Month: September 2019

Rescued a praying mantis in a steep wooded area, fell really hard on a sharp rock and opened up my knee. The mantis was fine though.

The second I was born i clawed my own face and I got a small scar.

I was so pumped to eat my toaster strudel that I just shoved my hand into the toaster oven while it was still on like a bear pawing at a bee hive. The top of my wrist hit the heat bar (not sure what the word for this is) dead on while it was still red hot. 18 years later, it’s a pretty subtle scar, but god that hurt like a bitch at the time.

The dumbest part of this incident: despite the fact that my wrist had just audibly and excruciatingly sizzled, I somehow thought that the crisped skin that remained was a flake of toaster strudel that had fallen off, and proceeded to eat it. Me rinds did not taste good.

I’ve got a scar on my lip. Everyone thinks I’ve had a cleft before and had surgery on it.

Reality, I was 3 running full force through the house and fell with a book in my hand, sliced my lip right open on a paper cut. I still very much remember that moment. Everyone holding me down so they could clean the blood off my face lol.

Probably 5 or 6 years old, doing swimming lessons at a place in New Zealand, the pool had metal bars all around it a few cm under the water to be held onto when you were too short/the water deeper.

I was sort of jumping/bouncing in the shallow end listening to instructions and somehow lost my footing and fell with my chin slamming right down onto the bar and blood absolutely everywhere. I don’t know how one manages to slip not just in a non-slip children’s swimming lesson shallow pool nor how I even managed to injure myself doing so but I did and I’ve got a tiny little scar under my chin to show for it.

I didn’t go back to the place for many years (Live overseas but mother is kiwi and we were on holiday) but eventually when I did, aged 12 or 13, it turns out they removed the bars on all sides (even the deep end) of the pool because they were afraid my parents might sue (they never would’ve even considered it). One of the other kids in that swimming class actually asked why there was nothing to hold onto except for the rather difficult to reach ledge in the deep end and the instructor explained my above story… They weren’t aware that I was the infamous kid who caused all that trouble so were quite shocked at my laughter.

Been jumping on a mattress

Hit the radiator

Cracked my skull open.

My dad bought me a swiss army knife, as I was checking out one of it’s many blades a bee landed on my lap and I instinctively freaked out and stabbed myself.

I was playing freeze dance in kindergarten, spinning around and when the teacher said freeze I smashed my face into a table causing me to break my nose.

Edit: Thank you all for the up-votes you have no idea how happy it makes me knowing my pain caused a funny.

It’s not very visible anymore. When I was in Kindergarten, I found out what a world record was, so I tried to be the first every Kindergartener to do a front flip into a bathtub. Now, I’ve never even done a front flip, I was basing everything from my form to my execution of it on Power Rangers. So, it went about as good as you thought it would go: I jumped, face first (no tuck, roll, anything) into the sharp corner of the bathtub and busted my chin open. My twin sister was just standing there screaming and so was I, blood was everywhere, and when my mom came in she looked horrified.

Got my chin glued back together pretty much because I refused to get stitches or get it cauterised because they both sounded super painful.

Have a scar on the inner part of my thigh from riding a bicycle. Idk exactly how, but I fell and the bike ripped my inner thigh to fuck. Blood was everywhere, had to get stitches. When they were doing that, I saw chunks of my flesh being pulled off from the needles.

I remember being on the gurney in the hallway, cos the bitchass hospital didnt have rooms, and my dumbass had the habit of wearing shorts without boxers, so I felt extra uncomfortable and weird. I was lying there, and I was scared af. I touched the outer part of the gash wound, and I felt flesh.

It’s now a 5 inch scar, and one side of the scar is alil bit concaved. Supposedly thats the side that got fucked up the most, so the scar itself looks like it dips alil on the side.

Doctor said cause I was chubby, my thick thighs saved me from getting my leg chopped off. Better yet, it saved me from getting my dick chopped off too.

Point is, thicc thighs saves lives.

Edit: added details

Broke a vase, tried to glue it back together with toothpaste. I left it by a bedroom door and forgot about it. Ran into the bedroom later and promptly stepped on it.

I was five and was sitting on the toilet. I found a razor blade (not the kind for shaving) and started playing with it. I was cutting lines into the wall when the razor slipped away from the wall. My hand had some momentum and the blade cut into my thigh. At the time, I was scared about telling mom, so i went to bed and held my finger on it.

Oh and when I was three or four, I was riding underneath a grocery basket while mom was pushing. I was watching the wheel spinning fast. I went to put my finger on the wheel and it was pulled in between the wheel and metal casing.

I burned myself on a morrisons ready meal.

The scar left behind from a huge bite a german shepherd took off of my left hip. He was beyond the fence and i was playing with his owner, chasing each other around in the yard. We were both nine at the time. The dog got so worked up by our laughter and constant running around that he broke through the fence, pushed me to the ground and bit me really hard. He was pretty much my size at the time, an amazingly strong animal. He was only protecting his owner, thinking we were fighting or something. I hid that scar from my family my entire life because I was at my friend’s house to play without their permission. It took months for the wound to heal and the use of a couple of powder antibiotics that my granddad farmer kept in the house to tend to his animals. That was when I started to wash my own clothes, to the sheer delight of my mum, who saw that as a great sign of maturity given my age at the time. My family does not know about that episode even today and i am a grown ass 45 year old guy.

When I was 12, I was wheeling a grill up a hill. I wanted to bring it to my fort in the woods. Well I lost my grip and one of the grills leg came down sliced my ankle. It was pretty deep too. I probably should have gotten stitches but was too embarrassed of the whole thing. So I washed it out, put Neosporin and wrapped my ankle with gauze. Repeated this for a month. Now I have a good size scar.

Edit: thank you kind stranger for my first silver!

Rescued a praying mantis in a steep wooded area, fell really hard on a sharp rock and opened up my knee. The mantis was fine though.

The second I was born i clawed my own face and I got a small scar.

I was so pumped to eat my toaster strudel that I just shoved my hand into the toaster oven while it was still on like a bear pawing at a bee hive. The top of my wrist hit the heat bar (not sure what the word for this is) dead on while it was still red hot. 18 years later, it’s a pretty subtle scar, but god that hurt like a bitch at the time.

The dumbest part of this incident: despite the fact that my wrist had just audibly and excruciatingly sizzled, I somehow thought that the crisped skin that remained was a flake of toaster strudel that had fallen off, and proceeded to eat it. Me rinds did not taste good.

I’ve got a scar on my lip. Everyone thinks I’ve had a cleft before and had surgery on it.

Reality, I was 3 running full force through the house and fell with a book in my hand, sliced my lip right open on a paper cut. I still very much remember that moment. Everyone holding me down so they could clean the blood off my face lol.

Probably 5 or 6 years old, doing swimming lessons at a place in New Zealand, the pool had metal bars all around it a few cm under the water to be held onto when you were too short/the water deeper.

I was sort of jumping/bouncing in the shallow end listening to instructions and somehow lost my footing and fell with my chin slamming right down onto the bar and blood absolutely everywhere. I don’t know how one manages to slip not just in a non-slip children’s swimming lesson shallow pool nor how I even managed to injure myself doing so but I did and I’ve got a tiny little scar under my chin to show for it.

I didn’t go back to the place for many years (Live overseas but mother is kiwi and we were on holiday) but eventually when I did, aged 12 or 13, it turns out they removed the bars on all sides (even the deep end) of the pool because they were afraid my parents might sue (they never would’ve even considered it). One of the other kids in that swimming class actually asked why there was nothing to hold onto except for the rather difficult to reach ledge in the deep end and the instructor explained my above story… They weren’t aware that I was the infamous kid who caused all that trouble so were quite shocked at my laughter.

Been jumping on a mattress

Hit the radiator

Cracked my skull open.

My dad bought me a swiss army knife, as I was checking out one of it’s many blades a bee landed on my lap and I instinctively freaked out and stabbed myself.

I was playing freeze dance in kindergarten, spinning around and when the teacher said freeze I smashed my face into a table causing me to break my nose.

Edit: Thank you all for the up-votes you have no idea how happy it makes me knowing my pain caused a funny.

It’s not very visible anymore. When I was in Kindergarten, I found out what a world record was, so I tried to be the first every Kindergartener to do a front flip into a bathtub. Now, I’ve never even done a front flip, I was basing everything from my form to my execution of it on Power Rangers. So, it went about as good as you thought it would go: I jumped, face first (no tuck, roll, anything) into the sharp corner of the bathtub and busted my chin open. My twin sister was just standing there screaming and so was I, blood was everywhere, and when my mom came in she looked horrified.

Got my chin glued back together pretty much because I refused to get stitches or get it cauterised because they both sounded super painful.

Have a scar on the inner part of my thigh from riding a bicycle. Idk exactly how, but I fell and the bike ripped my inner thigh to fuck. Blood was everywhere, had to get stitches. When they were doing that, I saw chunks of my flesh being pulled off from the needles.

I remember being on the gurney in the hallway, cos the bitchass hospital didnt have rooms, and my dumbass had the habit of wearing shorts without boxers, so I felt extra uncomfortable and weird. I was lying there, and I was scared af. I touched the outer part of the gash wound, and I felt flesh.

It’s now a 5 inch scar, and one side of the scar is alil bit concaved. Supposedly thats the side that got fucked up the most, so the scar itself looks like it dips alil on the side.

Doctor said cause I was chubby, my thick thighs saved me from getting my leg chopped off. Better yet, it saved me from getting my dick chopped off too.

Point is, thicc thighs saves lives.

Edit: added details

Broke a vase, tried to glue it back together with toothpaste. I left it by a bedroom door and forgot about it. Ran into the bedroom later and promptly stepped on it.

I was five and was sitting on the toilet. I found a razor blade (not the kind for shaving) and started playing with it. I was cutting lines into the wall when the razor slipped away from the wall. My hand had some momentum and the blade cut into my thigh. At the time, I was scared about telling mom, so i went to bed and held my finger on it.

Oh and when I was three or four, I was riding underneath a grocery basket while mom was pushing. I was watching the wheel spinning fast. I went to put my finger on the wheel and it was pulled in between the wheel and metal casing.

I burned myself on a morrisons ready meal.

The scar left behind from a huge bite a german shepherd took off of my left hip. He was beyond the fence and i was playing with his owner, chasing each other around in the yard. We were both nine at the time. The dog got so worked up by our laughter and constant running around that he broke through the fence, pushed me to the ground and bit me really hard. He was pretty much my size at the time, an amazingly strong animal. He was only protecting his owner, thinking we were fighting or something. I hid that scar from my family my entire life because I was at my friend’s house to play without their permission. It took months for the wound to heal and the use of a couple of powder antibiotics that my granddad farmer kept in the house to tend to his animals. That was when I started to wash my own clothes, to the sheer delight of my mum, who saw that as a great sign of maturity given my age at the time. My family does not know about that episode even today and i am a grown ass 45 year old guy.

When I was 12, I was wheeling a grill up a hill. I wanted to bring it to my fort in the woods. Well I lost my grip and one of the grills leg came down sliced my ankle. It was pretty deep too. I probably should have gotten stitches but was too embarrassed of the whole thing. So I washed it out, put Neosporin and wrapped my ankle with gauze. Repeated this for a month. Now I have a good size scar.

Edit: thank you kind stranger for my first silver!