Funny Tweets About the Various Stages of Quarantine We’ve Had to Deal With

We’re in the middle of a global nightmare and it has been anything but funny.

BUT, as we like to do, we want to make you laugh to forget how horrible everything in the world is right now.

And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do for you right now!

So take a load off, kick your feet up, forget about what’s going on outside your front door, and laugh at some hilarious tweets about how messed up the world is right now.

Let’s go!

1. I’m right there with you.

Hey, there’s no shame in it!

2. Things are looking bleak…

Just hang in there, okay?

3. You do you.

Hey, it might look kinda cool. You never know.

4. Oh, boy…this is not good.

Go easy on that counter top!

5. I don’t think you’re alone on this one…

Is it working, though?

6. Time for a road trip?

You might as well…there’s nothing else to do…

7. Wow…sounds intense…

And how do I get in on it?

8. Is it a Cocker Spaniel?

I’ve always thought that was a good look.

9. Isolation is making you petty.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

10. Just dump it onto my plate.

No point in the formalities anymore…

11. We are all this child right now.

She seems very wise to me.

12. Do what you have to…

You need to pass the time somehow…

13. Things are getting spicy.

In the kitchen, that is…

Now we want to hear from all of you!

How is your quarantine going?

Talk to us in the comments and give us an update!

The post Funny Tweets About the Various Stages of Quarantine We’ve Had to Deal With appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Most Ridiculous Ways They’ve Ever Been Injured

I broke my hand once…punching my brother in the head.

Idiot!

I know, I know…I was young and we were fighting and I shouldn’t have done it but, you live and you learn, right? And then I was in a cast for six weeks…

Oops!

Let’s hear from folks on AskReddit who admitted the dumbest ways they’ve ever been injured.

1. Ouch!

“My brother had a turtle. He would take it out of its pen from time to time and let it roam the yard. I watched it chomp on some grass.

I picked it up and was feeding it grass, amazed at how clean it chopped the grass. So I stuck my finger in its mouth.

Turn out it hurts really bad. I didn’t want to hurt the guy so I had to suffer through it until he let go. He pulled his head into his shell so I couldn’t pull my finger out.

Finally he let go.

Long story short don’t stick your fingies where you wouldn’t stick your dingie.”

2. That sounds painful.

“I closed the trunk door of my car on my nose.

Still wondering how i managed to do that…”

3. A memorable first kiss.

“I once kissed a reflection of myself on the outside of a metal toaster while in use, and seriously burned my lips.

Technically my first kiss…”

4. Yowza!

“I put on a Tigger costume when I was little and thought I could bounce on his tail jumped off my dresser & broke my tailbone.”

5. Pyromania.

“Powdered Draino, shredded aluminum foil, rubbing alcohol, and a match.

Set my 12-year-old head on fire.”

6. That’s embarrassing.

“A few years ago I woke up, when to the bathroom, and was wiping my *ss when I pull my neck. Still not sure how but it happened I just felt the pull and had an enormous pain.

Went to the doctor who gave me anti-inflammatory injections and had to use a collar for a week and I used to tell people I fell.”

7. A bad idea.

“When I was like 10 years, I found a box cutter in a drawer and wanted to see how sharp it was. I decided the best way to do that was to cut across the palm of my hand.

It was sharp… I don’t remember how painful it was but I remember staring at my hand for a few seconds before the blood started to pour out.”

8. Don’t mess around with those.

“I had never seen a lacrosse ball. Didn’t realize It was so bouncy and heavy.

Threw it at the ground at my feet. It bounced up and hit me right in the nostrils.

Blood everywhere and a new found respect for the bouncy ball of death.”

9. Ugh. Brutal.

“Getting ran over by a thousand pounds of water jugs on a pallet while working a couple years ago.

It took my toe nail off but didn’t break the bone.”

10. Don’t get into bar fights.

“Got into a bar fight because a friend of a friend called someone else “gay” in an argument over the jukebox, then ended up getting hit with the pool cue they’d taken from the friend.

Had to be told later why I’d been suckered, and that one of the guys had flashed a pistol. Ended up getting a girlfriend out of it, but then we broke up and she had some other guy’s kid.

Ten years later we hooked up again, and I married her and now I’m divorced, so really the whole story is just bad from start to end.”

11. I am so sorry.

“Was sitting on the floor hammering a nail into something, lost grip then the hammer bounced out of my hand and landed on my d*ck.”

12. Sneezing can be dangerous.

“Sneezed so hard that something between my shoulder and neck popped.

Couldn’t turn my head properly for 2 weeks because of the sharp pain, as if someone stuck a giant needle in there and pushed really hard.”

13. The foam pit of death.

“I was at a trampoline park in Arkansas and was 3 months before my 14th birthday.

I tried to do a backflip into the foam pit and nearly killed myself.

My back still hurts now, 6 years later.”

14. Hahahaha. Wow.

“I threw my back out and had to use a cane for two weeks because I was clipping my toenails.”

15. You are NOT Bruce Lee.

“Swinging nunchucks too fast.

Busted my face wide open at 1 am.”

16. Life imitating art.

“When I was in high school I saw A Christmas story for the first time. In the scene the boy gets his tongue stuck to a metal pole out in the snow. I didn’t know that was a real thing so I wanted to test it out for myself.

I put a spoon in the freezer and then when it was frozen stuck my tongue on it. Hurt like a b*tch getting it off.”

Ouch!

Now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, tell us about the dumbest way you’ve ever injured yourself.

We can’t wait to hear your stories!

The post People Share the Most Ridiculous Ways They’ve Ever Been Injured appeared first on UberFacts.

If Stores Sold Superpowers, What Would You Be Able to Buy From the Discount Bin?

Superheroes need to shop in the discount bin, too, sometimes…

It can’t all be flying, super strength, and the ability to disappear, right?

Folks were presented with this unusual question:

“If Stores Sold Superpowers, What Could You Buy From the Discount Bin?”

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say about this.

1. Wouldn’t that be something?

“Discount huh?

I’m imagining this amazing superpower that used to be super cool but is now hardly sold anymore.

“Automatically unscratch the surface of any old dvd or cd you touch” – Now with free set of dvds!”

2. A lot of people would like this.

“Grow your hair as fast as you want.

“Hmm time for a haircut. Might as well get my money’s worth”

Grows hair a mile long.”

3. Where am I now?

“You can teleport anywhere but it’s randomized.

99.9999999999% chance of death if you include the universe.

Hell, even on earth you could end up in the sky, underground or underwater.”

4. Might come in handy…

“Chill a beer by holding it.

No other freezing or cooling related powers.

And it only works on beer.”

5. Use it wisely.

“Heat vision, but it only gets hot enough to warm up your coffee.

Could get a job as a barista.”

6. This is HUGE.

“The ability to automatically agree on where to eat with my spouse.”

7. It is what it is.

“Invisibility but every meter of movement makes you fart.

This is an added bonus! Go invisible, run through a crowd, and watch the hilarity!”

8. A lot of thought went into this.

“Being able to float 1 inch but you can’t move around, not needing a remote to change the volume(just the volume, you still need it for everything else).

Turning your finger into a tiny vacuum to clean small crevices, being able to tell what someone’s emotion is but you don’t know why, good reflexes, Bluetooth connection to your phone so you can hear the music but no one else can and you don’t need headphones.”

9. Couch Woman!

“The amazing ability to turn into a couch!”

10. Useless!

“Walk through walls but fall through floors/ground when you do.

Run really fast but you get tired over a normal distance.

Turn into any animal you want, but permanently.”

11. Interested in any of these?

“You can turn invisible but you won’t be able to see anything either

You can run super fast but you slowly burn (friction)

You can fly but the g-force and lack of oxygen always catchup to you

You can teleport but every time you do so a little bit of your body is left behind.”

12. What the?!?!

“Telekinesis.

But it’s limited to 3 pounds and the object hovers a half inch above your palm.”

13. This is gonna get weird.

“The ability to elongate one part of your body, but you can’t choose which part.

Say hello to One Tube-shaped Eyeball Man!”

14. All this good stuff.

“10% invisibility, you are just slightly transparent

mood ring, your skin changes color based on your mood

ant command, the power to have a single ant do your bidding

superhyerpercondria, detect every microorganism on every surface all the time

fartparade, instead of being invisible, your farts come out as brightly colored gasses

allergy medusa, anyone who looks at you will sneeze uncontrollably as long as they can see you

midas’ pudding, every liquid you touch gets transformed into banana pudding

sandwhichsense, know exactly when and what kind of sandwich someone has most recently eaten

cat facts, infinite knowledge about the universe, but only topics about cats

megaphone, your voice is permanently as loud as a jet engine.”

How would you answer this question?

Tell us in the comments!

We look forward to hearing from you!

The post If Stores Sold Superpowers, What Would You Be Able to Buy From the Discount Bin? appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who Live in Areas Where the Virus Isn’t Being Taken Seriously Talk About What It’s Like

It blows my mind these days when I go into a store or a gas station and people are STILL not wearing masks.

It drives me nuts!

Not only is it dangerous but it’s also incredibly selfish. I don’t think it’s too much of a sacrifice to wear a freaking mask when you go out in public, do you?

I wonder how these people would have reacted during World War II when Americans had to ration materials…they probably would’ve said it was an infringement on their rights…

The point is that there are many parts of the United States where people are still not taking the coronavirus seriously and that isn’t good for anyone

Let’s see what AskReddit users had to say about where they live…

1. Nobody’s paying attention.

“Stores have implemented all sorts of things, like one way aisles. However, since like 2% of people care, nobody pays attention and somehow everyone ends up closer than they would have if the aisles would have just been normal.

A lot of people don’t wear masks, but on occasion you’ll see someone in a mask, gloves, with their phone and other belongings in a ziploc bag to keep them from being contaminated.

Oddly enough, those are typically the people that get avoided like the plague.”

2. Not smart!

“Well, a younger guy at work said he was at a packed bar over the weekend and we are ending our alternating schedule on Monday.”

3. You’re doing it wrong!

“I remember going to the store a few weeks ago and there was a lady who was just carrying an entire can of Lysol with her and spraying every single thing immediately before touching it.

She’d spray a box on the shelf, pick it up to look at it, and put it back. She’d spray a can, then grab it to put it in her cart. She sprayed the cart handle immediately before touching it EVERY TIME she touched it.

She also sprayed the credit card machine, and her credit card. She was wearing gloves, and her phone was in a ziplock bag.

She wasn’t wearing a mask and was shopping the wrong way.”

4. Let’s go to the park!

“People in my town don’t care that much, but ever since one kid got it they’ve been taking it more seriously.

But then the bomb threat made people go to the park MORE, on the basis that they “couldn’t go yesterday so I’m going to go today” when they never had plans to go anyway.”

5. This is not a hoax.

“I am an EMS helicopter pilot. Two days ago we transported a COVID positive patient that had been in the ICU in a small hospital for three days due to respiratory distress due to COVID. I watched as the crew loaded him into the back of the aircraft which is usual. I heard them asking each for drugs that we don’t normally give to people who we transport.

They were asking for those drugs because he was actively dying. They pull him back out of the aircraft and run back to the ER. Meanwhile my medic is sitting on top of him doing chest compressions while we’re running through the ER to the trauma bay.

As we were running I glanced in the rooms we were passing. Literally no patients had mask on.

I just don’t get it. This isn’t a hoax, a political ploy or a scare tactic. Wear a damn mask.

The patient was a 50 y/o man who was in good health and no previous medical history. Cause of death respiratory distress due to COVID.”

6. Lonely.

“I feel like I don’t really know anybody anymore. Never had a clue how many mild-to-insane level conspiracy theorists there were around me.

I’m not so much lonely as I am just generally let down at how willfully ignorant people are willing to be.

Maybe I’m guilty of it myself, because I genuinely thought better of my city than this.”

7. Ignorance is bliss.

“Where I am in the South its just like it was before the outbreak.

If you don’t watch the news, there’s no reason to think the world is any different.

Ignorance is bliss baby.”

8. Nothing to see here.

“Life has gone on like normal. People crowding into bars, partying like the just don’t care. I know people busy singing in their church choirs without a care in the world.

I grocery shop during church time.

The grocery store if full of people in PPE then and it seems much safer.”

9. Out in the sticks.

“Rural Florida here.

Land of the lifted truck, Trump signs, and Confederate flags.

Maybe about a third of the people in my local grocery store–the only one in a 10 mile radius–wear masks. It’s in the neighborhood that I’ve found a real challenge. Kids are out playing and people are interacting face-to-face like the virus is long behind them.

I’m an extrovert who normally enjoys being a part of that, so social isolation is rough. The children don’t understand why I’m a recluse, and they come to my door looking for me.

I’ve been caving to the pressure and going out some, but then I feel unspoken pressure not to wear a mask. I have medical issues, so I don’t think I’d be looked down upon.

It just feels suddenly like I’m the uncool kid at school.”

10. Jeez…

“Everyone’s using the time off work to party, have barbecues, visit family, etc.

My family has made the trip to visit every single one of our relatives at least once this year since they have so much time off, and they’re out every other evening to go to a barbecue with or a potluck or a dinner with their friends.”

11. This is crazy.

“I live in Florida and work in the beauty industry. My clients are dropping like flies. I spend an hour in their face while they are unmasked.

Had a woman call the other day to tell me she’d been exposed to COVID and was going to get tested, and wanted to know what our policy was and if she could keep her appointment. Had a co-worker get sick and she found out she had been exposed.

She told my boss she was getting tested, and my boss asked me if I thought it’d be okay for her to come back in, because “what’s everyone going to do? Keep quarantining?” YES. YES! That’s EXACTLY what we ALL need to do.

My parents are in their 70s. I can’t go see them. What if this is the last bit of time I get with them? What if I go see them and kill them?

My best friend was just diagnosed with cancer. I can’t go see him. Will I ever get to see him again? Will he die alone?

If I get sick, how long will I be out of work with no sick leave? How long will my SO be out if he gets sick? What will happen if his compromised child gets sick? How would we afford the medical bills? Do we send him back to school? Who will watch him?

The worries are endless. And we could’ve made this so much easier if people weren’t such selfish, entitled, politicized *ssholes.”

12. Can’t do it anymore.

“I don’t even engage anymore.

I can’t have a normal conversation with them and I refuse to argue. Facts don’t matter, common sense doesn’t break the seal, and just common courtesy is a negative.

I just can’t anymore.”

13. Wow.

“I just finished a contact tracing job up in a little town with like <2000 people. My job was to monitor the health of those exposed or diagnosed with COVID-19 and I was there for a month.

Any time I would call and give someone their diagnosis and ask who they have been in contact with, I had a 50/50 shot of them being massive d*ck bags. The things I heard were that COVID-19 was a scam, was used to make big pharma rich, wasn’t real and they just had the flu or a stomach virus ect.

I told people they needed to isolate for 14 days if they were a positive case or exposed and I basically was f*cking them for 2 weeks of pay at work so that was awful. I can’t legally force them so some just went back to work and didn’t care and infected more people. We had an outbreak at an Autozone because of it.

No one wore a mask. Every food worker wore theirs without their nose covered that I saw if they were. I was generally the only one in public with one on, if not only 1 of 2 or 3 people. It was a bible-belt city so lots of “I’ll just pray it away I don’t need the hospital.”

I had a lady raise her oxygen from 2L to 4L overnight, probably due to fluid build up from COVID, which she had because she was living with a lung disease. I told her to go to the ER NOW and when she was there, she called.

She told me she was going to go in and called to ask if they could even help her, I said yes obviously. She turned around and drove home when she hung up. Called the next day to see how the ER visit went and she was at home gasping for air. Husband took her to the ER but not before making her talk to me like an idiot :/.

Oh and people hung up on me a lot when Id be calling them like 5 days in. Or they’d block my work number so we’d send police out to make sure they were alive.”

Are people taking this health crisis seriously where you live?

Please tell us about it in the comments.

We look forward to hearing from you!

The post People Who Live in Areas Where the Virus Isn’t Being Taken Seriously Talk About What It’s Like appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About the Longest They’ve Gone Without Knowing a Person’s Name

Hey! Tony! Timmy! Terry?

Oh…your name is Bob? Sorry…I wasn’t even close.

Have you ever had an experience where you didn’t know a person’s name so you basically had to “fake it until you make it”, so to speak? It’s funny but it’s also totally embarrassing if you get called out on it.

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say about their own experiences.

1. A cultural thing.

“19 years.

19 whole years and I’ve just realized I don’t know my grandmother’s name.

Or any of my grandparents names for that matter.

Everyone calls them by they’re Thai/Laos term for grandmother.”

2. Two whole years.

“2 years is the longest so far.

I used to be a club promoter and I had a guy that bought tickets from me for every event he went to.

He told me his name when I first met him but I forgot it soon after he told me, meeting lots of people makes it hard to remember names, especially when I don’t even know if I’ll ever see them again so what’s the point of remembering everyone’s names?

After a certain point I saw him out partying often enough but it was past the point where I could ask him his name without it being awkward. I had him saved in my phone as Sir Prince Albert since he told me about his piercing so that I’d know who was texting me if we ever texted each other, but I didn’t think to add his name since I wasn’t sure what it was so that was no help.

Eventually we ended up at a party together and some people walked in and asked “hey have you seen phil?”

After not remembering meeting anyone that night named Phil I said no I don’t think there’s a Phil here. Then that guy who’s name I couldn’t remember came up and joined the group and said “I’m right here! Don’t worry Screechypete, these guys are cool I invited them!”

At that moment I finally found out his name and I played it off as “oh ok well if they are your friends then I guess it’s cool if they stay.” and just went with it.”

3. Neighbors.

“I moved into my condo in 2011 and I introduced myself to my one neighbor next door to me but instantly forgot his name.

We would see each other in passing for years and I would always just say hi and the casual conversation. I met my wife in 2018 from a long distance relationship and when she finally moved in with me there was the awkward moment when I introduced her to him.

I said this is my fiance (x) and we’re getting married next month, he said congratulations and nice to meet you, then walked away. She asked me what his name was and I said I have no f*cking clue.

Later that day she said his name is Brad and I was like “oh, he looks like a Brad” and she said he had no f*cking clue what my name was either so no big deal.”

4. That’s weird. And hilarious.

“I work in a pharmacy.

A young woman, say late teens early twenties, came up and asked to pick up her grandmother’s prescription. I said no problem. What’s her name?

She looked at me with a blank face, asked me to hold on and called her family.”

5. Pub pals.

“Most likely over a decade.

I’m in the UK and I’ve got to know many a bar acquaintance down my local pub.

Over time you get to know about their work, hobbies, likes and dislikes.

You get to know how many kids they have, how many times they have been married etc etc.

Then a friend from out of town visits you. And as you do in the UK, you go to the pub. Lo and behold your pub acquaintance is there and you introduce your pal from out of town only to realise you know everything about your pub pal – everything except their bloody name.”

6. You’re confusing me!

“A whole school year I knew their names I just didn’t know which twin was which and they weren’t identical.”

7. At least he has a nickname.

“I work at record store, there’s a guy who’s been coming in weekly for the entire 11 years I’ve worked there.

We just call him sweaty Polish guy.”

8. Give it some more time.

“I’ve lived in my townhouse for almost 5 years now, and I don’t know the name of the guy who lives directly across from me. I have pretty regular interactions with most of my neighbors, but I’ve never talked with this one guy beyond just exchanging pleasantries while passing each other.

When I moved in and first met him, I immediately forgot his name. I was almost positive he said it was Mike, so I went about 4 years just assuming that was probably his name, but not quite confident enough to actually call him Mike.

Then a few months ago I was talking to some other neighbors in the parking lot when he walked by, and my other neighbors called out “Hey [name that is not Mike]!” So it was confirmed that this guy’s name is NOT, in fact, Mike, and I was relieved I hadn’t been calling him that for the past 5 years.

But I immediately forgot again what his name actually is, so now all I know is that it is something other than Mike.

Myabe I’ll learn his name by the time I’ve lived here 10 years.”

9. Neither of you knows.

“I have no idea what the neighbor to my rear’s name is. We introduced ourselves when I moved in 2.5 years ago, but I think we both promptly forgot.

I sometimes talk to him for upwards of an hour and we never say each other’s names. Same thing as you happened.

A couple weeks ago we were talking and someone said “Hey, [neighbor dude]!” as they walked by. It was gone from my memory in seconds.”

10. Awkward!

“A whole date.

Someone fixed us up but my dude never told me her name, just the address she wanted me to pick her up.

I didn’t have guts to ask her name between the date.”

11. I know the dog’s name, but…

“Dog park people.

We see each other and talk almost every day but they’re always ‘dog’s name mum/dad’

I’m sure at some point their name come up, but I just keep forgetting.”

12. Hahahaha.

“My next door neighbor introduced himself when he moved in. I promptly forgot his name. I danced around it for that same 5 years. He was from a French speaking part of Canada, so when talking with my wife, he was “French guy next door”

5 years after first meeting, he admits in a conversation that he’d forgotten my name. We have a good laugh and reintroduce ourselves.

His name was Guy. I had it right the whole time, he was French Guy next door.”

13. The office.

“10 years, the people from my office but from different division.

They seem to know me and often call me out when I passed by, but I don’t know their names and at this point it seems awkward to ask them.”

14. Call me Darren.

My name is apparently Darren to this nice couple who own a restaurant in my town.

My name is not Darren, I’ve known them for 2 years. We’re even facebook friends, they can literally see and read my name, but it’s cool.

I always wanted to try being a Darren.”

Okay, now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us the longest you’ve gone without knowing someone’s name.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post People Talk About the Longest They’ve Gone Without Knowing a Person’s Name appeared first on UberFacts.

Would You Die for Your Country? People Talk About This Complicated Question.

Patriotism is complicated and it varies among people. And it’s obviously totally different depending on the country that you come from.

Americans are typically pretty patriotic people and I think many of them would say they’d die for their country.

But it is a very complicated question…

AskReddit users shared their thoughts.

1. From the UK.

“If we were under threat then yeah. I

f we weren’t under threat and Boris was like, “let’s invade [insert Middle Eastern country]” then no.”

2. Only for a good reason.

“If there was a real enemy threatening to invade and kill or enslave my loved ones then yes

But for oil? Not happening.”

3. A strong NO.

“That’s a strong no.

No politicians are willing to work for the country.

Losing my life for the war created by them is nothing but vain.”

4. It’s complicated.

“No. Not inherently.

Dying (and worse, killing) simply ‘for your country’ has been the anthem of leaders sending the young and terrified to die in battle for centuries.

I would, however, die for the people I love, the places I choose to make my life in and the core ideals I consider most important for the benefit of mankind. At the very least, I’d go into battle for them.

What I’d really be thinking just before I die is unknowable to me – maybe I’d regret it all.

I dunno.”

5. Only for defense.

“In defense of my people, sure.

Attacking to give my people an economic advantage, no way.”

6. I just live here.

“I would die for my friends and family.

I wouldn’t die for my country, it doesn’t care for me individually.

I just happen to live here.”

7. It depends…

“Defensively: probably. If you are defending home and family it makes sense

Offensively: hell no. How many offensive wars in history were justified?

I die trying to kill some other guy just defending his home so some aristocrat a thousand kilometers away can have his moment?”

8. From Hong Kong.

“As a Hongkonger, I would die for my people against my ‘country’.”

9. Nope.

“Nah.

I’m not dying for an oil company.”

10. No way.

“Absolutely not.

I’ll fight tooth and nail for my family, but that’s it.”

11. Not gonna happen.

“Hell no.

Its a random assortment of strangers, a government I have no say in and a flag I don’t care about.”

12. Fighting Irish.

“Ireland is a small nation. We dont have much in defense. No aircraft artillery, tanks, or anything. We need our allies more than ever.

But if it came down to invasion by anyone or army of any size. I’d d*mn well defend it with everything I got.

Because its gonna take a whole lot to make us Irish quit.”

13. Arbitrary lines.

“Nope.

I don’t care about serving and protecting arbitrary lines on a map.

Most don’t, most who enlist only do it for the free college, adventure, etc. No one’s died protecting my country from an actual threat since WW2. All the deaths since then have been for absolutely nothing.

Decades of men and women sent off to die for nothing. It’s infuriating, and no one cares. I respect those who give a sh*t and would sign up if there was an actual threat, and I pity those who have or do serve and actually think anything they did/do is protecting anyone they love.

It’s all a game, paid for in blood. And everyone pretends it’s okay to just carry on like that.

Not a game I’ll ever be playing.”

14. Finland.

“The question hits pretty differently depending on where you live. When we are talking about defending Finland, we are talking about a situation where a small country known for it’s well-being, happiness and progress is being attacked by a corrupt and oppressive mafia state with population almost 30 times larger.

The original question sounds very different if you are an American with knowledge about the recent history of American military involvement than it sounds for a generic Finn.”

Finns aren’t openly that patriotic but when it comes to defending this land we are f*cking mental. We have had this discussion many times in school and with my friends and basically everyone says they would give their life for this country.”

15. Maybe…

“There’s a big difference between dying for your country and dying in the name of it.

Would I die to advance our medical knowledge or environment or something? Sure.

Would I die because some politician got angry at another country?

No thank you.”

Now we want to hear from you.

How would you answer this question?

Talk to us in the comments, please!

The post Would You Die for Your Country? People Talk About This Complicated Question. appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About How They’d Create a New Alarm Clock Called “The Rude Awakening”

Waking up is much more difficult for some people than it is for others.

I’m usually able to pop right up in the morning when my alarm goes off, but my brother? Oh, my poor brother…

That snooze button can be heard blasting for hours on end…and it is not a pretty picture.

But what if there was a new alarm called “The Rude Awakening” that REALLY did the job of waking people up? What would it consist of and how would it work?

Here are the bright ideas that AskReddit users came up with.

1. That should do the trick.

“It pees the bed and then sends out a blast email/text/tweet telling everyone that you peed the bed.”

2. I like this idea!

“It rolls off the base while making that horrific noise Jim Carrey screamed in Dumb and Dumber while in the dog car.

It keeps getting louder and doesn’t stop until you put it back on the base.”

3. Alert! Alert!

“Nuclear alert sound at full volume.

I actually set this as my alarm. For one day. It’s such a violent sound (hence why it’s used) that it scared the sh*t out of me and I never used it again.

Bonus points for combining it with an invention a friend of mine used to have. The alarm clock would shoot off a little fan which would fly some random place in the room and the alarm wouldn’t turn off until you found the piece and put it back.

So that with the nuclear alarm sound.”

4. That’ll get you going.

“It reads a list of everyone that’s died since you fell asleep, their manner of death, and what you could have done to prevent it.

• Ronald Resiman – 89 – Nothing

• Geraldine Brown – 94 – Nothing

• Sammie Johnson – 96 – Coulda found a cure for cancer

• Brad LaMonte – 91 – Nothing”

5. Yes!

“It gives you wrestling legend Rick Rude’s finisher the “Rude Awakening”……

I feel like this was a no brainer.”

6. Sounds terrible.

“Reads the president’s tweets in Gilbert Gottfried’s voice.”

7. It just might work…

“It monitors your sleep cycle, in order to wake you up at the worst possible moment, using loud sirens, strobe lights and violently rocking your bed.

And if you haven’t jumped out of your bed within 3 seconds, random splashes of ice water and electric shocks will be added to the experience.”

8. Oh, no!

“It’s a George Foreman grill that heats up then clamps onto your bare feet.”

9. Terrifying.

“It gently massages a lightly moistened finger into your earhole, while playing the Jaws theme with ramping volume.”

10. A million-dollar idea.

“Goat screaming to the tune of the national anthem of USA.

And then VERY, VERY loud poop/fart noises.”

11. It’ll scare you right out of bed.

“It generates a current of air on your face and says, “I like what you did with your hair.”

You live alone.”

12. What’s happening…?

“It says random things just loud enough to be heard.

“You were right about that mole, look at it again…”

“But what is the cause of that ice-pick headache you keep getting?”

“There are about 100 feet of pressurized water pipes in your walls, and any one of them, if not multiples of them could be leaking and you have no way of knowing, and knowing that insurance will deny a water damage claim if the leak is more than 10 days old.””

13. Puke city.

“It makes pet retching sounds loud enough to wake you from the deepest slumber.

Once you’ve heard your cat/dog about to toss it on your bed/carpet, there’s no getting back to sleep.”

14. Think it would work?

“Plays a jump-scare to get your attention, then attacks your insecurities.

Hahaha, look at that high-waisted man. He has feminine hips.”

15. I got it!

“Easy. It reminds you of all your failures as you fail to even turn it off.

It’ll ask you division problems. Before you even answer, it will say, “You dumb sleepy piece of trash. You don’t know this. You don’t know anything.”

I’ll call it the “Self Hatred” setting.

The next will be a sorrowful one. It plays depressing music and wakes you up with sobbing. Every 5 minutes it will cry out, “WHY DID SHE LEAVE ME?!” Until you soothingly stroke its snooze button for another 5 minutes.

I’ll call that one the “Sad Sobbing Drunk at 3 am” setting.

I’m gonna stop there. I made myself sad.”

How about you?

What ideas would you come up with for “The Rude Awakening”?

Tell us what you think in the comments!

The post People Talk About How They’d Create a New Alarm Clock Called “The Rude Awakening” appeared first on UberFacts.

People Open up About Things They’ve Witnessed That They Can’t Unsee

If you see something disturbing, scary, or maybe even so outrageous you can’t believe it, it can be really hard to get those images out of your head.

It might even be impossible…

Some things just get burned into our brains whether we like it or not.

Let’s take a look at these responses from AskReddit users about things they can’t unsee.

1. On the job.

“Former volunteer firefighter. Currently a Paramedic.

First witnessed death on Christmas morning when I was 16 (as a junior firefighter)

Two mangled bodies in a Camaro that hit a tree doing 100+ mph. I was 17.

A man hanging from a tree in his driveway having set his house on fire. Christmas night. I was 19.

Driving up on a 64 yom (year old male) who was reported to have fallen and hurt his leg laying in a pool of his own blood just before he went into cardiac arrest. Also the blood that poured of the bed as I rolled the bed into the Ambulance.

The cat of the patient at the first cardiac arrest I attended with the ambulance service. It watched with only vague interest and had markings that made it look like hitler. I don’t remember the man.

The first birth I attended. That was nice.

The aftermath of a man who committed suicide by train. It was half a mile of pieces. He literally left a sh*t stain on the tracks at point of impact. His shoes, socks and feet were all separated.

Every hanging. I’ve been relatively lucky and not been to as many. They’re the worst.

Too many gross feet.

There could be another section on unforgettable smells.

Despite this I enjoy my job. These are not the majority of the work.”

2. True crime.

“The Facebook Messenger conversation between my now ex wife and a guy she knew discussing how they were going to stage an abduction and assault.

The conversation went down to how it had to look like he “kidnapped” both of them, that our son wouldn’t go with willingly so they had to drug him, and how she had ‘tested’ drugging me (with the name of the drug, that she had in her possession).

That also explained my “24 hour flu” that came randomly out of nowhere the previous weekend.”

3. A terrible day.

“Mine wasn’t something I saw it was hearing the final phone calls made from 9/11 on YouTube and this one man in his office is begging for help and then he’s like “Oh my god oh my god they’re falling” and then it cuts out.

God that haunts me still.”

4. Life is precious.

“My grandma had a bad fall and had to stay in hospital over night. I was with my auntie and my gran needed the toilet. My auntie took her to the toilet and I waited in the hospital bay, it was very late at night and most patients were asleep.

There was one woman who was awake but looked absolutely shocking, had heavy, wheezy breathing. There was a staff member sat next to her who was monitoring her.

I’d been stood there for maybe 5 minutes when the woman started coughing and eyes went wide. The staff member pressed a button which must have been a silent alarm because the next thing about 5 nurses and a Dr appeared. They went to the patient and put the curtain round.

Maybe 10 minutes later one of the nurses came out and attached a picture of a swan on the outside of the curtain. This meant the lady had passed away.

At the time I must have been 19, 20 or 21 I can’t remember, but it really stuck with me how quickly a life can pass. I was left thinking, what about her family? Does she have people that will miss her? Is there someone that depends on her?

I’m a clinical worker now so I’m more used to life and death, but that was a massive eye opening moment for me that I’ll always carry with me.”

5. Shooting.

“The livestream of the Christchurch mosque shooting. It took me a minute to understand that was I was watching was actually real, and it was f*cked.”

6. Ugh. No way.

“Surgery being performed on my back.

Was watching it through a reflection in glass wall.”

7. Shock and awe.

“On my way to work I stoped at a red light. I saw a old homeless man pull his pants down.

He bent over and proceeded to projectile sh*t all over a car. When the light turned green me and a the car behind me just stared in shock at the horrors we’d seen.”

8. Poor dog.

“My dog after he was hit by a car. I got a call from animal control while I was at work and raced home hoping for the best. When I got there I knew immediately he was gone.

The AC officers were great, and they tried to keep me from seeing him but I had to see for myself. I carried him upstairs and wrapped him in his blanket and sat in the shower and cried with him for idk how long.

I have aphantasia so i can barely form mental images, but that one image is burned on my mind.”

9. Afghanistan.

“In Afghanistan .

An 18 or so vehicle convoy was making the trek back to FOB Salerno from the Pakistani border. 3 dudes, in a wide open field of nothing but dirt see us on the road; they’re armed, panic, and start shooting at us.

I was airborne infantry; this was back in 2003. We used to roll around on the back of five-ton flatbed trucks, having built wooden benches to sit on. So when these guys started shooting at my company.. probably about 100 different weapon systems all pointed at these three men.

Maybe ten seconds later, the gunfire stops.

We dismount and move across the field to the dead bodies; one ended up playing dead, had primed a grenade under his own body, and tried to roll over and throw it at us as we passed.. but he was so grievously injured his throw didn’t really throw.. and he blew himself up. We shot him for another five seconds to make sure.

One of the three men caught a Mk.19 grenade that was a dud to his chest. Left a softball sized hole straight through his ribs; you could see the inside of him.

Another had caught a match-grade 7.62 round to the top of the head; the top of his head had come off like he’d been sliced with a sword – the neatest wound.. it was horrifying in how perfect it was. His brain had jumped up and out of his skull and landed near his feet.

We found out later why they had panicked; they had just got done lynching the local sheriff with telephone wire. In case you were wondering, THIS was actually the focus of my story here: he was strangled by it.

His whole head was a weeping bruise; he was bleeding from his nose, ears, eyes, tongue.. scalp. When we cut him down.. all that trapped blood came out.

Never seen anything like that. That man died bad.”

10. A light-hearted one.

“The Cats movie.

No matter how hard I try, no matter how much weed I smoke to make me feel better, no matter how much vodka I drink to make me forget it still won’t go away.

Every night when I’m trying to sleep it haunts me, my dreams are nightmares now, I suffer because I thought it would be funny.

Head my warning children, sometimes the memes aren’t worth it.”

11. The big boss man.

“My boss has a huge p*nis that he tucks to the side down one pant leg.

My coworker pointed it out to me a few months ago and now that’s all I can see.

It sucks because he’s a huge *sshole.”

12. A bad accident.

“As a young man in Framingham there was a late night accident about half a block away that I heard when I was out on the porch having a cigarette. I walked up there maybe 30 seconds to a minute after the accident happened.

As I was surveying the scene, car about 3 feet into an old oak, driver sitting on the curb crying, probably a dead girl crumpled in the middle of the road (ejected from front passenger seat), and two backseat passengers pretty well jammed under the seats in front of them

I looked around, knew there was nothing I could do, and left as the ambulances pulled up.”

13. This is awful.

“My infant daughter on life support in the PICU after suffering cardiac arrest. she was only 11 weeks old. Passed away 4 days later.

The gasping sounds she made as she passed away will haunt me the rest of my life.

The f*cking absolute worst week of my life and a nightmare I’m constantly re-living.

No one should ever bury their child. No one.”

14. Very sad.

“I work as a Peace Officer at a hospital in Canada. While I was walking to the emergency department one day, I was approached by a family (father and two sons). The father said, “excuse me, sir, can you help my wife out of the car?” Calm, collected, non- chalant.

I thought this was your run of the mill vehicle extraction so I mic’d to my partner to grab a nurse and a stretcher. The father led me to the vehicle and I could see his wife laying across the back seat.

Immediately I thought to myself, “sh*t, she’s not feeling well, definitely gotta help her out of there.” When I opened the door, her head snapped back (I guess her head was leaning on the door) and she was staring up at me, eyes bugged out and wide open like she saw something terrifying.

Startled the sh*t out of me and I looked back at the husband. Same relaxed, calm demeanor as when I originally talked to him. I pulled her out of the vehicle and I could tell she already voided so I’m thinking….sh*t, already too late. Nurse got on the stretcher snd started CPR on route to the trauma room.

After speaking with the father, I guess his wife had become catatonic about 15 minutes prior to arriving at the hospital and had stopped breathing. Instead of calling an ambulance, he decided to drive her there himself.

Father claimed no drug use but patient history showed she was an avid IV opioid user. Poor family thought she was just medically sick when really she overdosed. Really sad.”

How about you?

Have you ever seen anything that you can’t get out of your head?

If so, please tell us about it in the comments.

The post People Open up About Things They’ve Witnessed That They Can’t Unsee appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss Things They’ve Seen That They Can’t Get Out of Their Heads

I’ve seen a couple of things in my life that were so disturbing that I literally can’t get them out of my head no matter how hard I try.

I’ll spare you the details but I can assure you that it’s not a good feeling…but I guess you just have to deal with those things.

Have you ever witnessed something that you couldn’t unsee?

Here’s what folks on AskReddit had to say.

1. Sad.

“The face of a 12 yo girl.

She and her mom came to my gas station to buy alcohol. Mother was p*ss drunk. Girl got some chips. Mother got her booze. Girl apologized a thousand times before she helped her mom back to the cab.

This girl looked like she was on the verge of a mental breakdown… 12 years old.”

2. Horrified.

“My sophomore year of high school my health teacher had an old student of his come in and give a presentation, she works in forensics.

I think he thought the presentation would be about what she does at work, how she got there, etc… instead she showed us photos of bodies her team had recovered.

We all sat there horrified. The worst one for me was a week old body they had found sitting in the Mississippi River. This f*ckin lady said, “look how cool the decomposition is on his tattoos!””

3. Don’t need to see that.

“Rotten.com hosted a picture way back in the day of a guy without a helmet who had fallen off of his motorcycle face first. Everything from his nose down was gone.

His tongue was just kind of hanging there. Lower mandible was totally destroyed. He was very much alive, conscious, and looking directly into the camera.

His eyes were the worst part. The genuine terror expressed in those eyes is something I will never ever forget.”

4. Awful.

“Not as much seen as it was heard, but there’s a video of a family driving, and a brick flies off the back of a dump truck and smashes the woman in the front passenger seat in the face and all you hear are screams from the rest of the family.

There was no gore in that video, just the horrid sounds.”

5. Hope it’s better now.

“My toe hanging off my foot by a blood vein.”

6. Brutal.

“My brother passed away at the beginning of the year and his dog was trapped inside the house for three days, there was blood everywhere it was like viscera cleanup but worse, I can’t drink that image away.

I took care of the job so our parents would not see the details,I don’t wish that scene upon anyone.”

7. Saying goodbye.

“My mother dying of brain cancer in a hospital bed.”

8. No way I’m watching that.

“The video of Nick Berg’s death.

I watched it when I was 24 because I wanted to see if I was as desensitized to real life violence as the media (at the time) claimed people of my generation were.

Well, I found out very quickly that I was not desensitized, and I have had nightmares about it ever since.”

9. Demoralizing.

“A group chat of my fiancé’s friends (including some I considered close friends of mine) talking about how I am just the absolute worst piece of sh*t in the world and how it was my fault he was suicidal.

This happening the morning after the absolute worst, heartbreaking, fight we’d ever had and I had no choice but to call the hotline and police because I was scared for him.”

10. OH MY GOD.

” Truck leaves the highway onto the roundabout too fast and runs over an old lady crossing the street. Old lady became mush and my friend got partially covered in blood.

Both of us couldnt go into class, stood at the stairs of the entrance shaking all day.”

11. Car crash.

“A car crash.

A tree had fallen on the car and it had gone off the road. The frame was mangled and the seats were bloodstained. 3 of the 5 people died. I didn’t see the bodies but I saw the blood everywhere the next day and I could imagine the bodies.

And the blood was everywhere. I was 10 or 11 and it was in a third world country and the hospitals there were very bad.”

12. Ugghhhh.

“A girl in her early 20’s that had hanged herself the day prior and was on life support so her organs could be harvested, when I saw her she was convulsing lightly.

Just that she was clearly braindead but also that she had enough brain cells left to make movement possible, it wasn’t gross but it did make me sick to my stomach.”

13. Not a great sight.

“My dad’s junk accidentally popping out of his pj pants when I was a kid.

Sometimes that image pops in my head when we hang out.

Traumatizing.”

14. Gross.

“Kinda lighthearted compared to the other stuff I’m reading but at a restaurant I went into the bathroom and a guy was in there just blowing it up. I typically have an iron stomach but it was borderline dry heave time.

After he was done he got up went and looked in the mirror, wiped his face off and proceeded to leave. No flush or hand washing. Stall door was open so I saw that massacre he calls a sh*t. It was everywhere but in the toilet.

On the way out I saw him just chilling at his table like he didn’t just spread hot tar in there.”

Now we’d like to hear from you.

In the comments, please tell us something that you can’t un-see from your own life.

Please and thank you!

The post People Discuss Things They’ve Seen That They Can’t Get Out of Their Heads appeared first on UberFacts.

Crazy Facts 2020-07-28 20:30:02

The longest palindromic word in the Oxford English Dictionary is the onomatopoeic ‘tattarrattat’, coined by James Joyce in his book Ulysses for a knock on the door. However, the Guinness Book of Records gives the title to ‘detartrated’, stemming from a chemical term meaning to remove tartrates.

The post appeared first on Crazy Facts.