15 Strange and Funny Things People Believed About Movies When They Were Kids

To a kid, movies are oure magic. So much so, that sometimes it’s tough for them to differentiate from what they’re seeing on the screen and real life. Buzzfeed asked their community what funny/weird/bizarre things they believed about movies when they were young.

These are some doozies.

1. “When I first watched Tangled I actually thought that if you cut your hair it would turn a different color. I was convinced that my brown hair would turn black.”

2. “When people died in movies, I thought they died in real life. I remember watching a war movie and being impressed by the dedication of the actors who were dying.”

3. “Nic Cage had me fooled with the National Treasure movies. My teachers would play them during class, so I thought they legit happened and were based on true stories.”

4. “When I saw The Princess Diaries I was so impressed with how well Mia’s makeover went, because I assumed Anne Hathaway was naturally the ‘before’ picture and the filmmakers just got lucky that she cleaned up well.”

5. “Because of Toy Story, I used to think that my dolls, stuffed animals, and toys could move whenever I wasn’t looking.”

Photo Credit: Disney

6. “I used to think that people could hang out with cartoons in real life, like they did in Space Jam and Mary Poppins.”

7. “I thought that whenever you watched a movie, the actors were performing live. I felt bad about watching a movie more than once because I thought I was overworking the actors.”

Photo Credit: Paramount Pictures

8. “When movies had flashbacks to when a character was a kid, I thought they filmed everything when the actor was actually that age and then had to wait until they got older to finish filming.”

9. “I used to think that whenever I put a movie into the VCR, it somehow signaled the actors to get ready and perform the movie live.”

10. “As a kid I confused Mount Richmore from Richie Rich with the actual Mount Rushmore. When my parents told me otherwise, I was still certain that the presidents on Mount Rushmore were carved by lasers.”

11. “I used to think movies had to be made in the decade they took place in, so My Girl and Dazed and Confused had to be filmed in the ’70s.”

12. “For the longest time, I thought the actress who played Selena’s killer in the movie Selena was the one who killed her in real life, so I hated that actress for so long and wondered why she wasn’t in prison.”

13. “When I was a kid I thought that when actors kissed each other they had to have plastic wrap on their lips so their lips didn’t actually touch and it’d be sanitary.”

Photo Credit: Focus Features

14. “I used to think the bears in The Country Bears were real, and I was completely shocked when I realized that talking/musical bears weren’t a thing.”

15. “When I was little I thought that if two people got married in a movie, they immediately became married in real life.”

Photo Credit: Universal Pictures

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August 7, 2018

These 12 Signs Are so Bad We Can’t Help but Laugh

These 12 signs are absolutely hilarious. Unless you’re the person who made them, in which case you probably don’t find them as funny as we do.

So laugh away with your head in your hands.

#12. Ummmm.

Photo Credit: Reddit

#11. That seems generous.

Photo Credit: Reddit

#10.McDonald’s ice, or a bag of mice? You decide.

Photo Credit: Reddit

#9. I can’t even figure this out, honestly.

Photo Credit: Reddit

#8. Yeah, she does.

Photo Credit: Reddit

#7. There’s something off about that funnel cake…

Photo Credit: Reddit

#6. I feel strangely attacked.

Photo Credit: Reddit

#5. It’s hard to find experienced sandwiches.

Photo Credit: Reddit

#4. Something seems off, but I can’t quite put it into words.

Photo Credit: Reddit

#3. The pole placement really makes it.

Photo Credit: Reddit

#2. I laughed so hard.

Photo Credit: Reddit

#1. No comment necessary.

Photo Credit: Reddit

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August 7, 2018

Forty years ago, a prominent designer…

Forty years ago, a prominent designer received a call from an undergrad architecture student who told him that a design flaw in his 59-story Manhattan skyscraper could cause it to collapse during a storm. Initially he scoffed, then disturbingly, figured that she was right. 00

August 7, 2018

How to Get Your Mosquito Bites to Finally Stop Itching

Mosquitoes are the worst, huh? I can pretty much get behind every insect, animal, and living creature that walks this earth, except mosquitoes. Not to mention the fact that they spread disease, including ones that can be pretty scary if you’re at risk or pregnant.

The process they use to extract your blood (to make other bloodsuckers, blech), is pretty gross, btw: the mosquito injects saliva to numb the area, then that same saliva expands your blood vessel and prevents it from clotting while the little bugger feeds.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

The itch, it turns out, is a reaction the histamines in your own body produce in response to the saliva and not anything the mosquito leaves behind – it’s an immune response, essentially.

Sure, you can try sprays and candles and essential oils, but chances are, a couple enterprising pests are going to find your bloodstream and leave with a full belly – so, what’s the best way for you to cope with the fallout?

First off, here are some common tricks that definitely do not work:

Photo Credit: Pixabay

A hot bath: heating up your skin makes it itchier, so just say no.

Alcohol (the kind you rub, not the kind you drink): it will dry out your skin and bring on more itching.

Honey: it is a good antibacterial, but it doesn’t have any proven effects on immune response.

Here are some that could work…

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Lemon (or other plant-based oils): there is some research that says lemon or lemon juice could work, but as far as other plant-based materials, make sure you’re not going to have an allergic reaction and make the initial response worse.

A cold compress: Cold will reduce swelling andblood floww, so it could temporarily relieve the itch and puffiness associated with a fresh bite.

But the best option? A steroid cream.

Photo Credit: Amazon

A simple cortisone cream will constrict the blood vessels and reduce the inflammation that’s causing the itchiness – something essential oils can’t do, and something cold can only do temporarily – and they’re easy enough to find at your local drug store.

You’re all set – go forth and enjoy the rest of your summer!

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August 7, 2018

Anxiety Might Be an Inherited Condition, According to Science

If you suffer from anxiety, you’re probably not the only person in your family who has. Scientists and doctors have long been aware of that fact, but new research shows that is might be directly passed down from generation to generation. In other words, if you have anxiety, your parents might be the cause.

Photo Credit: Unsplash,Xavier Sotomayor

The new study comes from the University of Wisconsin and focused on the heritability of anxiety and which parts of the brain are involved. The researchers conducted anxiety-inducing experiments on 378 rhesus monkeys and monitored their brain activity.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

The results showed increased activity in two parts of the amygdala, where the brain processes fear and anxiety, in the monkeys who expressed the most anxiety. The scientists then looked at those monkeys’ lineage and discovered that their ancestors going back eight generations also elicited the same type of brain response. This led the researchers to determine that the anxiety may have been inherited.

Photo Credit: Unsplash,Niklas Hamann

The researchers believe that their study could eventually help with treatment for children who suffer from extreme anxious temperament (AT), which often leads to anxiety disorders later in life.

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August 7, 2018

The 15 Pettiest Reasons People Have Boycotted Something

Boycotting may not have a huge impact on a business, but when they’ve made you angry, it sure does feel good to announce that you’ll never use them again. Has a business ever done anything that made you want to boycott like these people did?

These folks on AskReddit definitely felt that, and they shared their stories for all of us to enjoy.

1. That’ll show ’em

“I boycott a local restaurant because the guy in their car cut me off real bad and flipped me off.”

2. Uh oh

“Every day for a few years in high school and college, I used to read a particular website that published syndicated op-eds.

One day I got there to see they had “modernized” their layout and I didn’t care for it, so I never went back. It’s probably been 12 years.”

3. F*ck you

“I’ll never shop at a Big Y supermarket because one was built where this nice meadow used to be when I lived in Connecticut. I liked that meadow, Big Y. F*ck you.”

4. .36 cents…

“My dad has had a long standing boycott of Exxon gas stations since the 80’s because apparently they used to not give out change for cash purchases after 4pm (idk why) and the cashier refused to give my dad change at 4:01 pm after he had waited in line for 5 minutes. He has literally not gone to an Exxon station since then unless it’s an emergency and has actually planned out fuel stops on road trips to avoid Exxon….whole new level of petty.

Edit: In case you’re wondering, the total amount of change that my dad was owed totaled $0.36.”

5. Pushy

“Geico. I requested an online quote from them in March of this year and the next day one of their local offices called me 3 times a day for 2 weeks straight. I even answered the phone twice and told them to stop calling me. The voicemail the woman would leave me when I didnt answer sounded a lot like a collection agent. Like she was doing me a favor by calling me and that I MUST call them right away to start my insurance with them. She was extremely pushy.

I had to leave a negative Yelp and Facebook review to get it to stop. They finally sent me a message saying they would stop calling me and then they contacted Yelp and Facebook to dispute my reviews. Two weeks ago I got an e-mail from Yelp saying they were removing my review as the owner proved that my review didn’t have anything do do with their location. I put it back up with a screenshot of my missed call logs showing their phone number calling me over and over again.”

6. That never works

“Hyundai because they offered a $40 gift card if you test drive one of their new vehicles. I took the test drive, and dealt with the endless stream of spam and phone calls. Gift card never arrived.”

7. Harsh

“I won’t go to the deli by my parent’s house anymore because I once bought a stale Rice Krispie treat from them.”

8. Never went back

“I boycotted a fast food restaurant because I stood at the register waiting to order for about a minute and two workers were casually talking, another was on her phone. They knew I was there, so I turned around and walked out. Never went back there.”

9. That is pretty annoying

“I will never in my life even consider buying a Nissan because of their 30 second unskippable ads on youtube.”

10. Bad customer service

“I went to get a haircut at a place I’d never gone to before. I sat down and the lady said “what happened to your eyebrows? You have a fireworks accident”. I got up and walked out and never went there again.”

11. That’s commitment

“I’ve boycotted a gas station for 30 years because I didn’t like the jingle in their ad.”

12. This might be the winner

“I’ve boycotted an incredibly popular local Italian restaurant because it is my best friend’s ex girlfriend’s favorite place to eat and she cheated on him.”

13. Mickey D’s

“I didn’t eat at McDonald’s for a long time because they made a huge deal about all day breakfast and I’m like, but what about the people who want fries at 9 am? Do we not matter?”

14. Cross these off the list

“Annoying Spotify Ads. So far I know for a fact I’ll never spend money on:

5 Hour Energy

Febreeze Car Clips

TGI Fridays

NAPA auto parts

For the time being I have very cheap premium because I was a student, but once that runs out I’m sure there will be other companies that make this list.”

15. Your dad was the cause

“My dad ordered a thin crust pizza from a local delivery joint, they sent a regular crust and refused to fix it. Never ordered from there again. Ten years later they closed their doors forever, I can only assume because of his steadfastness and commitment.”

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August 7, 2018

Women Share the Best, Non-Creepy Way for Men to Approach Them

All the men out there need to listen and listen good!

This advice from AskReddit is coming STRAIGHT FROM THE LADIES, so you know it’s legit.

So if you want to meet some women (and have them respond positively), read on and pay attention.

1. A few good pointers

“Approach her in a place where she won’t feel like she’s being cornered. Other people around, casual setting, etc. An empty train car probably isn’t your best bet.

Be friendly and engage in at least minimal small talk before asking her out, for her number, etc. Literally asking 2 seconds into the conversation can be weird, because even if we know your intent right away, you haven’t given us any time to feel out the situation and feel comfortable.

Don’t be demanding. Just ask if she is interested, and do not be forceful about it if she rejects you.

Go in understanding that some women don’t like being approached by strangers, period. You might be good looking, funny, and friendly and she still might be uncomfortable or uninterested

I know this is hard to execute in practice, but just don’t be too weird about it. Don’t treat her like a foreign species or a piece of meat, just like a normal person.”

2. Timing

“Wait until you’re in a place where it’s appropriate. Bar, coffee shop if she doesn’t have headphones in or is reading. Ask if you can join her. Talk about something interesting.”

3. Take a hint

“If this is someone you see regularly, smile. If she returns the smile, say hi.

Let the conversation flow.

Do take a hint if she’s not interested.”

4. Short and sweet

“Whether she is someone you see frequently or not I suggest being short and sweet. Obviously get to know her a little so you’re not complete strangers, but you should give that no more than 5-10 min and leave it off with asking for her number and then proceed to text her the next day and ask her out if you still want to. Don’t ask her anything super personal but find out what she likes to do around town and use that as a way to help you ask her out.

From my experience, I get so annoyed when a guy just wont leave and basically turns our first time we meet into a date, so definitely don’t overstay your welcome.”

5. Body language

“Every person is different and can’t be approached the same way, but the one thing across the board is pay attention to whether or not you think she WANTS to be approached. If they have headphones in at all, what their body language is telling you (not making eye contact, turned away, etc), if they’re busy and trying to get something done.

It makes the difference between me categorically ignoring you and also being annoyed or possibly even scared depending on context, or at the very least making friends.

And if you are rejected for any of those reasons or different ones, just remember that you or anyone else don’t have the right to someone’s time and attention just because you want it. Don’t take it personally and move on and leave her alone.”

6. Dos and don’ts

“The guys I remember the most fondly had very casual conversation starters and transitioned smoothly into asking my name. Don’t start with “Hey, I’m so and so” or “What’s your name?” It catches me so off guard.

Try mentioning something that doesn’t have to do with her specifically. When you approach me, I’m trying to assess the situation, determine if you’re dangerous, examine my surroundings, and figure out what your intentions are. I don’t want to be doing all of this while answering questions about myself, even if it’s just my name.

Also, read that body language. Make a little eye contact and smile. And then read her body language and make sure she’s not already creeped out or on guard.

For instance, if you’re in line at Target or something, smile and read her body language. Then mention something about your surroundings or the store: “I always come in here for a specific thing and end up leaving with 30 things I didn’t need and forget the one thing I came here for.” Every girl at Target can sympathize with that. If she doesn’t say anything, don’t push it. She’s not into it. If she seems good with the conversation, just make small talk in line and then give her your number.

NEVER FOLLOW HER OR WAIT FOR HER IN THE PARKING LOT. That is creepy. We are constantly told how dangerous parking lots are so you immediately come off as a threat.”

7. No confrontation

“Don’t corner or confront them. Don’t ask personal information off the bat. Compliment their outfit, hair, makeup, or something they have control over and not their body or face (don’t objectify). If they they’re doing something (reading, listening to music, shopping, etc.) leave them alone. If they ignore you, leave them alone. Realize that they probably get unwanted attention all day long and might not want to talk.”

8. Friendly

“Don’t approach them as someone you are interested in, approach them as someone you want to make friends with. Start with “hello” or a wave, and then try making a friend. If you don’t want to make a friend, you are not worth getting to know.”

9. Complimentary

“Approach her casually in a public place and compliment something she has control over (i.e. clothes, hair, makeup, etc) and use words like “cool” “awesome” or “rad”. Nobody is intimidated by compliments like that.

Also if someone isn’t interested, just accept it and respect their space. There is no excuse to bother someone in their own time if they aren’t interested.”

10. Don’t force it

“I hate when men come up to me and say “hi, what’s your name? I just wanted to introduce myself…blahblahblah”. It’s fine but that has never resulted in me having an awesome connection or giving my number out. It just feels forced. Like I know we haven’t met, that’s why your introducing yourself. Be confident. If you notice she’s watching the game say “oh don’t tell me you like the xyz team” or if she has an interesting looking drink ask her what it is. If she’s looking at the menu tell her they make killer nachos. If she doesn’t want to talk, she won’t. If she’s interested you’ll start talking and at the first lull that’s when you can tell me your name/ask me mine/etc. I don’t want to hear the standard question list. Show me you can actually talk to me and you’re fun to be around.”

11. Mutual interests

“Striking up a conversation about a mutual interest sometimes works. The thing is you have to be genuine. Strange guys approach single women all the feckin’ time and feign interest when the real message is, you’re good enough; I’d do you.

Take an interest in her personality, in her tastes. Relate to her as a human being. She may shut you out for any of a thousand reasons and she doesn’t owe you an explanation, but once in a while a woman might decide that you seem fun and interesting.

That being said, women tend to be less on guard when there’s an introduction through mutual friends or if the two of you belong to the same club.”

12. Don’t change a thing

“Honestly? the same way you would approach a dude you simply wanted to have a conversation with.”

13. Give her space

“If I am on the street, just don’t approach me. Period. I live downtown and I have received death threats after engaging with strangers.

Make your introduction light, and if shes not feeling after a couple of seconds, wish them a good day and leave. If you are engaged with a women for at least 30 seconds and shes not feeling it, I guarantee shes has thought of an exit strategy already.

Give her space to talk, so if she does want to leave, she doesn’t have to wait for you to finish speaking or interrupt you.

Just giving a woman freedom to leave a situation makes a huge difference really.”

14. Remember these words

“Don’t forget this quote:

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” “

15. Don’t be a gnat

“Also, if it’s out in public, bear in mind she’s probably on her way to do something- going to work, meeting a friend, trying to catch a train, making an appointment, etc… so if she ignores you or brushes you off, it might not be you, specifically. I’m often harried when I’m out and about, or otherwise very focused on what I’m trying to get done, and a random person trying to talk to me is more like a gnat buzzing around my ear.

I might not even really notice someone is trying to talk to me until 10-20 seconds later, and I’ve already walked off. I’ve been called all manner of horrible things because I more or less ignored someone trying to talk to me. Well, I’m not going to turn around and talk to you NOW. Remember that she’s not there purely for your benefit, so be polite.”

The post Women Share the Best, Non-Creepy Way for Men to Approach Them appeared first on UberFacts.

August 7, 2018

12+ Managers Share Stories of How Fast They Had to Fire a New Employee

I shouldn’t be laughing too hard at this, I almost got fired my very first day of my very first job at a taco place in high school. Whoops!

Here are some great stories from AskReddit users about how quickly they had to fire an employee.

1. Vodka

“Back when I was a manager of an auto shop I had to hire a new guy to handle “driveability” problems – basically carburetors and engine tunes and sensor problems back then. It took forever to find someone, but I finally hired a guy who had 20 years experience, an impressive resume and all the certifications.

Suspicious thing was he showed up for his first day driving an old beater Chevette, body one color, hood another, fenders another, giant toolbox hanging out the back hatch. Supposedly he was a top-end high-earning tech? First week there were problems with misdiagnosis and comebacks, Monday after his wife called in sick for him. She showed up to pick up his check. Next week more problems, wife called in sick for him Monday again. Our dispatcher figured something was up with the guy. Tech goes for a smoke-break, dispatcher comes out and checks the big-gulp the guy always had at his toolbox; turns out its like straight vodka.

Anyway, fired, third week in.”

2. Drug test

“Hired a kid to work opening shifts at a local pool. We were short staffed so he was learning the ropes with me on a 5 am shift. As we opened he asked if he could make a quick cup of coffee. I agreed asking him to make me one. Around 5 minutes later a swimmer comes up to me and said she saw my lifeguard snorting something. I was obviously pissed and went to go see what was going down. I go up to the window and saw him doing more. After a short argument he finally decided to just leave and not make me drug test him. Lasted a whole 10 minutes of us being open.”

3. Wow

“I managed a gas station for a while. I hired this guy who seemed completely normal, which was hard to come by so I had him start the next day. After about 30 mins of working he says he needs a break. No big deal, something must have come up. Maybe 10 minutes later a customer came in saying a man was passed out in the men’s restroom. I send another guy working into the restroom and the dude I just hired was naked and completely unresponsive. Paramedics come and turns out he overdosed. He survived but I still never got an answer on why he was naked.”

4. Not a keeper

“One week. I got a call from the county jail because this girl I had just hired had been arrested and she refused to give any info to the police except for the fact that she worked for this particular store. They called me trying to figure out her info and a person to contact about her arrest. I told them I couldn’t give out that info but I would call her emergency contact to let them know that she was in jail.

I call this girl’s emergency contact (who was her mom) and told the mom that her daughter was currently sitting in jail. All the mom said was, “figures” and she hung up on me.

After she was released from jail, about two days later she ended up in the hospital from alcohol poisoning. So yeah, I had to let her go. The worst part is that I actually liked her.”

5. Sleepy

“Not a manager, but I usually sit in with the manager during interviews.

They decided to bring in a contractor; I didn’t think much of his technical skills during the interview, but the manager decided to give him a chance.

He fell asleep during his orientation, then twice at his desk. This was his first day, before lunch.”

6. Thief!

“I had a person who was all smiles in the interview to be a personal banker. She seemed to have a knack for sales, and just, really sharp. Within the first hour of her starting, post training, she attempted to deposit 100,000 into a dummy account she had set up. It set off about a million red flags in the system that alerted me, my boss and my bosses boss. Time from clocking in first day post training, to being fired/arrested….20 minutes. 10 of those were waiting for the cops.

Within 20 minutes of her first shift she took around $200 out of the register.

We put exactly $300 in the register at the start of each shift for the float.”

7. That was quick

“Less than an hour after orientation.

Got a call shortly after he went to work that he was harassing all the women and claiming “we wouldn’t dare fire him or he’ll come back at night and break our panels with a hammer, like he did to his last job” he was bragging this to EVERYONE.”

8. Weed ’em out

“About an hour. Kid was a temp hire and we set him up at his job, showed him what to do, and turned him loose. There was a can of degreaser sitting with the machine he was operating. I came into my office and sat down, looked up, and watched him pick up a shop rag, spray a lot of degreaser on it, then he pressed it into his face and started huffing it. Deeply. I got up, went over to him, and said, “Come on, son” and walked him to the door. I asked the temp agency to please attempt to weed out a little better.”

9. Yeah, fired

“I had a bartender who lost money her first shift by herself. The drawer started with $200, came back with $140. She had worked 6 hours and did not have many credit card tips or anything, so she “somehow” managed to spend all of her tips + $60 without leaving the building. Yeah, fired.”

10. Get him out of here

“I worked for a major 3 lettered computer company. A new service tech was hired. Once he logged in, he pulled out a portable hard drive from his backpack, connected it to his machine, and started to copy everything he had access to. Within 3 hours security was escorting him out the door.”

11. Classy

“I hired a guy – he shows up late on his first day then proceeds to make offensive and racist remarks to co-workers and the clients. 2 hours.”

12. Moron

“Not me, but I had a friend who supervised a movie theater. They hire this kid, first day, first showing of the day, he lets 20 people in and follows them in himself. he thought no one would notice he and his friends partying while watching a movie that he closed sales to so they’d have the room to himself.”

13. That’s part of the job

“I work at a daycare. I’m not a supervisor but I watched my supervisor fire someone on the first day.

Most of our new hires are actually middle aged women. 90% of them are awesome but a lot of them feel super entitled because they’re middle aged. Doesn’t help that I’m only 23 either. Anyway our new hire’s first day of work. She seems ok, doesn’t make to much of an effort with the kids. Not that abnormal, takes sometime to get comfortable with other people kids.

We change diapers on a schedule unless they poop or obviously need a change. I’ve changed a couple diapers already and noticed she doesn’t lift a finger if the kid needs a change. 10 am roles around which is when we change every kid.

I ask her to help me. She seems surprised and goes, “Oh I don’t change diapers honey!” Yep this lady refused to change diapers. She took a job caring for babies… she was fired maybe an hour later.”

14. Another thief

“Ok, i have one, but I’m not a manager. I had worked IT for quite a while. There was a guy I worked with at a job that was… troubled. but trying to get it together. He had lost a previous IT job because he was selling surplus gear on eBay.

Through an odd set of circumstances, i met this guy in a social setting, unrelated to work. My friends that had known him a while said that the eBay thing is what led to him losing his last job. Anyway, smash cut to 4 years later, I’m a a completely different job and I see him. He had lost a TON of weight (not that he was fat or anything to begin with). Anyway. I said _”dude what’s up?” _He looked super skittish and said that he had just got hired. I said cool, hit me up sometime and we’ll catch up.

I never saw him again. That night he allegedly entered the building and made off with several servers. He didn’t realize we had cameras everywhere and had him dead to rights hauling it off. He was given a choice to return it and leave or they’d file charges. He returned it and left.”

15. In over his head

“I let some poor kid go after 30 minutes. He didn’t want to quit because it was his first job, and he bought scrubs entirely for this occasion- but he was clearly in over his head the second he started his orientation (to my own credit, he interviewed like a CHAMP, and some people are just really good at saying all the right things). I asked if he would feel better if he was fired (my intention being to remind him the “fired” is a bad thing, so if he doesn’t think he can hang- he should quit on his own terms).

He said “yes,” so I fired him. He shook my hand and told me I had nice eyebrows and left. The next day he emailed me to let me know he was quitting… I told him there were no hard feelings since he was already fired. I have now learned to ask every PHLEBOTOMIST applicant if they are comfortable being exposed to blood. Thanks Connor.”

The post 12+ Managers Share Stories of How Fast They Had to Fire a New Employee appeared first on UberFacts.

August 7, 2018

12 Ways to Get Rid of Unwanted Guests

It might seem strange, but back in the day there was a secret language regarding guests and pineapples. Guests would give the hosts a pineapple when they arrived, and when it was time for the guests to leave, the hosts would serve pineapple upside down cake. There’s no misinterpreting that!

Nowadays, we have to find other ways to tell people to get the heck out, and these 12 people have found ways that work – for them.

#12. The small mugs.

“English here. I have 2 sets of tea mugs in my house, small and large. If someone turns up and i don’t want them to be there long, i give them the small mugs and hope they leave when they’ve finished.”

#11. Chatting away…

“Say, “Well, it was great catching up with you.” Stand up, head towards the door. Yawn loudly.

Although one time this didn’t work and I lost it. We had friends come to pick up an item they’d bought. They wouldn’t stop chatting. Oh, the questions about everything. I had an appointment 2hrs drive away and I didn’t want to be late. SO and I finally got them out of the house but they just stood there now talking about different stuff. I’d said I had to leave. Now. That I might be late. I felt panic. “It was great seeing you.” I walked to the car and started getting in. SO was trapped on the doorstep talking to them. I lost it, screaming, “Hurry up (SO’s name), we’re going to be fucking late. Get in the car, now.” I look up to three shocked faces. SO says, “I’m coming. We’re just saying good bye.”

#10. A lack of attention.

“In my third year flat, my flat mate had this constant need for attention. He’d stand in my doorway or sit on my bed for hours chatting, I didn’t mind at first, but it turned into every night of the week without fail and got really, really tedious.

I used to say all sorts like I’m going to chill and watch a film, he’d invite himself to watch it. Got to do my Diss work, he’s bring in his laptop to do this.

In the end the only way to get rid of him was to play warcraft while we chatted he’d have half my attention and eventually give up

Edit:

So this blew up a lot more than I expected. I just want to make a note, while the guy was insane to live with, he’s still a decent friend and had a few personal issues which might have made this whole thing worse.”

#9. Tummy trouble.

“Stomach problems. Tell a guest that

#8. Take a hint.

“Play ‘Closing Time’ over and over again until they get the hint.”

#7. Oh look at the time!

“Start talking about a topic that bores them.

Had that one friend living in the same building and visiting me too often and too long. But she kind of detested video games so whenever I started with “When I was playing Final Fantasy the other day…” she always blocked “Oh, look at the time! I have to go! Bye!” and went home for the day.”

#6. Worked like a charm.

“My grandpa used to get up, put on his pyjamas and act surprised that people were still in his living room. Worked like a charm.”

#5. Clever Gramps.

“My grandfather would always turn up the thermostat so all of the rooms got unbearably hot/stuffy haha”

#4. Snoozers.

“Fall asleep.. my dad does that! He invites my uncle, and he’ll stay for HOURS, my dad will just fall asleep in the chair until my uncles decides to stop starring at him and finally leave!”

#3. Well, then…

“If you’re British, you wait for any lull in conversation, put your hands on your knees as you stand up and say, “Well then…”

#2. And still he stays.

“Finally, a post where I can tell this story.

My sister comes back from university for the weekend and one her friends gave her a lift home, let’s call him Adam. Bare in mind she arrived home at around 4pm. I get home from school around 5 and Adam is still there after inviting himself in as he wanted a quick rest from the 2 hour drive from Birmingham to London.

Anyway, skip forward a couple of hours. It’s 7pm, he’s still there and keeps saying he needs to leave soon as he is having Friday night dinner at his aunties, whilst my mum is cooking for our Friday night dinner. Finally my dad walks in at 7.30 and is greeted by Adam who he has never met before with his hood up and feet sprawled over the sofa. My bald dad asks why he has his hood up to which he responds wittingly with “I didn’t want to make you jealous of my hair.” Dad’s not happy, but laughs it off.

Eventually, Adam asks if he can stay for dinner, my mother being the typical Jewish mother that she is even though she has only cooked for the four of us can’t say no. Now, we don’t have a traditional Friday night dinner it usually last around 45 mins- 1 hour so think he will leave after. Oh, wrong we were, he’s still here at 11pm and not looking likely to leave any time soon.

Eventually, Adam leaves to use the toilet. At which point my dad comes up with an ingenious solution, someone will phone he mobile and he’ll pick up and pretend to be his brother claiming some emergency and we all have to go to his house. So, Adam comes out of the toilet, I ring my dad’s phone, he has a fake conversation with no one and hangs up. He tells Adam we have to go over to my uncles whilst my dad puts on his coat. Adam accepts this and start to get ready to leave.

10 minutes later, Adam is still there ‘getting ready’. This time my dad say we have to leave now and ushered everyone outside, locks the front door and we head to the car. Adam, gets into his car and just sits there. We wait a couple of minutes expecting him to drive off, but he never does, he just sits there looking at his phone. This is getting ridiculous now, my dad turns on the ignition and drives off. We go around the block and drive back up the road, and he is still there. So my dad parks up in the road next to house and wait 10 minutes to go back when he has finally gone.

We had to run away from our own house to get rid of an unwanted guest, because we are too polite to tell him to fuck off.

TLDR: Sister’s friend outstays his welcome, invites himself to dinner and we have to pretend to have a family emergency in order for him to leave, and he still stays.”