10+ Totally Accurate Jokes About Target

I know it, you know it, we all know it…Target is the best.

So let’s enjoy some funny jokes about our favorite store, shall we?

1. Mom knows best

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. About to get schooled

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3. Make it rain

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. This is real life

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5. Can’t stop, won’t stop

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6. Out of body experience

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7. That’s a good feeling

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8. Can’t just buy one thing. Ever.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

9. Jackpot!

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. Discounts

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11. Ain’t that the truth

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12. Try out the product

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13. Couldn’t resist

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14. It’s just like wizardry

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Happy shopping!

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These 15+ Random Things Are 100% True

I come bearing truth!

Honestly, these things should probably be considered facts because there is no way you can dispute their truth.

1. Always tired

2. I agree!

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. We can all relate

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4. “It’s a really easy password”

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5. Powerful

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6. “Oh I like this one”

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7. That’s true

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8. A vicious cycle

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9. Yes!

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10. Change up your look

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11. You need order

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12. It sure is

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13. I can

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14. This is your 20s

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15. There’s a lot of stuff down there

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16. Cousins are strange…

Photo Credit: Twitter

I bet you feel a little more enlightened now. You’re welcome.

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These 18+ Designers Should Consider a Career Change

Let these people be examples of what NOT to do if you want to have a career in design.

Yikes…

1. Didn’t think that one through

Photo Credit: Imgur

2. At least it’s only a buck

Photo Credit: Imgur

3. Please don’t drink that

Photo Credit: Imgur

4. Looks safe

Photo Credit: Imgur

5. Bike friendly city

Photo Credit: Imgur

6. Just add milk

Photo Credit: Imgur

7. Try not to get those two confused

Photo Credit: Imgur

8. Don’t go outside

Photo Credit: Imgur

9. What are those supposed to be?

Photo Credit: Imgur

10. He’s a pro!

Photo Credit: Imgur

11. Smoking First

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12. Almost there

Photo Credit: Reddit

13. Looks like Sloth from The Goonies

Photo Credit: Imgur

14. Which floor again?

Photo Credit: Reddit

15. Make some new friends

Photo Credit: Reddit

16. I’m confused

Photo Credit: Reddit

17. Not a good color (or design) choice

Photo Credit: Reddit

18. Yikes

Photo Credit: Imgur

19. Then what are they?!?

Photo Credit: Reddit

20. Yummy!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Time to update the old resume…

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We Want to Be Friend With These 15+ Hilarious Drunks

Everyone knows the best kind of drunks are fun drunks…and the ones on this list definitely look like fun!

After reading this, you’ll want to become friends with these ladies and gentlemen.

1. I like this one

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. Not sure if that’s English, but okay

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. Granny partyin’

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. Whatever works

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. That’s not your clock, buddy

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. That’s brave

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. Drama’s fun if it doesn’t involve you

Photo Credit: Twitter

8. It’s a nightly occurrence

Photo Credit: Twitter

9. A nice one

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. I’m right next to you

Photo Credit: Twitter

11. Looks like a good time

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. A real keeper

Photo Credit: Twitter

13. Genius move

Photo Credit: Twitter

14. LOL

Photo Credit: Twitter

15. This sounds like a blast

Photo Credit: Twitter

16. Split personality

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Now I have to track these people down on Facebook so I can befriend them.

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These 12 People Seriously Need to Get a Clue

Believe it or not, the people on this list really exist.

As if the world wasn’t weird enough as is, it seems to be getting weirder each day…

1. She needs a remedy

Photo Credit: Reddit

2. Evolution

Photo Credit: Facebook

3. Wrong flag

Photo Credit: Reddit

4. Interesting life choice

Photo Credit: Reddit

5. Surprise!

Photo Credit: Reddit

6. It works! (It doesn’t).

Photo Credit: Reddit

7. Oh no, not one of those

Photo Credit: Reddit

8. Truth bomb

Photo Credit: Facebook

9. Weed made him do it

Photo Credit: Facebook

10. History lesson

Photo Credit: Facebook

11. I don’t think that’s correct

Photo Credit: Facebook

12. Wrong

Photo Credit: Facebook

See what I’m talking about?

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20 Funny Tweets Just For Dads

Dads, this article is specifically for all of you.

You need a break from raising those little angels, so take it now and smile from ear to ear.

1.

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20 Tweets That Will Make You Laugh, Or You Have No Soul

If for some reason you don’t laugh at these 20 tweets, I want you to visit your local physician and have him take a look at your funny bone. Because these tweets are FUNNY, with a capital F.

Understood?

1. I really hope that’s not true

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. Inspiration

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. Oh f*ck

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. I agree 100%

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. Going above and beyond

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Watch what you say

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. Hey-o!

Photo Credit: Twitter

8. I’ll watch it

Photo Credit: Twitter

9. We’ve come a long way…sort of

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. Blockbuster

Photo Credit: Twitter

11. Talkin’ trash

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. I can’t wait to read this essay

Photo Credit: Twitter

13. Uh oh

Photo Credit: Twitter

14. Nice guys

Photo Credit: Twitter

15. Hidin’ out

Photo Credit: Twitter

16. Sounds fascinating

Photo Credit: Twitter

17. Yeeeeeaaaahhhh

Photo Credit: Twitter

18. Trade off

Photo Credit: Twitter

19. Time to break the bad news

Photo Credit: Twitter

20. Impressive

Photo Credit: Twitter

You laughed, didn’t you?

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15+ Memes for the Junk Food Lover

Man, do I love me some fast food and junk food every now and then.

Here are 20 memes for all my fellow junk food lovers out there.

1. Losers…

Photo Credit: someecards

2. Yep

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3. Same page, cat buddy

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4. Cause it’s awesome?

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5. That’s the luckiest dog I’ve ever seen

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6. I jogged a lot today…

Photo Credit: someecards

7. Eh, just do it.

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8. Separate dessert stomach

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9. Really, pizza is just a tomato salad with croutons beneath and cheese on top

Photo Credit: someecards

10. Square pizza ≠ good

Photo Credit: someecards

11. At least I have fries

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12. Sneaky clever

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13. We’ve all been here

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14. A solid attitude towards life

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15. Pure bliss

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16. They’re amazed, you’re amazing

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17. Smell that salty air

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18. In costume, too

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19. Miracle of miracles!

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20. We all need dat

Photo Credit: someecards

I think a trip to the local White Castle is now in order.

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15 People Share the Riskiest Moment of Their Life

I’ve done some pretty stupid stuff in my life and luckily I still have all my limbs and nothing too bad ever happened.

It’s nice to know I’m not alone in making some dumb decisions in my past. AskReddit users open up and share the biggest risks they’ve ever taken.

1. Quicksand

“As a kid me and some friends built a ‘bridge’ out of hay and wood across a dried out bog. I tested it and fell through somewhere in the middle. Thankfully I’d read in a book that if you’re being sucked down by quicksand or something, the best thing to do is relax and spread your weight out evenly. That kept my head and arms above the muck until one of my friends could find a tree branch to haul me out.

Every time someone posts one of those ‘quicksand wasn’t as big an issue as I thought it would be’ memes I’m like… hm.”

2. Probably won’t do that again

“I was ten riding the DC Metro for the first time by myself when I dropped my keys on the track. Two minutes till the next train vs 5 seconds to get my keys from the track so I jumped down.

It’s harder than you think to get back on those platforms.”

3. Never a good idea

“Farting silently during a job interview.”

4. Hero

“I am a rugby player and was a bank teller in 2009. I’ll never forget the date: 09/10/2009.

A group of 5-6 burglars stole $47K from an ATM I was doing some maintenance. When they ran out of the branch, everyone of them but one went to the right; the dipshit who went left was carrying the money bag, and my rugby instincts instinctly kicked in: I ran after him for half a block and tackled him from behind.

The look of despair in his eyes when he saw a crazy teller it’s one of the memories I’ll never forget. We tried to punch each other, with no success. When he realized I wasn’t letting him go away with the cash, he threw the bag in the middle of the avenue and ran away.

The whole action lasted about 60 seconds, I believe. Afterwards, I couldn’t stop thinking “what if?”: what if he had a gun? What if he had someone waiting him in the direction he went?

My mother wanted to kill me, but I got promoted. Good times.”

5. Dead tired

“Near the end of a 68 hour week, I was dead tired and just wanted to go home. I had three tons suspended in the air by a shop crane and I left the remote on the other side of the load. Instead of walking around it, I walked right under it and grabbed the remote. I froze for a moment and contemplated what I just did. Put the load down, clocked off and went to sleep thinking about how much of an idiot I am.”

6. Just like a horror movie

“I hitchhiked across a province, and at nightfall after getting soaked during a downfall (people tend not to pick you up during the rain), I was exhausted and so defeated, and so I accepted a complete stranger’s offer to go to his cabin in the woods for the night.”

7. Stranger danger

“Stayed with a stranger whom I just met after a concert when I had nowhere to stay that night. Wasn’t sexual, he didn’t try anything or insinuate that I owed him anything – just a nice bloke offering the spare bed in his hotel room.”

8. Plastered in the ‘hood

“Went with some friends to a party. We drove there, and unfortunately everyone (including myself) got plastered. The party was in a bad neighborhood in the Bronx and I insisted that we chip in for a cab because driving drunk would be stupid.

I was called a pussy, and idiot, moron, then told if I don’t like it I can walk home. F*ck that I know my life is worth it so I just headed off towards the Grand Concourse (this was back in the 80’s, bad times then).

Walked about 15 blocks avoiding groups of people (especially the ones shouting at me), got tailed for a bit by a group of older guys and made a mad dash for the subway. It was 1 am, the station was empty and it took me 2 hours to get home.

Next day I get a call from one of my friend’s parents, they were upset with me for letting them drive home (they got into a fender bender with a cop car (yea karma)).

I laughed when she told me what happened, then explained that I was the one that was put down and told to walk home if I didn’t like it, they wouldn’t take a cab. She apologized and I made sure that every one of those asshats weren’t part of my life anymore.”

9. Don’t do it

“I drove home with a drunk friend who was taking shots before we left the bar. I was 21 and stupid. On the way home instead of taking the turn we went into a ditch and stopped 2 feet short of a telephone pole. We were fine but it definitely was a wake up call.”

10. Random pills

“Picked up a cap of what I presumed was molly at a party off the floor and popped it.

Good party. Decent high. Can’t believe how stupid I was.”

11. Car surfing

“When I was in high school some guys were “car surfing” in the parking lot and one almost died. The two cars collided, which sent him flying off the roof. His top half went through the windshield while his bottom half was nearly smashed between the cars.

Needless to say, they both got in enormous amounts of trouble.”

12. Still pretty lucky

“Flew off, head first into the curb. Induced coma for about two weeks. When I woke up, I was insane. They hand cuffed me to the bed because I kept trying to run away. Seeing as I was completely paralyzed on one side, that wasn’t safe. Month in the rehab hospital once I was medically out of the woods. Learning to walk, talk again. How to use my fingers.

This was at age 15.

Vision problems for a few months after that. Nothing had the “outline” around it, if that makes any sense. Things just kind of bled into each other.

Couldn’t remember words. Developed a weird tick where I would tap my fingers together when talking, as if trying to grab the word. Still happens sometimes.

Persistent bouts of “cloudy head.” I can’t describe them. They’re just “bad head days.” Still struggle with impulse control and temper.

The seizures started four years later. Lots of different meds and a couple wrecked cars later, we found something that worked. The wrecks weren’t seizure related, but the lack of sleep probably was.

The migraines just started this February, at age 37. Debilitating dizziness and sound sensitivity. Can’t think. Can’t sleep. Neurologist thought they were seizures but later decided on migraines. New meds and a chiropractor are helping, but some days are still hella rough.

But all the docs thought I wouldn’t live and if I did I would be requiring 24/7 care, so I still got pretty lucky.”

13. Shortcut

“Driving through a military base closed to the public in hopes of arriving at my destination faster.”

14. A bad idea

“Mixing heroin and Xanax, don’t do that kids, that’s how you die.”

15. That was nice?

“Sitting on the trunk of a car. “Just drive slow and I’ll hop off at my house.”

They did not drive slowly. I got to be in a coma though, so that was nice.”

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