Month: April 2020

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Memes You’ll Deeply Understand If You’re Lazy

Do you ever feel lazy? I do sometimes. Like for instance, I found this collection of lazy memes and I wanted to share them with you, but I’m supposed to write an introduction to it first, and that just feels like a lot of work right now. Hmm. What’s the laziest way I could write this listicle? Let’s see.

Webster’s Dictionary defines “lazy” using words, probably. I didn’t look it up.

Memes are good. Tweets are funny.

Wanna look at em? (Nailed it.)

10. The void stares back

Via: someecards

9. Does sleep count?

Via: someecards

8. I know how to cope

Via: someecards

7. By “plans,” I mean “pillows”

Via: someecards

6. It all adds up

Via: someecards

5. Workplace etiquette is important

4. It’s called social distancing

3. This minute is a long day

2. While you’re out there could you grab me a beer?

1. A penny snoozed is a penny earned

In conclusion, this is the end part that I wrote. I hope you enjoyed my very good and not at all lazy work. Goodnight.

What’s the laziest thing you’ve ever done?

Tell me about it before my hand falls asleep on the keyboarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Things About God That You Won’t Find in the Bible

Stories about God are pretty big in this country.  According to one survey, 87% of Americans own a Bible, but only about 20% have actually read the whole thing. There’s a good reason for that: it’s a really, really big book. Like, over 1,000 pages in super small font big. If you read one chapter every single day, it would take you over three years to finish.

Since so few of us have actually read it cover to cover, it can be hard to know what came from that book and what came from nowhere. These tweets are definitely the latter. I think. But until I finally finish the good book, I can’t know for sure. Here are 10 alternate Bible passages for your theological enjoyment.

10. The Banning of the Unicorns

9. The Curse of Almonds

8. The Ocean of Irony

7. The Bird-Slam

6. The Cock-Up

5. The Accidental Plague

4. The Humblefly

3. The Woke Boi

2. The Serpent Slither

1. The Creation Session

Honestly, I think I’d be more likely to head back to church if these were in the sermons.

What’s your pitch for a new Bible story?

Tell us in the comments.

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Memes to Give You Your Funny Fix

Hey you. You wanna see some memes? I got the good stuff. Pure, uncut, random, high-quality internets. You come to me whenever you need your fix, alright? And tell your friends. But NO COPS.

The first taste is free. The next several tastes are also free. Memes are free. Alright, now let’s open this trench coat and see what we’re working with.

10. Bed, party of one

Via 9-5 Life

9. Wait ’till I get my hands on me

8. We all nose better

7. Namastay. Namasit.

6. She’s dead serious

5. Get busy gettin’ drowsy

4. Trunk and disorderly

3. Hindsight is like 20/40

2. That’s good social distancing

1. Have your cake and have it too

Alright now scram before somebody catches us with this much dankness. Meet you here again in like five minutes.

What meme stash is your go-to?

Tell us in the comments.

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Memes You Should Look At Instead of Worrying Right Now

With more time spent at home comes more nonstop bad news, speculation, confusion, and worry. But one constant always remains: memes. Memes respond to whatever’s going on with the world, usually through a filter of weirdly reassuring irony.

So let’s put down the troubles for a minute and look at some memes. 10 out of 10 doctors that I just made up recommend it!

12. I’d have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for that meddling me

Via: someecards

11. It’s getting cold

Via: someecards

10. I’m basically a supercomputer

Via: someecards

9. We’re switching to poop rations

Via: someecards

8. The wading is the hardest part

Via: someecards

7. Put the fries in the basket

Via: someecards

6. Who’s laughing now, mom?

Via: someecards

5. The only cooking channel I watch

Via: someecards

4. It was my idea all along

Via: someecards

3. Dog day afternoon

Via: someecards

2. [internal screaming]

Via: someecards

1. It’s very moooving

Via: someecards

Memes are basically modern proverbs. We should chisel them onto some stone tablets just in case we’re all obliterated and aliens need to study our culture.

Where do you go to get your weirdly reassuring memes in these times of trouble?

Tell us in the comments.

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Fails That Might Make You Feel Better About Yourself

It’s easy to get really down on yourself. Like you’re doing everything wrong. Then you see a collection of actual fails and think to yourself “Oh. Maybe I’m doing ok.”

Schadenfreude is a German word that literally means “damage-joy,” it means the sense of pleasure that can come from watching someone else fail. Obviously that can be a pretty nasty thing, but it can also be lighthearted. Here’s a few great examples of that feeling at its best.

10. Something doesn’t add up

9. Friendship is…magic?

8. To be fair, he was high at the time

7. Not how clocks work but ok

6. Happy Birthday!

5. See if you can spot the problem

4. She’s technically not wrong

3. At least there’s no raisins

2. Classical speed metal

1. At least you know it’s valid

There, now that I’ve got a peek at some other failures, I feel better at having spilled an entire carton of leftover spaghetti on my last pair of clean pants today.

At least I didn’t write about it on the internet for everybody to see. That would be embarrassing.

What’s your biggest fail been lately?

Tell us in the comments.

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