Month: May 2021

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Posts That Sum Up the Pain of Trying to Keep Fit With Kids

It’s not a secret that the majority of women gain a bit of weight during pregnancy, but there is a bit of a myth that the “baby weight” is something that simple to lose – or, if not simple, that it’s a priority.

The truth, at least for me, was that a year (or two) passed before I even had time to shower and change clothes on a regular basis, never mind consider my health and wellness.

Honestly, all parents – not just mothers – can struggle with finding the time to spend on themselves in those early months and years. Between diets of foods that can be grabbed and snarfed on the go and zero time to get to a gym, fitness is often something that makes us laugh.

These 13 posts sum up what it’s like to try to keep fit while raising young kids, and they really hit the nail on the head.

13. You could make a fortune on this.

I would definitely buy it.

12. That’ll burn quite a few calories.

Especially if you add bending to pick up the LEGO you step on.

11. I’m not sure this burns calories.

But it is a sport.

10. Naked time after baths.

That’s a protip right there.

9. It’s a delicate balance we keep.

And sure, sometimes it’s all in our minds.

8. There are very few reasons to run.

This is definitely a good one.

7. I’d say it counts.

That’s the official judge’s ruling.

6. There’s no reason to go to the gym otherwise.

You can’t do anything useful with kids running around, I swear.

5. I never leave the house not in a sweat.

It’s a whole process.

4. That sounds about right.

I bet the kids laughed and laughed, too.

3. No point in pretending we’re something we’re not.

That’s a lesson for the kids.

2. Write a note ahead of time.

That means you can just split.

1. We can only focus on one thing at time.

And that’s on a good day.

I feel these in my bones, I swear.

If you’ve got young kids and manage to have some time to exercise every week, share your tips and tricks with us in the comments!

The post Posts That Sum Up the Pain of Trying to Keep Fit With Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

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Should Kids Be Banned From Restaurants Until They’re Old Enough to Sit Still?

Going out to eat with young children is honestly more of a hassle than it’s usually worth, if you ask this mom of two preschoolers. You can’t enjoy your meal because you’re dealing with entertaining kids, or cutting up food, or you’re getting up to take one to the bathroom or whatever.

It’s not that I have an issue taking care of my kids, but if I’m going to pay extra to have a nice meal served to me, I would like to, you know. Enjoy it.

That said, my making the decision to do takeout until my kids are more self-sufficient and someone telling me I have to are two different things – but the latter is exactly what this unpopular opinion suggests should be the norm.

If you’re curious how many agree (or disagree), these 17 Redditors are sharing their thoughts.

17. There’s definitely a sliding scale.

Seems like a super popular opinion.

If a kid is screaming and crying we just get our food put in boxes and leave

We dont let the kids be little crazy a$ses at the table or leave their seats

But if a toddler forgets and talks or laughs too loud every once in awhile or squeals every now and then people can deal with it, as long as they are behaving well in general.

16. This is exactly me.

Once my kids hit about the age of about 18 months we said goodbye to dining in til they were about 4 or 5. It just isn’t very relaxing. We would save it for date nights or when either my husband or I went out separately with friends.

I don’t get mad if I see other parents out with their kids. That’s their choice. Good for them. For me personally, just a better experience when the kids are a bit older!

15. Servers have choices, too.

This is why I’ve always worked in fine dining restaurants in large expensive cities whenever possible.

There aren’t as many families living in cities like NY or SF, and the price tag for a night out is often a deterrent for families with small children. Not saying people with children don’t have cash to burn, but they are usually budgeting for kid stuff during those years. Plus there isn’t ever a kids menu, at places like that, and most parents don’t want to drop that much money on food their kid might not even eat.

We would occasionally get children during Nutcracker season at this one spot I worked, but they were all well behaved, and passed the screaming toddler age- because you don’t take kids that young to the Ballet and thus we never had them in for pre show dinner.

14. There could be kid hours.

My son was always very good in restaurants. However, we’d always go at times when there was hardly anyone else there to cause minimum disruption if there was ever an issue.

I don’t think there ever was, though.

13. How else can we teach them how to behave?

Can’t believe this is unpopular. But the only way to teach them is to take them out. You have to be willing to walk out AS SOON AS the get antsy and won’t settle right back down.

We did this with triplets-only had to walk out a couple times with my triplets. One of us took kids to car other got food to go. Went home and served the kids sandwiches (only the one or ones who caused the issue) while we ate the nice dinner. This cured them right away.

It isn’t hard but parents have to be willing to stand firm.

12. Parents have to do their part.

We took my nephew when he was very little but he was also well-behaved. Towards the end of the meal he would sometimes get restless so I’d either pick him up and walk around the restaurant or take him outside.

If he wanted to walk I would hold his hand and walk him around inside and out until the others were ready to go. He never screamed or threw fits in restaurants.

Maybe he was exceptionally good but it really was not that hard to be attentive to his needs and not be disruptive to others.

11. We want to see some effort.

I’m in the boat of as long as the parents are making an effort to keep the kid under control, then I’m fine. Kids will be kids and as long as the parents aren’t just letting them run wild, then I understand.

10. Kids will be kids.

I agree, it’s up to the parents. We deserve to go out and eat with our kids if we want to, but if not, that’s fine too.

Kids can be obnoxious but it doesn’t mean they don’t deserve nice things like going out to eat at a special place with their family.

9. As long as they stay in their seats.

Talking isn’t a problem, kids talk, they’re loud, sometimes little ones squeal when they are happy…

But getting out of their seat and running around, climbing over or under booths, having tantrums and loud enough that the cooks in the back can hear them over the sound of the dishes and hoods…

That sh%t shouldn’t be happening anywhere.

8. Now there’s an idea.

Restaurants use to have smoking and non-smoking sections; they’ve needed kids and non-kids section for years.

Unless it’s not a kid friendly restaurant. I think the worst situation I ever had involving kids, was a parent who let her two kids take all the salt and pepper shakers off the table, and throw them into the fireplace… while the other kid was climbing on bar stools and sticking his hand into the olives…

The mother only spoke mandarin and we had a very difficult time getting them to leave! They weren’t even dining in, they brought outside food and just sat themselves.. was a whole debacle.

7. I think we can all agree this is wrong.

I went to a literal pub once and someone brought two screaming toddlers on Friday night with about 100 adults downing beers and shots.

Went to an expensive Hibachi grill and someone brought their baby who was also promptly frightened into screaming by the fire. So yeah…. Agree 100%

6. Some people ruin it for the rest of us.

I had a kid, not even a toddler, probably 4 or 5, standing a table and throw crayons at me. The parent just ignored it and kept talking to me. Next it was chips he was throwing. Still not being corrected at all. I told him to stop and his mother got loud and rude at me. I was so glad when she stormed out.

Some people are unbelievable.

5. It does seem controversial.

For every person telling me that this isn’t an unpopular opinion, there is a comment telling me that I am a child hater and that children should be allowed to be children and society should be accepting of it

4. Or making silly comments.

This is honestly how I sometimes feel about public bathrooms. I feel like there needs to be public bathrooms specified for the use of adults with their small children.

I like to be able to shit without children screaming bloody murder in the bathroom.

Or peeking under the door at you. I was once on a long road trip. Guts had been gurgling and angry for a bit. We stopped at a Whataburger where there was only one stall in the bathroom (but it was still set up like it should’ve housed more stalls, so a stall within a private women’s room). Since the restaurant was relatively empty aside from one other family with a 3-4 year old, I decided to try to relieve my poor bowels.

I settled into the stall prepared to relax and wait (since road trip + foreign bathroom meant things would be a bit slower). Not two minutes in, the little 3-4 year old girl comes into the bathroom BY HERSELF. Obviously, there’s nowhere for her to do her business so she starts trying to open my stall door. I said “I’m sorry, this is occupied.” She waited a couple more minutes, then started CRAWLING UNDER THE STALL DOOR.

I shielded my parts and told her to please give me privacy. Once she was on the correct side of the stall again, I realized my bowel movement wasn’t happening and I gave up.

I couldn’t believe that those parents would let their small child go to the bathroom by herself. Sure, there should’ve been another stall for her to use, but jesus. If she doesn’t know not to crawl under stall doors, she’s too young to go by herself.

3. You can’t make a blanket statement.

I take my daughter with us to restaurants whenever we go, she’s 2. We have always held her to the same standards for restaurants as we do at home. She’s not allowed to get down and run around or scream during meal times. We have never ever had a problem with her at restaurants, she sits there quietly and happily with a crayon and a cup of water. I know I’m her mom and you may think I’m biased, but to be completely honest, I am so proud of her because of how well behaved she is.

My best friend on the other hand, is the parent that everyone f**king hates. Her 3 year old is an absolute terror at restaurants. The entire time, the child is running around screaming and laying under the table, it is absolutely maddening. I hate going out to eat with her because her child sets and example for mine, and my child behaves worse when she is around.

Anyways, my point is that not all children are the same, and it makes me really upset to see parents allow that kind of behavior in public because it gives a bad name to all kids.

2. Maybe HER children.

My husband and I went out on a date night. I think it was Applebee’s or Chili’s or some similar place where families dining there is to be accepted. However…the kids at the booth behind us were throwing things and climbing over the top.

We asked to be moved and the wait staff was very accommodating and nice about it. But when we walked by the other table, the mom said something about people who hate children.

Sorry lady, don’t hate children. Just your children on that particular night.

1. Know your audience.

Was at a bar with some friends and my one friend says “f** k.”

Couple comes up and asks him to watch his language because their kid is with them.

We just stared at them and said you brought your five year old to a bar.

You’re going to hear some bad words.

There are just too many variables as far as reasons people ending up needing to eat out with small children, and honestly, they’re not responsible for your comfort.

What are your thoughts? Drop them in the comments!

The post Should Kids Be Banned From Restaurants Until They’re Old Enough to Sit Still? appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Remember the Moment They Realized Their Favorite Teacher Was a Jerk

There’s a reason they say you should never meet your heroes, and it’s because there’s a very good chance that they’re going to disappoint you.

It could be because you realize they’re just human, but it’s also just as likely that they’re complete jerks in reality and your perception will be forever tarnished.

We can’t help but spend time with our teachers, though, and most of us at one time or another has put one of them up on a pedestal.

I would think that most of us – like these 15 people – have also watched one topple off.

15. This makes me nauseous.

When he popped up in the local paper for being a nonce.

This guy was That Teacher that everyone wanted as their teacher in primary school (up to age 10-11). He was funny, he made jokes, he wrote his own assemblies and school plays. We all thought he was such a cool teacher, not like the other stuffy teachers.

And I remember he always used to give special attention to kids in the class who were perhaps a bit poor or a bit slower academically – seat them in front of his desk and give them extra coaching and encouragement. And at the time everyone said how nice he was for doing that, but with hindsight he was picking them out and grooming them. Absolutely turns my stomach.

14. Not an uncommon tale.

When he’d shamelessly flirt with high school girls. This teacher was the girls varsity basketball coach, and every year there were rumors about him having s^x with a couple of them.

I’m sure most of those rumors are exaggerated, but one girl admitted years later that she had s^x with him on multiple occasions when she was 17/18 (this was in the late 80’s – the teacher was about 35-40 at the time and married).

13. Third graders. Oh my god.

When they bullied my friend to the point where she wanted to end her life.

We were in the third grade and she would always yell/taunt students, make fun of people with disabilities and flip out over the smallest of things. However, I assumed that this was how life was suppose to be as I had a similar childhood with my peers and home. I felt miserable, but she always helped me with my schoolwork because I was delayed as a child, so that made me like her more than my classmates. She didn’t ignore me like everyone else would, so I really liked that.

But that all changed when I was over at my friend’s home one day and she told me in secrecy that she wanted to end her life. She made a detailed plan and tried to give me something valuable of hers (a my little pony doll). At the time, she was not in a good home situation either and the teacher made her life miserable, since she would specifically target her.

My friend told me not to tell anyone, but I got my grandparents involved. They got her the help she needed and she’s still alive and my best friend to this day. She doesn’t know that I’m the one that told and I don’t even know if she remembers.

I tried bringing it up once in high school because it was relevant to the topic we were on about anyways, but she seemed totally confused. Not upset, just had no idea what I was talking about.

I am so glad that she’s alive though because she’s absolutely amazing. I hope that she actually doesn’t remember feeling that way. No one should.

12. So glad there were consequences.

At my high school a teacher/volley coach douche man was popular with the girls and a bunch of the normies thought he was cool cause he had nice cars.

He banged one of the girls who was 14. He was probably 40 and he was married. He also had a daughter who was 16 who went to the school.

This was in 2003. He got 11 years.

11. Why are there so many of these stories?

When I saw his mugshot show up on local news along with “statutory rape” and “16-year old girl”.

Doesn’t help that I was one of the only two girls in his class…

10. She’s lucky to be alive.

When he got drunk and beat the shit out of his then-girlfriend for turning down his marriage proposal

He locked her into her bedroom and ripped the phone out of the wall before leaving. Her brother found her the next day

9. Not such a cool guy.

There was a teacher at my school who everyone loved, he’d always try make lessons super fun. Well he got a new job and tons of us wanted to keep in touch with him because we all viewed him as a cool guy.

I think I was 14 at the time he left my school and every now and then we’d exchange emails but nothing much was said that’s noteworthy. When I turned 17 he emailed and I was pleasantly surprised as it had been a while since we last spoke. He mentioned he wanted to visit my hometown in the summer, I assumed to see family. Then mentioned there was someone he wanted to meet.

Eventually he said it was someone he really missed and then said that it was someone from school. He didn’t say it was me outright but I began to feel really uncomfortable and stopped replying. Eventually he wrote telling me to just forget it, he’s really sorry and tried to change the topic.

I blocked his email and never told anyone. Even now old school friends reminisce about how cool a guy he was and I keep quiet because what do I say? Anyways that’s my weird teacher story.

8. That’s pretty messed up.

I started out thinking my art teacher was all right..

Then I drew something and he started laughing really hard and exclaimed to me really loudly so the whole class could hear: “this looks like something a five year old drew”

7. This was always a slap in the face.

When I asked for an academic reference after leaving school. For 8 years she was my head of year and history teacher for 4 of those. Called me a star pupil, we had in jokes, I gave her gifts at the end of each academic year. But suddenly 3 years after I left, she “didn’t know me well enough” to write one. I was really disappointed and tbh a little heartbroken.

I complained to some school friends who mostly weren’t surprised and said they’d all found her two faced and didn’t like her back then. I was the only one who thought she was amazing and inspiring.

Later in life I’ve had university lecturers happily give me references without batting an eyelid, 5 years after completing their modules.

6. I am also mad now.

I was in beginning pottery my freshman year of high school, and the task was to make a lidded pot, so I decided to make mine shaped like Yoshi, with his head/back as the lid.

I was told it was childish and he wouldn’t put it in the kiln.

I had to start from scratch and didn’t have enough time to finish before it was due, so I got an F.

I still finished the class with an A, but I’m also still kinda peeved by the whole interaction.

5. Just reading this makes me feel gross.

I developed a very close bond with them similar to what you said. He’d call on me in class a lot and joked that he knew I already knew the answers. He let me go beyond time limits on presentations. We’d talk a lot before and after class, outside of school have long discussions at the library, etc.

He seemed really intelligent and wise.

It took me a while to understand why a lot of other students didn’t like him and resented me for our close bond. Also didn’t understand why after my dad met him and they talked for half an hour he asked me not to be alone with him.

Long story short, I later found out he had been singling out and befriending black kids in his class and that he had very radical political and religious views that he was trying to groom them into. I didn’t really believe it at first but he’s very open about it on social media, like really messed up stuff I wouldn’t otherwise know existed.

4. What was he getting paid for?

I basically didn’t have history class in 10th grade because the teacher was so lazy and apathetic.

The students loved that we had “free days” every other day, and most of the “class” when it wasn’t a free day was him putting a random movie on while he sat on his computer.

3. How is he not fired?

I had a teacher in grade 5 that I thought was really cool,I met him again in high school…he kept getting transferred from one school to another because if he got angry at a student he would hurt them (I’ve seen him pick up a student and desk and throw them).

Rumor has it that in the previous school he broke a student’s collar bone.

2. Sad is definitely one word for it.

When my history teacher cheated on his wife, who was a teacher at the same school, with another teacher and took her and her kids secretly to Disney world before ever taking his original family there. Sad.

1. Makes you wonder how he got the job.

Everyone loved one of my high school music teachers. Well…I should say all the students loved him. A lot of the rest of the department would put on a brave face, but then stories started circulating about how he’d fuck over his coworkers without giving it a second thought. But when you’re a student, you don’t really know the ins and outs of faculty politics. (Or at least students shouldn’t.)

Fast forward a number of years. A couple years after graduating from college, I wind up back in my hometown as a music teacher. The popular high school teacher had gotten his administration degree and was now the principal of the building I was assigned to work in. And he was terrible. TERRIBLE. Completely incompetent. Rude and unpleasant. Tried to use his physical size to intimidate people (in a building mostly staffed by women). I have stories.

Someone who was vaguely aware of the history but not the specifics once said to me, “Oh, isn’t it so nice that you’re working with one of your favorite teachers now!” I told her the truth – every good memory I had of being one of his students was erased by what a horrible principal he was.

We want to believe the best of the people who claim to care about us, but it’s just not true that they’ll never let us down.

What story would you add to this list? Tell us about it in the comments!

The post People Remember the Moment They Realized Their Favorite Teacher Was a Jerk appeared first on UberFacts.

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Wholesome Posts That Prove Teachers Sure Are Lovable

In all professions, there are people who are in it for the wrong reasons. Bad apples, as they say.

That said, most of the people who get into teaching do it because they love children, and they see teaching those children is akin to shaping the future of our world.

If you want to be reminded that this fact is so, so true, then you need these 14 wholesome posts in your life – get ready to smile.

14. This made everyone involved smile.

And now it’s made us smile, too.

13. Sometimes we just need to hear that it’s possible.

Especially if there are people in our lives who tell us differently.

12. What a brilliant and kind man.

And they learned something in the process.

11. She’s just doing her job.

Above and beyond, but still her job.

10. Sweets are awesome motivation.

Everyone knows that.

9. Good teachers really believe in us.

They want us to succeed.

8. She must be doing something right.

Bless her heart.

7. This is about the purest thing I’ve ever read.

I want to give this man a hug. Once he gets away from the anthill.

6. Teachers like encouragement, too.

They don’t need it, but they like it.

5. They never know where their students might go.

But they prepare them all for good things.

4. This makes my insides hurt.

Alllll of the feelings.

3. Oh, my heart.

This teacher surely burst into tears.

2. This meme is A+.

I’d never seen it before!

1. They’ll go to great lengths to support us.

Always with a smile.

I just can’t wipe the grin off my face, y’all.

If you’ve got a sweet story about a teacher, share it with us in the comments!

The post Wholesome Posts That Prove Teachers Sure Are Lovable appeared first on UberFacts.

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Teachers Share the Strangest Items They’ve Ever Confiscated

I think teaching is weird and wonderful work. You get to teach and love and shape a generation of kids, and if you do it right, you end up with a whole lot of awesome people who love you.

It can also be trying – between parents and administration and kids being kids, there’s a lot that goes on in a day that’s not going to be a highlight, exactly.

Like taking away things kids brought to class that they shouldn’t have.

If you think nothing can surprise you, step into the shoes of these 17 teachers, who have had to confiscate some pretty weird stuff.

17. Nothing about this surprises me.

Forks. Yeah, for real.

I had to take away all the plastic forks at lunch time until the sixth grade boys stopped shoving them down the butt cracks of their friends.

Fun times!

16. I can’t believe no one had smelled it already.

It was December or January and we were having one of those “lockdowns” where the police come in with dogs to sniff for drugs. We were all locked in our classrooms and no students were allowed out, even to visit the restroom.

One of my students was white as a ghost, very afraid. I asked him what’s the matter, but it was obvious he was afraid he was about to get busted. He said “Do you think the dogs will go to my locker?” I said “I don’t know, do you have something to be worried about?” He said “There’s a ham and cheese sandwich in there.”

I scratched my head a bit, “I’m sure it’s no problem to have a sandwich.” He said, “Yeah, but it’s been in there since September.”

15. He was just hungry.

A whole salami.

Kid kept walking over to his backpack and sticking his face in to take secret bites without me noticing….

I noticed.

14. Wow. I have a lot of questions.

Another student’s tooth. That he had fished out of the trash can.

That he was going to add to his tooth collection.

13. I can’t imagine why.

This is my brother’s story, and he was the kid.

It was a sandwich bag full of spiders. He collected them during recess, and one of the monitors probably got freaked out.

12. I…have no words.

Eyeballs. I worked with a blind student with autism.

When he would get angry, he would pop out his glass eyeballs and throw them across the room.

They were expensive, so mom asked that we put them in a plastic bag in his backpack if he threw them….

No more eyeballs for you today!

11. I need to know why.

There was a boy in my seventh grade class that wasn’t allowed to have coins because he’d eat them.

10. When you’ve had it up to here.

My mother was a primary school teacher. One day many many years ago she was working as a supply teacher filling in for an absent teacher.

It was late 80’s and Casio watches were all the rage. Every hour, on the hour, many watches would sound a chime to signal the start of a new hour. My mother had been hearing chimes and alarms going off all day and she announced “the next watch I hear beeping is coming home with me tonight”.

Moments later a watch chimed. It was my brothers 🙂

9. I am rolling my eyes.

First thing that came to mind – a drawing of a peanut.

One kid said he had a peanut allergy, so a boy drew a peanut on a piece of paper, and started shoving it in the other boy’s face and being a general dick with it.

8. Of course it was a boy.

Not me, but my co teacher tells the story of having to take a vibrator away from a student during band class.

The only reason he knew the kid had it was because the kid tried to play the xylophone with the thing.

7. We need to have a chat.

Handcuffs.

From an 8 year old girl. Not quite police grade, but more than just some “adult fun” cuffs.

Sent that down to the counselor.

6. Kids, am I right?

In middle school we had a special currency that they’d hand out to students for helping out or being kind that would then be able to be used to buy books or other small trinkets.

Somehow during the year I obtained a bunch of dental plaque pills. They turn the plaque on your teeth a certain color to help you brush your teeth I guess (in this case it was a dark purple) and I didn’t brush my teeth very well at the time so taking one would make my entire mouth a deep purple color. I thought I’d freak out my school friends with one and they all thought it was really cool and wanted to know how I did it. So I bring some more the next day and give a couple out to friends who then show other kids and tell them that I can make their mouths purple too.

So next day I brought all my plaque pills to school and start charging 1$ in school currency for 1 pill. Sometimes if a kid didn’t have money I’d make them give me whatever cool stuff they had that I needed (keychains, pencil sharpeners, whatever they were willing to trade). And of course all these other middle schoolers didn’t do a good job of brushing their teeth either so every kid I sold a pill too ended up with a dark purple color coating their entire mouth.

Well a bunch of kids mouths turning purple was quickly noticed by multiple staff members (who would’ve guessed) and apparently I went to school with a bunch of little narcs because very quickly I found myself in the principal’s office. They took all my pills, my school money and most of the other items that they were able to prove didn’t belong to me (even though I traded it fair and square). Principal was livid.

All I remember of the end result was waiting in the office getting yelled at by the principal zoning off as I imagined all the ways I was going to get my a$s beat when my dad eventually came to pick me up and this angry principal told him all about my little operation. But miraculously some lady came out of a room saying “Hey Principal your meeting is starting right now we can’t wait any longer.” and the Principal looking frustrated but telling me that they would be right back and that I was still in a lot of trouble. And as soon as they walked into another room my dad walked in and asked if i was ready to go which was answered with a very hasty “yup”.

The rest of the year felt like some weird twilight zone. None of the other kids mentioned it again. Dad never mentioned it. Staff never mentioned it. Never talked to the principal again (and made sure to avoid them like the plague). I NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE. And I will never understand how.

5. Seems like a fun experiment.

We had a fifth grade student of a police officer cuff his friend to the play structure on the playground a few years back.

Had to call the campus cop over to figure it out; poor lad didn’t look any worse for wear, just had to chill alone outside for a bit while his friends got back to class.

4. I would not have liked that.

An entire menagerie of live insects. One afternoon my class decided that they should see how many bugs they could capture and keep alive in my classroom. The next day, I returned from covering lunch duty in another part of the school and noticed that one of the cubbies had paper towel taped over the front like a curtain. Before I could investigate, I noticed several Tupperware containers hiding in desks.

Dozens of worms (that was the cubby) Many assorted beetles Uncounted ants 4 bees A wasp And, most upsetting, several flies which were crazy glued to index cards and had their wings removed.

That was a long day in a long year.

3. Jimmy got a reprieve.

A small trinket box (about palm sized), decorated with gems and glitter, with a live mouse inside.

The mouse was named Jimmy and had been caught in the child’s house.

2. Seems legit.

Instant pudding.

My student was mixing it in a large Cool Whip container, using milk from lunch, right in the middle of a lesson on Macbeth.

1. What else would he do with it?

Christmas ornaments.

They were throwing them at each other and it eventually caused a fight.

Next to that would be a curtain rod.

He found it and kept hitting people with it.

Kids never cease to amaze me, and I mean that in every way possible.

If you’re a teacher, add your weird item to this list in the comments!

The post Teachers Share the Strangest Items They’ve Ever Confiscated appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Times Kid Logic Totally Stumped Adults

Kids are many things, but luckily for those of us who love them, one of those things is downright hilarious.

One of the times they’re funniest is when they think they’re being completely and normal and logical but honestly, they’re acting like nuts.

If you’re not sure what I mean, these 15 posts should do the trick.

15. Honestly that seems fun.

And like it would feel funky. Nice.

14. She must not have had a lot of toys.

She did have great hair, though.

13. You need to know how it looks with a kid underneath it.

It will definitely happen again.

12. Everybody needs a little love.

Even the dead, I suppose.

11. Every single time.

They’re basically cats.

10. Yeah, you’re gonna want to check that out.

If you’re brave enough.

9. She’s basically invisible in a nursery.

I’m sure that was her plan all the time.

8. There really is no explaining kids.

You’ve just got to love them.

7. Maybe he just likes small spaces.

It’s safer that way.

6. At least they’re keeping up with current events.

I don’t think that coffin is going to hold.

5. I have no idea what’s happening here.

I’m betting that she doesn’t, either.

4. As long as they’re quiet, you just let it go.

He seems reasonably safe.

3. Honestly you’d expect nothing less.

This is how you know your toddler is operating successfully.

2. You’ve got to know your kid.

You can get away with cheaper presents that way. Sometimes.

1. Little boys, right?

They’re just so charming.

You gotta love kids, don’t you?

Tell us in the comments about a funny story about the time one of your kids pulled a similar stunt!

The post 15 Times Kid Logic Totally Stumped Adults appeared first on UberFacts.

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More Hilarious Stories from Remote School

There are a ton of woeful tales about things gone wrong during those days, weeks, and months of remote learning. No one was really prepared, and we’ve all been learning on the fly, so if you consider both of those things, we’re doing pretty well.

The funny stories are the ones that keep us going, if you ask me – they remind us no one knows what they’re doing, and that laughter is the thing that will get us through.

12. At least it was health class. Could be incorporated into the lesson!

Someone accidentally joined with a video camera and he was full on naked in front of the class.

Teacher was a 60 year old woman in health class and it was just full on awkward the entire class.

11. Everyone knows you’ve gotta look out for those roosters.

One of my friends screamed as loud as he could “OH FU*K” When my teacher asked him what was wrong he said, and I quote. “Sorry i just got attacked by my rooster.”

My teacher was just like Will, show me your rooster, he then proceeded to go outside and show my teacher his 10 chickens. Literally wasted half a class and was an absolute legend.

10. Well that’s a nightmare.

Our geography teacher accidentally left her screenshare on, went to her email, and clicked on a message, the first sentence of which was:

“Dear [our teacher’s name] I’m so sorry about your divorce with Jeremy.”

She never realized.

9. Ways to kill your classmates, for sure.

Some guy I know took a crap with his mic on unknowingly.

It was silent, then just a little ‘plop’. I’m dying just thinking about it.

8. It’s probably a good thing you can’t slap someone through the screen.

I had a 9 am class and the professor was being so obnoxiously loud and a student didn’t know their mic.

Was on and called the professor annoying and said he was going to jerk off to pass time.

7. We’re all worried about the cat.

First day of online classes with a very respected professor.

Of the 10 people participating, 5 had their camera on and I among these five.

I noticed my cat moving behind me and, out of nowhere, the teacher shouts: “THE CAT FELL OUT OF THE BED !!”.

At least it helped with breaking the ice…

6. She was trying to humble brag, maybe.

I teach college students.

Boyfriend of one of my students walked by naked in the background during lecture.

I think he had just gotten out of the shower.

5. This made me smile.

My algebra teacher has a cat who is very clingy and loves her a lot. So often she’ll be doing a lesson and her cat will be sitting on the desk nearby.

One time, my teacher was using highlighters on some notes and Bella(the cat) suddenly grabbed one, the class heard my teacher trying to grab the highlighters from the cat when suddenly Bella’s face reappeared on camera with a highlighter smear across her nose. It was really cute , highlight of my day.

4. So fun when everyone joins in.

A bunch of boys in my AP English class decided one Friday to turn their cameras on and wear hats, like sombreros, cowboy hats, and fedoras. The teacher found it comical and went to his closet to get himself a hat as well and sunglasses.

In the end there were around ten people wearing hats and sunglasses in the meeting.

3. What a trooper.

kind of funny, my whole class watched as our professor fell off his chair, stood up, and started screaming for his wife to call the ambulance his arm was broken.

I guess he was in shock or something because then he continued with the lesson for another 45 minutes until paramedics had arrived stabilized him and were ready to take him to the hospital. He then told us to have a good day and that we would end today’s lesson a bit earlier.

2. Teachers of young kids have it so rough.

Daughter’s a Special Ed Preschool teacher. On Zoom. It’s as hilarious as it sounds.

She discovered that when she loses internet, Zoom chooses a Cohost if one isn’t assigned.

A 3yo became Cohost until she could get back online (using a phone tether).

Her aide is now the permanent cohost.

1. Kids have learned nothing.

Someone just straight up typed the word “po*n” In the chat with no context.

I’m pretty sure he meant to type it into Google…

These are downright hilarious, and I love the human factor it’s giving to people’s teachers and professors.

If you’ve been doing remote school, share your funniest stories with us down in the comments!

The post More Hilarious Stories from Remote School appeared first on UberFacts.

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Kids Who Gave Things New Funny Names

If there’s one thing that’s true about kids across the board it’s that they call things as they see them.

They don’t pull any punches and they don’t really understand what they should and shouldn’t say, so you really never know what’s going to come out of their mouths.

Which is great, especially when they look at a common object and call it something else – but something that totally fits, anyway.

11. It would be nice to be able to pass someone good manners.

“My kids called napkins ‘good manners’…. Lol.”

― Gina de los Santos

10. It has sauce and layers, so…?

“A boy I babysat called lasagna ‘spaghetti cake.’”

― Allison Kennedy

9. Handle with care.

“My son called all UPS trucks the ‘bubble wrap truck.’”

― Christina McLaughlin

8. Makes perfect sense.

“Our oldest called knives ‘cut its’ because we would say ‘Do you want me to cut it?’

So he would say fork, spoon, cut it.”

― Jen Trotter Milke

7. This makes me giggle.

“My daughter calls hard taco shells ‘crunchy buns,’ and I don’t think we will ever call them something else.”

― Angie Salo

6. Does he work for IKEA?

“My son used to call instructions ‘destructions’ ― which could be explained by my terrible DIY skills!”

― Jamie Smith

5. Yet another reason to hate pants.

“When my now 9-year-old son was little, he always called bras ‘boobie pants.’

Walking through the underwear section of shops with him was always a fun experience with him yelling it at the top of his voice, as it made him laugh.”

― Emma Williams

4. That’s one opinion.

“My son used to say ‘moldy bar’ for granola bar.”

― Maya Broadfoot

3. I need an explanation for that last one…it sounds like a whistle?

“My daughter calls polka-dots ‘cocoa-dots’ and fire hydrants ‘hydro firemen’s.’

And instead of whistling to call the dog, she says ‘feet feet.’”

― Mindy Guthrie

2. It’s a common thing for a reason.

“Both of my girls referred to their backpacks as ‘pack packs.’”

― Cindy CJ Avis Farrow

1. Those are kind of beautiful. Ha!

“My daughter called Kit Kat candy ‘Kitty Kats’ and Frosted Flakes cereal ‘Frosted Snowflakes.’”

― Gena Bennett Catino

I’m going to adopt a few of these myself, I think.

What’s the greatest wrong thing your kid has called something?

Share it with us in the comments!

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People Shared Their Injuries That Are Just Too Dumb

Our bodies are just plain weird.

I mean on the one hand they’re these fascinatingly complex machines forged by eons of adaptation and struggle and death and trial and error, and on the other hand if you look at them weird they kinda fall apart.

That’s the lesson that many people on Twitter are learning.

Oh but it gets worse. Here are some more examples.

14. Bunt it

I think it’s safe to say you’re out.

13. Bemused

Yeah that sounds about right.

12. Hot times

This kid is going places. I don’t know where, but places.

11. Way up high

This is like some absolutely horrific version of slapstick.

10. What are ya, chicken?

Seems like you should just stay away from animals forever.

9. The blackout

At least you were around a nurse?

8. The wall

You’re gonna have to back up a minute and walk me through this.

7. A delicate balance

This hurts so much to read.

6. So romantic

The things that young men think women will be impressed by for some reason never cease to amaze me.

5. Just to be safe

Don’t do drugs, kids.

4. Back to basics

Totally worth it though.

3. Sock it to me

Ageing is a lot of fun.

2. Headfirst

You really gotta brace yourself.

1. Hippo impressions

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, kids are dangerous.

I need to go put on some bandages. Just in case.

What’s your dumbest injury?

Tell us the tale in the comments.

The post People Shared Their Injuries That Are Just Too Dumb appeared first on UberFacts.