20 Jokes for All the ‘Star Wars’ Fans out There

Star Wars has spanned my entire lifetime – the first movie came out two years before I was born, and the last (they say) will drop around my 41st birthday.

There’s no way that I know to not be a fan of the franchise at this point. We’ve survived Jar Jar Binks, so the truth is, we’re not going anywhere, right?

And if you’re a fan, too, you’re going to love these 20 funnies.

20. Grammy! Where are my cookies?

…Grandma? from StarWars

19. And they say parenting is hard.

18. O really?

We’ll see about that from StarWars

17. I’m so glad people have too much time on their hands.

Stranger Wars from StarWars

16. Classic.

Official Star Wars Facebook just Han Solo’d Mark Zuckerberg. from StarWars

15. Why can’t I look away?

I hope this is the next standalone Star Wars movie. from StarWars

14. I’m going to need the rest of this story immediately.

Lightsaber night is cancelled, thanks Todd… from StarWars

13. I vote we change it officially.

Saw this online…sets up perfect title for Episode IX from StarWars

12. Right in the feels.

Found this at my local 5guys from StarWars

11. Just a small little plothole, there.

He wanted you to have it when you were old enough. from StarWars

10. You can always count on Hamill for the perfect comeback.

9. What better use of your talents?

It’s Working! from StarWars

8. They can’t all be geniuses.

God Damn it Luke. from StarWars

7. That plate, though.

I could get used to this from StarWars

6. I never would have caught that on my own.

I found an easter egg on my The Force Awakens Blu-Ray from StarWars

5. And they keep getting worse.

Tried my hand at a little K-2SO New Year’s Eve spirit from StarWars

4. The perfect way to NOT attend that costume party.

Thoughts on my Obi-Wan Kenobi Cosplay? from StarWars

3. Someone is not passing that class.

Another Star Wars themed snapchat for y’all. from StarWars

2. Yeah, there’s just no way to come back from that one, bud.

Facebook savagery from StarWars

1. It must be fate.

I got seat BB 8. Is this a sign? from StarWars

I’m more ready than ever for the Rise of Skywalker!

How about you? Do you have your tickets yet?

Let us know in the comments!

The post 20 Jokes for All the ‘Star Wars’ Fans out There appeared first on UberFacts.

In 1825, a British geologist went…

In 1825, a British geologist went to Sicily and examined the remains of a female saint. He concluded that they weren’t human and likely belonged to a goat. He told the priests, who kicked him out and then placed the bones into a casket to prevent future study.

In 1850, California law made…

In 1850, California law made it legal for towns to pay bounties for Indian scalps. Shasta City offered $5 for every Indian head brought to city hall, expenses reimbursed by the state treasury. There were 150,000 Indians in California before the 49ers, by 1870 less than 30,000.

During the cold war, soviet…

During the cold war, soviet troops weren’t issued toilet paper in the field, leading to them using official documents; Spies were sent in to retrieve these documents from disposal bins. It’s seen as one of the most successful espionage missions of the cold war.

A Study Show That for Entrepreneurs, 45 Is the New 25

For some people, seeing a young entrepreneur like Mark Zuckerberg completely change the world at such a young age can be disheartening as the years creep by. But wait! This is good news for people who feel like they might’ve missed the boat in one way or another, professionally speaking.

A new study led by Pierre Azoulay of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology analyzed the relationship between age and high-growth entrepreneurship. According to the researchers,

“Our primary finding is that successful entrepreneurs are middle-aged, not young. We find no evidence to suggest that founders in their 20’s are especially likely to succeed. Rather, all evidence points to founders being especially successful when starting businesses in middle age or beyond, while young founders appear disadvantaged.”

Azoulay and his researchers studied data from many sources, including tax forms and the U.S. Census Annual Survey of Entrepreneurs. They pored over records from over 2.5 million entrepreneurs who have founded businesses (not including sole proprietorships) in the U.S. since the 1970s. The conclusion: they found the average age of these entrepreneurs was 42 years old.

They also studied entrepreneurs who were active in growth-oriented entrepreneurship and found that businesses that operated in the high-tech sector had founders that averaged 43 years of age, and that founders of venture-backed startups and businesses based in Silicon Valley were 42 years old, on average.

The researchers also discovered that more successful startup companies had slightly older founders.

The authors of the study continued,

“The 1,700 founders of the fastest growing new ventures (the top 0.1%) in our universe of U.S. firms had an average age at founding of 45.0 (compared to 43.7 for the top 1% and 42.1 for the top 5%). Regardless of the measure of technology-intensiveness chosen, we see older founders as we move toward upper-tail performance, especially for the top 1 in 100 or top 1 in 1,000 firms, as well as for founders with successful exits. This evidence is at odds with the conventional wisdom that successful founders skew younger.”

Okay all of you middle-aged folks, get out there and start a business! You can do it!

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A Man with Vitiligo Is Knitting Dolls That Look like Him

This is a great story!

In Brazil, vitiligo – a skin disease that results in the loss of pigmentation in patches over the body – affects almost 3 million people. There are treatments available, but even though the medical aspects of the disease can be managed, the way people who suffer from it are treated by the public often can not be.

As with almost everything in life, though, knowing you’re not alone in your fight can make it all just a little bit better.

Enter Mr. Joao, a man who has lived with vitiligo for half of his life. He is now crocheting dolls that also “have” the disease, so that children with the affliction will be able to see faces that reflect their own.

He began crocheting with his wife when he found himself facing an early retirement (due to a heart condition), and at first he just wanted to knit a doll that would remind his granddaughter of him.

View this post on Instagram

Com @os50tonsdepele

A post shared by João Stanganelli Junior (@joaostanganelli) on

Then, he began thinking about what the dolls could do on a grander scale. And so he made Vitilinda (a portmanteau of vitiligo and linda, Portuguese for beautiful).

View this post on Instagram

Cadeira de rodas#Sempre Círculo

A post shared by João Stanganelli Junior (@joaostanganelli) on

Now, in addition to vitiligo, he knits dolls with other life challenges, like needing a wheelchair, being blind, and more.

Thank you for your work, Mr. Jaoa! You make the world a brighter place for kids who could use a little light.

 

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15 Threatening Signs That We Think Are Joking

These 15 signs sure are humorous because they’re just jokes…right?

At least, I think they’re supposed to be sarcastic.

I guess you never know, though…

So it’s up to you to go through these signs and you can be the judge…

1. Good luck in there.

It’s only fair from ScarySigns

2. Probably shouldn’t go in there.

This sign at my uncles house… from funny

3. Get those vaccinations, people!

I noticed a new sign at my doctors office from funny

4. Might be in there for a while.

This corn maze sign from funny

5. Don’t pull over. Ever.

State Prison - Do Not Pick Up Hitchhikers

6. Here is Exhibit A.

Presenting Exhibit A from funny

7. This guy needs his beauty sleep.

I have well meaning neighbours who knock on my door at all times (ALL TIMES) to inform me of neighbourhood discord. However I work shift. My Gf thinks this sign is too aggressive, but I think they understand my sense of humour. What do you think? from pics

8. Kind of violent.

This sign. from funny

9. Not going near that.

Nope. from ScarySigns

10. You might be a YouTube star!

Gotta be bold to urinate in public in Tirana, Albania from ScarySigns

11. I’m going away for a while…

This sign at my local Orthodox church… from funny

12. You should probably take this sign seriously.

At the Hippo Exhibit from ScarySigns

13. Keep on crying.

Crying is not an emergency. from TrollCoping

14. Love them…as a meal.

Alligators love kids from ScarySigns

15. This one is definitely NOT a joke.

Texas, home of the world’s scariest sign. from pics

These signs all put a big smile on my face!

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What Happens When a Plane Flies into a Flock of Birds?

Sometimes, these two worlds collide mid-air, and planes fly straight into a bird, or even a flock of birds.

The results can look really disastrous, especially for the birds. The good news is that bird strikes don’t typically pose any risk to airplanes or passengers. The really good news is that they’re unlikely to bring down a plane.

“Aircraft are designed and built to withstand bird strikes, and pilots undergo rigorous training to enable them to deal with eventualities like a bird strike,” BALPA flight safety specialist, Stephen Landells, told The Telegraph.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Even if a bird gets sucked into the airplane’s engine, the plane can usually land just fine. “Losing one engine is not going to cause an aircraft to crash because they are designed to fly with one engine down,” Stephen explained.

That doesn’t mean fliers are completely in the clear, however. While a single bird rarely poses any danger to a plane, Stephen added that “multiple bird strikes – or hitting large birds such as Canada geese – can and have caused serious accidents.” Captain Sully’s landing of a US Airways plane on the Hudson River in 2009 is perhaps the most famous example of this.

Photo Credit: YouTube

This is quite rare, though.

There were 160,894 bird strikes between 1990 and 2015 in the U.S. Only 40 of those strikes resulted in an accident.

Unfortunately, these incidents are often fatal for the birds (though not always). They can die on impact if they run into a plane, and they usually disintegrate if they get sucked into an engine. The number of wildlife strikes has also increased drastically over the years, as flying gets more popular.

Sadly, there’s not much that planes can do to avoid birds in the sky.

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