole?

The past year has seen a lot of us pick up new responsibilities around the house, most of which none of us asked for or wanted. You might not realize this goes for teenaged kids, too, who are certainly old enough to pitch in, but who are also still just children at the end of the day.

This 17yo girl is the oldest of 5, which probably means she’s had a good amount of responsibilities for years, but as her parents continued to work during the pandemic and she and her 4 siblings were home, the job of fixing dinner every night has fallen to her.

I’m (17f) the oldest of five. Ever since Covid my parents have left me in charge at home, and have me cooking dinner most nights (6/7 to be exact).

My siblings and I are going to school virtually so we’re in the house together all day. Although they’re going out to friends more now.

She’s learned the hard way that kids are ungrateful d%cks when it comes to food you’ve prepared, but it also sounds like her parents are annoying about not liking what she’s fixed, too.

There were always complaints about the food I was cooking (don’t want pasta, no rice, why more chicken, used up too many groceries for one dish). B

ut lately it has been bugging me more. I made pizza one night. I did a regular pizza because I was tired of complaints about the choices I was making.

But even that wasn’t good enough.

Things came to a head the night EVERYONE complained about good ol’ pizza.

My siblings all wanted more cheese and said it was shitty (siblings are 15m, 14m, 12f, 10f).

My dad wanted pineapple and ham on his pizza. My mom said pizza wasn’t what she wanted to come home to on a Wednesday afternoon.

The next night she fixed her own food, cleaned up the mess, and was then berated by her sibs and parents for leaving them in the lurch.

I said nothing. I didn’t even show I was frustrated. But the next day I didn’t make them anything. I made myself some spicy chicken noodles. Had it all cleaned up and everything before anyone got home and then everyone was home and they were hungry and complaining and then my parents exploded because they said I was being petty and rude and they threatened to ground me because I didn’t do all my chores.

I told them they should have thought about that before shitting all over everything and I was doing more than enough and why ground me when I never leave the house anyway, I’m basically a live in nanny at this point and I get treated worse than they would treat a paid nanny.

They called her petty and unthinking and even mean, but…was she?

They said it was a wrong move to let them go without food. Especially my siblings.

I guess I can see why that would be an AH move but honestly they should be more appreciative too.

AITA?

Reddit is about to weigh in, but personally, I’m ready to give this chick a high five.

Some good points here, as no one she’s cooking for is a baby.

Image Credit: Reddit

There are some expectations that need to change.

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The parents have an imbalance of expectations, and that should absolutely change.

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It’s time she stood up for herself.

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100. In this day and age of microwaves, freezers, and DoorDash, her actions weren’t forcing anyone to go hungry.

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I’m with this girl, 100%. Probably, because of her age, she could have tried sitting down with her parents first and listing her very reasonable grievances, but she held out longer than I would have.

What do you think? Tell us in the comments!

The post Family Members Kept Complaining About What She Cooked, So This Teenager Went On Strike. Was She an A-Hole? appeared first on UberFacts.

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Should You Let Someone Else’s Phobia Dictate How You Live in Your Own House?

Relationships can be hard to navigate for everyone, but when it comes to family, well – complicated sometimes doesn’t seem to cover it. We want to be gracious and loving, but sometimes people ask us to do that at the expense of our own comfort, so…what then?

This woman and her boyfriend are super into snakes and other reptiles, and they own one snake that OP refers to as their “baby.”

The problem? OP’s sister is deathly afraid of snakes. Thus far, they have mitigated this by either going to the sister’s house to visit or having a family member who loves snakes taking their “baby” for the day.

My (22M) sister (17F) is afraid of snakes, she hates them, can’t be near them. my bf (21M) is the opposite, he loves them, and we actually have one (2F).

Because of this we normally go see her or if she comes to our place my bf’s sister will take our girl for the day.

Things went wonky, though, when the sister came over for a pool party with some other family members. The snake was out of the house, but she took issue with the boyfriend’s tattoo of a snake.

So, we have a pool, and it’s been really hot where we live so we invited my sister and my parent round.

Like normal my bf’s sister came and took our snake. when they arrived everything was fine until we got into the pool.

My bf has a tattoo of a snake, it’s a blacked-out silhouette that wraps around both of his arms and his back.

She demanded he put on a shirt. DEMANDED.

When my sister saw it she freaked out and told me to tell him to cover it. (she knew about his tattoo, she just expected him to cover it, which he can’t do without putting on a long sleeve t-shirt) I told her no.

She then went over to him and asked him to leave because he knows about her fear.

OP said that if she was bothered she should leave, because this was her boyfriend’s house and he shouldn’t be made uncomfortable in his own skin.

This annoyed me and I told her that if she has an issue with it she should leave, this is his house, not hers.

She got upset and just sat inside the whole time. when they left my mom told me that I was rude to my sister and we knew about her fear and that we ruined her day.

Now I’m starting to think that I could have handled the situation better.

So AITA?

Was she wrong? Should they be more considerate of a bad phobia?

Reddit has some thoughts!

One of them is that the sister’s phobia isn’t their issue, it’s hers.

Image Credit: Reddit

The sister would also be happier if she was able to get some help, yeah?

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And yeah, she could do some mitigating of her own issues instead of expecting other people to accommodate her.

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The sister definitely needs to take some responsibility.

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She doesn’t have to be rational about the snakes, but she does have to be rational about her reactions to humans.

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This girl was way out of line, I think.

What’s your opinion? Drop it on us in the comments!

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Are Females Wrong for Not Quitting Their Careers to Stay Home With Their Kids if They Can Afford To?

Whether or not to stay home with children is an easy decision sometimes. It could be that one of the parents wants to stay home, to manage the household and the children, while the other party works for a paycheck outside the home.

It could be that both parents have always worked, and they can’t really afford to drop to one paycheck, or they don’t make enough to cover daycare, etc – it’s a financial decision, and no one really questions those, either.

Moms tend to get judged, though, when they have the option to stay home with their kids but choose to continue their careers or studies instead – and that’s exactly the scenario that has this mother second guessing her choices.

Quick backstory: the pregnancy was a surprise and one they didn’t find out about until quite a ways into it, for very legitimate reasons.

Long backstory short: I’ve been with my partner for 5 years, this was an unplanned pregnancy and I only found out I was pregnant a month ago(I’m now 7 months pregnant ?), I was on birth control and actually had 2 pregnancy tests come back negative(one was too early in the pregnancy and the other was because of the hook effect).

As an added bonus my partner and I never expected to be able to have kids naturally as he had cancer a couple of years ago and during treatment he collected and stored sperm that he was told were very poor quality plus I have a big family history or cervical cancer and was supposed to have surgery to remove 2 precancerous lesions a week ago and prep for that surgery was how I found out I was pregnant.

They are coming around to being ok with the thought of becoming parents, and as her partner makes good money, she’s even agreed to quitting her part-time job to help care for him when he arrives.

Now. Obviously it’s way to late for an abortion and my partner grew up in the foster/adoption system and got treated like shit so that’s not an option either. We’ve agreed to raise the baby together but over the last couple of days he’s repeatedly brought up how I should quit my job and study so I can focus on the baby when he arrives.

In theory this would be fine, my partner makes enough money to support us and my part time job pays absolute shit so I had initially agreed to drop my job but not my study.

That said, OP is in the middle of defending her Master’s thesis, and had plans to continue directly into a PhD program when she finished.

She had many very good reasons for not wanting to quit for a couple of years and then pick it back up.

I’m in the middle of writing my masters thesis is Bioscience and if I put it down for a couple of years the likelihood is that my contacts would no longer be available for research work.

Not to mention that I was planning on starting my PhD straight after I finish as it will be a direct extension of my masters study and I already have conditional funding for my research that I will lose if I put the project on hold.

It’s really important to her to finish.

Which is really all she should have had to say, don’t you think?

My study is really important to me and I feel like by giving up my job I’m losing a bit of my independence so I don’t want to lose this too. We’ve now had several huge fights because my partner says I’ll be neglecting the baby in favor of my research which I have no intention of doing. Hes chalking up my resistance to “baby hormones” and I want to check that I’m not TA here?

I think so, but let’s see what Reddit has to say!

The top comment honestly says it all, and as a mom, I wish I could shout it from the rooftops.

Image Credit: Reddit

Plenty of people think her partner needs to shape up, honestly.

Image Credit: Reddit

A few folks wondered if they shouldn’t reconsider the adoption option.

Image Credit: Reddit

She needs to keep her eyes wide open going forward.

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This whole situation smacks of the patriarchy and we don’t like it.

Image Credit: Reddit

No one would argue that parenthood doesn’t require sacrifice, but it doesn’t require sacrifice from just one party, but every party.

What are your thoughts here? Share them with us in the comments!

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People Talk About Outdated Advice That Is No Longer Applicable Today

It’s interesting how quickly things become outdated.

It seems like we’re moving at warp speed and, to be honest, it can be a little difficult to keep up. Especially when it comes to trying to give people advice.

So what advice is now outdated and doesn’t apply to folks anymore?

Here’s what folks on AskReddit had to say.

1. Are you on the phone?

“If you want to use the internet, make sure no one is using the landline.”

2. Not these days.

“Show up at the office with a resume and don’t leave until you get an interview..”

3. Uh uh.

“To pay for college, just work part time at a restaurant waiting tables!

When my dad was in college in the 1970s, he paid for his tuition, expenses, car, and spending money for the entire year with a summer job at the meat packing plant that my grandpa got him.”

4. Can’t wait around for it.

“When people say “Just be patient and love will find a way” was said in a time when people were outside a lot more.

Nowadays someone can go to work and go home and sit at their computer every day for years without ever being even close to finding someone.

I think nowadays you have to go out of your way to find someone. Or at the very least go out of your bubble and be social.”

5. Might be the problem.

“If the baby won’t stop crying check to make sure the diaper pin is not sticking him.”

6. Now it’s history!

“You need to learn to write in cursive or nobody will take you seriously and you won’t get good grades on your assignments in college.

By 2010 when I went to college, virtually all of my assignments, including most tests, were digital, and even the few handwritten exams allowed regular print.”

7. Interesting.

“My Grandma: “Don’t drink water after eating fruit or you’ll get sick”

Apparently this comes from a time when people drank from wells. The sugar from the fruit would allow bacteria from the water to ferment in the stomach.

Not a problem with modern water supplies.”

8. Gramps was wrong.

“Grandpas are always like “I pestered her and followed her around for months and months even though she told me to go away until she finally went out with me, and we’ve been married 50 years this month”

Yeah, don’t do that.”

9. Ouch.

“I remember my teachers telling me “don’t study these new trendy subjects at university like media, video editing, tech etc. You should focus on traditional subjects like literature, History, and so on”.

15 years after graduating with my BA and MA in English lit, I now work minimum wage in a shop.”

10. It’s me again!

“If you want to show a company how interested you are in a position, keep checking back.

Don’t let them forget you.”

11. Times have changed.

“After I graduated with a degree in computer science, my 75 year old aunt told me to get a job at a factory sweeping the floor and work my way up to management.

I just said okay instead of explaining to her that it hasn’t worked that way since 1970.”

12. Bad behavior.

“Given to young girls: ‘that boy is being mean to you because he has a crush on you.’

Nope.

That boy is just being a d**khead and that behavior is not a good thing.”

13. You better eat all of it!

“Finish your plate.

I just teach my kids to stop eating when they feel enough.

No need to stuff their faces with more food just because of whatever.”

Now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, tell us what advice you think is outdated these days?

Thanks in advance!

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