Month: April 2020

With more time spent at home comes more nonstop bad news, speculation, confusion, and worry. But one constant always remains: memes. Memes respond to whatever’s going on with the world, usually through a filter of weirdly reassuring irony.

So let’s put down the troubles for a minute and look at some memes. 10 out of 10 doctors that I just made up recommend it!

12. I’d have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for that meddling me

11. It’s getting cold

10. I’m basically a supercomputer

9. We’re switching to poop rations

8. The wading is the hardest part

7. Put the fries in the basket

6. Who’s laughing now, mom?

5. The only cooking channel I watch

4. It was my idea all along

3. Dog day afternoon

2. [internal screaming]

1. It’s very moooving

Memes are basically modern proverbs. We should chisel them onto some stone tablets just in case we’re all obliterated and aliens need to study our culture.

Where do you go to get your weirdly reassuring memes in these times of trouble?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Memes You Should Look At Instead of Worrying Right Now appeared first on UberFacts.

It’s easy to get really down on yourself. Like you’re doing everything wrong. Then you see a collection of actual fails and think to yourself “Oh. Maybe I’m doing ok.”

Schadenfreude is a German word that literally means “damage-joy,” it means the sense of pleasure that can come from watching someone else fail. Obviously that can be a pretty nasty thing, but it can also be lighthearted. Here’s a few great examples of that feeling at its best.

10. Something doesn’t add up

9. Friendship is…magic?

8. To be fair, he was high at the time

7. Not how clocks work but ok

6. Happy Birthday!

5. See if you can spot the problem

4. She’s technically not wrong

Woman in front of me at airport security has a bottle of frozen water. They want to take it. She says it's not a liquid.

— Isaac Haxton (@ikepoker) August 29, 2013

3. At least there’s no raisins

Everyone feel free to roast my roommate who thought oatmeal cookies are just baked oatmeal pic.twitter.com/qGmd9aHKQt

— Lord Penis (@LateNightNelly) February 20, 2020

2. Classical speed metal

That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. pic.twitter.com/EdSSJInqEp

— Doug Mataconis (@dmataconis) October 9, 2017

1. At least you know it’s valid

Pretty sure I just received the best fake ID of my bartending career; a girl handed me my missing license from 2 years ago

— kleo mcq (@kleo_patraa) May 8, 2018

There, now that I’ve got a peek at some other failures, I feel better at having spilled an entire carton of leftover spaghetti on my last pair of clean pants today.

At least I didn’t write about it on the internet for everybody to see. That would be embarrassing.

What’s your biggest fail been lately?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Fails That Might Make You Feel Better About Yourself appeared first on UberFacts.

People are strange. The reason we’re the dominant species on the planet isn’t because we’re the biggest, or the strongest, or the fastest, but because we’ve got these big, complicated brains that lead us to innovate and empathize and cooperate and just try things until they work.

Also we have thumbs. Thumbs are super helpful.

But the same brains that give us this edge over the natural world also lead us down pathways that by all accounts seem absolutely irrational.

Take this hypothetical bit of sci-fi from Tumblr user sepulchritude, for instance.

Stick with it. At first, the claim they make won’t seem right, but pretty soon, you’ll probably find yourself agreeing.

Part of my brain says “No, I’d never indulge in that. It’s dangerous. It’s pointless. It’s stupid.”

But another, louder part of my brain really wishes I had a Roomba so I could go strap a knife to it right now and freak out my roommate.

We can empathize with just about anything that seems remotely alive. Especially when those things are small and cute and mischievous.

We’re capable of going from indifferent to highly attached real, real quick.

And don’t forget about our love of games.

Having an ongoing, unpredictable game of “what’s the little guy gonna do next” would be irresistible in any stale workplace.

Remember Wilson from Cast Away? The VOLLEYBALL we all CRIED ABOUT when it washed out to sea at the end?

If reblogs were more knives, “Stabby” would be the most dangerous killer in the universe. Or, more likely, would have been overloaded with the weight long ago and just shut down. This conversation was reblogged over 150,000 times. People love them some Stabby.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found yourself attached to?

Share your human experience in the comments.

The post The ‘Stabby The Roomba’ Story Reveals How Strange Humanity Really Is appeared first on UberFacts.

They say that people who don’t learn their history are doomed to repeat it. In my case that was true. I repeated 9th grade history twice. I paid very little attention.

Lucky for me, now I don’t have to try to learn history from dry old books or snooze-inducing lectures because the internet is full of history memes that bring the past alive! Finally, I can learn AND laugh AND not actually learn. Let’s look at ten lessons history has for us, in meme form.

10. There are two men inside you

9. We’ve always been upwardly mobile

8. Anxiety is not new

7. Science…took a while

6. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet

5. We’re all terrible

4. Holy Wars don’t take much

3. Youth rebellion is a constant

2. Art inspires innovation

1. “Flower power” used to mean something very different

I feel like now we have the wisdom of the ages in our hearts and minds. We’ve basically got a history degree but without the crushing debt and hopeless job market!

What’s your favorite historical factoid?

Enlighten us in the comments.

The post History Memes That We Can All Learn From appeared first on UberFacts.

J.R.R. Tolkien wrote The Hobbit – the first of the Lord of the Rings series – in 1937. He would go on to write three more epic novel installments, another entire book of background lore, and invent a new language to flesh out the world he had created. We can only assume that he worked this hard with a singular purpose in mind: to one day inspire lots of dank memes.

Thanks to the massive success of the Peter Jackson movie adaptations, there’s hardly a person alive now who isn’t at least passively familiar with Middle Earth. But how deep does your knowledge go? Check your nerdery by tallying how many of these 10 Lord of the Rings memes you get.

10. My Precious!

9. UM ACKTUALLY

8. You can’t sit with us

7. Terms of endearment

6. Lord of the Ni

5. Such senseless violince

4. A broken sword is right twice a day

3. Shadow throwin’ shade

2. Discard all

1. Keeper of the legends

Now if you’ll excuse me, since we’re all stuck inside right now I’m going to go binge all of the special edition blu-rays. See you in three years.

What’s your favorite LOTR fact?

Share in the comments.

The post ‘Lord of the Rings’ Jokes to Make You Lord of the Memes appeared first on UberFacts.

I grew up as a Christian, so naturally we talked about God a lot.

I heard many times the story of creation in Genesis, in which God creates the world and all living creatures in just 6 days. It’s a poetic little story.

Many believers take it to be metaphorical, some literal, but my favorite interpretation is the one the internet has stumbled upon with the “God creating _____” meme.

The truth is, life on earth is pretty weird. If all these creatures were designed, they were designed with some odd choices.

Here’s some examples of what might have been going through God’s mind when he was making certain animals:

10. Humans

GOD: my latest creation will have the body of an ape, the voice box of a parrot, the skin of a pig, and the intelligence of a dolphin. I call it Human, and it will destroy everything else I've made

ANGELS: [confused applause]

— wwwdmmmffnn (@woodmuffin) January 27, 2019

9. Parrots

[inventing the parrot]
HOW ABOUT LIKE A TYE DYE CHICKEN WHO SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU

— j a d e (@TheDreamGhoul) February 18, 2015

8. Fish

God: you can breathe underwater!

Fish: nice.

God: also eat and drink underwater.

Fish: so where do I go to the bathroom?

God:

Fish: just on the land or something?

— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) January 13, 2019

7. Kangaroos

*creation of the kangaroo*

God: Okay so the deer was a big hit let’s work off that
Angel 1: What if it could carry it’s offspring with it for protection
God: Okay that’s kind of weak Sharon but we’ll add it
Angel 2: What if it could kick the shit out of you
God: There it is

— Gina (@ginadivittorio) January 25, 2018

6. Centipedes

GOD: 8
ANGEL: 9!
GOD: We shouldn't do this drunk
ANGEL: 10 lol
GOD: 15!!
ANGEL *mouthful of pizza* 25
GOD: 30!!
CENTIPEDE: *tearing up* stop giving me legs, I look stupid
GOD: ONE HUNDRED LOL
ANGEL: LMAO

— Jon (@ArfMeasures) June 4, 2018

5. Ants

God *giggling*: They are gonna be so tiny.

Angel *writing*: ants… tiny… got it.

God *suddenly tearing up*: but omg so strong.

— spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) November 23, 2018

4. Turkeys

[God creating a turkey]
God: Make it like a shitty brown peacock…
Animal technician: Anything else?
God: Hang a nut-sack on it's face lol

— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) June 1, 2015

3. Bees

[god creating bees]
Put a needle on its butt.
“Come on God, wha—“
Make its puke delicious.
“WTF.”

— neo bersani (@athleisure_monk) April 8, 2015

2. Spiders

[God creating spiders]
"Make it have 8 legs"
Seems excessive but ok
"And 8 eyes"
You need to calm down a li-
"Give it a butt rope"

— matt (@dogfather) June 18, 2016

1. Praying Mantis

[God creating praying mantis]
Make an insect that does karate
Angel: k
Now make it bite her husband's head off
Angel: dude we need to talk

— Bownuggets (@Bownuggets) January 11, 2016

I think I’ll take these tweets and use them as the first section of my new holy book. Gotta keep myself busy, after all.

What do you think is the weirdest animal?

Vote in the comments.

The post Twitter Users Imagine What God Was Thinking When He Made All the Animals appeared first on UberFacts.

Today, the internet offers us heaping helpings of philosophy at every turn. Perspectives you never thought you’d encounter are everywhere, and expressions of thoughts you didn’t even realize you had appear at every turn.

Now, that might be a lofty way of thinking about memes, but I have a fine arts degree and over-analysis makes my student loan payments feel justified.

Come feel insightful with me as we tour these fascinating thoughts from the corners of the internet.

10. A Life of Quiet Desperation

9. The Road Less Traveled

8. Patience is a Virtue

7. As a Waking Dream

6. Do What You Love

5. Know Thyself

4. Live to the Fullest

3. Youth is Fleeting

Were hula hoops invented by someone that thought kids weren't dancing sexy enough?

— Erik Bergstrom (@Erik_Bergstrom) March 9, 2020

2. Time Waits for No One

there are 2 types of people in this world:

1. I get in around 4-something
2. I get in at 4:23, will take 27 min to get there, so I’ll see you by 5:15 because there will prob be traffic

— @betchestravel (@betchestravel) February 25, 2020

1. Being and Nothingness

how to process your emotions in a healthy way (i think)

– buy a new candle
– take a 45 min shower
– drink coffee until you throw up
– overshare online
– scream

— Matt. (@MattTheBrand) February 27, 2020

Ah, there we go. We practically read a book just now. I certainly feel enlightened.

What thoughts and ponderings from the internet caught your attention this week?

Let us know in the comments.

The post Thoughts From the Internet to Get You Through the Day appeared first on UberFacts.