Month: June 2020

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Random Funny Tweets to Improve Your Day

Listen up. When John Solomon Twitter first discovered tweets, he couldn’t possibly have imagined what the site would become. Mostly because that’s not a real person and I don’t know much about the founding of Twitter so I made up a story just now. BUT – however it came about, it’s a pretty incredible place to scroll for lols these days.

Enjoy these 13 random samplings of some of the funniest tweets on the whole entire internet webzone.

13. Sweet like honey

They’re the same picture.

12. A watched pot

Time works differently while cooking.

https://twitter.com/90smujeriego/status/1261726810741575686

11. Buck up

And generations were forever scarred.

10. Snail fail

This is why those things can’t be trusted. They’re basically slugs with body armor.

9. Party on

“Are millennials killing the gender reveal party industry that they created?”

8. Who said that?

Just gotta talk this through.

7. Automotive autonomy

And the 2nd rule of Fight Cl-I mean, family gatherings…

6. He doth protest too much

This is why we can’t have nice things.

5. Stare-master

Not what I meant, better than I asked for.

4. Little gulp

Perfect for my puppuccino.

3. A clean slate

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

https://twitter.com/ForsiMarinov/status/1260957161091403776

2. I’m cancelled

Let’s be realistic…

1. Calendar calamity

We need to just start all over with measuring the passage of time.

Remember to reward the folks who make you laugh on Twitter with your likes and your follows. It means a lot to them. And for just the price of a single cup of coffee a day, you can sip a cup of coffee while you read their funny tweets!

Who’s your favorite person to follow right now?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Random Funny Tweets to Improve Your Day appeared first on UberFacts.

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Memes We Had to Share Because Those are the Rules

Memes. Ya gotta love them. By law. You have to. It is required of you. To be a good citizen of the internet, one must browse, collect, and appreciate memes on an ongoing basis. Lucky for you, we’re here to help you fulfill that duty with a daily dose of dumb from the finest corners of the internet.

So, do your part. Scroll through these 12 memes and leave fitter, happier, and more productive.

12. There’s a party in my pants

And only this cat is invited.

11. No happenings = more nappenings

They’ve had this figured out for a long time.

10. Shock and aww

I would react the same way when I saw teachers in the grocery store.

9. The biggest hero

Hey yeah, what happened to this movie?

8. Hand in hand

That’s what I call a love glove.

7. Rookie numbers

Don’t try this at home.

6. Sweet as syrup

I too need a long nap after eating IHOP.

5. Pitch black

Use the force…ful jamming of your shin into the bed to figure out where it is.

4. Targeted ads

“I see you bought a lamp. Would you like to keep buying lamps forever now?”

3. The nose knows

Has science gone too far?

2. Number one at the box office

Critics are calling it “A movie that’s sure to have your family yelling at each other.”

https://xx-monsterbunnie-xx.tumblr.com/post/186315695094/why-cant-cordy-stay-them-the-film-industry-has

1. Asleep on the job

I demand to speak to my manager.

https://thesinisstronginthisone.tumblr.com/post/186818259312/me-okay-we-got-stuff-to-do-today-lets-go-my

Congratulations, internet denizen! You’ve successfully taken in a healthy dose of memes. Be sure to come back soon for more!

Which one is your favorite?

Tell us in the comments section.

The post Memes We Had to Share Because Those are the Rules appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny Posts That Are Just What the Doctor Ordered

I want you to listen and listen closely.

I’m a doctor and I’m about to prescribe something very important to you.

It’s laughter…non-stop laughter to be specific.

And you’re going to get it in the form of really funny social media posts.

I should probably clarify that I’m not an actual doctor YET, but I’m very close to completing my formal education in fantastic tweets…I’m really close.

Are you ready? Let’s get started!

1. Let’s cut to the chase.

That’s why!

2. Oh, no doubt about it.

Do you remember it, ladies?

3. You are on your own journey now.

Good luck to you!

4. They’re very confused, that’s for sure.

And they’re feeling neglected.

5. Here we go again.

Let’s not even travel down that path.

6. A new sensation.

What is this weird feeling?!?!

7. Not that much different, is it?

Does this sound like your life?

8. Okay, time to figure this out.

Which one is it, again?

9. What a strange year.

And it’s only getting stranger…

10. Someone needs to set this up.

Some real talk right here!

11. Is that too much to ask?

Let me live my life, dammit!

12. What’s the point?

Can anyone out there explain this?

13. That’s a lofty goal.

We hope you can achieve it!

I told you I was a doctor! Aren’t you glad you listened to me?

Okay, let’s keep the laughs coming for days!

In the comments, please share a funny post with us that you think will make us LOL.

Let’s see what you got!

The post Funny Posts That Are Just What the Doctor Ordered appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Who Did Hilariously Stupid Stuff While They Were Drunk

Drunk people are well-known for being hilarious, most of the time because they have no inhibitions and will do and say cr*p that no one sober would dare. As long as your friends are being safe(ish) and not making themselves sick or putting others at risk, you can get some pretty funny stories (and dirt) by being the one who stays sober.

Like these 14 people, who managed to capture some priceless inebriated moments, courtesy of their friends.

14. When those little surprises show up at your door.

Watch the mail 3-5 days after getting wasted at home.

I need to stop shopping online when drunk. from funny

13. When you know, you know.

I guess there really is someone for everyone.

12. At least the boss was cool with it.

At least it was on a holiday I guess.

https://twitter.com/j_duoo/status/933862539967971328

11. I need to know how long this went on before someone stopped him.

Surely he was there with friends?!

This guy who was drunk as f*ck tried to shazam in the silent disco from funny

10. She’s trying to what, exactly?

Maybe it was a hint about wanting pearl earrings?

View post on imgur.com

9. I fail to see the issue.

Cheese is always an appropriate snack, however you eat it.

Apparently my husband was drunk eating last night. from funny

8. How does one even go about messaging an airport?

Also, I’m sure the airport is glad to know someone cares.

7. Wow, that is really special.

And he called himself out. Props.

6. I don’t know why this is a thing that exists.

I kind of want it, though.

Drunk amazon shopping led to a nice surprise from drunk

5. 1% Frosted Flakes.

No word on what percentage of weed, though.

Best friend and a drunk me text from drunk

4. Not sure he’s going to get another date.

Depends on her sense of humor, I suppose.

3. Bless his heart.

I bet he was so proud of himself, too.

View post on imgur.com

2. Probably the correct response.

Drunk you had your best interests at heart.

1. Omg you can’t even tell it’s a pizza.

I guess he forgot to set the timer.

My housemate got back drunk and put a pizza in the oven. Passed out while it was cooking from funny

I’m so happy that cell phone cameras weren’t really a thing when I was in college. Seriously.

What’s the funniest thing you ever caught a drunk friend doing?

Tell us about it in the comments!

The post People Who Did Hilariously Stupid Stuff While They Were Drunk appeared first on UberFacts.

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Things That 20 People Thank Their Friends for Introducing Them To

Friends want the best for each other, so when we find a good television show, read a great book, discover a product that makes our lives easier, or anything cool, really, we want to share!

Sometimes those things tend to be more niche than we realized, and our friends are kind of meh, but other times it’s true that we’ve found something amazing that everyone needs and loves!

These 20 people are sharing instances that were totally the latter, so chances are, you’re going to need and love it, too.

20. I hope you told her thank you.

Settlers of Catan!

My sister is notorious for buying people gifts they won’t like, just to try and impose her own interests on other people. This time it actually worked.

My husband and I have been playing a lot during the lockdown.

19. If you’re not afraid of heights…

Rock climbing.

It’s become my favorite form of exercise, not to mention how fun it is.

18. The most wholesome s*x toy story.

A friend of mine accidentally introduced me to the Hitachi Magic Wand when I was helping her move and it dropped out of one of the boxes. She was entirely nonplussed. I think she laughed and said, ‘My baby!’

I was somewhat of a prude at the time and was suitably scandalized at her being so open about having s^x toys — especially the kind that you had to actually plug in like a f*ckin’ kitchen appliance.

Yeah, that lasted all of thirty seconds after I bought one for myself on her later recommendation. Hoo boy.

17. Good friends are worth their weight in gold.

He introduced me to his closest friends – all really great people.

Now we all have good times together and share so many things of mutual interest. It’s really opened up my world in a way I hadn’t previously thought possible.

16. Anyone who gets you into play a musical instrument is a good friend.

The best thing I got out of my business & economics degree was when my friend gave me a John Mayer CD (back in 2002).

Literally THE reason I started playing guitar.

Now it’s my career!

15. This is definitely a perk of having interesting friends.

New music.

Its always hard for me to figure out what i like and they helped give me so much from the experiences i got out of it.

14. Awwww so sweet, right?

My wife.

37 years ago.

13. Someone always has to urge you to try sushi, but sooo good.

I feel like everything I like was introduced.

I’m sh^t at discovering things on my own.

But I’ll say sushi.

12. When they make you a better person.

I started living with my best friend cause we went to same city for college. She introduced my stubborn mind to accepting things I don’t necessarily agree with.

She teached me silently how to be a better listener, how to judge less. She taught me to enjoy silence and how meaningful silence can be- only two people who are completely comfortable with each other can stand in silence and not be annoyed or uncomfortable. In return I taught her to stood up for what she believes, to be a better speaker. I showed her how fun the noise can be. I introduced her to my friends, cause she had just one beside me. A good friendship between two people who are complete opposites in everything they are and do, can change both of your lives for better.

11. I’m still waiting for someone to introduce me to this.

D&D. I would have never played otherwise and it’s so much fun!

10. It could go either way, depending on the day.

Reddit

On second thought, I’m not so sure I’m happy about it.

9. It’s the best when you finally give in and feel all sheepish.

Although I’d been a life long Stephen King fan, I had always avoided the Dark Tower series.

A friend kept pushing me on them, insisting I would love them. Stephen King cowboys? No thanks. Finally he bought me the first four in a paperback gift set. Series is now one of my favorite reads of all time. I can’t thank him enough for insisting. Ka at work.

8. A good game is the gift that keeps on giving.

stardew valley.

it changed my perspective on a lot of things surprisingly, like turning children into doves. it can be productive

7. You’re never too old to have fun.

Minecraft.

I was mid twenties and they spent years trying to get me to play but I thought it was a kids game. I finally played one day and loved it so much that I spent the next four years way more into it than they ever were.

6. Too many people turn their noses up at this.

Board games!

Too bad after I’m married and got my son we never hang anymore.

I kinda miss spending a whole day playing boardgames with my friends.

5. Good sleep is essential to health.

Sleep.

Seriously. I stayed up all night, had sh^tty sleep hygiene and poor mental health. We lived together for 6 months and she helped me get on a sleep routine. Changed my life.

4. Everyone deserves to celebrate their birthday in style.

Nice birthday gifts.

Before I met them I’d never really gotten much birthday gifts( I’ve already always been the kinda person that always gets close people birthday gifts) but my friends bought me a teddy bear for my birthday and came to my home to hide it in my cupboard after I left for school. Then later when they saw me at school all 4 of them gave me stuff like earrings / rings/ chokers and all that. Explosion boxes too—with my pictures, their writings, our pictures together.

Best friends I could ever ask for. I’m blessed.

3. That’s one small way to change a life.

The fact that you can cook your eggs in your noodles while you’re boiling them.

2. This is an eye-opening moment for everyone.

Buying better clothes.

I used to buy everything at Goodwill even though I saved up enough money to spend it. Nothing matched and it didn’t fit properly. Eventually my friend took me out, told me to take some pride in my looks, and bought me new clothes. Looking back, I looked like the definition of a poor virgin. Thanks Adam.

1. That’s a very good friend.

My friend introduced me to the definition of narcissistic personality disorder.

I was going through a lot with my family and constantly being gaslighted. She sent me articles all about it and I never felt more relieved to know I wasn’t insane and I was actually being severley manipulated.

Wow, I wish some of these people were my friends!

Are you going to try some of these? Which ones? Tell us in the comments!

The post Things That 20 People Thank Their Friends for Introducing Them To appeared first on UberFacts.

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Looking for a Laugh? We Found These Hilarious Memes for You.

If you’re having one of those days when you need a break and a giggle, what better way to make that happen than to scroll through a list of memes.

And easier yet? Let us pull some great ones together – like these 12, which we think are definitely good for a laugh.

12. Why do we always think that will work?

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

11. No one makes good decisions at 3am.

Although you could argue that cheese is never a bad decision.

10. My basement is full of boxes from our move.

My husband just can’t bring himself to toss them, even though I’ve promised we’re never moving again.

9. Awwww this is bs though.

Also, being single is awesome.

8. It’s going to be so great.

Netflix makes everything better. They’d better not dump The Office.

7. Experience teaches everyone.

Just wait until you’re in your 40s.

6. This is a universal truth.

I don’t think it’s ever going to change, either.

5. My heart.

Unless there are bird feeders around, and then down with squirrels.

4. I mean, you tried.

Also this image really makes me miss The Good Place.

3. This is so true it hurts.

Just ask my mother.

2. Hahahaha every single day whyyyy.

We’re never going to get up early and be productive, are we.

1. It’s like some kind of cosmic joke.

But you know. Not really a funny one.

I’m feeling refreshed (and ready for another cup of coffee)!

Which meme was your favorite? Tell us in the comments!

The post Looking for a Laugh? We Found These Hilarious Memes for You. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Memes That Should Be Good for a Giggle

There are so many ways to insert a giggle or two into your day, but perhaps no way as simple or wholesome as a good, funny meme on the internet.

We think these 13 are pretty darn great for a laugh, so go ahead and give them a try!

13. I’m going to give this one a try.

Not sure this is going to work, but it might be worth a shot.

12. That awkward moment when…

It’s fun to be the one watching this unfold, though.

11. When the perfect moment just pops up.

There’s no point in resisting.

10. Every time!

Even though you swear it wasn’t there just a minute ago…

9. That is some hard core love right there.

I mean, I’m not mad about it, but still.

8. Hahaha you gotta appreciate the effort.

Some jokes just take a while to get going.

7. This is not a good way to live.

Sometimes you just have to ride along for awhile, though.

6. We all have one of these.

And we hang on like grim death.

5. This. Is. Classic.

This mother deserves an award.

4. This is the god’s honest truth.

Please don’t try it. Save yourselves.

3. This is very relatable content.

Every show should include a recap at the beginning with the option to skip.

2. Trees are excellent huggers.

And they don’t leave their socks lying around the house, either.

1. I have no idea what’s going on here.

Pass the popcorn.

I’m feeling more like tackling the day already – how about you?

Which ones were your favorites? We want to hear in the comments!

The post Memes That Should Be Good for a Giggle appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About the Pettiest Hills They’re Willing to Die On

With social media feeds and a non-stop news cycle, it feels like we’re all expected to have strong opinions on just about everything. And even still, each of us manages to find something stupid to adhere to so firmly and passionately that people around us will say “Dude, why do you care so much?”

These passions were revealed en masse when user shazulmonte took to r/AskReddit with the question:

What is the pettiest, silliest, most meaningless hill you are willing to die on? from AskReddit

It probably won’t shock you to learn that tens of thousands of people had some VERY strong opinions that they were EAGER to share.

Here are a few of the best ones:

1. Put. Things. Away.

After you’ve finished using something, say, a pair of scissors or a flashlight,

PUT THEM BACK WHERE THEY f*ckING BELONG

so the next person can use them!

– Ambrosia_the_Greek

2. Practice good elevator etiquette.

The people ON the elevator EXIT FIRST; that means BEFORE the losers waiting FOR the elevator ENTER.

ALWAYS.

EVERY TIME.

NO EXCEPTIONS.

If I’m riding an elevator, and you try to get on before letting me off, I will make it awkward for everyone involved and I will have literally no shame. Is negative shame possible? I will have negative shame for making you feel awkward trying to block me from getting off the elevator.

– Alecara

3. Proximity is key in communication.

Please don’t try to have a conversation with me when I’m in another room, especially if I’m doing dishes, laundry, making food, showering, etc.

I’m trying to listen to you, but cannot clearly hear what you’re saying. Odds are I’m going to ask you to repeat yourself three times or I’m going to ignore you until I can come to where you are. Either way, you’ll likely be pissed about it.

I now understand why that pissed my mother off so much when I was younger.

– SpanglesMcGlorywings

4. Toss your trash.

For the love of all holy f*cks, if you take the last of something THROW THE f*ckING BOX/BAG AWAY…

SINCERELY, ALL PARENTS EVERYWHERE

– norsemedic

5. Know the difference!

Every day: something that happens every day

Everyday: ordinary, unremarkable

– alberach

6. Never be “that guy.”

Having any sound coming from your phone over the speaker in public.

TF is wrong with you? I don’t need to hear your sh^tty music OR your conversation!

– notathr0waway1

7. I’d like to not die on the road, please.

Those new ‘extra safe, high visibility’ headlights should not be installed in any vehicles larger than a wagon.

I don’t need LED spotlights pointing into my eyes from the front and all three mirrors.

Seeing is fun for other drivers too.

– redbeardeddragon3

8. You’re old enough to know how aisles work.

You’re not the only person in the grocery store, lady! Move your cart to the side IN ANTICIPATION of others trying to get by.

It’s not predicting the future and you really need to work on your spacial awareness.

– Bumblebeee_tuna_

9. Don’t be a looser.

You LOSE LOOSE change.

Your team did not loose.

You did not loose your wallet.

You don’t have lose change.

This is my Waterloo.

– Ricky_Rollin

10. I will not be cable-shamed.

That box of useless cables in my closet?

You know the one that has a bunch of old USB cables, RCA cables, even S-Video cables, and a sh^t load of AC adapters I can’t find the ends for?

Yeah, that box is mine, and I will NEVER throw it away.

Even if it only comes in handy once a year, I’ll be damned if it doesn’t feel great feeling like a dang hero when your friend or family member needs one of those “useless” cables for something.

– alwaysmyfault

11. Star Trek is responsible for in-universe mass genocide.

That teleporters kill the person and create replicas on the other end.

– poorfolkbows

12. For all. Intents. And Purposes.

I may very well consider murder whenever I see/hear the use of “for all intensive purposes”.

– omar1993

13. Take the time!

When not in use, the microwave is a clock.

Stop leaving your unused time on there!

You just have to hit the cancel button once, damn!

– NotTheNoogie

14. Stand up to the man.

I work in a national grocery chain known for its organic foods.

My job just started implementing break logs for our 10 minute breaks, we don’t have to punch out for them and get 2 per day.

Someone was caught taking longer breaks and instead of talking to said person like an adult we all have to keep log of our breaks.

Im a grown ass man and won’t sign the logs because I don’t believe in collective punishment.

– Spruciegoose

15. Phone aversion is real.

I will go to enormous lengths in order to avoid speaking with someone over the phone.

Email, text, go to their office, sit and fume …. I don’t know why exactly, but I f*cking hate it.

– RADevilsAdvocate

Reading these over, I’ve started to wonder what my weird hill to die on is. If I had to pick just one, I’d say it’s that everybody uses the word “theory” wrong when talking about science stuff. LOOK IT UP.

What’s YOUR petty cause?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Talk About the Pettiest Hills They’re Willing to Die On appeared first on UberFacts.

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This is What Sucks About These 10 Different Age Groups

Life’s a long journey, filled with joys and sorrows, victories and defeats. So often we look back on some former stage of life, or look forward to a new one, but how often do we take honest stock of where we are?

That kind of introspection took place on a grand scale when user _red_roof_ took to r/AskReddit to pose the question:

What sucks about being your age? from AskReddit

People chimed in from all across the age spectrum. Many didn’t mention their actual age, but some did, allowing us to construct a timeline of sorts.

Here, according to the people of Reddit, is exactly what sucks about these 10 stages of life, in chronological order.

1. Early Teens

I’m 13 turning 14 in June.

I hate people telling me i’m to old for things like Easter egg hunts, playing with dolls, or i’m too big to love on my parents.

Like i don’t think i asked for your f*cking opinion.

– IEatKidsForLunch

2. Late Teens

I’m not sure if this happens with all people my age, but I’m 18 and people (specifically my parents and close family members but not limited to them) will use the “you’re 18, you’re legally an adult you need to be doing these things on your own” whenever it will work in their favor then immediately go back to “you’re still just a teenager/you’re still my kid” whenever I try to be even the slightest bit independent.

– Marsey12

3. Mid 20’s

Worst part is that your mid 20’s feels like where you make it or break it.

Some of my old friends are absolutely killing it making 6 figure salaries, have houses, nice cars, pets all that.

While here I am scr*ping by feeling like a complete failure because I took way longer to take life seriously and get through school.

Now I am way behind in the corporate ladder and feeling like I really screwed up somewhere.

– shmehh123

4. Late 20’s

I’m 29.

5 couples from my friends circle are expecting a child or recently got married, a few others have built a solid foundation in their career and are buying houses (most of us grew up in apartment buildings, so it feels fancy to own a house at 30 where I’m from).

Meanwhile I’m currently a student and broke.

It feels like everyone’s so far ahead in life that they’ll always be a step further and I’ll never catch up.

– MedbGuldb

5. Early 30’s

The early 30s is that weird age where you’re just old enough to be out of touch with what’s cool, but not yet old enough to be fully progressed in your career to be sitting on enough stacks to not care about that.

Getting there at least.

– slowhand88

6. Early 40’s

Being 40 and still looking younger than I am but always reading on Reddit and various other places how women have no value at my age.

– SpaceJetta

7. Late 40’s

49 year old here.

The menopausal hot flushes etc are not a problem but putting 4 stone in weight on in 8 months is f*cking awful

– whistleboxfart

8. Late 50’s

Nearly sixty.

I forget things all the time. Easy to remember old things, hard to remember new things.

I once loft my card in an atm twice in one month. all my passwords have to be written down somewhere, as do the birthdays of my lids.

I constantly get fatter, even though I don;t eat any more.

I haven’t had regular sleep patterns for 20 years.

Every day I’m a little more tired.

– TheDevilsAdvokaat

9. Late 60’s

Being retired, the two things that really suck are:

Watching good friends pass away yearly.

Having to push through the aches and pains of old age to do the things you enjoy.

But I realize that I’m luckier than many of my friends who have had hip, knee or shoulder replacements or open heart surgery.

– intransit47

10. Early 70’s

At 73 I am reminded daily… by my body… that I’m not 25 years old anymore.

– genehil

Pretty insightful and interesting, if a little bleak. Someone should hop on this subreddit and ask the opposite: what’s GREAT about being your age? I’d very much like to read through those answers as well.

What’s great/sucks about being your age?

Let us know in the comments.

The post This is What Sucks About These 10 Different Age Groups appeared first on UberFacts.