Month: August 2020

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14 Dad Jokes You Might Want to Share

A solid dad joke will make you groan, or even roll your eyes. A great dad joke will make you do those things, plus secretly text your own dad, or your husband, or your uncle who loves puns just as soon as you can.

I’m not saying they’re good jokes, but they’re good dad jokes – an important distinction, of course, but that doesn’t mean they’re not funny.

Below are 14 you’re definitely going to want to share.

14. Ooh this one is dark, y’all.

“My grandfather survived pepper spray and mustard gas attacks in two wars…and came home to us a seasoned veteran.”

13. I didn’t see that one coming.

“My wife just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning.

It’s a girl and weighs 7 pounds, 12 ounces.”

12. Nope. Stop it.

“I met my boyfriend while visiting the zoo. There he was, in his uniform…straightaway, I knew he was a keeper.”

11. This one definitely earned a groan.

“What genre are national anthems? Country.”

10. Sorry to everyone outside my bubble.

“Due to the quarantine, I’ll only be telling inside jokes.”

9. It’s nice to know exactly what you’re getting into.

“My daughter’s boyfriend introduced himself to me and said, ‘Hello, sir, I’m David. Nice to meet you.’

He put out his hand and I said, ‘David, are you nervous?’

He said no, so I grabbed his hand, looked him in the eyes, and said, ‘Then why are you shaking?’”

8. Oh, dear.

“I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing.

He asked, ‘Can you describe the symptoms?’

I replied, ‘Sure. They’re yellow, Homer’s fat, and Marge has blue hair.’”

7. You gotta love a good science joke.

“I am Buzz Aldrin. Second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.”

6. We’re all just trying to be safe, here.

“I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing. This is as close as I could get.”

5. If this one doesn’t make you crack a smile, I don’t know how.

“A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees.

The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter.

‘That’s one too many!’ says the customer.

The clerk replies ‘It’s a freebie.’”

4. Hahahahaha good one.

“I just saw 10 ants frantically running around my kitchen.

I felt bad, so I built them a small house.

Now I’m their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.”

3. No way your 5yo won’t love this one.

“Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident? To the I.C.U.”

2. Nailed it.

“I got an email from Google saying, ‘At Google Earth, we are able to read maps backwards!’ and I thought, ‘That’s just spam!’”

1. And not just in the way the rest of us mean.

“The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.”

I’m already sending these to my dad, y’all.

Which one did you have to pass along? Share with us in the comments!

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These Kids Have the Best Wrong Names for Things

One of the best things about being a parent is when your kid starts to talk (so that you can finally understand them).

No, not the constant “mommy mommy mommy look look LOOK” stuff, but the way they just say whatever is on their mind, and are so sure they’re right every single time.

The mistakes they make are adorable and hilarious, and these are some of the best around.

13. In real life, though, the hippies eat everything.

Especially the rich.

Image Credit: Twitter

12. It’s pretty funny that he can say “vagina” but not “dinosaurs.”

I think…good job?

Image Credit: Twitter

11. In our house they’re called “fingers.”

Just sayin’.

Image Credit: Twitter

10. Kids definitely pray at its weird altar.

And parents beg it for deliverance. He might be onto something.

Image Credit: Twitter

9. I think that’s their tagline.

Or it was before the whole going out of business thing.

Image Credit: Twitter

8. Talk about spreading Christmas cheer.

I can’t stop laughing.

Image Credit: Twitter

7. That is not even remotely correct.

Except for the chicken part, maybe.

Image Credit: Twitter

6. I mean…we do sort of plant them there.

We don’t water them, though, because we definitely don’t want them growing.

Image Credit: Twitter

5. To be fair it says Jell-O on the package.

So really he can just read way to go.

Image Credit: Twitter

4. America still isn’t grown, clearly.

This is the content we all signed up for, please and thank you.

Image Credit: Twitter

3. If he’s eating it because it’s an apple, definitely don’t say anything.

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and all that.

Image Credit: Twitter

2. You need to think about what you’ve done.

Before someone calls CPS.

Image Credit: Twitter

1. Definitely the kid.

Unless it’s that one Canadian couple. You know who I’m talking about.

Image Credit: Twitter

I would have been wheezing with laughter if my kid had come up with some of these!

What’s the funniest wrong name your kid has given something? If it’s as good as these, I need to hear it!

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A Patient Guy Proved Why Facebook “Researchers” Are Usually Wrong

Humans sure are funny…

Even when faced with a million signs that indicate the opposite, we always like to think we know best.

One guy recently broke down the reason why it’s nearly always a fallacy to believe that someone could use common sense to defy or disprove scientific research.

In fact, he says that someone believing they could criticize mathematical or scientific research just by applying their own “common sense” logic to it is basically behaving the same way a five-year-old does.

In other words… just because you think you’re smart doesn’t mean you are.

This guy would even say we’re all quite stupid.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

If you’re anything like me, you might already have questions. Like, perhaps, what is an Elo rated player?

The Elo rating system is what’s used to calculate the skill levels of players in zero-sum games like chess.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

So far, he’s just saying that basically… the better you are at something, the more likely you are to beat people at that particular thing.

That makes sense.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

So basically, it doesn’t matter if a chess master is playing an adult who has also played chess for years or a five-year-old who has never picked up a rook.

The chess master will beat them both.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

One can assume that this also holds true for masters in a variety of different fields.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

The conclusion?

This is why the idea that one could use common sense to discredit research is ludicrous.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

Not only would you be wrong, you wouldn’t even understand why you’re wrong.

Yikes.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

We probably all know a Facebook “researcher” or two these days!

Don’t forget to share this one with your friends, and let us know how it goes in the comments!

The post A Patient Guy Proved Why Facebook “Researchers” Are Usually Wrong appeared first on UberFacts.

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A “Karen” at a Costco Pitches a Fit and Stages a Sit-in After Being Asked to Wear a Mask

There have been two cultural phenomenons that have really caused a bit of chaos this year: the advent of so-called Karens and a request that everyone wears a face mask whine in public to help limit the spread of COVID-19.

Karens are typically white women who feel that they are entitled to behave however they want, consequences be damned. Karens often take issue with all kinds of things: citizens relaxing outside, drawing on their own sidewalks, and having a BBQ have all had to deal with the wrath of Karens in the wild.

Photo Credit: Pexels

Lately, many Karens have been extra angry that they’ve been asked to wear face masks in stores.

The idea behind everyone wearing a face mask in public is that it makes everywhere safer for all of us. When you wear a cotton face mask, you help protect others.

Recently, one Karen decided that enough was enough and she was no longer going to wear a face mask in public. It all started when she went to her local Costco to return an item.

In the video, the Karen is shown immediately pitching a fit when asked to put her face mask on. It’s funny because she had it dangling from one ear, so she knew that it was required… but somehow didn’t think that requirement would apply to her.

Photo Credit: Daily Dot

The person working at Costco is so endlessly patient with her, saying:

I just need you to put that on for now while you’re in the building. That’s all. Just temporarily while you’re in here, and then you can take it right back off.

The employee also adds:

You need to have it on while you’re doing your transaction.

Photo Credit: Daily Dot

The woman refuses, noting that she believes “this is your problem.” The employee lets her know she can come back another time if she’s unwilling to put on her mask, and that’s when the woman goes full Karen.

She decides to SIT DOWN ON THE FLOOR, partially blocking the exit for other customers.

Photo Credit: Daily Dot

You’ve gotcha watch this nonsense for yourself.

So yeah, that happened! Wow.

What do you think about this woman’s Costco tantrum? Let us know in the comments!

The post A “Karen” at a Costco Pitches a Fit and Stages a Sit-in After Being Asked to Wear a Mask appeared first on UberFacts.

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These Kids Should Get to Name Everything From Now On

Kids are very funny (when they’re not being annoying, at least), and one of the best things they do is have total confidence as they call things the completely wrong name.

The thing is, more than half of the time they’re spot-on with their description, if not the proper name – which is why kids like these 11 should be tasked with naming things from now on.

11. Talk about holiday cheer.

It abounds. ‘Tis the season.

Image Credit: Twitter

10. No one skips a bonus round.

At least, they shouldn’t.

Image Credit: Twitter

9. Their minds are mysterious.

Don’t water the corpses.

Image Credit: Twitter

8. This is super weird.

I dig her mind.

Image Credit: Twitter

7. I would never be able to keep a straight face.

Kids are the best.

Image Credit: Twitter

6. Boys are amazing.

You never know; he COULD get into Harvard.

Image Credit: Twitter

5. Just give her a cut when it succeeds.

Royalties or something.

Image Credit: Twitter

4. I do love me some cake bagels.

Anything called a bagel must be delicious.

Image Credit: Twitter

3. I feel like the pickles should be the weird limes.

But that’s a quibble.

Image Credit: Twitter

2. Even if you enjoy crafts, you probably don’t want to argue.

It looks like crap exploded in there.

Image Credit: Twitter

1. She’s got the vaguely threatening tone down.

That’s the most important part of branding.

Image Credit: Twitter

My 3yo calls “yesterday” “last day,” which I love and will not correct.

What’s your favorite “wrong” word your child says or said? Tell us in the comments!

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A Dad Uses Photoshop To Bring His Kids’ Drawings To Life

Kids have incredible imaginations. Their minds are always working, and they definitely operate on a frequency that’s different from an adults.

They also don’t always have the best execution; their motor function isn’t the best and they genuinely don’t care if they freak the adults in the room right the heck out.

Dad Tom Curtis decided to horrify the general public by using Photoshop to bring his kids’ doodles to life, and he posts them on “Things I Have Drawn” on Instagram.

Some of these drawings by his kids – 11 and 8 – are charming and delightful, and others will make you wish your own imagination didn’t run quite so wild, but either way, you won’t regret checking this out.

11. Ahhh the elusive dog-bird.

That dog looks as terrified as any dog would to find themselves up a tree.

10. What is this nightmare.

Why did he have to make it’s head different than its body different than its wings?

9. This poor hapless dope.

I want to give him some seeds.

8. Idk what kind of pig this is.

I kind of want one, though.

View this post on Instagram

We’ve done a couple of pigs before. (So we turned this into a wild boar.) ___ Hi everyone. So, it’s true – we cheated a bit with this one. In fact, I’ve done something naughty by showing the drawing in black and white rather than the beautiful pink Ally, the artist, originally coloured it in with. That’s right, this glorious 6-legged piggy was sent to us by Megan Farwell and the talented artist is her 4-year-old daughter, Ally, but with at least two pigs on our insta already, we thought we’d turn him into a cuddly wild boar. And Megan and Ally agreed! Could he be the pig’s long-lost furry cousin perhaps? ___ #wildboar #definitelynotapig #thingsihavedrawn #thingsihavedrawnatthezoo

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7. Nope. Don’t like that.

Nightmare fuel. Is that how they see their Mum now?

6. That looks like it belongs in a children’s book.

The dolphins definitely don’t approve, though.

5. I love the birds.

And normally I hate birds.

4. Are we sure that was supposed to be a giraffe?

Maybe just a dude with a long neck?

View this post on Instagram

I know you might think that I’m having a laugh, Well I’m not – because this is an actual giraffe. __ Hello everyone. So we’re currently working on a couple of interesting new projects, but they’re taking a bit longer than I thought they would, so I’ve decided to re-share one of our earliest, but, I think, funniest animals – Dom’s giraffe. Actually it’s probably my favourite rhyme as well. We’ve not shown this exact picture on Insta before – this is the photo from our book ‘Things I Have Drawn at the Zoo’. By the way, we’ve started a new Twitter account. It’s very early days with no followers. There’s just a few of our old favourites on there so far, but eventually we might start previewing stuff on Twitter before it hits Insta. Check it out at twitter.com/thingsivedrawn if you like (it’s ‘I’ve’ because ‘I have’ was too long for the Twitter handle!) Oh – and we’re also on facebook.com/thingsihavedrawn for any older people out there. __ #thingsihavedrawnatthezoo #giraffe #kidsdrawings

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3. That’s a pretty decent scorpion.

I’d give him a role in a horror movie.

2. Give this guy a role in a Goonies reboot.

You don’t even need a makeup team.

1. As if ducks weren’t scary enough.

This one’s mama took a liking to a heron, maybe.

 

These are pretty fun – I think I would have thought this was pretty cool when I was a kid.

Which one of these was the best, do you think? Let’s discuss in the comments!

The post A Dad Uses Photoshop To Bring His Kids’ Drawings To Life appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Filmmaker Showed How Green Screens Work With Before/After Photos

If you are a fan of movies and television, you are probably familiar with green screens and you might not even know it.

A green screen is a backdrop that is most commonly used with a filmmaker or photographer plans to superimpose an image into the frame.

Often, the actors are filmed walking and interacting in front of the backdrop, and the special effect is added after the fact.

Many of us are so used to green screen technology these days that it can be easy to forget just how impressive it really is.

Recently, Ian Hubert shared a few stills from his current project that uses a green screen. As a filmmaker and visual artist, Ian is no stranger to the process.

Photo by Ian Hubertz.

Ian is currently working on the web series Dynamo Dream, and he is using green screens in a truly creative way.

The show is described as a “sci-fi/fantasy/cute web series,” and it definitely makes sense that the team would be adding a lot of special effects after the shots are filmed.

Photo by Ian Hubertz.

In fact, fans of the genre are really excited about the work that Ian and his team have produced.

Photo by Ian Hubertz.

Ian uses a program called Blender for video editing, and his tutorials are some of the most widely shared out there.

In a recent interview with Rokoko, Ian elaborated on what makes this technology so special:

“What I am really excited about is that it is like a new way of filmmaking.

I hadn’t really realized how much of my workflow was based around just avoiding having to do legit character animation.

When I’m working on a scene now, I can just throw the Smartsuit on and animate all the characters.”

Pretty damn cool.

Let’s have one more look at the before/after.

Photo by Ian Hubertz.

What do you think about Ian’s skills and the use of green screens in general?

Let us know in the comments!

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This Insulated Bowl Will Keep Your Ice Cream Cold For a Looooong Time

I find ice cream the perfect treat no matter what time of year it is, but if you’re someone who especially likes to enjoy a bowl at the height of summer, well…you know that can be hard.

You have to slurp it up super fast, and not really savor and enjoy your ice cream the way you should, because that darn sun is determined to melt it into sweet, fudge-striped milk as soon as possible.

Image Credit: Amazon

If the mere thought of such a tragedy makes you sad, take heart – someone has created an insulated bowl that keeps your ice cream cold for longer.

For $13, HOST’s Ice Cream FREEZE can be yours!

It’s a double-walled plastic bowl insulted with a cooling  gel that will keep what’s inside cool for hours – as long as you have it in the freezer at least four hours before you want to use it.

Image Credit: Amazon

The bowl is made from BPA-free plastic, has a silicone base that’s easy to hold onto, and holds 18 ounces of deliciousness.

So while ice cream is my go-to cold and frozen treat, the truth is that you could use it to serve anything you want kept cold. I think it would work perfectly at a picnic or outdoor gathering! Your fruit, hummus, guacamole, shrimp cocktail, etc, could stay perfectly chilled for the entire party!

Image Credit: Amazon

I don’t know about you, but this sounds like one of those little, inexpensive things that could really change the way you summer.

Off to buy myself a set of four!

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Hilarious Posts About the Summer of 2020

Summer 2020 was supposed to be full of fun and adventure and now…we have this whole mess to deal with.

And it sucks! There’s no doubt about that, friends.

But we might as well have some good laughs at our situation, right?

Damn right!

Here are some hilarious posts about what a shitshow summer 2020 (and this whole cursed year) turned into.

Enjoy!

1. That’s a great visual.

Thank you for that!

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

2. All the great hits!

Someone needs to make this a reality ASAP.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

3. Out with my boys.

About to take a dip in the pool.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

4. Screw it! Let’s eat!

I can handle all the food you throw at me.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

5. Are you okay, ma’am?

Keeping a close eye on people this summer.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

6. Here comes the bomb.

Didn’t see that one coming…

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

7. They’re having a blast!

Join in on the fun!

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

8. I can’t take this anymore!

Depression overload, am I right?

9. Summer of George is no more.

It’s sad, but true.

10. White as a ghost.

Have you been moon-bathing?

11. This guy has the right idea.

Making the best of it!

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

12. A great look for everyone!

You’re gonna look HOT.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

13. Might as well wash the car again…

Better luck next year.

Did you have any big summer plans that got wiped away by the current…situation?

If so, tell us what you’re doing instead to pass the time.

Please and thank you!

The post Hilarious Posts About the Summer of 2020 appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny Posts About Being Broke as a Joke

I’m not telling you anything new, but being broke really sucks.

Mo money, mo problems?

I said it’s more like NO money, mo problems.

But if you can’t laugh and make jokes at your hardships, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble getting through the hard times. So just poke a little fun at yourself, it won’t break you!

Here are some hilarious (and painful) memes about being broke as a joke.

Enjoy!

1. That went downhill pretty fast.

Does this look familiar…?

Photo Credit: pleated-jeans

2. Ummmmm, no, sorry.

Open your eyes! I’m eating a candy bar for dinner!

Photo Credit: pleated-jeans

3. Living the high life!

Whew! That was close!

Photo Credit: pleated-jeans

4. White bread all day, every day.

It works for everything!

Photo Credit: pleated-jeans

5. It’s very luxurious.

And you can steal one from a parking lot near you!

Photo Credit: pleated-jeans

6. Oh, never mind.

It was kinda cute…for a second…

Photo Credit: pleated-jeans

7. Get away from me, you peasants!

You are now royalty.

Photo Credit: pleated-jeans

8. I didn’t say what kind of singles.

We got a high roller on our hands!

Photo Credit: pleated-jeans

9. It’s nearly impossible.

I need that pizza to be delivered, okay?

10. There’s a whole lot of this going around.

Oh well, what are you gonna do?

11. Yes! It’s kind of depressing…

Do what you gotta do.

12. You need to have a talk…

With yourself…

13. Amen to this!

One day, hopefully…

Now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, tell us about the brokest thing you’ve ever done in your life.

We can’t wait to read your stories!

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