Clever Tweets That Should Make You Laugh

You might believe it would be kind of easy to come up with a funny tweet, but it takes a clever person to craft a witty little ditty.

Don’t believe me? Give it a shot…go ahead, I’ll wait…

I told you it was hard!

Luckily, you can just sit back and read funny tweets from other people, so don’t even stress about it! Here are 14 good ones that should make you chuckle.

1. Ready for a kiss?

Pucker up, Buttercup!

2. How does this work?

Do you ever get this confused?

3. A sick burn.

This one cuts deep.

4. The burglar’s in for a surprise.

Wrong on both counts!

5. Pepsi Only.

A good idea for a niche restaurant.

6. I get it!

Sure, you can!

7. He’s in McTrouble.

Just following the training, boss.

8. Sounds like a catch.

…But you also might want to stay away.

9. Does this sound familiar.

They’re all the same…

10. Sir Charles Barkley.

My name is…ummm…Barkley, yeah that’s it.

11. Slick floors.

Do you need a new floor?!?!

12. Don’t take sides.

Ohhhhhh, those kinds of sides.

13. Not this time.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T…never mind.

Clever AF, right?

Have you seen any tweets lately that impressed you?

Be a good sport and share them with us in the comments!

The post Clever Tweets That Should Make You Laugh appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About Their Most Unusual Sexual Experiences

If sexual experiences were like trading cards, what would be your most unique one?

That was the intriguing question posed to AskReddit users, and I have to tell you, I’m pretty excited to see what people had to say!

Are you ready to take an interesting trip? Let’s get to the nitty-gritty from AskReddit users.

Just a warning: these responses are probably NSFW.

1. Gettin’ wild!

“The 5-some. Me and my best friend [A & M; males] and 3 girls [S & K & T]. One girl was his girlfriend [S], one turned into my girlfriend many months later [K], and the 3rd was a mutual friend of ours [T].

We had a sex-centipede going at one point; A > S > K > T > M. It was pretty mind blowing, among other things. I found out afterwards that my best friend was extremely turned on wathcing his GF do things with other people. Crazy times.”

2. Sounds like a movie.

“This just happened a month ago and I’m still in the afterglow.

Threesome. Met a girl via Tinder, she brought her friend along for safety. All three of us got into the tequila, girl decides that she feels safe and her friend agrees to drive us back to mine.

So girl and I are in the back making out and driving friend reaches back with her free hand and grabs my junk.

Player Three has entered the game.”

3. Pretty epic.

“Sex underneath the Hollywood sign…..

AFTER they put the fence up.”

4. Try to explain this one…

“Passing a state trooper while in a very compromising situation.

Then the lights…”

5. What happened last night?

“Came back from a night of heavy drinking with the gf, and apparently got busy. I don’t remember the act.

I just woke up to see 3 used condoms, and all the make up she had been wearing was pressed into the wall.”

6. Like a horror movie.

“Got a blow job in the middle of a field, turns out I was sitting on an ant hill, I started to get bitten so I jumped up which surprised the girl who bit my dick and made it bled. She had braces -__- “

7. Definitely dangerous.

“Driving down the highway in my old Chevy S10 with a 5spd Manuel and bench seat. Gf at the time was wearing a skirt and horny as fuck. She gets on top and goes to town while I’m driving.

Semi truck honked as we drove past cause she waved at him.”

8. On the job.

“Doing it at work, in a strip bar with my own husband posing as a customer, trying to not get caught doing it during a lapdance.

Expected to get fired.”

9. Not proud of it.

“I’m not proud, but it was probably meeting a girl on tinder who ended up having an ankle bracelet who snorted a line in my front seat before we moved to the back seat.

I also, unfortunately, had to drive her to get the line about 15 miles away.

I was a somewhat extreme version of young, dumb, and full of cum.”

10. Getting very busy.

“Had sex with a 21-year-old and a 40-year-old woman less than 24 hours apart.”

11. You’re going to hell.

“Fucking under a church.

For those wondering. It was drainage tunnel for flash floods built under a Spanish mission dating to the late 1600s.”

12. That’s a long drive.

“Got a bj in the college yearbook office, overlooking the campus.

Also booty called a girl who drove over 100 miles to come hook up. She drove home the same night.”

13. Okay, that’s weird.

“A young woman once asked me to draw pictures on her naked back with permanent marker. I’ve never been much of an artist, but I gave it a try nonetheless… and about halfway through my first attempt, the girl started moaning and writhing beneath me in a way that seemed really, really exaggerated.

Although I did my best to focus on my task, the motions of my partner made it rather difficult.

“Do you want me to keep doing this?” I asked her.

“Yes! Yes!” came the young woman’s reply. “Yes, don’t stop! Draw all over me!”

Again, the whole thing seemed more like a performance than it did an actual response to pleasure, and I started to get suspicious that I was being made the butt of some bizarre joke. Every line that I drew sent the girl into paroxysms of affected delight, until she finally moaned for me to put away the marker and get out my “paint-sprayer.”

The rest of the evening eventually went on about as you’d expect from such encounters, despite a tiny voice in the back of my head asking what I’d missed about the whole situation.

I finally got my answer when the girl asked to take a shower with me.

It turned out that what she’d really wanted was for me to scrub her skin until it was practically raw. (Suffice it to say that she hadn’t needed to put on an act that time.) We wound up having an informative discussion after I’d washed the remnants of my drawing off her, and it came to light that she’d always liked the feeling of being roughly bathed.

When I asked why she hadn’t simply requested that in the first place, she sheepishly admitted that having a fetish for emulating a easel seemed less bizarre to her.

To each their own, I guess.”

14. A happy ending.

“Back when Craigslist still had casual encounters, I met a woman who was sleeping around to get revenge on her abusive ex. I got a hotel room and we got busy.

Was wanting to see a movie afterwards, so i asked her if she wanted to tag along. We went and got dinner afterwards. We’ve been together 2 years now ?

15. A family affair.

“Sex with a mother and her daughter. (Not at the same time.)

I was dating this girl in college, and her mom developed this major crush on me. After she (the daughter) and I broke up, her mom came to my apartment to collect some of her daughter’s stuff. We had a one-time fling, and I never talked to either of them again.

It was kind of dull, really. She knocked at the door, came inside, then made this “joke” that she was worried about catching me in my underwear. I joked back about how she could always leave and come back, and she said something like “I might just do that.”

I told her if she was serious, I could just get undressed right there. She waited for a couple seconds (which made me think I’d gone too far), then said it would be more fun if she could help me get undressed.

So, yeah. We undressed each other, there was some mutual touching and foreplay, then we had sex. It was actually kind of hard to concentrate sometimes, because she kept squeezing my ass REALLY hard, but we actually got pretty close to having a simultaneous orgasm.

I think we both felt a little awkward afterward, because we didn’t even really talk. We just got dressed, she got the box of her daughter’s stuff, and she left. I think the last thing she said to me was “Let’s keep this between us.”

Also, the mom was better. The daughter was always a little bit mechanical, if that makes sense. It was like she knew how she was supposed to move, but wasn’t really doing it for any other reason. The mom was a little too wild for me, but everything she did felt like it was supposed to make one of us feel good.”

16. Kinky.

“Snuck in the chancellor’s ballroom at my university. Closed the curtains and went at it. I remember looking up from her for a brief moment and locking eyes with an oil painting of the Chancellor and his wife.”

17. Oh no!

“”Prepare for Trouble, Make it Double” – Sleep with two women in the same 24 hours and get pregnant scares from both.”

18. That is very classy.

“Blowjob from a girl who had just fallen on her face and broken 3 of her front teeth.

At least I wasn’t afraid of getting bitten.”

19. How can I help?

“I was part of a foursome and came so many times I was weak-kneed for hours. I got very oversensitive towards the end and sat back to just watch.

Two out of the four of us hadn’t come yet, so after I tapped out, I became what I called the Sex Referee. Need a condom? I got you. Where’s the lube? I found it. All done? I brought water for everyone.

It was awesome.”

20. This is a nice story.

“A few years ago, I dated a girl who was paralyzed from the waist down. She never had sex after her accident because she thought she wouldn’t be able to feel anything down there.

It turns out she just couldn’t feel as far as her fingers could reach. After experimenting for a bit, we were able to have good ol’ fashioned vaginal sex.

She spent a long time believing she’d never enjoy sex after her accident, so being able to help her experience that part of her life again is what I’m the most proud of. In my eyes, it’s a Limited Edition.”

Very interesting!

Okay, now we want to hear from you!

If you’re up for it, please share your most unusual or unique sexual experience with us in the comments.

The post People Talk About Their Most Unusual Sexual Experiences appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share What REALLY Makes Them Cringe

What makes you REALLY cringe?

I think mine have to be watching really bad stand-up comedy and seeing people trip and fall in public. They both get me every time.

AskReddit users opened up and admitted what makes them cringe.

1. I agree with this one.

“When people post selfies of them crying.

No joke, my friend’s sister posted crying selfies of her and her kids when they had their dog put to sleep. With the dead dog.

Like, umm… that’s a private moment of grief not a selfie opportunity??”

2. That’s really weird.

“Self diagnosed psychopaths.

I don’t know why anyone thinks that’s something to be proud of.

I think those people watch too many movies glorifying serial killers where they think being neurologically and psychologically abnormally inherently means they’re intellectually above average.”

3. Sounds like a real catch.

“My brother in law.

The way he tries to flirt with anything with a pair of boobs and is 2 decades younger than he is.- mostly female servers at restaurants. He treats male servers like shit. He tries to touch their hair or their shoulders without permission and makes the lamest jokes that no one ever laughs at except for him.

The man hasn’t shaved in years and from the smell of it probably doesn’t bathe as often as he should either. He smells like dog and burritos. I married his twin brother.

I feel like I married the name brand version and his brother is the dollar store version.”

4. Not a great time…

“When I remember my high school interactions in general.

High school was true painful cringe. I told a French exchange student that I loved him in French and he just walked away. I die every time I think about it.”

5. Sorry about that…

“The time I was talking too loud at a wedding when I wasn’t supposed to and everyone at the wedding turned around to see what asshole wouldn’t shut up.”

6. Looking for sympathy.

“People who post vague status updates on social media, such as “The most horrible thing just happened to me”, without providing any context.

It’s a cheap way for people to fish for attention, and it creates unnecessary worry for the people who care about them.”

7. No one likes this.

“Recordings of my own voice.

Why does every other voice on the planet sound like Morgan fuckin’ Freeman and mine sounds like Gilbert Gottfried on helium?”

8. Well, actually…

“When people get that mentality of “I am one bad bitch” because they are really just one annoying bitch.”

9. Not very sexy.

“Those videos of guys trying really hard to be sexy biting their lips and looking down and brushing their hair back.

They make me cringe so hard.”

10. The sound of crickets.

“When people make a joke but nobody laughs and it’s just quiet…”

11. Not quite the same.

“My face when i see it on video.

I consider myself a good looking gal, but when i see my face on videos i look absolutely different from what i look in mirrors and pictures whether selfies or that others take.

Looking like a damn squirrel fish.”

12. It’s all about me!

“When people film themselves doing something really “generous” and “heartfelt” for someone in dire need (e.g. a homeless person).

Give them the money or the food or whatever, and get on with your life. I CRINGE at how that person must feel to have a camera or phone shoved in their face while they’re accepting someone’s shallow charity.

I’m glad the person in need benefits but I can’t bear to watch them.”

13. Karaoke fail.

“I was invited to karaoke by a friend of a friend. Not my scene, but the drinks were cheap so I went. He kept insulting most of the singers. They weren’t great, but not terrible. He just kept insisting he was a great singer and just wait until it was his turn because he was going to school everyone.

I’m sure you can guess by now that he was, by far, the worst singer there. I can’t understand HOW he didn’t know. I almost thought he was joking, but nope. He was super smug. And since I didn’t really know him that well, I wasn’t going to be the one to call him out. I haven’t seen karaoke since.

It’s just too uncomfortable.”

14. Bad birthdays.

“Any story about someone having a birthday party and no one shows up.
It happened to my little brother when we were kids and I’ve been scarred from it since.

People dying/abuse/grief/loss/horror etc does not illicit the same emotional upset I get when I hear those kind of birthday stories.”

15. Very cringeworthy.

“People who consider themselves a professional actress/actor when they are tik tok famous.”

16. A lot of this out there.

“That whole he’s my King, she’s my Queen thing.

Seems really fake and weird.”

17. So ridiculous.

“Parents posting fake quotes of their kids saying super woke things that a kid would never realistically say at that age.”

Yikes. I just got some serious EFO (Embarrassment For Others).

What are the things that make you cringe?

Let us know in the comments, please!

The post People Share What REALLY Makes Them Cringe appeared first on UberFacts.