The state of Maryland used…

The state of Maryland used to have a colony in Africa named the Republic of Maryland. Also known by Maryland-in-Africa, the country merged into Liberia in 1857, becoming the present day Maryland County.

A Photographer Specializes in Close-Up Shots of Insects and Spiders

Alexander Mett is a wildlife photographer from Germany, and his work is pretty incredible. He gets extremely up close and personal with insects and spiders, and I do mean extremely up close.

I’m pretty sure you’ve never seen the intricate details on the faces of little critters like this before.

Take a look at Mett’s photos and be sure to follow him on Instagram.

1. Dewdrops

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Twin-lobed deerfly with dewdrops – Goldaugenbremse mit Tautropfen Hallo, diese wunderschöne Goldaugenbremse (Chrysops relictus) mit Tautropfen habe ich Mitte Juni 2018 früh Morgens auf einer Feuchtwiese bei Jossa im Spessart gefunden. Bremsen zählen wegen ihrer tollen Facettenaugen für mich zu den schönsten Makromotiven, erst recht wenn sie noch Tautropfen auf ihren Augen haben. Dafür lohnt sich dann auch das frühe Aufstehen, dass nötig ist um solche Bilder zu erhalten. Auch an diesem Wochenende werde ich wohl an einem Tag wieder sehr früh auf Tour gehen. Wenn ich dazu komme werde ich heute noch ein Bild von meiner aktuellen Ausrüstung zeigen und dem neuesten Diffusor. . . . #dewdrops #naturfotografie #macrophotography #_macroart #insects #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #kings_macro #majestic_macros #macro_mood #macro_kings #macrolove #macro_maniac #invert_macro #NatGeoDE #beautiful_insects_japan #extreme_wildlife_makrofotografie #exclusive_world_macro #Excellent_Macros #macro_perfection #macroworld_tr #macroclique #macroworld #episode1_macro #justperfect_shot #soulmademacro

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2. Creepy crawler

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Asianellus festivus male – Asianellus festivus Männchen Hallo, den kleinen Kerl habe ich 2017 aufgenommen. Das Bildergebnis ist ein Focus Stack aus 17 Aufnahmen. Diese Springspinnenart ist nicht nur sehr schön, sondern auch ziemlich selten und wird in vielen Bundesländern in der Roten Liste geführt. . . . . . #makrofotografie #jumpingspiders #macrophotography #macro_captures #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #macroshot #majestic_macros #macro_mood #macroworld #macro_kings #macrolove #macro_maniac #spiders #spider_fans #im_arachnids #invert_macro #NatGeoDE #beautiful_insects_japan #extreme_wildlife_makrofotografie #exclusive_world_macro #Excellent_Macros #macro_perfection #macroworld_tr #macroclique #macroworld #episode1_macro

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3. WOW

4. Bug eyes

5. Bzzzzzzzzzz

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Mein erster Instagram Beitrag … Hallo, eigentlich bin ich ja schon ein Opa in der Makrofotografie. Aber seit gestern habe ich erst meinen Instagram Account. Mein erstes Bild das ich hier zeigen möchte ist daher auch kein aktuelles, sondern wurde im Oktober 2013 aufgenommen. Diese schöne Wespe habe ich an einem kühlen und windigen Herbsttag in einen vertrockneten Blatt gefunden. Diese und andere Wespen haben in den Blättern von einem Busch Schutz vor dem Wetter gesucht. Die Wespe hat sich gut fotografieren lassen, wobei dieses Bildergebnis kein Focus Stack ist, sondern eine Einzelaufnahme im ABM von 2:1. Als Ausrüstung habe ich damals eine Sony A55, Blitz mit Diffusor und einen Retroadapter mit einer 35mm Minolta Linse und einem 14mm Zwischenring verwendet. Obwohl das Bild schon so alt ist, gehört es auch heute noch zu meinen besten Insektenmakros. #makrofotografie #naturfotografie #wunderdernatur #wespen #nabu #macrophotography #macro_captures #insects #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #macroshot #majestic_macros #macro_mood #macroworld #macro_kings #macrolove macro_maniac

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6. Great shot

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Die Gorilla Springspinne Hallo, auf dem Bild ist gut zu erkennen warum die Springspinnenart Evarcha arcuata auch "Gorilla Springspinne" genannt wird. Mit seinen sehr kräftigen Vorderbeinen und der kontrastreichen Zeichnung im Gesicht erinnert mich diese Springspinne auch an einen Silberrücken. Die Art gehört bei uns übrigens zu den häufigsten Springspinnen und ist z.B. auf Wiesen, besonders an Waldrändern anzutreffen. #makrofotografie #naturfotografie #wunderdernatur #springspinnen #nabu #macrophotography #macro_captures #jumpingspiders #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #macroshot #majestic_macros #macro_mood #macroworld #macro_kings #macrolove #macro_maniac #evarchaarcuata #spider_fans #gorillajumpingspider #geo #nationalgeographic

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7. Rock star spider

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The rock star spider Hello, here is a picture result (focus stack of 15 shots) of a fully grown philaeus crysops. This old female was the largest jumping spider i've seen so far. She is also considered the largest native jumping spider of germany. She was not only very tall,but also extremely hairy. The "blow-dry hair style" typical for jumping spiders was particularly pronounced in her and so it reminds me a little bit of a rockstar from the time of the "hair metal bands" of the 80s. ? . . . #jumpingspiders #macrophotography #macro_kings #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macro #macro_highlight #laowa #laowa60mm #insectguru #spider #spiders #im_arachnids #invert_macro #justperfect_shot #soulmademacro #beautiful_insects_japan #extreme_wildlife_makrofotografie #exclusive_macro #excellent_macro #macro_perfection #macroworld #macroworld_tr #episode1_macro

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8. Bloodsucker

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The bloodsucker Hello, I have found this beautiful horsefly with the name Heptatoma pellucens last year. Rather, she actually found me, in the picture is to see how she sucks on a drop of blood. I had the idea for such a picture many years ago, but either there was no horsefly or I was just not injured. Both fit here and that's how it came to this picture. Incidentally, this type of horseflies is pretty rare in Germany, I do not know exactly how rare, but in more than 8 years of macro photography, I've only seen it here for the first time. Short info about horseflies in general Only the females prick and suck blood because they need it for the development of the offspring. The males, on the other hand, feed on nectar and pollen. You can recognize the females by the long piercing proboscis and the arrangement of the eyes. In the females there is a broad forehead between the two eyes, in the males the eyes are very close together. . . . #worldwide_macro#macro_freaks #idmacro#dreaming_in_macro#gmf_macrofun #macro_spotlight#mat_macro#beautiful_insects_japan #macroworld_tr#_lookatme_macro#gf_macro#macro_creative_pictures#loves_united_macro#turklikeben_macro#episode1_macro#insectguru#macro_celebes#laowa#extreme_wildlife_makrofotografie#masters_in_macro#miracles_noblesse#mat_macro#invert_macro#electric_macro#macro_alit#b2macro#rebel_macro#insects#horsefly#justperfect_shot #soulmademacro

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9. Male yellow sac spider

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Male yellow sac spider – Ammen-Dornfinger Männchen (Cheiracanthium punctorium) Hello, I photographed this male yellow sac spider in May 2018. The picture shows the thorns at the top of the pedipalps, which gives this impressive and interesting spider its german name "Dornfinger". . Hallo, dieses Dornfinger-Männchen habe ich im Mai 2018 aufgenommen. Beim Bild sind gut die Dornen oben an den Pedipalpen zu erkennen, ihnen verdankt diese beeindruckende und interessante Spinne auch ihren Namen. . . . #makrofotografie #cheiracanthiidae #macrophotography #macro_captures #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #macroshot #majestic_macros #macro_mood #macroworld #macro_kings #macrolove #macro_maniac #spiders #spider_fans #im_arachnids #invert_macro #NatGeoDE #beautiful_insects_japan #extreme_wildlife_makrofotografie #exclusive_world_macro #Excellent_Macros #macro_perfection #macroworld_tr #macroclique #macroworld #episode1_macro

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10. Making the jump

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Male Pellenes tripunctatus – Kreuzspringspinnen Männchen Hello, here is a picture of a male Pellenes tripunctatus. The little fella was interested in the camera and stretched his legs for it and more times try on it to jump. When that happens, let the spider is either jumped, or you pull the camera away for a moment so that it will not jump. . Hallo,hier ist ein Bildergebnis (komplett manueller Focus Stack aus 8 Aufnahmen) vom seltenen Kreuzspringspinnen Männchen. Der Kleine hat hier interessiert seine Vorderbeinchen zum Objektiv ausgestreckt und hat auch mehrmals versucht drauf zu springen. Wenn das passiert läßt man die Springspinne entweder springen, oder man zieht die Kamera kurz weg, damit sie erst gar nicht zum Sprung ansetzt. . . #jumpingspiders #macrophotography #macro_captures #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #macroshot #majestic_macros #macro_mood #macroworld #macro_kings #macrolove #macro_maniac #spiders #spider_fans #im_arachnids #invert_macro #justperfect_shot #soulmademacro #beautiful_insects_japan #extreme_wildlife_makrofotografie #exclusive_world_macro #Excellent_Macros #macro_perfection #macroworld_tr #macroclique #macroworld #episode1_macro

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11. Terminator

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The Terminator Servus, dieses Bildergebnis ist eines meiner besten aus dem Jahr 2017. Zu sehen sind eine große Sackspinne (Clubiona corticalis) und insgesamt 4 alte Wolfspinnenhäute. Die Story zum Bild Ich schaue bei meinen Touren auch immer wieder gerne unter Totholz nach, besonders wenn sonst nichts zu finden ist. Unter Totholz findet man nämlich eigentlich immer ein paar Makro-Motive. Angefangen bei Hundertfüßern, über Asseln bishin zu einigen Spinnenarten reicht die Artenvielfalt auf die man dort treffen kann. Anfang Mai 2017 drehe ich also so ein Holzstück um und sehe neben einigen abgelegten Wolfspinnenhäuten auch eine wirklich große Sackspinne, deren Gespinnstsack beim umdrehen des Holzstückes aufgerissen wurde. Teile des Gespinnstes in dem sie sich aufgehalten hat, sind rechts im Bild gut zu erkennen. Der Hauptteil des Gespinnstes liegt aber außerhalb des Bildes. Die Spinne blieb zum Glück lange Zeit sehr ruhig und so konnte ich genügend Aufnahmen für einen Focus Stack machen. Auf den Bildtitel kam ich übrigens weil die Situation mich sofort an die eine Szene aus dem Film "Der Terminator" erinnert hat, in dem die Cyborgs in der Zukunft über die Gerippe und Totenschädel der Menschen gelaufen sind. Im Bild handelt es sich aber nicht um tote Wolfspinnen, sondern lediglich um die alten Häute der Spinnen. Wer den Film kennt wird eine gewisse Ähnlichkeit der Szenen aber bestimmt auch erkennen können. Links im Bild ist der Kopfteil einer Wolfspinne zu sehen der Tatsächlich ein wenig wie ein menschlicher Totenschädel aussieht. . . . #makrofotografie #clubionidae #macrophotography #macro_captures #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #macroshot #majestic_macros #macro_mood #macroworld #macro_kings #macrolove #macro_maniac #spiders #spider_fans #im_arachnids #invert_macro #NatGeoDE #beautiful_insects_japan #extreme_wildlife_makrofotografie #exclusive_world_macro #Excellent_Macros #macro_perfection #macroworld_tr #macroclique #macroworld #episode1_macro

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12. King of the forest

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The king of the forest – Der König des Waldes Servus, als eigentlicher König der Wälder wird natürlich der Hirsch bezeichnet, im Mikrokosmos der Insekten ist es jedoch der Hirschkäfer. Von den vielen tollen Motiven die ich hier schon im Spessart gefunden habe, ist der Hirschkäfer sicher der imposanteste. Neben ihm sehen selbst voll ausgewachsene Gelbe Mordfliegen oder Sandlaufkäfer klein aus. Das Bild ist ein Focus Stack aus 63 Aufnahmen. Ich habe vom Hirschkäfer auch ein kleines Video aufgenommen wo gut zu sehen ist das er bei bester Gesundheit war und diese Drohhaltung auch während des Videos eingenommen hat. Ich werde immer wieder gefragt wie ich denn soviele Aufnahmen von einem Motiv wie z.B. einer Springspinne oder einer Raubfliege machen kann ohne das sie sich bewegt. Erstens dauert es bei weitem nicht so lange wie die meisten vielleicht denken, auch dieser Focus Stack war nach ca. 30 Sek. im Kasten. Außerdem (und jetzt kommt der eigentliche Punkt warum das funktioniert) stacke ich die meisten Serien bzw. Teile davon manuell in Photoshop weil es eben fast immer zu Bewegungen kommt. Ich mache das schon so seit vielen Jahren und habe dieses Vorgehen der Bildbearbeitung inzwischen Perfektioniert. Es gibt mittlerweile für mich nichts mehr was ich nicht stacken kann, es ist nur eine Frage von Zeit und dem Willen es zu tun. Wer live sehen will wie ich es genau mache kann gerne einen Personal Coaching Workshop bei mir buchen. . . . . #makrofotografie #naturfotografie #nabu #macrophotography #_macroart #insects #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #macroshot #majestic_macros #macro_mood #hirschkäfer #macro_kings #macrolove #macro_maniac #invert_macro #NatGeoDE #beautiful_insects_japan #extreme_wildlife_makrofotografie #exclusive_world_macro #Excellent_Macros #macro_perfection #macroworld_tr #macroclique #macroworld #episode1_macro

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13. Queen wasp

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Cuckoo wasp warming up her wings – Goldwespe beim aufwärmen Hallo, diese Goldwespe (vermutlich Chrysis ruddii) habe ich beim aufwärmen ihrer Flügelmuskulatur fotografieren können. An kühlen Tagen und früh Morgens kann man Goldwespen eigentlich sehr gut fotografieren. Tagsüber bei schönen Wetter ist das aber fast unmöglich. Dabei zählen Goldwespen wegen ihrer bunten Färbung zu den schönsten Motiven. Das Bild ist ein rein manueller Focus Stack aus 14 Aufnahmen. Fundort: Jossa im Spessart . . . #makrofotografie #naturfotografie #nabu #macrophotography #macro_captures #insects #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #macroshot #majestic_macros #macro_mood #cuckoowasp #macro_kings #macrolove #macro_maniac #invert_macro #NatGeoDE #beautiful_insects_japan #extreme_wildlife_makrofotografie #exclusive_world_macro #Excellent_Macros #macro_perfection #macroworld_tr #macroclique #macroworld #episode1_macro

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14. Look at that face

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Grüne Krabbenspinne (Diaea dorsata) Hallo, dieses Bild einer Grünen Krabbenspinne (Diaea dorsata) ist zwar nicht neu, ich habe es aber 2018 nochmal komplett neu bearbeitet für mein Buch. Es ist ein manueller Focus Stack aus 9 Aufnahmen. Dieses Bild ist eines meiner ersten richtig guten extremen Makros überhaupt und stammt aus dem September 2013! . . . . #makrofotografie #naturfotografie #wunderdernatur #spinnen #nabu #macrophotography #macro_captures #krabbenspinne #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #macroshot #majestic_macros #macro_mood #macroworld #macro_kings #macrolove #macro_maniac #spiders #spider_fans #im_arachnids #invert_macro #NatGeoDE #beautiful_insects_japan #extreme_wildlife_makrofotografie #exclusive_world_macro #Excellent_Macros

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15. Yikes

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Hallo, Morgen geht es mal wieder auf Fototour in ein sehr schönes Gebiet. Dieses wütende Ammen-Dornfinger Weibchen (Cheiracanthium punctorium) habe ich vor ein paar Jahren auch in einem super Makrogebiet fotografiert in der Nähe von Darmstadt. Das Bild hat übrigens als Vorlage für ein T-Shirt Motiv von meinem Modelabel für Spinnenfans @bonesandspiders gedient. #makrofotografie #naturfotografie #wunderdernatur #spinnen #nabu #macrophotography #macro_captures #spiders #macro_freaks #macro_brilliance #top_macro #igbest_macros #macro_highlight #macro_holic #macroshot #majestic_macros #macro_mood #macroworld #macro_kings #macrolove #macro_maniac #welovespiders #scaryspider #dornfinger #cheiracanthium_punctorium

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Those are very impressive, don’t you think?

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The Popular Sugar Substitute Xylitol Is Deadly Poison for Your Pets

Xylitol is a sugar alcohol and is found in many food items, including sugar-free candies, puddings and even in some peanut butters. It is also used in mouthwash and toothpaste. Recently, the FDA reported that Xylitol is dangerous for dogs to ingest.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Although xylitol is totally safe for humans, it causes a massive insulin dump from the pancreas into the bloodstream for dogs. This can cause them to have dangerously low blood sugar levels and other symptoms such as weakness, trembling and seizures.

This could happen if, for instance, your pup eats a packet of sugar-free gum.

If you think your dog has eaten a product containing xylitol, call your veterinarian or animal poison control center immediately.

Photo Credit: Needpix.com

Gum is the most common source of xylitol poisoning in dogs, followed by “skinny” ice-cream. Poisonings can also occur when dog owners give their pets treats or medicine with a bit of peanut butter, so make sure to check the label on the jar before doing this.

To be clear: Xylitol does not have the same effect for people. People with diabetes often have it in bulk amounts at home to bake and sweeten with. Many homes contain store-bought products sweetened with xylitol, so, again, if you have a dog, be sure to check labels – especially if the product is branded as sugar-free or low-sugar.

Photo Credit: FDA

You don’t really have to worry about your cat because they aren’t big on sweet stuff. But your big, floppy doggo is always surfing for your gum, flavored toothpaste or box of “skinny” cookies. Put the yummies safely away – maybe with the chocolate – and, one more time, check labels before doling out the treats or meds.

The post The Popular Sugar Substitute Xylitol Is Deadly Poison for Your Pets appeared first on UberFacts.

Use These 20 Little-Known Words to Win Your Next Scrabble Game

People take their Scrabble very seriously.

I have some friends who are in some serious Scrabble grudge matches that might just end their friendships with certain people.

And now I’m going to interject myself into the equation! How? Because here are 20 little-known words that you can use in your next Scrabble game that will blow your opponent’s mind and maybe put you over the top for a win!

You’re welcome!

1. Oxyphenbutazone

A type of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

2. Muzjiks

A Russian peasant.

3. Qi

The energy of life flowing through the body.

4. Qat

A shrub that grows in the Middle East and Africa.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

5. Xu

A coin that used to be minted in South Vietnam.

6. Cwm

A half-open hollow on a mountainside.

7. Beziques

A card game played with a pack of 48 cards (two of each suit for high cards).

Photo Credit: Pexels

8. Caziques

Black-and-red or black-and-yellow orioles of the American tropics.

9. Highjack

Alternate spelling of hijack.

10. Oxazepam

A tranquilizing drug used to treat anxiety, insomnia, and alcohol withdrawal.

11. Quixotry

Quixotic action or thought.

12. Vizcacha

A burrowing rodent.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

13. Chutzpah

Unbelievable gall; supreme self-confidence.

14. Quetzals

The basic unit of money in Guatemala; large bird of Central and South America.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

15. Whizbang

A small high-velocity shell; a firecracker that makes a whizzing sound followed by an explosion.

16. Wheezily

With a wheeze.

17. Exorcize

Drive out or attempt to drive out (an evil spirit) from a person or place.

Photo Credit: Warner Bros.

18. Zombify

To turn into a zombie.

19. Jezebel

A shameless, impudent, scheming woman.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

20. Zymurgy

The branch of chemistry concerned with fermentation.

It’s time to dominate! Good luck!

The post Use These 20 Little-Known Words to Win Your Next Scrabble Game appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Questions About Disney Villains That Need to Be Answered Right Now

Have you had these questions burning a hole in your mind since you were a kid?

I think we all know the answer is YES.

#15. What was Captain Hook’s name before, you know…

Image Credit: Disney

He wasn’t born that way, I assume.

#14. Why didn’t Jafar just wish for a new kingdom?

Image Credit: Disney

Maybe hubris really was the thing that did him in.

#13. How does Hades die in his own river?

Image Credit: Disney

Don’t you think he would have thought of that?!

#12. Why didn’t the Magic Mirror just warn the Evil Queen to steer clear of Snow White altogether?

Image Credit: Disney

It really was throwing some serious shade.

#11. How did literally no one ever punish the cats in Lady and the Tramp?

Image Credit: Disney

As a child, this injustice bugged me – and it’s followed me into adulthood!

#10. If Cruella de Vil and Anita are the same age, why does the villain look so gray and aged?

Image Credit: Disney

Seriously, she can afford the good stuff. Moisturizer, I mean.

#9. What is Scar’s deal?

Image Credit: Disney

How did he become an outcast? He’s pretty terrible, but we don’t really know why.

#8. Was Maleficent really that petty?

Image Credit: Disney

I mean, she didn’t get invited to a party. Was it really that big of a deal?

#7. Why did the Queen of Hearts insist on croquet?

Image Credit: Disney

She had to know, deep down, that she sucked and was going to lose her cool.

#6. Why doesn’t anyone except Belle seem to notice how awful Gaston is?

Image Credit: Disney

They’re not in high school anymore – who puts up or admires buffoons into adulthood?

#5. Why doesn’t Prince John buy tailored clothes?

Image Credit: Disney

Does he enjoy literally not being able to fill his predecessors shoes?

#4. Yzma is supposedly a chemist, so why can’t she make her own eternal youth compound?

Image Credit: Disney

Maybe she’s just not very good?

#3. If Lady Tremaine knew her daughters needed a little help to get the prince’s attention, why didn’t she make sure they had better dresses?

Image Credit: Disney

She clearly wasn’t really trying.

#2. Esmerelda was not the only pretty girl in Paris, soo…

Image Credit: Disney

Why didn’t Claude Frollo just move on instead of threatening to literally burn the whole thing down?

#1. Was Dr. Facilier just hell-bent on evil control?

Image Credit: Disney

He lives in New Orleans – couldn’t he have just grabbed a hurricane and some gumbo and called it a day?

Fess up, baddies!

The post 15 Questions About Disney Villains That Need to Be Answered Right Now appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Share the Most Polite Way to Tell Someone to F**k Off

Sometimes, when you’re at work, you just need to tell someone that they’ve screwed up or that they need to mind their own business. But also you might not work in a place where cursing and yelling is appropriate. What’s a person to do!

While most of us can pick up on nuance, below are 13+ pretty clever ways to tell someone to go p*ss up a rope.

Which is a must underused expression on its own, in my opinion.

#15. He just put up his hand.

I was in a meeting where we were planning out a huge client presentation and one of the guys who was there just went off on a complete diatribe of how he would go about adding some flair. He was known for being a loudmouth, and after about 15 minutes of his plans, the team lead just literally put up his hand and waited for him to stop talking. He sat there for 30 seconds in silence and then moved on. No addressing anything that was just said.

#14. We need to revisit the language.

“If that is your understanding of the current agreement, we need go revisit the language so that your expectation levels can be set more appropriately.”

#13. I am not emotionally invested.

Once heard a coworker bust out in a monotone voice, “Ma’am, I need you to know that I am not emotionally invested in this conversation. What do you need so we can both go on with our lives?” Really had to stifle my laughter in my cube next to her.

#12. Important to note.

I am not contractually obligated to fulfill that request. It is also important to note that doing so would also be a violation of international trade laws.

#11. As we discussed.

I work as a contractor to the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration). The best professional fuck you I’ve seen was via email. There’s this other contractor who is one of those types of know-it-alls that has to tell everyone how they should do things, often unsolicited, and likes to write really wordy, long emails to convince everyone of how smart he is. One day, he sent out an email suggesting some sweeping changes to our rollout schedule for some new ATC equipment, and “took the liberty” of sending his revised schedule to everyone – feds, contractors, upper management, upper upper management, sites, etc.

After several hours of us all privately marveling at the audacity and stupidity of this guy’s massive overstep, the fed that is in charge of our entire program reply-all’s.

The email started hilariously with “Thank you for your interest in aviation safety. As we discussed, contractors cannot set policy for the agency and do not have the authority to make decisions on behalf of the government.” Then it went on for several paragraphs, ending with tips on how he can apply for jobs within the federal agency if he wants to pull shit like this.

It was a massively embarrassing smackdown for this guy. We were all super happy to see him get his dick knocked in the dirt. It’s kind of hard to explain why the first sentence “Thank you for your interest in aviation safety” was so funny without being able to describe the guy that wrote it, but it was meant to be super condescending. I still have the email saved in my inbox.

#10.  Our policy is…

Overheard my boss once say “Our policy is…(long pause while he loads up his phrasing, then clearly changes his mind and just says)…no.”

Literally thirty years ago and still gives me a chuckle.

#9. That’s great.

I used to have a coworker who was a know it all who could actually back it up. We had a memory leak (for non programmers: a very big issue) and he found it and was making the fix. He sayd something in the lines of “the leak is in line 247” and our boss goes nuts, spends an hour ranting about how he wrote that code himself and there was no way the leak was there, and how dumb he was to think it was there.

Coworker let’s him talk for an hour, then with the best poker face says “that’s great but the leak is in line 247.” Then demonstrates it in a minute.

#8. Please be advised.

The fuck you lawyer letters that I have seen usually start with “Please be advised” and end with “govern yourself accordingly”.

#7. You can leave in the morning.

“We don’t need two weeks notice, you can leave this morning.”

#6. Especially annoying.

“I’ll be sure to give that the attention it deserves” if they’re especially annoying/stupid!

#5. But…

During an exit interview…
“Ya, I had a great 3 years here.”
“But, you worked here for 5 years…”

#4. Please don’t.

I do IT helpdesk, we have a person in IT who is one of those people who just likes to hear herself talk, and can go on for quite awhile. One day i pick up the phone, and someone is asking for her. here’s the interaction:

Me: IT this is Wyatt how can i help?

User: Hi, i was working with [person] earlier to try and fix my [some issue i cant remember]

Me: Oh yeah, give me one second i’ll see if she’s at her desk and i’ll transfer you over.

User: Please don’t.

just the tone in their voice as they said that made it clear that they really did not want to spend any more time on the phone with that person.

#3. Custom engraving.

My family works in the textile industry.

Once, my dad worked at a company that had a vendor that made buttons for various types of clothes. They had not paid this vendor yet, but my Dads boss was still pressuring him to pressure the vendor to get something done (I don’t recall the specifics).

Well, the button vendor had taken enough shit, so he made a a custom run of buttons and sent them back a shirt in which every button had “fuck you, pay me” custom engraved into it.

Professional etiquette? No, definitely not. Professional fuck you? Most definitely.

#2. Please feel free.

“I’m terribly sorry you feel that way. Please feel free to contact our complaints department.”

(To someone who wanted an appointment on a day when there were no appointments available, but insisted that she would come in on that day, at that time) “You’re more than welcome to come in on that day, but I’m afraid there will be nobody available to see you. You’ll have much better luck if we simply book an appointment for a different day.”

#1. Please refrain.

We have no plans to pursue the matter now or in the future. We ask that you refrain from further contact with us.

Take heed, whichever end of the conversation you’re on.

The post 15 People Share the Most Polite Way to Tell Someone to F**k Off appeared first on UberFacts.

Men Share Their Own Traumatic #MeToo Stories

Many people are no longer scared to come forward with their personal stories about sexual assault and harassment. And it’s all because of the #MeToo movement.

This also includes men. In this AskReddit thread, men share their painful #metoo stories.

1. Deep sleep

“Was at a friends house for the weekend, his sister shows up and we kind of clicked. After a night of heavy drinking she asked me to sleep in her bed with her, I remember making out with her and then falling asleep. I woke up completely naked and asked her how that happened and she said she felt that I was still hard after dozing off so she just took it upon herself to have sex w me even though I was asleep (or at least half asleep, I’m known as a very deep sleeper, especially when drunk).

At that point I had never had sex with anyone without a condom, so you can imagine my excitement when I found out that there wasn’t one used with this girl that I had met for the first time.

And what’s worse was I ended working with her briefly like a year or so after and she decided to tell all the other girls I worked with that we had sex, which then basically made them want nothing to do with me.”

2. Makes me sick

“I was raped on and off from ages 8-11 by a family member. When I finally told, they cut ties with him but my family blocked me from pressing legal charges. He became a cop and now is in charge of keeping people safe, and that makes me sick.”

3. Raped

“i was raped in college. went to popular college bar, alone, because my friends had all graduated. an older woman, 40s probably, sat down next to me and started chatting. i don’t know if she drugged me or i blacked out. i woke up at first light nude in a strange house. she got up to shower or something, i jumped up, found my stuff in a corner in the room, and bailed. i found my way to the main road and realized i was 10 miles from the town i lived in. head pounding, it was a long walk. i filed a police report and they took me seriously enough to do the report but said that because i couldn’t provide a name or remember exactly what home there wasn’t much they could do.”

4. Psycho

“Drunken girl on a cruise ship grabbed my balls and squeezed so hard I fell to the floor in pain. As I got up, I asked why she did that, the answer was “you don’t deserve to have kids.” “

5. Attacked

“This happened like three months ago. I was on vacation with friends and was super drunk/high. They wouldn’t let me into bars I was so fucked up.

I was sleeping back at an Airbnb we were renting and my gay friend came in and asked to sleep in the bed with me, (Not enough beds, had air mattresses) I said it was okay. He was a friend, ya know?

We went to sleep and I woke up to him rubbing his ass on my dick to get it hard. I turned away from him and he then asked to suck me off as he ripped open my button fly jeans and yanked them down. I remember saying “no, no, no-” but I was like petrified and just laid there. I stared at the ceiling for a while as it happened then I stopped it and turned over away from him.

What made it worse was I feel like he was psychologically playing with me the rest of the vacation. Like he took my room and I slept on the couch, he’d make comments and be a dick to me. And I feel bad not telling anyone afterwards (or kicking his ass out of the Airbnb when it happened) cause he could have done the same thing to my other friends.”

6. Groped

“When I was 19 I was sexually harassed and groped by my 23 year old manager when I was working at a lottery kiosk. I was bent over moving stuff around under the counter when she walked up behind me, told me she had a dream about us having sex the night before and then grabbed my ass.

I froze, she laughed and went back to her desk. I didn’t know what to do or say so I just went on with my day.”

7. Too scared

“Was at the beach when an older man grabbed my ass. I told him to stop and he grabbed my crotch. I pushed him away. I was too scared to call the police. I blamed myself for a while.”

8. Unwarranted

“Was a bouncer growing up. Every single night my junk would get grabbed. Occasionally would have a girl try and work the zipper down on my pants. Piles of unwarranted kisses. Contrary to popular belief I wasn’t thrilled, had a solid gf at the time, and found it scummy.”

9. Traumatized

“14 years old at a resort. Was out late with some guys I’d met. Coming home in this dark corridor, some old guy jumps out of nowhere, pins me against a wall and sticks his tongue in my face licking me and trying to work my pants down. I shoved my knee into his crotch and ran. It left me traumatized for months about meeting new people.”

10. I have a girlfriend

“Was going out with some friends from work, went out early and had to wait for them. Sat down at a table with 1 guy and 2 women and we started talking after around 20-30 minutes the guy and 1 of the women excused themselves and left. So i was sitting there with this woman and she was sending very clear signals, like overtly sexual.

Told her i had a girlfriend, she just started screaming that i had put something in her drink. I got thrown out she got to stay, i had to talk with the police, got banned from that place on top of it. They never bothered looking into if anyone had put anything in her drink either. It was just assumed that i was guilty.”

11. Walkin’ home

“Went out with a girl and she drove us. She told me either I go inside her apartment and let her blow me or I walk home.

It was like 10 degrees F and I wasnt dressed for it and I was about 10 miles from home.

So I walked.”

12. She does that

“I went on a camping trip during college and was raped by a girl. I woke up as she was blowing me and I realized what was going on as she was about to mount me, so I threw her off, puked and kicked her out of my tent. We had no communication prior to this. When I told others about it, all I got was a laugh and “Yeahhh, she does that”. Went to campus police and was “highly recommended” that I drop it as they laughed about it. I didn’t want to be made fun of as the guy who was raped by a girl and all the jokes that would come with it.”

13. Not OK

“I was working as a bus boy at a restaurant and a drunk old lady suddenly grabbed my junk in a death grip for what felt like an eternity.”

14. Business trip

“This was about 18 years ago. I was on a business trip with a woman who I was not at all attracted to, physically or personality wise. I was 24 she was probably 29-31. She invited me to go get dinner after work, I agreed, she seemed normal enough to just chit-chat with. She said to stop by her hotel room when I was ready. When I got there she invited me into her room before we headed out. She had a bottle wine open and asked if I wanted a glass. I didn’t think there was much harm in it so sure, why not.

We walked to a Red Robin a few blocks away for dinner. I had 2 beers with my burger while we just made small talk. After dinner we decided to go see a movie. Nothing really exceptional. I can’t even remember what it was. I also don’t remember walking back to the hotel. What I do remember is gaining consciousness with her on top of me then nothing else until I woke up in the morning naked in her bed. I got dressed and high-tailed it back to my room and took the longest shower of my life. I assume I was roofied since I know I only had 3 drinks which, even though I’ve been blackout drunk in the past it took a lot more than 3 drinks over 4 hours to get that way. I’ve only ever told my wife about it and that’s about it besides this.”

15. With force

“I now realize I had this kind of experience when I was younger with a girl from high school. She wanted to have sex with me and was the fiancée of a friend of mine at the time. I told her I didn’t want anything like that with her and she forcibly groped me multiple times when we were alone and forcibly kissed me one time as well.”

16. The bathroom

“I remember being around 2 or 3 years old when this happened. My parents had our next door neighbor babysit me often. She was a teenager. I can remember one time she was in the bathroom and she called me into the bathroom. She was sat on the toilet, legs spread. I tried looking away cause I thought it was gross but she grabbed my arm and forced me to look at her vagina. Then she slapped me. I ran away but then she yelled at me to come back. I did and she told me to look again. Again, I didn’t want to but she told me she would slap me again if I didn’t look. Not wanting to get hit again, I looked. Obviously she slapped me anyway. I don’t remember much after that.

She eventually got fired cause my mom caught her stealing makeup. I told my parents she would hit me, but I never told them the context above. I’ve never told anyone before this really. I’m 30 years old and I’m pretty sure it still affects me. I don’t like looking at women’s genitals and frankly feel embarrassed to look at any women who are disrobed. I’ve honestly never had a girlfriend before, and the idea of intimacy with a woman just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m sure I want a family someday, but I don’t have any drive to pursue it, and when I think to myself why I feel this way, my thoughts inevitably drift back to that day in the bathroom.”

17. Grabbed

“I was at a bar the other night and had a girl walk over to me and grab my crotch (She was a stranger who I had never talked to or even made eye contact with) then she told me “You just look like you have a really big dick.” I just turned and walked away thinking she was hammered and confused me with somebody else.

Then she walked over again with some guy and told me that it was her boyfriend and he saw her grab my crotch. Her boyfriend then spread his arms and asked “what was my fucking problem?” and gave me a small shove. My best friend grabbed me and pulled me away and we left. I basically got groped by a stranger and then some guy wanted to fight me because of it… I’m still angry and confused by it.”

18. Crossed the line

“One of my girlfriend’s gay friends was fucked up on something and tried to kiss me. I backed away kind of chuckling and he grabbed the back of my neck, duck his nails in and pulled my head towards his face. I was able to push him off of me but a boundry had been crossed that messed with me for a while.

Never really told anyone because I didn’t want anyone to think I was homophobic.”

19. Violated

“Girl at the bar i was dancing with kept sticking her hand down my pants. Kept telling her to stop, she called me a pussy. Walked away and left with my friends, felt kind of violated. Not a huge deal but i’ve been fortunate in life so far no other examples.”

20. Targeted

“A friend of mine in high school (16 year old boy) got targeted by a younger teacher (late 20s woman). She would try to keep him after class, rub his shoulders, drape her arm around him when she was talking to him. Stuff like that. It made him very uncomfortable, but all the guys in class kept telling him how he should consider himself lucky because she’s a good looking woman.

This soon escalated to her insisting he “return the favor” in order to keep his grades up. Like we’d compare notes and he’d see his paper was marked wrong, and she’d say something like, “I guess I was so upset that you didn’t want a hug this morning I must have graded it wrong.” So he started giving in to the pressure because he was afraid for his grades.

Everyone kept telling him how he should feel lucky, so he eventually stopped complaining. She was eventually caught giving him a BJ at school, and she got fired. Even when everyone knew the whole story, I even remember some teachers talking about how that was what most high school guys dreamed of. It was sick.”

The post Men Share Their Own Traumatic #MeToo Stories appeared first on UberFacts.

A School Discovered Chalkboards from 1917 During a Renovation, and It Gives a Rare Look into the Past

Renovations can be fun and exciting for a number of reasons. There’s the obvious “you get to make something new again, just the way you like it” fun, but, oftentimes, unexpected surprises show up when people start tearing out walls and cabinets.

And that’s exactly what happened when Emerson High School went under the knife for a routine updating.

Workers on the Oklahoma City site were tearing out chalkboards in order to make room for modern Smart Boards when they stumbled on older chalkboards underneath the more recent ones. They stopped and looked closer, startled by the realization that they were actually much, much older – like, they were from 1917, old.

Not only that, but the 100-year-old boards had been covered up, lessons and all, with drawings from a century ago still bright and undisturbed.

The result is a pretty cool peek into what went on in classrooms in the middle of the 20th century.

The dates on the board range from late November to early December, and the majority of the illustrations seem to be teaching about the celebration of Thanksgiving, says English teacher Cinthea Comer.

“It was so eerie because the colors were so vibrant, it looked like it was drawn the same day. To know that it was drawn 100 years ago…it’s like you’re going into a looking glass into the past.”

Principal Sherry Kishore says that she loved getting a look at how much things have changed – like an outdated method for teaching multiplication – but also how other lessons have remained fundamentally the same.

They were surprised to find, however, a slightly different version of the Pledge of Allegiance, one that read “I give my head, my heart, and my life to my God and One nation indivisible with justice for all.”

Strange, especially considering that the Pledge, as it is said today, was established in 1892.

It also contains a lesson on hygiene, which is no longer taught in schools (though I’m sure some teachers wish that it was – especially in middle school!). The lesson came with a list of rules like “take my bath often” and “wash my teeth.”

Principal Kishore called the surprise the highlight of her career, and both she and the school district are working to ensure the boards are preserved for generations to come.

As nice as technology is, I don’t think a Smart Board could do that.

The post A School Discovered Chalkboards from 1917 During a Renovation, and It Gives a Rare Look into the Past appeared first on UberFacts.

Do You Recognize These 10 Celebs After They Used the FaceApp?

It’s pretty much impossible to avoid FaceApp right now. By now you’ve seen somebody who has used it to make them look a much older version of themselves.

And the results are impressive, if not a bit… nefarious? 150M people have now downloaded and used the app since it launched, but do they really know what they signed up for? Because FaceApp’s terms of service look like this…

You grant FaceApp a perpetual, irrevocable, nonexclusive, royalty-free, worldwide, fully-paid, transferable sub-licensable license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, publicly perform and display your User Content and any name, username or likeness provided in connection with your User Content in all media formats and channels now known or later developed, without compensation to you.

So yeah, just be careful.

Now on to the celebrities! I’m actually not going to name them, and some of them might be easy to spot at first. But we’ll see! Btw, the answers will be at the very bottom.

Good luck!

1. You used to call this guy on the telephone…

Photo Credit: Instagram

2. English crooner…

Photo Credit:Instagram

3. Bonafide legendary Warrior!

Photo Credit: Instagram

4. A former X-man… man!

Photo Credit: Instagram

5. Just look at his apron…

Photo Credit: Instagram

6. She’s always doing something!

Photo Credit: Instagram

7. Famous DJ alert!

Photo Credit: Instagram

8. Look! Washed up reality stars!

Photo Credit: Instagram

9. This guy is legit super!

Photo Credit: Instagram

10. He’s got the horses in his car…

Photo Credit: Instagram

ANSWERS: 1: Drake, 2: Sam Smith, 3: Steph Curry, 4: James Marsden, 5: Gordon Ramsey, 6: Busy Phillips, 7: Diplo, 8: JWow & Snooki, 9: Zachary Levi, 10: Little Nas X.

The post Do You Recognize These 10 Celebs After They Used the FaceApp? appeared first on UberFacts.