Making Children Say ‘I’m Sorry’ Can Seem Meaningless. Try This Instead.

We’ve all seen this, and a lot of us have done it. A small child does something hurtful on accident and, upon a stern look or ‘what do you say?’ from a parent, mutters a quick ‘sorry’ before moving on with whatever they were doing. But while it’s good to teach children manners, are they really learning anything? Are they actually sorry, or are they just doing what’s expected in order to meet as little resistance as possible?

According to Heather Shumaker, the author of It’s OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids, the latter is most likely:

“Young kids sometimes fool us. They can mimic “Sorry” and even cry when another child cries, but most children are not capable of being sorry yet. Children differ – you may have an early bloomer – but most children simply lack the emotional and cognitive development to feel remorse. Remorse requires the ability to take another person’s perspective and fully understand cause and effect. These skills are still emerging in young children. Expecting young kids to say “Sorry” teaches them nothing more than a misguided lesson in sequence: kick, say “Sorry,” move on.”

Okay, so if we’ve been teaching the wrong lesson all this time, what exactly should we be doing to better help children understand until their emotional intelligence matures?

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Shumaker has some ideas on how we can teach them that “sorry” has meaning, and help them understand that all actions have consequences. Namely, these easy steps:

1. Bring the kid back to the scene of the crime.

Children who think they’re going to be in trouble tend to run. Put an arm around them, bring them back, and explain that even if they didn’t mean to do it, someone got hurt so they need to come back.

2. Be specific about what happened.

The child might not have noticed what they did, or might not understand the impact of shoving a shopping cart, etc. Explain it briefly and calmly, ie: “Your shopping cart ran over her toe.” If we expect them to be sorry, they need to first know what they should be sorry for.

3. Describe the consequences.

Since children often don’t have a fully developed sense of empathy, it’s up to us to tell them what the offended party might be feeling, ie: “Look, there’s a scratch on her arm. It must sting.”

Photo Credit: Pixabay

4. Model empathy.

Ask the other child or adult whether they’re okay.

5. Take action to fix the problem.

Your young one might not truly feel bad, but they can help fix things. Ask them to run and get a band-aid, wipes, a cold towel, etc., in order to help.

6. Make a guarantee.

Promising not to do it again means a lot more to a child than a meaningless word like ‘sorry.’ If they promise not to do the offending action again, trust can be more readily re-established.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

7. Let them see you being truly sorry in your own life.

We do want kids to say sorry and mean it, eventually. One good way to prompt the behavior without forcing it is to let your kids see you making sincere apologies in your own life. Make sure to acknowledge the consequences of your mistakes and do your best to make things better.

As a parent, I love this advice and the notion that kids can learn how to genuinely realize they’ve done something wrong and take steps to make it right, as opposed to being forced to say something they don’t feel or understand. I’m planning to try it soon!

h/t: Offspring.lifehacker.com

The post Making Children Say ‘I’m Sorry’ Can Seem Meaningless. Try This Instead. appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Their Most Unexpected and Awkward Celebrity Encounters

I ran into Richard Lewis at an airport once because I wasn’t looking where I was going. He was actually quite nice about it, and I probably should have felt embarrassed, but I was 12, so I didn’t really care. Also, I didn’t even know who Richard Lewis was. I only figured it out later after I heard my mom tell the story and thought, “Damn, I want to know who this Richard Lewis guy is.”

By the way, I was taller than Lewis when I was 12. So there’s that.

Photo Credit: HBO

Think that was awkward? Just wait until you read these 17 stories from people who did more than just bump into their fellow famous human beings.

Away we go!

16. His Scrub With Fame

I was staying with a friend, who herself happened to be staying at the apartment of some family friends by union square. It was one of those fancy buildings where each apartment is a floor and the elevator literally opens up into your living room, so you need a specific key to access each floor.

Anyway, my girlfriend (at the time) and I were arguing kind of intensely when we got into the elevator, intending to head down, and were so involved that we apparently forgot to press the button for the ground floor. The elevator starts to go up instead, and a few seconds later the door opens and we walk into a partially remodeled apartment on one of the upper floors.

Standing there is Zach Braff, giving a disapproving/confused look. We backed away into the elevator, explaining that we must have forgotten to press down, and he told us he had called the elevator up to let in some friends. It was known that he lived in the building, and the look on his face implied he didn’t believe our excuse, so we didn’t push it by asking for autographs or anything.

I kinda actually felt like he was being a little bit rude when he said ” yea…. So I’m just gonna close this and press down…”

And that was the only time I ever said anything to anyone famous.

15. Bow Wow Wow

About 2 years ago I was interning at a high-profile recording studio in Los Angeles. Another intern and I were once repairing a towel dispenser in a private bathroom for the main studio…when we emerged, we–quite literally–ran in to Snoop Dogg.

He gave us a “why are you two using my bathroom together?” kind of look.

Me: “Oh. Uhh…we were…fixing the paper towel…thing.”

Snoop: “I ain’t judgin’…just gotta be more discreet, my man.”

…he thought we were bangin’

14. Face To Face With Fillion

I was once at a convention when I came around a corner, and came up short as I almost ran over Nathan Fillion. The words out of my mouth were, I think ‘Whoa, Nathan Fillion!’

To which he replied ‘Whoa, you’re right!’ in a surprised tone. I told him I was a fan of all his work, he smiled and said ‘Thanks, want an autograph?’ I thanked him but said I’d already gotten him to sign my Firefly box set a few years earlier, to which he replied ‘So THATS how you knew who I was…’

Very funny delivery. Shook my hand, went on his way.

As he left I said ‘I loved you in 2 Guys & a Girl!’ and whoever he was with burst out laughing.

13. Falling For Tobey

My friend was running late for a class through Columbia University’s campus while they were filming Spider Man. Being a short girl, she was wearing high-heels, tripped on the cobble-stones and face-planted with her books and sent papers flying everywhere.

As she went to get up, she noticed two male feet in front of her. Tobey Maguire was standing there asking if she was okay. Mortified, she grabbed everything up and bolted.

Fast forward a month and he’s on a late night talk show where the host asks how the Columbia students treated him. He said that ‘in general the students were really nice except there was this one girl who fell at his feet and wouldn’t let him help her up.’

12. Just Busey Being Busey

I used to live in LA, so I had a number of celebrity encounters, but by far the weirdest was when I had a conversation with Gary Busey while we were both stuck in traffic on Wilshire Boulevard.

My window was down. I pulled up behind a stopped car and noticed the car to my left had cigar smoke wafting out of it. I hear someone say “Don’t you just want to grab a shotgun and clear all these people out?” I turn and there, teeth gleaming, sitting in the passenger seat of a giant black sedan, is Gary Busey.

I’d been up since 4am that day so I was already really tired — on the verge of asleep — so to have Gary Busey start a conversation with me about LA traffic was surreal. I was not sure it was actually happening.

We chatted for a couple of minutes. I told him I’d just gotten my pilots license 3 hours earlier and he got really excited for me. “Congrats, man! That’s’ great!” It turned out his son had trained at the same flight school I had. When the light turned green his car pulled away and he stuck his arm out the window, pumping his fist with a giant thumbs up — “Don’t fly your car, man! WHOOOOOooooo!”

That was one weird day.

Super Tacky ’70s Outfits That Need to Come Back Right Now

Do you remember the 1960s and ’70s? Sure you do! Even if you weren’t alive at the time, you know there was plenty of polyester, swagger and pant suits galore!

The really with-it couples didn’t just wear hip fashion. They teamed up their wardrobe to form matching power couple fashion statements that, upon reflection, are insane. Because there’s nothing that says, “I’m codependent and proud” then not being able to dress in something that doesn’t match your partner.

Still, I kind of wish that matching outfits would come back in a big way. I think it would actually be hilarious. Ironic, creepy, and did I already say hilarious? Let’s do this people!

But first, let’s see some fantastic examples of matching gone… right?

1. Three’s Company

Photo Credit: Flashbak

2. You Complete My Color Palette

Photo Credit: Flashbak

3. Denim Power!

Photo Credit: Flashbak

4. The Quickest Of The Knits

Photo Credit: Flashbak

5. Vests and Sweaters and Jackets, Oh My!

Photo Credit: Flashbak

6. Sweaters And Suits And Sweaters And Suits

Photo Credit: Flashbak

7. The Road Is Official Hit, Jac!

Photo Credit: Flashbak

8. Paisley Paradise

Photo Credit: Flashbak

9. So, On The Left… What’s Going On There? On The Right? Pretty Adorbs.

Photo Credit: Flashbak

These Epic Portraits Prove Cats Are Man’s True Best Friend

Do you have cats?

Are you a little…different?

Yes? Then these people are your people. In fact, they’re so strange they’ve actually created some of the most epically adorable cat/human portraits in existence.

I’m not kitten you, these pictures are something you need to check out right meow.

1. Whatever he’s selling, I’m buying.

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

2. Nobody understands their love.

Photo Credit: Awkward Family Photos

3. Day 2,379. The human still won’t let us out of his tanned, Texas grip.

Photo Credit: Awkward Family Photos

4. That hair! Those eyes! That twisted, awful smile! Totes feeling their vibe.

Photo Credit: Awkward Family Photos

5. You WISH you loved something this much.

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

6. That IS technically a cat.

Photo Credit: Awkward Family Photos

7. He makes me tiny hats because I demand it.

Photo Credit: Awkward Family Photos

Here are Some Church Signs With A Sense Of Humor

For many churches, the best way to add new members is with an old-school marquee sign. You just put up a welcoming message, add a brief Bible quote, maybe tell everyone when the pancake prayer breakfast is, and bingo. Just sit back and watch the new members roll in.

But there will always be churches that take the road less traveled. Today we’ve got a selection of church signs that weren’t afraid to try out some comedy on the general public. Some of them are genuine laughers, others will have you wondering if Father Mike has been hitting the communion wine, but all of them get kudos for trying.

1. At least they’re honest.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

2. If you screw up God’s preferred trail mix ratio, you will burn in hell for eternity.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

3. Ever been slut shamed by a sign? Now you have!

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

4. Nothing’s funnier than forced religious conversion.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

5. Please don’t try to help, St. John’s Anglican.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

6. This is what happens when nobody refills Pastor Joel’s Prozac.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

7. And this is what happens when you put the youth minister in charge of the sign.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

8. Who says denying scientific fact has to be so serious?

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

9. I…can’t figure out what they’re trying to say.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

10. “Actually, I was praying for cocaine. Sorry, shoulda specified.”

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

Enjoy These Terrible Photoshops from Russian Social Media

Nobody pulls off a poorly photoshopped picture quite like the Russians. These curiosities were taken from the Russian social network Odnoklassniki, which means “Schoolmates.” Odnoklassniki is a popular network for old friend and classmates to stay in touch – it’s basically local Facebook for Russia and other former Soviet states.

Let’s just hope some love connections were made.

#1.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#2.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#3.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#4.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#5.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#6.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#7.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#8.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#9.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#10.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#11.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#12.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#13.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#14.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#15.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#16.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#17.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#18.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

#19.

Photo Credit: Pleated-Jeans.com

The post Enjoy These Terrible Photoshops from Russian Social Media appeared first on UberFacts.

The Moment 15 People Realized They Were Dating Total Idiots

Have you ever been in love? Have you ever been in love until you realize one day you’re dating a complete moron? Then you’re not so in love anymore? I mean, it can be satisfying to date someone who is dumber than you (so you can feel superior), but it’s also kind of embarrassing.

Take a look at these 15 stories from people who share exactly when they realized they were dating an idiot.

1. A present from the cat

Photo Credit: Reddit

2. Pistachio Shells

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. Genius!

Photo Credit: Reddit

4. “Not everyone went to college.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

5. I told my boyfriend I didn’t feel good and asked him to pick up a thermometer.

Photo Credit: Reddit

6. My girlfriend asked what “No” on this switch meant.

Photo Credit: Reddit

7. I asked my wife to bring me my shoes. She said, “the Opaads?”

Photo Credit: Reddit

8. How my wife unpacked the new cable.

Photo Credit: Reddit

9. So Real

Photo Credit: Reddit

10. A modern-day Magellan

Photo Credit: Reddit

11. My husband asked my gynecologist if he was a Texas Longhorns fan.

Photo Credit: Reddit

12. Breast Feeding

Photo Credit: Reddit

13. Well, is it?

Photo Credit: Reddit

14. Noun

Photo Credit: Reddit

15. I am 5’1″. I asked my 6’2″ husband to hang a mirror for me.

Photo Credit: Imgur

h/t: Bored Panda

The post The Moment 15 People Realized They Were Dating Total Idiots appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Stories of Rich, Spoiled Brats They Knew

We’ve all dealth with them at some point. Maybe at school, at work, or in public. Kids who are so insanely wealthy that they have no concept of how money works. Want to fly to Europe for the weekend? Hmmmmmm, no can’t do it.

These 15 folks from AskReddit share the weird experiences they had with rich, spoiled kids who were obviously from the other side of town.

1. Clueless

They think it’s weird when people struggle with money.

I used to live in NYC, and knew a guy who came from HUGE money who was a trust fund kid and worked in the fashion industry because he loved it. He had an apartment on Park Avenue, had a driver, etc. He was very nice, but clueless about struggle. Every time he’d hear me say something like “oh yay, another peanut butter sandwich” he’d just tilt his head and say “If you’re hungry why don’t you just order delivery?” or something. He had NO CLUE about things like having twenty dollars to your name for the next five days.

2. Gucci

I went to a really prestigious boarding school for the first two years of high school. Most shocking thing I witnessed was a boy in my freshman year spilling water on a pair of gucci loafers he was wearing, so he goes to his dorm, THROWS THEM OUT, and puts on another pair. They were easily $500+ and this kid was just dripping in money. As a poor kid I was astonished by half the things I saw there on a daily basis.

3. Sky Diving

“You want to fly to Greece in a few weeks with some of our friends to go sky diving?”

“Can’t afford it, thanks though.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll pay for the sky diving.”

Yeah, that’s not what I meant. Not only is the ticket not affordable, I couldn’t eat or do anything the whole time and would lose my shit job for being gone on such short notice, thus making me broke and unable to make rent.

His family is insanely wealthy and he married into more money.

4. Just Ask

Inviting you on an international trip (I’m from the US) and when you say you don’t have money for it, they say “just ask your parents”.

5. “What country is your water from?”

Wife is a flight attendant.

Wife: “What would you like to drink?”

Passenger: “I’ll have a water….wait. Where is your water from?”

Wife: “Uh…What?”

Passenger: “What country is your water from? I only drink water from France.”

6. Working-Class

This might be a dead UK giveaway, but accent.

A classmate who came from a wealthy background once demanded to know why my father would “talk like that” to her parents, like she was offended.. “That” being a working-class Scottish accent.

7. Ha!

Using the word “summer” as a verb.

Crazy Photos of Bizarre Sea Creatures Caught by a Russian Fisherman

Roman Fedortsov, a Russian deep-sea fisherman, terrified and enthralled the world with his instagrams of the bizarre sea creatures he pulls from the depths of the ocean floor.

I think we’re all at least a little bit afraid of what lurks in the ocean, but these animals/aliens are SCARY. Take a look below and see for yourself.

1.

Photo Credit: Twitter

2.

Photo Credit: Twitter

3.

Photo Credit: Twitter

4.

Photo Credit: Fact River

5.

Photo Credit: Twitter

6.

Photo Credit: Twitter

7.

Photo Credit: Twitter

8.

Photo Credit: Twitter

9.

Photo Credit: Twitter

10.

 

 

Photo Credit: Twitter

 

Ready for a swim?!?!?!

h/t: sobadsogood

The post Crazy Photos of Bizarre Sea Creatures Caught by a Russian Fisherman appeared first on UberFacts.

People Recount Their First Kiss Horror Stories

It’s a rite of passage for young people. And old people too I guess, depending on when you started getting busy. Regardless of the age, everyone remembers their first kiss. Maybe it was great. Maybe it was terrible.

Take a look at the 13 AskReddit entries below to see if your experience measures up.

1. Teeth!

I was 14 and she grabbed me and she whacked her teeth against mine. She was pretty embarrassed because it was her first kiss also so we just laughed it off and tried again. I ended up dating that girl for almost 2 years and then she cheated on me.

2. Alaskan Air

Homecoming freshman year. Wore too much makeup and a horrible velvet dress. The hottest guy on the swim team had been flirting with me for weeks. Went outside to his car to say goodbye. He kissed me and I all but melted. Like a bad paperback romance the world went silent all I could feel were his warm lips and the cool alaskan air. When he pulled back he said ” you really need to learn how to do that.” It was horrible…

3. Sleep-Away Camp

Summer sleep-away camp. I was maybe 10 or 11. The boys came over for a dance. One of them danced with me and held my hand all night. I tried to get him to sit with me and “look at the stars.” As soon as he looked up I grabbed him and gave him a peck on the lips. He literally RAN away.

What a f**king tease.

4. Drool

Truth or dare in 7th grade. It was her first kiss too, and we just sort of sloppily drooled all over each other while 6 other kids awkwardly cheered for us. Then the weird kid Nick, ate a caterpillar.

5. Just breathe

…My family and her family have been close for a long time and we’d known each other forever. Our families were on vacation together in Key West, Florida and we were alone one night on a pier. We had both hinted at liking each other for a while and it just happened. I passed out about five seconds after the kiss (the kiss lasted about thirty seconds). I woke up on a park bench with her sitting over me asking if I was okay. She and I are still close (in a more than friendship way) to this day, but sadly due to distance it’s never gone anywhere.

6. Church Dance

It was horrible. I thought you HAD to French kiss and I thought that meant doing all sorts of flipping and twirling motions with my tongue. I was 13 at a church dance and I convinced a girl to be my girlfriend. From there it was 45 seconds of the most distrusting and overbearing tongue assault known to mankind. Within 15 hours she broke up with me. I learned that kissing should be a bit more civil.

7. Watch the nose

It went absolutely horrible. It was a first kiss for both of us. Both of us closed our eyes, he opened his mouth and I didn’t. The result was a tongue up my nose. I do not recommend the experience.