Month: July 2020

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This is Where the Saying “Take It With a Grain of Salt” Comes From

When someone tells you to take something with a “grain of salt,” you should be skeptical about what you’ve heard, because your source may be unreliable.

A grain of salt is tiny. It is also a reflection of not putting too much belief in something that has already proven itself worthy of reservation.

But where does the association between salt and skepticism come from? We’ll tell you what we know, but you take this information with a grain of… well, you know.

Photo credit: Pixabay

The phrase itself goes all the way back to 77 A.D. It’s earliest recorded use comes from Roman naturalist and philosopher Pliny the Elder, who created an antidote to poison in his Naturalis Historia—it called for figs, walnuts, rue (an herb), and a “grain of salt.”

It didn’t appear to have a symbolic meaning until a few hundred years later.

In the 17th-century, Anglican Bible commentator John Trapp included it his A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments as a metaphor concerning his own writing.

Just what its meaning was to Trapp, however, is still unclear.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Over the years, the phrase continued to make its way through the English language in literal and figurative speech, but wasn’t used in its current incarnation until just after the Second World War.

It was then that became widely used by Americans and the British, who slightly altered the phrase to a “pinch” of salt.

In 1948, English author F.R. Cowell first included it with this particular meaning in his book, Cicero & the Roman Republic. According to Cowell, Cicero and those around him “took more than the proverbial pinch of salt before swallowing everything written by these earlier authors.”

Photo credit: Pixabay

Do you use this idiom or know of others with equally fascinating origins?

Let us know in the comments below!

The post This is Where the Saying “Take It With a Grain of Salt” Comes From appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly After Quitting Social Media

Social media is both a blessing and a curse – it can help us feel more connected to others, especially if they live far away, or you know, there’s a pandemic that forces us all to stay in our homes for months on end, but it can also be a time suck, cause anxiety, and lead us to realize that maybe it’s better to not know your friends and family all that well in the first place.

These 13 people decided the bad outweighed the good and pulled the plug – but what happened next?

Well, you’re about to find out!

13. They don’t feel the need to show off.

Well, I am actually very happy that I left both Instagram and Facebook long ago. Although I still use Twitter as it provides latest info and some key instincts on various topics. Instagram and Facebook are kind of a show off place, and it makes you want unnecessary things just for the sake of likes and followers.

So I would not recommend using both the sites as it affects your mental health so f*cking bad that you’ll end up feeling left out or depressed. Although Twitter also has lots of negativity but if you are able to keep yourself away from the political debates then Twitter is very informative.

12. Like most things, it’s only hard at first.

It was hard at first, but now I honestly don’t even miss it. The constant urge to check for notifications has faded away too.

11. They only answer to themselves.

I no longer seek validation from anybody and it’s very liberating !

10. If it’s just not for you.

My partner is very, very into social media. She’s on Instagram… a lot. I don’t have any problem with it, but she said it was very important to her and wanted me to be involved so I gave it a solid effort.

Long story short, I hated how fake it was and the personalities we try to cultivate online. She’s still active online, and I’m not. I’ve been very happy since deleting it.

I’ll probably give it another shot somewhere down the line but it’ll be about things I love doing and not about trying to make my life out to be something it’s not.

9. They can read more books (I like the sound of that).

Only had FB. Deleted (well deactivated) it about 3 weeks ago now.

Honestly I feel better. I’m not a compulsive person. I’m not someone who pays much attention to adverts, fads, fashion trends or the like, but it’s alarming just how much FB can get under your skin.

You post a comment and check it for likes because even if only a little, you want it to be well received by you peers, just like you would in a conversation. Same for comments on others posts. If your phone pings, you feel compelled to answer it as soon as you can to keep up with the conversation.

All this and you have to mind how you might be interpreted. I’m not an argumentative guy. I can be flippant and have a very dry sense of humour and I always seem to put my foot in it and cause people to get the wrong vibe from what I’m saying. It got to the stage that I was so concerned with what I was saying that I would review it so much that I likely made it even worse.

Things came to a head and it was a ‘last straw’ moment when me commenting about a passion of mine was taken as me being selfish and shitty (even though I’d said I wasn’t trying to be shitty). I was just tired of it.

It was odd at first not checking it, but I realised just how much time I wasted on there and how I really didn’t miss it. I mean FB is mostly just shared internet links now, rather than mostly original comments by mates (As it used to be).

I feel happier and a little more mentally free. I also like that when I do chat to a friend I can we can catch up on what we’ve been up to, rather than sort of know what we’ve been up to by looking at FB.

I recommend it to everyone.

I would add that to make it EVEN BETTER, you need to realise just what a waste of time it is. When you leave you need to repurpose that time and not just shift the way you are wasting it. Have a list of 10-15 min jobs you want to get done and if you find yourself thinking of going on FB, do one of those jobs. Or just pick up one of those many books you bought but never read because ‘you don’t have time’.

8. Maybe that’s reason enough to do it.

Honestly one of the best decisions I made. People even tend to be shocked I (20F) don’t have social media.

7. No big changes.

The only changes is that I don’t have notifications like in 30 seconds and I say no when people ask me for that.

6. They just forget it’s a thing.

It’s extremely liberating (especially at first) and now I just honestly forget that social media exists until somebody tells me they saw something on Facebook.

The main benefit of not having socials is you no longer have that “fear of missing out” and don’t spend unnecessary time lurking profiles of people you barely know and don’t care at all about. In hindsight, that’s the biggest drawback/time waster of social media; it’s one thing to follow friends and people you care about, or even celebrities/influencers who motivate and inspire you.

But all those “hundreds” of friends you accumulate over the years who you met once and maybe have a couple of friends in common are just useless noise.

If you’ve had Facebook for awhile and are thinking of deleting it, I highly recommend spending some time going through old photos and downloading/saving the ones you like. I did that and am so glad I did!

5. No more distractions.

They were all just distractions at best. I don’t miss any of them.

I simply found more productive things to pass the time.

Hell, I often consider getting off of reddit too, but I can at least learn things from here and occasionally have interesting conversations or help others.

4. Just never got into it to begin with.

I personally never signed up for anything of it except this.

I think I had a Twitter to signed up for a This Old House raffle or something like 5 years ago.

Never went back to it.

Seems people get to wound up into that stuff.

3. Ummmm. No comment?

I stopped lusting over hot girls.

No I don’t miss it.

2. Because it will make you miserable.

I don’t miss it. In fact, I feel like a haze has been lifted from my eyes. I spend more time outside and doing things with my kids. I read more. Watch more things that I enjoy. I’ve picked up a couple more hobbies.

I’m also less stressed and less depressed. Whether you think you do or not, you compare your life against those around you, and when you’re constantly assaulted by shit on social media…. well, it will make you miserable.

1. They can focus more on life as it happens.

I deleted all my social media besides reddit. I was originally spending waayyy too much time on my phone and wanted to bring it down and actually experience life around me. I deleted Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

I’m a huge advocate now for deleting social media and I honestly didn’t realize how much it consumed my life. Instagram was especially bad for me. I used to follow people who just looked so gorgeous in their photos and get hundreds of likes, but when I posted (which was like once a year b/c I didn’t get many likes) I’d get like 50. Always seeing these people with the beautiful smiles and perfect hair and bodies, living what appear to be living lavish and incredible lives made me hate mine. I deleted Instagram and never once looked back. I’m no longer concerned with getting likes or seeing other people’s fake perfect lives. I support the demise of Instagram 110%.

Facebook and Twitter I didn’t have much of an issue with in terms of comparing my life with others, it was just a black hole that sucked up all my time.

I feel like I live in the moment now. I don’t take pictures for other people to see and like, but I take them for me to look back on and reminisce about the times I had for myself, and no one else. Not shoving my life down everyone’s throat is humbling, and not having everyone’s life thrown down mine is even better. I also feel like I am actually in the moment that I’m in and not sucked in my phone. For example, the other day, my boyfriend and I went wine tasting. While at this one winery, we saw this group of girls all sitting around a table, and every single one was just staring at their phone. Eventually the other 3 did put theirs down, but there was one girl who DID NOT PUT HER PHONE DOWN for the entire time we were there (over an hour). Literally. Meanwhile, both of our phones weren’t even in sight. Why get all dressed up, make the drive to a winery, be sitting in a beautiful and peaceful spot on an absolutely lovely day with your friends, and not get off your phone the whole time? You might as well stay home in your back yard and scroll.

Overall, my mental health has gotten better because I’m not constantly comparing myself to others. And, I actually experience the moment I’m in and not on my phone. Old people may be annoying and out of touch, but they really are right with the younger generations being engrossed by their phones. It’s amazing how much you realize this when you’re no longer doing it.

I’m not at all surprised and I wish I could find a way to cut back myself.

If you’ve ever cut it out, even for a while, what was your experience?

Tell us about it in the comments!

The post People Share the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly After Quitting Social Media appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly After Quitting Social Media

Social media is both a blessing and a curse – it can help us feel more connected to others, especially if they live far away, or you know, there’s a pandemic that forces us all to stay in our homes for months on end, but it can also be a time suck, cause anxiety, and lead us to realize that maybe it’s better to not know your friends and family all that well in the first place.

These 13 people decided the bad outweighed the good and pulled the plug – but what happened next?

Well, you’re about to find out!

13. They don’t feel the need to show off.

Well, I am actually very happy that I left both Instagram and Facebook long ago. Although I still use Twitter as it provides latest info and some key instincts on various topics. Instagram and Facebook are kind of a show off place, and it makes you want unnecessary things just for the sake of likes and followers.

So I would not recommend using both the sites as it affects your mental health so f*cking bad that you’ll end up feeling left out or depressed. Although Twitter also has lots of negativity but if you are able to keep yourself away from the political debates then Twitter is very informative.

12. Like most things, it’s only hard at first.

It was hard at first, but now I honestly don’t even miss it. The constant urge to check for notifications has faded away too.

11. They only answer to themselves.

I no longer seek validation from anybody and it’s very liberating !

10. If it’s just not for you.

My partner is very, very into social media. She’s on Instagram… a lot. I don’t have any problem with it, but she said it was very important to her and wanted me to be involved so I gave it a solid effort.

Long story short, I hated how fake it was and the personalities we try to cultivate online. She’s still active online, and I’m not. I’ve been very happy since deleting it.

I’ll probably give it another shot somewhere down the line but it’ll be about things I love doing and not about trying to make my life out to be something it’s not.

9. They can read more books (I like the sound of that).

Only had FB. Deleted (well deactivated) it about 3 weeks ago now.

Honestly I feel better. I’m not a compulsive person. I’m not someone who pays much attention to adverts, fads, fashion trends or the like, but it’s alarming just how much FB can get under your skin.

You post a comment and check it for likes because even if only a little, you want it to be well received by you peers, just like you would in a conversation. Same for comments on others posts. If your phone pings, you feel compelled to answer it as soon as you can to keep up with the conversation.

All this and you have to mind how you might be interpreted. I’m not an argumentative guy. I can be flippant and have a very dry sense of humour and I always seem to put my foot in it and cause people to get the wrong vibe from what I’m saying. It got to the stage that I was so concerned with what I was saying that I would review it so much that I likely made it even worse.

Things came to a head and it was a ‘last straw’ moment when me commenting about a passion of mine was taken as me being selfish and shitty (even though I’d said I wasn’t trying to be shitty). I was just tired of it.

It was odd at first not checking it, but I realised just how much time I wasted on there and how I really didn’t miss it. I mean FB is mostly just shared internet links now, rather than mostly original comments by mates (As it used to be).

I feel happier and a little more mentally free. I also like that when I do chat to a friend I can we can catch up on what we’ve been up to, rather than sort of know what we’ve been up to by looking at FB.

I recommend it to everyone.

I would add that to make it EVEN BETTER, you need to realise just what a waste of time it is. When you leave you need to repurpose that time and not just shift the way you are wasting it. Have a list of 10-15 min jobs you want to get done and if you find yourself thinking of going on FB, do one of those jobs. Or just pick up one of those many books you bought but never read because ‘you don’t have time’.

8. Maybe that’s reason enough to do it.

Honestly one of the best decisions I made. People even tend to be shocked I (20F) don’t have social media.

7. No big changes.

The only changes is that I don’t have notifications like in 30 seconds and I say no when people ask me for that.

6. They just forget it’s a thing.

It’s extremely liberating (especially at first) and now I just honestly forget that social media exists until somebody tells me they saw something on Facebook.

The main benefit of not having socials is you no longer have that “fear of missing out” and don’t spend unnecessary time lurking profiles of people you barely know and don’t care at all about. In hindsight, that’s the biggest drawback/time waster of social media; it’s one thing to follow friends and people you care about, or even celebrities/influencers who motivate and inspire you.

But all those “hundreds” of friends you accumulate over the years who you met once and maybe have a couple of friends in common are just useless noise.

If you’ve had Facebook for awhile and are thinking of deleting it, I highly recommend spending some time going through old photos and downloading/saving the ones you like. I did that and am so glad I did!

5. No more distractions.

They were all just distractions at best. I don’t miss any of them.

I simply found more productive things to pass the time.

Hell, I often consider getting off of reddit too, but I can at least learn things from here and occasionally have interesting conversations or help others.

4. Just never got into it to begin with.

I personally never signed up for anything of it except this.

I think I had a Twitter to signed up for a This Old House raffle or something like 5 years ago.

Never went back to it.

Seems people get to wound up into that stuff.

3. Ummmm. No comment?

I stopped lusting over hot girls.

No I don’t miss it.

2. Because it will make you miserable.

I don’t miss it. In fact, I feel like a haze has been lifted from my eyes. I spend more time outside and doing things with my kids. I read more. Watch more things that I enjoy. I’ve picked up a couple more hobbies.

I’m also less stressed and less depressed. Whether you think you do or not, you compare your life against those around you, and when you’re constantly assaulted by shit on social media…. well, it will make you miserable.

1. They can focus more on life as it happens.

I deleted all my social media besides reddit. I was originally spending waayyy too much time on my phone and wanted to bring it down and actually experience life around me. I deleted Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

I’m a huge advocate now for deleting social media and I honestly didn’t realize how much it consumed my life. Instagram was especially bad for me. I used to follow people who just looked so gorgeous in their photos and get hundreds of likes, but when I posted (which was like once a year b/c I didn’t get many likes) I’d get like 50. Always seeing these people with the beautiful smiles and perfect hair and bodies, living what appear to be living lavish and incredible lives made me hate mine. I deleted Instagram and never once looked back. I’m no longer concerned with getting likes or seeing other people’s fake perfect lives. I support the demise of Instagram 110%.

Facebook and Twitter I didn’t have much of an issue with in terms of comparing my life with others, it was just a black hole that sucked up all my time.

I feel like I live in the moment now. I don’t take pictures for other people to see and like, but I take them for me to look back on and reminisce about the times I had for myself, and no one else. Not shoving my life down everyone’s throat is humbling, and not having everyone’s life thrown down mine is even better. I also feel like I am actually in the moment that I’m in and not sucked in my phone. For example, the other day, my boyfriend and I went wine tasting. While at this one winery, we saw this group of girls all sitting around a table, and every single one was just staring at their phone. Eventually the other 3 did put theirs down, but there was one girl who DID NOT PUT HER PHONE DOWN for the entire time we were there (over an hour). Literally. Meanwhile, both of our phones weren’t even in sight. Why get all dressed up, make the drive to a winery, be sitting in a beautiful and peaceful spot on an absolutely lovely day with your friends, and not get off your phone the whole time? You might as well stay home in your back yard and scroll.

Overall, my mental health has gotten better because I’m not constantly comparing myself to others. And, I actually experience the moment I’m in and not on my phone. Old people may be annoying and out of touch, but they really are right with the younger generations being engrossed by their phones. It’s amazing how much you realize this when you’re no longer doing it.

I’m not at all surprised and I wish I could find a way to cut back myself.

If you’ve ever cut it out, even for a while, what was your experience?

Tell us about it in the comments!

The post People Share the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly After Quitting Social Media appeared first on UberFacts.

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Killing a House Centipede is NOT a Good Idea

You’re gonna want to pay attention to this.

Countless house centipedes have met their fates at the receiving end of a rolled-up magazine, a cup, or a shoe.

But they’re getting a bum rap.

While they’re indeed creepy and crawly, and they’ve certainly sent the heartiest of us out a room screaming, they’re good to have around. If you can get past your squeamishness, it’s best to let them live.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Centipedes are on a constant search for their next meal. They dine on mostly unseen and more problematic insects, including silverfish, termites, moths, flies, and cockroaches.

House centipedes can have anywhere from 15 to 177 pairs of legs, depending on the species. They use them to stun and capture prey with a technique called “lassoing.” With the pair closest to their head, they poison their victims with venom and wrap themselves around the dying insect for a satisfying meal. This bug is also one of the few that doesn’t have a nest or web and isn’t problematic in terms of disease or destruction to your home.

Photo credit: iStock

If you can’t live with house centipedes, the best defense is a good offense.

Start by getting rid of their food. This means reducing moisture with a fan or dehumidifier, sealing off cracks where pests are prone to settle and lay eggs, and keeping trash indoors to a minimum.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Sure, the occasional centipede will still find his way in, no matter what you do. Just resist the urge to whack one out clean out of existence. You’ll reap the benefits of fewer pests and walk away with improved karma.

Do centipedes make you uncomfortable? Let us know in the comments below!

The post Killing a House Centipede is NOT a Good Idea appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Killing a House Centipede is NOT a Good Idea

You’re gonna want to pay attention to this.

Countless house centipedes have met their fates at the receiving end of a rolled-up magazine, a cup, or a shoe.

But they’re getting a bum rap.

While they’re indeed creepy and crawly, and they’ve certainly sent the heartiest of us out a room screaming, they’re good to have around. If you can get past your squeamishness, it’s best to let them live.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Centipedes are on a constant search for their next meal. They dine on mostly unseen and more problematic insects, including silverfish, termites, moths, flies, and cockroaches.

House centipedes can have anywhere from 15 to 177 pairs of legs, depending on the species. They use them to stun and capture prey with a technique called “lassoing.” With the pair closest to their head, they poison their victims with venom and wrap themselves around the dying insect for a satisfying meal. This bug is also one of the few that doesn’t have a nest or web and isn’t problematic in terms of disease or destruction to your home.

Photo credit: iStock

If you can’t live with house centipedes, the best defense is a good offense.

Start by getting rid of their food. This means reducing moisture with a fan or dehumidifier, sealing off cracks where pests are prone to settle and lay eggs, and keeping trash indoors to a minimum.

Photo credit: Pixabay

Sure, the occasional centipede will still find his way in, no matter what you do. Just resist the urge to whack one out clean out of existence. You’ll reap the benefits of fewer pests and walk away with improved karma.

Do centipedes make you uncomfortable? Let us know in the comments below!

The post Killing a House Centipede is NOT a Good Idea appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Man Found His Nursery School “Bride” 16 Years Later on Twitter

Remember your first love?

No, not the person you met in your teens that may have set you up for relationship success or failure down the road, your real first love. We’re talking about the person you met in kindergarten or grade school that you just couldn’t stay away from.

We’ve all had crushes since our schoolyard days, but rarely did we “marry” them and reconnect later in life. Unlike the rest of us, UK resident Jack Callow, 20, had quite a different experience.

Callow married his first love in what appears to be a full-blown “wedding” celebration with his nursery school friends in attendance. After he posted the photos of their special day to Twitter, he was able to track down his long lost love.

Jack came across the adorable pictures while visiting his grandfather and decided to post them, but never dreamed his “spouse” would be found. Twitter, however, had different ideas, and his post went viral.

It didn’t take too long for the former object of his affection, Rena Jutla, 21, to pop up. The student from Buckinghamshire had forgotten all about the blessed event and didn’t even know photos existed. They absolutely made her day.

Callow says he doesn’t remember much about the day other than the proposal, which prompted the school to take things to another level for the kids.

Their parents joined in, a priest officiated, and 16-years-later, Twitterers everywhere heaved a collective sigh of “awwww.”

Maybe it’s not too late?

Do you remember the very first person who stole your heart?

Share your sweet childhood love story in the comments below!

The post A Man Found His Nursery School “Bride” 16 Years Later on Twitter appeared first on UberFacts.

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Doctors Share the Best Excuses They’ve Heard From Patients With Something Stuck Wayyy Up Yonder

I have a good friend who’s a nurse and he told me that people come in wayyyyyyy more than you’d think with things stuck in their butts that need to be removed.

Ouch!

And the excuses? They usually sound like total bullshit, as you can probably imagine.

So let’s see exactly what’s going on out there.

AskReddit users shared their painful stories.

1. Let’s try something new.

“Had a guy with a screwdriver up there (handle first).

He was honest. Said the wife wanted to try something new.

Why the screwdriver? Something shaped like a dick would have been gay.

I always thought that was a real weird place to draw that line.”

2. Walking awkwardly.

“Guy comes in, walking kinda awkwardly.

Doesn’t take a seat.

When it’s his turn, he’s called up to triage and again, refuses to sit.

“What brings you in today?” I said.

“I.. uh…. I’ve lost a glass. You know, like a tumbler.”

/Shuffles

“Ok. So, why are you here?”

“Well, we had a party that got out of hand last night. I was cleaning the house this morning and I noticed one of my drinks glasses was missing. And I think it might be up my ass.”

That’s it as far as explanation, but sure enough, there it was on x-ray. Rim-side first, so after it disappeared up his asshole, it basically filled itself with shit.

Now, any time people that know the story ask if I’ve seen something they’ve lost, I ask if they’ve checked their asshole.

3. This is what happened.

“Guy came to my hospital with a cue ball stuck in his rectum. Said him and his wife were having sex and this happened. Made no excuses and showed no shame.

ER doc was unable to remove it with forceps and he had to get anesthesia to have a minor surgical procedure to get it out. My job was basically to just go through a pre surgical check list and send him on his way. When I’m done he shouts excitedly ‘Alright, let’s get this ball rolling!’

I almost died laughing. It was near the end of my shift and I always wonder what happened to him. I’m sure he did fine and is back to having amazing kinky sex with his wife.”

4. Ouch!

“Guy told me he was constipated so he stuck the broom handle up there to break up the poop. I almost believed him.

It was half of a broom handle, cut off and wrapped in electrical tape.

All the way inside…”

5. Fun with Barbie!

“My brother was a triage nurse and examined someone that came in with a barbie doll up their arse….

Don’t know if they were male or female though.”

6. That sounds…terrible.

“My sister is a surgical nurse and a guy came into to the hospital with a pool noodle shoved up his ass. It was so deep that they had to cut open is abdomen, intestines and colon to cut the foam out of him.

He said he “fell on it” while swimming nude. But when they cut him open it had a condom stretched over the end of it.

When they confronted him he said “please don’t tell me wife”.”

7. Back in med school…

“I went to med school in the deep south.

Burly, middle aged southern gentleman showed up in the ED. Chief complaint: rectal pain. After a full history, and physical examination couldn’t ascertain the case of his pain other than him saying “feels like something’s up there,” we decided to start with some X-rays.

Before we obtained them, he says: “Alright I’m gonna be square with you. I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when these thugs jumped me out of nowhere, and held me down and stuck a cucumber up my butt. Please you got to get it out.”

I immediately went to get my attending. One surgical consult and G.I. consult later, a cucumber WRAPPED IN A CONDOM was extracted from this man’s rectum.”

8. Loads of stories.

“Friend is a stomach surgeon so always gets called in to pull things out of arses.

He has loads of stories but the one I remember is a guy who had a glass ketchup bottle up his arse. He’d claimed to have returned home with his grocery shopping, realised he’d lost his key so put shopping down and attempted to climb through a high window.

He slipped, fell backwards arse-first onto his groceries and SHLUM! The ketchup bottle just shot up his a-hole. (Ignore that guy was presumably not naked at time).

After removing it at the hospital, my Dr friend said ‘Thats strange. The ketchup you bought is only half full.’

I think the worst thing is that it suggests he was gonna eat the rest of it another time.”

9. Sounds painful.

“A light bulb.

You could always tell when someone came in to the ER with something lodged in their rectum because everyone would be standing around looking at the X-ray. It was still in perfect light bulb shape.

I have no idea how the patient got it up there without breaking it.”

10. If you loved me…

“Had a patient who showed up with his soon-to-be ex-wife. They were “reconciling” at a nearby motel. She convinced him that if he loved her, he would let her put a dildo in his ass. Only it wasn’t a dildo, it was her vibrator without a flared base.

Rule number one of anal play is make sure that it has a flared base. Rule number two is nothing sharp.

The whole thing went up there and he couldn’t get it out. I had to take it out under anesthesia. She felt awful and was crying the whole time. He was a very blue collar, normal dude and she was dressed in very fancy clothes.

An unlikely match in my mind. He was just happy that they were at my urban hospital and not the uppity town about 15 miles away where they lived.

I often wonder what became of them and their marriage.”

11. I don’t remember…

“A glass water bottle in his ass and he’s desperately trying to find an excuse (not one would really ask at that point actually ) he finally said: I don’t remember who put it there.

Couldn’t you just fell from some stairs or something?”

12. Very interesting…

“My friend is a nurse.

She told me about a guy who came into her ER. He claimed to have fallen out of a tree and a branch went right up his ass. They x rayed him and he had this perfectly round wooden rod up his ass. When they removed it they saw that it was sanded, painted and primed.

That branch must’ve come from a genetically modified species of tree lol.

Do you have any particularly embarrassing medical stories?

If so, please share them with us in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Doctors Share the Best Excuses They’ve Heard From Patients With Something Stuck Wayyy Up Yonder appeared first on UberFacts.

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Doctors Share the Best Excuses They’ve Heard From Patients With Something Stuck Wayyy Up Yonder

I have a good friend who’s a nurse and he told me that people come in wayyyyyyy more than you’d think with things stuck in their butts that need to be removed.

Ouch!

And the excuses? They usually sound like total bullshit, as you can probably imagine.

So let’s see exactly what’s going on out there.

AskReddit users shared their painful stories.

1. Let’s try something new.

“Had a guy with a screwdriver up there (handle first).

He was honest. Said the wife wanted to try something new.

Why the screwdriver? Something shaped like a dick would have been gay.

I always thought that was a real weird place to draw that line.”

2. Walking awkwardly.

“Guy comes in, walking kinda awkwardly.

Doesn’t take a seat.

When it’s his turn, he’s called up to triage and again, refuses to sit.

“What brings you in today?” I said.

“I.. uh…. I’ve lost a glass. You know, like a tumbler.”

/Shuffles

“Ok. So, why are you here?”

“Well, we had a party that got out of hand last night. I was cleaning the house this morning and I noticed one of my drinks glasses was missing. And I think it might be up my ass.”

That’s it as far as explanation, but sure enough, there it was on x-ray. Rim-side first, so after it disappeared up his asshole, it basically filled itself with shit.

Now, any time people that know the story ask if I’ve seen something they’ve lost, I ask if they’ve checked their asshole.

3. This is what happened.

“Guy came to my hospital with a cue ball stuck in his rectum. Said him and his wife were having sex and this happened. Made no excuses and showed no shame.

ER doc was unable to remove it with forceps and he had to get anesthesia to have a minor surgical procedure to get it out. My job was basically to just go through a pre surgical check list and send him on his way. When I’m done he shouts excitedly ‘Alright, let’s get this ball rolling!’

I almost died laughing. It was near the end of my shift and I always wonder what happened to him. I’m sure he did fine and is back to having amazing kinky sex with his wife.”

4. Ouch!

“Guy told me he was constipated so he stuck the broom handle up there to break up the poop. I almost believed him.

It was half of a broom handle, cut off and wrapped in electrical tape.

All the way inside…”

5. Fun with Barbie!

“My brother was a triage nurse and examined someone that came in with a barbie doll up their arse….

Don’t know if they were male or female though.”

6. That sounds…terrible.

“My sister is a surgical nurse and a guy came into to the hospital with a pool noodle shoved up his ass. It was so deep that they had to cut open is abdomen, intestines and colon to cut the foam out of him.

He said he “fell on it” while swimming nude. But when they cut him open it had a condom stretched over the end of it.

When they confronted him he said “please don’t tell me wife”.”

7. Back in med school…

“I went to med school in the deep south.

Burly, middle aged southern gentleman showed up in the ED. Chief complaint: rectal pain. After a full history, and physical examination couldn’t ascertain the case of his pain other than him saying “feels like something’s up there,” we decided to start with some X-rays.

Before we obtained them, he says: “Alright I’m gonna be square with you. I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when these thugs jumped me out of nowhere, and held me down and stuck a cucumber up my butt. Please you got to get it out.”

I immediately went to get my attending. One surgical consult and G.I. consult later, a cucumber WRAPPED IN A CONDOM was extracted from this man’s rectum.”

8. Loads of stories.

“Friend is a stomach surgeon so always gets called in to pull things out of arses.

He has loads of stories but the one I remember is a guy who had a glass ketchup bottle up his arse. He’d claimed to have returned home with his grocery shopping, realised he’d lost his key so put shopping down and attempted to climb through a high window.

He slipped, fell backwards arse-first onto his groceries and SHLUM! The ketchup bottle just shot up his a-hole. (Ignore that guy was presumably not naked at time).

After removing it at the hospital, my Dr friend said ‘Thats strange. The ketchup you bought is only half full.’

I think the worst thing is that it suggests he was gonna eat the rest of it another time.”

9. Sounds painful.

“A light bulb.

You could always tell when someone came in to the ER with something lodged in their rectum because everyone would be standing around looking at the X-ray. It was still in perfect light bulb shape.

I have no idea how the patient got it up there without breaking it.”

10. If you loved me…

“Had a patient who showed up with his soon-to-be ex-wife. They were “reconciling” at a nearby motel. She convinced him that if he loved her, he would let her put a dildo in his ass. Only it wasn’t a dildo, it was her vibrator without a flared base.

Rule number one of anal play is make sure that it has a flared base. Rule number two is nothing sharp.

The whole thing went up there and he couldn’t get it out. I had to take it out under anesthesia. She felt awful and was crying the whole time. He was a very blue collar, normal dude and she was dressed in very fancy clothes.

An unlikely match in my mind. He was just happy that they were at my urban hospital and not the uppity town about 15 miles away where they lived.

I often wonder what became of them and their marriage.”

11. I don’t remember…

“A glass water bottle in his ass and he’s desperately trying to find an excuse (not one would really ask at that point actually ) he finally said: I don’t remember who put it there.

Couldn’t you just fell from some stairs or something?”

12. Very interesting…

“My friend is a nurse.

She told me about a guy who came into her ER. He claimed to have fallen out of a tree and a branch went right up his ass. They x rayed him and he had this perfectly round wooden rod up his ass. When they removed it they saw that it was sanded, painted and primed.

That branch must’ve come from a genetically modified species of tree lol.

Do you have any particularly embarrassing medical stories?

If so, please share them with us in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Doctors Share the Best Excuses They’ve Heard From Patients With Something Stuck Wayyy Up Yonder appeared first on UberFacts.

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Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A**

Imagine walking into the emergency room and having to explain this kind of problem to a doctor…

That would be totally humiliating.

But it happens. A lot. Probably way more than any of us realize.

Let’s check out these TRUE stories from AskReddit users.

1. I slipped.

“My mom told me about this one when she was doing rounds in the ER.

Guy came in with a bottle of Worcestershire up his butt. Said he was making a sandwich in the shower and slipped and fell on it.”

2. Honesty…

“I have the worst, but possibly the most honest response I’ve gotten.

I was an EMT and ran a call at a methadone clinic. She was a 28 year old female who had possibly OD’d. When we got there she was sitting on the ground completely naked.

My captain asked what was up her ass to which I responded quickly as “trashbag sir” For some reason there was a contractor bag jammed right up her anus. My captain ordered me to remove it and it felt like I was a magician pulling a bunch of napkins out of a dove, or whatever magicians do.

She looks at me without a word. Until I asked her why there was a trash bag up her ass, at which point she responded ” we didn’t have a condom”

This was my second week on the job.”

3. Disgusting!

“I once had to take a guy to the OR to remove a cucumber from his rectum since it had migrated up further than could be extracted manually.

I don’t remember his excuse, but it had been in there for more than a week and when we took it out it had started to pickle…”

4. Air freshener.

“20 years ago, an ex was an ER nurse. A guy came in with a Magic Mushroom air freshener stuck up in there. He was embarrassed, and did not even attempt to explain it.

She said that when the doctor got it out, he said “Funny. It doesn’t smell pine fresh?” And everybody laughed. I am kind of surprised that didn’t lead to a lawsuit.”

5. Wow…

“RN here.

Had a Jehovahs Witness gentleman admitted to ICU with his bowels perforated. States he had constipation so he decided he needed a cleaning. He happens to do pipework so he hooked some pipes up to the hose then inserted the other end in his rectum to just give it the ol’ swish and dump.

Burst his colon from the pressure and/or the hard pipe crammed up his butt. Unfortunate thing was he needed a blood transfusion but oops, he’s a Jehovahs Witness so no go. I learned then that they actually send a group of people to the hospital to watch you and make sure you don’t stray from your faith.

I always wondered what he told them….”

6. Lost count…

“I’ve lost count how many rectal foreign bodies I’ve removed.

But there was this one kid, well teenager. He got a AA battery stuck up his butt. Told his mom that he had been experiencing constipation and thought his butthole was just too small for the poop to get through, so he was trying to dilate it with the battery.

Umm… yeah… OK.

The kicker was that his mom completely bought this story, and she’s there telling me how this whole thing happened to her precious, innocent son.”

7. Happy holidays!

“A Christmas tree.

Not a doctor, my dads coworker had to have an artificial Christmas tree removed from his ass. Getting decorations off the attic, floor fell through, and he crashed through the ceiling and straight onto the Christmas tree.

He had to be airlifted to the hospital. They said the pressure from his jeans getting rammed up there when he fell is probably what saved him from bleeding out. No I don’t know how far it went up there and I don’t want to ask.”

8. It was still on!

“Friend of mine was doing an ED rotation as a medical student and they had a guy come in around 8pm saying he’d internalized something and couldn’t get it out.

They did the triage and asked him to sit down in the waiting area until a doctor was available. For the next few minutes there’s a really strange humming sound every now and then – which they eventually figured out was because the vibrator was still on.

Turns out usually people wait for the batteries to die before coming to hospital, but this fellow had to pick his wife up from the airport at midnight and didn’t have time to wait.”

9. Let’s get to the truth.

“One claimed that he was assaulted and the perp stuck up a dildo up his behind after the attack. He wouldn’t admitted foul play until we were going to call police.

The second one claimed that “he accidentally fell on this candle cup stand (the most common excuse used by these people).”

10. Attached.

“I was a student at the time working in the ER when medics brought in a couple “attached” to each other.

According to them, they were at a pool party when 1) the lights went out 2) as they were swimming around in the dark, they both felt something “crawl” up their asses…Anal beads. One end in the female, the other in the male.

My friend thinks the reason behind this story is because BOTH their significant others were in the waiting room…”

11. Wasn’t paying attention…

“Not a physician yet – still in medical school. On a shadowing rotation, a young woman came into the ER with a cucumber up her butt. When prompted why and how it got there, she responded with “I wasn’t paying attention while I was cooking”.

Her boyfriend had a different story…”

12. Don’t do drugs.

“Mom worked in admitting for the ER.

Guy came in with flashlight stuck.

She asked why he had done it and he said “well, I was on drugs and it seemed like a good idea. Sober me disagrees”.”

13. I’m not buying that…

“Just last week, my patient said she swallowed a toothbrush as a teen, 20 years ago, when asked about the toothbrush in her colon.”

Now it’s your turn!

Have you ever had to admit something totally embarrassing to a doctor?

Or maybe you are a health professional and have heard some real doozies in your life?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A** appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A**

Imagine walking into the emergency room and having to explain this kind of problem to a doctor…

That would be totally humiliating.

But it happens. A lot. Probably way more than any of us realize.

Let’s check out these TRUE stories from AskReddit users.

1. I slipped.

“My mom told me about this one when she was doing rounds in the ER.

Guy came in with a bottle of Worcestershire up his butt. Said he was making a sandwich in the shower and slipped and fell on it.”

2. Honesty…

“I have the worst, but possibly the most honest response I’ve gotten.

I was an EMT and ran a call at a methadone clinic. She was a 28 year old female who had possibly OD’d. When we got there she was sitting on the ground completely naked.

My captain asked what was up her ass to which I responded quickly as “trashbag sir” For some reason there was a contractor bag jammed right up her anus. My captain ordered me to remove it and it felt like I was a magician pulling a bunch of napkins out of a dove, or whatever magicians do.

She looks at me without a word. Until I asked her why there was a trash bag up her ass, at which point she responded ” we didn’t have a condom”

This was my second week on the job.”

3. Disgusting!

“I once had to take a guy to the OR to remove a cucumber from his rectum since it had migrated up further than could be extracted manually.

I don’t remember his excuse, but it had been in there for more than a week and when we took it out it had started to pickle…”

4. Air freshener.

“20 years ago, an ex was an ER nurse. A guy came in with a Magic Mushroom air freshener stuck up in there. He was embarrassed, and did not even attempt to explain it.

She said that when the doctor got it out, he said “Funny. It doesn’t smell pine fresh?” And everybody laughed. I am kind of surprised that didn’t lead to a lawsuit.”

5. Wow…

“RN here.

Had a Jehovahs Witness gentleman admitted to ICU with his bowels perforated. States he had constipation so he decided he needed a cleaning. He happens to do pipework so he hooked some pipes up to the hose then inserted the other end in his rectum to just give it the ol’ swish and dump.

Burst his colon from the pressure and/or the hard pipe crammed up his butt. Unfortunate thing was he needed a blood transfusion but oops, he’s a Jehovahs Witness so no go. I learned then that they actually send a group of people to the hospital to watch you and make sure you don’t stray from your faith.

I always wondered what he told them….”

6. Lost count…

“I’ve lost count how many rectal foreign bodies I’ve removed.

But there was this one kid, well teenager. He got a AA battery stuck up his butt. Told his mom that he had been experiencing constipation and thought his butthole was just too small for the poop to get through, so he was trying to dilate it with the battery.

Umm… yeah… OK.

The kicker was that his mom completely bought this story, and she’s there telling me how this whole thing happened to her precious, innocent son.”

7. Happy holidays!

“A Christmas tree.

Not a doctor, my dads coworker had to have an artificial Christmas tree removed from his ass. Getting decorations off the attic, floor fell through, and he crashed through the ceiling and straight onto the Christmas tree.

He had to be airlifted to the hospital. They said the pressure from his jeans getting rammed up there when he fell is probably what saved him from bleeding out. No I don’t know how far it went up there and I don’t want to ask.”

8. It was still on!

“Friend of mine was doing an ED rotation as a medical student and they had a guy come in around 8pm saying he’d internalized something and couldn’t get it out.

They did the triage and asked him to sit down in the waiting area until a doctor was available. For the next few minutes there’s a really strange humming sound every now and then – which they eventually figured out was because the vibrator was still on.

Turns out usually people wait for the batteries to die before coming to hospital, but this fellow had to pick his wife up from the airport at midnight and didn’t have time to wait.”

9. Let’s get to the truth.

“One claimed that he was assaulted and the perp stuck up a dildo up his behind after the attack. He wouldn’t admitted foul play until we were going to call police.

The second one claimed that “he accidentally fell on this candle cup stand (the most common excuse used by these people).”

10. Attached.

“I was a student at the time working in the ER when medics brought in a couple “attached” to each other.

According to them, they were at a pool party when 1) the lights went out 2) as they were swimming around in the dark, they both felt something “crawl” up their asses…Anal beads. One end in the female, the other in the male.

My friend thinks the reason behind this story is because BOTH their significant others were in the waiting room…”

11. Wasn’t paying attention…

“Not a physician yet – still in medical school. On a shadowing rotation, a young woman came into the ER with a cucumber up her butt. When prompted why and how it got there, she responded with “I wasn’t paying attention while I was cooking”.

Her boyfriend had a different story…”

12. Don’t do drugs.

“Mom worked in admitting for the ER.

Guy came in with flashlight stuck.

She asked why he had done it and he said “well, I was on drugs and it seemed like a good idea. Sober me disagrees”.”

13. I’m not buying that…

“Just last week, my patient said she swallowed a toothbrush as a teen, 20 years ago, when asked about the toothbrush in her colon.”

Now it’s your turn!

Have you ever had to admit something totally embarrassing to a doctor?

Or maybe you are a health professional and have heard some real doozies in your life?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A** appeared first on UberFacts.