People Admit How They’d Spend $1 Million on Their Favorite Hobbies

This would be a tough proposition for me…

If I had to pick one hobby to spend $1 million on, what would it be?

Old hockey memorabilia? Old movie posters? Books? Records?

The possibilities are endless!

But it sure is fun to think about, isn’t it?

If you had to spend a million bucks on your favorite hobby, what would you buy?

Let’s check out what AskReddit users said about this!

1. Sounds like a plan.

“I’d buy some land and start planting cotton, bamboo, make linen, order silk, start making my own!

I’m allergic to most animal hair and it’s difficult to find any yarn without it! I’d also learn how to wind my own yarn and dye it as well!

I’m too excited about this idea…”

2. Nerd alert! But good for you!

“Brand new top end rig, new networking gear, A.V. set up, nice desk, decent office chair.

Maybe a new sofa should all fall under gaming, maybe a house to so you plenty of space for it too.”

3. There you go!

“With a million dollars I’m making my own car from scratch.

I’m thinking fully custom NA flat 12, around 6.0L, in a semi-monocoque chassis with CFRP panels and manual, 6 speed double clutch gearbox…

Designing the parts would be as much fun as building it and that would be as much fun as driving it.”

4. Wow.

“I have an affinity for fountain pens. Given that a Montblanc Geometry Solitaire Meisterstück is £1250 I could get a lot of nice pens for that amount.

The Fulgor Nocturnus pen was sold at auction for 8 million, so I could perhaps find something in between the Fulgor Nocturnus and a Meisterstück.”

5. I like this!

“I’d buy a house to store all my books.

Or build my own multilevel library with sliding ladders.”

6. Perfect!

“I like hiking and conservation.

So I would buy a bunch of land, a house and live there while I transform it into a more valuable ecosystem.”

7. And…action!

“ALL THE FILM EQUIPMENT I’VE EVER DREAMT OF.

All the software I could never afford, the cameras, the studio, the actors and crew, the props and lights and…..jeez I would be in heaven.”

8. See you there!

“Cannabis farm in a recreational state with an on site home for my family of 3 humans and 4 animals.”

9. Good plan.

“I’m a woodworker.

I’d buy some cheap land way up North, get a bunch of durable hand tools, hire skilled craftsmen, and have them crank out free toys for children.

For only a million, I can’t give things to all children, so I’ll make a list of only the most needy and worthy.

Sometime when it’s the dead of winter, I’ll deliver those toys. I’m skipping 2020 though, seems to dangerous out there.”

10. Turn it up!

“I’m a musician.

I’d probably hire someone for marketing, make t-shirts, press some CDs, and book some high-quality recording sessions.

Oh, and definitely a new acoustic guitar, which I badly need.”

11. This old house.

“I like renovating 1970s houses.

So I guess 3/4 of a house in Toronto, or 50 houses in Detroit.

I think I’d have more fun in Detroit.”

12. Cycling.

“First I’d buy the best bicycle money can buy.

Titanium frame, custom cut to my exact measurements, and built with all the best components. That will “only’ set me back about $10,000. Then I’ll upgrade all my camping equipment with the best of the best. Again we’ll say $10,000 but that’s probably a large overestimation.

What would I do with the other $980,000? I’d load all that super fancy camping gear onto the bicycle and spend the next several years cycling all around the world. I’d fly to New Zealand first, and bike the whole length of both islands. Then Australia.

I’d ride from southeast Asia to England, somehow working in a detour down to Africa. Then from Alaska all the way to the southern tip of South America (I’ve already booked across most of the Continental US, so I’m ok with flying over that this time).

All along the way, that million dollars would be buying my food, paying visa fees and airline tickets between continents. Traveling by bicycle is a relatively cheap way of traveling, at least when you’re camping instead of just cycling from one hotel to the next.

A million bucks would be enough to ride around the world several times over, even while treating myself to the occasional hotel along the way.”

13. A writer’s life.

“My hobby is writing.

The writing part is cheap. I can do it on a Chromebook using Google Docs. I even published a novel spending about $300. (Mostly book cover design and copies to give/sell to people.)

However, after this part is where things get expensive. Once you’ve published a book, you need to convince people to read it. There are so many books on Amazon and I’m an unknown writer so even if someone happens to stumble upon my book they won’t know why they should read it.

Trust me, virtually nobody will stumble upon your book, buy it, read it, and tell a hundred friends to do the same.

In addition, my first book was looked over by some friends/family as beta readers for free. (Well, I gave them a copy of my book, but it was still cheap.)

The problem I ran into for the sequel was that I needed people who had read Book 1 so they could critique Book 2. Given so few people read the first book, it proved a difficult task and that book remains unpublished.

Going back to the question, I’d give part of the money to a professional editor to critique my book as many times as needed until it was perfect. Then, I’d pay a great artist to design an eye catching cover (instead of the inexpensive bare bones cover my first book had).

Next, I’d hire someone to promote my book(s) far and wide. Finally, I’d pay someone to professionally record an audiobook version of my novel(s).

Of course, all of this would probably cost about $10,000. (This is off the top of my head estimate.) A lot of money for me right now, but a drop in the million dollar bucket. The million dollars would be enough to help me with 100 books.”

14. I’m assuming this is for Dungeons and Dragons.

“Forget about leather bound special editions of all sourcebooks, expensive dice (rare materials, custom made, electronic, weird shapes, etc), and hand-painted miniatures for days. That’s just getting started.

We’re going to build an immersive experience.

First, the play area: build a beach house with 6 rooms for the players, 4 bathrooms (2 up, 2 down), a full kitchen, den, back deck over the water, and our gaming Dungeon.

The Dungeon: Glass display cases for figurines w/fantasy motif woodwork. Bookshelves for source and splat books and character creation materials. Leather sectional with a flat screen for character creation and breaks. A wet bar, because we’re civilized adults. The Gaming Table. And The Wardrobe. Custom AV system.

The wardrobe: a walk-in closet with props like fake shoulder parrots, rapiers, and staves for players and outfit accessories like wide leather belts, scarves, and hats.

Custom AV: preset surround sound and light settings all controlled from the DM’s laptop for at-the-fingers control of background sounds, music, and mood lighting.

The Gaming Table: Seats 8. Each rolling leather office chair will have its own included upper shelf for dice, pencils, etc and a lower shelf for tablet, character sheets, etc, their own built-in dice tower, a fold out drink holder for our pewter dragon goblets.

2 charging ports for devices both usb and regular outlets. And, the selling point: built-in touchscreen laptops connected to the DM’s LAN network for private messaging the DM and for distribution of visual aids.

The tabletop: 3d printed modal mix-and-match, magnetic dungeon pieces integrated with the table’s magnets.”

Now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us how you’d spend a million bucks on your favorite hobby.

Please and thank you!

The post People Admit How They’d Spend $1 Million on Their Favorite Hobbies appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss What They Think Are the Best Moments in Film History

When discussing films, the possibilities about what are the best moments in the history of cinema are pretty much endless, depending on who you’re talking to.

You could go in a million different directions: silent film, Japanese, French, gangsters, period pieces, 1960s, the list goes on and on!

What do you think is the most epic moment in the history of cinema?

Let’s see what AskReddit users had to say.

1. A great one!

“The graveyard scene in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

I’ve shown my kids a movie every Friday night since my oldest was 3 (11 now), and that’s our favorite. I can pull it up at any random time and everyone will stop what they are doing and silently watch it.

Eli Wallach as Tuco is the greatest anti-hero and one of the greatest performances in film history.”

2. Pretty amazing.

“Historically speaking, I think when everything is suddenly in color in “The Wizard of Oz,” after the first few scenes were in sepia.

That technology was revolutionary for the time.”

3. I remember it well. 

“The point where you’re introduced to the dinosaurs of Jurassic Park.

A turning point of CGI in movies along side the amazing score.

Still gives me goose bumps.”

4. A classic.

“12 Angry Men.

Juror 8 puts Juror 3’s coat on for him.

It means so much in context with the rest of the movie that just this small act of kindness can have that much of an impact on someone’s life.

It’s really beautiful.”

5. I love the smell of napalm…

“The Flight of the Valkyries scene from Apocalypse Now.

Kilgore’s air calvary taking Charlie’s point.”

6. Back in time!

“Back to the Future.

George punching Biff.

George kissing Lorraine and saving Marty from non-existence.

Marty successfully returning to 1985 just as Doc hooks up the lightning cable.

The Doc reveals he was wearing a bullet proof vest.

“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need….roads”

The DeLorean flies into the camera – the END.

The whole end of the movie is one air-punch moment after another.”

7. What a great movie.

“Shawshank Redemption.

Spoiler ahead.

The way it is hyped that Andy might have committed suicide, it’s raining, its thunderous, he doesn’t come out the next day.

And then, we find out that he actually escaped.”

8. Unforgettable.

“”Get away from her you b*tch!”

Ellen Ripley to the Queen Alien

Smashed it.”

9. Solid.

“Gladiator.

Russell Crowe revealing himself as Maximus to Commodus in the arena was pretty legit.”

10. Powerful.

“Oskar Schindler, at the end of the film, realizing that he could’ve saved more Jews.

And Itzhak Stern and others telling him “He who saves a single life, saves the world entire.”

11. Intense.

“The opening of Saving Private Ryan.

Probably the most effective part of that scene is at the very beginning — the camera holds on several faces aboard the landing craft, leading the audience to believe these would be the protagonists, the main cast members.

Then you see one of them get nailed right in the forehead by enemy fire as soon as the doors open. Now you don’t know who is going to live or die, except for maybe Tom Hanks.”

12. Indiana Jones to the rescue.

“The angels coming out of the Ark of the Covenant looking beautiful and sublime, but then turning into terrifying beings that burn the Nazis to death in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Because the Nazis are evil.”

13. Goosebumps.

“The Lion King (1994).

When Simba is making his way up Pride Rock after defeating Scar and the Hyenas.

Incredibly powerful moment, and I still get goosebumps every time I watch that scene.”

14. Creepy stuff.

“The “What’s in the Box” scene from Seven.

I still have not rewatched that movie as the reveal was so epic I knew I could never feel that way about it again.”

15. Epic!

“The car chase from The Blues Brothers.

It’s a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.”

16. Good memories.

“For me it’s the Millennium Falcon blasting out of the fireball of the second Death Star in Return of the Jedi.

I was 10 and I wanted to jump and run around the theater screaming in triumph right along with Lando and Nien Numb.”

17. Never gets old.

“Roy Scheider in Jaws.

A half burned cigarette hanging on his lip while chumming the water to entice the shark, then says “We’re gonna need a bigger boat” just after the shark momentarily pops his head from the water.”

Okay, film buffs, now we want to hear from you!

What are some of your favorite moments in cinema history?

Talk to us in the comments! Thanks!

The post People Discuss What They Think Are the Best Moments in Film History appeared first on UberFacts.

Haunted House Workers Discuss the Best Reactions They’ve Seen From Customers

I’ve never worked in a haunted house, but some of my friends did at the really big ones in Kansas City and they always had hilarious and ridiculous stories to tell us about how the paying customers responded to being terrified by them and other workers.

Sometimes, my friends even got punched in the face for their hard work. How’s that for being thanked for a good scare…?

We’re about to read some stories about great reactions from haunted house patrons.

Let’s get freaky with folks on AskReddit!

1. That was close.

“I got one of those really big buff men to let out the highest pitched scream I’ve ever heard.

He almost punched me but stopped himself.”

2. Here we go.

“I have several stories. Done it for years.

I was once knocked out. Worked in a house with a “scare room” where you peak behind blacked out curtains. You’re not supposed to lean farther than the window sill but sometimes you’re just in the moment. A guy turned a corner and was looking at the black light work on the wall and didn’t notice me right beside him.

I leaned as close as I could to him and just whispered to him. He collapsed to the ground and reached for anything he could grab. Grabbed the back of my head and I slammed my head into the sill.

Next thing I know I’m on the ground of the scare room. A co-worker steps over me and hands me a bottle of ibuprofen lol.

I was once Nosferatu and scared a guy so bad he tried to clear the corner of rocks and props instead of run around it. He fell and tumbled down the other side breaking three fingers.

Another time I was part of a blacklight clown maze. The walls were fence. We kept jumping back and forth on the fences and this woman became so exhausted from screaming she passed out.

We had to shut it down for a while until paramedics could arrive and get her out. She was terrified of clowns so we couldn’t be around her when she was waking up. We had to get our management out there for her while we waited outside.”

3. This sounds like a fun place.

“I was part of a hillbilly haunted house, my role is to hide near the entrance and jump out with a bloody spade to scare the visitors as they enter the house. I will then call out for my ‘little brother’ whom i call ‘baby’.

The line goes: “Hey babeh! We got more play things!”

One time, a customer was unscathed by my scare and was laughing and mocking me, and when i called out for my ‘baby’, he was like “oh no, wow, a baby”

Little did they know, ‘baby’ is a huge guy covered in blood and intestines wearing butcher apron with a pig mask and armed with an axe.

The moment the guy mocked me for calling for baby, baby immediately rushed out from a secret door next to him with a creepy child-like laughter. The guy got so scared he stumbled backwards and crashed into our prop haystacks.”

4. It’s Freddy!

“Former worker, i worked at probably half dozen over the years. I’ve had a few people pass out and a few yell “I just peed my pants!” etc which is always funny/satisfying but my favorite one is easily this.

I was working in a boiler room scene and dressed as Freddy Krueger. The set up was a large boiler that made you look to your left while I came out behind them on the right side. The door was straight ahead in the direction people were already walking, so they usually walked/ran towards it.

Someone designed the hallway to take a 90 degree left turn as soon as you went through the door, so many people ran into the wall, lol. Cue four or five large high school footballers (all in their jerseys) in a single file line looking pretty scared. I jumped out behind the last guy.

They all screamed at the top of their lungs, booked it towards the door single file pushing each other, and the first guy went right through the plywood wall. The rest of them piled onto each other at the hole in the wall.

I guess all that mass coupled with speed and football strength pushing all at once was too much. I started laughing and so did they. They got up, apologized, and continued down the correct hallway.”

5. The long-short scare.

“I worked as a Scarer in NZ.

I really liked the place and it was fun to work at. They also made sure that we were always safe and people got kicked out if they didn’t follow the rules. My best reaction was a from a big guy who dropped backwards on the floor and screamed his lungs out after I did a “long-short” scare.

“Long-short” is a scare were you shine a light on yourself from far way and then sneak up to the person and flash yourself again. On of my favourite ones.”

6. Zombie ship.

“Worked a zombie ship in Tampa.

I have a thin hallway that leads outside. I normally jump from a room that is tucked away but I can kinda do whatever I want.

I decided I wanted to have some fun so I decided to stand in the middle of the hallway with my fake leg in my hand and just start rocking back and forth. I’m a zombie so I’m supposed to be groaning in agony but I was completely silent and letting the ambiance do my job.

My mark rounded the corner and he saw me just rocking there. He turned around and just said “NOPE!” and ran the other direction.

I took this time to slide back into my room and the mark came back and his friends were like “What’s your problem? There is nothing here!”

“He was here! There was somebody here!” my target exclaimed.

My original mark led the group so I decided to attack the middle. They all slammed into each other and fell down laughing.

It’s things like this that make me keep working haunted houses. I’m skipping this year because of the whole covid thing, but maybe next…

I got ton of stories. Good times all around.”

7. Movie magic.

“I volunteered at one in Vancouver that was run by a guy who used to be in the movie business. He had the most amazing stuff and I suspect a lot of it was former movie props or costumes.

The best thing was this giant like 10-12ft tall ring wraith that he’d prop up in the front yard, and it was so big that people assumed it was a stationary prop, like part of the setting but the arms could be moved by levers from someone hiding under the robes.

The MO was to stay very still, wait for people to meander through the graveyard and then suddenly swoop at them. That FREAKED people out.

My best scare was with the ring wraith – a big buff guy, at least 6”3, clearly a bodybuilder, who yelped and then immediately grabbed his girlfriend/date (who was this tiny asian woman and weighed all of 100 lbs probably) and used her as a human shield. Not just like pulled her in front of him, but actually picked her up a bit while doing it

The house was really great, free to enter, donations all went to charity but being a scarer is a thankless business. I don’t know how many times I’ve been punched by kids and teenage boys because their reaction to fear is aggression.

Oftentimes it was a delayed reaction too, like you’d scare them, they’d yelp or jump back and then like 3 seconds later because they embarrassed themselves in front of their little buddies, they’d run back or run up and give you a quick punch and run away.”

8. My eyes!

“A friend of mine got pepper sprayed twice.

That was fun for him.”

9. My legs are giving out.

“I worked for one for a few seasons, the best reaction I saw (but unfortunately I wasn’t the one to cause) was a lady who’s legs kept giving out from fear, she kept getting up quickly though and the rest of the people in her party thought she kept dropping her keys, but she was dropping her whole self, the keys were in her pocket the whole time.

Other than that I just had a lot of edgy kids screaming random things when they got startled. Nothing like popping out at a teenage boy and and they just outright scream “YOUR MOM GAY” on reflex.”

10. The Clown Room.

“Worked at one haunted house, years ago, for precisely two days. I’ll never work another because there is no way that I can ever top this scare, ever.

Night one, I was assigned to “The Clown Room,” where we had life-sized statues of some clowns from the movie ‘Killer Klowns From Outer Space.’ I had a mask, clown suit, and chubby three-fingered gloves so I blended right in, looking just like one of the statues. I went through the night scaring folks and having a great time.

On night two, a former co-worker whom I had not seen in years showed up with her boyfriend. She squealed and squirmed with displeasure as they entered, saying ‘No no no, I hate clowns I hate CLOWNS!’

As they moved passed me, I remained standing still and blending in with the statues but made eye contact with her and followed her with my eyes. She freaked out and said ‘That one’s WATCHING me!’

Her boyfriend said ‘Honey it’s just a statue.’ She had passed me at this point, but her boyfriend walked up to me to inspect and make sure I was just a statue. I winked at him and slowly brought my finger to my lips in a ‘SSHHH!’ gesture then pointed up ahead toward his girlfriend.

He grinned and nodded, staying back while I snuck up behind my former coworker. I put a comforting arm around her, hoping she would think I was her boyfriend…She did. At least until she reached up to hold my hand and felt my ridiculously oversized fingers.

Everything went in slow motion and I could feel her terror kicking in as she realized I was definitely not her boyfriend. I leaned down to look her in the eyes and grumbled “Hi, Molly!” She screamed “HOLY SH*T IT KNOWS MY NAAAMMMEE!!!!” and ran off into the next room. I told the show-runner that I would not be coming back the next night as I had just completed my mission of permanent psychological damage.

Best. Halloween. Ever.”

11. This sounds like a blast.

“I was a haunted house actor for about 6 years and it was some of the best times of my life. My “scare” was a faulty elevator, really a box on a pulley that mimicked a falling elevator, so I heard many more scares than I saw in person.

Few things are as satisfying as hearing a big burly guy shriek like a nine-year-old girl once the special effects kick in.

At the end of the attraction a man (really the nicest guy in the world, but he looks like a crazed redneck) chased people out with a chainsaw. I remember one guy didn’t stop running until he was across the parking lot and in the bed of a pickup truck.

It was so much fun. I really miss working there.”

12. Made her cry.

“This was a student event, so not an actual ‘job’ – I was just helping run it.

But basically I had this great costume that had a black veil over the front of a hood, which meant no-one could see my face and so I stood very still in slightly awkward positions, lulling people into thinking I was a statue.

I’d bide my time, too – a few of the students would nervously prod me and I’d ‘wobble’ like a statue but do nothing else. Then every so often, usually with someone coming in after a prodding one, I’d leap at them and go “RAWRHGHG!!!”

The best response (which I still feel guilty about) was this Chinese girl who literally fell onto her *ss in shock and started bawling her eyes out, such was the fright I gave her.”

13. Horror business.

“I had this really big muscular guy scream once who punched the wind out of me and run away crying.

I found out by the chainsaw clown at the end of the maze that the dude had wet himself before he had reached that section. They escorted the guy out through an employee section so the guy could quietly
get to the parking lot.”

14. Run for it!

“A friend of mine went to a haunted house and the crazy chainsaw guy at the very end recognized her (they were coworkers at another job).

But she didn’t recognize him in costume so when he was just supposed to chase people out of the building he chased her all the way down the street.

It was extra funny because she started to slow down outside the building and then looked back and realized he wasn’t stopping before running the rest of the way down the street.”

How about you?

What’s the funniest or weirdest thing that ever happened to you in a haunted house?

Tell us in the comments!

The post Haunted House Workers Discuss the Best Reactions They’ve Seen From Customers appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Their Best “You Have No Power Here” Moments They’ve Ever Seen

Isn’t it amazing when people who think they own the world are brought down to Earth in excellent fashion?

You bet it is!

And that’s why we think you’re gonna love these stories of people being told, “you know what? You have no power here!”

This is gonna be good!

Let’s check out these satisfying stories from folks on AskReddit.

1. Bad managers.

“I used to work for a terrible manager when I worked at McDonalds.

This guy was horrible to us. He was constantly bullying us, sh*t talking us TO CUSTOMERS, and doing everything in his power to make us miserable. Well, so many people complained about him that he ended up getting fired.
New manager was great. He was super chill and understanding with us all. A couple weeks after he took over, the old do*chebag comes in and starts talking about how terrible the store looks, how our service is sh*ttier than ever, and how much this store needs him. The new manager looked at him and said “If you don’t leave, then the cops are gonna make you”

When the do*chebag didn’t move, new awesome manager stuck to his guns and called the cops. The do*chebag is no longer allowed on ANY McDonalds property in the city and has a restraining order against him.”

2. Liberating.

“The first time I had dinner at my parents house after I got my own apartment.

My dad was giving me grief as usual. Finally, I stood up and said, “ I don’t live here anymore. I don’t have to put up with you this way any longer. I’m going home.”

And walked out.

Most liberating moment of my life.”

3. What a creep.

“I told my ex I was getting remarried.

He told me he was going to stop me and put a lein on my house (which I bought with my money six years after the divorce). My son would come home from visitations telling me how his dad was going to stop the wedding and I’d have to pay him all of this money, la di da.

Get to court. His attorney goes blah blah blah for what felt like forever. My lawyer (yes, I had to freaking get one) stands up and simply hands the judge the divorce papers showing the disbursement of funds and how my ex isn’t owed anything.

Judge looks at ex’s lawyer and basically asks, “did you even ask for this document before filing?” and dismisses the case.”

4. Get outta here with that.

“I’m a high school teacher who teaches a lot of senior grades and so has to deal with graduation grades, references for university, all that jazz.

I had a parent of a graduating kid in my classroom in June (after final marks were given to students but not formally reported) who was a dental surgeon in town, ran a large operation, donated a lot to local sports…big man in a small town.

I had given his kid a mark in the high B range, and so he marched into my office and started off with the “there must be some mistake” line, which moved swiftly into the “you’re going to change it because I tell you too” to “how much will it cost to get him the A”.

When I refused the bribe he went to “you’re FIRED!!!1!1!”. Not “I’m going to get you fired” but “you’re fired, clean out your desk”. I just asked him to leave.

Ended badly, he threatened violence, I reported him to the school admin, he’s now banned from the property.

Mr. “I pay your salary so you work for me you lousy piece of s*it” was threatened with the cops by Mr RandomActPG.”

5. Nope.

“Woman complained we wouldn’t fill her clearly fraudulent C2 prescription, brought the brand new store manager back to the pharmacy to “make us fill it.”

“She says you have to fill it.”

“God himself cannot make us fill anything if it fails the checks. No.””

6. Working in IT.

“IT services for a client of mine. They paid for me to come to their office and address a problem. 8 hrs minimum time. The issue was resolved in about 45 minutes, they’d set up something incorrectly and it was pretty obvious once I got into the system.

I was packing up to leave and the client stopped me.

“What are you doing?”

“The system is fixed so I’m headed out back to my office.”

“No, I paid for 8 hours, you’ll do your 8 hours. If I tell you to wash my car for 8 hours that’s what you’ll be doing.”

“Right…so anyway, I’m leaving. I’ll notify the office to send you the invoice and in all likelihood we’ll no longer be working with you and withdrawing your lease on our equipment.””

7. At the library.

“I wasn’t good at returning library books when I was a kid. I got lectured by my school librarian about it a lot.

Fast forward twenty years and I’m a supervisor at the local public library and my former now retired school librarian goes there. One day I see her sneaking around the front desk instead of coming back to say hi to me and I immediately figure something’s up. I go up to say hi and she acts exasperated and tells me she was trying to avoid me because she had overdue books.

So I put on my reading glasses, pulled them down over my nose, and delivered the same lecture she’d given me countless times about being responsible and turning in books on time.”

8. Go ahead.

“When an unhappy client threatens to go hire a better lawyer.

They don’t seem to get that this isn’t a threat when they aren’t paying me….”

9. Uh oh.

“I joined the Army Reserve in 1983, in between my junior and senior year in high school.

Going to drill one weekend and we were doing war games with another reserve unit.

They mailed everyone a letter with the challenge and response to be let in to the unit.

As a lowly private, I was standing guard at the entrance and had to say the challenge.

Everything’s going good until a city police car pulls up and the cop is a new lieutenant . I give the challenge and he just look at me. I say it again and he said to just let him in because he didn’t know it. He starts getting belligerent and I ask him to turn off the car and step out.

He gets out and starts yelling at me. The Sergeant Major heard the commotion and comes over and tears the young lieutenant a new *sshole.

It was very satisfying to watch and I learned that day that even though a 2nd lieutenant outranks a sergeant major, it really doesn’t matter because the sergeant major had been in for 20 years and didn’t put up with any bullsh*t.”

10. Very weird.

“A few years ago a guy stopped me in the hardware store and asked if I was a painter.

I looked down at my painters whites and said, yeah I do historical restoration work. He asked how much I charge per hour, and when I told him, he immediately told me I was too expensive and dropped my rate by 25%. I had already given him my number, but he kept belittling me, and saying I wasn’t worth it.

I just told him that I already had a full time job, and this would be in my off hours, so it needed to be worth my while. He finally let me leave the store, then called me 3 or 4 times, each time hemming and hawing over if he wanted to actually use me or not, he’s got a bunch of properties, it would be a sweet gig, but not at those prices.

And I just kept telling him that’s fine, don’t use me if you don’t want to. Eventually I recognized his number and stopped picking up.

He really thought he had some sort of power over me, and I’d jump at the opportunity. Luckily I didn’t have to take the work, I was making good enough money as it was. He would have nitpicked absolutely everything, and probably not paid me at the end anyway.

But he was so certain he’d have power in the situation, that he didn’t seem able to comprehend me not wanting to barter with him.”

11. No more refunds.

“When I was working customer service for a restaurant delivery service (not unlike Door Dash) I had a customer send in a complaint about hair in their food. The hair was sitting on top of the food. I check their account, and they had ONE order on their account, which is a red flag.

I check their phone number and find multiple accounts, each other 1-2 orders, ALL of them complaining about hair in the food. I deny a refund because the customer has actually used the same identical photo for the last order since they ordered the same thing. The customer tries to argue with me, threaten to never use the service again, typical stuff that they always say.

Eventually the customer gives up and ends the call, then immediately tries again. I get the support request. See who it is, then deny the refund again. She ends the call, then tries again. The person behind me gets the call. I tap the person on the shoulder and show them what I pulled up on my screen and that person denies the refund.

The next day she calls back and tries again and is outside of the refund window, so the customer demands to speak to a supervisor.

The supervisor bans her from the service for multiple fraudulent refund requests.”

12. Ahhh, that feels good.

“I worked at a grocery store for five years putting up with crazy customers and their awful attitudes.

At the end of my tenure our store was set to be closed, and for the last month the store was sold to a liquidation company. Meaning we were no longer under our parent company’s umbrella and were no longer concerned with retaining customer loyalty.

I got to tell customers “no” and respond with every bit of sarcasm and disdain to every Karen i encountered for one month until the store officially closed.”

13. Not under your roof anymore.

“The guy that i’d gone on a few dates with introduced me to his parents, things went well, or so i thought.

He drives me home, we end up talking and drinking a few beers, i didn’t want him on the road with any alcohol in his system, and i enjoyed his company, so we end up hanging out until 3am.

His mom starts blowing up his phone, demanding that he comes home, so he drives himself home to find that he’s been locked out of his house. His mom said that he can sleep outside, he shouldn’t be spending time with someone like me (still don’t know what she meant by that), and that i’m “just another stop on the p*ssy train”.

He tells her not to talk about me like that, to which she says “when you’re under my roof, i’ll say whatever i want about whoever i want!” so he picks up his phone, calls me, asks if he can stay at my place for a little while.

It’s been seven years, we’re engaged, have a dog, a cat, and a happy life.

i also plan on throwing some subtle train themes into the wedding/celebration after the end of the plague.”

14. Back of the line you go.

“I was waiting for a friend to finish work – she worked at a restaurant so fancy they had someone vetting guests at a podium outside.

The place was glitzy and the folks were glam so the great and good would descend in droves. Those with a reservation were sent in; prospective walk-ins had to queue.

A car sweeps up, the driver jumps out and holds the door open to unleash a hat and dress. The woman accompanying said finery – a C-list actress from a regional daytime TV show – looked through everyone present and moved to enter. She froze, appalled, when the guest-vetter intercepted, asking “Do you have a reservation?”

She mustn’t have heard the question because she didn’t respond. Instead she drew herself up to the full height of her couture and demanded “Do you know who I am?”

“Yes” said the maitre d’, “Back of the queue.””

Now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us about stories like this that have happened to you.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

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