Later in life an Alzheimer stricken Ronald Reagan would rake leaves from his pool for hours, not realizing they were being replenished by his Secret Service agents.
Later in life an Alzheimer…
15+ Dads Who Totally Out-Dadded Themselves This Year
Dads are a whole other breed of human. I’m not sure if “Dad-ness” (which includes symptoms like lame jokes and wearing New Balance shoes) is something that all men just carry dormant within them, or if it’s a side-effect of having kids. Either way, it comes for all of us one day.
But that’s what makes Dads such wonderful (and funny) people.
And these dads are taking it to the next level.
1. Hahahaha
Photo Credit: Twitter
2. F-A-R-T
Photo Credit: Twitter
3. Meow
Photo Credit: Twitter
4. He needed that
Photo Credit: Twitter
5. He’s an expert now
Photo Credit: Twitter
6. Backup
Photo Credit: Twitter
7. Proud papa
Photo Credit: Twitter
8. We can get toast, too
Photo Credit: Twitter
9. Yes, you do
Photo Credit: Twitter
10. Which one are you again?
Photo Credit: Twitter
11. This is incredible
Photo Credit: Twitter
12. Solid move
Photo Credit: Twitter
13. Sorry, Dad
Photo Credit: Twitter
14. Noooooooooo
Photo Credit: Twitter
15. Sounds familiar
Photo Credit: Twitter
16. Why not?
Photo Credit: Twitter
17. Slang
Photo Credit: Twitter
18. He blew it
Photo Credit: Twitter
19. You’ve been lied to
Photo Credit: Twitter
20. Going way back
Photo Credit: Twitter
Let’s all tip our caps to the dads out there. They keep us entertained, if nothing else.
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This Family’s Christmas Card Gets Better and Better Every Year
When it comes to their annual Christmas card, the Stanley family from Charlotte, North Carolina has it all figured out.
For the past five years, Mom, Dad, two brothers, a new little sister (this year) have mailed out a hilarious and crazy Christmas card to friends and family.
Jonathan Stanley said, “The very first time we tried to take a “traditional” Christmas card photo we had hilariously bad results.” So why not do something different.
Photo Credit: Reddit
Jonathan added, “We were new parents with a one-year-old and everything went wrong – baby cried the whole time, it was windy, the lighting kept changing, you name it. If 2 of us looked okay, the third one blinked. We laughed so hard at how bad the photos were that we decided just to send them out as is and our family loved it. From there the tradition was born – instead of trying to send perfect cards, we would send something that represented the chaos of parenting.”
Scroll through the Stanleys’ cards and you’ll see the evolution of the family and the laughs.
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit
Can’t wait to see next year’s version.
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15+ People Who Were Actually Fooled by Fake News in 2018
Fake news is one of the saddest, most defining feature of our times. Sometimes, it’s just harmless fun, but it can easily turn into much worse.
We’re currently living in an alternate universe where up is down and black and white, so we might as well have some fun! Also, for some reason people have no idea what sarcasm is and what The Onion is all about.
And these examples of people falling for fake news are pretty damn funny.
1. How could anyone believe this?
Photo Credit: Twitter
2. S-U-N
Photo Credit: Twitter
3. May have a screw loose
Photo Credit: Twitter
4. Not realistic
Photo Credit: Twitter
5. I support this
Photo Credit: Twitter
6. Big mistake
Photo Credit: Twitter
7. “Scientists”
Photo Credit: Facebook
8. They’re all empty now
Photo Credit: Facebook
9. A lovely story
Photo Credit: Facebook
10. That’s not real
Photo Credit: Twitter
11. That is rude
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12. No sh*t
Photo Credit: Twitter
13. He does it all
Photo Credit: Facebook
14. Disgusted by this development
Photo Credit: Facebook
15. I think she’ll do great
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16. Just throw it in
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17. Really, really low
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18. Yay!
Photo Credit: Facebook
19. Very sad
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20. Vegan Simba
Photo Credit: Facebook
Sad!
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Pedialyte Is Officially Recognized as a Hangover Cure Now, So Stock Up
For years now, it’s been a relatively well-known secret within the partying crowd that Pedialyte can be used to combat their wicked hangovers. For years, adults trying recover from a long night out have had to pretend they’ve got a sick kid while buying Pedialyte, but now the company has officially jumped on the bandwagon.
The drinks are designed to replace fluids and electrolytes and prevent dehydration caused by vomiting, diarrhea, exercise, travel, and heat exhaustion (plus it tastes sweet and yummy, so your darling little one will actually drink it). And since those are basically also the symptoms of a nasty hangover, parents long ago figured out they could do double duty.
Well, the day has finally come, folks – you can now officially buy fizzy versions of the curative, clearly meant to get you back in the game after a long night.
Photo Credit: Pedialyte
The new product is called Sparkling Rush Powder and it comes in packages you dump into water and shake to combine. According to the website, they’re “a fizzy way to quickly replenish fluids and electrolytes lost to dehydration” and are “designed with an optimal balance of electrolytes and sugar.”
Whee! And since the powder gets fizzy, you can just pretend you’re still drinking with your friends instead of what you’re really doing: wondering how low you can turn the volume on Daniel Tiger before your kid loses interest.
Photo Credit: Pedialyte
Protip: It’s lower than you think, since their brand new ears are better than yours.
Photo Credit: Pedialyte
Just look at that packaging! Clearly not for children.
Right now, we’ve only found the packets online at Target or on Pedialyte’s website, but at $10.99 for six, they’re a pretty simple and reasonable way to maintain your sanity and get your body back to the mostly-crap shape it was in before you went out drinking.
Photo Credit: Pixabay
Thank you, Pedialyte. It’s about damn time.
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Children of Strict Parents Share the Ridiculous Rules They Had to Follow
Growing up in an Indian household, I know for a fact my parents were much more strict than a lot of my friends. That said when I read the stories below I thanked my lucky stars that my parents were still pretty reasonable.
AskReddit users ‘fessed up and revealed the ridiculous things their parents wouldn’t allow them to do. If you think your parents were hard on you…you might reconsider by the end.
1. SMH
“I was once grounded for a month, like, could go out to play with my friends, watch TV, play video games, or use the phone, because I said that I believed in evolution.
I had to admit that evolution wasn’t real, and I had to write “Evolution is not real.” 100 times.
We didn’t even go to church.”
2. No friends
“My dad wouldn’t let me leave the house on the weekends.
Guess who was upset that I didn’t have any friends?”
3. Homeschooled
“I was taken out of school and homeschooled. I wasn’t allowed to see my friends more than once every few months. So I would go weeks without seeing anybody except my parents and old church-people.
This was basically my entire time as a teenager.”
4. No entry
“My mom allowed me to invite friends over but they weren’t allowed in the house. One day it rained and we had to sit on the porch until my friend’s mom came to get her.”
5. Truly white
“I wasn’t allowed to wear white clothes, cuz I’d never be able to keep them “truly white”.
Also, drive. Everyone around me has a drivers license except for me. When asking my parents why they never taught me or sent me to driving lessons, they just said “oh, you’re not good enough to drive”. Without actually giving me a chance. Thanks mom and stepdad.”
6. Why bother inviting him?
“My dad told me (F18) to invite one of my male friends (M18) with us on vacation. The friend’s room was on the one side of the living room while mine was on the other. My dad proceeded to stack 5 chairs on the inside of my door so that he’ll hear if my FRIEND snuck into my room.”
7. Rough Childhood
“I wasn’t allowed to have friends at all. Wasn’t allowed to go outside to play except supervised in the yard. I had a pet snake, she was my only friend. One night she got out of her tank some how and my dad found her. She hissed at him, he killed her then he skinned her while I had to watch.
In high school I was allowed to go to someones house to play D&D with them. But it ended up being a ‘test’ that I failed resulting in a lot of screaming and punishment.
After HS, my father made me start college immediately, threatening to kick me out if I didn’t. Literally a week out of HS I was in college doing a degree I had zero interest in. I finished and tried to do a degree that I was interested in, I was berated, screamed at and manipulated into quitting. During HS I wasn’t allowed to work or get a driving license or get out in the world at all so I was 100% stupid about pretty much everything.
There are worse things… but I guess it turned out well enough.”
8. Grounded
“Was once grounded from the library because my parents were mad that they couldn’t punish me with isolation (go to my room? Yes, please!).”
9. Satanic Panic
“I wasn’t allowed to play Dungeons and Dragons any more, got my books and materials confiscated.
1980s Satanic Panic stuff.
It particularly sucked because we weren’t well off and I’d earned the money to buy the DM books without their help. Plus, losing those made friends’ investment in player manuals useless …”
10. Strict
“My parents were very strict about “gender appropriate activities” I’m a girl so any activity deemed to masculine was off limits. Things I was interested in but banned from doing:
Skateboarding, video games, reading comic books, playing Pokemon, certain movies and books, playing most sports, watching most sports… The list goes on.”
11. Don’t cheat
“I was once sent to my room for cheating at Battleship.
I had to stay on my bed for a few hours. My mother went to the store and left us kids alone. At some point, my sister got stuck in a tree. I left my room, helped her down, then returned to my bed. When Mom got home I told her, and got in trouble for leaving the room.”
12. Um…
“My parents had a eat it or wear it rule.
I distinctly remember hiding under the table while my mom threw spaghetti at me.”
13. Roald Dahl forbidden
“My mom raised us in a super Christian household but has relaxed as I grew up. When I was in elementary school she didn’t want me to watch James and the Giant Peach for some reason (oooOoohh evil).
We watched it in my third grade class and I was too shy to speak up. Then as the credits were rolling, I raised my hand and said, “Mrs. Norris, I am not allowed to watch that movie.” lol. my poor grade school self.”
14. The Big N
“I got an “N” in handwriting in 2nd grade (it stands for Needs Improvement).
They took my toys, books, posters, art supplies, everything, and put it in the closet and nailed the closet shut. They dumped my clothes in a pile on the floor and taped my dresser shut. I had to live in a completely barren room with nothing at all to do but lay on the bed and daydream and think about what I did until the next improved report card came out. It was a very long 6 weeks.
By high school they were so wrapped up in their own addictions and petty dramas that they entirely gave up the pretense of being strict parents raising smart successful children. They didn’t care if I went to school, got good grades, did homework, etc. I showed them by not graduating.”
15. No tattoos for you
“I understand why my mum does this but it’s still annoying, but she absolutely will not let me get a tattoo. I’m 18, I don’t need her permission and I’m really tempted to do it anyway cause I don’t care anymore, but she’s that parent who’s like “my house my rules” and threatens to kick me out if I get a tattoo (Which is a total lie but I want to leave anyway so I may just do it to get kicked out on purpose).”
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Brilliant Map of Indigenous Lands Shows Whose Property You’re Currently Occupying
Holidays like Thanksgiving and Columbus Day, along with the way we teach colonization of the Americas in general, have all come under scrutiny over the last few years, and not without reason — the true roles of indigenous peoples is almost entirely glossed over and watered down. One effort to amend that has been for some communities choosing to celebrate Indigenous People’s Day on October 8th instead of Columbus Day.
But there’s much more we can all do to educate ourselves and our children about the people who populated North America before European settlers arrived.
Enter this pretty cool use of Google Maps, created by a company called Native-Land. It shows you which Indigenous tribes resided in what parts of the country over the centuries.
Photo Credit: Native-Land.ca
But the maps include more than the Americas.
Hold onto your hats, Aussies and New Zealanders.
Photo Credit: Native-Land.ca
Canadian developer Victor G Temprano started the company in 2015 during a time of a lot of local development projects, according to the company’s website:
While mapping out pipeline projects and learning more about them for the sake of public awareness, I started to ask myself whose territories all these projects were happening on. Once I started finding the geographic data and mapping, well, it just kind of exploded from there.
Photo Credit: Native-Land.ca
Controversial development projects like the Trans Mountain and Dakota Access pipelines not only helped him to be more culturally aware, it made him wonder where else modernization might be infringing on native lands.
He continues to explain on the site:
I feel that Western maps of Indigenous nations are very often inherently colonial, in that they delegate power according to imposed borders that don’t really exist in many nations throughout history. They were rarely created in good faith, and are often used in wrong ways.
Photo Credit: Native-Land.ca
The maps are not part of any academic project and feature input from users that causes them to change constantly, but Temprano did recently announce that he’s hired a research assistant to ensure all of the information is as accurate and complete as possible.
It’s a great site to visit with your kids around the holidays or anytime you want to discuss cultural appropriation and western civilization.
As one does.
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10+ People Share the One Thing They’re Glad They’ll Never, Ever Have to Do Again
For me, the answer would definitely be “moving my in-laws out of state.” Now, some of you might think that sounds like a pretty desirable thing but, A) I actually really love my in-laws, and B) they are terrible at packing. Between those two things, having to literally pack, clean, and move their entire lifetime’s worth of belongings was… rough, to say the least.
Everyone has their own thing (or things) they loathe doing so much they’ll never acquiesce to doing it again. But you may not have considered the 15 below.
#1. I’ll never look back
“Being addicted to heroin and being homeless. I’m 2 years clean with a family of my own and a place to call home. I left that life and I’ll never look back.”
#2. Sh*t
“I used to work in this absolute shit medical job. It was the absolute worst because there wasn’t a single good thing about it. The people I worked with were shit, the people I interacted with were shit. You could go into that place at 5am happy as can be and leave the place after 6 failed bathroom noose’ings just to try again the next day.
When I put in my 2 weeks those feelings amped up to 11. It was like everyone who was shit the entire time I was there decided it wasn’t enough and leaned into it. Like you got a heaven pass to leave hell and all the demons were pissed that you’re getting out and they have to stay behind so they claw at you the whole way out in hopes that you die before you leave.
Fuck hospitals, man.”
#3. Two weeks in a call center
“I worked for two weeks in a call center and the entire time I spent staring at my desk. I did this for ten hours a day because the company president was out of the office and they refused to get me setup with a password or let me browse the web etc etc.
After two weeks, I came back the following Monday, started my day and then with nothing changing, I just walked out of the building and went home. My car was broken down at the time, so it took several hours to get home.
Glad that is over and done with. No way I’ll ever work in another call center.”
#4. But damn
“Serving as a nuclear reactor operator in the U.S. Navy.
Cool job. Gave me lots of opportunities. But damn.”
#5. Burning pain
“The absolutly horrific burning pain of a urinary tract infection.”
#6. The real heroes
“Night shifts. To you out there doing it now, you’re the real heroes of the night.”
#7. PTSD
“I worked as a nurse for a psych hospital with no fucking security. I got PTSD from all he fights i had to get into. I’m still a psych nurse, but it’s much better.”
#8. Word
“Divorce”
#9. A done dissertation
“My dissertation. I would never want to do that again. The only good dissertation is a done dissertation”
#10. Here’s hoping
“Hubby went through chemo. Said if cancer happens again, he wouldn’t do chemo or fight it. But then he remembered he had kids, and was on the fence.
Here’s to hoping you don’t go through it again.”
#11. Sucking the energy from my soul
“Working in a restaurant. I spent ten years of my life in that business both serving and managing. Fives years and 40k in debt later, I finally just started my new career. No offense to anyone that works in the industry or truly loves it, but I came to despise the hospitality business. I could feel it sucking the energy from my soul..
Edit: For everyone asking, my 40k in debt is from tuition costs after earning my engineering degree, not from working in restaurants. It’s the best money I have ever spent.”
#12. Never again
“I carry a Taser for work. In order to pass certification, I had to take an exposure (get Tasered).
Never again.”
#13. Soul crushing
“I did ten years in a grocery store. It was soul crushing. I remember on my last day standing by the time clock with the people clocking in. When I clocked out for the last time I told them all I did not work there anymore and said my goodbyes. It was such a good feeling going to my car and driving away knowing I never had to go back.
Edit: For the people asking if I ever went back to shop there I did not. I live in a major city and the store was on the other side of the city. I go a store closer to my house. I got a civil service job and sometimes came by when I was on duty. I did work there ten years and I spent ten years working with some of the same people. I did keep in touch with a lot of people for a number of years after I worked there and it was nice just to stop by and talk with them again.
I worked there to pay for my college degrees and the pay and benefits were good and it was a flexible schedule.”
Here’s to moving on.
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15 Things We Are Definitely NOT in ‘The Golden Age’ Of
When historians look back at this era, how will they define it? Most likely not by reason or thought. Am I the only one who feels like we’re trapped in an age of stupidity?
AskReddit users went on the record and revealed what we are NOT in ‘The Golden Age’ of.
1. Very true
“Boxing.”
2. No common ground
“Water cooler talk at work. Ten years ago if I saw something incredible I would talk to people about it at work the next day, now nobody watches the same thing so those conversations don’t happen.”
3. Fall of the mall
“Shopping Malls, they are super dead and getting a little deader every day.”
4. Tragedy
“Fishing.
We’ve killed so many fish it’s a f*cking tragedy. By some estimates we’ve killed 90% of the world’s shark population alone. Reading old books and running into offhand comments about fishing is depressing as hell.
I love seafood, but we need like a decade-long commercial fishing hiatus followed by much stricter limits and better regulations. There are a bunch of really dumb rules right now; bycatch is wasted, for example. Let’s get by on sport-caught and farmed seafood for a while and let the fishes come back.
Fishing now is nothing whatever like it was even fifty years ago. A century ago it was like another planet. And this is coming from a kiteboarder, somebody to whom sharks are a genuine threat.”
5. Muscle men
“Bodybuilding. Go look at the recent Mr. Olympia winners and compare that to the days of Schwarzenegger. Night and day.”
6. Damn shoelaces
“Shoe fastenings. We’re still using primitive shoelaces just like all of those grim people in the earliest photographs, standing there in their tall uncomfortable black boots, out in the barnyard next to the well, with the tethered mule standing dumbly by the family, all of whom look angry or like they want to die instead of face yet another brutal day trying to wrestle their sustenance out of the unforgiving ground.
The well is gone, the mule is gone, even the barnyard is gone, and we sit in our shiny air-conditioned towers talking to each other across a networked world swarmed with satellites, yet still we wear those same laces.
We tried in the 80s with Velcro; every kid had a pair, or at least some hybrid hi-tops. But Big Shoelace crushed it behind the scenes, relegating it to the shoes of wriggling infants and arthritic seniors in the painful twilight of their mobility.
So here we are still enslaved, still tethered to Big Shoelace, suckling at its teat as the only means of sustenance within the radius allowed us. We are the mules now. We will never escape. We will never escape. Congress has a golden shoelace around its neck and we will never escape. Perhaps it’s a golden age after all, just not for the many.”
7. Long gone neon
“Neon signs
Ok, people are saying that “hey, you’ve clearly never been to X, there’s a ton there!” While you’re right, I’ve never been to Austin or Vegas, that doesn’t mean that we’re still in the golden age. There’s a great documentary that was actually on the Reddit front page about the industry dying in Asia (I believe it’s been linked to in this thread multiple times). There are a lot out in the world, but there’s almost no new ones being made, and not like they used to be. I would say the golden age for neon was in the 80s. LEDs are the future and that’s kinda sad.”
8. We need an upgrade
“Toilets. Either make them all flush automatically or make them where you have to push the handle down.
If it’s one of those automatic ones, please make it smart enough to not flush while I’m just sitting down or mid poop. I like to wipe down the toilet seat before I sit on it and throw that toilet paper in the water to avoid any splash backs . Half the time it doesn’t work because the toilet will just flush before I even sit down.
And fix the bathroom stalls. No one should be able to make eye contact with me through the crack of the door as they walk in and I’m in the stall talking a poop.”
9. Any Brits care to weigh in?
“The British Empire.”
10. Is it in the past or the future?
“Space Exploration.”
11. A lot of people are sorry
“The Halo franchise. Sorry
“
12. Interesting take
“Alchemy!”
13. On the decline
“Kmart!”
14. Not a bad thing
“Small pox.”
15. What’s gonna happen?
“Gene manipulation.
CRISPR is at its infancy, and won’t reach its full potential for a few decades I’m guessing. Who knows what could happen when we reach that point?”
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10+ People Discuss the Myths That People Really Need to Stop Believing
We’ve all grown up with some kind of old wives tales or family superstitions and these AskReddit users shared the ones they want to be exposed as LIES.
1. Still…don’t do it
“The fact that chocolate is insta-death for dogs.
I still wouldn’t recommend feeding your dog chocolate, but if your dog licks something chocolate it’s very unlikely to die. It’s more often than you’d probably expect that I’m hanging with someone and they freak out over their dog getting a small bit of chocolate. It’s obnoxious and unnecessary.”
2. Beware
“Using a phone while your car is being fueled doesn’t cause an explosion.”
3. Not a believer
“The the relative alignment of stars that are lightyears away from Earth have anything to do with someone’s personality.”
4. Might be true for a lot of people
“You only use 10% of your brain”
Then again if you believe in that myth, you actually might only be using 10%.”
5. Not true
“That when a snake stretches out its body near a human or animal it means it is “sizing up its prey”. This is a complete myth with no basis in reality, snakes are ambush predators and if they had to stretch out to size up prey they’d never get a meal and would risk being injured by its prey.”
6. My bad
“That wrong=stupid. I feel like a lot of the issues with the world today is that no one wants to be wrong, making them look stupid. Being wrong is how you learn, and no one will belittle you if you say “whoops, I was wrong. My bad.” “
7. Don’t do that
“Just saw this on here the other day and nearly stroked over it:
DO NOT PUT BUTTER ON SKIN BURNS.
If you do, you’re gonna have a bad time.”
8. Weed talk
“That weed has no negative consequences around it and can’t possibly cause any harm whatsoever.
BTW I’m all for legalization but weed worshippers tend to spout off nonsense about it.”
9. Charging
“To discharge electronics completely before recharging.
This is only true for the older nickel style batteries, but almost everything produced today has lithium-ion batteries. A lithium battery’s ability to hold a charge DECREASES the more times it’s charged and discharged.
The best case scenario to keep your phone’s battery in good shape is to charge that MF’er as much as humanly possible, not to let it die on you.”
10. Lie!
“SHAVING DOES’T MAKE HAIR GROW THICKER.”
11. I hope not
“Cracking knuckles is bad for you.”
12. Autism
“Being autistic, I have a few myths regarding autism I’d like to clear up:
Vaccines don’t cause autism. No-one knows for certain what autism is caused by, but vaccines aren’t one of them. The signs of autism simply occur at the same age when most kids get their vaccines.
You might as well say that autism is caused by potty-training.
Not every autistic person is like Rain Man or Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. Autism has a lot of common traits (stimming, lack of social awareness,hyper-fixations, hypersensitivity, etc), which manifest differently from person to person. Some exhibit a few very obvious traits, others have several minor traits. It’s like a big buffet where everyone takes different numbers and amounts of the same group of food.Even if you give an autistic person your firstborn, they can’t spin straw into gold for you. Autistic people can only spin straw into copper. Not as valuable, but much more versatile in industrial applications.”
13. Cinco de Mayo
“Cinco de Mayo is NOT “Independence Day” for the country of Mexico.
It is actually the celebration of the victory of the Mexican Army over the French in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.”
14. A lot of people believe this
“That you have to wait 24 hours before filing a missing person report. Do not do this! If somebody has gone missing, report it as soon as you realize so that action can be taken immediately and the person can be found before it is too late.”
15. Myth
“Nobody is putting drugs into Halloween candy.”
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