Check out These Hilarious Tweets About Christmas Wish Lists

It’s time to double-check those Christmas wish lists your kiddos gave you so you can make sure they have the best holiday ever…or at least until they present you with next year’s list…

Let’s take a deep dive into some hilarious Christmas lists from kids who will hopefully get everything they asked for this year…

1. “Fake head that is not alive.”

The three year old i watch had her older brother write her Christmas list & i…. pic.twitter.com/cTnyfOqHsF

— han (@hahahannahcf) December 10, 2019

2. That’s a lot!

My 10 year old daughter must be out of her mind with this Christmas list pic.twitter.com/Qqsje79rda

— @A_Johnson412 (@a_johnson412) November 13, 2019

3. I want a scary ghost, too.

Please enjoy my 3 year olds Christmas list for Santa “a scary ghost” pic.twitter.com/VtmueGg7Vb

— sammy (@sammylynn_) November 23, 2019

4. This kid is not messing around.

I swear my son’s Christmas Lists get better every year. #christmaslist pic.twitter.com/yN9ZNAd3GW

— Erica Correa (@CodeWithCooties) December 7, 2019

5. Have to include that trademark.

I appreciate that my 6 year old is concerned with respecting @Mattel #HotWheels registered trademark, on his #ChristmasList. #Christmas #parenthood #dadlife #fatherhood #my2sons #kids #funny #laugh #boys #comedy #nolawsuits pic.twitter.com/ysg6vNeBmL

— Donovan Corneetz (@Donovan_VO) December 23, 2018

6. You did the right thing.

I found my Christmas list from 2007 and I really scratched off world peace for Hannah Montana tickets pic.twitter.com/1jPH0LFsed

— julianna (@julirogo_) August 15, 2019

7. Color-coordinated.

Gah damn my sister is so extra with her Christmas list LMAO pic.twitter.com/k6pTPXUF7j

— Changle your bells (@Chhaannggg) December 8, 2019

8. You better make it happen.

mila’s xmas list pic.twitter.com/wcZwjJ4WpY

— titi (@yourrucca) December 16, 2019

9. Proper dictation.

Please enjoy my daughter's christmas list that she dictated to me: pic.twitter.com/L4fm6BDFPP

— Dan Cassaro (@Dan_Cassaro) December 9, 2019

10. Playing mind games.

My child really put “things that I like but I can’t think of” on his Xmas list…. pic.twitter.com/qRUyWVeBvW

— Hill Rodriguez (@hillsss3) December 12, 2019

11. You definitely need that intro.

My son asked for my daughter’s help with his xmas list. So together they wrote it out. I love that my daughter cannot write anything without an intro.

“If so, here are our lists.” pic.twitter.com/Z318pIkZ5H

— ? ? ? ? (@SocialSara612) December 8, 2019

12. All the way to the top.

My 5 years olds Christmas List.. she had to make sure the @Simone_Biles Leo was at the top of the list where it belonged when she realized order might matter @gkelite pic.twitter.com/WD4hYKEGsY

— kaitielynch (@kaitielynch1) September 30, 2019

13. That is sweet.

Ok. But why is my cousins Christmas list to Santa the cutest thing I’ve ever read? pic.twitter.com/mjIYAe7niu

— em girl (@Emicristina1010) December 15, 2019

14. That’s quite a list.

We asked my youngest son to text us his Christmas list…here ya go pic.twitter.com/eOvxBZzWbU

— Daniel Jeremiah (@MoveTheSticks) December 10, 2019

15. I’m with him on this one.

My 8 year old Michael’s letter to Santa. #7 “A lot of queso”. #christmaslist #smartkid pic.twitter.com/MbqTZ8lBFc

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) December 12, 2019

What was on your kids’ lists?

What are the trendy toys this year?

Or maybe you just gave them a lump of coal?

Let us know in the comments!

The post Check out These Hilarious Tweets About Christmas Wish Lists appeared first on UberFacts.

December 24, 2019

Funny Tweets From Parents Who Are Totally Over the Holidays

Moms and dads…at least you can take comfort in the fact that we’re in the home stretch right now.

The holidays have been long and stressful, but now there’s an end in sight.

So put your shoulders back, put a smile on your face, and power through!

It’ll be 2020 in no time!

1. The “updated” list.

Have kids so you can be done with your Christmas shopping & they can hand you their "updated" list which includes nothing you bought.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 19, 2017

2. Tell them the truth.

I’m starting to wonder if it’s time to do away with the collective idea that Santa drives a sleigh guided by flying reindeer, and just tell my kids the truth: Santa drives a UPS or FedEx truck, and he is guided by people shopping Prime in their underwear.

— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) December 5, 2019

3. Put a ride to school on there, too.

Kids: Mom, we need toothpaste!

Me: Cool, you can add it to your Christmas lists.

Me, every time my kids ask for anything in the month of December.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) December 3, 2019

4. Perfect!

If you’re looking for Christmas gift ideas for my child, they wear a size “sleepover at Grandma’s house.”

— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) December 10, 2019

5. That’s the way it works.

Sorry kids but Santa said you can only ask for toys that are Amazon Prime eligible.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 13, 2015

6. Not a bad deal!

If you're stuck on what to get your kids for Christmas this year, my kids just spent the better part of the evening entertaining themselves with an empty Doritos bag.

Empty. Doritos. Bag.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) December 2, 2019

7. A lot of peaks and valleys.

The evolution of every mom in December:

Dec 1: Deck the halls!
Dec 4: did decorating always suck balls?
Dec 8-17: SANTA IS WATCHING!
Dec 18: <glimmer of hope>
Dec 19: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED!!
Dec 20: *googles all-inclusive adult only resorts*
Dec 24-25: THE BEST Christmas yet

— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) December 11, 2019

8. Don’t even bother.

5-year-old: The elf on the shelf never comes here.

Me: Our house is too messy. He'll come if we clean.

5: Not worth it.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 6, 2019

9. Get those diamonds!

5yo: What does Santa bring if I'm bad?
Me: I hear it's coal.
5yo: Is it true you can make diamonds out of coal?
Me: Possibly.
5yo: I'm gonna be pretty bad.

— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) November 30, 2017

10. You better start working!

My teenager asked for a $400 gaming system for Christmas, so guess who's waking up Christmas morning with a stocking full of job applications?

— KarateAndPopTarts (@KarenReneK) December 18, 2017

11. That’s what moms are for.

I don't do Elf on the Shelf because if I want someone to sit in silent judgement of my family with a fake smile on their face, I'll just invite my mother over.

— Ashley the Abominable Snow Monster (@AshToTheFuture) December 5, 2019

12. That makes sense.

Drove our kids around town to look at Christmas lights but they brought an iPad so they could watch a different kid drive around his town looking at lights.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 10, 2019

13. Got carried away.

Bought some nice holiday chocolates for my kids’ teachers today.

I tasted one to make sure they were good and long story short I have to go back to the store and buy more chocolates

— The Mom Who Knew Too Much (@Gilapfeffer) December 10, 2019

14. It’ll work like a charm!

My son announced a plan to "trap" Santa that involves cookies and wine and I was like not gonna lie that shit will absolutely work

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 20, 2017

15. Not exactly a relaxing night…

The children were nestled
all snug in their beds
until they had to pee
get a drink
show me they can whistle
and ask me if birds have teeth.

— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) December 20, 2016

Have you had enough of your family and holiday festivities yet?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post Funny Tweets From Parents Who Are Totally Over the Holidays appeared first on UberFacts.

December 24, 2019

15 Funny Tweets About Couples Therapy

Going to therapy is nothing to joke about…oh wait, yes it is!

At least it is according to these folks who decided to tweet about couples therapy.

Let’s dive right into the pain…and the laughs!

1. Who’s ahead?

Me: What's the score, who's winning?

Therapist: Ok so that's really not how couples counseling works.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 31, 2017

2. I’ve heard enough out of you.

Me: I just don’t see how Luigi could afford a mansion like that on a plumber’s salary, especially since he worked for his brother
Wife: see what I mean?
Therapist: shut up for a second he has a point

— The Dad (@thedad) March 2, 2019

3. Hahahaha.

[couples therapy]
HER: He's always talking down to me
ME: *heavy sigh* It's called being condescending but I doubt you knew that, Karen

— Floyd (@dafloydsta) November 24, 2015

4. Maybe you are…

Therapist: So why…why are you…here?
Me: My wife thinks I’m immature
T: And has she…has she actually CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT??!!
M: (I put the bubble wrap down)

— The Abominable The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) February 21, 2018

5. Doesn’t look good…

*Bob the Builder takes Wendy's hand at couples therapy*
…Can we fix it?

— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) July 16, 2016

6. That’s a tragedy.

Couples therapy 1999: he doesn't tell me I'm pretty anymore

Couples therapy 2017: he hasn't liked one of my tweets in like 8 months

— deck the halls w kimmymonte (@KimmyMonte) May 7, 2017

7. You’re not a doctor!

[Couples Therapy]

HER: He keeps pretending he's a doctor. This relationship is dead

HIM: I'm calling it. Time of death, 9:26

ME: OMG SEE!

— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) July 31, 2015

8. That is crucial.

[marriage counseling]

She doesn't think I'm very romantic

"He wears a fanny pack to bed"

IT'S FOR HOLDING SNACKS, KAREN

— Floyd (@dafloydsta) August 28, 2017

9. I see…

THERAPIST: why do you want to end your marriage?

ME: she uses the flesh colored emojis instead of the default yellow ones

THERAPIST: [nodding]

— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) May 20, 2018

10. You moron!

When you say something like that, I feel like YOU'RE A DAMN MORON.

(This marriage counseling is really helping me express myself better.)

— Just Linda (@LindaInDisguise) October 13, 2013

11. That’s great!

You think you have a good marriage? Well, at couples therapy my wife and I threw our shoulders out from high-fiving each other so much!

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) August 25, 2012

12. I’m gonna need to pat you down.

[at couples therapy]
"He’s always so suspicious."
I am not.
"You patted my father down for a wire at Christmas."
He has a moustache.

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) January 3, 2015

13. Uh oh…

My wife just made me put the fitted sheet on the bed by myself so I guess we are going back to couples counseling.

— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) February 23, 2013

14. Never a good sign.

{marriage counseling}

I guess it all started when I saw him put the toothpaste on before the water…

*therapist scribbles furiously*

— Marlalala la la la la (@Marlebean) July 28, 2015

15. He just can’t bring himself to do it.

(at marriage counseling)
Him: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Me: Why are you afraid? What do you think will happen if you refill the soap dispenser?

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) December 19, 2016

Have you ever given couples therapy a whirl?

If so, let us know how it went in the comments! We’re here to listen!

The post 15 Funny Tweets About Couples Therapy appeared first on UberFacts.

December 24, 2019

Is Your Dog Spoiled Rotten? Then These Tweets Are for You!

We all do it, right? When I’ve had dogs in the past, I treated them like royalty…BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE.

You know what I’m saying, right?

Dogs are our best friends – they love us unconditionally, and therefore they deserve to be spoiled rotten.

The people who wrote these tweets definitely agree with me…

1. Just call it a dog bed.

My dogs sleep on a dog bed. It's a king size one in the master bedroom that my husband and I sleep on too, but yeah, it's a dog bed.

— Stacey (@skittle624) November 3, 2017

2. Not you…

*Arriving home at the end of the day*
Me: Hi handsome
Husband: Hi
Me: Sorry I was talking to the dog

— sophielouwho (@sophielou) July 17, 2019

3. You’re absolutely right.

Husband: Sometimes I think you love the dogs more than you love me.

Me: (awkward silence)

— Jingle Bell Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) July 26, 2019

4. Why do you say that?

Wife: I think you're taking the idea of the dog being part of the family too far.

Me: [sitting dog at table with plate and silverware] why

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) June 27, 2017

5. Maybe?

wife: "have you spent all our money on stuff for the dog again?"
me: "no!"
[the dog rolls past the window on two hoverboards]
me: "okay yes"

— k e i t h (@KeetPotato) June 8, 2016

6. That’s a lie.

wife: You forgot to turn the TV off last night

[flashback to me leaving it on so the dog could finish watching Air Bud]

me: No I didn't

— Josh (@iwearaonesie) July 25, 2016

7. Living her best life.

this lady has her dog in the front seat and husband in the back. this will be me as a wife someday. pic.twitter.com/371b5K4tfp

— Paige Russell (@paige_russsell) February 28, 2016

8. Don’t upset the dog.

My husband and I get along better since realizing how much our yelling upsets the dog.

— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) August 22, 2019

9. That’s totally normal.

My wife and I have taken four photos together in the last two years, meanwhile we have ninety three photos of our dog sleeping since last week.

— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) November 22, 2018

10. Sorry, gotta go.

My husband told me he’s not feeling well and I told him I didn’t have time to worry about that…my dog is sneezing and she needs me.

— Stacey (@skittle624) July 12, 2018

11. Hell no!

Wife: “You want to come upstairs?”

Me: “Hell yes!”

Wife: “I was talking to the dog.”

— Bart (@bartandsoul) November 11, 2018

12. We all do this, right?

[leaving for work]
*gives wife a quick kiss*
*spends 10 minutes saying bye to the dog*

— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 18, 2017

13. Party night!

My wife is working late tomorrow and I’m going to let the dog have extra junk food and watch R-Rated movies.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) November 10, 2017

14. The floor is fine for you.

My dog and I have this cute bedtime routine where he sleeps in my husband’s spot and I let him.

— Jingle Bell Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) June 15, 2019

15. Honey, we need to talk…

I want to surprise my wife with plans for a vacation getaway but I want the surprise to be that it’s just me and my dog going.

— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) September 2, 2019

Do you have an extremely pampered pup?

Let’s see some photos in the comments!

The post Is Your Dog Spoiled Rotten? Then These Tweets Are for You! appeared first on UberFacts.

December 24, 2019

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was…

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was first published as a giveaway for the department store Montgomery Ward in 1939. The story was initially rejected because, in 1930s pop culture, a bright red nose was closely associated with chronic alcoholism and drunkards.

December 24, 2019

Somebody is serving 30 years…

Somebody is serving 30 years in the Supermax Prison for “plotting to build an industrial X-ray machine that would spew lethal doses of radiation powerful enough to kill people from a distance”.

December 24, 2019

FDR asked singer Eddie Cantor…

FDR asked singer Eddie Cantor if he could get a million people to send in a dollar to support polio research. He replied that it would be easier to ask for dimes. By the end of the month, the White House had received 2.68 million dimes ($268k) and the March of Dimes began.

December 24, 2019

After graduating with a bachelor…

After graduating with a bachelor of fine arts in film in 1967, George Lucas tried joining the United States Air Force as an officer, but was immediately turned down because of his numerous speeding tickets.

December 24, 2019

The cover of Captain America’s first…

The cover of Captain America’s first issue showed Cap punching Hitler. Some readers took objection, and the publishers received threats and hate mail. The threats proved so serious that police protection was posted with Mayor La Guardia personally contacting Simon and Kirby to give his support.