Month: October 2020

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People Who Wish They’d Listened and Never Met Their Hero

Meeting a “hero,” whether that person is a huge celebrity or just awesome in your eyes for some reason, is a little like playing roulette, and listen – even if you win, it might not have been worth the risk.

They say if you really look up to and admire someone you should never meet them, and based on these 14 stories, I gotta say this sounds like pretty great advice.

14. Have seen this, can confirm.

Went to a Comic Con and the dude who played Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer got absolutely slated by everyone there, including guest celebs.

Why?

He was charging his fans £20 for what was meant to be a free talk. He was the only guest there who did this and then charged £50 for autographs.

Douche.

13. What a complete douchebag.

I was a huge fan of Ryan Cabrera through college. His voice is mediocre at best, and his melodies are simple but catchy. Despite this, I really identified with his lyrics when going through a really bad breakup that spun me off into destructive behavior during the second half of college. Always came back to his music and it eventually got me out.

Fast forward to 2016, and Ryan’s out on tour, I was able to see him perform live for the first time in my life and got the opportunity to meet him after the show. I had rehearsed what I was going to say about how his music kept me going through my darkest times…and he completely brushed me off to hit on my friends.

Haven’t listened to his music since.

12. Not Bill Nye!

Apparently he’s an a**hole that stiffs delivery drivers.

It was in another similar thread.

11. I’d be salty, too.

When I was still in high school my best friend, his older sister and I “met” Adrian Peterson, future Hall of Fame running back for the Minnesota Vikings. And it SUCKED. We all happened to be walking into a mall in the suburbs of Minneapolis at the same time, and he was walking right in front of us.

My buddy and I got all excited, and I made eye contact with him so I knew that he knew we recognized him, but before we could say “Hey Mr. Peterson, big fans,” he held the door open for my friend’s sister, checked out her a$$ and whistled at her, then closed the door right in my friend and I’s faces. Didn’t even want to say anything to him after that. This was 6-7 years ago now and I’m still salty about it.

10. A nice little story.

Back in the mid 90s my old man found a huge 2 metre python in our backyard. He called Australia Zoo and spoke to Steve Irwin on the phone (this was before he really became famous) about how to get rid of it because I was only a toddler at the time and could swallow me whole.

Apparently Steve was super excited even though it was through a phone call and went on about how the python was king of its domain and we shouldn’t disturb it. He talked my Dad into letting it be but about a week later the neighbors came home to find the python on their deck, so they ended up getting it relocated anyway.

Not sure how relevant that is but yeah that’s my Steve Irwin story.

9. If you want your tip, keep your mouth shut.

This was back in the 90s my mom was a waitress at a restaurant and the town we lived in was a frequent sight for filming movies and TV shows, and one day, my mom waited on a table and realized it was Anthony Hopkins with his agent sitting at table ordering breakfast.

After she took their drink order (silence of the lambs was still new). So in the kitchen all of her co-workers were squealing like little girls and dared my mother when taking their breakfast order if he wanted a side of fava beans and a nice chianti. But she chickened out worrying she’d bother him.

She must have done the right thing because he left a 40% tip and wrote on the check excellent food and service.

While he was in town, he ate breakfast there almost everyday, and everyone was just too chicken to be a fan girl about him lol.

8. This makes me sad.

Buzz Aldrin

He was attending a senior design presentation at my school and was basically the guest of honor and got his own little speech. I was really hype because I love space and everything surrounding it. He’s a nice guy but the sad truth is that he’s closer now to just being a senile old man.

A couple times he just kinda stopped talking and forgot where he was. One of the people he brought basically had the job of keeping him on track and had to cut him off a few times because he kept rambling off topic. Really sad to see such an impressive man reduced to that

7. I don’t understand this attitude.

I met Billy Corgan once when he had his side band Zwan.

He was a complete jerk to everyone and acted like he didn’t want to be there (HIS show.)

It forever changed my perception of him.

6. Looks like it’s confirmed.

My wife went to a Pumpkins reunion show years ago.

She said the show was solid but Corgan made the whole crowd roll their eyes when he actually thanked himself at the end of the show.

What a 24-carat wanker.

5. That’s an awkward moment.

I’m not sure how many of you guys are Australians but I met Ben Cousins a couple of years ago while out in Northbridge and the dude was meth-d out of his mind.

Felt so bad to see the bloke in that state, especially with all the hope we all had as his career was finishing up.

4. This is a terrible story. Ugh!

When I was in 2nd grade, I thought Bob Feller (pitcher from the Indians back in the day) was the greatest thing ever. I read about him constantly. When Cleveland opened it’s new Jacob’s Field stadium, he was there signing autographs all day. I went to the exhibition game with my dad.

Around 10pm we were walking to our car in the lot, and my dad notices Bob Feller is like ten feet away walking with some guy. He’s like – Do you want to ask him for an autograph? So I go over there, this tiny little white haired blonde girl, and I was like “Excuse me Mr. Feller, can I have your autograph?”

He turns to me and is like “God damnit, no. I’ve been signing autographs all day, I’m not signing another one, jesus christ.”

I didn’t know what to do so I just kinda froze and walked back to my dad and teared up. My dad was so sad because he knew he was my hero, so he took the paper from me and was like “Mr. Feller would you reconsider? She’s 8, she reads about you every night, you’re her hero.” He was like “Give me the god damn paper!” Signed his name real quick, and my dad thanked him so much and walked back to me to give it to me. He was like “Here honey!”

Loud enough for Feller to hear (which was an accident lol), I was like “i dont want it anymore.”

After telling that story here and there I found out apparently he is a huge dick and has a reputation for being constantly nasty. Oh well.

3. This comment about Chris Pratt hasn’t aged well.

Every celebrity with a social media account except for Chris Pratt and Tom Hanks.

2. A memory that will last a lifetime.

Wasn’t really my hero, but I met Billy Mays awhile back when he was visiting a local Giant Eagle grocery store for some reason or another. I think they had the money for him to come in and plug some product in-store.

Anyway, my mom worked at this particular Giant Eagle and she met him before I came into work. She had him sign an autograph for me before begging him to do her a favor.

That favor was charging in my direction down an aisle shouting “CLEAN YOUR ROOM, MANGIYKO”. Funny and a great memory thinking back on it, but I nearly shat my pants at the time.

1. There are good people, too!

My dad met a relation of Steven Fry’s (Qi) who at the time was/is my absolute hero for his narrations of the Harry Potter audio books. I am dyslexic and couldn’t read them myself so I used to just listen to him read them over and over again.

Anyway my dad got chatting with this relation and the topic turned to family and to Stephen and then how much he meant to me.

About a month later I received the Order of the Phoenix cd box set signed to me by Stephen. I still cherish it. Sure it’s not me meeting my hero but him taking the time to do that shows all about how great a man he is.

Most of the celebs I’ve met have been mildly disappointing or just kind of meh, except for Joshua Jackson who was obviously amazing.

If you’ve got a story like this, please share it – good or bad – in the comments!

The post People Who Wish They’d Listened and Never Met Their Hero appeared first on UberFacts.

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Sandwich Shop Employees Share the Weirdest Thing a Customer Ever Ordered

I’ve never had the pleasure of working in a sandwich shop, but I have waited tables, and let me tell you – just when you think people can no longer surprise you, they definitely will.

There is no shortage of weirdness when you work in a customer-facing role, but even so, these 15 sub-shop orders are pretty out there.

15. I’ve been pregnant and this seems extra.

Don’t work there any more, but the one order that sticks in my mind above everything else was one time a guy came in on the phone to order two sandwiches and he explained one was for his 7 months pregnant wife so to please make it right, he has a list of exactly what she wants. So I made it exactly how it was written down, then made his and he paid and all was good in the world.

Then maybe ten minutes later the phone rings and I answer it and there is this woman on the phone just screaming at me telling me I made her sandwich wrong and how she wanted ranch instead of mayo and blah blah and that she would send her husband in to get it remade, ya know full Karen minus the “let me speak to the manager” bit. So the guy comes back in and I immediately recognize him and he’s apologizing profusely explaining that his wife is pregnant and hormones and whatnot, and I assured him I’ve been yelled at for less it’s no big deal I’ll remake it at no charge, he has the offending sandwich, I remake it right and throw the old one away, and as I’m ringing up the order(even though it was free it still had to be rung up at $0 for bread count accuracy) the phone rings.

So I hand the man his sandwich and answer the phone and there is this woman on the phone hysterically crying on the other end and so I ask if she’s alright and she informs me that she called earlier and she felt horrible about yelling at me because she realized she wrote it down wrong and it wasn’t my fault and the whole time I’m just awkwardly telling her that it’s okay, no big deal we got it taken care of, you’re okay don’t worry about it, It’s no big deal. And then she, still sobbing, asks me straight up “do you forgive me?” And I said “it’s all good no worries” and she said “No. Do you forgive me?” And I said “yeah dont worry about it” and she asked again “but do you forgive me?” And I replied “yes, I forgive you. Have a great night ma’am.” After which she hung up.

I still remember that even seven years later because it was the only time I’ve ever had a customer call back not only to apologize, but crying about it as well. Ironically for the question I don’t actually remember what the specific sandwich was, I wanna say it was an oven roasted chicken breast but I truly am just taking a shot in the dark.

14. What on EARTH.

I worked in a pizza place and at one point we had a man walk in and order a personal cheese pizza. Then he specified that he wanted no sauce. Then added that he wanted no cheese. Then decided he’d like to add uncooked cherry tomatoes as a topping.

We ended up cooking a slab of dough and throwing some cherry tomatoes on top. He then proceeded to use the pizza crust as a plate for his tomatoes, then threw the crust away after finishing his tomatoes. We had a salad bar with the exact same tomatoes as well.

13. The customer is always right.

We had frozen egg disks that we were supposed to heat in the oven. I say egg, but really it was more of a frozen circle of egg whites with a yellow piece in the middle (that may or may not be missing depending on luck of the draw).

This one guy would come in every shift I had and order just the egg circle, but didn’t want us to heat it up. We handed him hard, frozen, disgusting looking, disks that sounded like rocks when banged against the counter, covered in ice flakes.

He barely spoke English, so the first time he showed up we were very confused to say the least. But once we understood he was very happy with his egg hockey pucks.

12. I wonder if they were all for him?

Back in High School, I worked at the local subway.

Every night, 30 minutes to an hour before close, this large African American man built like an NFL linebacker would come in, and no matter how many or what kinds, would clean out whatever was left of our cookies for the night.

Two Oatmeal Raisins? A dozen Chocolate Chip? A smattering of everything? Didn’t matter, he’d purchase every single cookie left and leave.

We nicknamed him Cookie Monster.

11. This is my people.

“What can I get for you?”

“I’ll get a 6-inch Honey Wheat, just condiments.”

“Just condiments?”

“just condiments. All of them, if you don’t mind.”

That day ruled.

10. Sauce is life.

My town had a lot of foreign exchange students from South Korea and they would always order the meatball subs with scoops of “seafood sensation” which was just mayo and imitation crab. Then have it toasted, it smelled horrible.

Also had a guy that could barely talk he was so high wanted every sauce on his chicken bacon ranch, it was more soup by the end. Then he gets to the register and he remembers he doesn’t have any money and walks away. My manager actually asked anyone if they wanted it.

9. An adult eating a cheese sandwich. Okaaayyy.

I worked at Subway many years ago. There was a couple that would come in semi-regularly and she wanted just a double helping of American cheese on white bread. No veggies, no condiments. Just cheese. I never charged her for the extra cheese since I figured the veggies she wasn’t getting offset it.

Eventually she started asking for more and more cheese until it was easily 10x what came on it. She must have been bummed when I quit. That cheese sandwich probably would have cost about $10 if someone who gave a shit rang it up.

8. Imagine living like that.

Worked the night shift for Subway during college. Had a regular come in at 3am usually that would request that we toast the shit out of his sandwich. I’m talking the whole thing was basically charcoal.

First time he came in while i was on shift, I pulled his sandwich out of the toaster and he told me to put it back in…and again… and again. I thought he was a drunk guy fucking with me.

Apparently he really liked the taste of burnt everything. Grossed me out, but as long as he paid I didn’t really care.

7. How, though.

I worked at a subway a long time ago and a guy would order two full bags of lettuce on his sandwich every day.

Imagine 2 pounds of lettuce on some bread.

He would order often enough that I knew to go in the back and grab two full bags just for him.

6. Did my 3yo escape?

This one guy used to come into my sub shop at least twice a week.

Always ordered a steak and cheese with extra, extra ketchup. Except you couldn’t put enough ketchup on it.

We could use over half a bottle and he would still come back and ask for the bottle because “packets took too much time.”

5. You can never have too much lettuce I guess.

My wife worked in the student center when we were in college. I was hanging out with her once while she was closing up an event, and the school catering was there cleaning up their leftover food. I think they had had a build-your-own taco line set up, so there was this giant bowl of shredded lettuce.

A girl came up to the catering staff and was like “oh are you guys just throwing that lettuce away?” They said they were. She said “I’m a vegan so I eat a ton of lettuce, can I have it?” They we’re confused but said sure. So she went over and got a plastic bag from the chick-fil-a and dumped that whole bowl of lettuce in there and went on her merry way.

4. Mayo people.

I worked at a Burger King my junior year of high school (Not a sandwich shop, but play along). I was on specialty board (chicken and fish mainly). This order came through for an original chicken with “HHHH mayo”. “H” in the training stood for heavy or extra.

I asked my manager if it was a typo and they said no this guy comes in once a week for that sandwich. I swear, by the time my manager said the sandwich was “proper”, the mayo was thicker than the chicken patty itself. I felt like I needed to bathe afterwards.

3. “I’m actually messed up.”

Was getting breakfast at this place called “The great Canadian Bagel Company”. The girl ahead of us gets a breakfast sandwich with extra mayo and then says: “like a serious amount of mayo, more than you think is comfortable”. The guy does a solid 4 servings and she shakes her head in disgust/shame and is like “No.. I’m actually messed up, I need more mayo”.

Took everything in me not to laugh as it happened.

2. Probably keto.

I used to work at McDonald’s. We had a regular customer who wanted a plain quarter pounder, no bun, extra extra extra extra extra pickles.

Basically, just a 1/4lb beef patty with like a half cup of pickle slices on top of it.

1. Learn something new every day.

Quiznos. Mostly working with teens.

This one kid brings in a bunch of tupperwares at the beginning of his shift. Weird, but I don’t care.

End of his shift (edit 3: not closing time, we had a line-up) and his mom shows up to give him a lift. He starts filling the tupperwares with chili.

Turns out his mom tried it one day and loved it. Whole family tried: they all love it.

They’d made a deal with our boss to buy bulk chili every week.

I would…never eat these abominations. Just. What?

If you’ve got a story to add to this heap, we’d love to hear it in the comments!

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Wholesome ‘Great British Bake Off’ Tweets That’ll Brighten up Your Day

Few things are better than watching a dozen bakers bring their creations to life under a tent in the British countryside.

The Great British Bake Off presents the perfect escape from our devastating reality.

Here are 13 wholesome tweets from the amazing show across the pond that’ll just brighten up your day.

1. Happy Halloween?

That’s one way to get a little spooky for the fall season.

2. That’s better than expected!

This Freddie Mercury didn’t turn out so bad.

3. Really – he looks great

He’s putting Rami Malek to shame.

4. This

When I saw that during the first episode, I screeched. What a way to start your season.

5. The purest thing ever

I mean, come on. Look at this.

6. It’s the only bad thing about show

Everyone is so pleasant and supportive. It’s torture to see them leave.

7. Awkward

Well, now there’s a giant target on her back.

8. Turn and face the strange…

Ch-ch-changes…

9. Great collab!

A rare photo where these two music titans look like they’re actually getting along

10. Just pure insanity

Cakes that look like people, political satire, the near-destruction of one of music’s greatest icons – what more could you want out of a season premiere?

11. This can’t be real

Does this cake look more like Tom DeLonge or Steve Buscemi? Or does Steve Buscemi actually look like Tom Delonge…

12. Hello there

The angel from my nightmare. Yeah, this is pretty nightmarish.

13. Truly shocking

I very much cannot process the shape of his head.

Well, that took an interesting turn. Who knew that the folks behind The Great British Bake Off could be so sadistic? I’d give points for creativity, though.

What are some of your favorite moments from The Great British Bake Off? Share with us in the comments below!

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Times When People Used Logic to Create Some Cold Burns

There are some days when it can seem like there’s no point in employing logic to make an argument on the internet. Even less so, you can’t really expect other people to recognize or even care that your words make sense – they often don’t.

That said, there’s still something satisfying for some of us in seeing logic deployed in such a manner – and these 9 people definitely won the day, even if their opponent will never recognize it.

9. It’s really a case-by-case thing.

Neither of these people seem very happy with their experiences.

Same logic destruction from MurderedByWords

8. Some people were raised to mind their business.

An excellent life lesson, if I do say so myself.

That’s me that replied to the tweet from MurderedByWords

7. So I guess…don’t make this for someone you actually love.

That’s a lot of big feelings about a sandwich.

Don’t mess with a hungry mans sandwich from MurderedByWords

6. Short, sweet, and absolutely true.

Yikes. Why even have kids if you just hate them?

Guilty has punished from MurderedByWords

5. When you roast all of Reddit in one short post.

Major upvotes. Ha!

This guy just roasted all of Reddit. from MurderedByWords

4. Some things don’t translate.

Not exactly, anyway.

Grammar lessons from MurderedByWords

3. First, imagine this with a British accent.

And you knew that joke was coming, right?

Probably got a sad British voice in their head saying "bit sad innit?" from MurderedByWords

2. Bi people get the short end of the stick.

Except for the part where they get to makeout with everyone.

Oh no, the French are invading France from MurderedByWords

1. What on earth is wrong with people?

It’s water.

Polite cleaning lady pretty much fired some privileged cheap jerks who wanted a discount because she dared to refill her bottle of water. (Found it on Twitter @ NatashaWriting). from MurderedByWords

 

Satisfying, right? I love it when logic wins the day… if only for a day. Because, as we all know, there’s no way that logic wins even half the time. Don’t even get me started.

Which one of these made you fist-pump in your chair? Do a happy dance?

Tell us in the comments!

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11 Times Hard Logic Won the Day on the Internet

When it comes to being online, logic doesn’t necessarily figure in when you’re talking about winning or losing arguments.

You can get on Twitter or Facebook or Reddit all day and have THE best arguments… but somebody will just throw some nonsense out there, put an “lol” at the end of it, and call it a day. And you will feel absolutely defeated. Because they just don’t care.

Sometimes, though, it definitely does, and on those days – like these 11 – we all have cause to celebrate.

11. I mean, he’s not wrong.

Where’s the lie?

Fortnite trash from MurderedByWords

10. Yeah you’re not the boss of us!

Don’t do this if you want to have friends.

Snob is put back in their place after gatekeeping language! from clevercomebacks

9. A very wholesome burn.

Not very Terminator like, but nice.

I love Arnold’s wholesome murders from MurderedByWords

8. Go, girl.

You gotta fist-bump her for this one.

I think she’ll be just fine. from MurderedByWords

7. Not as much about their stomachs as their wallets, methinks.

I mean. It’s just a theory.

Millennials are destroying the eating industry from MurderedByWords

6. True story.

The Ancient Romans were big on facts and figures and science, my friend.

Flat Earthers should be canceled from MurderedByWords

5. I mean…fair observation.

I’m just saying.

Fuckin’ war criminals, I tell ya from MurderedByWords

4. You sure can tell more than I thought on the internet.

Like if someone is a flavorless pancake.

Flavourless pancake got spiced up. from MurderedByWords

3. Accurate assessment.

Maybe not down to the letter, but somewhere in there.

Man elegantly destroys helicopter parent from MurderedByWords

2. Schooled on your own religion.

You’d be surprised how often this happens. Or not.

Attempting to shame someone for not “attending sunday school” from quityourbullshit

1. What’s good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander.

Or something like that.

Just let people enjoy what they want to smh from MurderedByWords

I’d like to feel sorry for these people but I just don’t. I’ve lost all sense of empathy for people online.

If that makes me wrong I don’t want to be right.

Have you ever run into people like this? Let me know in the comments!

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Parenting Tweets You Don’t Want to Miss

If you’re wondering if you’re the only person out there with crazy kids, a life that always feels up in the air, and a job that just won’t quit – in the year on steroids – you’re definitely not.

And if you need proof, let me offer up these 14 parents who are hilariously muddling through it all, just like the rest of us.

14. It’s important to be practical.

I approve of this parenting tactic.

13. Just living the dream here, people.

The things no one tells you, I swear.

12. Given the current state of the world, they’re learning it sooner.

Dammit.

11. This child is going places.

Not sure where yet; have to wait and see.

10. They weren’t bothering you though.

I fail to see the issue.

9. Never rob a house with young kids.

Or older kids parents don’t have money or nice things lol.

8. Hey, you gotta ask for what you want.

Otherwise you won’t get it for sure.

7. A “miracle.” Sure.

Let’s go with that.

6. Otherwise you could be taken straight jail.

I don’t make the rules, guys.

5. You can say you’ve had your workout today.

Now go and get a glass of wine.

4. She handled that about as well as can be expected.

Which is to say, probably laughing herself to death.

3. It’s never really what you expect on any given day.

That keeps it interesting, I suppose.

2. Kid has your number.

That’s what you get for raising him right.

1. But seriously don’t do this.

It’s terrible advice.

I’m definitely feeling more at home in my zany life!

What’s the silliest happening at your house since all of this started? We’d love to hear the story in the comments!

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Celebrity Moms Who Aren’t Shy About Their Postpartum Bodies

For too long, celebrities who had children have pretended for the cameras that getting back into shape was quick and easy. That gestating, birthing, and feeding a baby somehow didn’t change their bodies in the same, permanent ways as the rest of us.

Now, though, with social media, and more and more women willing to celebrate the changes the years and experiences mark on our bodies, celeb moms are seizing the opportunity to just let their postpartum body heal while they appreciate it for what its given them.

11. That dark line down the belly does go away.

You and Cardi B might find you miss it one day.

10. When the VMAs take a backseat to just getting through the days.

Katy Perry looking very real and I love it!

Image Credit: Katy Perry

9. Amy Schumer says mom comfort is key.

And honestly those underwear aren’t that bad.

8. Just in case you thought you could put those maternity clothes away.

Tia Mowry keeping it real about the post-baby bump.

View this post on Instagram

7 weeks #postpartum. Some #pregnant women after giving birth no longer have a belly after 7 weeks. While others it may take a little longer. Me, I’m the latter. I remember after giving birth to Cree, my belly didn’t all of a sudden go flat. I did have a C-Section, (as well as with my second pregnancy) and I thought something was wrong with me. I had seen in magazines the many women on the beach a few weeks #postpartum in a two piece. To be honest, it had to take time for me to embrace my new body. With this second pregnancy, I now have embraced that fact that I’ve housed a human being. A miracle. A life. If it takes a while for me to get back to my normal self, than so be it. This.Is.Me. And I love me. ❤ #momlife #motherhood #7weeks

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7. Your body can do wonderful things!

You get a reminder of that every day.

View this post on Instagram

It’s been 9 months since I’ve had Aydin. It’s also been 9 months since anyone, including my husband has seen my stomach after giving birth but here I am posting it for the world to see. Some might scroll by and think “ugh that’s so disgusting why would she post that” and that’s okay. But a lot of you will see it and feel a sense of relief. I constantly see perfect women on my timeline and some days it really makes me feel down. “Why did she not get any stretch marks after having her baby?” “How does she look so perfect and I look like this?” These are some of the thoughts that go through my mind. I would post photos that hid my flaws & made me look amazing, thinking it would make me feel better. I would get comments saying things like “It’s not fair you look so good after having a baby” etc… and it would actually make me feel terrible because I felt like I was making others feel bad about themselves when I myself felt the same way they did! I want to show you the imperfect side of Instagram so you know you’re not alone. It’s time to stop comparing. The day I found out I was pregnant I started using oils and creams religiously thinking it was going to save me from any marks on my belly. I checked every day to see if any had shown up. It was around 8 months pregnant I started to see some marks and by the end of my pregnancy I had TONS of marks & discoloration. I went from 98 pounds to a total of 150 pounds. I cried a lot but I cried even more once I looked at myself in the mirror after I gave birth. I don’t think I looked in the mirror again for weeks. So now 9 months later I’ve decided it’s enough of feeling bad about how I look. God gave me a beautiful child so why has it made me feel as bad as it does? It’s so unimportant. My child is happy healthy and I couldn’t ask for more. But social media has brainwashed so many of us into thinking our outside appearance is more important than it actually is. Ive decided to share this even though it makes me 100% vulnerable to all of you and your judgements. I’m here to show you that we aren’t perfect. We all have flaws, and here is one of mine. I want you to feel better about yours and not be ashamed. Whether it’s t

A post shared by Sadia (@sadiaslayy) on

6. Stretch marks are a thing so many women deal with.

Even Ashley Graham. No shame.

View this post on Instagram

same me. few new stories.

A post shared by A S H L E Y G R A H A M (@ashleygraham) on

5. Our bodies are ours.

That makes them great.

4. Nothing wrong with that!

Chrissy Teigen is a queen.

3. Even professional dancers out there preaching the truth.

It took time to grow that baby, it will take time to shrink your belly.

2. How cute is Catherine Giudici (of Bachelor fame)?

Before, after, in between!

View this post on Instagram

She escaped! #1weekpost

A post shared by Catherine (Giudici) Lowe (@catherinegiudici) on

1. It’s all about how you feel.

Stay off the scale.

 

If you can get your mind to this place, ladies, I promise those harried, crazy, too-fast first months will be just a little less stressful.

Share with me your favorite postpartum moment – I know it’s there among all of the rest!

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Hilarious Tweets From Dads Just Like You

I’ve been writing these tweet lists for a long time, but I’m still not ready to weigh in on whether moms or dads have cornered the market on internet humor.

There is one thing I can say for sure, though – dads definitely have their own patented brand of jokes. Which is obviously something these 12 dads have cashed in on in a big way.

12. She will, too.

On the upside, you probably don’t really need another pair of socks, anyway.

Image Credit: Twitter

11. That will definitely do it.

I think the church should look into that.

Image Credit: Twitter

10. Why would they do it any earlier?

They’re not about helping you out.

Image Credit: Twitter

9. Some things just aren’t worth fighting about.

Especially not when they’re hilarious.

Image Credit: Twitter

8. Weird kids are my favorite.

As long as they don’t kill me in my sleep.

Image Credit: Twitter

7. Skills for a lifetime, my friends.

You absolutely can never laugh when you shouldn’t with kids.

Image Credit: Twitter

6. It’s a good skill to have.

Being prepared is also advisable.

Image Credit: Twitter

5. She’s obviously a genius so.

No arguments here.

Image Credit: Twitter

4. She probably knew what she was doing.

That, or she just really likes you with a beard.

Image Credit: Twitter

3. You’ve gotta admire his thinking.

You don’t have to give him the popsicle, though.

Image Credit: Twitter

2. They’re so sweet.

I mean, at least he’s going to miss you.

Image Credit: Twitter

1. Rage cleaning is the only way to live.

Or the only way to ensure other people live, anyway.

Image Credit: Twitter

Dad jokes are welcome here any time, y’all. I love it.

What’s your favorite dad joke? I want to hear all of the best ones in the comments!

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How Your Tattoos Might Be Messing With Your Sweat Glands

Tattoos are very common today. Back in the day, only fun ladies and military dudes (or I suppose convicts) really sported ink on a regular basis, but since the nineties, they’ve continued to trend as a common, if permanent, accessory.

Perhaps that’s why scientists are really just beginning to wonder whether or not there could be any long- or short-term effects of having ink deposited right beneath your skin – and this recent study seems to conclude that one of those effects could be a poor ability to sweat.

Image Credit: Pixabay

The paper was published in the Journal of Applied Physiology, and featured a pretty small sample size of 10 participants. The subjects wore tube-lined suits containing warm water, which induced them to sweat – though skin covered by a tattoo or tattoos produced 15% less sweat than skin left unmarked.

This research joins more like it, like another small 2017 study that used an electric current to produce sweat, and found that inked skin produced 50% less perspiration, but is belied by at least one study that found no difference in sweating ability between inked and non-inked skin.

Image Credit: Pexels

There doesn’t seem to be conclusive evidence, nor does the study make any comment on why or how a tattoo could affect one’s ability to sweat.

For now, it seems like you’re safe to continue amassing as much ink as you like, though if this does eventually prove to be an issue, the more tattoos you have, the more trouble you might have cooling off on a hot day.

Image Credit: Pexels

Then again, people with full body tattoos have been staying cool with no trouble since forever, so you’re probably fine either way.

You do you, my friend, and leave the scientists to their business.

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You Might Want to Center Your Holiday Decor Around These Adorable Baby Grinch Dolls

You’ve probably spent years perfecting the balance of Santa, Mrs. Claus, the reindeers, and that blasted Elf on the Shelf that litter your shelves, walls, mantles, and the like, but listen – sometimes, when something adorable and delightful comes along, you have to be willing to mix things up.

And as family holiday films go, who doesn’t love How the Grinch Stole Christmas?

It’s sweet, wholesome, funny, has a great message (plus Jim Carrey!), and the best part?

Image Credit: Etsy

No one expects these cute little baby Grinches to move and get into some kind of trouble every night.

The dolls are 18 inches long, weighted, and hand-painted – the latter part is the reason one will set you back around $300.

Image Credit: Etsy

They’re from the Etsy shop Worbla Crafts, where you can also nab yourself a Pennywise doll for your autumnal decor, or a Baby Yoda doll that’s obviously perfect year round.

Image Credit: Etsy

The baby Grinch, modeled on the baby we meet in Carrey’s version of the story, has green fuzzy fur/hair all over its head, arms, and legs. It comes with a Christmas outfit and a baby blanket, so it’s ready for its spot in your household – one I’m positive it will occupy for years to come.

Image Credit: Etsy

You can request a doll to be made and shipped to you in around 3 weeks, and you’ll get to choose its outfit in that case, as well.

One sort of looks like something Santa would wear, and one is a candy-can striped pajamas and a matching hat – you know, the sort of thing your kiddos refuse to wear for you any more!

I don’t know about you, but this one seems like it might be worth the splurge!

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