Funny Tweets About the Ups and Downs of Marriage

Once, I had a married friend tell me, “if you think dating someone can get heated, just wait until you get married. It’s like a kettle just waiting to explode at any moment.”

That sounds like a lot of fun! Right?!?!

Well, you do what you want with that information, but I think we can all agree that marriage takes a lot of patience and compromise…and sometimes those things only happen on one side.

Hey, we don’t make the rules, we just report them to you.

Take a look at these funny marriage tweets and let us know if any of these situations look familiar.

1. A classic Dad joke.

You had to do it!

2. That’s the ultimate test.

Yup, they’re good to go!

3. I think you know what’s for dinner…

Why even bother asking?

4. He’ll never find them there.

Women, take notice of this.

5. That sounds very HOT.

And very exciting! The thrill is not gone!

6. This is what 40 looks like.

Hey, just embrace it!

7. It works every time.

I can picture him drifting off to sleep.

8. You got what you asked for.

Is there a problem?

9. Uh oh…you know he’s gonna mess this up.

There will be Hell to pay.

10. Do you see this new growth?

No. No, I don’t.

11. Well, someone has to be right.

Marriage sure is grand, isn’t it?

12. Don’t let him sleep soundly.

He definitely doesn’t deserve it.

13. What kind of a question of that?

Get that sh*t outta here!

How about you?

Is your old man or old lady driving you nuts right now or are you guys weathering the storm during the pandemic?

Talk to us in the comments and give us a life update!

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Want Some Funny Marriage Tweets? Here You Go!

Isn’t marriage wonderful?

No worries, no fighting…just the two of you staring into each other’s eyes and falling in love all over again every single night over a candle-lit fire…

Yeah right! Who are we kidding?!?!

It’s a constant battle of Good vs. Evil, Right vs. Wrong…and we’ll leave it up to you to figure out who’s on the “correct” side of your own battles.

Well, now that we’ve come to grips with that reality, let’s enjoy some funny tweets about marriage! Here we go!

1. Hey, this is a great surprise!

Are you sure about that…?

2. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?

Hey, I’m trying to sleep over here!

3. This is some very good planning.

We got a smart one here!

4. Can we all stop doing this?

It’s enough to drive a person nuts!

5. That pretty much sums it up.

And if I were you I wouldn’t ask any questions…

6. That’s one way to prove a point…

Honey, why is there another bottle of A1 open in the fridge?

7. You don’t want to feel left all alone.

I can help you out with this.

8. Everything is firing on all cylinders.

You gotta love it!

9. Yeah, what about those parachute pants?

You should just probably keep your mouth shut…

10. Hey, it might be a good deal!

Give me all the details!

11. You’re really doing it, aren’t you?

Now it’s time to show you off!

12. Ummmmm, you did your nails?

WRONG ANSWER.

Okay, now we want to hear from all the readers out there.

How’s your relationship with your significant other going these days?

Tell us what’s going on in the comments. And yes, we are your new therapists…

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Nostalgic Tweets About the Good Old Days of 1980s and ’90s Fast Food

I can still see it in my head so clearly…

When I was a little kid and we lived in suburban Chicago, our mom would pile us in the car and take us ice skating at a rink a few towns over and Wednesday nights.

And after the ice skating…it was time to hit Taco Bell.

Now, we didn’t eat out very often, so going to Taco Bell was a HUGE deal and an enormous treat. And I still like it!

The 1980s and 1990s were a great time for fast food restaurants and people took to Twitter to take about those glory days after posts about how Wendy’s used to have a yellow color scheme…and things took off from there.

Let’s take a look!

1. Burger King kid’s club!

That was some good stuff.

2. Those are pretty cool.

I wonder if they’re worth any money…

3. The ultimate birthday party location.

You know you remember it!

4. That plate is on fire.

Do you have any of these stored away somewhere?

5. I’ve never been to a Roy Rogers?

Am I missing out?

6. Shrek for the win!

I always loved the movie tie-ins at McDonald’s.

7. Going back to the ’70s.

A total nostalgia trip.

8. Whoa, I don’t remember these.

Gonna have to get on eBay tonight…

9. I remember them well.

They were quite tasty, as I recall.

10. Dine-in Pizza Hut was da bomb.

That salad bar? Woooo!

11. Those are some wild colors.

Totally ’90s, y’all!

What’s your favorite fast food joint?

Talk to us in the comments!

We’d love to hear from you!

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“Thoughts of Dog” Takes You Deep Inside a Good Pooch’s Mind

When I was a little kid, I was convinced that my dog Quincy was going to learn to talk one day

How could he not? We were so close and connected and he obviously understood what I was saying all the time, so what was the holdup?

Well, sadly, Quincy never did learn to talk and I’m still not over it all these years later.

But the next best thing is the “Thoughts of Dog” Twitter account that gives us human beings an inside look into what dogs are really thinking about when they’re chilling around the house or frolicking in the yard.

Are you ready to gain some serious knowledge about your pooch? Let’s take a look!

1. Thank goodness for you.

Holding it all together.

2. You should enjoy it!

Everyone wants to be your friend.

3. Just letting it all hang out.

Let your freak flag fly!

4. Time to load up on food.

We wish you well in your quest!

5. The small human neighbor.

You have a new best friend!

6. And they took you to “show and tell”!

How much fun that must have been!

7. Dogs really don’t like these things.

So be careful with them, okay?

8. You’re helping make a love connection.

How did it work out?!?!

9. Demanding a refund.

Well, that didn’t go as planned.

10. Nothing wrong with being fancy sometimes.

Hey, you do you!

11. You can never leave the house again.

I’m pretty sure all dogs feel this way.

12. I have a feeling you ate it…

It definitely sounds like something you’d do…

Do you have any dogs at home?

Well, you know we want to meet them!

Share some photos with us in the comments. Thanks!

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Wholesome Photos of Rescue Pets That We Think You’ll Love

A little love goes a heck of a long way. And that is especially true when it comes to rescue animals.

If you have any rescue pets, you already know that this is definitely true.

All these creatures want is to be loved and to have a safe place to live out their days and when a human is generous to make it happen, they reward them with a lifetime of happiness and companionship.

Here are some wholesome photos of rescue animals that we think you’ll love. Let’s take a look.

1. Look at how happy he is now!

From rags to riches.

I adopted this baby from the Dominican Republic 1 month ago- my mom didn’t believe me that it was the same dog. I named him Remi and he suffered from mange and malnutrition, not anymore! from BeforeNAfterAdoption

2. Head over heels in love.

Get a load of Brutus!

I adopted 12 year old Brutus a few months ago. He is sluggish, stubborn, gassy, hogs the bed and drools so much I have actually slipped on my kitchen floor. And I’m head over heels in love with him. from aww

3. I think you two are gonna make a great couple.

That’s a great-looking dog!

Reddit, this is Bella. First dog I have had in 20 years. from aww

4. Rescued from a feral cat colony.

She is absolutely adorable!

She was rescued from a colony of 30 feral cats in NE Ontario. She follows me around for snuggles, and will snuggle me for hours. I think this one’s gonna be a foster fail… from aww

5. These two are gonna be best friends forever.

I love this!

Four days since adoption and new kitten Charlie is loving his big brother Tipsy. from cats

6. Look at all this food!

Now she’s gonna be living the high life!

This is Bonnie. She is happier to see the food aisle than just recently being adopted from aww

7. Oh my God, I love this photo.

Make yourself at home!

Rescued a couple brothers this weekend from aww

8. She adopted you!

She’s not going anywhere.

After 3 long months of trying to get her trust. This cutie has finally adopted me!! from aww

9. The best part of your life.

You saved his life. Great work!

Our new rescue dog Patches. He is deaf and would have been put down if we didn’t adopt him. He is now the best part of our lives! I have cuter photos if people want to see!!! from aww

10. I think she’s fitting in just fine.

The look of pure joy.

Recently adopted a kitten, this was a pic of her first night home! from aww

11. This is just too much.

I love those jammies!

Our recently adopted old pup is enjoying his new rocket jammies from aww

12. Not being shy anymore.

Greyhounds are gentle giants.

We adopted a retired racing greyhound that was too afraid to interact with our other dog. A few months later and they’re over here smoochin from aww

13. Two peas in a pod.

Welcome home!

Adopted these two little beauties from the animal shelter. Say Hi to Loki and Thor ? from aww

Do you have any rescue pets at home?

If the answer is YES, share some photos with us in the comments.

And tell us a little bit about them!

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Nostalgic Tweets About Fast Food Restaurants in the 1980s and ’90s

As a child of the late 1980s and early 1990s, I’d be a pretty big liar if I said I didn’t spend my fair share of time in fast food restaurants growing up.

I used to hit all the classics: McDonald’s, Burger King, Long John Silver’s, and my personal favorite, White Castle.

White Castle, oh how I long for thee…oh sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

But the point is that the 1980s and ’90s were the Golden Age for fast food joints, and people really have a lot of strong memories about them.

Apparently, a lot of these tweets got rolling because folks on Twitter were talking about how Wendy’s used to be yellow and things went from there.

Let’s take a trip back in time with these fast food tweets.

1. I want all of this right now.

Probably not good for the gut, though.

2. I still remember the first Subway I ever went to.

It was a magical journey.

3. The yellow Wendy’s…

Do you remember?

4. The best of the best.

The jukebox was pretty solid, too!

5. Wild ’90s colors all over the place.

Feels like an episode of Saved by the Bell.

6. There are a lot of cool McDonald’s locations out there.

A lot of stuff went down in those Playlands.

7. Styrofoam for days.

They weren’t too concerned about the environment back then…

8. I do not remember the McDLT.

I missed this one somehow.

9. Oh man, this was some good stuff.

It was always nice and greasy!

10. Check out that ashtray!

And those old Taco Bell wrappers!

11. Going wayyyy back with this one.

You never forget your first time.

12. Kind of wild to think about this now.

That was a lot of fun!

Okay, time to spill the beans…

What’s your favorite fast food restaurant?

Talk to us in the comments! Let’s get greasy!

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Rescue Pet Pictures That Are Very Wholesome

There aren’t too many things that have the ability to make people all warm and fuzzy inside like stories and photos of rescue pets.

And we’ve got a great batch for you to enjoy today…some of them might even make you tear up a little bit because they are so sweet and wholesome.

Heck, you might even be inspired to go out and adopt your own dog or cat after looking at these adorable pics.

Are you ready to feel the love? Let’s take a look!

1. He’s definitely purrfect!

What a little cutie!

Frankie was born with four ears and an eye deformity but he’s still purrfect from aww

2. Wow! What are the chancees?

This is really awesome.

These two were adopted 3 years apart from different cities. A DNA test revealed that they are long lost siblings! from aww

3. You made the right choice.

And I love the name, by the way.

As a single dad, I had to put my foot down and tell my seven year old daughter that there was no way she was getting a dog for Chanukah, no matter how much she asked. Anyway, meet Waffle. from aww

4. He proved everyone wrong.

You gave him a great life.

He was a rescue. A runt. Probably blind, deaf, won’t make it very long, they told me. Well, happy 10th birthday, buddy. from rarepuppers

5. He knows he’s going to a good home.

Welcome to the family!

Old man Ed’s "I’m getting adopted!" smile is both handsome and proud! from aww

6. You knew he’d come around.

Just give him some time.

I just adopted Atticus this weekend. He was a stray and they told me he’s a very fearful cat. I slowly introduced him to my closet with some food, a bed I warmed up in the dryer, and some pets when he allowed. Just this morning he sat in my lap and purred. from cats

7. Who the hell would do something like this?

We’re happy you’re taking care of her.

Dandy had part of her face shot off (before I adopted her). I love her two derpy top teeth. from cats

8. Better check the fridge again.

Yeah, there he is.

We adopted a kitten last month… We now have nightly ritual of checking the fridge and other small spaces to make sure he’s not trapped anywhere before we go to bed ? from AnimalsBeingDerps

9. Your new forever friend.

Climb aboard, kitty!

Went to the shelter to look at dogs, they didn’t have any there but once this lil girl saw me she started pawing at her cage. Now I have a new forever friend ? from aww

10. Nothing wrong with a tripod dog!

It looks like he’s doing just fine!

Just look at this little tripod I adopted from aww

11. Oh man, this dog rules.

And that is the coolest name I’ve ever seen.

My sister adopted a senior dog – Meet Zombie from aww

12. Society is definitely wrong on this one.

Black cats for the win!

Society says black cats are considered less “adoptable”. Society is wrong. from aww

How about you?

Do you have any rescue dogs or cats in your home?

If so, please share some photos with us in the comments and tell us about them. Thanks!

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Funny “Thoughts of Dog” Tweets That Pooch Owners Will Love

You might think that your dog is just dreaming of chasing squirrels when they are chilling on the couch with you, but I’m here to tell you that there is a whole lot of deep thinking going on in those doggo noggins.

Trust me on this one!

And the “Thoughts of Dog” Twitter account is the perfect portal into what is racing through their minds day in and day out.

Are you ready for some deeeeeeeeeeeep dog thoughts?

Enjoy these tweets and maybe you and your pup should have a conversation tonight, because you’ll probably be looking at them in a whole new light.

1. That’s the one and only thing on the list.

What else do you need?

2. That’s all he’s asking for.

I think your owner is on board with this!

3. Let’s see if we can make this work.

Time to play a game of human/dog Jenga!

4. This is today’s to-do list.

Can you make it happen?

5. No sports, just snacks.

Sounds pretty good to me!

6. I think we can maintain this pace.

No doubt about it!

7. What’s the point of all this?

How am I not supposed to fall asleep?

8. You’re not going anywhere.

And that’s my final decision.

9. Words to live by.

You know it!

10. A little more attention, please?

What’s the hold-up here?

11. Why did you go and do that?

A lot of hard work down the drain.

12. These are all good reasons.

I think you’re on to something!

Do you have a pooch at home?

If so, show us some photos in the comments and introduce us to them.

We can’t wait to meet your furry friends!

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Are You Married? These Funny Tweets Should Look Familiar.

There are some things about marriage that are just universal: arguing over how the dishwasher was arranged, arguing about whose turn it is to take the dog outside, arguing about the wallpaper, etc.

Are you noticing a theme here?

Yes, we’re talking about arguing. And bickering. Because you know it’s all true.

But there’s some really great stuff about marriage, too, right?

Right…?

I’ll let you ponder that question while you read these hilarious tweets about marriage. Enjoy!

1. That thing is now in a landfill.

It was good while it lasted…

2. Remember five years ago…

NEVER LET HIM FORGET.

3. What’s the point of all this?

Mass chaos isn’t going to work in this household.

4. You always have to keep reminding them.

Hey, that’s your JOB.

5. I’m not sure what you’re talking about, honey.

That was a close call.

6. Who knew that this would be rude?

I really had no idea.

7. What’s the WiFi password?

I’ve told you a million times!

8. This is really not easy.

But somebody’s gotta do it.

9. That is what true love is all about.

Life can be beautiful!

10. No, you stop yelling!

And around and around you go.

11. Just keep asking “why” all the time.

It’s enough to drive them crazy!

12. You won this round.

Nice work!

Okay, now we want to hear from all of you out there.

In the comments, give us a life update and tell us how everything is going.

Are you and your spouse getting along or are you both climbing the walls?

We’re here to listen to you!

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Funny Tweets About Marriage That Will Make You LOL

Are you ready to laugh out loud?

I mean, are you REALLY ready to LOL?

Well, you’re in luck, my friends, because we have a heaping helping of hilarious tweets today that are all about one very interesting topic: MARRIAGE.

And we think that these tweets will not only make you laugh, but a bunch of them might even look very familiar to you…because there are some things about marriage that are just universal, as you already know.

Let’s take a look at these hilarious marriage tweets. Start now!

1. That will teach him a lesson.

He shouldn’t have crossed you…

2. That’s way too much.

This would drive me insane.

3. You were supposed to remind me!

What happened? We had a deal!

4. The ultimate marriage flex.

Show them who’s the boss.

5. I’m not sure what you’re referring to.

Good luck with your new diet!

6. I want to know what love is.

And apparently, this is it.

7. This marriage is RED HOT.

I’m getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it.

8. You kind of sound like a baby to me.

I’m just sayin’…

9. Okay, tell me what happened again…

Start from the beginning…

10. This is gonna get ugly.

This is when you need really good friends.

11. Ooooh, that’s the good stuff.

Keepin’ the romance alive!

12. You don’t want to know that.

Just let it remain a mystery.

13. I second this proposal.

It’s a good idea, right?

How about you?

Is the old ball and chain (male or female) driving you nuts?

Talk to us in the comments! We’ll be your new therapists!

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