Enjoy These Dumb Things Folks Said on Twitter

Let’s face the facts…people…aren’t too bright

In fact, you could even go so far as to call them STUPID.

Am I right, or am I right? Of course, I’m right. And here’s the proof.

1. Pay attention to your words.

2. That’s a great question.

3. Habla Espanol?

4. Barack Alabama.

5. That’s the Liberian flag, FYI.

6. Hell yeah! I’m a big fan.

7. A total cycle path.

8. What are they talking about?

9. Are you a doctor? You sound like one.

10. There’s this new invention I need to tell you about…

11. Black, Pinto, it doesn’t matter.

12. It’s what this day is all about.

Yowza…people never cease to amaze me.

How about you?

Have you seen anyone say anything particularly dumb on social media lately?

Please share some posts with us in the comments!

The post Enjoy These Dumb Things Folks Said on Twitter appeared first on UberFacts.

Funny Signs From a Texas Restaurant That Might Make You Howl

During this crisis we’re all going through, THANK GOD that a lot of restaurants are still open for takeout.

One of those places is the El Arroyo in Austin, Texas. They’re not only open, they’ve stepped up their sign game in a major way to make customers and passers-by have a hearty laugh in this time of uncertainty.

Here are 13 signs from the El Arroyo that are pretty darn funny.

1. My hands have an alcohol problem.

Are you going through this right now, too?

2. Now you’re in the dog’s shoes…

Going a little stir crazy, are we?

3. That’s what we’ve been reduced to at this point.

How do you feel about this turn of events?

4. Carpe all those Diems, people!

That’s gonna feel pretty good, huh?

5. Try to avoid this if possible.

Nobody wants to hear your Zoot Toot.

6. They make an excellent point. 

Good thing we don’t have to hunt tacos in the wild, huh?

7. Ahhhhh! The horror!

That poor SOB…I’ll pray for him or her.

8. Sweats 4 Lyfe.

All day, every day! At least for now…

9. Good for your boobs!

Let them be free!

10. Summer body is put on hold until 2021.

Too much pizza, nachos, beef jerky, beer, tequila, the list goes on and on.

11. That wasn’t very professional.

You should refer them to HR.

12. Suzie is really acting out in class lately!

Are you having these kinds of conversations in the mirror?

13. Six feet apart, people…

Words to live by…

I’d love to go back to Austin and give this place a shot. My motto in life is “I can eat Mexican food every day of my life for every meal and I’d still never get sick of it.”

How about you? Have you seen any funny signs from businesses during this whole lockdown?

If so, please share a photo or tell us about it in the comments.

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Funny Mental Health Memes That We Love

It’s important to look after your mental health.

And it’s especially crucial right now during this total shit show we’re all living through.

But we need to laugh in order to keep our spirits up, so let’s enjoy these tweets about trying to stay sane!

1. Here we go again.

2. Don’t leave me.

3. That was quick.

Oof ouch owie my mental health from dankmemes

4. Don’t make this a joke.

5. You’ll get through it.

Oof my mental health from dankmemes

6. Don’t try me…

7. Put on a smile.

Happy Mental Health Awareness Week! from dankmemes

8. You were saying?

9. Oh no!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

10. That’s not good…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

11. All of that stuff.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

12. This could be dangerous.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

Those are funny…and totally accurate…

How are holding up right now?

Talk to us in the comments!

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Here are Some Signs With Attitude That Might Make You Laugh Today

There are tons of boring jobs out there. Somebody has to make and change the signs for all kinds of businesses, and you know that can’t exactly be a crazy adventure. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun with it – like the people on this list did.

These are twelve examples of signs and other pieces of writing with attitude that would probably make you stop and snort if you came across them in the wild.

12. The great white nope

11. No need to wine about it

10. Shave-shaming is gonna take off

9. The moral fabric of the universe

8. Don’t forget to wave

7. That’s a lot of words for “volunteer”

6. They tryin’ to start a cat fight?

5. Thanks for the tip

4. Sounds like a little much

3. Unexpectedly wholesome

2. I can’t tell if this is intentional or not

1. Signed, The Ministry of Silly Walks

Seems like signs in general are getting less formal and more playful as culture changes. Maybe it’s just a sign of the times.

…I’ll see myself out.

What’s the funniest sign you’ve ever seen?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post Here are Some Signs With Attitude That Might Make You Laugh Today appeared first on UberFacts.

10 Funny Memes About the Power of Pizza Rolls

I love pizza rolls. When I came in second place at a competition in college, I celebrated/consoled myself with a huge bag of pizza rolls. I was once in a pizza roll commercial where we were told several times that we needed to be comfortable eating pizza rolls on camera, and yet, we never got to. I was severely disappointed. These are both completely true stories.

That’s why it warms my heart so much that pizza rolls, and their preparation technique, have gained an entire sub-genre of memes. Here are a few examples to enjoy, maybe with a snack.

10. Beauty takes time

Via: memebase

9. The hierarchy

8. Go the extra mile

7. Why are so many of these Spongebob related?

6. My disappointment is non-existent and my day is saved

5. Even Gordon Ramsey would have nothing to say

4. Drake & bake

3. It’s big brain time

2. I will never financially recover from this

Source:

1. All gone

Via: me.me

Hate to stop when I’m on a roll like that, but I need to go get something out of my freezer and into my oven now.

What’s the absolute best flavor/preparation technique for pizza rolls?

Vote in the comments.

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10 Karen Tweets Everyone Will Probably Laugh At

There’s a word I like to use: “nontroversy.” I wish I could attribute it to whomever first coined it, but I can’t remember where I heard it. A nontroversy is a non-controversy, or, if you prefer, a nonsense controversy. My favorite nontroversy in recent memory is whether the “Karen” meme should be considered some kind of slur. You’ll catch think pieces and posts about it that are difficult to parse out; are they serious? Are they joking? Who would actually be upset about this?

To demonstrate the hilarity and thorough harmlessness of the Karen meme, here are some Karen tweets that should make just about anybody laugh, no matter their swoopy hairstyle. Some of them don’t even use the “Karen” as a punchline, but more of a comedic flourish.

10. This is my fight song

9. Every Karen needs a Floyd

8. Supply and demand, Karen

7. I was told there would be yarn

6. You’re losing kitchen privileges

5. More at 11

4. I’d like to bark at your manager

3. A natural disaster

2. Thing cost money!?

1. Such a Leo thing to say

If you don’t want to be seen as a Karen, the first step is probably not taking Karen jokes too seriously.

Which one is your favorite?

Tell us in the comments.

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Memes You’ll Love or Your Money Back!

Memes sure are great. There’s really not a day so bad that it can’t be improved at least a little bit by a solid meme. But who’s got time to hunt them all down? No worries, you lovely, lazy, soul. We’ve got a collection right here.

Sit back. Scroll down. Enjoy these 15 thoroughly random memes.

15. We got a 23-19!

14. Good boi of the year

13. Tell Lexi I love her

12. Cat-itude

11. That’s one way to do it

10. If you’ve got time to lean…

9. Thank you for your service

8. Taste the rainbow

7. Fly, you fool

6. Tag yourself, I’m fire gator

5. Still too close together

4. But I read it on the internet

3. It’s a cera-bration

2. I for one welcome our merciful feline overlords

1. I don’t like the “w” in “wfh”

Feel free to go back through and look at them all again, if you want. It’s a free internet, after all.

Where do you go to get the best memes?

Tell us in the comments.

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At-Home Baking Failures to Make You Feel Better About Yourself

More of us are cooking or baking at home right now, and we’re not all…very good at it. But, like they say, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and the path toward edible creations starts with some baking abominations.

Lucky for us, a lot of people have a good enough sense of humor about it to post their culinary misadventures publicly that we may revel in the failure together. Here are a few great examples.

12. It’s trying to escape

View this post on Instagram

Just don’t ask… #sourdough #bakingfail

A post shared by North London Allotment (@north_london_allotment) on

11. Cooking makes me pretty pooped

10. I um…see the light?

9. We’re all in this together

8. This is the start of a Gremlins movie

7. The boxy bunny

View this post on Instagram

Epextecation vs reality. LOL! Happy Easter!#bakingfail

A post shared by Heidi Kennedy (@heidi_montana) on

6. Are those…manholes covers?

5.  Festering frosting

4. Burninate

3. These look like ancient symbols

2. Don’t trust the crust

1. At least they’re smiling?

It’s good to try new things. It’s good to be bad at those things for a while. If you like it, keep at it. And keep sharing the failures, cause they’re really funny.

What’s your biggest kitchen fail?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets to Make Your Day a Little Bit Better

How would you rate today on a scale of 1 to 10? 1 being horrible, 10 being amazing. No matter where you fall on that scale, these tweets should boost you up by at least a couple of points. Yes, even if you’re at a 10, somehow. Be prepared to experience a 12.

Enjoy these fifteen funny food-for-thoughts from the world of Twitter, and let them brighten your day.

15. Deliver us from destruction

14. S**T: Chapter II

13. Flavor is fragile

12. State of the state

11. Ain’t no laws when you’re drinkin’ claws

10. Gonna just Zoom from the Tomb

9. Why does everything take effort

8. Egg-cellence in broadcasting

7. Pupper pundits

6. A window of time

5. Next level cold

4. We’re all Hollywood insiders

3. He pounce

2. Time is an illusion

1. Ask your doctor if giving up is right for you

If these have failed to raise your day quality by at least 20%, please send all complaints to Twitter. Just at whoever, I’m sure they’ll get it.

Which tweet was your favorite?

Let us know in the comments.

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People Talk About Red Flags That Are Warning Signs in Friendships

Paying attention to red flags is not just limited to romance.

You need to look for them in your regular friendships as well. Trust me on this one, a terrible friend can make your life just as miserable as someone you’re sleeping with.

So remember to keep your eyes open with your friends as well because a bad friend can be a major bummer and they can be really hard to get rid of.

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.

1. Don’t bring the bad vibes.

““Good vibes only” friends. That mentality is fine to have with yourself. But you can’t force that on others.

My best friend adopted this attitude and from then on, whenever I would come to her for support or advice on an issue I was having, she’d cut me off and say, “Ah ah ah! Good vibes only, remember?” Because I was bringing her down.

I put up with it for a long time because I thought she was right, that I was burdening her. But then I finally realized that that’s not how real friends act. They’re supposed to support and help each other.”

2. I’m over here!

“Having their damn phone in their face the whole time. If they do that, they don’t want a friend, they want company. It’s not the same.”

3. This drives me insane.

“Friends who constantly call you for advice but, never take it and continue to involve you in their drama.

If you’re not going to make moves to improve your situation stop asking me for help.”

4. Pay attention to these.

“When they pressure you to do things for them (or a certain way) and act like you were on board the whole time. (coercion)

They say they are “holding you accountable” to something you never wanted in the first place. (gaslighting)

They take the “high road” when you get angry because they won’t respect your boundaries. (play the victim).”

5. Insensitive.

“They never say anything supportive of you. But they will point of your flaws, and can’t wait to burn you, because its funny, to them.

And then the follow up of “you’re too sensitive” “It’s just joking”.”

6. This is frustrating.

“Friends that are a one way street. I was always the one to message, call, or make plans with them. I was always the one to check up on them to see if they were okay. I always offered a helping hand and be there for them.

I decided to stop to see if they would reach out to me, but we never spoke to me again. Oh, well.”

7. “Emotional vampires.”

“Friends that aren’t happy for your success and happiness, but are very close when you’re sad.”

8. Look out for this one.

“This is subtle and a bit counterintuitive but beware of the rescuer-martyr. The person that’s always rushing out to help and give everyone else their all whether or not it’s needed or whether the recipient is comfortable with it. They are good people, very well intentioned and saintly in their generosity with their time and energy.

However, sometimes it goes to the extreme and then it’s more a symptom of a toxic cycle where they only get meaning and self-worth when they are saving someone; or maybe they keep swooping into other people’s lives to fix things in hopes that someone will do the same for them.

They may have good intentions but they tend not to have good boundaries; they get overinvolved in your life; take on way too much and make everyone’s problems their own. They end up overwhelmed, mired in drama, and resentful. And then they become the martyr.

The problem with being friends with this type of person is that you’re not in an equal friendship where you like each other, enjoy spending time with each other; and when there happen to be downs, you support each other through them.

It’s more like you’re a project, everyone’s a project; and once you stop being a project you’re now support – not just for them and their own problems, but part of the fire brigade for their other projects (which they’ve internalized as their own problems and drama).”

9. That gets pretty old.

“If you have had a friend for a long time, but you only seem to be able to talk about memories in the past.

Each time you get together or exchange messages, it’s “Remember in high school….” or “Remember that time when….”

Could be a sign that you both have grown apart and do not have much in common today that you can connect on.”

10. All about them.

“Friends who are always happy to talk about themselves but never once ask you how you’re doing or anything engaging you to talk about yourself.”

11. Best friends!

“Personally I’ve always had bad experiences with people who say everyone is their “best friend.”

When my best friend in high school started calling 10 different people including me her best friend, that was when I knew I was just an accessory, and she was trying to surround herself with people to love her.”

12. This happens ALL THE TIME.

“When they ditch you the moment they start dating someone.”

13. Bullying is bad.

“They try to correct your personal preferences for you. Bully you out of liking certain clothing/music/foods/art, etc. They’ll often frame it as if they’re doing you a favor.

It’s a sign of emotional immaturity when people treat others like play objects rather than human beings.”

14. Don’t be a flake.

“Being flaky.

Nobody is that busy for a 2 second text to cancel plans or to not even agree to them at all.”

Beware of these kinds of people!

It’ll probably help you out a lot in the long run.

What are the red flags you look for in your friendships?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

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