People Talk About Their Worst “HR Is Not Your Friend” Stories

A lot of us have our struggles with human resources at jobs at some point in our lives.

You might think they’re on your side as a working stiff when you’re young and idealistic, but if you’ve ever had a bad experience with them, you know they can be downright brutal.

Folks on AskReddit shared their “HR is not your friend” stories. Let’s take a look.

1. Huh?

“Pulled into a meeting with two HR reps in the middle of my shift. Taken to this really nice boardroom, which was confusing because I was just a grunt and this is literally floors above where I should ever be.

They sat me down and said basically what do you have to say for yourself. Me, still confused, tells them I have no idea what they’re talking about. Everyone is really quiet and serious and I’m scared sh*tless. And they say you know what you did, this is cause for termination, blah blah.

I’m literally thinking this is really excessive for being a few minutes late sometimes. I insist I don’t know what’s going on. One of them maybe realized something was wrong and flips open a file and says you’re xxx right? Turns out they got me mixed up with someone else who has the same name.

On the elevator ride down by myself I was still sweating. Don’t know what that other person did but man, HR does not play.”

2. Ripped off.

“I went to HR to report that my team’s manager was illegally shorting all of our paychecks. HR’s response was to adopt a new, company-wide policy addressing the paycheck issue and back-paying most people for a certain amount, and also to frame me for work avoidance.

HR and IT disabled part of my login account to a tool we used, and then fired me a few months later after failing to fix the problem and allowing me to actually do my job.

They tried to deny my unemployment claim afterward. Told the unemployment rep that they “had logs” showing that I did something to break the tool I don’t even have access to break in the first place. They also didn’t think to disable my email access in a timely manner, so I was able to back up all my emails with IT documenting exactly what went down.

Unemployment approved my claim and hit them with a major penalty to their insurance.”

3. Shady.

“HR ordered me to downgrade my three excellent employee reviews to satisfactory because management didn’t recognize their names. I got written up for telling my employees this.

HR denied that they told me anything, even though I had the emails from them documenting it. Totally worth it. My employees were excellent and got the raises they deserved.”

4. Stabbed in the back.

“HR hired consultants to run morale building employee input sessions.

Basically saying “We’re not from the company. You can tell us all the things you don’t like about working here and would like to see changed and we’ll put it all into a report for management. Don’t worry, everything is anonymous, we just need material for our report and you guys get to have your say in improving things around here.”

Turns out HR and the consultants recorded all the sessions and played the highlights for management. People were disciplined for criticizing the company or their immediate superiors and any shred of faith or trust in management that the employees may have had was instantly incinerated.

Managers now complain that they don’t know what’s going on in their teams because nobody tells them anything. I wonder why.”

5. Don’t go to her.

“I worked at a smallish company that grew big enough to hire an HR person. Her office was down from mine so in the mornings I’d swing by and say hi.

That turned into grabbing a cup of coffee she had just made, the into having a pastry and talking about life. I found that if I mentioned someone’s name in passing, a few minutes later she would spill the beans about that person’s life.

What work issues they had, health issues, family issues etc. I learned really quick any issues I had not to take them to her. She made it like 6months before she got fired.”

6. Speakerphone.

“I asked my boss for a desk phone with a speakerphone function because sometimes I need it at work to conference people on the phone with people in my office.

We had these old, yellow phones. So he told me to make a request to him and CC our office manager, and he’d send it to the HR department of our region via e-mail.

So I put forth a nice e-mail outlining what I am requesting, and why I need it for HR’s request. My office manager replies all and asks HR “per lazarus870 request, should I order the phone through the same channels I have used before or is there a new policy?”

HR responded livid. She demanded to know why I needed this phone (it was in the e-mail…) and then accused my office manager of going behind HR’s back in ordering phones before without approval.

My office manager told my boss, who called HR and chewed her out and I could hear yelling. My boss came out of his office and yelled at me, “See what you’ve caused?!” He was fired up but I know he didn’t mean anything malicious by it. I just laughed.

HR had to apologize to office manager for accusations. Turns out, after everybody yelled their f*cking lungs out for an hour, the speakerphone I needed was literally free and we had boxes of them in storage. I had it for a month before HR rolled out new fancy phones that were actually expensive and convoluted, requiring training to set up and use…

At the company picnic we had to wear f*cking name tags and I had never met HR lady face to face and she came up and said, “Oh we haven’t met, what’s your name?” and I was trying to hide my nametag but she read it and didn’t seem happy to see me.”

7. A terrible place to work.

“At my last “real” job before striking out on my own I had an exit interview with the HR lady who was actually just someone who was friends with the company president who was filling in because the actual HR lady with a degree in HR and everything quit.

A lot of people at this place quit. It was a terrible place to work with out of touch management and delusions of grandeur limping along building websites for a business niche that was mostly old people who thought the Internet was magic.

During the exit interview she asked why I was leaving. I told her I liked my coworkers a lot, but hated the company. She got this exasperated look and got genuinely upset, and told me that she’d been getting that same line from everybody else who quit and had their exit interview recently.

It boggled my mind that they could hear the same thing over and over again from so many people putting in their time until they could go on to something better and not stop to think they should change something.”

8. Creeper.

“I worked in the bakery at a Fred Meyers for about 6 months when I was freshly 19.

There was this like 45 year old guy in meat/seafood who was super creepy and all of the women in my department and even one woman who was previously in my department but was moved to another TO GET AWAY FROM HIM warned me about this man from day 1.

Somehow, any time I was on my break, he would “be on his break too” and he’d follow me into the break room and try to flirt with me the entire time.

Not only did he follow me on my breaks and lunches, but if I had to walk to another part of the store to get anything he would run to catch up to me and walk with me, he followed me to my car a few times after I got off shift and the scariest time was when I was closing by myself and he came into the back of the bakery and kept following me around the long table, trying to grab me while telling me how much he liked me and how badly he wanted to be with me.

I told him no and to leave me alone CONSTANTLY while managers just shrugged and said “that’s just how he is”. My boyfriend threatened him when he got off work one time hell even my father came in and threatened him because NO ONE was doing ANYTHING.

The final straw for me was one night when I was closing alone again he came into the back area and followed me into the freezer and tried to kiss me and he grabbed my *ss. I pushed him and f*cking ran to the closing manager who also functioned as HR. He said he’d “watch the store footage” and talk to me the next day.

Next day comes and he pulls me into his office and says that he saw the video and saw this man stalking me inside and outside of work and that he “talked” to him about his behavior to which the man responded that it was just a “misunderstanding”.

I replied that this had been going on for months and I wasn’t going to take it anymore and he had the f*cking NERVE to tell me that “He just does this to all the new girls. As soon as another girl gets hired he’ll leave me alone.” I told him he was a bastard and quit on the spot.

Turns out the creep was the brother of the stores owner who had been to jail in the past for s*xual assault and R*PE but was now “cleaning his life up”.

9. That sucks.

“I reported s*xual harassment to HR at a large international company when I was 21.

They notified my harasser (an older VP) before I even made it back to my desk.

I was fired a few days later, despite an excellent performance review the week before he propositioned me.”

10. I believe I deserve a bonus.

“The HR/Payroll manager at a small hospital I worked at had a bad habit of not paying out the sign-on bonus that was paid out incrementally in three payments through the course of a year and sign on bonuses for picking up extra shifts. After repeated request to be belatedly compensated, I took it to corporate who addressed my issue immediately.

A couple weeks later I was terminated on what amounted to a technicality where I forget my badge one shift and my relief was late to take over sitting with a patient, causing me to receive more points against me than if I had called out for that shift.

When I was called in to receive my notification, the director of nursing was shocked but ultimately not much she could do.”

11. Fender bender.

“A co-worker accidentally backed his company truck into my personal car while it was parked. He alerted me and our local manager immediately, we took photos, filled out the incident report, yada yada yada.

Everyone in our office was in agreement about what happened, that it was an honest accident and the company’s insurance should cover the cost of fixing my car.

Then the HR director got involved. First he tried to get me to assume liability since it was my personal vehicle that “caused” the accident. My car was parked in the parking lot and I was inside at my desk when it happened. When I pointed this out he backed down and said he would file the claim.

Next I got a call from a hostile insurance adjuster from my company’s insurance demanding that I provide my insurance information or they would be pursuing legal action. It turns out the HR director had filed the claim saying that I had run into the parked work truck with my car and tried to flee the scene but was witnessed by a co worker who reported me.

I informed the adjuster what had actually happened and emailed her the photos and signed incident reports and witness statements that we had filled out and she changed her tune pretty quickly and said she would get back to me.

The next day I get a “settlement agreement” from HR asking me to accept $1100 for repairs and to sign a form releasing the company from any further responsibility. I had only just dropped my car off at the body shop and hadn’t even gotten the estimate back yet. I declined and was told that I either had to accept their offer or be out of luck.

At this point I reached out to my own insurance and told them what had happened. As I went through the sequence of events I could hear my agent getting almost giddy about all the blatantly illegal tactics HR had tried on me. In the end they processed my claim and pursued my own company’s insurance through subrogation. He also mentioned that they would probably be seeking additional damages due to falsification of statements in the initial claim. Don’t f*ck with USAA.

In the end the damage ended up costing over $4,000 to fix but I didn’t have to pay a cent, not even my deductible. I don’t know if the HR director experienced and consequences, but there was a comment in our finance VP’s year end report about needing to “reduce extraneous costs due to reporting delays and inaccuracies in liability claims.””

Have you ever had any bad experiences with human resources at work?

If so, please tell us all about it in the comments.

Thanks in advance!

The post People Talk About Their Worst “HR Is Not Your Friend” Stories appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Most Inoffensive Thing They’ve Seen Someone Get Offended by

I don’t like to use the word “snowflake” because it gets thrown around so often, but it’s pretty true…people out there really do get offended by everything these days.

Hey, a lot of things are definitely worth getting worked up over but others…not so much…

AskReddit users talked about the most inoffensive things that they’ve seen people get upset about.

Let’s take a look!

1. Everyone just calm down.

“Someone once got offended because I used the word black in conversation…..I was talking about an article of clothing/the color black.

They tried to make in to something about race, and that I shouldn’t use the term black anymore, and should say African American, I said that makes no sense I’m literally talking about the color black.

Am I supposed to say I’m wearing an African American colored shirt?! Maybe I’m crazy but I think that’s actually offensive”

2. She sounds like a blast.

“This guy at a Halloween party I was at was dressed in a giant bacon costume.

Some girl was yelling at him for being so offensive toward Jews and Muslims (she was neither Jewish nor Muslim). One of the Muslim guys at the party asked her what the f*ck she was talking about but she didn’t back down.

I have no idea why people feel they need to go out of their way to be (inaccurately) offended on behalf of other cultures/religions.”

3. Makes perfect sense.

“While working tech support back during the dot com boom I had a customer get upset with me over the use of the word “icon”.

He said it had religious implications and he insisted I call Windows icons “little picture things”.”

4. Get a grip.

“A f*cking picture of an eye.

We have an organization-wide theme every year and all the PC’s on our network have the same background and theme which can’t be changed. So this year’s theme is “Vision is 2020” and the background was a zoomed-in picture of an eye in really awesome colours.

Two women on staff wrote letters to complain that the picture was “heathen” as it drew from “Illuminati” imagery and paid tribute to the “all-seeing eye of Eqyptian deities”.

They wined and complained to such an extent that the picture was eventually changed to shut them up and let the normal folks get back to our actual work.”

5. Oh, Jared…

“I sang the song “hit the road jack” to a kid I just beat in a game while in the 3rd grade mockingly.

He took that as me calling him a jack*ss. He told the recess monitor this. I was told to stand against a wall away from the rest of the kids with the recess monitor.

I am now 27 now, married with two kids but I will never forget this.

If you ever see this I DIDNT CALL YOU A JACK*SS JARED, BUT NOW, F*CK YOU FOREVER.”

6. That’s how they do it.

“Got chewed out once for saying, “yes ma’am,” to a lady.

I’m in the south, that’s what we do.”

7. Was he a total psycho?

“A sandwich. I kid you not.

My ex husband was given a sandwich by our then 13yr old daughter and because she cut the sandwich he went off on a massive strop about how his sandwiches should never be cut etc.

The poor kid’s face, she was crushed. It still winds me up no end every time I think about it.”

8. People can be terrible.

“I worked at a movie theater. Went above and beyond for a customer who only wanted a certain amount of oil and salt for his popcorn.

I had to make him his own batch and risk burning myself to catch some of the hot oil in a cup before it went into the kettle. He then realized he was late for his movie. He asked if there was any way I could bring his food to him in the theater. Never heard that before, but sure! I don’t mind.

Bring him all of his food and he says thank you. I smile and say “no problem!” I was genuinely happy to do this for him.

He throws a fit and complains to my manager. Me saying “no problem” somehow insinuates that when customers ask you to do something it can be a problem. Said I should get written up for not saying “you’re welcome” instead.”

9. Violent imagery.

“I managed a small, new team that had no procedures or policies, so I set about instituting some.

“I mean, you never know, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and then no one would know how to process these requests,” I told them, when asking for their feedback and for them to write up how they did their tasks. Then we would come back together and decide best practices in a meeting.

Little man filed a complaint to the manager for my use of “violent imagery” and said that he felt threatened. It was a whole thing. Ultimately, he got fired.”

10. You’re wrong.

“I’m a white South African.

Born here, my nationality is South African.

Some American girl got offended that I called myself South “African” as a white dude, and said that only people of color can call themselves that.

Uhhh, it’s a nationality.”

11. I’m being persecuted!

“At my wedding we marked the vegetarian items as vegetarian.

This made the one vegetarian at my wedding (sister in law who hates me) fly into a catatonic rage because we are singling out the vegetarian food as vegetarian and not treating it as normal food.

Then how the f*ck are they supposed to know its vegetarian?”

12. This is offensive to me.

“This happened just last week.

I work at a bank in an affluent part of Atlanta (read: Old White Money), and a woman called in to let us know she was offended by the security questions for her online banking.

The security questions. She herself setup.”

13. The nerve of these people!

“My dad loves to tell the story of how, shortly after they were married, he and mom went to get some fast food.

As they pulled up to the drive through window, my very conservative mom saw a sign that said “Condiments available upon request” and said “OMG, that’s disgusting! WHY would a restaurant feel the need to give those out!?”

She had misread it and thought they were giving out condoms upon request.”

Now we want to hear your stories.

In the comments, tell us the most inoffensive thing that you’ve seen people get offended by.

Please and thank you!

The post People Share the Most Inoffensive Thing They’ve Seen Someone Get Offended by appeared first on UberFacts.

Want to Hear Some Stories About Hypocrites? Here’s What People Had to Say.

There’s almost nothing worse than a hypocrite in life.

It’s really enough to make a person’s blood boil! Myself included…

But, as you already know, they’re everywhere and we have to deal with these people whether we like it or not.

Folks on AskReddit shared stories about the most hypocritical things they’ve ever seen.

1. Gross.

“When I was in college there was a super immature guy that I believe only got into our private school because his parents had money.

One day we were sitting in his dorm room watching tv, and he speaks up: “god, don’t you just hate people who steal things for no reason?” The rest of us turned and stared in disbelief. Behind him on a shelf was a collection of all the things he’d stolen from businesses. I remember Red Robin seasoning and bowling shoes, but there was a lot more.

A glimmer of self awareness pierced through his thick skull and he back tracked somewhat. “I mean for me, it’s like ‘my thing’, but still!””

2. All over the place.

“A post saying stuff like “don’t forget to wear a mask, we’re all in this together, stay safe everyone!”

Followed by a series of videos taken inside of a crowded club, bumpin’ and grindin’ up on each other, not a mask in sight.”

3. Oh, really?

“People who watch TV for hours on end saying playing video games is a waste of time.”

4. Oh, Mom…

“My mom got very angered that our governor was allowing people to have family over for Thanksgiving, and not doing his part to stop the pandemic.

A week later, she was very upset about how my grandma had declined her invitation to come have Thanksgiving with us.”

5. Terrible.

“I work in a courthouse.

People who abuse children for years and years and when they get on the stand they breakdown crying and plea for mercy.”

6. Typical.

“When I was going through my college party phase I ended up hanging with kids who graduated from a local Christian school. They drank, did drugs, and bragged about premarital s*x like a lot of college students.

When you talked about politics tho they immediately would go on and on about the moral failings of society and how it needs to be more Christian yadda yadda.”

7. Some of the worst.

“Televangelists preaching how we should live modestly while they own several private jets to fly around the country spreading the word of The Lord.

Sometimes they’ll come on TV saying God came to them in a dream saying they needed more.

Jesus would fly coach if he flew at all.

I believe Jesus also preached about taking in the displaced, etc?

Iirc in 2017 Joel Osteen was not allowing hurricane evacuees into his megachurch.”

8. Very annoying.

“My friends who complain about people who break lockdown and then go on to break lockdown for “sleepovers” and “girly nights” the same day they were criticizing others.

Infuriatingly entitled.

“Others must follow the rules but they don’t apply to me”.”

9. Harassment.

“I’ve been repeatedly s*xually harassed by a gay man before and have even had to make sure he didn’t find out where I lived so he couldn’t keep doing it.

When I explained this one time to my co-workers one sneered and said I was just being homophobic and assuming it was harassment. I said the man has repeatedly attempted to convince me to sleep with him despite my refusals, attempted to find my home, and once tried to trap me in a public restroom to make sure he couldn’t lose track of me.

If I was a woman in this situation would my coworker even think of telling me that I was overreacting? Fortunately the rest of my crew supported me and tell him it was hypocritical to assume s*xual harassment can only happen to women.”

10. Hmmm…

“A chick who posted about how she doesn’t eat beef because she loves cows, the next day posted a photo of her new designer leather handbag.”

11. Dear Old Dad.

“Just my dad in general. Here’s some highlights.

As a child, he’d often tell me I had to think for myself, but then he’d beat me if I said things he disagreed with. Sometimes, he’d pose questions to me, and then hit me until I guessed the chain of logical jumps that led to the conclusion he was looking for.

He once went on a 4 hour rant about how my generation are all dirty communists and Muslims are all terrorists and a big gay conspiracy and other such nonsense. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, but he had the gall to end with “I’d be willing to change my mind if anybody were willing to have a discussion with me, but nobody’s willing to talk with me”.

When Trump got elected and people were complaining about it, his response was “how dare they question the president; that’s disrespectful to the office.” A month earlier, he was still aboard the Obama birther train. These days, he thinks Biden stole the election.

In high school, he sometimes made fun of me for being a creature of habit. He’s had the same routine, worn identical outfits, and eaten the same lunch every day for the past 20+ years at least. I didn’t have much say in my routine back then anyway. School ate up most of my time, and it’s not like my parents allowed me to get together with my friends.

Similarly, he’d make fun of me for not having friends. I did have friends, but to him they didn’t count because he’d never met them, because he never allowed them to visit, because he’d never met them. He has one friend that he sees outside of work once a year, and often times not even that.”

How about you?

What’s your most infuriating story involving a hypocrite?

Talk to us in the comments. Thanks!

The post Want to Hear Some Stories About Hypocrites? Here’s What People Had to Say. appeared first on UberFacts.

What Would You Do if Time Stood Totally Still for 48 Hours? Here’s How People Responded.

Before I learned that time was going to stand still for 48 hours, I would want to learn how to fly an airplane so I could fly wherever I wanted and do some serious exploring without any interference.

Hey, a boy can dream, right…?

What do you think your plan would be?

Folks on AskReddit talked about what they would do if time stood still for 48 hours.

Let’s take a look!

1. Sounds like a plan!

“About a half hour of not realizing, 47.5 hours of existential crisis, followed by years of therapy.”

2. I’ll take that!

“Rob drug dealers.

What are they gonna do? Report it to the police?”

3. Good luck with that.

“I would be a bank robbing mofo!

I could amass one hell of a stack in 48 hours.”

4. This is pretty good.

“Tie people’s shoe laces together.

Pick up all of the dog cr*p in my neighbor’s yard and put it in her living room.

And…. steal the Declaration of Independence, then hide it in Nic Cage’s house.”

5. Enjoy the peace and quiet.

“I’d steal a bicycle (because I don’t own one) and ride around enjoying the quiet and stillness.

Maybe an electric bicycle, because I’m old and fat, and in reality I’d probably last 10 minutes on a regular bike.”

6. What just happened?

“Move everyone slightly off the ground not enough to get hurt but enough to realize you’re falling making sure everyone is in the exact same position.

Except one person hanging off of something very visible so everyone gets a weird falling feeling except that guy who really can’t explain why he’s in a harness hanging of 2 light posts.”

7. You do you.

“Walk around naked with no shame.

Do a helicopter every now and then.

Find a nice spot, drinks some beers, whilst having some music on.

A basic way to spend my 48 hours, but a peaceful one.”

8. Mess with ’em a little bit.

“Have some fun.

Change things ever so slightly like switching peoples’ clothes, turning them around, turning cars around, put a dog leeah in random peoples’ hands.

So many minds are going to be blown!”

9. Too scared to act.

“I would think about doing illegal things, but then I would wonder if people were just not able to move but could still see what I’m doing, so I would be too scared to do anything.”

10. Shopping spree.

“I’d “go shopping”! I would hit all the big corporate stores and just steal everything of use. I’d finish my Christmas shopping.

I’d steal a fridge and a few freezers and stock my garage with food for a year. I’d steal items that are going to be rare favs this Christmas and then resell them on ebay once time unfroze.

I would hit the dispensaries and steal all of the weed. I’d take cash from all corporate stores. I would be set up for a long time.”

11. Help out the kids!

“This might be kind of weird, but I steal all the really good toys from Walmart that are on the hot lists right now.

Not like every single one, but quite a few. Walmart can take the hit.

Then I donate all that sh*t to Toys for Tots.”

12. You blew it!

“Be confused.

I would jump from one idea to another and won’t be able to start until the times over.

So basically nothing…”

13. Got it all figured out.

“First thing I do, get in my car and drive somewhere ~10 hours away from me.

I then start going around to jewelry shops and I start taking the precious metals. Mostly ignore the gemstones, those have lesser value on the resale and also have the possibility of getting tracked (gemstone chemical signatures and such are tracked to some extent for this reason).

I spend the bulk of the next 20 hours or so just loading up on gold/silver/etc before driving back towards my hometown.

Somewhere ~2 hours away from home (probably on the opposite side of where I did my thefts) I go to a spot in the middle of nowhere and I dig a hole in the ground in some very out of the way spot and I bury the metals there. I then head home and at that point I should have a few hours left. More preparation is needed.

The MOMENT that time resumes, I go to my car and I head out into town to my various usual shops. The Starbucks, the Subway, the grocery store, the hardware store, etc. And I make it a point to chat with the people there, maybe I hit on some of the employees (while dying inside, that’s not really something I do) just to make it a little more memorable in their minds. Pay for EVERYTHING using my credit cards. Stop by my bank and do something, like buying more checks or something.

The whole point of all of this is that if I left any DNA or anything behind, or somehow there was other indication that I was there, I have this alibi. Sure, you might have my DNA at the scene of the crime(s) but how do you explain that I provably was in my hometown 10 hours away from the crimes? I definitely don’t have a twin!

Either way, after a year or two (even if there’s no sign that they are onto me) I go and pick up the metals. From that point I set up a little home-forge (they are pretty easy to make for <$200 using random materials). From that, I melt all the metals down and I cast them as “artistic sculptures”.

Little things like a pound or so. Then from this over time, I drive around and go to pawn shops wanting to sell “my art”. Inevitably they won’t give a sh*t about the artistic value of these things but will likely pay for them in terms of “It’s a 1 pound solid gold statue. I’ll pay for the 1 pound of gold.”. And slowly but surely I convert all these things into cash. Never visit the same pawn shop twice.

As far as the cash is concerned, basically just start paying for everything in cash, though I don’t go ONLY with my ill gotten cash. Withdrawn money from my bank account now and then and when I’m paying for things, go 50/50 between the dirty money and the real money. Either way, I hide the sudden existence of the money by spending it slowly over time effectively reducing my expenses.

In this way my bank accounts have no real visible difference in behavior other than I appear to be living a bit more frugally. It wouldn’t be enough to trigger any audits so I should be good.

In the end, the reason I end up being able to buy something flashy is because it LOOKS like I saved up money over time, and I did if only because the dirty money helped me reduce my visible expenses.”

How about you?

What would YOU do if time stood still for 48 hours?

Talk to us in the comments. We’d love to hear from you!

The post What Would You Do if Time Stood Totally Still for 48 Hours? Here’s How People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

Enjoy These 15 Animals Without Necks, Just Because

I don’t know how to prepare you for what you’re about to see. There’s really no clever way to introduce it.

These are animals without necks. When you see them, you will want to laugh. And that’s fine, because they are not cursed to live this way by some genetic accident. They’re just the fever dreams of a photoshopping Instagrammer who…has certainly found their niche.

Here are what some animals would look like without necks. Just because.

15. Polar Bear

He do a strut.

14. Zebra

This is me after I tell a bad joke and nobody laughs.

13. Deer

Such a majestic creature.

12. Pelican

Are you a pelican or a pelican’t?

11. Giraffe

“Oh come on man, that was like my ONE THING.”

10. Tiger

Excuse me, comin’ through.

9. Donkey

Dat *ss though.

8. Cow

She looks so suspicious, I can’t handle it.

7. Camel

Don’t smoke, kids.

6. Elephant

Lemme just strut this tusk for a minute.

5. Goat

The greatest of all time.

4. Hippo

Is this a baby Jabba the Hutt?

3. Turkey

Nice try, Thanksgiving.

2. Doge

Truly man’s best friend.

1. Meerkat

Or mere cat?

I’ve been laughing for so long and staring at these so intently that I’ve nearly forgotten what necks look like. I may shock myself when I see my own in the mirror soon.

I think this is really what photoshop has been leading up to. Nay, it’s what computer technology in general has been leading up to.

Which one do you think is the funniest? What do you hear them saying in your head when you see the picture?

Tell us in the comments.

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