As a mom of two kids under 3 who also has three jobs and a husband and a house to take care of, in addition to all of those other duties like bills and parents and extended family, I feel this post down to the bottom of my soul.

I never sit down during the day. I’m playing with my kids, I’m cleaning up after my kids, I’m trying to get some laundry in or sweep the floor or maybe clear off one of the three counters in our house that are always piled with crap.

I’m pulling the baby off the table, chasing the 3yo down when he steals the silverware holder as I’m attempting to empty the dishwasher, I’m working while they nap, and yes, I’m also unapologetically putting my kids first during all of this. They get the attention, we go on outings, and if they need a snuggle, they get one.

So, no matter how I’m always doing something at home, the house is not usually tidy. Or clean. Or both.

I’ve heard about it from my mother for years, and this is what I tell her: I’m doing my best.

It’s not good enough, I guess, but it’s what I can do and still sleep at night, feeling like I’ve been the best mother I can be today.

Which is all to say that I can totally relate to Casey Huff, the mom who wrote this piece.

I cleaned all day today.
Literally.

We’re hosting a family birthday party tomorrow and I wanted the place to look presentable.

I folded laundry and washed dishes and picked up mismatched socks and stray LEGOs. I swept up scrambled eggs from breakfast and chicken nuggets from lunch.

I helped my oldest son organize the crayons in his art set and my youngest son put away the rubber food that goes to his play kitchen.

I barely sat down, and I’m pretty sure the afternoon cup of coffee I was looking forward to is still sitting on the Keurig tray.

But despite my efforts and the efforts of my kids (yes, I do require them to help), my house still looks like this.

No, this is not a “before” photo. It is a right now photo after the hours I spent cleaning—and I just want to say this about it:

If you walk into a home that looks like this, don’t assume someone hasn’t been working her (or his) tail off to keep the place inhabitable.

Don’t assume a cleaning schedule needs to be put in place, or that better habits need to be maintained.

Don’t assume no one cares.

Instead, you can safely assume someone probably feels defeated and a bit like she’s failing.

You can assume she’s overwhelmed. Frustrated. Hopeless to the point where she’s considered burning the place down and starting over somewhere new.

You can assume she’s tired. Soooo dang tired.

You can assume she has a ton on her plate. That between her marriage, children, friendships, career, and house, something will inevitably be neglected–and she’s not going to let that something be her family.

You can assume she’s trying really, really hard, but the force of life is more powerful than she is right now.When you walk into a house that looks like this, comment on the sweetly scribbled artwork hanging on the refrigerator. Tell her you love how her house feels full of life. Tell her you’re grateful she welcomed you into her home. Then offer to watch her kids for a day so she can clean without tiny tornadoes following closely behind (Kidding… Sort of.).

Mostly, just tell her she’s doing a good job.

Because truthfully? The fact is she’s probably been cleaning all day.

I believe her when she says she’s always cleaning, because so am I. It’s a full-time job just to clean the kitchen and sweep the floors and wipe the counters and table and high chairs three times a day (plus snacks).

So, give your friends with little kids and a bunch of other responsibilities a break. We’re doing our best, on all fronts, and as for me, I make no apologies about putting my husband and kids first.

My friends (if they’re really friends) won’t mind the clutter of a mom who’s trying.

I know I don’t.

The post If Your Friend’s House Is a Mess, it Doesn’t Mean She’s Not Trying appeared first on UberFacts.

There are some days that I think parenting is a lot harder than it used to be. I feel like, in some ways, today’s parents are trying too hard, and putting more pressure on themselves than generations before us, and it’s all making us crazier than we need to be to turn out healthy, happy kids.

Which is why I love this list of things that “happy parents” have just waved goodbye to in the interest of streamlining their life.

13. Boredom is good.

If you feel like parenthood is a treadmill you can’t keep up with, you may be taking too much responsibility for your children’s time. Make plans that support your children’s development, but don’t map out every minute for them. Downtime is supportive for many children.

Moments of boredom allow children to take responsibility for their own time. Make resources available, and then let your children create the experience they want. You’ll all be happier.

12. Don’t worry about what you’re supposed to do.

We were conditioned by our own early family experiences to believe that parenthood or childhood are supposed to look a certain way. But if you hold onto the way things are “supposed” to be, you may miss enjoying how they actually are. Be willing to question what you prioritize as a parent and why.

11. Take care of yourself.

As a parent, you generously give love, time, and attention. But you shouldn’t give up your core self just because you’re a parent. When you ignore your basic needs, you teach your children that when they grow up, they shouldn’t take care of themselves.

10. It’s not a competition between you and other parents.

What does your mental scorecard keep track of: Which parent does more? Who’s most consistent? Which mom or dad contributes most to your child’s class? Who’s most involved in your homeschool group? Keeping score wastes energy. Just do what you feel inspired and able to do. Don’t feel obligated by others’ contributions. Don’t obligate them to live up to yours.

9. Easier said than done but we can work on it.

Parents sometimes fall into the self-sacrifice trap because they feel unnecessary guilt. Guilt can be useful if you use it to recognize where you need to make changes. But overwhelming, paralyzing guilt that makes you feel worthless as a person or parent doesn’t accomplish anything. You are enough, just as you are.

8. Butting heads doesn’t benefit anyone.

As a parent, you have a responsibility to set boundaries. But if a child consistently resists a certain boundary, don’t just force them to comply. Ask yourself and your child, “Why?” Think of yourself as your child’s trusted and effective guide, not their dictator. When they experience you as their guide, they’re more likely to listen, which means less struggle and frustration for both of you.

7. What a novel idea!

As the parent, you often have the final say. But you and your child will both be happier if it’s not the only say. When it’s appropriate to do so, involve your child in decisions that will affect them. By enrolling children in the decision-making process, you’ll empower them to make their own good decisions in the future.

6. Seriously, it doesn’t help you OR them.

If you’re not a yeller, this one isn’t for you. But if you tend to yell when you’re feeling upset, consider this question: Has yelling ever strengthened your relationship with your child. Yelling usually happens in anger, and it often frightens and intimidates children. It destroys trust and a child’s feeling of safety. Pay attention to times and circumstances when you yell and then commit to changing those scenarios in the future.

5. Talk to them how you wish people would have spoken to you.

So many messages are repeated to children: You’re too loud, you’re too quiet, you ask too many questions, you’re exhausting, you’re demanding, you’re too talkative, you should make more friends, quit moving, speak up, settle down, smile more. Try this instead: Comment on the exact same behavior in a positive way. For example, you can see the trait of, “You’re too talkative,” as “You really make friends easily.”

4. Laugh. At. Your. Self.

Hear me now: There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Embrace your imperfections. Laugh at yourself. The best parents are willing to always learn, change, and improve.

3. You can’t fix the past.

What did you experience that you most want your children to avoid? Being teased at school? Lack of money? Feeling “not enough?” Your fears may actually set up that same pattern to be re-created. Don’t trap your children now in your fears of the past. Let them go. Create what you want, not what you don’t want.

2. Seriously this one changed my life.

If you demand a certain number of bites from your children, you set yourself up for a struggle at the table — and you set your children up for struggles with food later in life. Guide, direct, encourage, and prepare healthy food. Let your child voice their preferences. Focus on healthy overall patterns, rather than forcing a certain regimen at a specific meal.

1. Tomorrow really is a new day.

I’ve heard from parents who worry that they’ve damaged their child, or that they’ve made a mistake that will last a lifetime. I’ve said this many times: It’s never too late to be a better, happier parent. Whether your children are 4 or 40, they respond to genuine love from their parents.

The effects of mistakes may take a little longer to overcome if your child is older, but it’s never impossible to show up as the happy, supportive parent that you are meant to be. Don’t give up! You have everything you need to be a good parent.

Maybe getting back to the simple things, and choosing our battles, things like that, really are the answer to being more relaxed in our roles!

What things have you been happier after letting go of as a parent? We need to add more things to this awesome list!

The post Every Happy Parent Has Given up These Things appeared first on UberFacts.

I’ve only been a parent for a few years, but here’s what I’ve learned: I am not like other parents, and that is okay. Other moms appear to at least glance into mirrors before they take their children places. They seem to check their clothes for random splatters, and their kids’ faces are never randomly smeared with something they found to eat in their car seats.

I am not the coolest or most organized or best smelling or skinniest mom on the block, but since I love my kids and they seem to be doing okay, I give myself a break on the rest.

If you’re sort of a hot mess parent, well, these 12 memes are totally for us.

12. And suddenly, you just want to go back into the house and chuck your plans.

11. Or my go-to, it has caffeine in it.

10. Yes I just answered this question.

9. I mean. You only have yourself to blame.

8. And somehow, your first response isn’t GROSS!

7. I feel personally attacked by this post.

6. I would say her job here is done.

5. I am really looking forward to this moment.

4. I swear they just know.

3. You change it, I’ll listen to the recap.

2. This is hilarious and also so so true.

1. It’s like we’re all Schrodinger.

I’m fine with being a mess, though I have recently promised my husband I would TRY to keep the family car clean. Fingers crossed!

What kind of parent are you? The funny thing is, our kids can embarrass us no matter what…tell me your most mortifying mom/dad story in the comments!

The post Memes for All of the Parents out There Who Are Barely Getting by appeared first on UberFacts.

As far as I can tell, marriage is mostly about no one wanting to pick what’s for dinner, always needing something from the grocery store, and yes, those little adorable habits that have turned into reasons for justifiable homicide in the span of a few short years.

Then, there are the small things we don’t even realize we do every single day because our partner does them – they’re no big deal, not a reason to get divorced, but depending on the day they can definitely grate on you.

Below, 15 men are sharing theirs.

15. My husband could sympathize about the hair.

Hair in the bath.

Irony is she feels bad about it , but I don`t care that much.

And lights on.

14. Jokes on you, then.

My wife left a “facial cleanser” in the shower for so long it started to start getting mildew under it. So one day I found it missing and I texted my wife all excited like “Hey you’re finally cleaning up that science experiment in the shower!”.

Turns out she was just replacing the bottle but had no plans of cleaning up the mess. After I started sending her pictures of how gross it was, she finally cleaned it up.

13. I don’t lock my doors but also I don’t leave anything worth stealing in the car?

Oh, and I will give one about my neighbor’s wife. Lock your damn car. She is a moron and constantly leaves doors open and never locks anything and they’ve had things stolen from their car 5 times in the last 6 months so thieves know to come through the neighborhood and it affects all of us. We’ve talked to her about it and she claims we are “judging her” and just a neighborhood full of assholes. Husband gave up years ago and doesn’t engage at all.

12. In time you will learn…not to get pissed.

Not spouse but girlfriend.

She never puts the light out before going to bed even though she’s always lighting a lot of lights that i never touch. She also spreads coffee cups all over the house and puts the coffee filter in the sink and leaves it there until the next time she wants to make coffee.

I definitely go screw it i’ll just do it myself, but i also get pissed.

11. Because she expects you’ll do it now. That’s your doing!

I’m in the same boat as far as staying up later than my GF. I always turn off the lights and blow out the candles we have going despite who lit them.

The other night I was pretty tired and went to bed before her. I wondered while dosing off if my gf would blow out the candles that she lit. I woke up to use the bathroom that night and they were still burning.

10. And they’re always back in the fridge.

She doesn’t screw lids on properly so I’ve developed an aversion to lifting bottles and jars from the top in case I make a mess.

9. She obviously doesn’t watch the murder shows I do.

Lock the doors before bed. Which is very concerning because i work 24 hr shifts and i am not there to lock up every time.

It could be that she forgets when im gone, which i dont think is the case. Which means when im home she thinks “fuck it he can lock the doors, im going to bed”

8. My husband does this too!

Whenever she visits her parents house, she’ll help prep and cook. She’ll later complain to me that their knives are garbage, and wants to buy them a new set.

Little does she know that her parents never sharpen their knives, and I sharpen ours every week.

7. I should start doing this for my husband.

Plugging in her devices before we go to bed. She is terrible at charging her phone, tablet, and laptop overnight. I always walk through and make sure they are plugged in and ready for her in the morning when we wake up.

6. You definitely learn to pick your battles.

Fortunately, there are only a few small things, but they include: not closing certain drawers that are at ball height, not lowering her makeup mirror so it doesn’t blind me in the morning, not putting away a few clean dishes we left to dry on the counter. Can’t really complain and it’s not worth fighting over.

5. Finding complimentary skills is not overrated.

Paperwork. My partner absolutely hates paperwork so I do all of it – taxes, forms, even his resume…

I used to get so angry about this, and once I was fed up and made him do the taxes. He got so over-the-top stressed trying to do them that I suddenly understood that he is not being lazy, he just legitimately hates paperwork. So now I do it all and he does all the car maintenance (because I despise car maintenance.) Teamwork makes the dream work.

4. That’s quite a list.

Close cabinet doors, throw away tea bags,
gas up the car, lock the door, clean any
part of any bathroom and pay the bills.

3. It’s so close just put them in!

Put dishes in the empty dishwasher. She has this habit of stacking crap next to the sink instead of taking that simple little next step.

The weird thing is that she is so damn organized and hates clutter, but this never bothers her.

2. I can’t wait for the day my husband just tidies without expecting a damn medal.

Picking up after herself. It usually involves leaving her makeup all over the place, or not cleaning the stove after making a particular messy meal, or leaving her clothing piled on top of her dresser for weeks on end. And they say guys are the messy ones

1. Samesies.

My wife knows my Reddit user name.

She does everything perfectly. She is beautiful and no one works harder than her. Truly the perfect woman in every way.

I am the luckiest man in the world. I am nothing without her.

Ok I think that’s enough to get her to skip this.

She will not take the garbage out. Ever. Not to the pail. Not to the curb. Will not take the can back in. Outright refuses to deal with garbage or recycling ever.

I love these because they’re so real. I could make a short list of my own, for sure, but never turning off lights would definitely be on mine.

What would be on your list? What do you always do for your spouse and never complain because it’s really no biggie?

We’d love to hear about it in the comments!

The post Men Share the Little Things Their Spouses Never Do That Drives Them Nuts appeared first on UberFacts.

If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that you need to take every single offered opportunity to pelt your children with harmless objects.

Harmless delicious objects? There is no answer other than yes.

Sure, our kids are adorable and sweet, but they are also, at the same time, demons who are ashamed of us and want to make our decision to procreate hurt.

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I came home to this. I had to do slow-mo so you can actually see all the cheese balls. #CheeseBallMachineGun #NotWeirdAtAll #DoesntEveryoneHaveOne #ThatsOurLeafBlower #YesTheyAreTryingToCatchThem #NotMomApproved #fostercare #fostertoadopt #adoptionjourney #adoption #hecallsmemom #notyouraveragefosterfamily

A post shared by Wendy (@wendys___world) on Dec 18, 2019 at 5:12pm PST

Which is to say, the only way to stay sane through those middle years is to give it back to them, 100%.

This pretty amazing cheeseball projectile machine is the brainchild of DIY science geniuses Night Hawk Projects. It utilizes, mostly, a standard-issue leaf blower and a Costco-sized barrel of cheese balls.

Because the family size at the grocery store just isn’t going to cut it.

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CHEESEBALL MACHINE GUN? #WhatTheBleep Want to see more awesome things? Check out my youtube channel in my bio! Amazing work by NightHawkInLight! #WhatTheBleep #cheeseballmachinegun #HowTo #AmazingPeople #news

A post shared by What The Bleep! (@bleepthewhat) on May 23, 2016 at 2:35pm PDT

You can build this yourself with just a few pieces of PVC tubing, some epoxy, and a dremel or sander to carve one essential component – a wedge that incorporates some fluid dynamics to create a vacuum in the gun barrel. The plans come with a clear, concise video so you don’t have to be an engineer or understand concepts like “fluid dynamics” to make it work (whew!).

You just have to love cheeseballs, and assaulting your kids with orange-dusted corn chips.

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Wilmapalooza Christmas 2016 #cheeseballmachinegun #wilmhoffbedandbreakfast @nwilmhoff @bare.table #merica #christmasinkentucky #buddytheelf

A post shared by Stephanie Wilmhoff (@swilmhoff) on Dec 25, 2016 at 2:15pm PST

And I mean really…who doesn’t?

Please, please give this a shot and report back with your successes (and images of the carnage).

I’m literally on the edge of my seat.

The post Step Up the Parenting Game With This Cheeseball Machine Gun appeared first on UberFacts.

Paul Newman is a legend in my book.

First of all, Slap Shot is one of the greatest sports movies of all time. And it easily the greatest hockey movie ever made. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Here’s a brief rundown of just some of his iconic films: Cool Hand Luke, The Hustler, The Sting, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Road to Perdition, and many, many more.

Here are 7 facts about the man, the myth, the legend!

1. The gridiron.

Newman originally wanted to be a professional football player. He played in high school and got a football scholarship to play at Kenyon College in Ohio.

He was kicked off of his college team for fighting and then became interested in the theater. He ended up going to the Yale School of Drama and then moved to New York to be a full-time actor.

2. Not a fan…

Newman thought his first film role was the worst movie he ever appeared in. His first starring role came in 1954’s The Silver Chalice and Newman thought the film was just terrible.

Good thing he moved on past that turkey…

3. That’s not me…

Early in his career, Newman was commonly mistaken for actor Marlon Brando from people on the street.

Instead of correcting them, Newman would sign autographs that read “Best Wishes, Marlon Brando.”

4. A real prankster.

The actor liked to play practical jokes and he enjoyed faking his own death. During the making of Exodus, Newman tossed a dummy off of a building and director Otto Preminger believed it was Newman. He repeated this prank during the making of The Mackintosh Man for director John Huston as well.

While making Slap Shot, Newman scared the hell out of director George Roy Hill by climbing behind the wheel of a wrecked car and acting like he had been involved in an accident.

5. Introduction to racing.

Newman was a well-known fan of car racing and his introduction to the sport came when he starred in the 1969 movie Winning. He started racing as an amateur in 1972 and he won his first race at the professional level in 1982.

He continued to drive all the way up until 2005. He said, “I’ll always talk about racing because the people are interesting and fun, the sport is a lot more exciting than anything else I do, and nobody cares that I’m an actor. I wish I could spend all my time at the racetrack.”

6. Nixon was not a fan.

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#cutecouples #richardnixon #elvispresley #counterculturecashin #1970 #vintagecheese

A post shared by Vintage Cheese (@vintage.cheese) on Mar 9, 2020 at 3:38am PDT

As we all know now, President Richard Nixon was incredibly paranoid and liked to keep tabs on people he considered enemies. Paul Newman made Nixon’s list because he supported candidate Hubert Humphrey in the 1968 election and he was a highly vocal critic of the Vietnam War.

Newman found out that Nixon compiled a list of his personal enemies in 1971.

The actor later got a copy of the list and had it framed.

7. A stand-up guy. 

During the making of the 1998 film Twilight, Newman discovered that he and Gene Hackman were making a lot more money than their c0-star Susan Sarandon, who was receiving equal billing with the two actors.

Newman offered to give up part of his salary to make things equal for Sarandon.

What’s your favorite Paul Newman movie?

Please share with us in the comments!

The post Interesting Facts About the Late, Great Paul Newman appeared first on UberFacts.

Dogs are the best! At least IMO. They bring happiness, love, and wet snout kisses that makes the ‘ruff’ days go away. Whether we’re embarking on a new journey or gaining a new leash on life, our pals are always there.

So what if you were asked, “Would you cut 5 years off your life and give them to your dog? If so, why?” Would you trade time with your doggo?

See what the community at AskReddit had to say!

11. The bravest doggo ever

My family and I were on vacation at a cabin in Maine. Got caught walking up from the lake by a bear after dark. Couldn’t tell it was a bear until it stood up and the motion light turned on. It was standing over 6 foot tall between us and the cabin. It fell forward onto it’s front feet, huffing. It made a noise like a dinosaur. Who shit my pants??

Without a sound, my lazy shit dog launched an attack from behind the bear.

I’m tearing up thinking about it. I ran the kids into the cabin, grabbed the rifle and spent the next five minutes running through dark woods, trying to follow the sounds of my growling dog and a furious bear. The growling stopped and I could hear the bear running off through the woods.

My dogs name is Daisy. She’s an English bull terrier. She was 15 years old at the time. It took two hours to find Daisy after the bear ran off. She had what looked like road rash along her sides, her hip was broken and her leg was crushed. She was curled next to a tree with her tail thumping the ground. Her white fur all shades of red and pink.

This dog is afraid of the Swiffer. I love her so much. I owe Daisy 3 lives, fuck 5 years.

10. This response is paw-some

Possibly but only if I could find out what age I was meant to die firts. It would be a cruel twist if I agreed to this, only to find out that I was meant to die less than five years from now and not get to spend any more time with my dog.

9. What is five years in dog-life?

No, it would be like adding 35 years to my dog. He is 14, blind and clearly suffering to old age. I couldn’t do that to him

8. Because maths…

I love my three dogs dearly, and I will do so for the rest of their lives. To give each of them 5 years would mean 15 years less of mine…. 15 years is another dog’s lifetime… in 15 years I can have more sweet pups and thus save more dogs’ lives as I only take from shelters or from the roadside. So being selfish and keeping the ones I love now for longer and letting future pups who need love as well die too soon or all alone… No. Let my darlings live their lives out happily, I will miss them all, but there is always another that need love again.

7. Yep, I feel this

I don’t even own a dog and this question hurts me…

6. The rainbow bridge it is

As much as most people would want 5 more years with their friend, I wouldn’t want them to suffer or feel the pains of old age. Dogs live the length of life they do because that is their nature. Prolonging their lifespan just for personal reasons is selfish.

Besides, while you might lose a part of yourself when you lose your friend, there is another doggo out there to help fill that hole in your heart, and especially so if you rescue them.

5. Dogs are human therapy

Yes, because my dog ( and my previous pets ) are the biggest reason I haven’t committed suicide, or got into drugs etc. They are my antidepressant. And yes, I have family, friends etc. but only dogs were always completely honest… I did own the cat once..that **nt would murder me in my sleep tough.

4. Putting the paw down

Your death affects more than just you. Five years with friends and family has a lot of room for happiness. Five years without a loved one can seem an eternity. I’m sorry, but no, I would never end my life early for any pet.

3. Ruh-Roh

Nope. Because dogs are cool but at the end of the day, they’re still dogs

2. *Tail stops wagging*

I absolutely love dogs, but if you answer yes to this question, you probably need some mental health check. Because you either dangerously obsessed with your pets, or you value your life way lass than you should. Either way it’s not the norm and shouldn’t be accepted.

1. This is the ulti-mutt!

Dude, I’d split our life forces evenly so we just die at the same time. My pets are my boyz.

Dogs are our fur-ever friends and personally I’d give mine five more years before the rainbow bridge.

What do you think? Would you trade time with your buddy?

Let us know in the comments!

The post Would You Give Five Years of Your Own Life to Your Dog? People Answered that Question. appeared first on UberFacts.

As Dagmar Turner’s surgeons operated on her brain in London, she did the thing that was most important to her: playing her violin.

A video made of the surgery shows Turner drawing her bow back and forth across the violin’s strings as the surgeons continued operating behind a plastic sheet to remove a brain tumor.

Her doctors purposely woke her in the middle of the operation and had her play so they knew they weren’t interfering with the parts of her brain that controlled the fine movements necessary to play.

In a press release, King’s College neurosurgeon Keyoumars Ashkan said,

“We knew how important the violin is to Dagmar, so it was vital that we preserved function in the delicate areas of her brain that allowed her to play.”

Turner, 53, had lived with the slow growing tumor ever since doctors discovered it in 2o13. Recently, the growth became more aggressive and Turner decided to move forward with surgery to remove it.

She told ITV News that doctors explained since the tumor was on the right side of her brain, it would only affect function on the left side of her body. But when she explained she made her livelihood playing the violin, doctors came up with a plan to minimize risk to her hand’s functioning.

In their statement, the hospital said,

“Prior to Dagmar’s operation they spent two hours carefully mapping her brain to identify areas that were active when she played the violin and those responsible for controlling language and movement.”

Check out the video. It really is amazing!

Turner said in the hospital press release,

“The violin is my passion; I’ve been playing since I was 10 years old.

The thought of losing my ability to play was heart-breaking but, being a musician himself, Prof. Ashkan understood my concerns.”

Ashkan called the surgery a success saying that almost all of the tumor was removed without interruption to her playing.

Mapping a patient’s brain before surgery uses technology called functional MRI. This map gives doctors critical information about how a person’s brain works when comprehending certain concepts and performing certain tasks.

When doctors are making decisions by the millimeter, access to this knowledge ensures their patient will recover with the ability to follow their passions exactly as before.

Amazing medicine at work!

The post A Violinist Played During Her Own Brain Surgery appeared first on UberFacts.